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Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.
379 - "The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer"
- The "truck-truck-truck" gag.
- When Fat Tony causes a rival gang's car to spin out of control, it slams into a truck full of baking soda. A truck full of vinegar then hits the car causing it to fill with foam. The gang members remark that it isn't so bad. At this point, a truck of TNT hits the car, destroying everything.
- Homer saying that he can function as a mafia subordinate by following the cues from the greatest gangster movie of all time: Shark Tale.
- Homer alibi for not being the one poisoning the food? He wouldn't still be eating the poisoned meatballs after the fact.
- Fat Tony has some trouble with his Palm Pilot:Fat Tony: The sit-down's tonight? Again this Palm Pilot has failed to remind me! I believe this needs to be hot-synced. (Louie takes Palm Pilot and shoots it) What are you doing?!Louie: I thought you meant ‘hot-sync’ it. You know how it is with us, everything means kill!
- Springfield doesn't have McDonald's and Burger King because Krusty pays Fat Tony to keep them out.
- Krusty comes up short and only offers $5 to silence Hardee's. In response, the mobsters beat him up.
380 - "Jazzy and the Pussycats"
- When Bart starts playing the drums for the first time, he imagines them all as Homer saying "D'oh" every time he hits them.
- Bart's drumming leads to him reenacting The White Stripes' "The Hardest Button to Button
" music video...only to literally crash into the actual White Stripes also performing the video.Jack White: Hey, kid. Why don't you watch where you're drumming?Bart: Sorry, White Stripes. No hard feelings?Meg White:...Let's kick his ass! - "Without the ability to drum, I'm useless - just like Phil Collins!"
381 - "Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em"
- "Simpson, you've been waving your nuts in my face for too long. Eat shrimp and die!"
- Bart and Skinner fight to the tune of Duel of the Fates.
382 - "Treehouse of Horror XVII"
A - Married To The Blob
- Homer eating the glowing blob from the meteor, despite it trying to escape his mouth.Homer: If I can keep down Arby's, I can keep down you!
- Homer then gobbles up the Squeaky-Voiced Teen at a beach party bonfire.Homer: Mmmm...extra virgin.
Squeaky-Voiced Teen: Tell my friends I died kissing a girl!
Homer: No! - Then there's Oktoberfest...German Guy #1: What did we Germans ever do to deserve this?
(German Guy #2 looks at him like "Really, man?")
German Guy #1: Oh, right. - During the montage where Blob!Homer eats various overweight citizens of Springfield, a parody of Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby's Got Back" plays... called "Baby Likes Fat." What's more, the show got Mix-A-Lot himself to perform it:I like big guts and I cannot lie!
Double chins with the chafin' thighs!
When a dude walks in with the hanging jowls,
My stomach starts to growl — I'm getting hungry!
So I masticate, chompin' on the overweight!
I eat fat people for days, like potato chips by Lay's!
Try to eat just one but it can't be done, I gotta eat a ton!
Baby likes fat!
Baby likes fat!- Also, Fat Tony tries to shoot Homer down, but instantly gets eaten.
- And The Facts of Life Reunion Tour where he eats Blair, Natalie, Tootie, and Jo.
- Dr. Phil has a heart-to-heart talk with Homer.Dr. Phil: Homer, your family's here. And you've gotta help me help them help you help me help you!
- But moments later, Homer eats him too.Dr. Phil: Food does not equal love! (he dissolves)
B - You Gotta Know When To Golem
- Krusty complaining about his lame "Desperate Houseflies" sketch.
- The female companion the family makes for the Golem ends up having the voice of Fran Drescher. Homer immediately attempts to destroy it.
C - The Day The Earth Looked Stupid
- Orson Welles: The devastation is incredible! They're grinding up the bodies of human beings!
[sound technician uses an eggbeater to grind up corn flakes]
Welles: Now they're riding horses in the rain!
[sound technician clacks coconut halves against a wooden board while pouring water into a metal tray]
Welles: Now they're playing the xylophone while bowling near an airport!
[sound technician holds up sign reading "Screw you" and leaves]
383 - "G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)"
- Homer tries to inspire his troops using Captain Crunch as model, stay crispy.
- While making love to Marge after deserting from the military exercise, Homer gets caught in the act by an Army UAV. What ensues is a Looney-Tunes-esque chase as Homer tries to shake off the drone following him.
384 - "Moe'N'a Lisa"
- Grandpa recounts his experience at the 1936 Olympics as a shot putter.Grandpa: I barely missed Hitler. But I did hit an assassin trying to kill Hitler.Hitler: What is this, “Kill Hitler Day?”[cut to present]Grandpa: The next time I saw Hitler, we had dinner and laughed about it.
- Pretty much everything the J. Jonah Jameson-esque poetry editor says.Editor: (on phone) Stop the presses, send my wife some flowers and bring me an Advil. What do you mean you don't work for me? You're hired. Now that you're hired, you're fired. Now that you don't work for me we can be friends. How come you never call? Some friend you are! (hangs up) God, I love this business.
- Later:Editor: That's sweet. I hate sweet! I want photos! Photos of Spider-Man!Employee: This is a poetry journal.Editor: Okay, then poems about Spider-Man, and I want them finished before you start, and before you finish get me some coffee. And the poems should have the following rhyme scheme, ABBAABBACDECDE. What are you waiting for, Chinese New Year?
- Lisa despondently throws bread to some ducks in the college pond. She then tosses some on the ground, only for grad students to go wild for it.
- "Ooh, you fight like Anne Rice!"
- Homer falling down the stairs while shouting about how girly Moe is for writing poetry.
- Homer's poetry that never got published:Homer: There once was a rapping tomato. / That's right, I said rapping tomato. / He rapped all day / from April to May. / And by the way, guess what? / It was me.
- Homer driving between sips after being told by Marge not to drink and drive.
385 - "Ice Cream of Margie (with the Light Blue Hair)"
- Homer: Marge, this is the most fun I've ever had giving you wood
- "On your feet, you snickering O-ran-gu-tan."
- Ralph sticking an ice cream cone to his head and claiming to be a "unitard".
- "Well, excuse me for having enormous flaws that I don't work on!"
- Martin feels so hot, he feels "like Icarus did when he flew too close to Apollo's golden orb". He then tells Nelson to "punch away", but Nelson refuses because he's too hot. When Martin books Nelson for next week, Nelson punches him anyway.
386 - "The Haw-Hawed Couple"
- The subplot where Homer is reading Lisa the Angelica Button book. When reading ahead, he discovers that Greystash dies to save Angelica from the "Suff-o-clock of Sandy Doom". Rather than upset Lisa, Homer improvises his own ending, providing the world with:Greystash: Mustache power! ACTIVATE! (cue his mustache taking a level in badass, Popeye style)
- And during the credits:Homer: (sobbing at Moe's) No man should have to outlive his fictional wizard!
- Best part is Angelica's delivery of the line "I somehow escaped from the hourglass!" And then Lisa reads the real ending and decides Homer's was better.Lisa: What happened to the Merlinical Council?Homer: Um, they went to Star Wars land and...fought Star Wars.
- Homer also somehow managed to get an autograph from Greystash after learning the horrible truth. His message? "To Homer, Sorry for dying. Greystash."
- The opening of the episode has a weird one:Martin: Individually we are weak, like a single twig. But as a bundle, we form a mighty faggot!Bart: Well said!
- Homer's EPIC discourse on responsibility while driving Bart to Nelson's birthday party:Homer: Son, we all have to do things we don't want to: like have jobs and families and responsibilities and having to be Mr. Funny all the time. You think I wouldn't rather be living nude in the forest like some ancient pagan, just dancing around playing the pan flute?! And here we are.
387 - "Kill Gil, Volumes I & II"
- This scene:Homer: Why are we still letting him stay here?Marge: Because of Christian charity!Homer: What does a porn star have to do with this?
- Gil's thought-provoking observation while watching the Rose Bowl Parade:"You know, those floats should really slow down and savor it, 'cause your life can go to Hell pretty quick!"
- When Bart and Lisa find that Gil ate their lunches, Nelson makes Bart hand over his lunch. All Bart's bag has is two used nicotine patches, which Nelson eats when he mistakes them for mini quesadillas before promptly passing out from the ensuing shock.
- Homer's entire fight throughout the episode with the Grinch-expy the Grumple.Grumple: Grumbly-grumbly gru. Your blood will make my stew!
- Marge has a flashback to why she can't say no to anyone. We then have a nice Lampshade Hanging on the nature of flashbacks.Marge: And that's why I have trouble saying no to people.Homer: Marge, I have no idea what you were just thinking about. I don't know why you'd think I would.
388 - "The Wife Aquatic"
- When Homer is out at sea where his boat is being pummeled by waves, Moe senses he's in trouble and he, Lenny, and Carl leave the bar to rescue him. They stop short when they see it's pouring rain.Moe: Whoa, whoa, it's really coming down out there.
Lenny: We could run to the car.
Moe: Yeah, but then we'd have to stand there while we get the doors unlocked.
Carl: Don't you have one of them keys that beeps the doors open?
Moe: Yeah, but still. (they go back inside) - "Shiiiiiiiiii…pwreeeeeeeeeck!"
389 - "Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Three Times"
A - The Count Of Monte Fatso
- After Homer and the Rich Texan have started to bond, sitting on the back of the Rich Texan's car, looking up at the night sky:Rich Texan: (looking up at the sky) Look at all them stars. How many do you think there are?Homer: Two.Rich Texan: (shocked and angry) WHAT THE?! TWO?! (Angrish) You think there are tw- Well I nev- How could-? (sighs) Why do you think it is that mankind is so inclined towards hatin' one another?Homer: I don't know. Let's just lay here 'til we figure it out.
B - Revenge of the Geeks
- This exchange after Lisa's story about Milhouse and the Gauntlet.Homer: Wow. That had what I really like in a story: an ending.Lisa: The point, Dad, is that when you take revenge, you become just as bad as the person you harm.Homer: No, sweetie, the lesson is (serious tone) never put down your weapon. (grabs his bat and waves it out the window at the Rich Texan) REVENGE!
C - Bartman Begins
- The parody of the Batman origin scene.Snake: Hand over your cash!Marge: SHUT UP!
390 - "Little Big Girl"
- After the fire is started, Waylon Smithers gets caught on fire and begs Mr. Burns for help. Burns, however, is too busy washing his car and tells him that he should be the one helping. Smithers replies that he is flaming, which causes Mr. Burns to give an Aside Glance.
- The spoof of the opening sequence when Bart is granted a driving license. He writes "So long suckers" in the blackboard, the bell rings and he bursts through the school entrance driving Homer's car, and does the same gags from the original opening while driving. He runs over everyone in the sidewalk instead of dodging, and lands the car over Homer when reaching home. All while "Jessica" by The Allman Brothers Band plays in the background.
- Every time Homer calls Bart.Homer: I'm drunk come pick me up, I'm in Chinatown, not our Chinatown.
- Homer phones Bart to ask about the difference between ketchup and catsup. Apparently, it's a matter of life and death and he'll have his head cut off if he doesn't know.
391 - "Springfield Up"
- The Reveal concerning Eleanor Abernathy.
- The documentary style of the episode lends itself to great jump cuts. This interview with Homer and Marge is probably the best.Desmond: Are you considering children?24-year old Homer: No way. You'll never see a couple of rugrats tying me down.32-year old Homer: You better not put this shot after the one where I said we wouldn't have kids. That would be a devastating edit.
- Child!Homer for some reason thought that Desmond was a genie.
- Lenny being such a bore in the episode.8-year-old Lenny: My daddy said I can have any birthday party I want. My cake will be a picture of a dinosaur and all the guests will say, "Why, Lenny, that's a fine cake!" Then, "Yes," I'll say.Desmond: I decided not to waste any more film on him after that.
- Desmond embarrasses Homer with the caption "BARELY LITERATE, SMELLS LIKE FEET."
- Burns orders Smithers to "release the hounds" as usual, but the hounds are over in his winter home. While Smithers is away getting the hounds, Burns has a casual conversation with Desmond and the family.
392 - "Yokel Chords"
- What did Homer pack in his kids' lunches? Lisa got a drawing of a sandwich, while Bart got Grampa's medications.Old Jewish Man: Abe, pull over! You're not the driver!Abe: Shut up, pizzas! I've gotta deliver you!
- Cletus reveals that he home-schools his kids. "I teach the big ones, and the big ones teach the little ones, but nobody taught me, so the whole thing is an exercise in futility."
- Krusty gets recognized by one of the Spuckler kids.Kid: Hey, you're one of those funny guys on the TV with the big nose.
Krusty: A clown?
Kid: No, a Je…
Krusty: Joker! That's right! And I'm not a practicing joker, so I'm not that offended. - Krusty hires Stephen Sondheim to write the music for the Spuckler kids, which proves to be a mistake.Stephen Sondheim: Here's the opening number.
Krusty: Aha... Complex harmonies... Sophisticated lyrics... Pithy observations on contemporary life... What is this crap?! Where's the 'zazz? Why don't you do what you did on Cats?
Stephen Sondheim: I didn't write Cats.
Krusty: Oh, no! All right, I think we can save this. Let's try this: break into a peppy vamp.
Stephen Sondheim: Good, and I can counterpoint it with...
Krusty: No counterpoint! Vamp! Peppy!
Stephen Sondheim: [Starts playing] Hey, this peppy stuff is not bad. Maybe I could do that jingle for Buzz Cola.
393 - "Rome-old and Juli-eh"
- After Selma and Abe get married:Selma: Well, here we are on our honeymoon...
Abe: I thought we were at the circus, Lisa!
Selma: Ho boy... - Homer tries to use his car like Fred Flintstone's car, but it backfires predictably.
394 - "Homerazzi"
- We have the following:Fireman: Mr. Simpson, we've already been here six times this month!Homer: Yeah, but, um, one of those times, I'd actually dialed 9-1-1 by accident but I was too embarrassed to admit it, so I set the house on fire. It feels good to tell the truth! No, I'm lying, it feels bad.
- Also all of J. K. Simmons' lines as the "Jameson-ish" tabloid reporter.(looking through Homer's Photos)
Tabloid Reporter: Wonderful! Terrific! This has "page one" written all over it. Why the hell did you do that!?
Homer: I wanted to remember my place in a book I was reading. - Homer's Imagine Spot about being "moderately wealthy".Homer: [rolling on a handful of dollar bills] Whee, I'm almost rich! I can rent anything I want!
- Among the pictures Enrico Irritazio took of Homer include him hung over at a Build-A-Bear store, strangling a deer, burning a jury duty notice, and eating pizza out of the garbage.
- After Homer resigns being a paparazzo.Rainer Wolfcastle: With Homer Simpson out of the way, we celebrities can go back to our lives of sybaritic excess.
Waitress: Stem cell fajita?
Rainer Wolfcastle: Leave the tray.
395 - "Marge Gamer"
- Marge discovers the Internet, then the online role playing game "Earthland Realms".
- When she can see her house from space, she realizes, via the Internet, Homer is sunbathing nude outside. Then, through the webpage, we see her chasing him. He hops the fence and runs into Flanders' yard, where his parents are visiting.Ned: Homer, you've met my parents.
Homer: Not naked I haven't! - "The Shadow Knight? He's the most evil, destructive player in the game. He once beat me to death with my own life bar." It was either funny or unsurprising that the most evil, destructive, and successful (in Marge's words) player in the game was Bart.
- Marge embarrassing the crap out of Shadow Night!Bart in front of his minions.
- After the original Shadow Knight/Night is killed, Marge becomes the new one and is shown kicking Moe's character's head like a soccer ball.Moe: (a head she's kicking around): "Why am I paying $14.95 a month for this?"
- (Homer notices a guy waving a orange/yellow flag.)
Homer: What's the matter buddy? The American flag not good enough for ya? (headbutts him)
Girl: That was my father!
Homer: (completely serious) I'm your father now. - (Helen Lovejoy's remark to Homer for a bad call)
Helen: You are so blind even Jesus couldn't heal you!
Rev. Lovejoy: Now Helen, let's not bring up the "J" bomb. - Lisa: You can't give me a yellow card! You're my father!
Homer: When I put on these shorts, I'm not your father anymore. And judging from how tight they are, I'm not anyone else's either. - Homer shows Lisa a documentary about football violence. One riot in England lasts for twenty years, while in Brazil, the statue of the Virgin Mary comes alive and beats the living snot out of everyone.
396 - "The Boys of Bummer"
- The day after Bart's game-costing blunder at the championship, the sports section of the Springfield Shopper reads "SHAME!". To get his mind off the subject, Homer turns to the business section...which reads "BOY'S ERROR WEAKENS DOLLAR".
- Moe streaking through the field during the make-up game.
- Lisa telling Bart that their pet rabbit is dead and buried — but not in that order.
- Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney singing an anti-Bart song to the tune of "Love Stinks" by The J. Geils Band.Bart: My favorite song ruined! (tears J. Geils Band posters off his wall)
- Homer and Marge making out at the same place they made out when they first got married: behind a billboard on a discarded mattress while a bum watched. In fact, the very same bum is watching them now.Hobo (groping Homer): You got fat.
- A retired pro baseball player named Joe La Boot is told by Bart that the latter feels sad about missing an easy catch. La Boot explains that he did the same and suffered from Never Live It Down...but when he hears Lisa asking Bart if he was happy, La Boot jumps on the anti-Bart bandwagon. The funny part is towards the end of the episode when Grampa makes fun of La Boot because of a catch he missed decades ago. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome.
- A shout-out to Peanuts: when Bart gets hit by the baseball, he spins around as his clothes fly off.
397 - "Crook and Ladder"
- When Homer is trying to convince Moe to not steal a priceless clock from a burning building:Moe: I can't let go of it, Homer! It's been in my family for nearly forty seconds!
- Homer playing the siren over Principal Skinner's words.
- "It ain't stealin' if you take it fast!"
- Homer telling Rod and Todd that, much like 80% of America, he's whacked out on prescription medication.
- The "Sad Eyes" montage, especially the end with Homer turning the frowny face dials and monitor into a happy monitor, then hearing a warning siren.
- Homer holds up the giant letter "C" from Costington's and says, "This'll make a great toilet seat!"
- Homer complains about his financial situation.Homer: Aw, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?
399 - "24 Minutes"
- Bart prank-calling Jack Bauer, with Chloe playing along. Bonus points for Kiefer Sutherland and Mary Lynn Rajskub reprising their roles as Jack and Chloe.
- Milhouse and Homer spend the entire episode stuck in a dumpster.
- Everyone gasps in horror at the sight of a nuclear explosion in the distance...only to then sigh in relief when Jack Bauer assures them that was in Shelbyville.
400 - "You Kent Always Say What You Want"
- Marge trying to break the Etch-A-Sketch after failing to erase the horrible curse word that Bart heard on the news.
- The Raising Arizona-style run to the dentist.
- Grampa listing all the words that used to be banned on television back in the 1950s, such as "burp," "fanny burp," "water closet," "dingle-dangle," "Boston marriagenote ," "LBJnote ," "hot dog," or "front lumps."
- The end of the episode, where Homer tries to announce the truth about the Fox network:Homer: For years now, Fox has been [PROGRAMMING SHOWS THAT THE WHOLE FAMILY CAN ENJOY].Lisa: *gasps* Omigod! You don't suppose they're gonna start [ENTERTAINING AMERICA WITH HITS LIKE HOUSE, AMERICAN IDOL, AND AMERICAN IDOL RESULTS SHOW]?Homer: I'm afraid they might! But I will not be silenced! The truth is...!20th Century Fox Television Vanity Plate plays
