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Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.
357 - "Bonfire of the Manatees"
- Bart's chalkboard gag is, "Does any kid still do this anymore?"
- Marge leaves the house after discovering Homer filming a movie to pay off a mafia debt.Homer: Marge, wait! I Can Explain.
Marge: (stops) I'm listening.
Homer: I owe the mafia money...
Marge: D'oh! (drives off)- "Wait, you forgot to say goodbye to the kids!"Marge: Bye, Bart! (smashes into Homer's car) Goodbye, Lisa! (smash) Sleep tight, Maggie! (smash) Tonight's the last day you can have that yogurt in the fridge! (several smashes)
Homer: Well, we better go eat that yogurt.
- "Wait, you forgot to say goodbye to the kids!"
- Lenny and Carl want part of the porno that's being shot at Homer's house:Lenny: I'll run the sound board!
Carl: And I'll perform in the sex scenes! (high-fives Lenny) - Homer is surprised when the porno is regular straight porn. He had assumed it would be gay porn because he for some reason thought Fat Tony and the others were the Gay Mafia. They are not amused.
- The mafia torturing Homer by hitting his hands with a hammer, and Homer keeps blaming him losing the money he borrowed on a pig that predicts football results named Professor Pigskin.Fat Tony: If he mentions that pig again, use TWO hammers!
358 - "The Girl Who Slept Too Little"
- Bart: If you're looking for Lisa, she said she was going to spend the night in the boneyard out back.
Marge: And you're just sitting here!?
Bart: I figured the best thing I could do was monitor the news for any reports.
Marge: You're watching cartoons!- In the same scene, after the Itchy & Scratchy cartoon, Bart's out-of-nowhere question:Bart: Mom, can we have fried chicken for dinner?
- In the same scene, after the Itchy & Scratchy cartoon, Bart's out-of-nowhere question:
- How surprisingly xenophobic Marge is when it comes to Count von Count.Marge: Go back to your own country!
- All the bits with Groundskeeper Willie's cousin Gravedigger Billy.
- While searching the cemetery at night, Chief Wiggum freaks out and ends up running around naked until his men finds him the following morning hiding in a tree.
- Lisa has nightmares about Milhouse as a slug.Slug Milhouse: What is it about slime that chicks don't dig?
359 - "Milhouse of Sand and Fog"
- Milhouse's reaction to seeing his divorced parents making out.Milhouse: Sweet Lizzie McGuire!
- Followed by Bart showing him something even more traumatizing: walking in on Homer in the bathroom feeding pizza to a clown face painted on his belly.Homer: I have to do this for work.
- Followed by Bart showing him something even more traumatizing: walking in on Homer in the bathroom feeding pizza to a clown face painted on his belly.
- When Luann finds Marge's bra in her and Kirk's bed (planted by Bart and Milhouse), she storms over to the Simpson house, but Marge is out and Homer answers the door. Luann says she has a message for Marge: "Stop sleeping with my husband."note Homer actually writes this down verbatim on a "While you were out" message pad.Homer: And you are...?
Luann: The wife of your wife's lover.
Homer: Does she know what this is regarding?
Luann: [Facepalms] You moron! Marge is having an affair with Kirk!
Homer: [laughs derisively] That's ridiculous! No woman would want to have sex with that loser! [Luann gives Homer a Death Glare] Uh... I... and, uh, congratulations on snagging him back, he's good stuff... - Milhouse hates his nana because she won't let him eat Froot Loops.
- The episode ends with Milhouse jumping off a cliff because he thinks he has killed Bart.
360 - "Treehouse of Horror XVI"
Opening
- Kang and Kodos have to wait on the World Series before the Halloween special can begin. But, feeling painfully bored, they activate the "accele-ray". However, Kang turns it up too high, completely undoing reality, including God.Kodos: Smooth move, space-lax! You've destroyed the totality of existence!
Kang: It'll be fine. I'll just leave a note.
(places a post-it note reading "Treehouse of Horror XVI") - There's also this little quip before everything goes off the rails.
A - B.I., Bartifical Intelligence
- David using Homer as a human shield only for Bart to cut through without letting him finish his ultimatum, next scene has Homer using David's lower body.
- David punching Flanders in the crotch
B - Survival Of The Fattest
- The Blue Haired Lawyer drafting a contract letting Mr Burns claim hunting people as part of his religious beliefs, despite being one of the intended victims himself. He deservedly ends up being the second person who dies. The first one being Comic Book Guy, who said he'll rather be shot than run the ten minutes headstart. So he is.Burns: Looks like we broke the ice.
- Homer resorting to cannibalism after just a few hours of being hunted by Burns. He even turns down some bananas because they look a little unripe.
- While hunting his guests, Mr Burns notes that "I smell fear... mixed with curry.Apu: Uh-oh...
- After Apu dies, he immediately reincarnates as a rabbit.Rabbit!Apu: Haha, you cannot kill a Hindu! (jumps away but is immediately caught in a bear trap) AHH! Help me Jesus!
- After Apu dies, he immediately reincarnates as a rabbit.
C - I've Grown A Costume On Your Face
- When everybody gets turned into their costume by a wicked witch, Maggie is the only one who can save them, since she was wearing a witch costume herself. She turns them all into giant pacifiers and flies away.
361 - "Marge's Son Poisoning"
- Bart plays a video game titled Tandem Bike Ride With Your Mom.
- When Bart and Marge go to the teahouse for the second time, it turns out to have been closed down forever. Apparently, the cakes were filled with rat droppings.
362 - "See Homer Run"
- When Principal Skinner is speaking to Homer and Marge regarding Lisa's behavior, Willie is replacing the window Lisa broke and accidentally drops it. When they all look toward him, he sheepishly pretends the window is installed and "cleans" it.
- Also, Dr. Pryor showing Lisa's crayon drawings of Homer's embarrassments.
- Even better, Dr. Pryor is shown stepping out of a darkened corner, as this is his first speaking appearance in several years.
- Homer vomiting into his "Safety Salamander" suit.Marge: Haven't you washed that thing once since you got it?
Homer: No, but I swam in it. - Jimbo's ad campaign for mayor. "Jimbo Jones: Tough on nerds, tougher on dorks."
- Mayor Quimby's attempt at hijacking a plane:Mayor Quimby (in 747 cockpit point machine gun at pilots): Take this plane anywhere girls are going wild.
363 - "The Last of the Red Hat Mamas"
- The red hat's leader says they can't perform the heist without Marge's specialty: Being slim enough to go through the secret access, when Marge is disappointed it's the only thing they need her for, the leader points out with her hair it wasn't for discretion.
- Homer's entire fight with the referee in the bunny suit definitely counts. From his Pre-Asskicking One-Liner of: "Silly rabbit, kicks are for ribs!" to his line at the end of the fight:Homer: You're like all Easter Bunnies! Can't take a punch to the crotch!
- Ralph participates in the Easter egg hunt. He isn't aware that his basket has a hole in it, and thus puts an egg in, finds it again, and then it falls through the basket again.
- Among the heist plans is an image of Smithers, captioned "Why no girlfriend?"
364 - "The Italian Bob"
- Homer eating pig meat straight from the grinder at the butcher shop.Sideshow Bob: And he kisses you with that mouth?Homer: (mouth full) I love you, Marge. Mua-mua.
- Homer's gestures to a crowd of Italians.Lisa: Dad, don't act like Mussolini!Homer: Oh, I thought I was doing Donald Trump.
- When the Simpsons first meet Bob in Italy:Simpsons: AHH! SIDESHOW BOB!Bob: The SIMPSONS!All: (startled yelling)
- When Bob declares a vendetta on the Simpson family, Marge looks up the word in an Italian-to-English dictionary and is shocked to discover vendetta...means "vendetta"! Cue screams from the other Simpsons.
- Bob's story about how he came to Italy; he spun a globe, stabbed it with a knife, and decided to go where the knife had landed. This...does not work out so well the first few times.Bob, narrating: I needed a fresh start.Bob: (knife lands on Orlando, Florida) NOT in this lifetime!Bob: (knife lands on North Korea) Dammit!Bob: (knife lands on Shelbyville, a town near Springfield) Never!Bob: (knife lands on a country shaped like Bart's head and called "Bartovia") (sternly) Now, cut that out!Bob: (slowly turns globe until he finds and stabs Tuscany) Ah! Tuscany. Fortune is finally smiling upon me.Bob: (steps on rake)
- Despite his love for the area, Bob's first few weeks in Tuscany don't go very well, mainly because he insists on correcting the grammar of the actual Italians.
- Homer thinks he's following the GPS, but he's actually watching a Federico Fellini film on the car's DVD player.
- Homer tries to thank the old Italian woman by giving her a coffee cup with the word "Kentucky" on it. Unfortunately, in Italian, Kentucky means "whore".
365 - "Simpsons Christmas Stories"
A - The First D'oh-El
- Homer and Skinner's "Three Stooges" routine.
- Homer and Marge outwitting the heretics by putting the halo on a duck and then Moe worshipping the duck.
B - I Saw Grampa Cussing Santa Claus
- After their plane crashes on an uninhabited island during the Second World War, Abe starts gathering wreckage from their plane to make shelter, only to find Burns lying on the beach trying to catch a tan.Abe: Quit lollygagging and build a fire!Burns: I don't have to listen to you! On this island, military rank means nothing. We're in a state of nature where the strong of will control the weak! [Abe promptly grabs Burns in a headlock and holds him underwater] How dare you drown the king of New Burns Island! [Abe dunks him again] How'd you like to be the archduke in charge of coconuts? [Abe dunks him under again] I give up! I give up!
C - The Nutcracker... Sweet
- "Ugh! 18 wheels and they all missed me!"
- One of Homer's attempts to get a present for Marge is chasing down Milhouse to steal his presents.
366 - "Homer's Paternity Coot"
- Marge's reaction to the tire spikes: "What the Hello Kitty?"
367 - "We're on the Road to D'ohwhere"
- When the steam tunnels go out of control, Principal Skinner tries to run away but the steam caught up with him and it sends him flying. He shouts: "STEAAAAAM!!!"
- When the steam gets to Groundskeeper Willie, he feels hot and wants a drink. He tries to drink from the fountain but steams comes out and burns him. He tries it again but gains the same result. Then he tried to have a soda. When he puts the money in, steam comes out and burns him.
- Homer getting stuck in the window at Skobo's and Starvos hitting him in the ass with a frying pan(after Bart told him Homer was attempting to dine and dash)
- Bart trying to decide whether or not to save Homer from going over the cliff with Homer alternating between raging at Bart and saying he loves him.
- The end where Lisa gets two phone calls from Homer and Marge (Homer telling Lisa that he lost Bart and he's in jail for fighting with a pit boss at a casino; Marge needing bail money after getting busted for selling expired prescription meds) and Lisa tells Maggie that she anticipated the day when it would just be her and Maggie left in the house.Lisa: I'll look for work in the morning.
- Homer's "D'OH!" echoes so loudly that Lenny and Carl hear it. This is followed by a very loud "HA HA!" from Nelson.Carl: Nelson saw something funny!
368 - "My Fair Laddy"
- When Bart inadvertently destroys Willie's shack with a dodgeball full of ice, Willie picks it up and throws it in a rage. It hits his tractor, which shatters like glass.
- Lisa asks Willie if he ever dreams of something better in life. Music similar to My Fair Lady's "Wouldn't It Be Loverly?" begins:Willie: (singing) All I want is a place somewhere.Lisa: And?Willie: That's it.
- Homer later joins the song whilst sitting on the downstairs toilet.
- Marge is creeped out by Homer's advertisement for blue pants on the back of his head. However, when he shuts off the light, the ad emanates light, and she's more impressed:Marge: Wow. It glows in the dark.Homer: (sounding worried) It's not supposed to.
- Lisa reveals "Mr. GK Willington, Esq.'s" identity.Lisa: Mr. GK Willington is not who he seems. In fact, he's someone you all know quite well.Ralph: Is it me?
- Bart reveals that Willie's job as groundskeeper was passed down to the next lowest guy on the totem pole. Cut to Mr. Largo, the band teacher, driving Willie's lawnmower.Mr. Largo: Oh for goodness' sakes, (camera pans out to show the lawnmower on the roof of the school) how did I get up here?
369 - "The Seemingly Never-Ending Story"
- One item Mr. Burns needs in his scavenger hunt is a picture of himself smiling with a child. Unfortunately, Burns scares the heck out of Springfield's children.Milhouse: It's the boogeyman's grandfather!Nelson: He's gonna drink our bones!
- While fleeing from the ram on the loose in his mansion, Burns jumps on a stairlift to flee, leaving Lisa behind:Burns: So Long, Suckers! (The stairlift breaks down) Don't leave an old man to die! (The stairlift starts working again) So long, suckers!
- In his moment of depression, Moe closes his bar and throws everybody still inside out. Barney is thrown out three times.Moe: Barney, how do you keep getting back in?
Barney: I'm a drunk! I don't know nothing about how I do anything!
Moe throws him out once more only for Barney to appear behind him in the tavern - In this episode, it's revealed that Springfield's resident recidivist criminal Snake was once an Adventure Archaeologist until Moe stole his gold coins, causing his Start of Darkness:Snake: I'll take my revenge on society, by which, I mean convenience stores!
- The explanation for Rich Texan's wild gun-firing tic:Rich Texan: "I'm obsessive compulsive! Yee-haw! Onetwothreefour. Yee-haw! Onetwothreefour."
- Marge is about to throw the gold away, and asks Mr. Burns if he finds it more important that he got a child to smile with him. Mr. Burns replies, "Honestly, no. I'd rather have the gold."
370 - "Bart Has Two Mommies"
- The entire sequence of Homer going through the old mill.
- When Rod is helping Bart down the under-construction church steeple.Bart: Don't let our hands touch, it's gay.Rod: What's gay mean?Bart: Umm, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.Rod: (to Flanders) I'm gay, daddy, I'm gay! Mrs. Simpson made me gay!Marge: Uh, I believe he's saying 'he's okay.' (Ned glares at her)
- Homer's Epic Fail of trying to take out the monkey holding Bart prisoner; first he accidentally eats a peach filled with Antifreeze, then he tries to use a blowpipe, only to swallow the tranquilizer dart.
- Nelson is absolutely devastated to learn that Mr. Teeny doesn't actually come from "Funnytown" like Krusty says. Apparently he wanted to live there.
371 - "Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife"
- Homer is so addicted to television that at one point, he calls Lisa "TVsa".
372 - "Million Dollar Abie"
- Sideshow Mel delivering a rather savage comeback when Jimbo insults him.Mel: Touchdown Avenue? Delightful!Jimbo: Who ya talking to? Your imaginary girlfriend?Mel: *scoffs* Isn't your mother a well known whore?Jimbo: *gasp* You win this round, Mel!
- Homer's Groin Attack from running into the sharp horns on Bart's bike.
373 - "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bangalore"
- Willie getting attacked by nerds at the Stargate convention(due to being the closest things they'll get to a woman).
- When Homer first arrives in India:Homer: This isn't India! Where's the University of Notre Dame, the Indy 500, Wrigley Field, Dodger dogs?Indian Woman: You ignorant American, you have confused India with Indiana, Indiana with Illinois, and the Cubs with the Dodgers!Homer: Oh, no! I took a job on the other side of the world! (camera zooms out showing India on Earth) Oh, I hate this subcontinent!
- "Well, I guess we'll have to move back to a place where the workers are more desperate and ignorant...''Springfield!"
374 - "The Wettest Stories Ever Told"
A - Mayflower Madman
- Homer getting so bored waiting that he figures out the pattern in the naval-themed wallpaper.Homer: It goes ship wheel, boat, fish with boobs, then back to ship wheel.Lisa: What about this anchor?Homer: My life's work, ruined!!
- Bart cheerfully playing with a wood lump."What jolly fun!"
- Homer is wanted by the royal guards for daring to question why the current era is called the "Jacobean Era" when the King of England is named James and not Jacob.
- The Pilgrims's arrival at Plymouth Rock, while Homer and Marge are making out.Homer: Land ho!Marge: What did you call me?!
- When Homer first meets the Mayflower pilgrims, he's introduced to their leader, Ned Flandish.Homer: Stupid Flandish...
- Homer imagines Marge naked... or rather, the prudish Jacobean equivalent, in her extremely conservative underwear, which almost makes her look more dressed than she normally does.
- When Moe shows Ned that Homer and several of the other pilgrims are drunk (on alcohol they were going to give to the Indians).Ned: Horseplay? Roughhousing?! HORSEHOUSING?!
B - The Whine-Bar Sea
- Skinner, in the role as the captain of The Bounty, actually manages to be even more grating than the real life captain. And he really doesn't know when to quit.Skinner: *After being forced to ride on a sea turtle after Willy throws him out of the lifeboat* What are you going to do, dive underwater? I'd like to see th- *the turtle dives* You call this deep?!
- Bart's first action after the crew takes over the ship? Throwing the steering wheel overboard as a "symbol of the old regime".
- Before departing England, Bart says they are receiving a message from Admiral Nelson. It is none other than Nelson dressed as the legendary admiral, including an eyepatch.Skinner: (reading Nelson's maritime flag signal) "Bligh...eats...dolphin...boogers?!"Admiral Nelson: Ha ha!Skinner: Well, when you eat as much dolphin as I do, there's bound to be a booger or two in the mix.
C - Watership D'ohn
- The entire kitchen going outside to play basketball instead of bringing the Simpsons their food at the Frying Dutchman.
- As the Neptune capsizes, Homer's wig falls off. His reaction is priceless."AHH!! MY WIG!! I mean, MY NATURAL HAIR!!"
375 - "Girls Just Want to Have Sums"
- After Skinner makes a fool of himself at a school assembly, Chalmers takes over:Chalmers: Attention, students. Due to nervous exhaustion and diarrhea of the mouth-
(kids laugh)
Chalmers: (annoyed) Yes yes yes, I said "diarrhea". - Homer getting in trouble for implying women are less intelligent than men.Homer: Aw, why did women invent sleeping on the couch?
- And then later on, he does it again.
Homer: (in bed with Marge) Honey, you're as smart as any man. Sometimes when I'm with you, I feel like I'm doing it with a dude. (Cut to him on couch) Oh well, I can always cuddle with the dog. At least everyone knows I'm smarter than you. (Cut to Homer outside sleeping in the doghouse) Oh, how did this happen? - Stabalot: a spot-on parody of the Broadway version of ''The Lion King (1994)', with a little Andrew Lloyd Webber thrown in there as well.
- Special mention goes to the scene where when Itchy and Scratchy are singing in soothing young adult voices, they suddenly speak to each other in their regular voices.
- Bart, on the school being split in two:Bart: Now I can walk down the hall with "Bart junior" hanging out. Isn't that right, Bart Junior? (pulls up a frog)
(frog subtitles: "I thought he meant his penis.") - Lisa's inner monologue with talking math symbols.≥: Do it Lisa. You'll be greater than or equal to boys.
8: Even though you're only eight, your possibilities are infinite.27: ...Twenty-seven!
376 - "Regarding Margie"
- "Don't answer the door! I don't want that judgemental bitch in my house!"
377 - "The Monkey Suit"
- "My mind is always open to new ideas. (looks down at dinner) Onions? IN THE PEAS?! WHAT THE HELL?!?" (throws plate at the wall)
378 - "Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play"
- "Buck Mitchell is back on top - ending rumors of marital problems and inviting rumors of steroid abuse!"
- "He's made six errors, struck out twice and swallowed a bee!"
- "She embarrassed me in front of the entire tornado league" (a tornado passes by with Barney caught in it)
- The whole "Sexy Marriage Land" part, especially when Bart goes "Wow, I suddenly feel the urge to give her a five!"
- Double Duffman:Duffman: Duffman gives the people what they want.
Marge: Weren't you just tied up in the blimp?
Duffman: Three Duffmen are working the game tonight. But don't tell the children. It's disillusioning.
(two Duffmen thrust their hips at each other while exclaiming "Duffman!" repeatedly)
