Funny / The Simpsons Season 15

The Simpsons Funny Moments Index
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Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.

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The reason Homer doesn't listen to his brain.

314 - "Treehouse of Horror XIV"

Opening

• Grandpa getting lit on fire.
  Grandpa: What the—? I'm still cold.
• Kang and Kodos lampshading a Halloween episode being shown in November:
  Kodos: Who's still thinking about Halloween? We've already got our Christmas decorations out!
  ("Sleigh Ride" Plays as their red and green spaceship flies off into spaaaaaace)
  Kang and Kodos: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

A - Reaper Madness

• Pretty much the entire segment, but easily one of the best parts is at the very beginning with the Simpsons running from The Grim Reaper through their house in the form of Scooby-Dooby Doors while set to Yakety Sax.
• Homer's Battle Cry when he "kills" Death with a bowling ball? "This is for Snowball I and JFK!"
  • Shortly before that is Bart desperately begging Death to take Milhouse instead of him: "We all know there's no happy ending there!"
• invoked Homer's dramatic Big "NO!" when he realizes that by killing Death, they'll never cancel The Jim Belushi Show.
• Death's robe threatening Homer with a Groin Attack unless he fulfills his duties as the new Grim Reaper.
• Jasper wonders where Doug is:
  Homer: (melodramatically) Jasper, your time has come.
  Jasper: Where's the regular guy? Where's Doug?
  Homer: Never mind, I'm Death now.
  Jasper: Aw, I liked Doug.
  (Jasper dies; his name is crossed off the "To Die" list)
• After Homer successfully evades God at the end:
  God: [sighs in exasperation] Ah, gah, I'm too old and too rich for this. [leaves]

B - Frinkenstein

• After Frink Sr. rips out Skinner's spine, Agnes admonishes him for even that:
  Agnes: Lost your spine, huh? You just keep finding new ways to disappoint me.

C - Stop the World, I Want to Goof Off

• Bart and Milhouse having a ball with their new magical stopwatch. Including acts like:
  • Making Lisa pick her nose in front of Marge.
  • Pantsing Principal Skinner in front of the entire school during an assembly.
  • Stealing Homer's donuts as he tries to eat them one by one, and when Homer tries to commit seppuku with a knife, Bart and Milhouse replace the knife with a banana. Homer starts crying, and to twist the knife further, they strip Homer naked, adding to his misery. Last but not least, they bring Nelson in to laugh at naked Homer, and then strip him naked too!
    Nelson: [suddenly appears next to Homer; he turns, sees Homer is naked, and is halfway through pointing and laughing...] HA- [... when suddenly his clothes vanish] -HUH?!
  • Changing the town hall's meeting topic billboard.
    Billboard: RECENT STRANGE EVENTS
    NEVER EAT GREENS
    TV TEENS GET ACNE
    GENTS' REAR: TEN CENTS
  • Dressing Mayor Quimby in an assortment of humiliating outfits like a Sailor suit, a French Maid outfit, a Viking outfit, a horse suit, and a sandwich mascot suit. All while talking with his outfit changing on each word he says, and always with his "MAYOR" sash as part of the costume.
    Quimby: People, Springfield is in crisis. Fingers have been shoved up noses. Pants have been pulled down. And [his clothes suddenly change to a French maid outfit] Mayors [then a sailor suit] have [then a Viking] been [then a pantomime horse] repeatedly [then a sandwich mascot suit] humiliated. Damn it!
• The mere fact that it took fifteen years for Bart and Milhouse to fix their Time Stands Still stopwatch, especially when the instructions book said that it would normally take only around 1-8 hours.

315 - "My Mother the Carjacker"

• The reason why Homer never listens to his brain, because of the ukelele playing Disney-like animal.

316 - "The President Wore Pearls"

• Homer's idea about how to beat Nelson.
  Homer: Why don't you start a rumour that he's Ding a ling a ling! Hellloooo! O ho ho ho! What a delicious quiche! I drive a pink miata!
  (Homer prances across the front yard and then comes back inside with a tutu.)
  Homer: My name is Nelson, I use a salad fork, la-de-da, I wash my face.
  Marge: Where did you get that tutu?
  Homer: Clothesline. (He runs off giggling and throwing flowers in the air)
• Superintendant Chalmers is talking to Skinner about how to deal with Lisa. He then points to Willie outside and delivers the glorious line "Maybe that escaped mental patient you hired has some kind of toxin in his shack" at which point Willie waves cheerfully. "Yes, hello Willie".
• "I'll be cooking me Lean Cuisine in yer kiln! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
• We got this segment of the musical:
  Willie: I'm so drunk I can barely see, but it helps me get through another day! My stomach is filled with haggis and ham, I've got to go puke in some hay!
  Bart: Lisa is a fool!
  Skinner: I think the rules are cool!
  Willie: I'VE FALLEN IN THE POOL!
  • Bart's 'poem'.
  Bart: Lisa is a nut. She has a rubber butt. Every time she turns around it goes putt-putt.
• Milhouse asks Lisa if it's true the staff makes fun of the students in the teacher's lounge. Lisa says no and opens the door, just in time for us to hear:
  Willie: Look at me! I'm Milhouse! I tuck me shirt into me underpants! (teachers laugh) I've got no friends, so I confide in Willie!
  • And later...
  Milhouse: Aw man, I almost had a date! I gotta tell Willie!
• When Marge confronts Lisa over the strike:
  Lisa: Mom, I was elected to make this a better school.
  Marge: Well, couldn't you just hang some colorful crepe paper in the gym?
  Lisa: They've taken away our crepe paper.
  Marge: Those Fuddruckers!
  (at that moment, the police arrives to break up the strike)
  Marge: Oh no, they heard me.

317 - "The Regina Monologues"

• The family visits England to help Grandpa find a lost love, and are greeted by then-Prime Minister Tony Blair.
  Homer: (after Blair leaves) Wow, I can't believe I just met Mr. Bean!
• The two gentlemanly gentlemen making out. "Mmmmm-mmmmmmhmmm-mmmmyes, quite. Mmmmm!"
• The family meets J. K. Rowling outside of a bookstore.
  Lisa: JK Rowling! You've turned a whole generation of kids unto reading.
  Rowling: Thank you, young Muggle.
  Lisa: Can you tell me what happens at the end of the series?
  Rowling: (sighs exhaustedly) He grows up, and marries you. (angrily) Is that what you wanted to hear?!
  Lisa: (dreamily) Yes.
• The family leaves England
  Marge: It was sweet of the Queen, letting you go in exchange for taking Madonna back to America.
  Madonna: (from inside duffle bag Marge is holding) I'm telling you, I'm English!
  Marge: English women don't pump gas naked!
• The runner with The Scottish Trope, in which harm befalls Ian McKellen every time one of the Simpsons says the "M" word.
  Homer: Mr. MacBeth, I'm so sorry.
• Homer's defense is to accuse the Queen of being an impostor as her luggage has the initial H.R.H (Her/his royal highness). Logically, Homer deduces she is actually a woman named Henrietta R. Hippo.
  Lisa: Why did you let him be his own barrister?
  Marge: What difference does it make? He hit the friggin' queen!

318 - "The Fat and the Furriest"

• Homer's phobia of bears, getting scared of the bear-themed books in Maggie's room (The Berenstain Bears, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, etc.), followed by him cowering at the bear-themed food products in the house. This culminates in a hallucination where he's ganged up by gummi bears, Teddy Grahams, Paddington Bear, Winnie the Pooh, Snuggle Bear, Smokey the Bear, two Chicago Bears and an "Intensive Care Bear", who march toward him to a menacing version of "The Teddy Bears' Picnic".
  Homer: Why does a bear need a crowbar?^note actually a tire iron
  Intensive Care Bear: I don't like to get my hands dirty. [turns on a radio playing the "Mexican Hat Dance," making Homer scream]
• Lisa wearing the country-western octopus outfit.
  Howdy, y'all. If you don't like my song, I'll spray you with ink!
• When the bear abducts Homer:
  Grant Connor: Ma'am, I will find your husband before that bear kills him. But first, a snack. [shoots down an eagle with his shotgun, puts it between two pieces of bread and eats it whole, feathers, beak and all]
• invoked Homer tossing the bear's former tracking chip into a nearby pond so that it "won't harm another living thing ever again!" Cue the broken chip electrocuting the entire pond and causing a massive collection of dead fish to float to the surface... shortly followed by some random scuba diver.
• This line from Homer when he realizes that Grant Connor is tracking the bear:
  Homer: Oh no! The hunter has become the hunter!
• The ending, with the bear being attacked by Stampy the Elephant in the wildlife sanctuary before the bear is able to ward him off by repeatedly wacking him with a club.

319 - "Today I Am a Clown"

• Krusty the Clown has just realized he's technically not actually Jewish-
  Krusty: I thought I was a self-hating Jew! But it turns out, I'm just a plain old anti-Semite!
  [This is overheard by a passing Rainer Wolfcastle, who grabs Krusty around the shoulders]
  Rainier: We have so much to discuss.
  Krusty: [groan]

320 - "'Tis the Fifteenth Season"

• Anytime a Christmas Special parody is shown. The funniest would have to be "Mr. McGrew's Christmas Carol" and Dan Castellaneta's dead-on impersonation of Jim Backus.
  Mr. McGrew: You'll work on Christmas, or you're out of a job. Is that clear, Cratchet?
  Bob Cratchet: Sir, I'm over here.
  Mr. McGrew: (to the furnace) Ooh hoo! Pardon me, Ma'am! I see, you're expecting! May I listen to the baby's heart-(sticks his head in the furnace and screams in agony)
• Lisa attempts to teach Homer a lesson about Buddhist spirituality and rejecting materialism. Homer completely misinterprets the lesson and decides that everyone in Springfield will be happier if he steals all their presents.
  You're a hero, Homer J.
  You're as crafty as a skunk.
  They’ll thank you in the morning for stealing Flanders' junk,
  Homer Ja-a-ay.
  You're a double bacon genius-burger,
  And just a little drunk!
• Homer's summation of the True Meaning of Christmas at the end.

"Let's just all agree that on this day, a million years ago, a dude was born that a lot of us think was magic. Some of us don't think that, and that's okay! But we're probably right."

321 - "Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays"

• The scene with the Gator Baiter getting killed by a gator.
  Presenter: This naughty little Sheila can snap a man's ribcage like [The crocodile snaps its jaws on his chest with a loud crack] LIKE THAT! [cue the guy being eaten]
• Marge getting a check from the tobacco company.
  Lobbyist: (changes into a demon) NOW WE OWN YOU!
  Marge: But I haven't endorsed it yet.
  Lobbyist: (shape-shifts back and nervously chuckles) Oh, heh heh, here's a pen.
• Both of the ads both against and promoting Families Come First. The former has someone clearly posing as Marge saying "and now, I'm gonna go do coke off the blade of a knife."
  • In Marge's ad, Homer urges people to go to the Al Jazeera website for more info, then quickly adds "we're not affiliated, we're just piggybacking on their message board."
    Homer: (holding picture of Rudy Giuliani and speaking in spooky tone) I am Rudy Giuliani, do as I command you! I am Rudy Giuliani, do as I command you!
• Lindsay Naegle: Let's kill every child... friendly thing in town!
• "One, two, tie your shoe. Three, four, pick up the floor..."

322 - "I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot"^note I, D'oh-Bot

• Chief Knock-A-Homer beating all of the robots in the montage.

323 - "Diatribe of a Mad Housewife"

• On the way to work, Homer orders a massive breakfast from Krusty Burger and has his Diet Coke and the bag deep-fried. Things go south when he splatters the contents of his breakfast burrito on the windshield and tries to steer by the reflection of his watch, then finds that he can't stop because the Krusty toy that came with his meal is jammed under the brake pedal.
• Homer ranting to himself about how he will have to read Marge's novel.
  Homer: I'll have to read Marge's novel, and I swore to never read again after To Kill a Mockingbird gave me no useful advice on how to kill a mockingbird. It did teach me not to judge a man by the color of his skin, but how does that help me?
• Lisa's thoughts on her opinion on Marge's novel.
  Lisa's Jealousy: I can't believe Mom wrote a book before we did!
  Lisa's Honesty: And it's a little trashy.
  Lisa's Conscience: Mom has expressed herself, we should nurture her.
  Lisa's Libido: Let's kiss boys! Binge and purge! Rock and roll!
  Lisa's Conscience: You're not getting out 'til we're 16!
• Bart worrying about how Homer will react to Marge's novel after Lisa tells him that the book will be parodied on MADtv.
• The anti-climatic ending to Homer and Flanders' big car chase:
  Homer: Flanders, pull over! I'm an ambulance.
  Flanders: Well he's got me there. *immediately stops car*

324 - "Margical History Tour"

A - King Henry VIII

• Henry dreams of the perfect son (Bart):
  Bart: Father dearest, I am the son you crave. I'm smart, athletic, and ever so masculine. Could a girl belch like this? (belches loudly)
  Henry: Oh, my beautiful boy! Why can't I have you?
  Bart: I don't know. Too much jerkin' your merkin?
  Henry: Why, you little...! (starts strangling him) Get out of my dreams and into my wife!
• Catherine of Aragon (Marge) goes to a marriage counselor (Dr. Hibbert) with Henry:
  Henry: I want to marry Anne Boleyn, but I can't chop my wife's head off because her father is king of Spain.
  Counselor: Your Majesty, your feelings are valid, but I'm afraid marriage takes a lot of hard work...
  (Henry snaps his fingers, summoning his guards holding axes at the counselor's neck)
  Counselor: ...And who needs that? I say, trade in that lemon and get biz-zay!
  Henry: WOO-HOO!
• Henry VIII/Homer canonizing Thomas More/Ned Flanders.
  Thomas More: (being shot out of a cannon) I can see my houuuuuuuuuuuuse!
• Lisa trying to grow a penis.

B - Lewis and Clark and Sacajawea

• Moe's bar getting destroyed by a tornado and then dropped onto him by the tornado.

C - Mozart and Salieri

• When Salieri/Lisa tries to present her music to the Emperor, but is beaten to it by Beethoven/Nelson.
  Emperor Burns: Splendid, young Beethoven! I hereby declare all other music...obsolete!
  Beethoven: (to the tune of his 5th symphony) Ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa! Ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa!
  • Then, with a befuddled look on her face, she throws Mozart's "Requiem" in the Trash, and calls for the paddy wagon to take her to the asylum.

325 - "Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore"

• Milhouse starts acting out after learning he's moving.
  Milhouse: I've decided I no longer care what people think about me.
  Bart: You mean, up until now, you did care? You, the guy who wore a tutu to school?
  Milhouse: What about all the times I ''didn't'' wear a tutu? Why doesn't anyone ever bring those up?
• Homer's panhandling.
  Homer: COKE AND PEPSI ARE THE SAME THING! WAKE UP PEOPLE!
• Willie's rant about brothers and sisters never being able to get along due to being natural enemies. "Like Englishmen and Scots, or Welshmen and Scots, or Japanese and Scots, or Scots and other Scots. Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!"
  Principal Skinner: You Scots sure are a contentious people.
  Groundskeeper Willie: [gets right up in Skinner's face] You just made an enemy for life!

326 - "Smart and Smarter"

• Bart and Homer's fight in the bathroom.
• When Nelson calls Lisa "gay", Lisa points out to him that whose who accuse others of being gay are often "trying to cover up their own latent homosexuality" to which Nelson awkwardly stammers and then jumps out of the back of the bus.
• Maggie gets a voice emulator that Homer decides to use.
  Voice Emulator: This is Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Er's doctor, he's too sick to come into work today.
  Homer: Err, I'll be right back.
  • Homer then scolds Lisa with the voice emulator.
    Voice Emulator: I agree with your mother. You are a disappointment to Huh-Oh-Muh-Eh-Er.
  • When Homer's asleep, instead of snoring, he uses the voice emulator. "z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z"

327 - "The Ziff Who Came to Dinner"

• One of the posters in the theater is for "You're in The Matrix, Charlie Brown".
• The ending where Artie pisses off a bunch of prisoners by putting out their cigarettes.

328 - "Co-Dependent's Day"

• Homer: I'm in no condition to drive... wait! I shouldn't listen to myself! I'm drunk!
• The Cosmic Wars movie at the beginning is an awesome The Phantom Menace parody on its own, but even funnier is the Comic Book Guy's (who else?) reaction:
  Worst Cosmic Wars ever! I'm only seeing it three more times! Today!

329 - "The Wandering Juvie"

• Homer's taking a long time in the store's changing room.
  Clerk: Sir, other people have to use that dressing room.
  Homer: Dressing room? (beat) Uh oh.
• At the end of the episode, the Warden starts talking about how he's going to go home, eat dinner alone, watch Will & Grace and cry himself to sleep. When the Simpsons ask if he'd like to join them, he replies, "Hey, I just said I had an evening planned!"

330 - "My Big Fat Geek Wedding"

• Skinner makes Homer promise not to tell anyone that he's having cold feet about marrying Edna. Cut to Homer gossiping about it - to Skinner, presumably a moment after the promise. "Homer, you're still talking to me."

331 - "Catch 'Em If You Can"

• The kids and Grampa think that Homer and Marge were killed in a tornado.
  Lisa: [horrified] I'm an orphan!
  Grampa: [equally horrified] I'm a legal guardian!
• Grampa revealing that his legs were that of the Wicked Witch of the East (and he curls them up to prove it)
• Apparently trying to get into the Gold Medallion Club without membership is serious business in Springfield.
  Bart: Hey, what's that crazy girl doing?!
  Lisa: I'm going into the Gold Medallion Club...with silver level membership! (Lisa laughes madly and runs inside)
  Airline Staff: The hell you are! (he pulls out a shotgun, pumps it and gives chase)
• This little gem when Bart gets access to Homer and Marge's flight plan:
  Bart: So Mom and Dad are going to Atlantic City...but their luggage isn't! (Evil Laugh) And Homer's getting the low-fat meal. (Gilligan Cut to a plane in flight)
  Homer: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
• The Saul Bass-inspired sequence depicting Homer and Marge trying to avoid Bart and Lisa, ending with Homer sleeping on an airplane toilet.
• The U.S. and Canadian Coast Guard arguing.
• After Homer and Marge get some alone time in the bounce castle after going over Niagara Falls, Lisa remarks "Looks like things worked out for everybody". It then cuts to Ned and Rod Flanders receiving the massive credit card bills Homer and Bart racked up.

332 - "Simple Simpson"

• Homer's failed efforts to disguise who the Pieman is, to the point that Lisa says they've been getting his mail for weeks.

333 - "The Way We Weren't"

• Ten-year-old Homer's fake name: Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabbar.

334 - "Bart-Mangled Banner"

• Groundskeeper Willie revealing that he is deaf and thinking that a mail-carrier and a donkey insulted his mother.
• Upon Springfield's rebranding as Libertyville, Mayor Quimby announces that everything in the city will cost $17.76. Cookie Kwan is downtrodden because she won't turn a profit selling houses, but Luigi is excited for what it means for pizza by the slice.
• The kids being buttered up with ice cream and kittens... before learning that the whole reason for that is because they're due for a flu-shot.
  Bart: It's shot day!
  (Dutch Angle as he, Lisa, and Maggie scream)
  Dr. Hibbert: (holding two shots in each hand) Welcome to Hell!...man Avenue Medical Plaza.
  • Plus the entire montage of Hibbert chasing after Bart and trying to give him a shot.

335 - "Fraudcast News"

• After Burns' failed attempts to bribe Lisa to close down her newspaper.
  Mr. Burns: Very well, you had your chance. I'm going to shred you like a Christmas card. Now get out!
  Lisa: I can't! My mom's not picking me up for an hour!
  (Beat)
  Mr. Burns: Well, what do you think of today's popular music scene?
  Lisa: I think it distracts people from more important social issues.
  Mr. Burns: My God, are you always "on"?
• Burns trying and failing to crush an ant.

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