The Simpsons Season 16 / Funny

Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.

336 - "Treehouse of Horror XV"

Opening

Homer eating himself.

A - The Ned Zone

Ned keeps having visions of people's death, including the Rosie O'Donnell/Boy George musical closing after three performances.
Ned Flanders: Well I didn't need any special power to know that was coming!
Homer's death throes stumbling around by the 'core destruct' button in the nuclear power plant. And when he ends up managing to hit the button with his tongue.
Ned Flanders: Oh, you STUPID, SON OF A- KABOOOOOM!!
In Heaven, God finally gives Homer what's coming to him: his Frisbee.
The revelation that Homer deliberately pressed the self-destruct button so he wouldn't have to clean the garage, but the joke's on him as the garage gets into heaven as well.

B - Four Beheadings And A Funeral

Peter Pan getting arrested for child abduction.

C - In The Belly Of The Boss

Homer presses all the buttons on the sub resulting in a bunch of weapons going off inside Burns, who gives a succinct reaction.
Burns: Well that hurt like hell.

Logo Joke

Homer taking the screaming lady's place in the logo. He apparently takes it too seriously, as the screaming extends to the 20th Century Fox logo.

337 - "All's Fair in Oven War"

Homer's attempt at plastering the kitchen ceiling, which forces himself and Marge to have to walk on their knees.
"It was done with, how you say, malice of forethought yes?"
Homer's daydream of food mascots beating him up.

338 - "Sleeping with the Enemy"

Bart achieves a perfect score on a state capital test. Homer suspects deceit, and he and Marge take Bart to Mrs. Krabappel's apartment, where the bathrobe-clad teacher confesses that she forgot to roll up the map of the United States before the test, so everyone got a perfect score. The icing on the cake comes at the end of the scene:
Principal Skinner: [appearing in Mrs. Krabappel's doorway in his pyjamas] People, please, it's a school night!
Homer: I thought you two broke up!
Mrs. Krabappel: [scoffs] This means nothing.
Skinner: [sotto voce] Yes, yes, you've made that quite clear...
"Go home to your son. Mrs. Muntz...AND TRY NOT TO HAVE INTERCOURSE ON THE WAY!"

339 - "She Used to Be My Girl"

The "fair and wise" chore wheel landing on Maggie to pick up the dry cleaning... and then her actually starting to do it.
During a volcanic eruption, Chief Wiggum says that the lava isn't a criminal since it hasn't hurt anyone. Cue a random man passing by in the lava burning to death and screaming.
Wiggum: Anyone I know.
Kent Brockman having his mic taken away and then being teased about it. "This just in, I'm pissed off!"
The ending scene, as completely random as it is.
Chloe: Lisa, what are you doing?
Lisa: Praying to Buddha, Jesus, SpongeBob... There's no time to be picky.
Buddha: (in heaven) Should we help?
SpongeBob: Screw her!

340 - "Fat Man and Little Boy"

Bart's fantasy of his action figures turning into an insurance commercial.
"Mom, Dad's built a device that would be deadly in the wrong hands, and he's holding it!"
Lisa and Janey singing "Miss Susie" and the Running Gag of Homer repeatedly being horrified when it sounds like they are about to swear and being relieved when they don't, until he faints the third time.

341 - "Midnight Rx"

Homer sanding off his fingerprints.
Ned and Apu arguing over religion.
This exchange after Homer, Ned, Apu, and Abe have been thrown in a Canadian prison:
Canadian Mountie: We've confiscated your car and its contents.
French Translator: Nous avons confisqué votre voiture et son contenu.
Mountie: You may leave Canada, but never return.
French Translator: Vous pouvez quitter le Canada, mais ne retournez jamais.
Mountie: I am a big fat French idiot.
French Translator: Je suis un grand gros - HEY!
The couch gag.
(The family run to the couch like normal, and sit)
(Uncomfortable beat as Simpsons family look around awkwardly)
Lisa (looking directly at audience): What? Can't we just sit down together like a normal family without anything happening?
(Homer immediately gets skewered by gigantic lance)
Flanders describing his home-brewed coffee:
Flanders: Careful. It's hotter than a Fox News weather skank.
Mr. Burns describing the Plywood Pelican:
Mr. Burns: It's as big as a football field and weighs as much as the state of New Hampshire. I only flew it once at an altitude of six feet for a distance of four feet. Then we discovered that rain makes it catch fire. Then the Führer fired me.
Ned encounters a Canadian man who's almost exactly like him:
Canadian Flanders: Well, circle-cut my bacon, look at all these Yankee Doodley-dandies. Is there another Vietnam going on?
Ned: I sure like the cut of your gibberish, neighborino to the north.
(the two exchange strings of "diddleys" and "doodleys" as Homer and Apu look in puzzlement)
Canadian: (takes out a joint) Say, would you like to puff on the reefereeno? It's legal here.
Ned: (glares at him) They warned me Satan would be attractive. Let's go!
Homer and Grandpa cross the border, Homer thinking he's driving into Mexico.
Homer: [To border patrol] Hola señor! We are gringo and wish to spend mucho dinero in your country.
Border Patrol: Splendid! Welcome to Canada!
Homer: D'oh!

342 - "Mommie Beerest"

A health inspector dies in front of the counter at Moe's Tavern thanks to Moe's various health code violations, and during the replacement's inspection a week later, the corpse is still rotting in the exact same spot. Made even funnier by the fact that Moe and the original inspector were great friends.
The trailer for "Cards".

343 - "Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass"

When the Crazy Cat Lady speaks fluently, Marge asks her how she is able to do that. She explains that she takes pills that improve her sanity. Marge then points out they are Reese's Pieces. She takes it poorly.
While Homer is taking out the trash and complaining that he has become the laughing stock of the world because of the internet, a bus of Italian people stops by and the driver makes fun of him. Mario even asks the other passengers to take his picture next to Homer. From there, the scene turns into a full blown Shout-Out to Donkey Kong with Homer throwing the trash cans at Mario, complete with original sound effects, music, and animations (Including Mario's death animation when Homer manages to hit him).
Homer and Ned's Bible-themed halftime show.
"What we have here is a sad attempt to ignore safety and make it onto our highlight reel. And now...our highlight reel!"
The production logo for Mr. Burns' studio Burns' Celluloid Whimsies is a parody of the Columbia Pictures logo, but with Burns telling the audience "I'm richer than you!"

344 - "Pranksta Rap"

Marge's assessment of rap:
Marge: Rap music belongs in the rubbish bin. It encourages boastfulness, punching, and rudeness to hos.

345 - "There's Something About Marrying"

Marge is completely surprised when Patty comes out to her. Homer, on the other hand...
Homer: Here's another bomb for ya, Marge: I like beer."
The council gathering:
Mayor Quimby: We need to bring tourism back to Springfield! As usual, I will open the floor to all crazy ideas that jump to people's minds.
Lenny: Stronger beer!
Carl: Gladiator fights!
Woman: Poetry slams!
Barney: Giant rats!
(Sea Captain gets up)
Lisa: I have a real suggestion. (the Sea Captain sits back down with a swordfish)

346 - "On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister"

Bart's Take That, Scrappy! moment towards Lisa
Lisa: Can there be any doubt that the culprit is greenhouse gas produced by man? (Bart blows raspberry from walkie talkie, kids laugh)
Bart: The only gas is coming from Lisa's butt! (kids laugh more)
Lisa: People, please! I'm talking about toxic vapors! (raspberry) Emanations! (raspberry) Miasmas! (raspberry)
Chief Wiggum: Hey, whoever's doing that, get off the frequency. We're calming the woods. There's a killer on the loose.
Lou: Aw, let him do it, Chief. It brightens the mood. (Blood drips on his face, he slowly looks up) Oh my god! That used to be a face!
The Flashback where a younger Bart cheers Lisa up by tricking Homer into biting into his finger after disguising it as a hot dog. Funny and heartwarming.
Everything about the restraining order video: Get Out of My Dreams, And Also Out of My Car with Gary Busey.

347 - "Goo Goo Gai Pan"

Mr. Burns' lungs acting as airbags when he crashes his car during the road test.
Before that, Mr. Burns is uncontrollably bearing down on Bart and Milhouse playing ice hockey in the streets. Bart, panicked, dives out of the way, yelling to Milhouse a single-word warning of "Car!" Oblivious to the impending danger, Milhouse gives this priceless gem:
Milhouse: Car what? Car's the subject, but what's the verb?
Homer explaining to Bart what menopause is:
Bart: What's menopause?
Homer: Son, menopause is when the stork who brings babies gets shot by drunken hunters.
The informational video:
Robert Wagner: So let's all give menopause a round of "meno-plause." (looks off-screen) Meno-plause? I'm not saying that.
When Selma visits the Chinese adoption agency:
Chinese consulate agent: The Chinese Government only allows wholesome, married couples to adopt. No "hen without cock." I apologize if that is a Double Entendre in your language. It is not in ours.
On the airplane
Homer: (high on sleeping pills) Hey look, a dragon!
Dragon outside window: Hello, Homer. Give me your peanuts and you may fly on my back.
Homer: I'll give...you...one!
Dragon: Oh, you are a very greedy man. The other dragons shall hear of this! (flies away)
Homer: Hey dragon! You fly like a girl!

(after Marge tells him he as to pretend to be Selma's spouse, and immediately comes down from his high)
Homer: NOOOOOOOO!
The Simpson family does some sightseeing:
Homer: (at the preserved body of Mao Zedong) Awww, he's like a little angel who killed 50 million people. Yes you are, yes you are!
At a show:
Chinese Announcer: I regret to inform you that our star acrobat suffered an onset of outspokenness, and suffered a bullet-related death.
Chinese Man #1: This is most disillusioning!
Chinese Woman: It seems our leaders are not all-knowing!
Chinese Man #2: Now I will question everything! Why doesn't Pearl Jam ever play here?!
Madam Wu: Lisa, soon you will have a Chinese baby sister who will surpass you academically.
Lisa: I don't know about that. I'm considered pretty smart.
Madam Wu: Well, Tibet was considered pretty independent. How'd that work out?
Lisa: (gasps) How dare you make light of that brutal—
Marge: Ehhh, mind your manners, Lisa.
Madam Wu: Such loving discipline! Maybe someday someone will love you too, childless servant.
Marge: (annoyed grumble)
After Madam Wu uncovers the Simpsons' scam:
Homer: I was this woman's husband for a few days — in name only! — and beer will soon obliterate that memory. But I don't think this baby could find any greater love on your planet or ours.
The Chinese Dragons.
Chinese Dragons: (singing in a high pitched voice as they cry rainbows) The man who broke a dragon's heart!
Chinese Dragons: (singing) American jerks are going home/Now we sleep for a thousand years/When we wake the world will end.
The Chinese production of Death of a Salesman. Homer exclaims now he understand the play.
Homer as a Buddha statue attempting a look of utter serenity.
The sign at Tiananmen Square that says "On this spot in 1989, nothing happened."
"Feast upon my shorts, stupid father man."
When Selma lies to the adoption worker about Homer being her husband and she loves him there is a cut to Homer at the Power Plant's cafeteria.
Homer: I just felt a chill go through my very soul...
Lenny: Yeah, the sloppy joes will do that to ya.

348 - "Mobile Homer"

There's a sequence of events that occurs as Homer is cleaning out the garage. First, he finishes a can of Duff beer and throws it behind his shoulder.
Homer: Ahh... hmmm. Seems a shame to chuck out these cross country skis. Mmmmm...I'll keep one. (He snaps the other one in half and throws it in the garbage can.) Let's see now. (checks list) Kill spiders? We don't have spiders.
(Homer looks around for spiders and see one making a web around his right arm.) (screams) Ahhh! (He grunts about 10 times while trying to squish the spider. It crawls under a cardboard box.) Stupid spider! Afraid of dying?! (Homer sneaks over to the box and lifts it up; the spider is gone.) A-ha! Hmm?
(Homer looks around, then under the bottom of the box and sees about two dozen spiders fall on to his face, causing him to run around the garage and scream like a maniac. He finds a can of spider poison titled "Charlotte's Dead" and sprays it on his face.)'' YEEEOOOWWW! OOOWWWHHOOWW! WHAT?! SPIDER POISON IS PEOPLE POISON?!
After informing Marge in the bedroom that he won't be dying for many, many years, Homer gets his neck crushed by the bedroom window.
The photo montage of Homer's near-death experiences, consisting of getting beaten up by Mickey Mouse and Goofy at Disneyland, getting stuck inside a nose in Mount Rushmore and getting French bread stuck through his chest in Paris. Bart is in every single one of the pictures laughing at the event as it's occurring.
Homer is filling his RV with gas. The sign counting how expensive the gas is only has room for three-digit numbers. So when it reaches 1000 dollars...
Homer: Woo-hoo! Free gas!

349 - "The Seven-Beer Snitch"

The ending, where Homer and Snowball II catch each other entering Moe's Tavern.
Homer: I won't tell if you won't tell.
At the council, when Mayor Quimby proposes renaming the town:
Quimby: We're broke. But I have a plan... We change the name of the town to escape our creditors. I need names people!
Lenny Leonard: Lima, Peru!
Carl Carlson: Gotham City!
Chief Wiggum: Wiggumville!
Barney Gumble: Burger King!
The town spends 30 million dollars on a concert hall to seem more cultured. On opening night, everyone starts to leave after the first few notes of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony are played ^Note. When Marge tells them the next piece is an atonal medley by Philip Glass, everyone quickly stampedes out, including the orchestra.
As another example of how un-advanced Springfield is, Mayor Quimby mentions that the town is (or used to be) afraid of eclipses. The last time there was one, the townspeople mistook it for God having stolen the sun.

350 - "Future-Drama"

This argument between Bart and Lisa:
Bart: Well, you love Moleman!
Lisa: No, you do! You're gay for Moleman!
Bart: No, you're gay for Moleman!
Moleman: (sadly) No one's gay for Moleman.
Future Homer buys the very first "hovercar" ever made. He's driving the car with Future Bart in the passenger seat. They enter the "Quantum Tunnel" and when they come out the other side, Bender from Futurama is now riding in the car with them. ["I.G.Y. (What a Beautiful World)" by Donald Fagen is playing in the background.]:
Bender: All right! You guys are my new best friends!
Future Homer: You wish, loser! (he throws Bender out of the "hovercar" and Bender breaks apart) Ah heh heh heh heh heh!
Lisa finds out her future-self is dating Milhouse:
Prof. Frink: Ah, yes. He saved you from burning to death in a fire... which you later found out he started. You should've seen the look on your face! In fact, here it is. (Flips a switch on the machine. A teenaged Lisa's shocked face appears on-screen)

351 - "Don't Fear the Roofer"

"Now let's explore the improbable chain of events that led to this amusing yet tragic farce." It turns out that everyone had deliberately-contrived things in the way that prevented them from seeing Ray, one of them even being a black hole.
Homer and Ray having a nailgun fight.
When Homer sees Ray again after being wrongly committed, he says, "Monster! You don't exist!" and hits him. Ray replies, "No one calls me a monster and questions my existence!" and hits Homer back.

352 - "The Heartbroke Kid"

The spoof of the opening sequence, where the now-obese Bart is buying snacks from a vending machine instead of writing on the chalkboard. When the bell rings, it takes forever to reach the entrance. As he skateboards, the ground underneath him cracks, he bends the streetlight he usually grabs, makes Marge's car spin out of control, and as he gets home, he lands on Homer's car, making him fly out. Finally, as the other Simpsons sit down on the couch, they look at each other, wondering where Bart is.
Bart: (groaning, clutching his chest) My heart! It hurts so much! Like it's caught in a vice!
Homer: (laughing) My boy's in love!
Lisa: I think he's having a heart attack!
(Bart collapses)
Homer: Come on, you can fight this! Do the Bartman! Do the Bartman!
(Bart feebly moves around)
Homer: (sobbing) Oh, why won't you dance? DAAAAAAAAAAAANCE!
Bart gets sent to Tab Spengler's fat camp, with Kent Brockman, Rainer Wolfcastle and Apu also there as patients. One activity Tab has them do is pull him on a chariot, explaining why they're fat.
Kent: (gets whipped) Kent Brockman. Channel Six News. I gorge on kettle corn during the sports and weather.
Tab: We know. Your side-fat's starting to spill over to channel five and seven. I hope you're getting three paychecks.
(Tab whips Bart)
Bart: Bart Simpson. I'm just big-boned.
Tab: No such thing. (whips Bart)
Bart: Growth spurt?
Tab: Doesn't exist. (whips Bart)
Bart: This can't be legal!
Tab: It's legal enough! (whips Bart)
Tab gets very emotional when he finds that he's made a mistake with his camp's motto.
Tab: Ms. Simpson, here we employ a little phrase with our patients: "Tough Luck!"
Marge: Don't you mean "Tough Love?"
Tab: Tough Love? Of course, that makes so much more sense. That guy at the sign store lied to me! (walks across sign that shows Tough Luck) Gary! You didn't question the Tough Luck sign?
- Given a Call-Back at the end of the episode when Homer is about to head to fat camp.
Tab: Homer, you're suffering from P.S.I., (points to a sign with the acronym) poor self esteem. That's not an I. EVERY SIGN IS WRONG!
In the final moments of the episode as Homer is driven to Fat Camp:
Spangler: (to Homer) What are you eating now?
Homer: Cheeseburger.
Spangler: You're a catastrophe. Let me have half of it.
Homer: I don't wanna.
Spangler: I just want the cheese, I don't want the meat. I do want the meat.
Homer: Here's a corner.
Spangler: Let me just bite it, don't rip it! Let me have the whole thing, you'll get some later.
Homer: You're a selfish jerk.
Spangler: I've smelled it, it has to be eaten!
Homer: But it's my burger!
Spangler: I'm driving. I'll kill us!
Homer: (Mouth full) Fine, I'd rather die!

353 - "A Star Is Torn"

Homer's rapid fire indecision on whether he has to vomit or not.◊
Maggie vomiting in her Jack-in-a-box.
One of Lisa's songs appears to cause the Applauseometer to start crying. It's actually leaking battery acid.

354 - "Thank God It's Doomsday"

"I'm gonna steal God's secrets and sell them to Satan!
The hilariously anvilicious Left Behind parody, Left Below.
Thompson: It's the Rapture, Shauna, the Rapture! The virtuous have gone to Heaven, and the rest of us have been... Left Below! We were fools! And because we rejected God (tacitly accepting Satan), we must suffer through the Apocalypse.
Buddhist Monk: I thought all religions were a path to God; I was wrong!
Scientist: Why did I put my faith in science and technology?!
Homosexual: Oh, why did I choose to be gay?!
Homer's reaction to the above Title Drop:
Homer: "Left below"? Where have I heard that before?
Lisa: It's the title of the movie.
Homer: (gasps) It's everywhere!
After Homer's initial prediction fails and people start walking out on him:
Homer: Lisa, you still believe in me, don't you?
Lisa: (as gently as possible) Dad, if you'll recall, I never believed you. Not for one second.
Homer: Aw, that's my girl.
Moe asking Homer to help save his soul. "I've done some stuff I'm not proud of. And the stuff I am proud of is disgusting."

355 - Home Away from Homer"

After Marge catches Bart looking at the adult website, she tells him to turn and face the window - which, as Marge then learns, forces him to look into the Flanders' guest room, where the video was being produced.

356 - "The Father, the Son, and the Holy Guest Star"

Bart being punished by the nuns at the Catholic school.
Sister Mary Thomas: Hold your arms up, like our lord on the cross. Now, hold these dictionaries. (places two dictionaries in Bart's arms) Now, think what this would be like if you had nails in your hands.
Bart: Well, I guess they'd help me hold the dictionaries up.
When Father Sean tells Bart of how he repented his ways after a drunken brawl with his dad.
Father Sean: I was laying on the gutter, picking up my teeth, when suddenly St. Peter himself appeared in front of me. "Sean, you wanker." he says, "Repent of your wicked ways or sod off." And then he gobbed in my face and turned back into a streetlight.
Homer not knowing how to say Bingo when he won at Bingo.
Homer's Long List of sins to confess, including "making the cat and dog kiss" and "masturbating eight million times with no intention to stop".
The flash-forward finale where two Bart-based religions go to war, with "Eat my shorts!" and "Aye carumba!" as battle cries.
- The thing they go to war over? Whether or not God's prophet Bart Simpson preached about love or tolerance.
- The fact that one of the sects claims that Milhouse is their religion's Judas figure.

Funny / The Simpsons Season 16

336 - "Treehouse of Horror XV"

Opening

A - The Ned Zone

B - Four Beheadings And A Funeral

C - In The Belly Of The Boss

Logo Joke

337 - "All's Fair in Oven War"

338 - "Sleeping with the Enemy"

339 - "She Used to Be My Girl"

340 - "Fat Man and Little Boy"

341 - "Midnight Rx"

342 - "Mommie Beerest"

343 - "Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass"

344 - "Pranksta Rap"

345 - "There's Something About Marrying"

346 - "On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister"

347 - "Goo Goo Gai Pan"

348 - "Mobile Homer"

349 - "The Seven-Beer Snitch"

350 - "Future-Drama"

351 - "Don't Fear the Roofer"

352 - "The Heartbroke Kid"

353 - "A Star Is Torn"

354 - "Thank God It's Doomsday"

355 - Home Away from Homer"

356 - "The Father, the Son, and the Holy Guest Star"

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Funny / The Simpsons Season 16

Edit Locked

336 - "Treehouse of Horror XV"

Opening

A - The Ned Zone

B - Four Beheadings And A Funeral

C - In The Belly Of The Boss

Logo Joke

337 - "All's Fair in Oven War"

338 - "Sleeping with the Enemy"

339 - "She Used to Be My Girl"

340 - "Fat Man and Little Boy"

341 - "Midnight Rx"

342 - "Mommie Beerest"

343 - "Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass"

344 - "Pranksta Rap"

345 - "There's Something About Marrying"

346 - "On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister"

347 - "Goo Goo Gai Pan"

348 - "Mobile Homer"

349 - "The Seven-Beer Snitch"

350 - "Future-Drama"

351 - "Don't Fear the Roofer"

352 - "The Heartbroke Kid"

353 - "A Star Is Torn"

354 - "Thank God It's Doomsday"

355 - Home Away from Homer"

356 - "The Father, the Son, and the Holy Guest Star"

Previous

Index

Next