The host and functional Big Bad of the show, he played the part of an egotistical feudal lord whose castle the contestants had to conquer.
- As Himself: Vaguely; Kitano played Kitano playing a daimyo.
- Big Bad: Of the show.
- Blue Is Heroic: Inverted. He wears a blue robe yet is a villain.
- Dirty Old Man: Occasionally if there are some attractive female on stage.
Takeshi's first advisor.
- As Himself: Even more than Takeshi, as he went by his real name.
- The Consigliere: Towards Takeshi.
- Dub Name Change: The Spanish him called him Cousin Mario, as he was supposed to be a cousin to Takeshi who looked just like Mario.
- Facial Markings: Wore red makeup in his nose.
- Porn Stache: Had a small moustache.
- Put on a Bus: Disappeared after the firsts seasons and was replaced by Higashi. The Bus Came Back when he acted as a guest officer in some challenges.
- Contrasting Sequel Antagonist: He was much more energetic and emotional than Saburo, as well as goofier and more of a comic relief.
- The Dragon: Takeshi's most loyal henchman in all versions.
- Dub Name Change: Known as Junior in Spain.
- Early-Bird Cameo: Much before he was ascended to the count's advisor, he could be seen acting as a random crewman or a Emerald Guard captain.
- Cool Mask: As cool as a mask modelled after Takeshi Kitano can be.
- Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Invoked, exaggerated, parodied, played for laughs... All at once.
- The Voiceless: Unlike the real deal, Fake Takeshi didn't talk. Aside from some non verbal cues, he was there for visual purposes while Higashi and some other guests did their work.
Castle Guards and henchmen
- Agent Peacock: Pretty, bishie and girly.
- As Himself: He was basically Michiru Jo playing a very self-parodic version of his Japanese Pop Music singer persona.
- Brought to You by the Letter "S": Sported a giant J in his chest.
- Butt-Monkey: The show often made humor at his expense.
- Camp Straight: He was supposed to be heterosexual, just as Jo is in real life, but you would never say it from his interactions with most male characters.
- Dub Name Change: In Spain, he was called Pinky or Pinky-Winky.
- Magnetic Hero: Villainous example; he tended to form music band-like units with other henchmen, like Shimada or the Pop-Corn duo.
- Real Men Wear Pink: He wore some different guard costumes, but all of them were pink.
- Sissy Villain: Sometimes exaggeratedly.
- Creepy Crossdresser: Wore a Pocahontas-like American native costume for one of the challenges, and it was played extremely for creepiness.
- Dance Battler: When crossdressed, he performed bizarre dances to distract the contestants.
- Dub Name Change: Known as Chucky or Chupy (depending on the occasion) in Spain, in reference to his resemblance to the character from Child's Play.
- Four Eyes, Zero Soul: Sported glasses, giving him a villainous nerdy look.
- Nose Nuggets: His standard persona had a (fake) snot line down his nose.
- Psychopathic Manchild: What his standard persona was supposed to be.
- Overalls and Gingham: His default attire were Dennis the Menace-style overalls.
- Satellite Character: When he was not doing his Pocahontas impersonation, most of his appearances were either teaming up with Jo or replacing him.
- Suspiciously Similar Substitute: When he subbed for Jo, at least in a thematic sense a Creepy Crossdresser replacing an Agent Peacock has some coherence.
- Agent Peacock: A parody, as they wore LGBTI flags and performed fruity dances and chants.
- Badass Gay: Unlike Jo, whose flamboyance was played mostly for laughs, those two were legitimately dangerous henchmen who had a wicked accuracy with the Bridge Ball cannon.
- Camp Straight: Most of their gay gimmick was in their act itself, not in their interactions.
- Creepy Twins: They were twins, villains and at least somewhat creepy (when not hilarious).
- Dub Name Change: Known as the Dúo Pirata ("Pirate Duo") in Spain, pirata being Spanish slang for gay or effeminate.
- Friendly Enemy: Although still antagonistic in nature, they were usually kind towards the contestants if their role was not precisely not being kind. Most contestants even chanted with them before the challenges.
- Nice Hat: Wore black bowler hats.
- Power Trio: Whenever they teamed up with Jo or Shimada. The four also formed a Power Quartet in special occasions.
- Wearing a Flag on Your Head: As mentioned, their ponchos were rainbow patterned, just like the traditional LGBTI flag.
- Blood Knight: Muscling contestants down was an amazing job for him.
- Dub Name Change: Paco Peluca ("Frank Wig") in Spain.
- Elite Mooks: In most versions, he and Kobayashi were some of the most efficient mooks, although Tankobo tended to have his wig grabbed during brawls.
- This Means War Paint: His Japanese theatre makeup worked as such.
- Those Two Guys: Rarely seen without Kobayashi.
A bald mercenary for Takeshi.
- As Himself: Shozo "Strong" Kobayashi was a real life pro wrestler. He played there a slightly freakier version of himself.
- Bald of Evil: Not a single hair in his head.
- Blood Knight: Same as Tankobo.
- Dub Name Change: Juanito Calvicie ("Johnny Baldness") in Spain.
- Elite Mooks: He and Kobayashi were some of the finest in Takeshis army.
- This Means War Paint: Sported some face paint in order to look (even) more imposing.
- Those Two Guys: Rarely seen without Tankobo.
The Sea Goblin
- As Himself: Okada, a real life boxer, did a bit of self-parody of his temper here.
- Bald of Evil: Same as Kobayashi, although with extra monster.
- Dub Name Change: In Spain, to "The Monster of the Dirty Pond."
- Badass Beard: To show better his gaijin barbarism.
- The Brute: He qualified more than anyone due to his rank, as he was supposed to be foreign samurai pledged to Takeshi.
- The Dreaded: Contestants were afraid of sumo-wrestling him in all versions due to his size, strength and meanness.
- Everything's Better with Samurai: Even if they are gaijin.
- McNinja: Mc Samurai in this case, as he was a foreigner who sometimes dressed up as a samurai.
- As Himself: He played his pro wrestling persona.
- Blondes Are Evil: He had his hair dyed blonde. In fact, he was the one who popularized this custom in Japanese professional wrestling.
- Dub Name Change: In Spain, he was called the Dyed Blond Guy.
- Dub Name Change: He went commonly unnamed in Spain, but at least once he was called Yochiro or Yoichiro.
- Those Two Guys: Rarely seen without Katsuo.
- Dub Name Change: In Spain, he was called The Lady due to his makeup.
- Facial Markings: Late in the series, he started wearing makeup.
- Put on a Bus: Was replaced by Daifujii.
- Dub Name Change: In Spain, for some unknown reason, he was called Shark.
- Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Daifujii, a more successful sumotori than Shinoburyu, replaced him when the latter left the show. However, they are so physically similar that the viewer might not notice it.
- Boisterous Weakling: He tended to fire himself up before the sumo challenge, but his little weight and strength made him rather easy to defeat by any marginally athletic contestant.
- Butt-Monkey: As mentioned, he usually lost.
- Dub Name Change: Known as Harry Potter's Cousin in Spain.
- Four Eyes, Zero Soul: He wore glasses (yes, even while wrestling) and was quite vicious, even if he rarely backed it up on the circle.
- Bald of Awesome: Bald and a more effective wrestler than he looked.
- Dub Name Change: The Drunken Monkey, in Spain.
- Muscles Are Meaningless: Surprisingly, although he was barely heavier than Shin, he had a much better record.
- Dub Name Change: In Spain, he was known rather creatively as King Kongs Funny Cousin.
- Giant Mook: He was about 8 feet tall.
- Killer Gorilla: A huge white gorilla who served the evil count Takeshi.
- Put on a Bus: Was replaced by Yoroi after a short time.
- Dub Name Change: In Spain, the Little Samurai, for extra irony.
- Giant Mook: Just like his predecessor.
- Suspiciously Similar Substitute: To Jumbo Max, even if Yoroi became much more known.
Contestants and allies
- Arch-Enemy: To Takeshi.
- Catchphrase: In Spain, "¡Al turrón!" (translatable as something like "lets go!")
- Dub Name Change: Known as General Lee in UK and India.
- Ice-Cream Koan: In the Spanish version, he loved to tell those to the players in his opening speech, always quoting an old Shaolin monk he had supposedly learned under. In a sort of a subversion, some of his quotes were actual proverbs (though, more often than not, tweaked for humorous effect), but most of the time it was all unrelated nonsense.
- Large Ham: Every time he called the contestants to attack.
- Momma's Boy: The Spanish Tani was a bit of this every time his mother came to "motivate" him (usually by insulting or demeaning him).
- The Resistance: Led this symbolically.
- Verbal Tic: In the Spanish version, he always called his interlocutor "piltrafilla" (literally "little sleaze").
- Ambiguous Situation: It was never explained how could this character have multiple lifes and identities. Sometimes it was hinted there was an entire Japanese family of Cudeiros working for the resistance (helped by the fact that Cudeiro is a real Spanish surname), while others it was implied that "Chino Cudeiro" was a Legacy Character that many players would adopt, and the odd moment had the commentators explaining he was a single individual with something resembling Reality Warper powers that enabled him to resurrect and change shapes. Yeah, Humor Amarillo was really that freaky.
- I Have Many Names: Depending on his versions, although in the 90-95 versions he was also called sometimes Yema de Huevo ("Yolk").
- Interchangeable Asian Cultures: He was Japanese, even in universe, but he was called a Chinese. Even the commentators often wondered why.
- Good Colors, Evil Colors: There was no common way to identify visually a Cudeiro aside from the commentators's word, but the player often wore something red (in the 06-07 version) or completely in yellow (in the 90-95), both being conventionally heroic colors.
- Sacrificial Lion: His role and entire reason to be.
- They Killed Kenny Again: The living embodiment of the trope, to the extent a Spaniard will probably understand it faster by naming the Chino Cudeiro rather than Kenny.
- Catchphrase: "¡Dadles caña!" (translatable as something in the line of beat them up!"). Actually, this quote only became her catchphrase late in the shows run; before that, she would shout equivalent sentences.
- Four Eyes, Zero Soul: She had glasses, yet no compassion.
- Large Ham: Her interviews ended always with her shouting to the camera.
- No Indoor Voice: Had no lines that werent vociferous.
- Nominal Hero: She was supposed to be some kind of activist for the playerss rights, but most of her interventions had her precisely demanding even more punishment and humiliation for them.
- Punny Name: Conichigua is a homophone for "konnichiwa", a Japanese greeting phrase.
- Soapbox Sadie: A parody of this kind of character.
The Battlefield Reporter
The show's interviewer. Three people played this role, although in most versions he was considered the same character.
- Dub Name Change: Pepe Livingston in Spain.
- Explorer Outfit: Wore the classic beige shirt, shorts and safari hat.
- Lovable Sex Maniac: A bordering creepy example in the Spanish version, as he constantly invited female contestants into his rouloutte with thinly veiled (or not veiled at all) intentions to sleep with them or shoot homemade porn.
- Porn Stache: Inagawa sported one, which might have been the reason why the Spanish commentators turned him into a sex maniac.