Funny / Takeshi's Castle

• This instance from the Spanish version, in which a character belonging to the Chino Cudeiro lineage makes his appearance. Commentators Paco Bravo and Fernando Costilla break some ribs here.
  An enormously huge contestant comes to the Knock Knock challenge.
  Costilla: And now we cut to the Maxi-Chino Cudeiro!
  Bravo: Wasn't he dead?
  Costilla: Yeah, but you know that in this show the Cudeiros have connections. Aside, we have brought in this guy because he is a whole spectacle himself.
  The brute clashes onto a fake door, and then hilariously decides to keep ramming it again and again, threatening to topple down the wall.
  Bravo: But his IQ is not so spectacular, is it? Instead of giving up, he insists in ramming the door despite it being fake!
  Crewmen (to the Maxi-Chino): Not that door, you meathead! Choose another!
  Maxi-Chino: Like this? (he pats exactly the same door)
  Crewmen: No, that's the same! Choose another!
  Maxi-Chino: Then this other? (pats the same door again) Aw, all the doors are closed!
  Crewmen: The other to your right! To your right!
  The Maxi-Chino finally finds his way through the wall, but he then meets Yoroi lumbering towards him.
  Maxi-Chino: How annoying, this challenge was too difficult! (sees Yoroi) And now what's this? I don't like this, so to Hell with the doll!
  He tackles the samurai, sending him crashing to the ground.
  Bravo: Noooooo! Damn you! You killed the Little Samurai!
  Really Dead Montage for Yoroi, complete with the epitaph "Why has this fellow even died?"
• The UK version, narrated by Craig Charles, is full of gems:
  • From the Star Bowling/Skittles game, there's one moment where the camera focuses on one of the toppled contestants with their face contorted in pain.
  Craig: I know that grimace, it means "New balls, please!"!"
  • The various "As my old man/dad used to say" lines that either worked into a commercial break or ended the episode always made for some funny moments.
  "Let me slip into something more comfortable, and we'll talk about Subbuteo!"
  "Put it in the bank and you can withdraw it later!" (But we didn't have any money!)"
  "You go and get the Black and Decker, I'm gonna go and pay off the nun!"
  "If you're going to sleep on the floor, always order a Big Mac!"
  "Son, are you gay?"
  "Not looking like that, you're not!"
  • Craig has this to say to that unfortunate contestant who inevitably has to fight Shinoburyo, the largest strongest guard in Sumo Rings:
  Craig: Argh, no! He's picked Porker! He's eaten all the pies. And now he's gonna eat you.
  (Later on)
  Craig: (commentating on a suspiciously elderly fighter) In Britain we put old folks in retirement homes. In Japan, they force them to fight to the death!
  • The objective of Dragon Lake is to use a rope to swing from one platform to another. If you manage to land on the second platform, you win. One contestant however decides to take matters literally into his own hands, and jump across, failing miserably:
  Craig: YOU NEED THE ROPE, YOU NUTTER!
  • At the start of one episode, Craig attempts a translation of what the General's saying to rouse the contestants.
  Craig: It roughly translates to "Hey, you lot! Who wants to suffer extreme spinal damage to the lower spine?"
  • One episode has Craig commenting on the Final Fall game with this gem:
  Craig: So far they've all picked the wrong hole. Well, different cultures...
  • Craig calling particularly poor contestants "wazzock", which is a very English insult roughly comparable to calling someone an idiot or a dickhead, is always great. A brilliant example in one episode, when talking about a female contestant accidentally knocking over the general:
  Craig: YOU WAZZOCK! Or is it wazzockess? Leave your answer by postcard.
• In a moment that overlaps with Awesome, one of the contestants on Knock Knock goes charging towards one of the doors in the first row at full force, only for him to bounce off of the wooden fake door. However, he hit the damn thing so hard that he actually DISLODGED it, allowing him to continue on through it as if it was an open door. He even makes it to the end of the course!