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Cygnavamp (that's me!) has trouble writing about herself. She's never exactly sure what to say and, ah screw it, first person mode!

I like a lot of sci-fi and fantasy fandoms. Such as the following:

Here's some tropes that apply to me, but don't expect them to be alphabetized.

  • Bookworm I work in a bookstore and am actually knowledgeable about my wares. Wouldn't mind working in a library. (Sadly, no amount of letting hair down will ever make me a Hot Librarian. I don't even wear glasses to start with.)
  • Afraid of Needles I owe my life to a blood transfusion, so I'm very sad that I can't do the same for someone else.
  • The Cobbler's Children Have No Shoes The woman who tidies up after everyone has a very messy house.
  • Child Hater Most of 'em are loud, whiny, shrieking, spoiled brats. Every once in a blue moon, I'll meet a nice, respectful kid on the job, though. And that just makes my day.
  • Does Not Like Shoes but looooves comfy, warm socks.
  • Everybody Hates Mathematics including me.
  • Hates Everyone Equally Had to tell someone I was sharing a dorm room with that my hatred of her had nothing to do with her race. I would've hated her no matter what color she was.
  • Can't Hold His Liquor Got buzzed on a piña colada once.
  • Hidden Heart of Gold Usually can't stand kids, but will toss some Play-Do in the Toys for Tots bin. Atheist, but made sandwiches for a church that helped her when she was hungry, no questions asked. Misanthropic, but donated blankets to people displaced by Hurricane Katrina.
  • Younger Than They Look People are shocked when I tell them I'm over 30
  • Sweet Tooth Love desserts. Like making them as much as eating them.
  • Unstoppable Rage Prone to this. An art teacher told me to pick the one of the Deadly Sins that I indulge in and make it the subject of a print. I depicted Anger as a gaping shark surrounded by jagged water.
  • Yaoi Fangirl My brother-in-law made fun of me for this, ignoring the fact that he thinks Girl on Girl Is Hot
  • Feminine Women Can Cook I haven't poisoned anyone yet. I'm actually certified in culinary and could work in a kitchen. Tried it, didn't like it, though.
  • Girls Love Stuffed Animals Just when I thought I outgrew it, then fiance now husband gave me a big stuffed bear. Also bought a Beanie Baby cuz it looked like a character I write fan fiction about.
  • Ill Girl Formerly. Had pectus excavatum, got surgery, I Got Better. Then I got worse when the doctors found a fibroid growing in my abdomen. Then I Got Better. The staples come out Friday.
  • Everything Is Big in Texas I'm Texan. Maybe that's why I overdo things sometimes?

I also write fanfiction. You can find some of my stuff on Adult Fan Fiction under the same name. My newer stuff is tons better than my old stuff, though. I might add favorite tropes that I use in writing later. (Page still under construction.)

OK, not sure which Tropes are my favorites, but here are the ones I used in "Aishiteru Means I Love You", posted on AFF.net.

  • All Lesbians Want Kids It's more out of filial piety and a wish to save a dying race, but Yuri and Shinju aren't adverse to the idea of procreating.
  • Asian Baby Mama Played with. Lexington and Staghart make a sperm for surrogacy deal with Yuri and Shinju because....see above trope.
  • Ballroom Blitz Happens at the reception
  • Bilingual Bonus The title for starters.
  • Blah, Blah, Blah Lexington uses "Yadda Yadda" while telling the story of Snow White And The Seven Dwarves because You Should Know This Already.
  • Bookends The story begins and ends with someone reading a wedding invitation.
  • Bouquet Toss Of course
  • Brain Bleach Broadway needs some after seeing Lex and Staghart together. Goliath needs some after realizing what his daughter has just been doing with Broadway.
  • Cats Are Mean Yama has good reason for disliking the cats Shinju keeps as pets. Chan-Chan bites his tail and Tora steals his fish. Kemuri averts the trope, being clever and affectionate. Yuki/Lacey gets Woobie points for being a kitten who happens to be deaf.
  • CPR: Clean, Pretty, Reliable Averted. Angela mentions that after Elisa saved her life with CPR in "Hunter's Moon Part 2", she introduced Broadway to her lunch. (Presumably, its name was Ralph.)
  • Did You Just Have Sex? The answer is often "Yes".
  • Do You Want to Copulate? Matrix's approach to sex.
  • Driven to Suicide Poor, poor Mitsuki.
  • Embarrassing Middle Name Dingo's is "Elvis" and Fox's is "Peaseblossom". Robyn and Xanatos respectively have "Fiona" and "Petros" after canonical relatives. Jackal and Hyena, by contrast, have the ordinary names Hannah Marie and Jack Lee LaFauve. Wolf gets no middle name, but his real name is Randolph Hakonsen.
  • "Funny Aneurysm" Moment Lexington and Staghart had a sex tape made public, played for laughs. It ceased to be funny after the Tyler Clementi incident.
  • Genki Girl Shinju is always very cheerful and peppy with a love of anime, cats, rock music, fashion and bubble-gum scented body glitter. She also likes to tease her super serious brother, Yama. But whatever you do, don't try to hurt her girlfriend.
  • Girl on Girl Is Hot Fang has this reaction on hearing Yama has a pair of lesbian sisters.
  • Give Away the Bride Jason Canmore gets this honor.
  • Has Two Mommies Canonically, all gargoyles. Yama proudly states he has 32 fathers and 30 mothers. He counts a gay couple among his parents. Do not insult them on pain of death.
  • Heel–Face Turn Canonical
  • I Ate WHAT?! Dingo mistakes some sperm samples for coffee creamer.
  • The Immodest Orgasm Brendan hears Lex screaming out his orgasm, just before the results of said orgasm lands on Margo's blazer.
  • Innocent Inaccurate Nashville thinks cunnilingus is either a type of sugar or a chore like doing the dishes.
  • Lohengrin and Mendelssohn Averted. Robyn loathes Wagner, so she goes down the aisle to Aerosmith's "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing". "Somewhere" from West Side Story is also played.
  • The Maiden Name Debate Robyn feels no need to keep the Canmore name, so she will be Robyn Monmouth.
  • Making Love in All the Wrong Places On the wing, in the atrium, in an airplane bathroom, on the beach, in a doctor's examination room, occasionally a bedroom. Even uptight Yama gets it on in a dressing room at a bridal shop.
  • Meaningful Name Jackal and Hyena's family name, LaFauve, is French for "The Wild One". Wolf's real name, Randolph means "Shield Wolf" and his family name, Hakonsen, refers to his decent from the Viking Hakon. Kaede remarks that many of her rookery siblings were named for trees. She was named after the maple in hopes that she would be sweet and Kashi was named after the oak to remind him to be strong. Not sure if this counts, but Felicity Ancelet and Banky Quoyeser are given names similar to the script names they have in canon.
  • Near-Death Experience Robyn has one in a flashback scene. At first it seems like the typical suffocating brain creating comforting images that explains NDE in real life, but then she describes a woman she had never seen before. Dingo recognizes the description as that of his late mother.
  • No Gender Matrix points out that has an artificial life form, he has no set gender, but could take on the shapes of sexual organs, whether breasts or a penis.
  • Noodle Implements The items Angela says she'll need for an ear piercing sound like this, but we find out what they're all for, including the turnip.
  • Noodle Incident Staghart mentions the time he and Lex played a game of "Batman and Robin" that didn't end well.
  • Pimped-Out Dress What else would you find at a wedding? Matrix wears one that Robyn doesn't like. She selects formal kimono for the bridesmaids. Sora gets Yama turned on by dressing like a Southern Belle.
  • Plot With Porn But of course
  • Something That Begins with "Boring" Staghart tries to get a game of "I Spy" started when Brooklyn protests his running narration of the travel log he's filming. In a flashback, Fang tried to get Yama to play "I Spy" with him while they waited outside a hospital.
  • Spit Take Angela does one when Nashville asks what cunnilingus is. Dingo does one when told he just drank gargoyle sperm.
  • Wedding Smashers The Quarrymen show up uninvited.
  • Weddings in Japan Robyn and Dingo have a secular western ceremony, though Robyn has a fondness for Japanese clothes and food. Yuri and Shinju wore traditional marriage kimono for their ceremony. It's mentioned that Yama and Sora performed the San San Kudo ritual.
  • Yaoi Lexington/Staghart. Riku/Kashi. Hinted that Lex once had a crush on Dingo. Yama is straight, but gets into some situations that make people who just walked in think otherwise.
  • Yuri I even named one of them Yuri! Her mate is the chipper Shinju.

It has recently come to my attention that another story I did for HTLJ called "In My Life" was featured on Topless Robot's Fan Fiction Friday seen here. It seems Rob Bricken wasn't sure what to think about it. (Fair enough.) Other reactions seemed fairly positive. Pertinent Tropes are:

  • All Asians Are Alike The review mentions Hercules dating a Chinese boy. Umm...Yen Chau was a Vietnamese woman. Nationality and gender both mixed up.
  • Bonnie And Clyde Autolycus describes himself and Aisha as "Bonnie and Clyde of the desert". His relationship with Gunther has shades of this as well.
  • Child Soldier Emil Robertson lied about his age and joined the Union Army at 14.
  • Cyanide Pill The way out chosen by Gunther Zolo when Driven to Suicide
  • Death by Childbirth Poor, poor Aisha. Poor, poor Emily.
  • Driven to Suicide Poor, poor Gunther.
  • Easy Amnesia Averted. Hercules needs a year of hearing stories about himself to remember who he is.
  • Embarrassing Tattoo Autolycus woke up one morning on a couch belonging to Farrokh Bulsara who will later change his name to Freddie Mercury and finds he has a daisy tattoo on his butt and no memory of the past three days.
  • Everyone Remembers the Stripper According to Rob Bricken, what's the most memorable part of this story? Is it Hercules struggle from single dad in 1850's New York tenements to prairie school teacher/conductor on the Underground Railroad? Is it Autolycus' adventures as a smuggler on the Swiss/German border in WWII? Nope. It's Autolycus porno stint in the 70's.
  • Framing Device Two immortals discuss events in their long lives over coffee.
  • Generation Xerox Emil Robertson becomes a hero with a sense of Screw the Rules, I'm Doing What's Right!. Habiba becomes a thief with a strong sense of independence. Elaine/Sir Elyan the White follows her mother's footsteps becoming a woman who disguises herself as a man to become a knight.
  • The Gump Both Hercules and Autolycus
  • Happily Adopted Hercules mentions having adopted children and stepchildren that he loved like his own
  • Historical In-Joke Frequent. I tried to be as accurate as possible.
  • Intergenerational Friendship Autolycus and Ehrich Weiss who later changes his name to Harry Houdini were just good friends, dammit!
  • Line-of-Sight Name When asked for his name, Hercules sees a pair of scissors and says his name is William Shears. He becomes a bodyguard for The Beatles, who describe him as "The one and only Billy Shears".
  • Literary Agent Hypothesis Takes place in the same universe presented in the episode as "Yes Virginia, There Is A Hercules".
  • Made a Slave "My name is Autolycus, and I am a slave." No, I don't actually have him say that!
  • Masquerade Hercules and Autolycus are part of a masquerade of half god immortals.
  • Meaningful Name Alexiares, "Speak not of War". Anicetus, "Unconquerable". Margarita, "Pearl". Habiba, "Beloved". William, "Protector". Kevin, "Handsome". Victoire, "Victory". Yen Chau, "Pearl of Peace" (NOT "Hello, I'm a Chinese boy".) I think I really like this trope.
  • Mexican Standoff Autolycus gets in one with Pvt. Jakob Kleiner.
  • Mixed Marriage Emil marries Nancy, the daughter of former slaves. Autolycus marries Aisha, an Arabian woman. Hercules gets involved with Yen Chau, a Vietnamese woman who is most certainly not a Chinese boy.
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed Autolycus does celebrity impressions of Jerry Seinfeld and Joan Collins. Rather, Faye Dunaway as Joan Collins.
  • No Bisexuals Averted all to Hell.
  • Of Corset Hurts Emily hates her corsets. Hercules blames her death on them.
  • Perky Goth Chrinia, the Goddess of Reincarnation
  • Porn Names Autolycus did a stint in porno in the 70's under the name "Bootsie Scyros".
  • Repurposed Pop Song I just like naming chapters after song titles. I used actual lyrics at the start of chapters because It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time. (I got the idea from Christine by Stephen King.) I still use song titles/lyrics as chapter names, but I don't really do lyrics anymore.
  • Schoolmarm Hercules becomes a schoolmaster in Civil War Era Wisconsin.
  • Sex Slave Autolycus becomes one for Lucretia. Being a woman's sex slave isn't as much fun as most men think it would be....
  • Slave Brand Autolycus plans to have his removed.
  • Smoking Is Cool Autolycus seems to think so.
  • Spit Take Autolycus does one when Hercules tells him just how many kids he has.
  • Stealth Hi/Bye Chrinia does this, as do other gods.
  • Sweet Polly Oliver Sir Bors/Lady Blanchefleur
  • Theme Triplet Naming After Hercules marries Maggie O'Rierdan, they have a set of triplets named Abraham, Aaron and Alice. Not only do they have the same initial, but they are all in some way connected to freedom. Abraham is named after Lincoln- who had been recently assassinated. Aaron was the name of Moses' brother. Alice means "Truth", as in "The truth shall set ye free."
  • Those Wacky Nazis It should be pointed out that Autolycus and Gunther were not in Germany but Lichtenstein, a small country on the German/Swiss border. Still, they have to deal with Pvt. Jakob Kleiner and the rest of TWN.
  • Three-Way Sex Hercules can't choose between Marie and Jean Pierre. He doesn't have to!
  • Unreliable Narrator Hercules is mostly honest, but should we believe everything Autolycus says...?
  • Unusual Euphemism Knitting, anyone?
  • Walking the Earth When you live forever, what else do you do?
  • Who Wants to Live Forever? See above. Autolycus claims to have inspired the song of the same name.

Got my A machines in the table! Got my B machines in the drawer! First vandaleeeeezeeem complete! —Tre

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