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Pinball / No Good Gofers

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"You're on our turf now!"
Say goodbye to your balls!

No Good Gofers is a Physical Pinball Table designed by Pat Lawlor, his last table for Williams Electronics. It was illustrated by John Youssi and released in 1997.

The basis of the game involves players taking the role of a golfer for a day on the links. However, it so happens that two gophers named Bud and Buzz claim this course as their home. Feeling that their domain has been taken over, they will do just about anything to make the golfer's day pure hell. Of course, the golfer has tricks up his own sleeve so that the gophers don't successfully interfere with his day.

Being a Pat Lawlor table, No Good Gofers shares many features from his previous tables: There's a third flipper that leads to a high-scoring jackpot shot; a set of dual inlanes leading to the lower left flipper; his standard soft-plunge skill shot; and a whirl-wheel that can alter ball direction. As with Medieval Madness, Chicago's Second City comedy troupe helped with the writing and voices.

Digital versions of No Good Gofers are available in Pinball Hall of Fame: The Williams Collection for Xbox 360 and PS3, and as a downloadable table for FarSight Studios' The Pinball Arcade until their license for all Williams and Bally tables expired on July 1, 2018. It later reappeared in Pinball FX 3 as part of Volume 5.

Not to be confused with Gottlieb's own golf-themed table Tee'd Off.

This pinball machine contains examples of:

  • 1-Up: Extra Balls get enabled after either a scheduled number of holes are completed, after maxing out the bonus multiplier for the first (and only the first) time, and as a randomized award at the end of any one completed hole.
  • Adjustable Censorship: A mild example — the game's quotes can be set to "Rude" and "Very Rude". There's nothing profane, but "Very Rude" has the more abrasive clips. (The promo video has Buzz saying, "The only good golfer is a dead golfer!")
  • Alliterative Name: Played with: the game has two characters named Bud and Buzz.
  • Angry Eyebrows: Buzz has prominent eyebrows and is always cross towards the player.
  • Angry Fist-Shake: Featured in an animation when the player's golf ball goes through a clubhouse window.
  • Announcer Chatter: Courtesy of Bud and Buzz.
  • Anti-Frustration Features: The bumpers on the left side of the table will occasionally direct the ball(s) toward the left outlane. Thankfully, there's a kickback that will propel the ball back to the playing field, even when it's not lit.
  • Ash Face: Shooting the center ramp enough times to bring a gopher up will have this effect on Bud and Buzz.
  • Bonus Space: The whirl-wheel has plenty of them.
  • Brooklyn Rage: Buzz has a mild Brooklyn accent and is constantly acerbic towards the player.
  • Cap:
    • The end-of-ball bonus multiplier tops out at 5x.
    • Each hole competed earns a top value of 250,000, making the highest possible bonus earned for each non-completed course 21,250,000 (250K x 17 holes x 5).
  • Cartoon Bomb: One of the random chances that can happen after you complete a hole is a challenge where Buzz will light a golf-ball-shaped bomb with a long wick, and Bud will toss it. If you manage to hit the captured pinball with enough force before the wick is all burned up, the bomb will detonate early, and you'll get points.
  • Company Cross References:
    • Two exchanges with these occur when two balls drain before scoring a jackpot in multiball. The first attempt (Whirlwind):
      Bud: "Now, head for the cellar!"
      Buzz: "You're in the wrong game, idiot!"
    • Second (Earthshaker!):
      Bud: "Everybody, head underground now!"
      Buzz: "Now you're really in the wrong game!"
    • Successfully starting it back up will prompt Buzz to say, "Oh, no!" - just like Rudy does in the same context in FunHouse (1990).
    • Spinning the wheel will cause Bud to announce "Round and round she goes!", a Shout-Out to Cyclone.
    • Light the Captive Ball for Ripoff Multiball to get this quote:
    • Fail to get any Cart Attack rewards:
  • The Computer Shall Taunt You: More like The Gophers Shall Taunt You in this case: draining the ball sometimes gets a quip from Buzz, and if you drain your last ball while you're one putting green away from getting a multiball, Buzz will even belt out an echoing Evil Laugh.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Buzz is noticeably snarkier and nastier than Bud.
  • Dialog During Gameplay: Buzz and Bud will pop out of their holes and comment on what's happening pretty frequently—complaining about getting dizzy if you shoot the same ramp over and over, talking about capturing the ball when you lock a ball, etc.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: The Cart Attack round, where the golfer uses the golf cart to launch missiles at Buzz.
  • Enemy Posturing: A variation: almost any time the gophers are talking, they pop out of their holes and prop up a ramp in doing so. While they're up, they're targets that you can hit for points, or even under the right conditions to set yourself up for a multiball.
  • Fish Eyes: Bud has 'em, in keeping with his ditzier characterization.
  • Gratuitous Disco Sequence: "Dance Party" is one of the rewards you can get for completing a hole, where additional gophers appear and dance in sync with Bud and Buzz.
  • Harmless Electrocution: Happens to Buzz when he nibbles on the wires under the table during Short Circuit mode.
  • Improbable Aiming Skills: Bank the ball off the Cart and into the Hole in One for unique commentary.
    Buzz: "What kind of shot was THAT?!"
  • Jerkass: Buzz, full stop. Even after complimenting you for making a Hole in One, he'll find a way to catch you off guard.
    Buzz: "Here, eat this!"
  • Lava Adds Awesome: When you sink a Hole-In-One, an animation plays of a volcano inexplicably erupting from underneath a hole on the course.
  • Lucky Charms Title: Technically, the title is "No Good Golfers", but the "L" is smashed to pieces by (one would assume) a stray ball.
  • Mad Libs Dialogue: Like Rudy in FunHouse (1990), Buzz will address each player by a different nickname, like "hacker", "spud", or "clubfoot".
    Buzz: "Hey, (name), don't choke!"
  • Match Sequence: Bud (Or Buzz, unknown) kicks the golf ball down a field, where it lands on a yard stick. Interestingly, the ball has an odd habit of suddenly rolling away from the intended number.
  • Medium Awareness:
    • A rather subtle one comes about after completing seven holes and starting "Short Circuit":
      Bud: "I can feel the power!"
      Buzz: "That's all those wires down there!"
    • Another one comes after tilting the table:
      Bud: "Hey, this game is violent enough!"
    • After a ball drain:
      Buzz: "Hole in one! Oops! Wrong hole!"
    • Buzz calls out Bud for quoting Whirlwind and Earthshaker!, as shown above.
  • Mirrored Confrontation Shot: Buzz and an angry golfer are shown facing each other on the slingshot bumpers.
  • Nobody Calls Me "Chicken"!: During "Pop-A-Gopher" mode, the gophers taunt the player while the "Chicken Dance" music plays.
    Buzz: "Chicken!"
    Bud: "Yea, Cluck Cluck!"note 
  • Painting the Medium: During "Short Circuit", while Buzz is chewing on the wires inside the game, the wheel spins erratically and the playfield lights flicker.
  • Pet the Dog: If you trigger the Ball Save, Bud will yell "This one's on us!" as your ball is returned to the plunger.
  • Pinball Scoring: as is usual for pinball tables, you'd almost have to try not to get points in order to avoid ending up with a score with at least seven digits!
  • Ramp Jump: The Slam Ramp, which drops down briefly to let the player try to launch a ball to the upper playfield.
  • Score Multiplier: One of the random Gofer's Choice awards is "Double Skill" or "Triple Skill", which doubles or triples the soft-plunge skill shot value. Since this award comes from Buzz, he's not above trying to mess with the player's aim.
    Buzz: MISS IT!
  • Shout-Out: It's hard not to think of Caddyshack while playing this - especially considering at one point you use dynamite to blow up the gophers.
  • Shut Up, Hannibal!: Any time the gophers pop up, especially if you miss a ramp, and they mock you. You can hit them as they taunt to quickly shut em up for a dose of literal Laser-Guided Karma.
  • Skill Shot: In addition to one that can be hit by a well-aimed plunge, there's a Hole-In-One shot located above the main playing field. This one is accessible by rolling through one of two left-side inlanes which lowers a mid-playfield ramp. The hole can be hit by the lower left flipper.
  • Smart Jerk and Nice Moron: Buzz is the Jerk, Bud is the Moron.
  • Spelling Bonus: K-I-C-K relights the Kickback.
  • The Stoner: Bud gives the impression of being one, between his Fish Eyes expression, slacker voice, and occasional bouts of incoherence.
  • Stuff Blowing Up: Let's see: shooting the center ramp can hit the gophers with dynamite, gophers sometimes fight back by throwing a Cartoon Bomb disguised as a golf ball, and you can even shoot missiles at the gophers in some cases!
  • Summon Backup Dancers: Interestingly enough, you summon them during the Dance Party hole completion reward by shooting the right ramps. The more dancing gophers join the dance party before it ends, the more points you get.
  • Take That, Audience!: LOTS, constantly.
    Bud: "You hit your own cart!"
    Buzz: "You're dumber than Bud!"
  • Tap on the Head: Hitting either gopher will have this happen to them on the display.
  • There Is No Kill Like Overkill: Dynamite and missiles are among the things the player can throw at the gophers. Of course, considering how cartoonish the results are, "kill" may not be exactly the right term...
  • Those Two Guys: Bud and Buzz have plenty of back-and-forth and provide plenty of comic relief.
  • Today, X. Tomorrow, the World!
    Buzz: "Today the golf course, tomorrow the parking lot!"
  • Unpredictable Results: The "Player's Choice" reward. The choices are shuffled so quickly, it's nearly impossible to consistently get the same award whenever it comes about.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Bud and Buzz aren't above taunting each other from time to time, to the point where they'll tell the player to hit the other gopher if one gets whacked by a golf ball.
    Buzz: Don't hit me, hit Bud!
    Bud: Hey, don't hit me! Hit Buzz!
  • Warp Zone: One of the rewards for completing a hole jumps the player one, two, or three holes ahead.
  • Whack-a-Monster: Players are encouraged to pop Bud and Buzz for points and other bonuses.
  • Wheel of Decisions: The spinner doubles as this, spinning to give a random reward at certain times.
  • Wizard Mode: The Hole-In-One Challenge, which starts after every ninth completed hole.