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Funny / Johnny Bravo

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The show itself

  • "Bearly Enough Time."
    • Johnny wakes up Chronos, and their first exchange.
    Chronos: What are you doing in my cave son? Didn't you see the signs, (grabs sign) it says stay out!
    Chronos: Shut up kid, I know what it says! You have any idea who I am?
    Chronos: Of course I'm a bear int he woods. But I'm not just any bear. I am Chronos MASTER OF ALL TIME! (Dramatic Thunder)
    Johnny: Good for you.
    • Johnny's indiference to Chronos' Large Ham procedes to drive the bear nuts, who states he controls time, and "proves" it by calling a number on a cell for and stating the answering machine has the time wrong. Johnny isn't phased and clueless to the very angry bear.
  • "Bravo Dooby-Doo":
    • Johnny and the Scooby gang unmask the Ghostly Gardener, who turns out to be wearing a succession of Latex Perfection masks:
    All: Bigfoot?! Don Knotts?! Joe Barbera?!
    Johnny: Who's that?
    • And the joke of why Daphne and Fred are always splitting up together? The look on Fred's face says it all.
    • Johnny flirting with Daphne, such as jumping into her arms twice when Scooby and Shaggy do their trademark security cling. The best is this gem when Fred suggests they split up.
    Johnny: Wanna get lost with me? I'll give you a Scooby Snack.
    • Not to mention Velma flirting with Johnny in the beginning. Even funnier considering that Cartoon Network ran a series of bumpers shipping the two.
    Velma: Don't worry, I don't bite.
    Johnny: [pointing to Daphne] Does she?
    • Johnny complaining about being stuck with "Jughead" (Shaggy) when they split up. (In the Polish dub, he instead complains about being stuck with "the anemic".)
    • Johnny and Velma accidentally losing their glasses and looking around blindly for them, then picking up each other's.
    Velma: My glasses! I can't see without my glasses!
    Johnny: *covering his eyes with his arm* My glasses! I can't be seen without my glasses!
    Velma: Jinkies! Everything's dark! I've gone blind!
    • At the end when the Ghostly Gardener has been unmasked, and it turns out it's Johnny's aunt who wanted to get rid of him, the gang apologize to her and help her tie Johnny up by the roadside. And who comes along to help him? Speed Buggy!
  • From "The Sensitive Male!":
  • From "Johnny Meets Adam West"
    • During Adam West's talk show, he introduces little Corey and talks to him a bit.
    Corey: Hi, Mr. West. Do you really fight all those bad guys on TV?
    Adam West: How old are you, Ricky?
    Corey: I'm 10.
    Adam West: Sure do, Billy.
    • West keeps tearing up his suit jackets whenever his heroic physique bulges. Turns out he puts Johnny to shame in the muscles department.
    West: Darnit! You wouldn't believe how much my tailor costs me!
  • Perhaps the entirety of "The Day The Earth Didn't Move Around Very Much." Johnny sees his VCR blinking 12:00 and believes time has frozen for everyone but him. What happens next is Contrived Coincidence on top of contrived coincidence, all making Johnny think time is frozen. For example, when he walks into a candy store, the clerk is busy holding a broken display together so the glue can dry and doesn't react, letting Johnny raid the entire store, a couple outside thinks Johnny is a walrus (because of the massive amount of candy he's hiding in his clothes) and don't move to avoid being seen, and the chefs of a restaurant Johnny walks into are playing charades and are concentrating in silence on what one of them is portraying (a rock).
  • From "Noir Johnny":
    • Johnny pondering one of life's greatest questions.
    Johnny: (voiceover) For years, scholars and philosophers have been baffled by one burnin' question. (in reality) Where do the tiny people in your TV come from?
    Johnny: Actually, this one's about a dolly.
    Pops: Oh. Well, I still don't know anything.
    • Johnny torturing a guy for information (by flinging drops of water onto his face) despite the guy being more than willing to help him.
    Man: You idiot! I'm trying to help you!
    Johnny: Yeah, when I need your help, I'll ask for it. Now tell me what I need to know. Don't make me use the ketchup!
    • It eventually turns out the toy thief is a Femme Fatale who Johnny of course immediately falls in love with. After she gets arrested, much to Johnny's protests, Suzy finally has her dolly back... only for her to throw it away because it got mucked up during the case.
  • In one episode Johnny is in Ireland, chasing a leprechaun, who tries to get away by turning into a sheep and hiding in a pasture. How does Johnny find him? By shouting "Scotland rules!", which causes the leprechaun-sheep to jump up and protest. Could also double as a Moment of Awesome, considering Johnny outsmarted someone.
    • Why is Johnny chasing a leprechaun? Johnny heard you should kiss the Blarney Stone for luck in romance, and when he accidentally tripped over the leprechauns pot of gold, the leprechaun introduced himself as "Barney Stone".
    Johnny: Close enough!
  • "You've gotta follow your heart, Johnny... THEN BURN ATLANTA!" "General Sherman is right!" Context 
    • It's even funnier if you know where Cartoon Network's headquarters is located.
  • In one episode, Johnny has Donny Osmond for a nanny. At the end, he floats away on an umbrella, attempting to imitate Mary Poppins. And then he's struck by lightning! "Oookay, that was a bad idea. Can I borrow your car?"
    • Donny takes Johnny out into the mountains for a singalong, and Johnny tries to get out of it by tossing Donny's guitar into the sky. Donny reveals that he brought along some bagpipes instead!
    • From the same episode, Donny takes Johnny to a Suck E. Cheese's:
      Donny: Why don't you jump in the balls?
      Johnny: Why don't you jump in a river?
    • Another great exchange:
      Donny: Now, Johnny, I'm going to teach you how to sing!
      Johnny: I'm gonna teach you how to shut up.
      Donny: Cool! It'll be like a trade!
  • "One Angry Bravo" full stop.
    • The reason why Johnny is at the courthouse? Santa told him to meet him here. In reality, a mall Santa threatened to take Johnny to court over him trashing everything.
    • One of the jurors, frustrated by Johnny's stupidity, jumps out the window, crash lands, and immediately yells "I'm O.K.!"
    • This exchange:
      Judge: You're out of order!
      Johnny: (to the judge) No, you're out of order! (to the courtroom) You're out of order! (to a candy machine) THIS CANDY MACHINE IS OUT OF ORDER! (pounds on it; candy comes out) (Johnny reaches in) Ooooh, candy!
  • Johnny (to a woman he's trying to seduce) "I'm pretty. You're pretty. What do you say we go home and stare at each other?"
  • Johnny declaring "You shall be MY WIFE!" in a triumphant voice is pretty funny to hear.
  • Johnny trying to play "she loves me, she loves me not" with a field of four-leaved clovers, not realizing that because of the even number, "not" will always win. Not to mention it's illegal to pick the four-leaved clovers, and Johnny has ruined a small hill worth of them.
  • An idiot meets his echo.
  • In "Johnny O. And Juliet", Johnny conspires to get his mom and a neighbor lady to end a feud so he can date the neighbor's daughter by infesting their lawns with aphids. After Bunny and Mona (the neighbor) team up and get rid of the insects, they cheer by doing a sort of "raise the roof" motion, only neither knows what it's supposed to mean.
    Mona: Bunny?
    Bunny: Yes Mona?
    Mona: What does this mean?
    Bunny: I have no idea.
    • It's just their total deadpan dialog that sells the moment.
  • When Johnny is trying to get a new car, he plants a toy car in the ground hoping it will grow into a full-sized car. When nothing happens, he angrily remarks "stupid car plant".
  • The end of "The Clueless Kid".
    Johnny: So do I get my red dragon belt of death?
    Master Hama: No, you get frilly pink apron of shame! Go clean toilets.
  • Johnny is turned into a vampire, and lets out a Big "NO!" when he finds out this means he can't look at himself in the mirror anymore.
  • In "Johnny Telethon", Johnny is roughly $1,200 away from getting enough money to save the $1.03 store (going out of business due to a $1.02 store opening next door). When the last act of the night can't make it Johnny tries to make the last of the money by taking off his shirt and making music with armpit farts, then when the counter starts rapidly spinning and at first glance it looks like his act is gaining money, it turns out he was losing all the money he made. Following this the counter turns to negative numbers, meaning they now owe their backers.
    • Carl for some reason puts on an opera act at the telethon. It doesn't get much positive reaction...until Johnny physically throws Carl off the stage, at which point the audience cheers.
    • Pops and his assistant Bobo put on a magic show with Bobo suspended in a wicker basket full of swords in a shark tank. Unfortunately, Pops botches the act, and Bobo almost dies in the process.
  • In the episode where there is a specter living in Johnny's attic, this happens...
    Organ starts playing itself.
    Johnny: That's Eerie. Scary! HORRIFYING!! *starts dancing* But it's got a nice beat!
    • Johnny looking for a rare comic book in his attic to get some money, discarding jewelry and gold bars in the process.
  • From "Johnny Goes Hollywood":
    Johnny: This man's not breathing! Parthamithuh... Pardamida... Partumiduh... Is this even a word?
    • Also this:
      Johnny: To be... or... not to... be.
      *pulls out a script*
      Johnny: Nyeheheh, this is stupid. Who writes this?
  • In one episode, Johnny attempts to recite the alphabet.
    Johnny: A, Blee, that curvy one... A, Blee, Three!
  • From the episode "Super Duped":
    Random Kid: ...Then, my cat coughed up this thing, which kinda looks like George Washington.
  • In the episode "Bravo 13", Johnny and Carl end up getting lost on the way to the amusement park, and end up crashing in front of the NASA Space Station. To get inside, they have to get past the guy manning the gate. Johnny, thinking that NASA is the amusement park, blabbers on about riding the most extreme rides, even if it means risking his own life to do it.
  • At the end of "I, Fly", Johnny, Carl, and a fly are all having dinner at Pops' with swapped bodies and characteristics. Then the fly says:
    Fly: This was a strange and disturbing episode.
  • This exchange:
    Carl: I dunno Pops. Isn't otter an endangered species?
    Pops: Relax, it tastes just like bald eagle! I mean chicken.
  • Johnny's ancestors. One of which searched for the Fountain of Youth, and ended up poor and friendless years later. Another one betrayed Americans to the British.
  • In a parody of Frankenstein, Johnny wanders in to Pops' Diner to find him blind and confused.
    Pops: Who’s there? I can’t see because I just had laser eye surgery. (feels around Johnny's face) Poor inarticulate brute. Come and share this simple meal with me. (sticks a flaming kabob in Johnny's hand)
    Johnny: AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
    Pops: No, no, fire good.
  • "Fugitive Johnny" has Johnny make a phone call to the policewoman who is leading the manhunt for him. She quickly determines that Johnny is calling from the police depot itself. Then the camera zooms away to show that Johnny is in the same room as her—sitting at the same table, even. And when she confronts him, he shoos her away because he's busy talking.
  • Several from "Luke Perry's Guide to Love":
    • One of Luke Perry's fangirls talks about stealing a lock of his hair to clone an army of him to overthrow the government.
    • Johnny calling himself a genius by taking pig hormones and using them as a deodorant to attract chicks.
    • "Thanks LUKE PERRY! You're a great friend, LUKE PERRY!"
    • Johnny attempting to speak French to win a girl over.
    • Luke Perry's mic getting lodged next to a yoga instructor, resulting in Johnny completely blowing his chances with his date.
    • When Johnny and Luke meet:
    Johnny: (gasp) You're Fidel Castro!
    Luke: Luke Perry.
    Johnny: Right. What did I say?
  • From "In the Line of Johnny":
  • At the beginning of "Chain Gang Johnny"
    Carl: Johnny, you're not supposed to read the subtitles out loud in funny voices while making hand puppets on the screen!
    • The female prison guard, in a parody of the Sunglasses Man from Cool Hand Luke, attempts to discipline Johnny by sentencing him to 30 days of solitary confinement in The Box, a small isolated shed in the prisonyard. Johnny is unimpressed, until she sentences Carl to go with him, THAT makes Johnny break down crying and beg for mercy.
  • From "The Great Bunny Book Ban":
    • Smelly Raymond's book report:
      "My book report is about The Little Engine That Could, which is about a little engine that gets attacked by ninjas, but morphs into a snowmobile, and then his robot friends come to help him, and they blow up the Death Star."
    • Mister Blowhard's reason for banning Harold and the Fuzzy Bunny:
      "Harold and the Fuzzy Bunny depicts a world where bunnies frolic shamelessly at parties, at picnics, and even on the moon! It's THAT kind of fantasy hoo-ha that leads to dancing, card playing, and the eating of TOFU!"
  • In "Candidate Johnny", Johnny and Carl are running for Assistant Litter Commissioner.
    Pops: Carl has 99% of the vote.
    Johnny: So wait, I only got 1%?
    Pops: Actually, you got zero.
    Johnny: How?
    Cut to polling reporter
    Reporter: Who do you prefer, Carl or Johnny?
    Man: I like pie!
    Spinning Paper, "Carl 99% Pie 1% Johnny 0%"
    Johnny [reading the paper]: I'm kind of worried, Pops. The pie has an impressive grasp of the issue.
    • The pie is later included in a debate, with a headline later declaring "Pie Concedes 'I'm sickened and disgusted'". Johnny later eats the pie during the vote count.
    • Johnny concludes his debate with "And that's why ozone depletion is our best friend!"
    • Johnny decides to enter the campaign to impress the pretty members of the environmental council, and then asks one of them to help him tear down all of Carl's posters.
    • When Johnny opens the hood on Carl's environmentally-friendly car, he finds that it's powered by a walnut and a glass of water, which according to Carl is the same energy that powers the Sun. Johnny eats the walnut and drinks the water, but Carl worriedly states that the electron balances in both have been very carefully calibrated, and they explode leaving Johnny in a crater and covered in radiation, which Carl says should wear off long before election day.
    • During Carl's speech in the debate, Johnny begins mudslinging towards Carl, mentioning that Carl has six wives, is a convicted diamond smuggler, and took a rubber ducky to his high school prom. Out of all three lies, the one about the rubber ducky (which is heavily implied to be true) is the one that costs Carl the election.
  • In "Hail to the Chump", when Johnny becomes mayor Pops barges into his office saying that the city health officials tried to close down his diner. When Johnny asks if it was because there's asbestos in the chili Pops replies that it was because there's radon in the meatloaf, but his actual complaint was that he had to bribe the inspectors with a thousand bucks to go away when the old mayor only charged 500.
    • The reason Johnny becomes mayor? The Mayor and his entire administration gets a bad case of food poisoning from Pops' tuna at the Tuna Jamboree, and according to the town charter, in case the ruling council is incapacitated, authority shall be turned over to the village idiot, i.e. Johnny.
    • When Carl tunnels out of prison with a spoon after Johnny enacts a law stating that all nerdy dweebs be imprisoned, he sees the Johnny-shaped sphinx and says that it's terrible... because a real sphinx faces north northeast and the proportions are off.
    • When Johnny calls in his army of gorgeous women lawyers they march in to the tune of a sexy drum beat. Johnny then turns to one of his hot assistants, who just happens to be on the drum set, and says she doesn't have to play that every time the lawyers come in.
    • When Carl leads a revolt against Johnny in the climax of the episode, he gives a long, winding speech about brotherhood and solidarity, to the point where his own mob gets sick of him and throws him out the window. They then depose Johnny and put him in stocks at the public square where he is pelted with fruit.
  • Johnny vs. a chess-playing supercomputer. Johnny breaks it.
  • The episode "Send in the Clones", where Johnny mistakes a mad scientist's lab for his cable provider and unwittingly lets the scientist clone him, and the clones soon run amok. In particular, at one point Johnny tries to talk to a woman only to find that it's a Johnny clone in a dress, and the baby in his carriage is also a clone who asks Johnny for a dollar. As Johnny runs away, he passes by a Johnny dog.
  • When Johnny informs Suzy that the Tooth Fairy isn't real, she says that she knew that the Easter Bunny wasn't real, but she had hoped the Tooth Fairy would be. Johnny stops and asks, "Wait a minute, there's no Easter Bunny?". Cue Big "NO!".
  • From "Jumbo Johnny":
    • When Johnny asks the Snake Oil Salesman if Uber Mass really works, the guy replies with "It's been scientifically tested by Dr. Floppy!". He then ducks under the table, sticks out a rabbit hand puppet wearing a doctor's uniform, declares "Uber Mass gets my seal of approval!" and sticks a A+ rosette on the cocktail on the cart.
    • "Is it government approved?" "Well, it ought to be, with such great chocolate taste!"
    • The salesman even has a computer with a rendering of Johnny on it.
      Johnny: Hey, that's me! I'm pretty. Where'd you get that?
      Salesman: Internet!
    • "Whoah! All the pixelated 2D babes I want!"
    • "You're gonna like being huge, Johnny!"
      Johnny: Yeah, I bet-hey, how'd you know my name?
      Salesman: (nervously grins, then dashes off)
      Johnny: (looks at the viewer) How do these people know my name?
    • Johnny's reaction to waking to find himself obese after he drank a whole crate of Uber Mass at once.
      Johnny: Whoa mama! What the?! Hey, the Uber worked! (flexes) I'm a ocean of muscle, ebbing and flowing on the tide of studliness!
  • This exchange from "Beach Blanket Bravo":
    Johnny Bravo: [Andy hands him a surfboard ahead of the competition] What am I supposed to do with this?
    Andy: You're supposed to..."jazz the glass".
    Johnny Bravo: Uh-uh, man. That sounds *nasty*!
    Andy: No. What kind of square are you? "Smooth the curl"...
    Johnny Bravo: No way, kid. I ain't smoothin' no curl, this hair's my crowning glory.
    Andy: No, trip the wave fantastic.
    Johnny Bravo: Come again?
    Andy: Surf, daddio, surf!
    Johnny Bravo: [realizing] Ohhh...
    • The shark who tries to trick humans into swimming with him. No one falls for it for a second. Well, except Johnny.
  • In "Johnny's Inferno", Johnny is looking at a magazine when a little girl shouts, "Look, Mommy! That guy's looking at pictures of almost naked men!" A bunch of heads turn his way, and with all eyes on him, Bravo defensively gets in the girl's face to declare, "This is a men's fitness magazine, I want to look like this, not at this. I've got nothing to be ashamed of!" *shamefully tosses a few bucks to the clerk and tells her it's the TV guide*.
    • The demon tries his best to get Johnny to commit evil acts, but not only are most of them Poke the Poodle, they end up backfiring in positive ways. For example, he has Johnny bring 11 items to the 10 Items or Less line in the grocery store, and pay with pennies. Canadian pennies!
    • He also alters the You Must Be This Tall to Ride sign at an amusement park and hogs the rides for himself and Johnny while mocking the kids, at least until the car they're riding in snaps off.
    • Before that, he makes Johnny dance on grass protected by a "Keep Off" sign to tear it up... only for a horrifically mutated rabbit to claw itself up from beneath the ground, revealing that several barrels of toxic waste were buried under the grass, and he just saved citizens from danger.
  • In "Enter the Chipmunk", Johnny tries to recreate the incident where he became a karate master with a chimpunk in his pants to impress a girl. He does this by slathering himself in peanut butter and calling out for a chipmunk in an oak tree. Suddenly, a whole bunch of other animals (including Misplaced Wildlife like a penguin, a vulture and a tiger in the city) comes at him from all sides in a Big Ball of Violence for the peanut butter.
    Johnny (in a twisted heap and pulls out a tape-recorder): Note to Self: don't do that again.


  • The DVD Commentary on the Cartoon Network Hall-of-Fame Season 1 DVD set has some gems:
    • Jeff Bennett slips into character as Johnny Bravo several times, including in the commentary with Van Partible for the show's pilot episode when talking about an animation error where Johnny's body from the waist down abruptly disappears:
      Bennett (as Johnny) "I've been sawed in half, baby. I don't like it one bit. My legs are kinda tiny, but come on..."
    • At one point in the commentary for "The Sensitive Male" (featuring Van Partible along with writers John McIntyre, Butch Hartman, and Kara Vallow), Butch jokes that had he animated a particular scene in the episode (the "Your Feminine Side" music number) animated by Seth MacFarlane instead of Seth, he would have made Family Guy instead of The Fairly OddParents. This leads to everyone joking about how everyone was fighting to animate "Your Feminine Side" because they wanted to be the one who created Family Guy.

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