"Review Haruhi-worshippers! Your yellow-ribboned, headband-wearing goddess demands it!"
You Got HaruhiRolled!
is a Haruhi Suzumiya Crack Fic written by superstarultra on FanFiction.Net. The fic is basically what happens when you take wanton violence, character bashing, shameless parodies, major OOC-ness, randomness, foul language, sexual references and situations, and Crack Pairings, throw them in a meat grinder, and add gratuitous amounts of Rule of Funny.
Influential enough that it spawned imitators.
This Fanfic features examples of:
- Actor Allusion: In the Persona arc, Taniguchi's Persona is Mr. Kimidori, Kyon's is Alucard, Itsuki's is Lelouch...
- All Just a Dream: Subverted in the court case arc as it's directly called a daydream.
- All Love Is Unrequited: Played for Laughs in Chapter 64, which gives us one-sided Kuyou/Fujiwara, Fujiwara/Kyouko, Kyouko/Sasaki, and... Sasaki/Sasaki.
- Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?: Mikuru in the first chapter of the court case arc upon hearing she isn't as pretty as Aphrodite.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Subverted since it's a Kangaroo Court:Belome: "So now we got thievery, stupidity, assholelishness... and before I forget, that dude over there tells me you pushed him."
- Sasaki in the Death Note chapter.
- Bait-and-Switch: Haruhi accidentally stepping into traffic and dodging it successfully. She's then immediately crushed by a blimp. She got better though...
- Because You Were Nice to Me: The reason Emiri joins the Anti-SOS Brigade is because they were the only people who treated her like a friend.
- Big Brother Instinct: Kyon definitely has this, as shown in the chapter where Haruhi has a crush on his sister.
- Big Eater: Haruhi, Kuyou, and Tsuruya. The latter is implied to be able to devour at least ten times her own body weight.
- Big "NO!": In the court case arc after Haruhi's dream and in the anniversary for no reason.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall:
- In the Resident Evil parody chapter, the characters are able to hear the author's voice as the announcer.
- This happens again in the Silent Hill parody, except his words appear in blood.
- And then there are Chapter 56 and 81.
- Done quite a bit when things get pretty hectic or when the characters are annoyed.
- Brick Joke: In Chapter 15, Gilgamesh mentions that he wound up in the Haruhi universe after Ultros ripped him off, so he wandered the multiverse, vowing revenge. Sixty-seven chapters later, he finally gets the chance.
- The blood on the wall re-appears in chapter 81 after showing up in the Silent Hill arc.
- Early on, The Stinger at the end of each chapter was, "Review, Haruhi-worshippers!
Your yellow ribbon-wearing goddess demands it!" One reviewer pointed out that this was incorrect, and that Haruhi wore a headband with yellow ribbons on it, so about 50 or so chapters after this was pointed out, the writer corrected it to what you see at the top of this page.- As of Chapter 85 it's now, "Review, Haruhi-worshippers! Your goddess with the yellow headband and ribbons demands it!"
- Brother–Sister Incest: Imouto steals Kyon's phone so that he'll have no choice but to pay attention to her, instead of hang out with his friends, in Chapter 66. Her inner monologue implies that she's trying to invoke this trope.
- The Cameo: A ton of them in the court case arc, including the aforementioned Gilgamesh and Ultros, as well as Chupon, Belome, Doakes the Darknut, Phan Phan, a Skarmory with an appetite for Haruhi's pancreas, Kratos, Konata, Kagami, Tsukasa, and Miyuki, Phoenix Wright, Kino and Hermes, Emi and Hisao, and last but not least, Ryokos from alternate series and continuities.
- Chapter Fluidity: Except for the arcs, which are never more than five chapters long (out of an eighty-six chapter fic so far), the chapters could be read in any order and you wouldn't notice.
- Lampshaded in the court case arc:
Kyon: "Nagato, this is the work of a crack fic writer. Once a chapter is over, NOTHING is canon. It all resets." - Chekhov's Gun: Chapter 56 opens with Haruhi complaining to superstarultra about another fanfic he was writing at the time, The Obesity of Haruhi Suzumiya. In Chapter 81, the existence of this fic proves vital in defeating a giant cheesecake and saving the day.
- Comically Missing the Point: Phoenix asking Ryoko if the blueberry muffins were any good after she mentioned Kino "stealing" a knife she was looking at and taking a different kind of muffin (which happened to be her favorite) for free after a purchase. The author lampshades the fact that it was simply a minor detail in an already idiotic revenge story.
- Cruel Twist Ending: At the end of the Emo-ri arc, Emiri joins the Anti-SOS Brigade and it's heavily implied that this will lead to The End of the World as We Know It. And all because Kyon convinced her to be herself and to stop being emo.
- Curse Cut Short: At one point, when Fujiwara and Kyouko are behaving reasonably in-character, Fujiwara claims that Kyon wouldn't know goodness for all humanity if it bit him right in the arse. ...Or at least he would have said that, but Kyouko interrupted him before he could say the last word.
- Didn't Think This Through: Kyon in chapter 47, when he tries to decide which of the girls should be allowed to date him. ...By arranging them in order by their breast-sizes with photos he took of them when they weren't looking. They don't take it so well.
- Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: Chapter 81. A giant cheesecake starts destroying the school, and the cast tries to destroy it with no such luck. A fat AU Haruhi comes from another fic of the author's, and manages to devour the cake in two minutes.
- Disproportionate Retribution: From the Court Case arc. Long story short, Ultros is accidentally sneezed on by Haruhi and doesn't receive an "excuse me", so he sues her for plagiarism and hopes to receive money from her while Haruhi is imprisoned where her pancreas is eaten by a Skarmory daily.
- Also from that arc, there's Haruhi demanding that Imouto dies for insulting her honor and in the daydream when an original character crushes a guy's windpipe for chewing too loud.
- Doorstopper: At over 300,000 words, it is longer than the longest Harry Potter book and still incomplete. Even more amazing, most of that length is from the two most recent Story Arcs.
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Kyon's sister is always called Imouto, the Japanese word for "little sister" (though due to Rule of Funny, Imouto is often treated as being her actual name). In addition, TCCP and TSCP are short for The Computer Club President and The Student Council President, respectively.
- Even Evil Has Standards: After Haruhi utters a death threat to Imouto (after Haruhi was revealed to have been a total jerkass to her in the past):Ultros: "I kinda agree with cheese-breath here. I'm against you, and even I agree that was out of line!"
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Some of the chapter titles are like this, especially the older ones which had several stories each.
- Fate Worse than Death:
- Haruhi is threatened with having her pancreas pecked out by a Skarmory every day for months, surviving due to her god powers in the court case arc. Fortunately, this never happens.
- Faux Horrific: Chapter 59 is called "The Scariest Chapter Yet". It's the one that's a parody of 4Kids.
- Forgot Flanders Could Do That: Chapter 84 begins with Fujiwara and Kyouko actually trying to get Kyon to join them and transfer Haruhi's powers to Sasaki. After so many chapters of Fujiwara completely neglecting his mission and Kyouko being a lovestruck idiot it can be kind of shocking to see them like this. However, bits of their Flanderized characterization still appear, such as Kyouko invoking Sasaki's name as if she were a deity when she's caught by surprise.
- Freudian Slip: Hermes' "Come on me" line from the court case arc (instead of "come with me"). Justified if you know the series.
- Humans Are Cthulhu: In a Fourth-Wall breaking variation, in every chapter where superstarultra self-inserts himself into the fic, he refers to himself and his friends as demonic otherworldly creatures. From the perspective of the characters, who are fictional, this is absolutely true. They literally can't disobey him.
- Intercontinuity Crossover: Aside from the court case arc, there is also the pirate arc which crosses over with Lucky Star, and some more minor examples.
- Interspecies Romance: Fujiwara and Kuyou in the pirate arc, but not in the way you'd think.
- Let Us Never Speak of This Again: Taniguchi and Kunikida decide to do this in Chapter 31 after they learn that Itsuki is Kyonsexual.
- Made of Iron:
- The entire cast, but special mention goes to Haruhi for surviving being crushed by a blimp.
- And Kyouko for surviving getting thrown under the tracks of a trolley.
- Mirror Universe: Chapter 85 features the arrival of an Evil Counterpart to the SOS Brigade from a photonegative universe. They team up with the Anti-SOS Brigade at first, but then turn on them.
- MST3K Mantra: The characters get rather upset in-universe over idiotic plots and such. It counts as this because of the aforementioned Medium Awareness.
- Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: Belome in the court case arc. He was only doing a good job as a judge because he was dealing with complete idiots, but when Yuki asks him what hitting his gavel would look like, he does so and clears Haruhi of all charges (see Disproportionate Retribution) on the spot.
- Noodle Implements: The fetish chapter, where Haruhi has a half-finished fanfic with all the things she wants to do to Imouto involving: whipped cream, a feather-duster, chocolate sauce, scented candles, strawberries, a watermelon, a chinchilla, a golf club, and half a quart of orange sherbet. The first half of that list seems fairly normal, but somewhere around the watermelon it starts to meander into this trope.
- O.C. Stand-in: Four-Eyes, in the court case arc, is actually a minor character from the novels who was not even given a name. It's a Downplayed Trope though, in that he is no more important here than he is in canon.
- Off the Rails: Chapter 81, written one year after the fic started, is quite possibly crazier than any chapter before or since. It's even the chapter title.
- Original Character: Subverted? Double Subverted? Whatever?? in that instead of creating any for himself, the author got permission to use the OCs of other fanfic authors in the fandom. Thus, Oruki and Naru come from Meet The Suzumiyas by JonBob0008, Norio comes from Broken Mosaics by nukerjsr, Mirai is from I Am The Future, Mirai Nagato by Cha-Cha-Cheesecake, Mukuro is the creation of 7MukuroRealm7 and shows up in all of his fics, and Takeo and Asami are a pair of OCs created by Mr Wang 330 but have not yet shown up in any of his fics. Note, however, that Four-Eyes is not an example, being merely a Fan Nickname for a minor character who has no name in canon.
- The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: The Anti-SOS Brigade. Ironically, in the arc that is a parody of several pirate series, they aren't evil, but eventually join the SOS Brigade's pirate crew at the very end.
- Running Gag: Early on, Churuya and Ashakura would show up, claiming that Tsuruya and Ryoko, respectively, were their mothers. The concept hasn't been used very much recently...
- Ruthless Modern Pirates: Konata's crew in the pirate arc is this. to Haruhi's disgust.Haruhi: "Don't feel sorry for me, Mikuru. Feel sorry for Konata! She's forgotten the pirate ways of old! Has a big, fancy, mechanical ship and everything... What kind of self-respecting pirate uses torpedoes?"
- Satellite Character: Emiri. Taken up to eleven from the source material.
- Shout-Out: Chapter 27, the Anti-SOS Brigade's theme, uses Let's Fighting Love as the title theme song.
- The names of Haruhi's parents come from the well-known fanfic Meet The Suzumiyas.
- Not to mention the Shout-Out to the author's other work in Chapter 81...
- Fujiwara and Kuyou have a conversation in Ubbi Dubbi at one point.
- The third short of Chapter 84 is one big parody of Eliezer Yudkowsky's "AI-in-a-box" thought experiment.
- Itsuki's paedophile behavior is from The Abridging of Haruhi Suzumiya, as is Yuki's Scary Black Man persona (which doesn't show up as often, but still...).
- And of course, the Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series chapter(s), the Aqua Teen Hunger Force chapters, the pirate arc, the GWAR chapter, the chapter devoted to TV Tropes, and many more. In fact, if we listed all the examples we would be here all day.
- The Silent Bob: Averted with Yuki, but until recently, this (sort of) described Kuyou, who rarely spoke, and when she did, it was in underscored text.
Word of God says that she'll talk normally more often since the novel 10 preview came out.
- Sliding Scale of Comedy and Horror: Some of the chapters, such as Chapter 71, are more scary than funny. It may be relevant that, in addition to being a comedic genius, superstarultra has also written some very good horror fanfics.
- Snap Back: Occasionally. For example, at the end of the AVTT arc, Tsuruya is pissed at Mikuru and Yuki. Next chapter, everything's fine and dandy. Subverted when some incidents like this are brought up again.
- Space Whale Aesop: At the end of Emo-ri:A/N: Moral: "Always be nice to minor characters, kiddies. Otherwise, they may befriend the bad guys and help destroy the world."
- Since it's Played for Laughs like everything else in the fic, it may double as a Spoof Aesop...
- Spin-Off: Cracks in the SOS Dan. Can basically be described as jokes that were too short to be expanded into Haruhi Rolled.
- The Obesity of Haruhi Suzumiya. Originally supposed to be an arc, however the author decided to make it its own fic instead.
- You Got SasakiRolled, a one-shot that the author wrote for April Fool's Day, which contains short stories by Fujiwara, Kyouko, and Kuyou.
- Arguably all of the author's other Crack Fic for the Haruhi series could count, if a throwaway line in the anniversary chapter is any indication.
- The Obesity of Haruhi Suzumiya
- Tastes Like Feet: Belome after licking people in the court case arc. Highlights include Fujiwara tasting like "burnt asshole".
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Once Mikuru has too much booze, she goes off on a tangent on why she hates the others so much.
- The Stinger: Every single chapter ends with "Review, Haruhi-worshippers! Your yellow ribbon-wearing goddess demands it!" Beginning with Chapter 56, this was altered to the page quote.
- This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: Whenever Yuki goes into her Scary Black Man mode from the abridged series.
- Those Two Guys: Nakagawa and Sakanaka, in Chapter 75. They then get unceremoniously killed off at the end of the chapter for having little to no impact on the series' plot.
- Throw-Away Country: In Chapter 85, Ryouko proposes to kick-start the Apocalypse by nuking Sweden or Asia. Superstarultra has friends from both places.
- Title Drop: From Chapter 9:Student Council President: "It's worse than that, Kimidori! WE'VE BEEN HARUHIROLLED!"
- Twist Ending: To the Emo-ri arc. Emiri joins the Anti-SOS Brigade because, other than Kyon, they were the only ones to ever be nice to her, and with her help, the Anti-SOS Brigade manages to completely destroy everyone in the SOS Brigade except for Kyon, whom Emiri spares.
- Unsuspectingly Soused: During Chapter 68, Emiri decides to liven up a sour Ryoko at a party by lacing her drink with a special type of data-program. Moments later, she is babbling about her misfortunes and even proceeds to make out with an equally-hammered Kyon.
- Villain Episode:
- Chapter 64 focuses on the Anti-SOS Brigade. Chapter 39 focuses on Sasaki exclusively.
- Chapter 84 has three Anti-SOS Brigade-centric stories one after another.
- Villains Out Shopping: The Anti-SOS Brigade almost literally do this in the second short of Chapter 84.
- Weaksauce Weakness: Towards the end of Chapter 81, the author is causing absolute chaos, having all the characters on the ropes. He is finally defeated by a hentai doujin, which squicks him out so much that he leaves of his own accord.
