Webvideo: Vampire Reviews
is a Video Review Show
covering vampire-related movies, TV shows, books, wine, perfume - anything with a vampiric bent, presented by the Maven of the Eventide, a brooding, gothic figure possessed of the dark, romantic, hypnotic allure of the classical vampire.
Or so she'd like to imagine, anyway. Maven is really Elisa of Team NChick
indulging her Vampire Vannabe
fantasies. When she forgets to stay in character, a ditzy Valley Girl
emerges through the corsets and dark eye shadow, and any time she tries to impose her vampire fetishism outside her bedroom full of candles, roses and skulls, she gets knocked back by the real world, mostly represented by her roommate Lindsay (The Nostalgia Chick
), who is flatly unimpressed by her antics and keeps telling her to get a job and start paying her share of the rent. Also refusing to play along are Team NChick's Nella, Kyle "Oancitizen" Kallgren of Brows Held High
and occasionally Todd in the Shadows
. Also, her other roommate Dan Roth, but no-one ever remembers him.
The series began when the popularity of Twilight
prompted Elisa (Hansen, the real Elisa
) to take a deeper look at vampires in fiction. Like The Nostalgia Chick
, Vampire Reviews
takes a non-chronological approach to reviewing, interspersed with sketches for greater illustration and entertainment.
A list of episodes is found here
This web series provides examples of:
- Acceptable Targets: Classical vampires are where it's at, so she has a lot of fun bashing Twilight. Though she did release a video giving Twilight credit for, at the very least, giving a very creative version of Vampires.
- Absolute Cleavage: Maven in her Elvira costume.
- The positive Twilight review features a corset so tight that you can visually measure her breathing by her cleavage going up and down.
- Alter Ego Acting: Even in-universe, Maven is really just Elisa's character indulging her pretentious vampire fangirl side. Welshy even asked her "What facet of your character am I talking to?"
- Anti Goggles: While she still coos over the Has Two Daddies aspect of Interview With A Vampire, she firmly denies any Homoerotic Subtext other than that.
- Though this was probably a reference to the fact that Anne Rice vampires Can't Have Sex, Ever, rather than denying that the subtext is there.
- Audible Sharpness: Noted and parodied in her review of Underworld, ending with a bunny mooing.
- The Baby Trap: Referenced in her review of Interview With A Vampire, as she tells Lestat that vamping Claudia to keep Louie around was a naughty idea.
- Beauty Equals Goodness: Not looked at in great detail, but one of her theories for Seth in From Dusk Till Dawn being seen as likable despite all he's done is that, well, he looks like George Clooney.
- Berserk Button: Don't say anything good about werewolves when she's present.
- Better by a Different Name: According to her, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was more enjoyable when they took out the demons and called it Clueless.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: She can be sweet and lovable when she wants to, but she selfishly ruined the Chick's computer with a virus, has admitted to doing horrible (though mostly just very annoying) things and beats on Dan with Lindsay just because he drank some beer that didn't belong to him. She seems to be a Non-Malicious Monster example with a mix of Obliviously Evil, Skewed Priorities and Spoiled Sweet and at least some sort of conscience.
- Boyfriend in Canada: A vampire boyfriend in Canada, natch.
"Our love is pure!"
- Brainwashing for the Greater Good: But it turns out that not even hypnotic powers can get the Nostalgia Chick to stop thinking about Todd.
- Bullet Time: Parodied in her review of Blade. She brags that she just invented "garlic time".
- The Cameo: Not counting The Nostalgia Chick and her friends/boyfriend, Allison Pregler (whom the Maven claims is a werewolf), Linkara (both dressed as Franken Berry, and attracted by the fact that 30 Days of Night was a comic), and Oancitizen (to fawn over a Will Smith scrapbook). The Maven also appears in one of Welshy's videos to ask for a Cross Over. She also appears in Film Brain's review of Blade: Trinity where she reviews the movie with him... only to flee at the point where Dracula/Drake kills some goths.
- Compassionate Critic: She complains because she loves, and even that's sprinkled amidst the fangirling.
- Cross Over: Reviews the Count Chocula cereal with The Nostalgia Critic.
- Cry for the Devil: She feels sorry for Richard in From Dusk Till Dawn, thinking that hating him would be like hating a puppy because he was obviously ill and should have been institutionalized instead.
- Deadpan Snarker: Maven might be the hammiest of Elisa's characters, but still has her moments.
- Designated Hero: In-universe. She doesn't like Seline from Underworld that much because she kills nearly every guy in sight.
- Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male: Averted. Chick and Maven beating on Dan (with his face offscreen) might be seen as funny when it would be horrible the other way round, but they've been established as terrible people with issues so they can get away with it.
- Drama Queen: Goes into tears at the slightest provocation.
- Driven to Suicide: Tries staking herself rather than say nice things about Twilight, but "Damn this steel-boned corset!".
- Empathic Environment: Believing that Allison aka Lupa's name means she is a werewolf, she call her to ask about them:
Maven: Call...the she-wolf. [A distant wolf howls.]
- Epileptic Trees: She speculates that Count von Count from Sesame Street is obsessed with counting as a way to keep his thirst for blood under control.
- Everyone Has Standards: She might be a fangirl who loves a bit of Female Gaze, but in Dark Shadows she still complains about Tim Burton trying too hard to make Barnabas a woobie, failing, and counting on him still being liked simply because Johnny Depp is a hottie.
- Even the Girls Want Her: She has a girl-crush on Lily Cole.
- Fanon Discontinuity : She has firmly decided that Underworld: Rise of the Lycans never happened.
- Fanservice: You'll be seeing a lot of cleavage.
- Faux Action Girl: The complaint comes up in Maven's reviews of the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie and Underworld. In the former, she points how Buffy always has to get saved by guys. In the latter, she loses her temper over Selene fainting.
- Fluffy Fashion Feathers: Wears a feather boa in some reviews.
- Follow the Leader: She criticizes Byzantium for essentially being a gender flipped retread of Interview with the Vampire (the film of which was, perhaps not coincidentally, made by the same director).
- Fun T-Shirt: Wore loads in the Dracula 2000 review.
- Fur Against Fang: Maven and Allison have an argument like this in the former's review of Underworld (she's convinced that Allsion is actually a werewolf), with some class warfare thrown in there too.
- Genius Ditz: Fairly gullible and flighty, she's still genuinely good at analyzing the crap out of something.
- Genre Shift: She half-complains, half-praises From Dusk Till Dawn for starting out as a tense thriller and then morphing into a campy vampire gorefest.
- Gory Discretion Shot: We don't see Dan's face getting bashed in, we just see Maven and Chick beating him and the sounds of their punching.
- Happily Married: To Paw Dugan, complete with a child.
- Hipster: According to Elisa (the real one), Maven wears the clothes she does because she thinks they're cool, when really their OTT nature is supposed to be silly.
- Innocent Fanservice Girl: She doesn't realize the appeal of spy catsuits, Opera Gloves, low cut dresses and corsets.
- Ironic Echo: Critic's arrival in Monster Mash to his entrance in The Wiz two years earlier. Same con, same room, same being confused with the Nerd. Only difference being instead of happy obliviousness to the last thing, he killed a little girl for it.
- Large Ham: Deliberately done when she is in full Maven mode.
- Loser Protagonist
- Male Gaze: She's a little confused as to why Salma Hayek needed to do a sexy bikini dance when all the humans were trapped in the bar already.
- Meaningful Name: Maven means "a trusted expert in a particular field, who seeks to pass knowledge on to others." In this case, that field is vampires.
- Also Morty (her travel skull). Mort is French for dead (and the root word for words such as mortician).
- Men Are the Expendable Gender: Discussed in her Vlog of Underworld Awakening; she theorizes that the main character is supposed to be sympathetic and ass-kicking because she kills only men, and not other women.
- Ms. Fanservice: Albeit one who doesn't know that the clothes she wears are sexy.
- She also complains of the omnipresence of this regarding vampires while doing a list of female ones, stating that they're mostly only used for cleavage instead of horror.
- Nightmare Fetishist: Her obsession for vampires is why she's doing the show in the first place.
- Not a Morning Person: Being a wannabe vampire and all, she's almost totally nocturnal.
- "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: She doesn't particularly relish having to say she's serious when she notes that film!Buffy had period pains as a spidey sense.
- Of Corsets Sexy: She wears some nice corsets.
- Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: Speaks in florid Vampire Vords when she remembers to, but she can never keep it up for long. Elisa says Maven wishes she had Bidialectical Disorder.
- Orgasmically Delicious: Maven enjoys her Count Chocula cereal but doesn't go overboard. Critic, on the other hand, flutters his eyes and practically commits oral on his spoon. As you might expect, the camera focuses on him more.
- Or So I Heard: Todd said that Nu Metal fans probably moved into Fall Out Boy. Maven agrees before going "...not that I would know that".
- Perky Goth
- Pet Peeve Trope: The trope she really seems to loathe is the All-Loving Hero / Messianic Archetype.
- Pride: Rejects Linkara's offer of a crossover and tells him that she's perfectly able to review "anything about vampires, in any way" by herself. To her distress, she walks right into a challenge to review Twilight in a positive way.
- Rich Bitch/The Scrooge: She's a snob who owns diamond necklaces, pretty dresses, and Opera Gloves, but complains when the Chick demands rent money.
- Although the implication seems to be that she doesn't actually have a lot of money, she just wastes it on this stuff instead of important things. (She's still saving up for a coffin to sleep in.)
- Rule of Symbolism: Maven admits that The Moth Diaries throws every bit of symbolism into scenes they can, but they enjoy themselves so much so she didn't get annoyed with it.
- Ship Tease: Maven asks herself in “Monster Mash” why she keeps going over to Moarte's crypt.
- Show, Don't Tell: Maven’s review of Underworld praises the convoluted backstory of centuries of drama, passion, betrayal and murder, but notes it only comes up in exposition.
- The Slacker: She owes the Chick a lot of rent, but doesn't want to find a job because nothing hires at night.
- Something About a Rose: Maven holds a red rose in the Underworld review to make herself look all mysterious and cool.
- She also gives Todd a black rose in Queen of the Damned.
- Spell My Name With a "Ze": "Good eeeevening. I am ze Maven of ze Eventide, velcome."
- They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot: In-Universe, this is her assessment of Hotel Transylvania, particularly for having No Antagonist.
- Top Ten List: One of them of positive things about Twilight... which is reduced to just 4 as Elisa isn't that generous.
- She later does one with female vampires. Which limited to both one per franchise "because two would dominate" and visual media (which hurt Carmilla due to inferior adaptations).
- Transhuman: Dark Shadows gives her the power of hypnotism. It doesn't work on Chick the first time (for reasons you can guess), but it does the second until she gets hit on the head with a beer bottle.
- True Blue Femininity: Notes in her list of top female vampires, that it's refreshing to see that trope once in a while.
- Two Decades Behind: She and Todd go on that the book of Queen of the Damned, it made sense for Lestat becoming a rock star considering how the genre was in The Eighties. Not so much in 2002, especially using Nu Metal like the movie did.
- Unbuilt Trope: Discussed in her Top Ten Female Vampires list: Carmilla from The Vampire Lovers is a complex and interesting character, but the film fetishizes her status as a Lesbian Vampire, which helped lead to future female vampires being portrayed little more than murderous sex fiends.
- Uncanny Valley Make Up: If her amount of eyeshadow gets any bigger it'll have its own credit.
- Unfortunate Name: Maven means "the belly" in Danish.
- Vampires Are Sex Gods: A running theme in Maven's vampire reviews.
- Vampire Vannabe: Her entire schtick. Taken to the next level in the Vampire Wine review.
- Vampire Vords: Lapsed into and out of, but always used in her intro:
"Good eeeevenink! I am ze Maven of ze Eventide, and velcome to Vampire Reviewz! ...bleh!"
- Weak-Willed: She's incredibly gullible when it comes to what heroes (or anti-heroes) do in movies, always trying them in real life.
- Werewolf Theme Naming: Assumes this (incorrectly) about Lupa.
- What Do You Mean, It's Not Didactic?: Invoked. Maven makes good on her promise that she'll make From Dusk Till Dawn blow your mind.
- What Measure Is a Non-Human?: A big running theme of discussion in Maven's reviews. Justifiable, seeing as how she's vampire obsessed.
- Where Da White Women At?: Still carrying a torch for Blacula.
- Yuri Fan/Yaoi Fangirl: She believes Marceline and Princess Bubblegum of Adventure Time are exes, and is quite excited about Louis and Lestat's relationship dynamics in Interview with the Vampire.