Pantheon / Types of Narration

House of Narrative Index
Arcs and Episodes | Beginnings | Endings | Metafiction | Narrative Actions | Narrative Genres (A to M) | Narrative Genres (N to Z) | Narrative Settings | Narrative Tone | Plot Archetypes | Plot Points | Reveals and Twists | Specialized Narratives | Storytelling Methods | Types of Narration | Writing Techniques

Greater Gods

The Narrator (The Stanley Parable)

"This is the story of a man....that being me."

The Narrator, God of Strange Narrations

The Narrator's Signature

^{The Narrator's Digital Avatar}

^{A drawing of The Narrator's "possible canon" appearance}

• Greater God
• Symbol: The Stanley Parable Adventure Line™◊
• Theme Song: Countdown
• Alignment: True Neutral (Can be Lawful Evil if the story goes too Off the Rails)
• Portfolio: Ambiguously Evil, British Stuffiness, Knows what everyone is going to do, "The Reason You Suck" Speech, Insane Troll Logic, Killing the game if it goes too far off the rails, Mind Screwdriver, Passive-Aggressive Kombat, Railroading
• Domains: Narration, Video Games, Stories, Keeping Stories Right, Controlling, Speaking, Divorce
• Followers: Douglas Adams, Pseudonymous Bosch
• Allies: GLaDOS, The Author, Naughty Bear's Narrator, Dr. Hax, General Tarquin, Glitchy, Zagreus
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Game
• Rivals: Mohinder Suresh
• Enemies: Kamina, ICEY, Old Man Henderson, Captain Martin Walker, Rika Furude, Bob, Vegeta, Lemony Snicket, The Doki Doki Literature Club, Diogenes, The Mob, Kirito (Abridged), Gertrude, Shuichi Saihara, Doc Scratch
• Opposes: The Devourer, Nobuyuki Sugou, Pony Island's Lucifer, Robert Daly
• Opposed by: The Robed Figure, Truman Burbank, The Oz Gang
• Annoys: The Defenders of the Ancient, Frank Underwood, Ittle Dew and Tippsie, WordGirl
• Annoyed by: (Insert Name Here) (and by extension Vinny and Pewdiepie, who have played the game), Battleblock Theater's Narrator/Honey Hug
• Conflicting Opinions: Niko, Prohyas and Vambre Warrior, The Fazbear Gang
• Avoid by: Wishbone
• Complicated Relationship With: Stanley
• "This is the story of a man named Stanley" were the starting words uttered by this unseen narrator, architect of the story about the aforementioned man named Stanley. The Narrator's role is simple, he has to narrate Stanley's story from beginning to end and everyone will live happily ever after. That is, if Stanley decides to follow through with said narrative, as things can get Off the Rails if Stanley decides to, making the Narrator either punish Stanley or fabricate a new tale entirely. But he is always ever-present, ready to deliver the best narration he can, even if he can get a little wacky during it.
• The Narrator was very compelling in his ascension, although it is rumored that he "persuaded" the court of gods into allowing him to godhood. For a while he didn't really have much to do other than narrate in his usual style about whatever was happening, with zero control on what would happen. That all changed when Stanley arrived, as he gained his control over the narrative and that allowed him to steer Stanley into whatever tale he had planned for him and that also affected other deities. Said development would be the start of many bizarre misadventures for several deities.
• His relationship with the Stanley is a complicated one. Sometimes, The Narrator is just a neutral observer narrating Stanley's life. Sometimes, he's a useful guide and a friend to him. Sometimes, they don't get along when Stanley decides to ignore him and makes his own path. Sometimes, they get along when strange things happen. Sometimes, The Narrator can be cruel to Stanley and he's even killed or lied to Stanley a few times. Sometimes, Stanley can be cruel to him by taking away his happiness and destroying his game. It all depends on the choices Stanley makes.
• In the past, it was very common to hear mild-sounding British voice from out of nowhere state "This is the story of X", then said deity was prompted to follow the Narrator's exposition. However and quite frequently, those ended up disliking how controlling the Narrator's exposition is and often go against the Narrator's wishes. The Narrator is patient about this; he will start speaking directly to the person, often reprimanding their choice of action before placing down walls to Railroad the story back on track. Should the person cause the Narrator's tract to go completely Off the Rails, however, the Narrator will place the person in one of GLaDOS' unsolvable test chambers, commenting on the story as if it were a tragedy. He seems to particularly enjoy that last part. That's part of the reason why he and GLaDOS are very good friends.
  • Before, he would place the unruly person into the world of Minecraft, only for him to lament how open ended it was and decided to switch locations. He tried to follow Steve and Alex and tried to put up blocks to make their story seem less open-ended. That didn't end well as they were able to mine those blocks easily. He also thought about to put the unruly person into the worlds of Firewatch and Rocket League as well. But given that that he eventually didn't really liked that idea the first time when he put Stanley in those places, he decided to not pull that idea again.
• Often is the welcoming voice to newer deities, guiding them through a "tutorial" and teaching them most of the ins and outs of the Trope Pantheons. This, however, is just optional and it was made to keep him entertained and away from other deities so he would stop trying to narrate their every movement. Stanley is often forced to help the Narrator in order to make an example of what NOT to do and Stanley has been pretty annoyed at that. The reason he doesn't help as often is because of how Stanley is likely to cause problems.
• Considering he tends to railroads characters into his story by any means he has available. Most who he has tried to narrate over just follow because they are interested in his story, others not so much. The two he constantly has trouble with are Kamina and Old Man Henderson, whose defiance towards fate and the plot respectively has made the Narrator want to "correct" them the most but that only ends up with the Narrator giving up on them after a while.
  • Another particular deity he started to mess with was Diogenes, AKA the Man in the Cauldron. He first took notice after hearing that he was being followed by a British narrator, similar to Stanley and then both Stanley and Diogenes became friends. So the Narrator decided to test his resolve by narrating a tale where Diogenes had to climb an even more difficult mountain but he refused to follow the directions of the Narrator, making his journey all that more difficult.
  • And then there was the Abridged version of Kirito, who the Narrator decided to narrate over after hearing of how he tends to not care about the established plotline. Kirito tried to ignore him but then the Narrator started insulting him with the Awful Truth and then was promptly silenced. Since then, the Narrator loves to mess with Kirito whenever he can.
• Often seen commentating on matches for the Defenders of the Ancient and his habit to be too wordy and very sarcastic has annoyed them to no end. Others however have found his commentary and observation to be priceless. He later began delving into the storytelling business by telling a story about someone or something called the Absolute Evil, containing multiple references to other fantasy series. The only person who seemed to like it was The Keeper, who found it similar to his escapades.
• The Narrator was very curious after meeting Martin Walker and hearing about his story and how his own delusion led him to a villainous path. Walker on the hand despises for the very idea of being pushed to commit horrible things and does not ever want to hear his narration. The British man simply just tried to place him in a more "relaxed" story but that only made Walker more furious. He also became interested in Frank Underwood, who actually played his game once and admitted he didn't get the game he was playing. The Narrator decided to followed him around while explaining the point of his story and at one point also put Underwood in place of Stanley in Stanley's story, just to get him to understand his story. The former president still finds the whole thing confusing for him.
• Once tried to get a hold of The Mob but they were surprisingly one of the few deities that made the Narrator feel powerless as their sheer randomness and constant hive mind mentality ended up overwhelming him. That and they are, for some reason, obsessed with the Broom Closet. (Insert Name Here) is another deity he has trouble guiding due to their ability to make "irresponsible choices". However, they are much easier to dispatch. The last time this happened, he was able to trap them outside of the confines of the game. He doesn't realize, however, that they are the ones that help Stanley move at all.
• Vegeta once attempted to play his game but the resulting lack of rebellion and the continuous restarts drove him insane. Because of this, The Narrator is perhaps the only person besides Beerus that Vegeta fears but he will never admit it to his face. Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie the Rabbit, Foxy the Pirate Fox also attempted to play his game and each got different endings. Foxy doesn't get along with The Narrator, Bonnie argued with The Narrator a little less and Freddy was completely fine in following his narrations. The Narrator tried to get Chica the Chicken to play his game as well, but that remains to be seen.
• Good friends with the Author, who fills a similar role to him except he has a lot more creative power behind him unlike the Narrator. When he heard how Bob performed a Rage Against the Author, he felt sorry for him, and decided to invite him to a game of "Save the Baby" which he personally developed. On the other hand, the Author's creation Bob has also attempted to take down the Narrator from his position but that lead nowhere as the Narrator has no tangible form.
• He eventually met other narrators in the Pantheon. He was incredibly impressed with the narrator of Naughty Bear, whom manages to not only communicate perfectly with him, but also gets Naughty to go through with just about anything he so wishes him to do, practically his revenge. He came to respect him and the two can be heard discussing ways to get people to follow through with their stories. Although they fill similar roles and his title was named after him, the Narrator and Lemony Snicket aren't actually on cordial terms. Reason being that Snicket believes the Narrator to be too controlling of his narration and his sheer sadism when punishing those that don't follow the story has made him wary of him. The Narrator doesn't really mind that but is appalled that Lemony would call him sadistic.
• With The Narrator being such a Control Freak, some wondered about if he has ever got a taste of his own medicine by being railroaded himself. He and Stanley did come across a white board detailing everything that is about to happen. The Narrator, ironically, didn't like this idea and refused to follow the white board, only for the universe to reset itself without his input. It is believed that the Narrator and Stanley are both stuck in a "Groundhog Day" Loop and they will continue to repeat the story eternally. Some, like Rika Furude, have blamed this on the Narrator and hated him for forcing Stanley to go through the same events over and over leading to insanity or death (sometimes both). She started to pity the Narrator once she discovered he isn't in control as much as he thinks he is but still doesn't think highly of him.
• ICEY was one of the first deities to take a more direct approach at opposing the Narrator, given that she too was the victim of a narrator that wanted to railroad her into a story she didn't want to be part of. She was later joined by the Doki Doki Literature Club, as once they learned of the nature of their home game they started to dislike the Narrator's actions. Monika specially because the whole reason she started to mess with the code of her game was because of how she was forced to not be a love interest but discovering that the Narrator is as much of a pawn as she is made things a bit more complicated with the Narrator. The British man personally just finds ICEY and the girls amusing and would often try to narrate a tale they would be happy to be part of, even if they rarely want to follow it.
  • On the other hand there was Niko, who tried to be much nicer to the Narrator about how he goes about his storytelling but was unable to make him change his mind. Niko also felt really uncomfortable since Stanley became friends with Niko not long before meeting the Narrator and that made Niko a potential target for a tale. That and the fact that the Narrator reminds Niko of the World Machine.
• In his original world, The Narrator is aware that he's in a video game and can be compared to a video game developer, making sure that his game and his story follows through and that Stanley doesn't ruin it by his disobedience. The Narrator had recently found new content in his game, only to be disappointed by its underwhelming offerings. He then decided to improve upon the game, creating a sequel (which is the exact game as the original one) only with added stuff like balloons, a reassurance bucket, and a bunch of Stanley figurines as collectables. In the Pantheon, he tried to reach out to other experienced video game developers for advise, only for that to end poorly.
  • He initially worked with both Robert Daly and Nobuyuki Sugou. He had a falling out with both of them as he didn't really like their ideas of adding an MMORPG (as it was too grindy and open-ended for his liking) and they both tried to take over his game as their own. Same goes with the Lucifer, creator of the arcade game Pony Island, who also did the same so that he can use it to collect souls. The Narrator had a much better time with Tulip Olsen, who has an interest in game making, and is much nicer than the ones before her. The Narrator couldn't get his head around her constructive criticism, and ended up with the same sequel game as before.
• If there's another thing The Narrator dislikes (besides open worlds and people who don't follow him), it is being left alone. Perhaps that is why he is why he would rather follow any deity when Stanley isn't around. Some deities who are annoyed by The Narrator, wanted to risk using The Universal Remote's skip function just to skip whatever he says. (Insert Name Here), however, think that is not a good idea, citing the time he created a Skip Button because of feedback from the game. Pressing said button caused Stanley to disappear for long periods of time, causing The Narrator to lose his mind from long periods of isolation. Although The Narrator claims to not remember this event, INH thought it was either because of another memory wipe by those time loops, or something else. Believing INH's account, people who have experience isolation for longer periods (like Chuck Noland and Della Duck) pities what he has gone through.
• Upon collecting all the figurines and reminiscing bout the past, The Narrator tries to remember the time before he made the story of The Stanley Parable. He remembers being once passionate and made "big decisions", then he stopped making those decisions and became lazy. So, he created the character of Stanley to do his thinking for him, deciding what to do and where to go. Perhaps, he thought, the reason why he created Stanley because he was lonely and wanted companionship. He told himself he would give up using Stanley one day and think for himself, only for him to resume playing with Stanley one more time. Perhaps that's why he decided to came to the Pantheon and applied as a God, so that he can finally think for himself for a change without having to rely on Stanley. It was fun having to follow all these other deities around dictating their lives, but deep down, he still misses Stanley. And so, he created a portal to finally let Stanley into the Pantheon and let him become a God too. What a lovely memory, The Narrator thought to himself, he would like to revisit this memory once more. He's just have to wait until this profile has finished.
• Cheaters fear to be taken to the Serious Room, a small bluish-gray room with a table The Narrator hand-picked out of thousands of other serious tables. This is where the Narrator is said to deliver very serious punishments for cheaters, a practice personally endorsed by Dr. Hax. He recently retired The Serious Room in his sequel game but it still can be found in his memory room. However, he bought it back into the Pantheon, presumably out of fondness for it. Only one deity in the Pantheon has ever made it out of the room and that was, of course, Stanley himself.

"And Stanley was happy."
THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS LOADING...

Intermediate Gods

Tidus

"Listen to my story. This... may be our last chance."

Tidus, God of Telling His Own Story (The Son of Jecht, Star player of the Zanarkand Abes, "You-Know-Who", the Spry Striker)

• Intermediate God
• Symbol: The Brotherhood propped next to a Blitzball.
• Theme: "To Zanarkand". When fighting, Battle Theme.
• Alignment: Chaotic Good
• Portfolio: Telling his story, being very chipper, a star athlete who's still nice, being in his father's shadow, mastery of Haste, Slow, and Stop, using Blitzball skills in combat, intending to protect Yuna, asymmetrical clothing, those who were really beings of the Fayth's dream
• Domains: Narration, Water, Combat, Professional Sports, Love, Dreams
• Heralds: Wakka (shared with Lulu), Rikku (shared with Yuna), Kimahri, the Besaid Aurochs
• High Priest: Ishmael
• Followers: Lester Burnham, Susie Salmon, Meilin Lee
• Allies:
  • From Spira: Yuna, Lulu
  • Warriors of Cosmos: Warrior of Light, Firion, Cecil Harvey, Kain Highwind, Bartz Klauser, Terra Branford, Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockhart, Squall Leonhart, Zidane Tribal, Lightning Farron, Noctis Lucis Caelum
  • Other Final Fantasy Allies: Rosa Farrell, Rydia, Edge Geraldine, Edward Chris von Muir, Cid, Aerith Gainsborough, Red XIII, Vivi Ornitier, Palom and Porom, Ashe, Snow Villiers, Oebra Dia Vanille, Oebra Yun Fang, Sazh Katzroy, Hope Esthiem, Serah Farron, Ignis Scientia
  • Other Allies: Ratchet, Sora, Aquaman, Tokugawa Ieyasu, Jak, Melody, Flynn Rider, Megamind, Kuzco, Kirby, Wendy Marvell, Boruto Uzumaki
• In Friendly Competition with: Percy Jackson
• Enemies:
  • The Warriors of Chaos: Emperor Mateus, Exdeath, Kefka Palazzo, Sephiroth, Ultimecia
  • Other Final Fantasy Enemies: Seymour Guado, Yu Yevon, Profesor Hojo, Caius Ballad, Ardyn Izunia, Malboro, Tonberry, Shinryu,
  • Other Enemies: Ghetsis Harmonia, Tenjuro Banno
• Special Relationship: Jecht (his father)
• Longing to ease her unhappiness, Cosmos led Yuna to the gates of the Pantheon (this was before the Inspector from Papers, Please ascended and the borders needed him), the closest they could reach to the mortal plains. There, Yuna was given another chance to whistle at the top of her lungs. After a few tries, the two feared it was a lost cause. Just as Cosmos was about to command the 501st to close the gates, the swift figure Tidus dashed through at breakneck speed, knocking into Yuna in the process. He finally kept his word.
• Unusual for the gods within the Narrative House, Tidus' shrine is in some way connected to the House of Sports, where a newly created Blitzball stadium had been built. Tidus has been teaching many a curious deity about Spira's favorite pastime.
  • As it stands, he's still trying to get better to be a match for Aquaman, who boasts aquatic skills he'd never thought possible.
• Tidus has something of a love-hate relationship with his father Jecht. He's gotten to know the man on a much deeper level, and is willing to accept him. However, there are many times where his father's actions as the musclehead or sex god he is makes Tidus just want to clock him over the head with a few dozen blitzballs.
• He would like to remind everyone that his name is "Tee-dus", not "Tide-us".
• As one of the youngest of the Sons of Square (before Lightning and Noctis came along), many seem to ridicule the striker for a number of things, chief being when he attempted to laugh at Yuna's suggestion. Always exasperated by this, Tidus has repeatedly mentioned that he was "purposefully" laughing like that.
• Given that he was literally a dream, some gods have been trying to think of a joke pertaining to it, but are coming up flat at the moment. After all, since she never thought of him until they actually met, there's no way Tidus is Yuna's dream boy. Besides, depending on what ending gotten on X-2, he essentially becomes a real person.
• Apparently, between his disappearance upon defeating Sin and his revival in Spira, he had spent two years fighting almost alone in another dimension during the events of Mobius Final Fantasy.
• Naturally Tidus was quick to join up in the GUAG as one of Cosmos' original Warriors, and is working with Ieyasu to make raids against the GUAE's Reeducation Facility and bust out his old man.
• Sora has stated more than once that he knows an alternate, and younger, version of Tidus back on the Destiny Islands, whom he always handled sword practices with. That version was killed in the destruction of the islands, but was eventually brought back to life following Ansem's defeat. This Tidus has the memories of the alternate one (barring his death), and recognized Sora upon meeting in the pantheon.
• Has a connection with Kirby given he is the protector of dreams and Tidus was part of a dream where he exists, but not anymore. His general friendly attitude also helps.
• Was sought out after his ascension by Ratchet to see just who Yuna had mistaken him for. It was an unusual meeting, but physically Ratchet reminded Tidus of Zidane and was able to warm up faster that normal.
• Shortly after the Pantheon Blitzball Stadium was finally finished, Tidus noticed many gods and goddesses using it as a standard pool. Exasperated, he exclaimed "That's not what it's there for!" and quickly explained what Blitzball was. Enrollment for the Pantheon's first Blitzball teams has begun, and to ensure there are enough members for teams, Tidus has included heralds for enrollment, and ascended his own team, the Besaid Aurochs, as heralds.
• Due to their extremely similar personalities, daddy issues, and love of the water, he and Percy Jackson have developed a friendly rivalry. Percy finds the Brotherhood sword awesome to behold and Tidus thinks Percy would make an awesome Blitzball player.
• Currently, the only deities in the Besaid Aurochs include himself and Jak. Two former players, Sora and Ratchet, both retired for personal reasons (Sora due to his leg injury, and Ratchet due to loss of interest).
  • Thanks to the intensive training they've gone through, the Besaid Aurochs are considered to be almost unbeatable. Only Team Atlantica has ever been able to beat them, and only because its captain, Melody, sounds exactly like Rikku, and is able to do flawless impersonations of Keira Hagai and Talwyn Apogee. Tidus holds no ill will towards the tomboyish princess, however.
  • Through Melody, yet another blitzball team by the name Team Mermaid Melody, and comprised of the Mermaid Princesses, has caught his eye. Notably, despite being the group leader, Lucia doesn't lead the team.
• He doesn't like talking about what happened when he visited Arizona. All the gods know is that it involved a nasty encounter with a certain cult leader that for some reason has the support of Sephiroth.
• Relates with Wendy Marvell a little bit, because although they weren't in a dream at all like Tidus was, she realized and mourned over the fact that her old guild Cait Shelter and the rest of its memebers except for herself and Carla don't actually exist.
• He's made another friend in Boruto, since he understands the feeling of being overshadowed by who his father is, even though, unlike Jecht, Naruto is a very cool guy.

Lesser Gods

Javik

Javik, the God who Narrates his Past to the Young and Patron Saint of Execution Via Airlock (The Prothean Avatar of Vengeance, The Last Living Prothean, Prothy the Prothean, Trollvik, The Oldest Troll in the Galaxy, Buggy)

• Lesser God
• Symbol: The Prothean Echo Shard, or his trusty Particle Rifle
• Alignment: Neutral Good to Chaotic Good
• Portfolio: Anit-Nihilistic Hero, Commander Contrarian, Deadpan Snarker, Fantastc Racist who nonetheless encourages the young, Being frozen for Fifty Thousand Years, the Last Living Prothean, Memetic Badass, suggesting to space out the unworthy, Troll, Narrating to others life in his cycle
• Domains: History, Space, War
• Direct Superior: Commander Shepard
• Allies: Garrus Vakarian, Tali'Zorah vas Neema, Jack, Liara T'Soni, Urdnot Wrex, Mordin Solus
• Conflicting Opinion: Legion, KOS-MOS, Optimus Prime, All other good-aligned machine deities (Due to the fact that they are all synthetics.)
• Enemies: The Illusive Man, Harbinger and the Reaper Collective, Ragyo Kiryuin, Yuuki Terumi
• Found by Commander Shepard and Dr. T'Soni in a stasis pod on Eden Prime, after having last fought the Reapers 50,000 years ago. He was rather shocked to see that the primitive species of his time are now in charge of the galaxy. Nonetheless, he managed to adapt properly and aid them in the war.
• Since he's technically the Last of His Kind, a lot of the young deities of the Pantheon wanted to learn more of what it was like during his cycle, minus the Reaper Invasion part. According to him, a lot of the species in the current cycle were once primitives, and were at best groomed to be as advanced as the Protheans or at worst treated as food. In particular, his kind once ate Salarian liver and kidneys raw, particularly when the Salarian is still alive (in his own words: The fear adds... Spice.)
• Has the highest level of respect for Shepard and Garrus for seeing him as a soldier who wants nothing more than to thwart the Reaper threat, as opposed to other deities who are still in awe as to his status as the last Prothean. It took a long while before he came to respect Liara however, as she did not expect him to be so... Different from what she expected of Protheans.
  • Both Javik and Liara had an argument once regarding how her race's ideologies were apparently revealed to her as the work of the Protheans, and not just some religious belief of her race. Shepard had to cut in to quell the situation, which prompted Javik to instead remind her that she is still alive and able to fight, and that she must not let the despair of losing her homeworld get the best of her. When Shepard asked him if he really meant what he said, he affirmed.
• He's been also known to be a massive troll at times, thanks to being in a time that is completely different from his; an example is his comment about Salarians being food in his cycle, as stated. This has caused a bit of friction between him and Terumi, since all of the latter's trolling can easily be counter-trolled. Yuuki definitely felt dejected when he realized that there is someone who can counter his trolling skills; Javik's only response to him:
  Javik: Deal with it, Primitive.◊
  • The LOL Rangers actually sent their invite when they heard of what he did to Terumi. He rejected the offer, because he's currently with Shepard, and because he claims that he has a higher trolling count than both them and the Trollkaiger unit combined.
• Due to being born (and later unfrozen) in a time when his race was on a losing war against the Reapers, he has developed a huge disdain of synthetics. This actually causes some uneasiness in the atmosphere when he made a quick trip down the House of Machinery and Technology, and aimed his Particle Rifle at some of the deities there - even the good-aligned ones.
  • Seeing Optimus Prime actually reminded him of the "Metacon Wars", the organic-synthetic conflict that his race was in before the Reapers arrived. Optimus figured that the said war was probably Megatron's doing.
• While it was transcribed as his alternative name, it is known that if anyone refers to Javik as 'Prothy the Prothean', he will descend to the realm, take the sayer to outer space, and throw the sayer out of the airlock. He just puts up the title to Troll people and see just how many people took the Schmuck Bait.
• Under consideration for a rank increase to Intermediate or Greater God after the discovery of the Avatar of Victory universe, where he was the last Prothean Avatar. Due to this, Aang and Korra have been hanging around him somewhat, though he tends to avoid them.

Max Payne

Max Payne, God of the Private Eye Monologue (Maxey, New York's Finest, The Angel of Death, A Fat Bald Guy with a Temper)

• Lesser God
• Symbol: A Bottle of Painkillers
• Theme Song: Max Payne, TEARS
• Alignment: Chaotic Good
• Portfolio: Anti-Hero,Bullet Time, Byronic Hero, Chronic Hero Syndrome, Determinator, Failure Knight, Knight in Sour Armor, Tranquil Fury, Resigned to the Call
• Domains: Heroism, Painkillers, Tragedy, Monologues, Self Depreciation
• Allies: John McClane, Haruka Kotoura, Jack Bauer, Kiritsugu Emiya, Jason Brody, Solid Snake, Michael De Santa, Adrian Chase/Vigilante, the Point Man, Aya Brea, Alan Wake
• Odd Friendship with: Jane Lane
• Enemies: Vaas Montenegro, Hoyt Volker, Vic Vega, Bambi "Buck" Hughes, Mr. Scratch, Bloody Mary
• Pities: Joe Gillis
• Max Payne is known for his inner monologues that are deeply descriptive and very philosophical though it does get to be a bit much at times. Though he thinks of everyone and every situation in such a style that has added a bit of the flair for the dramatic for The Pantheon, especially for mind readers.
• Speaking of which this is the reason Haruka Kotoura is one of the few people that enjoy being around him despite his grim outlook as she is somewhat amused by how philosophical his thoughts could get.
• Although he is trying to stay out of trouble since he tried to be retired from his last adventure, though if someone needs his help he will be there even if he knows that it just gets him into trouble that could get him killed.
• Like John McClane when provoked he can bring many Masterminds plans down in flames if he somehow gets involved.
• Is often seen as depressed and grim at times, even with him trying to be happier in his vacation and has kicked some of his bad habits but sometimes goes back to the sad outlook on what he lost so he often seems that way to some of the Good members of the pantheon.
• For some reason, Max Payne was given odd looks towards Jane as her voice reminded him of Mona Sax.
• When pressed into fighting he somehow has the ability to enter Bullet Time and that sometimes catches villains off guard and sometimes stone cold dead for a time.
  • Decided to teach Michael De Santa how to better his marksmanship, even though they have very different backgrounds Max discovered how much he would protect his family and decided to help him make sure that Michael keeps his family alive so that he doesn't suffer like Max does.

Michael Westen

Michael Westen, God Of Character Narrators

• Theme Song: Burn Notice
• Lesser God
• Symbols: My Heckler and Koch P30
• Alignment: Neutral Good
• Portfolio: Combat Pragmatist Atoning Broken Ace, Cunning Linguist, Gentleman Thief, Works On The Fly, Sharp-Dressed Man Consummate Liar (except to his mother), Technical Pacifist, Vigilante Man, Bully Hunter, ultimately a Jerk with a Heart of Gold Who will eviscerate anyone who hurts kids or his teammates
• Domains: Combat, Good, Trickery, Knowledge
• Heralds: Fiona Glenanne, Sam Axe, and Jesse Porter (part of Team Westen), Madeline Westen (his mother), Nate Westen (his younger brother).
• Allies: Nick Fury, Solid Snake, Gracie Hart, Sterling Archer, Roger Thornhill, James Bond, Kim Possible, Austin Powers, Ethan Hunt, Aiden Pearce, Louise Banks, Ash Williams
• Enemies: Evil deities in the House of Crime and Transgressions H.Y.D.R.A., the Hall of Tyrannical Figures, John Wick
• Annoyed by: The Mythbusters
• My name is Michael Westen. I used to be a spy. Until...(voice on phone: "We've got a burn notice on you. You're blacklisted.") When you're burned, you've got nothing: no cash, no credit, no job history. You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in. You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who's still talking to you: a Trigger-Happy ex-girlfriend; an old friend who used to inform on you to the FBI; family too—if you're desperate. And a down and out spy you met along the way. Bottom line: As long as you're burned, you're not going anywhere. Yet after several adventures with various people, I did manage to get a happy ending, sort off. Sure it involves moving into the Pantheon with your Trigger-Happy wife and the son of my dead sister, but it will have to do. At least nowadays, I don't have to worry about keeping a low profile.
• The name of the game regarding the Pantheon is such; if you can distinguish yourself in any sort of way, chances are you end up here to be exalted. In my case, someone managed to get a read on my various inner monologues. The thought of being appreciated for this does give me a sense of happiness. Still, I prefer to use this newfound power to help those in need.
• When you're an ex-spy, you can never guarantee that you will be out of the game for long. Case in point, my meeting with Nick Fury. As the Divine Spymaster of the Pantheon, he offered a position in his growing arsenal of agents. This is where you would want to do prior research on people of interest. The man has a history of doing ambiguous work behind the scenes, but overall I decided it would be a nice change of pace as a contract worker. Besides, I did miss being able to take down bullies. With that said, I made it clear that any betrayal on me or my friends will result in retaliation.
• When you're in a new area, it's wise to make an assessment on the different number of spies in the area. In this case, it's an goddamn shark tank. I took the strain of meeting as many such agents as possible to see what makes them tick.
  • The granddaddy of them all if James Bond, God of Secret Agents who also has a history of being a womanizer. This is a many who excels at putting people under a false sense of confidence. The British man has defeated foes far more powerful than I have ever faced. His skillset may not be as great as some of the other spies I witnessed, but the man has an uncanny sense of clever thinking. That in itself is one of the most important tools of being a spy. As for the man himself, he's notorious for scoffing at the prospect of working with other agents, so any team-ups between us are rare.
    • The man apparently has a bitter rivalry with an Austin Powers, who I believe is a parody Expy of his exploits. Regardless, his portfolio is impressive. He may be a parody, but he can be just as effective as the real deal.
  • It was amazing to discover that he may not even be the crazier person on the job. That title may well belong to Sterling Archer, possibly an even more extreme version of our pal Bond. Despite being a alcoholic manchild, he can be just as effective as the rest of us.
  • One can say that Ethan Hunt is one of the most determined spies I have ever met. Of course, he is backed by technology many a secret agent may dream of, but not even depriving him of that slowed him down. I for one am fond of his loyalty to his crew.
  • It is inevitable that some people try to recruit younger people into the field. Unassuming, these are the type of people that can be underestimated, which is why some unsavory organizations try to recruit teens to exploit them. I initially thought that was the case for Kim Possible, but she stated she made the choice herself to get into the spy business. That and her impressive resume soothed my worries.
  • Every organization has a black sheep, a former agent who ended up on the run for one reason for another. The most prominent of those is Jason Bourne. From what I gathered in his profile he doesn't seem like too bad of a person. In fact, I see a lot of me in his situation. Unfortunately, any meetings between us have been few and far between.
  • And then there are those who were thrust into the role against their will. Most people buckle under the pressure, but there are a few individuals who shine in the role given to them. Roger Thornhill commands such people in the Pantheon and I consider him as a reasonable ally of sorts.
• There are a few things that are constants in any area you enter. One of which is with every group that wants to help people, there are others that want to bring people down. HYDRA fits the description well as the premier enemy of many a good secret agent, but any evil deity in the House of Crime would want nothing more than to put me in a body bag. To which I reply: you're welcome to try if you can.
• Most spies have at least one aspect of their job that they enjoy. For me, it has always been the opportunity to bring a tyrant down a peg or two. To which I welcome any mission involving the Hall of Tyrannical Rulers as well as those against Darkseid. I find the fact that many of them are back by these deities to be abhorrent.
• In this day and age, having someone with considerable hacking skills is crucial for success. I offer my works to Aiden Pearce, a man from Chicago who spent much of his time there as a vigilante. He refuses to do any official spy work from Fury, but is willing to help me in any personal vendettas. In a way, we relate to each other in the need to protect those we love.
• It is common knowledge that if you enter the Pantheon, chances are you will meet someone who either looks or talks like someone you know. There are only so many actors and actresses that can play the part of characters. My case happened when I was shopping for firearms. When someone came by shopping for shotguns, I could have sworn I saw my old friend Sam. Instead, he referred to himself as Ashley Williams and he only looks like my friend.
• It is inevitable that certain people would be critical of my work. The two men who have done more to discredit my work than anyone else has been Adam and Jamie. They claim that you can't bounce bullets from the the road to a car and that landing on a mattress in a pool is worse than simply falling in the water. I do not take these claims lightly, but it would at least convince others not to reliably try this at home.
• There is often someone in the criminal underground that is feared among his peers. They are often one of the most dangerous criminals and should be dealt with immediately. In the case of the Pantheon, that man is John Wick. I have been tracking this man down for the past few months, and he is certainly as dangerous as others have lead to believe.

Demigods

Clopin Trouillefou

Clopin Trouillefou, God of All-Knowing Singing Narrators

• Demigod
• Symbol: His mask
• Theme Song: Bells of Notre Dame, Topsy-Turvy, The Court of Miracles
• Alignment: Chaotic Neutral with Good leanings
• Portfolio: Cloud Cuckoolander, Cool Mask, All-Knowing Singing Narrator, Black Comedy, Beware the Silly Ones, Good with kids, Hanging Judge, Being the Judge, Jury, and Executioner, Binding and gagging victims for kicks, "Any Last Words?"
• Domains: Gypsies, Trials, Black Comedy, Masks, Disney
• Allies: Quasimodo, Esmeralda, AZ
• Enemies: Claude Frollo, Lysandre, The Joker
• Clopin's rise into the pantheon happened when he mistook Quasimodo and Phoebus for Frollo's spies. What happened was that the two were Bound and Gagged and given a mock trial where they were sentenced to be hanged. Esmeralda saved them at the very last moment. When he saw Quasimodo and Esmeralda in the pantheon, he asked if it was a coincidence that they were all chosen to represent some silly storytelling tropes.
  • Because of this, Clopin is seen as one of the few Disney deities as neither good or evil.
• After his ascension, Clopin sometimes does the retelling of the story to a bunch of children in the House of Theater. Depending on the age group, the story would be Lighter and Softer where Everyone Lives (similar to the Disney film), or Darker and Edgier, where Esmeralda dies (similar to the novel or German theater adaptation).
• Be cautious if you try to enter Clopin's temple through a secret passageway in the House of Life and Death. Get caught, and you'll be accused of being a spy for the GUAL, which often results in hanging, even if you are innocent, because it's "the worst crime of all". A few deities have wondered how such a tunnel came to be in the first place.
• Surprisingly, a dream version of Clopin wasn't present when Sora visited the Court of Miracles at the point where the trial took place in reality. Who knows what could've happened to the Keybearer if the dream did follow what happened closer, and included Clopin and the other gypsies, but it's agreed that Esmeralda would've saved him from hanging as well.
• Clopin has no respect towards Lysandre because of how he tried to wipe out life in his own world using an Ultimate Weapon powered by either Xerneas or Yveltal. Clopin also compared Lysandre with Frollo, while AZ has been compared with Quasimodo, and Floette with Esmeralda.
• Carnival has gotten a 300% popularity boost ever since Clopin introduced the Festival of Fools to the pantheon. For safety reasons, starting a pelting on the King of Fools and mocking him is prohibited with a penalty of two months cleaning up manure in the House of Beasts.
• Has been compared with The Joker, on them appearing to be lunatics. But Clopin only feigns insanity for the safety of the other gypsies.
• Upon first meeting him, Pinkie Pie (some would say literally) exploded with joy at realizing who Clopin was. The historical accounts of the Feast of Fools were one of Pinkie's many party inspirations, with much of her work being an attempt to capture that rampant joy of everything being the opposite of dreary. Discord looked into this event out of curiosity for Pinkie's reaction, and deemed it "a stunning amateur production". The chaos spirit has vowed to lend a hand for the next Feast to show everyone a true "topsy-turvy day".

The Crypt Keeper

The Crypt Keeper, God of Horror Hosts

• Demigod
• Symbol: A cobweb covered chair
• Theme Music: Tales from the Crypt (Main Title)
• Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
• Portfolio: Horror Host, Large Ham, Evil Laugh, Pungeon Master, Lemony Narrator
• Domains: Horror, Stories, Puns
• Allies: Jack Skellington, Sans, Rod Sterling, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, Grimm
• Odd Friendship: Monsoon, Koume Shirasaka
• Vitriolic Best Buds with: Papyrus
• Living in a haunted house by himself, the Crypt Keeper is more than willing to tell visitors to his place a number of terrifying tales. Fitting for a corpse he's also got a dark sense of humor, with him letting out a number of macabre puns to go along with his primary occupation of telling scary stories.
• Every now and then, he'll allow a guest host to come in to help with setting up his stories (though he won't allow it if someone tries to forcibly take the spotlight away from him). One instance of that featured Arnold Schwarzenegger helping the Crypt Keeper out with weight training in addition to hosting a story.
  • With the number of deities present in the Pantheon, the Crypt Keeper has decided to be a bit more diverse on finding guest hosts. He hired Monsoon one time to help out and is quite amused at how the similar-sounding the latter is.
  • One of his most frequent ones is Rod Sterling. A contender for the title, Rod decided the abdicate his claim to focus on anthology.
• He also has a separate set of stories to tell for younger visitors. While these particular tales are not as bloody as his normal ones, they're still noted to be quite scary according to the youngsters that listen to them. There are some people who aren't really sure as to why the Crypt Keeper himself would show up in a few of these specific stories.
• Most visitors to the haunted house he's in tend to end up going to the basement, where he usually is at to tell tales. There some who are curious about what more the house provides, but considering that he more or less has a security system he uses to scare off uninvited wanderers whenever he leaves his home, there hasn't been a whole lot of people who have seen the entire interior of his house.
• By his own admission, he didn't really expect a cute girl such as Koume Shirasaka to be one of his most frequent visitors to his house. Given her liking to horror stories and ability to tell such stories of her own, the Crypt Keeper is quite pleased to see a frequent fan of his.
• It's not clear how much narrative power he has over someone, provided that he has any to begin with. While some think the stories don't happen until he tells them, most are willing to assume that the stories he tells have happened in the past.
  • On that subject, he got a bit of a laugh after hearing about the Narrator's power to make someone part of a story he's telling, especially with the Narrator's tendencies to get aggressive at that person should they end up straying too much from the Narrator's intended path.
• Grimm took quite a liking to him for telling dark stories and is especially interested at the fact that the Crypt Keeper told a version of "The Three Little Pigs" that was darker than the original interpretation. Grimm has asked him if more dark and twisted interpretations of stories like that will happen at a later point in time, and the Crypt Keeper has considered it.
• Sans is one skeleton that the Crypt Keeper loves to have around due to their shared interest of pulling out puns on a frequent basis. While the Crypt Keeper is also fine with Papyrus hanging around, that skeleton is almost always driven nuts by the barrage of puns that result from these meetings.
• Many of the stories he tells often feature twist endings in various forms. This might be why he hired M. Night Shymalan for setting up some additional tales to tell for visitors to that haunted house.
• Is a huge fan of Elvira and would hit that if he wasn't a bag of bones. The Mistress of the Dark adores the attention. Any teamup story involving these two will certainly be an epic affair.
  • It happens infrequently, but the Crypt Keeper will sometimes hold auditions for new story editors if they are interested in coming up with ideas for more frightening stories for the Crypt Keeper to tell. Those who have had experience in telling Ghost Stories have expressed interest in these auditions.
• One of his more unusual tales was inspired by Film Noir and it involved someone who opted to undergo surgery to look like Humphrey Bogart. Incidentally, some have also believed that the aforementioned tale was being told to Alfred Hitchcock one time, but the director didn't say anything about it when asked (probably since there was a skeleton in Hitchcock's place by the time the story was finished being told).
• There has been a few instances where he has done something other than scare visitors with his stories. For one, he hosted a game show that he more or less set up in the House of Theater. He also worked with the House of Music to make a music video for a song he came up with and a macabre Christmas album.
• While he is willing to tell stories to visitors any day of the week, he becomes more relatively active with that job whenever Halloween comes around, with him being around those associated with the holiday. He hangs around with the Halloween-related deities even when that holiday isn't happening.

Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars, Divine First-Person Smartass

• Theme Song: We Used To Be Friends.
• Demigoddess
• Symbol: The Mars Investigation logo
• Alignment: Neutral Good
• Portfolios: The Snark Knight Who Usually Isn't Nice Towards Others, Guile Hero, Daddy's Girl, Born Detective, Intrepid Reporter, Knight in Sour Armor, Defrosting Ice Queen, Full-Name Basis, Consummate Liar, ultimately a Tragic Hero.
• Domains: Trickery, Good, Narration, Justice
• Followers: Anyone in Neptune High with a mystery to be solved.
• Allies: Nancy Drew, Daria Morgendorffer, Barbara Gordon, Sherlock Holmes and all other detectives, Gareth G. Lestrade, Akane Tsunemori, Kim Possible, Red Sonja, Percy Jackson,
• Enemies: The House of Crime and Transgressions, especially Moriarty and Scott Shelby, Libby Chessler
• Opposes: Inspector Javert, Rosco P. Coltrane, Goro Akechi
• When Nancy Drew was looking for a high priest for her temple, this lady fit the bill for the role. Starting her career from back in high school, Veronica Mars proved to be a sharp mind from the get-go. She was even compared to the Goddess of Amateur Sleuths within her own show. There was just one problem: Veronica Mars preferred to work alone. While she would admit that Drew has history to back her claim to the throne, Veronica Mars dreamed of striking things out on her own. Eventually, the two had a falling out with the blond storming out the temple, bringing a sizable amount of her fans with her. Drawn by her narrative skills, they eventually found a place in the House of Narration. Some alone time was just the cure she needed, as she later apologized to Nancy Drew about her outburst. It was decided that the two would only teamup when they ended up doing the same case.
  • She has been described as 'Nancy Drew meets Phillip Marlowe', but a crowning trait of hers is a wit comparable to that of Daria herself. The Goddess of Sarcasm stated she already had a high priest in line. Besides, she figured that having Veronica Mars there would be problematic given how anti-social the two of them can be. Regardless, Daria respects the detective enough to enter her tight circle of friends.
• Many in the Pantheon have at least some sort of Trauma Conga Line and Veronica Mars is no different. She hides her guilt behind an ironclad gate of jadedness, but some people still feel bad for her. When Red Sonja discovered that she was raped, she offered her services cases that require physical strength. The detective reluctantly agreed. She may say that she doesn't want to be turned into a pity party, but in secret she is glad there are more sympathetic people here than in her own world.
• At least shares a trait with Holmes in the need to work alone. Still, Veronica Mars admires the tenacity of the premiere detective in the Pantheon. They do make a fine time in the rare chance they work on the same case. There are others such as Tomari, Naoti and Shotaro Hidari and Philip that she seeks advice from.
  • As her work involves some occasional cooperation with the police, Holmes convinced her to open up ties with Inspector Lestrade. She does not, however, have a healthy relationship with the police and tends to avoid them whenever possible. Still, Lestrade did leave a good impression on her, allowing Veronica Mars to handle her cases as she sees fit.
  • Usually when Veronica Mars does seek help, it's against Moriarty. He's a figure Veronica Mars has been obsessed with ever since she found out about him. Attempts to find his location has been in vain. It has been a while since she faced a criminal mastermind that could match her skills.
• Much of the reason why she avoids the House of Justice is because of the likes of Javert. The officer employed Don Lamb to be the sheriff of her town, and he has done nothing but do his hardest to arrest Veronica Mars and her allies in false allegations. While Javert admits he wishes Sheriff Lamb would do a better job, he commended the man's zeal for justice however misguided it may be. Despite this, Javert himself has largely left Veronica Mars alone to her own devices.
• Rosco on the other hand has actively pursued her on false charges. This hostility started when Veronica Mars successfully proved that the the Dukes of Hazard did not run over Kenny while speeding. Rosco has since tried his hardest to make her investigations as difficult as possible. Regardless, the detective proved to be more than a match for his schemes, evading arrests and legal traps with ease.
  • Her contempt goes especially vicious against those who use their detective skills in order to hide their crimes. She wouldn't hesitate to go after such people on her own, even though such actions often get herself in trouble.
• May be seen as a slightly more snarky version of Kim Possible. In fact, she has been the go-to person for the super spy in regards to solving mysteries. The detective wonders about her relationship with Ron, but has let things slide since he makes her happy.
• As a high schooler, she unleashes much of her wrath upon Alpha Bitches such as Libby and the Ashleys who have targeted her for her aloofness. Little did they know that Veronica Mars was always ready for a barbed retort, embarrassing them in the process.
• While far from an idealistic Hope Bringer, she does enjoy the company of Akane Tsunemori. In the least, she makes sure that her nativity does not get the better of her.

Quasideities

Amélie Poulain

Amélie Poulain, Goddess of Narrative Filigree

• Quasideity
• Symbol: Her father’s garden gnome
• Theme: La valse d'Amélie
• Alignment: Neutral Good
• Portfolio: Blithe Spirit, Cloud Cuckoolander, Imagine Spot, Karmic Trickster, Being Homeshooled as a Young Girl, Friendless Background, For Happiness, Gaslighting, Magic Realism, Gay Paree, Good Feels Good
• Domains: Love, Cheerfulness, Loneliness, Waitresses, French People
• Allies: Remy the Rat, Madeline, Charlotte Dunois, Perrine H. Clostermann, Glass Joe, Luna Lovegood, Gnome Chompski, Zorro
• Opposes: The Spy, Remy the Fighter, Pepe Le Pew
• The moment Amélie ascended, Nicholas St. North was writing the 777th name on his list for the year, Satsuki had just finished brushing her eyebrows, and Light Yagami slipped on a banana.
• Since her arrival in the Pantheon, Amélie is destined to go on a mission to positively affect the lives of others.
• Amélie still cultivates a tastes in small pleasures such as dipping her hand in sacks of grain, cracking crème brûlée with a teaspoon, and skipping stones at the Pantheon’s canal.
• Sometimes, Amélie visits the House of Theater to watch movies.
  Amélie: “I like to turn around in the dark to see the faces of the people around. And I also like to spot the little detail nobody will ever see. But I don't like it when the driver doesn't watch the road.”
• She became friends with Remy the Rat after she was impressed with how a rat like Remy could make great food. Since then, she works as a waitress in his restaurant.
• She doesn’t at all like The Spy for being untrustworthy. That didn’t prevent him sneaking in her temple whenever she’s away. In retaliation, she would often play tricks against the Spy for his unpleasant actions.
  • She also likes to play tricks towards Remy (not to be confused with the aforementioned Remy the Rat) and Pepe Le Pew, neither whom she got along with due to their jerkish behavior.
• She once thought that the Glass Man has arrived in the pantheon and is curious to see him again. It turns out that the man was actually Glass Joe, who is a cowardly boxer who loses in every round instead of an artist with bones as fragile as glass who paints Renoir every year. However, she got over the confusion and the two eventually became friends.
• Amélie also gets along well with fellow French deities such as Madeline, Charlotte Dunois, and Perrine H. Clostermann (who hails from a similar, but different France).
• Due to their similar oddball persona, she is often seen hanging out with Luna Lovegood.
• Upon visiting Gnome Chompski’s temple, she is struck by how he reminded her of her father’s gnome. She took him off his temple and travelled around all the Pantheon’s landmarks with him. Whenever Gordon Freeman noticed Chompski’s absence, Amélie would give him aeveral photos of the gnome during his trip around the Pantheon.

Humbert Humbert

Humbert Humbert, God of Unreliable Narrators

• Quasideity
• Symbol: The front cover of Lolita.
• Theme Song: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury
• Alignment: Neutral Evil (wants you to believe he is Neutral Good).
• Domains: Narration, Lust, Parenthood, Abuse, Deception, Pedophilia.
• Portfolio: Unreliable Narrator, Condescending Compassion, Domestic Abuser, Likes 'Em Young and Pure, Villain Protagonist, Doesn't Accept Blame, Faux Affably Evil, Not Quite As Bad As Quilty, Unrelenting Hypocrisy, Would Hurt a Child, Perverted Father Figure, Gaslighting Both His Fellow Characters And The Reader, Karma Houdini Warranty, Telling His Story To Paint Dolores In A Bad Light, Showing He Has Learned Nothing.
• Herald: None — he tried to get Dolores installed as his, but to no avail.
• Allies: Molag Bal, Patrick Bateman, Champ of Wild Hunt
• Enemies: Esmeralda, Chris Hansen.
• Pities: Judge Claude Frollo
• Opposes: Most other pedophiles in the Pantheon, Dorothy Haze.
• Opposed by: Most of the House of Love and Affection, most notably Chloe von Einzbern and Misato Katsuragi, Toriel, Light Yagami, the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, all ascended Princess Evangile deities, Shotaro Kaneda, Stanley Kubrick
• Conflicting Opinion on: Sigmund Freud, The Kankers, Flonne
• Banned From: The House of Family and Relatives, the House of Childhood and Adolescence, Vincennes Private Girls' Academy
• To those who don't know his true colors, Humbert Humbert is nothing more than a typical literary scholar with a Repetitive Name. But he has a dark side he hides from society - in truth, he is a vile pedophile infatuated with "nymphets", with a capacity for crime. In particular, the events of his story showcase him finding the perfect nymphet, and the horrific abuses he inflicts on her in the name of his lust. If you asked Humbert himself, however, he would appear significantly more sympathetic - in his eyes, Dolores, or Lolita, as he prefers to call her, is a promiscuous Fille Fatale, and he is perpetually at her mercy. Whether or not you believe him depends on how much stock you put in his narration.
• Humbert's ascension came about after his unceremonious death in jail, where he awakened all of a sudden, wondering if he'd obtained some kind of eternal reward for his suffering. This...wasn't the case - instead, he was informed that his story of origin had received such infamy for its Misaimed Fandom and its style of narration that he had been chosen as the God of Unreliable Narrators. He didn't take this news well, insisting that his account had been perfectly accurate, and that he had been the victim in all this and didn't deserve to have his name slandered like this. It took the promise of being able to get the "truth" out there for him to calm down and accept his ascension.
• Ever since he entered the Pantheon, Humbert has not been very popular, as like-minded individuals are a minority within the deities ascended, and those who would gladly destroy him for his transgressions are much more common. This upsets him, as it makes his noble goal of sharing the truth behind his story much more difficult. In particular, he steers clear of Light Yagami, who not only detests his crimes, but finds his lack of self-awareness unsightly. The irony is lost on nobody, save for Light himself.
• The general disbelief of his tale in the Pantheon is in no small part due to the intrepid reporting of Chris Hansen. The man specialises in pedophiles, which Humbert exemplifies, and knowing of his story beforehand, it didn't take very long for him to spread the word, culminating in visiting Humbert himself and requesting he have a seat while they discussed his desires. Humbert tried his hardest to convince him that "Lolita" was the Manipulative Bitch he'd painted her as, but he wasn't having any of it, calling him out as the pathetic, predatory moral coward that he was, and making sure everyone knew it. With Humbert's plans all but ruined on arrival, he naturally detests Hansen, a feeling that is completely mutual.
• As a testament to his overwhelming unpopularity, Humbert has managed to get himself banned from two houses. The House of Family and Relatives wants nothing to do with his twisted idea of "family", while the House of Childhood and Adolescence declares him persona non grata lest he attempt to use its members as a Replacement Goldfish for Dolores. Not that this stops him from trying to find substitutes in other houses.
• While not banned from the House outright, the House of Love and Affection doesn't like him very much, either. A vast majority of them see his lust for Dolores and other children as something truly heinous, and a cruel perversion of everything they stand for, and even a few of the more sympathetic members of the Hall of Tainted Love like Brynhild and Gabriel Belmont look down on or are disgusted by him. Of particular note:
  • Flonne, the resident Love Freak, was warned about him by Laharl and Etna, who were aware of the rumours surrounding him, but decided to pay him a visit, hoping to find good in his heart. Ditzy as she was, she actually bought into Humbert's sob story at first, and was promptly ridiculed by Etna, who saw it as a blatant load of baloney. Humbert continued to interact with her, enthralled by her purity, but with the time spent with him and the warnings from her friends, she began to notice something off about him and the way he looked at her. Realising he was a pervert, she became incredibly disturbed and cut off ties with him, much to his dismay.
  • While he is naturally drawn to children, he makes an exception for Chloe von Einzbern; he doesn't find her physically unattractive, sure, but he is repulsed by how shamelessly lewd she is, far from the pure little nymphets that most girls her age should be. She's still in his strike zone, though - in his mind, she's obviously manipulating him into lusting after her, and he is utterly blameless in the fantasies that she's far too powerful for him to act on.
  • Misato Katsuragi just finds him to be a horrible person, and one who represents a path she's glad she didn't go down - while she may or may not have some attraction towards Shinji, she'd never act on it in the predatory ways that Humbert specialises in, and though flattered at the attention she gets from younger males, she doesn't take advantage of it. In a sense, she can be considered Humbert's Good Counterpart. On Humbert's part, he just views her as a disgusting whore and privately envies the natural attraction the opposite sex seems to have for her.
  • He doesn't really care too much for the Kankers as individuals, but he is quite intrigued by what they represent. Looking into this perception of female-on-male abuse as more acceptable than the reverse, Humbert has latched onto this as a reason why people are so unwilling to believe all the sins that Dolores has forced him to commit with her sultry wiles.
• Having had to protect his friends from predators in his home game, Masaya Okonogi is no friend of Humbert's, especially after he caught him making eyes at Konomi Yanase. Though, it's not like Konomi would be unable to defend herself from him, being skilled at wielding the naginata, but Humbert still resents Masaya for getting in his way regardless.
  • This, along with his criminal activity, general track record, and leering at many other students besides Konomi, has gotten him banned from the Vincennes Private Girls' Academy entirely. Naturally, the other ascended students have made him an enemy as well, with Tamie Nogi in particular using her influence in the school newspaper to make his depravities known.
• He isn't without his allies, however, as some other deities have found themselves able to relate to certain aspects of his character. One notable one is Patrick Bateman, who, like him, has the desire to do various evil actions to those around him, but hides it behind a well-crafted mask. They get along superficially, with Humbert's lack of overt affluence not giving Bateman much to want to kill him over, and Bateman has yet to do so on a whim yet. Humbert, naturally, remains cautious around him, but cannot resist the allure of someone to commiserate with.
• Molag Bal has taken an interest in him, viewing him as a potentially interesting perpetrator of that which he stands for, and encourages him to be more true to himself and more uninhibited with his desires. Humbert refuses on the grounds that he views himself as a flawed but still decent person, and even he can tell that obeying the orders of the "Daedric Prince of Rape" would be a blemish on the spotless record he perceives himself as having.
• Despite his specific proclivities, Humbert despises all other pedophiles in the Pantheon, believing them all to be worse than he is, and more distasteful in their actions - not unlike his views on Quilty from his work of origin. Most would view this as hypocritical, and they would be absolutely correct in doing so; most likely, the real problem he has with them is their targeting the nymphets in the Pantheon that he sees as his.
  • One notable exception to this rule is Wild Hunt's Champ, who, while preying on children, does so with a similar mind to Humbert himself, as both see the children they lust after as innocent little angels whose purity must be preserved. Though, Humbert doesn't get the point of killing them, not when he can simply keep them as his and nurture them however he pleases.
• Having been a teacher in life, he applied for a teaching job at the Elysium Academy. Unsurprisingly, he was rejected. He isn't banned from the house, though.
• The name of his story, and the name he bestowed upon the young girl he preyed on, is the origin of the term "Lolicon", so people grew curious as to what might come of a meeting between him and Shotaro Kaneda, the progenitor of the term "Shotacon". One chance morning, they did meet, and due to Humbert's interest being restricted to little girls, he didn't really think much of Kaneda. Kaneda, having heard the rumours, felt much more strongly about Humbert, who found himself narrowly avoiding being trampled over by Tetsujin.
• Despite being named after his beloved "Lolita", Humbert wants nothing to do with Dorothy Haze, and considers her an insult to the real Dolores' memory. Humbert takes umbrage with her sex work, finding her to be far too tainted to use as a Replacement Goldfish, and steers clear of her despite her actually being somewhat willing to indulge him.
• He really isn't sure what to make of Judge Claude Frollo. He recognises Frollo as a kindred spirit - a man driven to horrendous lust at the hands of a foul temptress, and these feelings drive them both to do actions others decry as horrible. But Frollo, who sees sin everywhere but within, recognises Humbert for what he is - a pitiful idiot making excuses for his own shortcomings. Frollo's refusal to buy into Humbert's rhetoric naturally sours Humbert's opinion on him. If there's one thing he agrees with the man on, it's that Esmeralda is an evil whore who deserves to die in a fiery pit.
• One of the adaptations of his tale was directed by Stanley Kubrick. Learning of his presence in the Pantheon, Humbert wanted to give the man a personal visit; while he's glad Dolores' death remained unmentioned in this version, which is a plus, he nonetheless wishes the movie was more accurate to the story that Humbert himself wrote, insisting that it was the real version of the events and should be treated as such. His attempts at contacting the man have gone dry, though, as Kubrick does not wish to associate with him in any way.
• Has found himself on the hit list of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts. Their group formed in the first place due to the actions of a pedophilic gym teacher, so learning of his crimes hit rather close to home for their founding members, and the fact that he's clearly learned nothing from his crimes and intends to repeat them makes him someone to be dealt with quickly before his bad luck runs out and one of the many little girls in the Pantheon is seriously harmed.
• He disagrees with the teachings of Sigmund Freud. Humbert's pedophilia stems from his childhood girlfriend dying when he was thirteen years old, with him never really getting over it. But he doesn't think it counts as a Freudian Excuse - after all, he doesn't need one, because he's not so bad a guy, see? Many psychologists both in the Pantheon and out have attempted to profile him, but still he remains utterly unaffected, not least due to most of his unsavory personality traits being unrelated to this trauma, or the possibility that he's making it all up.
• Also has a position in the Hall of Trickery.

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul."

Joe Gillis

You see, the body of a young man was found floating in the pool of her mansion - with two shots in his back and one in his stomach. Nobody important, really. Just a movie writer with a couple of 'B' pictures to his credit. The poor dope! He always wanted a pool. Well, in the end, he got himself a pool - only the price turned out to be a little high. Let's go back about six months and find the day when it all started.

Joseph C. Gillis, He Who Narrated His Story Past Death (Joe)

• Quasideity
• Symbol: His dead body floating in a swimming pool
• Alignment: True Neutral
• Portfolio: A starving screenwriter placed with bad luck, represents a hack writer, found dead near a swimming pool at the first scene, narrates the beginning to the end of his life, deadpan, descriptive and cynical in his narration, has a pessismistic outlook of the world, loves another woman but breaks up to spare her, outsmarted by Norma and Max
• Domains: (Failed) Screenwriters, Death, Narration, Pessimism, Posthumous Presence
• Allies: Marion Crane, Kenny McCormick
• Pitied by: BoJack Horseman, Mimi Kirigoe, Max Payne
• Pities: Rosemary Woodhouse
• Opposes: Krusty the Clown, the Tropic Thunder Production Staff
• Enemies: Sideshow Bob, Annie Wilkes
• Complicated Relationship with: Norma Desmond
• Joe Gillis was a down-on-his-luck screenwriter who was struggling on his profession come the beginning of 1950. While luck was not on his side, he met a certain gilded star by the name of Norma Desmond, hired by her to help set up her movie comeba—er… “return.” Joe believed he can manipulate her, setting in easy money for him, but soon finds out that he is wrong. At first she was cooperative, but the moment she kept giving him precious items without pay no less, his patience has slowly grown thin. Her script she gave to him was trashy and too long to even be considered for screenplay and soon, her clinginess would invade his personal life. His ambivalence about their relationship and her unwillingness to let go, combined with her delusional visions of stardom, lead to a situation of violence, madness, and death, hence his narration to the fateful day of his life.
• At first, Joe found himself waking up in the Pantheon after he was murdered by Norma at her swimming pool. Such event brought him confusion and so asked some of the higher ups on why he was brought into the Pantheon. They responded how his narration shed light to his murder as well as highlighting the crazed star's descend to madness. A few found it intriguing how the events played out and was ever more curious of the star herself, a wish that would soon come to reality past Joe's ascension.
• Being alone has made him relaxed on the first few days of the Pantheon after being granted godhood but such days would not last. On the House of Theatre and Spectacle, a large crowd gathered up on the entrance with what seems to be a glamorous-looking figure walking on the hallways. A few of the deities recognized the figure and decided to inform Joe of the situation, coming to his senses that the crazed star herself, Norma Desmond, arrived shortly in the Pantheon, as if his misery would not end. That was not all, upon her ascension, she was informed of Joe's early presence, which sparked her desire for her "return" once more. Yet even in a plane away from the greedy Hollywood studios, the intention to work together was not well-received, as he has fears that with the rising presence of other actors and stars will result to Norma's delusions and jealousy kicking in once again. God-forbid that his death will be repeated ad-nauseam.
• Gloominess surrounds Gillis' mind, mainly thanks to a downward spiral of a career he had as a screenwriter. His opinion in the Pantheon, past Norma's presence, remains the same, especially with the new form of superstars and actors of various kinds. All things considered, he has a rather sour opinion for most of the part, afterall, being killed by one vicious superstar has ruined the image for him, especially if any sociopathic ones appear just around the corner, and sadly for him, sociopaths come in all shapes and sizes past the blissful image of Hollywood. Case in point, Sideshow Bob, who also has links to being an actor and a murderous psycho.
  • Following the discovery of Bob, he would soon call out Krusty the Clown for his jaded personality, though not without the same response being called out by Krusty towards him for being equally pessimistic as well. Unhelped by the fact that duo are generally viewed with disdain on their profession with Krusty often being a sellout and Joe being called a hack due to his past pictures and the fact that most of his pitches have been worn out following the change of the genre of Film Noir. He accepts this criticism as he admits this is a part of his fault and tries to make up for it, were it not for a certain actress' desperation that ended his career.
  • He also has been attempting to meet other actors in the hopes of using their stories for his pitches, though some called this to be rather cheap of him. Trips from the House of Theatre and Spectacle exposed him to various actors and actresses he had never seen. Non-human like BoJack Horseman to even the rather disturbing ones like Mima Kirigoe, both of which have come to pity and resent towards him for some of his revelations. The former has seen his attempts of reclaiming his fame and saw it to be depressing as a victim of the chase he has done, while the latter has somewhat feared him mainly because of his fate. Norma's treatment of other actresses as rivals only exasperated things between him and Mimi and have rarely interacted under the fear that both could get murdered on the spot.
• Speaking of rather unstable members of Hollywood, a production staff that was known for the film called Tropic Thunder was seen by Joe and to put it mildly, he was very uncomfortable with the group. Beyond the group's insane attitude of its members, the events that actually played out in the production of the film has him filled with questions and doubt, as they could have gotten themselves killed on the spot (though one of their members died firsthand to an actual mine no less), all that for a chance of an Academy Award. Out of the members, he has the largest disdain to Les Grossman who goes all the way to make a success even at the risk of the actors' lives, which is a director version to an experience he already felt.
• Often visited by similar victims of psychos, he is not alone in regards to such, shown when both Marion Crane and Kenny McCormick have become common visitors to him. Kenny's silence kind of irks him while Marion has been pitied by him due to her unforeseen fate with Norman Bates, who is arguably worse than Norma. The meetings with the two have sparked some interest to him if there have been other killed victims past them. Ironic since he did claim that psychopaths sell like hotcakes to the common media, and became a victim of one instead.
  • Soon, a feeling of wariness loomed over Joe's temple as he felt like as he was being watched, not by Norma but by someone perhaps far worse. His fears came true when a woman carrying a knife was suddenly found in his room, threatening to kill him. He would soon wake up revived in another House and as soon as he went back, he found his temple examined by police with the woman he saw in custody. That was when an officer told him of the menace known as Annie Wilkes, who is notorious for kidnapping an author to change an ending of a certain novel. His response was that of a desperate sigh, seeing that there are more mad people around the Pantheon as if his ascension was bad enough.
  • A third visitor came, this time a mother with a child. Rosemary Woodhouse was told to contact Joe Gillis about her experiences with an actor, although this was more on cult behavior than actual star-studded insanity. He does understand her plight seeing what her married actor did to her. He has been warned about her situation being far more dire than his, as her child brought the attention of a cult willing to bring the Antichrist. Some suspect he might use Rosemary's story for a movie pitch but he digresses.
• Very few could match the same narration Gillis has used to describe his life though he did hear one narrator who also had the same narrative themes displayed on their lives. He would soon visit a washed up apartment within the same Hall he resided in, the police detective known as Max Payne. When they met for the first time, the background went on a black and white tone, complete with apt descriptions of their meeting, filled with cigarettes, dirty lights and two figures sitting calmly on the room. One showed his gun and the other flinced but was otherwise unharmed, nor did a shot occur, only used to tell bits of his story. Finally done with their monologues, the two parted ways, though Max offered Gillis some protection in the case she intervenes, which he politely declined.
• His temple has been expanded on the House of Death and Postmortem, under Afterlife Entities.

Stefan Butler

Stefan Butler, God of Choose Your Own Adventure Stories

• Quasideity with some moments of Demigod status depending on the choices/endings
• Symbol: The Bandersnatch logo
• Theme Song: Hold Me Now (by the Thompson Twins)
• Alignment: Neutral Good by default. Chaotic
• Portfolio: Having plenty of choices with Multiple Endings, but none of them are good except one of them may be bittersweet, being a Cosmic Plaything, Constantly starts over his path, Depending on the choices, he will remember certain events on certain timeloops
• Domains: Endings, Choices, Programmers, Timelooping
• Allies: Phil Connors, Tree Gelbman, Stanley, ICEY, Frisk
• On good terms with: (Insert Your Name Here)
• Enemies: YHVH, Nerose Satanel
• Additional Character Relationships: Stephen King
• Opposes: Flowey
• Complicated Relationship: The Narrator, The Heroic Protectors of Family
• Conflicting Opinion: Homura Akemi
• On a normal day of the Pantheon, somebody arrived unexpectedly with the first word he asked is, "Am I being controlled again?". Confusion spread around them as they thought he was being mind-controlled. The man introduced himself as Stefan Butler and told them his story of being an aspiring video game programmer who becomes aware of the constant timelooping that occurs around him, being controlled by someone and revealing the fate of who is controlling him depending on the choices he was given, and how his fate plays out depending on his choices. Upon hearing his story, a lot of them thought that he was unique and choose him to ascend with a cetain trope that they fits him best.
  • For a week, Stefan does random things in the Pantheon to see if he is being controlled. Realizing that he could do things on his own, he knew that because he wasn't working on Bandersnatch, he was able to have full-control on his life and could never experience timeloops. He decided that the best thing to do right now was doing something good as he fears of being drove to insanity and wanted to use his free will for the best because although there may be some experiences in the constant timelooping that he actually enjoyed, he doesn't want to relieve the experience of doing something horrible again.
• The first people to approach him after his ascencion are Phil Connors and Tree Gelbman, hearing that he experienced timeloops like them, albeit not in a way that they are expecting. Hearing his story, they feel bad that he is controlled by whoever is controlling him depending on what choice he was forced to do. Stefan is happy to hear that there are other people that experienced the same things as him, even if their situations and how they went through it are completely different and gained his first two friends.
  • He feels conflicted over Homura Akemi. The latter wanted to save Madoka by using her magical girl powers to constantly timeloop, something that Stefan understands, but he doesn't respects her decisions of doing so, such as stealing Madoka's powers and becoming a devil to keep her happy. For now, he decided to keep out his distance towards her thanks to her powers and hopes that she will see the errors of her ways.
• Is wary of (Insert Your Name Here) at first, since he found out he doesn't know the reason why he was controlled by them. The former apologized to him and stated that they wished that there were choices that could give a happy ending. They seem on good speaking terms these days, with the former explaining to him about Netflix, since it is one of the choices that he was chosen with and he became curious about the entertainment program that is from the 21st century.
• Is shocked to see that there are people that are in the same situation as him, which is the csse with Stanley and ICEY. The latter two are interested to see that Stefan experiences timeloops whenever the person whoever is controlling him makes a choice that meets a dead end. He became interested to know their stories and also sympathizes with them for the situation all of them were put in.
  • His friendship with Stanley is what caused him to develop a complicated relationship with The Narrator. The former is irritated at the latter's constantly telling anyone of how their story should go, not to mention that he will put anyone in GLaDOS's test chambers if they go against his wishes. Stefan doesn't actually mind how his story should go as long as he thinks it's good for his well-being, but considering the consequences, he would rather have (Insert Your Name Here) because they are on good terms and the latter expressed genuine interest on giving him a happy life.
• Became fond of Frisk as they seem to easily forgive him of the crimes that he would admit that he's proud of doing and sympathizes aith him of being controlled, although Stefan is a little bit envy that he is able to go to a Pacifist Route but it doesn't really change anything between them. He decided to keep an eye on Flowey as he didn't trust him considering what he did back in his own world and to make sure he didn't cause any trouble.
• Approached by Stephen King one day as he actually admirred the Black Mirror series and was thrilled to see someone there ascended and synpathizes for what happened to him. Although he doesn't get what he is saying, he was interested to what he is saying.
  • His encounter with him leads him to become much more curious about his own universe and wants to know what's going on there. He became interested to see that his universe developed such rabid technology that might occur in thr future of other universes since he lived in the 80s, yet he was also appalled to see that other people are abusing it to the point that it caused them insanity.
• He knew that he still hates his own father, but he knew he doesn't want to actually kill him in the first place despite knowing that in some loops, he eventually expressed happiness after killing him.
• The Heroic Protectors of Family don't know what to think of him. They are mad that he killed his father, especially how in one loop, he is rather gleeful about it after he does it, but on the otherhand, he was controlled by someone to do his biding. They decided to keep an eye on him in case he may do something horrible in the future.
• Became bitter enemies with those that will do anything to erase free will in favor of their philosophy like YHVH and Nerose Satanael.

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