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Characters / Glorious Shotgun Princess

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For characters appearing in Glorious Shotgun Princess.

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     The Normandy and Exalts 
Commander Jane Shepard, Zenith Caste

"Is it me, or have there been a lot more sex jokes in my life since I got my power up?"

Unlike Mass Effect 2, Jane Shepard did not die over Alchera. Rather, the act of sacrificing herself to save Joker was the capstone of a long list of heroic and epic achievements, earning her the Solar Exaltation. After spending nine months on the ice planet, she was rescued by Liara and has been fighting the Reapers since.

Liara T'Soni

"It knew all the things."

Jeff "Joker" Moreau

"So, does that mean the Normandy killed all the scientists and took over the base?"

Wuffles, Emissary of the Geth

"To use phrasing that would be appropriate to Shepard Commander: Go fuck yourselves. Go fuck yourselves hard."

A custom Geth platform containing 1,183 Geth platforms, they encountered Shepard on Alchera and instead of being named Legion, got stuck with the name Wuffles. Currently EDI's boyfriend and has somehow had children with her. No one is exactly sure how.

  • Big Damn Heroes: His platform gets destroyed by Harbinger. So he uploads himself into an Autochthon-made robotic copy of the Unconquered Sun and fist fights Harbinger to a standstill.
  • Boom, Headshot!: Kills a Reaper using this.
  • Kirk Summation: Dishes one out to Harbinger, telling him exactly why the Reapers are full of shit.

Kasumi Goto, Chosen of the Maiden of Serenity

"Killing all of the Solars is more a 'all hundred of us get together' sort of plan."

Chosen of Serenity, master thief, and five hundred year old Elder Sidereal, Goto has been trying and failing to help Shepard since shortly after Shepard got her new Normandy.

  • Broken Bird: Has not dealt well with the death of her boyfriend Keiji.
  • I Know Karate: In particular, Crimson Patterned Battlefield Style.
  • Impossible Thief: Can steal a Krogan, a House, and your ability to understand spoken language. Also steals Shepard's lack of a lisp just to prove a point.

Tali'Zorah vas Neemah nar Rayya

"You took a homicidal artificial intelligence, plugged it into a more homicidal artificial intelligence, and made it non violent. Are you sure you're not Quarian?"

Garrus Vakarian, Full Moon Caste

"Just like old times, Shepard."

Entrepreneurial Iridescent Cecay

"Why hello thar!"

A Starmetal-caste alchemical from Deus Machina, Iri is a crafter, a gentle individual, compassionate, witty, and caring. And also an eighteen legged giant spider who possesses a bit too much fondness for caffeine and fixing things. Much to Tali's dismay, Iri also keeps giving her hugs. With all eighteen arms. Working as an assistant to Autochthon, Iri has helped him with his varied experiments and works, and keeps her Colossus body in the main shuttle bay.

  • Cat Girl: While not looking like a human female, she is female and has a pair of furry cat ears on the top of her head.
  • Crazy Awesome: With Autochthon's direction, turns the third floor crew quarters of the Normandy into an Island Paradise. By herself, upgrades the Orizaba to have stealthy systems, a warp drive, and a Wave Motion Gun.
  • Giant Spider: Is a giant spider. Her Colossus form is an even bigger giant spider. She is also a very likable person and likes being helpful.

Kaidan Alenko

"So. What did I miss?"



A high-essence god found on Deus Machina, Autochthon is the last remnant of the primordial Autochthon, who created a memory backup of himself before his fetich death. Snippy, insane, lacking in ethics and dangerously unstable, he joined with the Normandy's crew and has taken Tali under his wing.

  • Awesome Ego: Acts like he's, well his own, gift to science and the smartest person in the room. He's right.
  • Berserk Button: Has many of those, especially regarding his kin.
  • Mad Scientist: Just because he isn't a Primordial anymore doesn't mean he still doesn't love doing SCIENCE to things.


"You're doing it wrong."

Hannah Shepard

"Blow that ship out of my sky."

Jane's mother, Captain of the SSV Orizaba and a good sign of where Jane got her habits. Brash, loud, snarky, and completely lacking in subtlety, Hannah Shepard commands her kilometer-long boomstick exactly the way a Shepard should; By blowing the crap out of Reapers whenever they're in line with the 800-meter long gun barrel.

Javik, Dawn Caste

"I am Javik. And I am the Dawn."

Dawn Caste Prothean, Shining Golden General, and terrible rage machine of a bygone age. Javik is the reason that there were no Solars before Jane exalted; When the God Kings abandoned the Protheans, he hunted them down and sealed away their shards, before proving worthy of the Dawn and fighting a losing war against the Reapers until he finally sealed himself away for fifty thousand years. He has since been awakened, and his first action was to kill a Reaper with his bare hands.

  • The Determinator: Shrugs off Athame's geas through sheer willpower as a mortal. Athame was an Elder Exalted, something capable of doing things that makes punching out a Reaper trivial.

Kal'Reegar, Chosen of the Maiden of Journeys


Quarian Migrant Marine, known throughout the Fleet as a Badass from a family of badasses, Reegar ends up realizing he is the Chosen of Journeys thanks to luck, fate, and Wuffles.

Athame, Zenith Caste
Shepard's previous Exaltation. He's your typical Elder Exalted from Creation's First Age, if given access to the limitless resources that an interstellar empire would have.

  • For Science!: Mutilated the asari genome to make them all-female and semi-parthenogenic to see if he could.


The Viator of Nullspace, Principal of Genocide

Resplendant Harbinger of Ascension/Bright Star

"Assuming Direct Control."

Focused Expedient Seeker

     Other Dimensional 

Deus Machina, the Principle of Innovation

"Ah hm."

A primordial encountered by Shepard and crew, Deus Machina is a Dyson Sphere sized planetoid. Revealed to be the Redeeming Replacement of Autochthon, a post-fetich death primordial that acts as a refuge to the species wiped out by the Reapers. Also home to Autochthon himself, or the god-sized back up of him. Deus Machina doesn't speak- instead he/she/it speaks through Logos, his fetich soul.

  • Big Good: One of them, and his world-body is much more habitable than Autochthonia.

She Who Lives In Her Name, the Principle of Hierarchy

"There will be Hierarchy."

The Ebon Dragon, Principle of Enlightened Self Interest

"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership."

The Big Bad of many an Exalted game, the Ebon Dragon is the creature of darkness, a selfish and vile creature of sadistic glee. And, he may also be an ally against the Reapers and SW Li HN, appearing to the newly-exalted Illusive Man to offer guidance. Exactly what he wants is unknown, but considering his moniker, modus operandi, and general personality it's probably not good.

  • Affably Evil: Emphasis on evil, but is not sadistic or cruel. Just self-amused and something of a dick.
  • And Now You Must Marry Me: Done to Morinth. He is the Ebon Dragon, after all.
  • Jerkass: Makes Morinth his Bride, then drops her into the middle of Cecelyne with Kimbery on her tail.

Jack Harper, the Illusive Man, Defiler Caste

"I can't help but think I've made misstep."

Morinth, the Bride of the Ebon Dragon


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