Literature
You're still here? You're still walking out of the door. You fucking chicken. You yellow-livered wimp. I'm disgusted. Deep down, underneath it all, you're nothing. You're not worth bothering with. You'll have something like a life. It'll drift past quickly. Things will happen. Things won't. You meet people, lose touch. You grow up, get a job, get married, have kids, grow old, die. And serves you right.
And so on.
As gamemaster, I can see across alternate timelines, and dude, this isn't even the first time you've killed everyone in the entire town. It is the first time you camped out in one room and killed them as they walked in, which was easier than the alternative, I guess, but it really seems like maybe you’ve got some issues you maybe want to work out? Maybe there are some things you want to address? Perhaps some impulses within you should be brought to light, just maybe?? AND HERE I’M KINDA REFERRING TO YOU, THE READER, IN REAL LIFE?? ...Naw, I’m just kidding, fantasy is awesome because you can do whatever you want and not get in trouble. Kill ’em all, m’lady!!
— Narrator, To Be or Not To Be: That Is the Adventure
Live-Action TV
THIS IS WHEEL OF FORTUNE, JOE!
— Pat Sajak, after a contestant notoriously guessed "A GROUP OF PILL-PUSHERS" on a puzzle.
Video Games
"You said you didn't need help, so you're on your own until you get inside!"
"I'm still not helping you, so go away!"
"This isn't funny now, stop calling me!"
"This is your last warning, don't do it again!"
"You asked for this, I'm erasing your Game Pak! 3... 2... 1..."
— Bottles, Banjo-Kazooie
"STOP LICKING THE DAMN THING!!"
— Gale if the player continuously licks a dead spider, Baldur's Gate III
"YOU IDIOT!"
— Revolver Ocelot, in a nonstandard Game Over, Metal Gear Solid
You could have prevented everything. Instead you made me into this!
— John Doe, if you refuse to trust him, driving him to become the villainous Joker, Batman: The Telltale Series
You foolishly chose to protect the most evil mortal in Ferren Woods. You will pay with your life.
— The demon children, if you save Judge Dixon, Bloodwings: Pumpkinhead's Revenge
"Are you serious?"
— Call of Duty: Modern Warfare (2019), if you shoot a baby twice
"Those tanks aren't so scary! ... Sir, are you fucking drunk?"
— Infantry trooper when ordered to attack a tank, Company of Heroes
"Where have you been? I'm in pain here!"
— Willis if you run out on him while he's burned, D.M. Dinwiddie, Physician-in-Training
Bernard: Sometimes I do stupid stuff and I don't even know why, as if my body were being controlled by some demented, sadistic puppet master.
Weird Ed: Well, we all feel that way sometimes.
Weird Ed: Well, we all feel that way sometimes.
CONGRATULATIONS! You just lost your sponsors!
— A sign in Daytona USA at the end of a dead-end on the Advanced course that you have to go out of your way to drive into
"You let Kara and Alice die...How could you do that?..You could've saved them..."
— Chloe, Detroit: Become Human
"Markus was our only hope... and you let him die... What will happen to our people now?"
— Chloe, Detroit: Become Human
You've doomed our kind! You monster!
— Zombie in Threed, EarthBound (1994)
"You just ate your fucking toe!"
— Fallout 2, if the player cuts off and eats their, through radiation, newly acquired sixth toe.
"My son, I know it is fun to shoot people, but if you kill all the good guys, you'll never complete your mission. You lose points, too!"
— Odin, God of Thunder
Wait, what, you're back already? Hey, my list says that you barely made it out of here before you died! Were you even trying? Because if you were, why, maybe you need to try a whole lot harder than that next time!
— Hypnos, Hades
Damaged materials with negligible value. You made a mistake, and this is the result.
— Scrap description, Hardspace: Shipbreaker
We haven't killed anyone, you have.
— Blonde Janitor, Hotline Miami
What are you doing bringing crazy Reuban down here?! Get rid of him, or I'll quit!
— Col. Leo Kelly, Jagged Alliance
No, no, no, no, no, no, no! How about saving the prince before you leave? Like, is this game titled "Jill Leaves Level 14 Without Saving the Prince," or what??!?
— In-game prompt, Jill of the Jungle, Episode 3: "Jill Saves the Prince"
"Guess what? You got it for free. Do you feel proud of yourself?"
— The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening, if you manage to steal an item from a shop.note
"HEY! You've got some nerve waking up a sleeping stranger. And... WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?! GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU CREEP!"
— Parcy if Link wakes her up while wearing nothing but boxers, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
"Master Link... As you are well aware, we Sheikah have a deeply twisted history with that mask you're wearing. Some even feel a rush of fear just looking at it. Out of respect for that, would you mind terribly taking it off while in our village? Please?"
— Paya if Link talks to her wearing Yiga Clan armor, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom
You get real close to yourself. You freaking moron.
— Legends of the Jedi's response to the command "approach self"
You easily give away the hopes of the free world! Way to go, traitor! Next time, you'd better hang on to your onklunk!
— Narrator, if you type in "give onklunk", in Leisure Suit Larry 2: Looking for Love (in Several Wrong Places)
Hey! Yeah, you! I'm down here busting my ass while you sit on yours, watching me jump around? How is that fair?
"Boss, have you lost your mind?! Maybe you're not the Big Boss we hoped for after all."
— Ocelot, Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, if you kill one of your men at Mother Base
If I had seen the life that my sons so callously destroyed, would I had left him stranded without hope? Would I have sacrificed his dreams, to claim my own?
— Atrus, in one ending to Myst III: Exile
President Wallace has crossed the Rubicon and done the unthinkable: he has forced school segregation on every states of the union. Blacks and Northern Progressives are furious at this new oppression, and even many of his supporters believe he may have gone too far this time. Wallace won on a states right platform, and this new act flies in the face of the entire concept of state autonomy. Mass rallies are already forming in Northern cities and outbreaks of racial violence are being reported accross the country as Yockeyite vigilantes attempt to make "citizen arrests" on black children as they go to class.
Was it worth it, Mr. President?
— Text of the national spirit "Universal Segregation", The New Order Last Days Of Europe
"Whose side are you on anyway?"
— Kelly, if you let Sarah bite her, Night Trap
"I must say that I had placed the blindest of confidences, the solidest of hopes and the most sincere belief in you. We can well say that I have erred to the bones. But the real betrayer is rather the one who lies beyond the eye of the cat. What have you done, <Player Name>? Is the opaque mist of the sceneristic frame really your excuse for killing wife and child? You have not purified this place. You have destroyed, eradicated it. You have immersed it into a pristine nothingness."
— The Judge, OFF
Are you letting the enemies flee? Kindness leads to defeat on the battlefield.
— Eshiria Portman, if you let a few enemies escape in Stage 6, Raiden V
Drink a Hellacious Brew
Do Not Do This Thing. Hell Zone is not a tourist resort. It is a bad place. You'll need to be at least slightly unhinged already to even think about putting this in your mouth.
Do Not Do This Thing. Hell Zone is not a tourist resort. It is a bad place. You'll need to be at least slightly unhinged already to even think about putting this in your mouth.
— Rat Sending Simulator 2kXX
Drink a Hellacious Brew
You've already been to Hell Zone! Why do you want to go back? What possible reason can you even have? What are you doing?
You've already been to Hell Zone! Why do you want to go back? What possible reason can you even have? What are you doing?
— Rat Sending Simulator 2kXX
Bad idea.
"Hey, Tom Brady. You wanna play the game or do you just wanna be known as a smug cheating bitch the rest of your life?"
— Eric Cartman if you engage in Sequence Breaking, South Park: The Fractured but Whole
Do you feel like a hero yet?
How many Americans have you killed today?
The US military does not condone the killing of unarmed combatants. But this isn't real, so why should you care?
To kill for yourself is murder. To kill for your government is heroic. To kill for entertainment is harmless.
You are still a good person.
If you were a better person, you wouldn't be here.
How many Americans have you killed today?
The US military does not condone the killing of unarmed combatants. But this isn't real, so why should you care?
To kill for yourself is murder. To kill for your government is heroic. To kill for entertainment is harmless.
You are still a good person.
If you were a better person, you wouldn't be here.
— Loading Screen "tips," Spec Ops: The Line
None of this would've happened if you had just stopped.
— Konrad, Spec Ops: The Line
Lugo: This is your fault, goddammit!note
Adams: Stop right there, Lugo.
Lugo: He wouldn't listen!
Adams: We didn't have a choice!
Lugo: HE TURNED US INTO FUCKING KILLERS!
Adams: Stop right there, Lugo.
Lugo: He wouldn't listen!
Adams: We didn't have a choice!
Lugo: HE TURNED US INTO FUCKING KILLERS!
"But in his eagerness to prove that he is in control of the story and no one gets to tell him what to do, Stanley leapt from the platform and plunged to his death. Good job, Stanley. Everyone thinks you are very powerful."
— Narrator, The Stanley Parable
This one's free. Don't do it.
— Q, Star Trek: Borg, if you attempt to link the Borg circuit to the ship's computer
Toadstool: Mario! The Chancellor is WAITING...! We're going back now, right?!
(Player selects "No")
Mallow: Mario! The Chancellor must be worried sick about us. You saw him before! C'mon, let's GO.
(Player selects "NO!")
Geno: Mario! If we don't get the Princess back, WE'LL be chaarged with kidnapping! Let's go!
(Player selects "NO!")
Bowser: Mario! No one, NO ONE is authorized to kidnap the Princess except ME! It just wouldn't be right! Let's take her back to the Mushroom Kingdom, where she belongs!
(Player selects "Forget it")
(The other four characters inaudibly shout at Mario)
???: Enough already!
(Player selects "No")
Mallow: Mario! The Chancellor must be worried sick about us. You saw him before! C'mon, let's GO.
(Player selects "NO!")
Geno: Mario! If we don't get the Princess back, WE'LL be chaarged with kidnapping! Let's go!
(Player selects "NO!")
Bowser: Mario! No one, NO ONE is authorized to kidnap the Princess except ME! It just wouldn't be right! Let's take her back to the Mushroom Kingdom, where she belongs!
(Player selects "Forget it")
(The other four characters inaudibly shout at Mario)
???: Enough already!
"This action does not have my consent!"
— Karl Franz, if the player tries to move him to an unreachable location, Total War: Warhammer
Heheheheh.
You just can't get enough, can you!?
...
How many more times will you kill her?
Ha ha ha ha ha...
You disgusting animal.
You didn't even TRY to spare her. *Evil Laugh, then leaves*
You just can't get enough, can you!?
...
How many more times will you kill her?
Ha ha ha ha ha...
You disgusting animal.
You didn't even TRY to spare her. *Evil Laugh, then leaves*
Wow, you're utterly repulsive.
You spared her life...
Then you decided that just wasn't interesting enough for you.
So you murdered her just to see what would happen.
You killed her out of boredom.
Truly disgusting...
Hee hee...
You spared her life...
Then you decided that just wasn't interesting enough for you.
So you murdered her just to see what would happen.
You killed her out of boredom.
Truly disgusting...
Hee hee...
Seems like you're gonna fight my brother pretty soon. Here's some friendly advice. If you keep going the way you are now...
...
You're gonna have a bad time.
...
You're gonna have a bad time.
— Sans the skeletonnote , Undertale, if you're on a "No Mercy" run.
Sadistically, you've poured out all the water right in front of Undyne's eyes.
— Narrator, Undertale, if you pour out all the water from the cooler without giving any to Undyne when she collapses after chasing you into Hotland.
Fighter ships from the Argon Federation are now being launched. They have orders to kill.
— Announcer, X3: Terran Conflict
"Oi! Nutter!" / "Stupid!" / "You traitor!"
— Worms, if you cause a friendly fire.
"Are you talking to me? On my show? I don't think so. Why don't you take a look at your score huh? Fuck me? No. Fuck you. (Takes away $50,000)"
— Nate Shapiro, if you type in "Fuck you", You Don't Know Jack
You... you're not really this evil, right?
Trading the lives of over a dozen innocent men for your own profit is a pretty damn awful thing to do.
But you can change that.
All it takes is going back and doing something different, even a little.
If you think that you could be a better person, you could always try again. Otherwise, this is...
The End!
— Dysmorph: A Sinful Story of Change (Ending 17: A Deal With The Devil)
"You fell in battle to... Your own Foolishness"
— Deepwoken's death message if you try to intimidate Akira with less than 100 Charisma.
"Come on now, don't get discouraged."
— Peasant's Quest, if you type in any profanity.
"That wasn't very smart. You're dead. Thanks for playing."
— Peasant's Quest, if you type in "die"
"Guys, that manager could have been of use!"
“yeah…you know what? screw this. i’m out. that was messed up.”
Cif, ZERO Prosecutor: The accursed has repeatedly succumbed to lascivious actions. x times to be exact. Such deeds would be appalling enough in the mortal realm. But to exercise such vulgar behaviour in Lord Add's domain... The insolence of mortals knows no bounds. We propose the accursed should be punished accordingly.
Bee, ZERO Defense: Hold up a minute! You see, this was just a... Umm... While it may look quite bad at first, actually... They... Yeah, I'm not gonna even try arguing this one. Lock them up, sis!
ZERO Judge: Stranger, how do you respond to these allegations?
(If the player pleads guilty...)
ZERO Judge: You are foolish indeed. But at least you're an honest fool. Continue your journey, stranger. Your day of absolution will come in time. Until then... Pray we'll never meet again.
Bee, ZERO Defense: Hold up a minute! You see, this was just a... Umm... While it may look quite bad at first, actually... They... Yeah, I'm not gonna even try arguing this one. Lock them up, sis!
ZERO Judge: Stranger, how do you respond to these allegations?
(If the player pleads guilty...)
ZERO Judge: You are foolish indeed. But at least you're an honest fool. Continue your journey, stranger. Your day of absolution will come in time. Until then... Pray we'll never meet again.
— Void Stranger, if the player repeatedly jiggles Tail's breasts
Web Original
The Shooter's Ball's the main event, as everybody knows;
Just a shame this year it came to such an early close.
It seemed like it would last all night, at least from six to six,
But Miss White Phosphorus showed up and made us feel like dicks.
Just a shame this year it came to such an early close.
It seemed like it would last all night, at least from six to six,
But Miss White Phosphorus showed up and made us feel like dicks.
If you take Razzly into battle against the Hydra, she discovers afterwards that the creature was pregnant and performs a postmortem caesarian section, preserving the species from extinction and saving the forest. If you leave her out of her team, the Hydra's young are stillborn and the marshes become uninhabitable. With their home destroyed, Hydra Marsh's humanoid residents pack their things, hit the road, and attempt to conquer Razzly's home on Water Dragon Isle for themselves, taking after the example of El Nido's colonialist humans. Razzly's sister is killed during the struggle, but the invaders are defeated. Afterwards, you get to sit there and take it while they tell you what an unconscionable monster you are for driving them to do this, and that the responsibility for their dislocation and decimation is all on your head. Letting events play out this way is the only way to acquire Razzly's level 7 tech, which is a component of one of the two triple techs in the entire game. Saving or harvesting one of the Little Sisters in BioShock only to reap the same rewards either way hardly compares to the burden of a decision like this.
— Pat R.
on Chrono Cross
on Chrono Cross