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Quotes / I Am Not Spock

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    Films — Live-Action 
How many times have I told you not to call me "Urkel?!" My name is Jaleel White! Urkel was a character I played when I was a child!

Jason Biggs: You see, man? You see? It's never "Hey, you were in Loser weren't you" or "Dude you rocked in Boys and Girls". No, it always comes back to that fucking pie. I'm haunted by it!
James Van Der Beek: You put your dick in a pie.
Jason Biggs: Enough! I'm Jason Biggs.

    Live-Action TV 
Agent: The network suddenly feels that you’re too mature for the role. I know it may not seem that way now, but once we get a little distance between you and "Raven"—
Rebecca: Oliver, the series is in syndication. She’ll always be there. Looking younger and better and sweeter than me — forever.

"Do you know how long I have worked to get away from Lieutenant Chloe? To get away from the stench of this show?! The fan experience was bad enough, but she was gonna sell the rights, and it was gonna start all over again: the movies, the product lines! Lieutenant Chloe bobbleheads!"
Stephanie Frye, Castle ("The Final Frontier")

James Earl Jones: (looks up from his menu to see Sheldon standing there) Let me guess: you like Star Wars.
Sheldon: (nods repeatedly)
Jones: You know I've been in other movies.
Sheldon: (nods repeatedly)
Jones: But you don't care about those, do you?
Sheldon: (shakes his head)
Jones: (motions Sheldon closer) I have one thing to say to people like you: I like Star Wars too! Care to join me?
from The Big Bang Theory, episode 7x14,"The Convention Conundrum"


They shake my hand and never ask my name
And they start asking questions that are always the same
"Hey, what's Michael J. Fox like?" He’s nice
"What's Christopher Lloyd like?" Kinda quiet
"What's Crispin Glover like?" … Unusual
Stop askin' me the question!

    Stand-Up Comedy 
"This man had to be Captain Kangaroo for over thirty fucking years! No scandal, no controversy, drank a lot. You would too. I don't think he knew the show was going to go thirty fucking years. 'Goddamn it, I'm fucking Captain Kangaroo. Thought the fucking gig would last two or three years, I didn't think I'd spend my whole fucking life as Captain Kangaroo! I was an actor, I was in the Actor's Studio, I wanted to do Death of a Salesman, I wanted to play Willy. My God, I'm Captain KANGAROO!'"

    Web Animation 
Kate Abdo: I'm sorry, and you are?
Harry Kane!Dan Stevens: Harry Kane! Captain of the Three Lions and one very Hot Spur!
Kate Abdo: No, wait a moment, no you're not. You're... you're Matthew Crawley from Downton Abbey!
Dan Stevens: [drops character] It's Dan... it's actually Dan Stevens! I'm the actor who played Matthew Crawley! And I'm in other things, you know! I played Sir Lancelot in the third Night at the Museum movie! [storms off the set]

    Web Original 
Grammer holds the distinction of being the only actor ever to win three Golden Globes for the same role. Sounds great, until you realize he has three statues at home reminding him every day that, as they lower him into the ground, there's a good chance the priest will accidentally refer to him as 'the departed Dr. Crane.'

RDJ should really learn from this. He should always have an Iron Man suit in the back of his rental car. If he doesn't have an Iron Man suit in the back of his rental car, he should drive down to Party City or wherever to buy an Iron Man costume. He has a responsibility to little children everywhere.
Michael K., "Robert Downey Jr. Ruins A Kid’s Life By Not Wearing His Iron Man Suit"

Unfortunately, her presence means the whole time I'm watching this movie, I'm imagining Condoleezza Rice is secretly plotting against the President, and we only have a few hours to stop her, and she's somehow involved in the 9/11 attacks.
The Agony Booth on Penny Johnson, on DC 9/11: Time of Crisis (2003)

DR. RAPSON: Hey, you're Jack Hall! I really liked your presentation about how we're all going to freeze to death and stuff. Too bad that your VP's a NotDick.
JACK: OMG you're Dr. Bilbo!
DR. BILBO: *sigh*

    Web Video 
Wherever I go, people say to me,
'Hey, are you that guy?
Doctor Who's companion
Rory Williams?' And I sigh
I want to tell them that there's more to me than this
I'm not just a bloke riding a TARDIS
I am an actor in a fable
I didn't get captured by a Weeping Angel
You need to know my own story
I'm not Rory
Arthur Darvill sings to the tune of "Let it Go"

To me, Matthew Fox just is Jack. When I see Jorge Garcia in anything else, my brain says, "Hey! It's Hurley! Wait, shouldn't you be on the island?"

    Western Animation 
Daffy Duck: Leslie Hunt? Who's she?
Leslie Hunt: I'm Leslie Hunt.
Daffy Duck: You're Steve St. James!
Leslie Hunt: No. Steve St. James is a character I've played on TV. I'm Leslie Hunt.
Daffy Duck: Who?

Lisa (Clobber Girl): Wait a minute... Xena can't fly!
Lucy Lawless: (in costume as Xena) I told you, I'm not Xena. I'm Lucy Lawless.

    Real Life 
"It was Captain Kirk playing T J Hooker, not William Shatner the actor. You're just thinking he's taken a month off and come down to Earth and said 'I want to be a cop for a bit'."
Eddie Izzard, Unrepeatable

There are no movie stars anymore. Like, Anthony Mackie isn't a movie star, The Falcon is a movie star... The evolution of the superhero has meant the death of the movie star.

I am not Spock.

Then why does my head turn in response to a stranger on the street who calls out that name? Why do I feel a twinge when someone says, “What happened to your ears?” I am not Spock.

Then why do I feel a wonderful warmth when I hear or read a compliment aimed at the Vulcan?

Spock for President reads the bumper sticker on the car in front of me. I’m filled with pride and I smile. I’m not Spock.

But if I’m not, who is? And if I’m not Spock, then who am I?

"Mel Gibson will always be Mad Max, and me, I will always be a Number."
Patrick McGoohan

"Princess Leia was famous, and I looked like her."

"George Lucas ruined my life and I mean this in the nicest way possible."
Carrie Fisher again

"I am a big man, and I have a laugh to match my size. The ridiculous thing is that since I played Goldfinger in the James Bond film there are some people who still insist on seeing me as a cold, ruthless villain — a man without laughs."

"At the same time, although it's the loveliest job I ever had, it essentially killed my career stone dead... So when I went to play Macbeth the audience wanted me to play Macbeth in the style of Doctor Who and naturally I did. Afterwards a critic said "I had no idea how nice Macbeth was". So I realised then that the people coming to see me — people like you — didn’t want to see me playing Jack the Ripper or whatever it was. So when I went to Ireland to play Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty in the same play, they were absolutely baffled because they were absolutely interchangeable."
Tom Baker on Doctor Who, "The Five Doctors"

"People expect me to be this guy who can walk into a dark room, snap my fingers, and turn on the lights. Or they want me to pound my fist on the hood of a car, and start the engine. I can't do it. I've tried!"

"I never thought a picture of my body would be tacked up in men's bathrooms. I hate men looking at me and thinking what they think. And I know what they think. They write and tell me."

"I was an actress playing someone who had never danced before, but I became this iconic dance person. I was so afraid of what people would think, I wouldn’t even dance at weddings with my husband."

"It is thanks to him that not a day goes by when someone, somewhere does not come up to me, taps me on the shoulder and says, 'Hey, Ferris, is this your day off?'"
Matthew Broderick, paying tribute to John Hughes at the 82nd Academy Awards

"It's amazing, when you win the Academy Award, you have, like, about a week where everyone's like 'Hey, Good Will Hunting, way to go!", 'Good Will Hunting, Academy Award, way to go!', and two weeks later, it's like 'Hey, Mork, how are ya?'"

Taking time machine back to my Degrassi Junior High self. Just to let past me know, 'You. Will. Never. Leave.''
Stefan Brogren, via Twitter

"Pretty much 7 and unders, I tend to get nothing but boos. No matter how kind I am to them, they’re not interested in being kind back."

"The worst abuse I get is from people who don't know who I am. I was in a restaurant and the waitress didn't realize who I was. All she could remember is that she hated me; she'd spat in my food, but then was like, 'Wait! I'm sorry! You play Pete Campbell! I thought I knew you!"
Vincent Kartheiser

"That was something that was calculated, you know what I mean? That was our marketing department at Fox and they did a really good job with our first season, but that’s a word that describes the character that I play, not me. I don’t personally have identification with that word myself."
Zooey Deschanel on her "adorkable" characters

"It was a help as far as having a bigger career. It was an odd way to meet a national audience, because I was known around the world as the asshole that tried to rape Julia Roberts".

"I've never been a pot smoker. It's amazing how many people think that".

"I've only been in one fight in my whole seventh grade, yet everyone thinks I'm a maniac".

''"People don't assume that John Wayne shoots people and rides a horse on weekends. People think I'm a nymphomaniac".


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