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Quotes / I Am Not Shazam

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"Lisa cannot decide which is more embarrassing: Bart shooting popcorn out of his nose at screen/Homer loudly asking which character is Pride and which one is Prejudice."
The Lisa Simpson Book

"Cool! This is the part where Jaws eats the boat!"
"This is where Die Hard jumps through the window!"
"This is where Wall Street gets arrested!"
Bart Simpson, The Simpsons

"In this shot, Mohammed hands a football helmet to Family Guy.note  Comedy Central has refused to broadcast an image of Mohammed on their network."
Disclaimer as shown in the South Park episode "Cartoon Wars, Part II"

"Now, a lot of you are [probably] asking, Link, if your games are all about you, why are they all called 'Zelda'? Well, there's a perfectly logical explanation for this... I have no backbone."
Link, Zelda Comic

"Hello my name is Twilight and I am a Dracula."

"The band is just fantastic, that is really what I think... oh by the way, which one's Pink?"
Pink Floyd, "Have A Cigar"

Yeah, my name is Link, man,
I'm more well known than Lil Wayne
Oh, you thought my name was Zelda?

Luke: Did Footloose follow the rules?!
Phil: His name was Ren, and he most certainly did not.

Announcer: Doc Brown! VERSUS! Doctor Who! BEGIN!
The Doctor: Oh! Actually, if you don't mind, it's just The Doctor.

#15. No, his name isn't "Zelda." It's Link. Samus isn't "Metroid" and Pikachu isn't "Pokémon." Sometimes videogames - like books, films and television - are complex enough to contain characters with names separate from the title. Hard to believe, but true!

Hart: The undefeated legend of fall: FRANKENSTEIN!
Sid: Advise; technically, it's Frankenstein's Monster, if you wanna be a dick about it.

That's not so ignorant after all. There are two monsters in my story, not one. And one of them, the scientist, is indeed named Frankenstein.

Viridi: Oh, look. There's Metroid.
Pit: That's not a Metroid! That's Samus!
Palutena: Just like Link isn't named Zelda.
Viridi: And like Pit's name isn't Icarus!
Pit: Okay, this joke has officially run its course.
— Palutena's Guidance, Super Smash Bros. for Wii U

Pat: Those videos are weird, man.
Woolie: But Frozen - Frozen's pregnant, though.
Pat: ...Frozen is pregnant.
Matt: Yeah, Frozen, not Elsa, Frozen.
Woolie: That's what I said.

Samus Aran: Well, now's your chance. And feel lucky. There are still people calling me "Metroid".

Space Pirate: Curse you, Metroid!
Samus Aran: You know that's not right.
*A Metroid appears*
Space Pirate: You! Floating jelly brain! Tell everyone that Metroid is coming!
*scene change*
Alien: So which one of you is Contra? Is it me? Am I the Contra? I hope I'm the Contra.
*scene change*
Soldier: Stay alert! The guards spotted secret agent Metal Gear!
Snake: Come on, really?

"We're not witches! It's just our initials!"
Irma Lair, W.I.T.C.H.

"Who the fuck is Laura Winslow? This is a show about the Family Matters. That's Laura Matters, Carl Matters, Harriette Matters, Marshall Matters, Grandma Matters, and Jerry Matters as The Beaver."

"I used to believe that Gustavo Dudamel's (principal conductor of LA philharmonic) name was La Phil because all the advertisements for LA philharmonic said "La Phil", with a picture a Gustavo Dudemal conducting. Fortunately, I only believed this for about 4 years until my brother told me that the conductors name was Gustavo Dudamel, not La Phil."
Anonymous submission to I Used to Believe.note  All grammatical errors left intact.note 


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