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Quotes / Hypocrite

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Fiction

Francine, how can you be so selfish? I'm doing this for ME!
Stan Smith, American Dad!, "Lincoln Lover"

Michael: Darryl will hire some kids for the warehouse, we don't have to worry about internships with them, because they definitely ain't going to college.
Darryl: What college did you go to, Mike?
Michael: (pause) Let's go!
The Office (US), "Job Fair"

What do you call assassins who accuse assassins?
Colonel Kurtz, Apocalypse Now

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Logan: I don't want to live with a guy who's all conceited and full of himself!
Michael: (My, my, is it getting a little ironic in here?)
Zoey 101, "Rumor of Love"

Oh, so you can't go to Vegas, but she can fuck a bellhop on a Carnival Cruise line?
Phill Wenneck, The Hangover

Lemme get this straight... you guys wanna permanently separate Pokémon from humans somehow, so that Pokémon will finally be our equals? And in order to do that, you guys attack Pokémon with your own? What is this I don't even--
Black, Black Adventures

A true leader is willing to go against his own kind. F.D.R. was rich. He dumped on Wall Street. Ike was a General. He attacked the military-industrial complex. L.B.J. was southern. He sponsored the Voting Rights Act... I'm the first old President. Social Security must go.
Jules Fieffer, 1982 political cartoon

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Stinger missiles. And no regard for human life. None for the valiant medics struggling to save their comrade, and none for their comrade himself.[.] (on the very next page) Let's get us some killing done.
The Fixer, Holy Terror

Again, you expect us to blindly follow you but you refuse to trust us!
The Huntress to Batman, Injustice: Gods Among Us

Hey! You might be getting better, but nobody cheats better than Waluigi! You got that?!

Hilbert: Dammit Eiffel, are you trying to get us all killed?!
Eiffel: Why yes, Mr. Pot, Mr. Kettle is looking a little black today...
Wolf 359, Gas Me Twice

I believe in the family
With my ever-loving wife beside me
But she don't know about my girlfriend
Or the man I met last night
Genesis, "Jesus He Knows Me"
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Real Life

The sign that points toward Boston doesn't have to go there.
Max Scheler (1874-1928), arguing that one needn't practice what one preaches

A hypocrite is a person who—but who isn't?
Don Marquis (1878-1937)

I do think it is fair to say that Roger Ebert destroyed film criticism.
Armond White

Criticizing colleagues is not what we do.
Armond White, in response Roger Ebert labeling him a troll

He seems to be under the impression (aided by questionable, unidentified studies, of course) that all lesbians are obese substance abusers. oh, the irony...

Some folks in this world spend their whole time hunting after righteousness, and can't find any time to practice it.
Josh Billings

I've never failed a drug test in my life. I told them to have Triple H pick me up in a limo, then we could go test together. They never asked again.

It is just odd Seagal is now proud to be a police reserve even though it could be argued he is now working for 'the man' despite preaching against it in many of his movies. There’s a word for that…
Miles Antwiler on The Patriot (1998)

If you’re side-eying Chloe for calling a trick “crass” when she sucked Vincent Gallo’s dick in front of a camera, then you need to stop. Chloe sucked that big douche dick in the name of art!
Michael K., "Chloe Sevigny Is Totally Annoyed By “Crass” Jennifer Lawrence"

It is tremendously ironic that the political left, which frequently attacks the right’s denial of evolution, is much more likely to oppose one of the most promising scientific advances that we have achieved.
Collin Viera on Bill Maher

Kaiser: Speaking of Fox, get the fuck out of here, you furry piece of shit!
Lani: Says-
Kaiser: The furry piece of shit?

I see this kind of hypocrisy all the time in online versions of Survivor: Someone will lie, manipulate, and backstab with the best of them, but when it happens to them, all of a sudden they find their morals and get on a soapbox.
Survivor columnist Ken Kellam, on Lex's jury speech

If you hate something, don't you do it too.
Pearl Jam, "Not For You"

"Because Americans dislike Realpolitik, public discourse about foreign policy in the United States is usually couched in the language of liberalism. Hence the pronouncements of the policy elites are heavily flavoured with optimism and moralism. American academics are especially good at promoting liberal thinking in the markeplace of ideas. Behind closed doors, however, the elites who make national security policy speak mostly the language of power, not that of principle, and the United States acts in the international system according to the dictates of realist logic. In essence, a discernible gap separates public rhetoric from the actual conduct of American foreign policy.
John Mearsheimer, The Tragedy of Great Power Politics (New York, 2001) p.25

"Therefore you are without excuse, every man of you who passes judgment, for in that you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things."

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."
The Bible, Matthew 7:1-5 NIV

"Schlafly, the heroine of the Values Voter Debate, is a published author of nine books, three-time candidate for the U.S. Congress, a full-time law student at Washington University in St. Louis, editor of a monthly newsletter, a twice-a-week syndicated newspaper columnist, regular speaker at anti-liberal rallies, and employs a full-time housekeeper to take care of her mansion – in other words, she follows her anti-emancipatory arguments and consistently claims that women should stay at home as the Bible requires, by setting a splendid example.
Encyclopedia of American Loons on Phyllis Schlafly

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