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Funny / Rex the Runt

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    Season 1 

1. - A Holiday in Vince

  • Bad Bob tries to decide what to watch on the television.
    Bad Bob: So, on BBC One, there's Part 1 of a five-part miniseries set against war-torn Dorset starring Randy Duvall. You like him, don't you, Wendy?
    Wendy: No, I like the holiday programme!
    Bad Bob: Ooh! Icelandic Hopscotch on Channel 4 the other day...
    Wendy: Holiday programme!
    Bad Bob: ...then they've got that thing where they break in and rearrange the furniture...
    Wendy: Holiday programme!
    Bad Bob: Er...
    Wendy: Holiday programme, holiday programme, holiday programme, holiday programme!
    And then Vince hits the TV with his paw and changes it to the holiday programme that Wendy wanted. She then breaks the remote in half, much to Bad Bob's disappointment.
  • The Running Gag of Rex, Wendy and Big Bob going 'Shut it, Vince' whenever he bursts into short fragments of opera.
  • The gang try to get Vince checked into a holiday home for dogs before they themselves go on holiday.
    Mrs. Bloomers: And finally, does the little chap have any diseases? Headaches? Scurvy? Dog-rot? Windy-pops? Farmer's lungs? Beetle's bottom?
    Wendy: No, Vince has never had any problems. Not even fleas.
    Bad Bob then starts scratching himself, possibly because of fleas, and Rex hits him. Cue Vince doing opera as a result of his Random Pavarotti Disease, and Bad Bob covering his mouth and whistling.
    • When Vince is introduced to the other dogs offscreen, we hear lots of barking and then silence.
    Mrs. Bloomers: He's just eaten a chihuahua!
    Bad Bob: Good.
  • The whole Fantastic Voyage homage when the gang go inside Vince's brain to cure his Random Pavarotti Disease. Especially this part:
    Wendy: Oh, look! We're back in the kitchen. Can we go round again?
    Rex: Hmm...something's not quite right...
    Vince: Fisher, German Bight, North Utsire, South Utsire...
    Rex: We're still in Vince's brain! Quick, before he starts reciting poetry!
  • Eventually they get him retuned to Gardeners Question Time on BBC Radio 4:
    Vince: If you plant your brassicas in May, cover them in mulch.
  • The gang realise that they are still inside Vince. (who is sitting on a stool) Cue the unholy (yet hilarious) screams of realisation and terror.

2. - Stinky's Search for a Star

  • This.
    Wendy: Oh, no! These bills come to nearly...ten pounds!
    Bad Bob: That's it. We're dead dogs. Extinct. Nothing for it, I'm going to have to sell my body.
    Rex: I know.
    Bad Bob: Don't try and stop me.
    Wendy: Go on, then.
    Bad Bob: Right, I'm going now...onto the body...
    He then rushes out the door, and a cash register sound is heard. He then comes back with no body, just his eyes, mouth and his gun.
    Wendy: How much d'you get?
    Bad Bob: Ten quid!
    Rex: Great! Where is it?
    Bad Bob: In the back pocket of my hipsters...Ohh!!
  • The tryouts at Stinky Basil's Search for a Star competition. Especially this:
    Elvis Presley impersonator: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Take it away'.
    The Elvis impersonator starts playing "Hound Dog" while producing armpit-fart noises, but can only complete the first bit before Elvis is abducted by a flying saucer, which then flies off into outer space.''
  • The end of the episode, where the gas bill has been payed thanks to the gang's new lodger, which turns out to be The Centipede of the Dance from earlier in the episode, and Vince tries to eat him, leading to this gem:
    The Centipede of the Dance: Hey...don't come any further now! I'm warning you!
    Vince is just about to stick his fork in the Centipede when:
    The Centipede of the Dance: Get away with you! (kicks Vince down the stairs) You're not eating me, you little bugger!

3. - Easter Island

  • Rex trying to get Bad Bob to navigate the helicopter.
    Bad Bob: We've gotta land, Rex! I'm starving!
    Rex: Bob! Concentrate! You're supposed to be navigating!
    Bad Bob: I am doing! Go on, ask me anything.
    Rex: OK...What are our coordinates?
    Bad Bob: Over the Pacific. There you are.
    Rex: What time is it?
    Bad Bob: Dinner time!
    Rex: How much fuel have we got left?
    Bad Bob: We're gonna run!
    Cue the helicopter crash landing on Easter Island.
  • Given that Eddie Izzard was a guest star in this episode, he was bound to have some good lines. Such gems include:
    Easter Island Head #1: Headache? It's awful when you have a headache, isn't it? I dreadful ones, all down one side. Tunnel vision. Floaters. Have to lie down in a darkened room. Frightful. Always carry aspirin. If you don't catch in time it could go all round your head and down. Ooh, all down your middle and up your back. I should lie down for a bit, old chap.
    Easter Island Head #2: Shut up, you bastards! You didn't pay to get in, did you? I suppose you'd rather see Graham's poxy Venusian five-legged lizard, would you? Bunch of Philistines!
    Cue him getting squished by Bad Bob's spaceship, which is made from an old tin of baked beans.
    I now realise I've been so wrong! We shouldn't put creatures in little cages. We should put them in big cages. Or at least give them the key, for God's sake! Enough of the hurting, the fear. The sneaking up behind people and going 'OH!' kind of thing. Be young, be brave, be beautiful.
    Easter Island Head #3: Well, we'll love you and leave you. Loads to do back at base camp. Big day tomorrow. Giving the caravan a wax.
  • Rex when he is drunk is funnier than usual, as he includes these gems:
    Rex: On our way to New Zealand, we ran out of shool and crashed the hecilopter!
    Rex: Well, cheers guys, yeah! Thanks for the d*hic*ink!
    Rex: (before passing out) And they were nicer to me than...than you lot have ever been, that's for sure!
  • One of Vince's many odd interjections:
    Bad Bob: 'Ere, Wendy. My bum's not that big, is it? I should do some clenches maybe.
    Vince: Clenches.
  • The aliens may have kidnapped Rex but Bob is so taken with their breakfast he compliments them on it during Rex's rescue.

4. - Too Many Dogs

  • The Impossible Theft of the gang's house, leading to this piece of dialogue:
    Wendy: I don't believe it! Our house has been stolen!
    Bad Bob: Bastards!
    Rex: You just can't leave anything lying around these days! Better tell the police.
    Cut to the gang arriving at the police station, which has also been stolen.
    Rex: The police station's stolen?! Has the world gone mad?!
  • Bad Bob's first demonstration of his new time machine.
    Wendy: You're not getting me up in that thing again.
    Bad Bob: Ah, but I've modified it! Now, you see, it's a Go-Back-In-Time-Atron.
    Rex: Is it?
    Wendy: Clever!
    Bad Bob: Slight teething problem, however, it only goes back six seconds. (hops into time machine and goes back six seconds.)
    This then happens again and again until Stinky Basil appears on the screen and hits the scene playing behind him with a hammer.
  • The so-called barking contest, especially the two Vinces, who begin the contest with the most absurd barks of all:
    Vince #1: Figaro, figaro, fii-ga-rooooo!
    Vince #2: Parp!

5. - The City Shrinkers

  • Bad Bob trying to do some simple DIY in The Teaser, which ends up in him spinning the whole house round with his drill and Artex going everywhere afterwards, including in Wendy's tea.
  • Near the end of the episode, the postman (voiced by Tom Baker) turns up with the real prize of the lottery that the gang have won, leading to this dialogue:
    Postman: Mr. Runt, having won the lottery, you received a cheque for the sum of Birmingham, am I right?
    Rex: Er...yes.
    Postman: Well, Birmingham was a typographical error. So I have been sent by the Post Office to deliver to you the correct prize of 4 million pounds.
    Rex: Cor!
    Postman: But given that you've buggered up this country's infrastructure with your bloody shrinking ray, I'll need it back! Oh yes, and one other thing...
    The Postman then punches Rex so powerfully that he hits the wall at the end of the lounge.
    Postman: That'll learn you!
  • The gang discussing what to do with the time machine, especially Bad Bob's suggestion:
    Bad Bob: Why don't you go back in time and buy some crisps when they were cheaper? Cheese and onion, please.

6. - Adventures on Telly: Part I

  • The beginning of the episode, where Bad Bob shoots the TV and the screen shatters, revealing him and the rest of the gang behind it. Sadly, the joke is ruined if you're watching this episode on a 16:9 television, as all episodes of Rex the Runt were made in a 4:3 aspect ratio.
  • The Cameo of Wallace as a window cleaner, and Bad Bob pushing him off his ladder when he and the rest of the gang leave to go to the bank.
  • Bob Holness' guest appearance as the gang's bank manager, Mr. Formal. His gems include this one:
    Mr. Formal: Can you tell me which is the odd one out? Is it A: High yield gold with 3 months notice to withdrawal, B: High yield platinum interest, or C: Knick-knack-knick-knock-knicky-knacky-knoo?

7. - Adventures on Telly: Part II

8. - Adventures on Telly: Part III

  • The gang trying to occupy their time whilst floating around outer space, including this gem:
    Wendy: Well, luckily for us, I brought me banjo. It'll help pass the time.
    Wendy starts playing Dueling Banjos, but the gang grow less interested as the song goes on, until Wendy's banjo gets hit by a meteor.
  • The entirety of the Poultry Pantry sequence, from the robot waiters wearing Thunderbirds costumes to Eddie Izzard's guest appearance as an Alien Blob, whose lines include such gems as these:
    Alien Blob: 'Ere! Your little friend not want his, then? 'Cause he wouldn't m..
    Alien Blob: But be warned, my brave little scrotums...there be danger and doom the way you're heading!
    Alien Blob: Now, this is the thing to remember. If you hear a sound that's like bath water going down a plughole...then you're shagged.
  • The Unrealistic Black Hole that the gang go through, which ends at a restaurant called, conveniently, "The Black Hole", which is maintained by Rex's old teacher Mrs. Mandelbrotska, and Rex only recognises her by licking her feet.

9. - The Trials of Wendy

  • Wendy shooting Vince in The Teaser, leaving a hole where his face used to be. She then sticks his face back in the hole just before she is arrested by Constable Funnyname, who heard the shooting.
  • Any of Constable Funnyname's lines, due to being voiced by Simon Day. His gems include:
    Constable Funnyname: I remember the day in question very well, 'cause I had a bit of a tummy upset. Cornish pasty or whatever. Up and down all night.
    Constable Funnyname: (singing Vaudeville) When I was just a little pup, my daddy said to me: "It's a sad old trail, in this dreary life, to go from tree to tree-ee-ee..."
    Constable Funnyname: I'm not fit to wear this uniform! (hits himself with his baton) I'm. A. Dis. Grace!
  • Bad Bob in the witness box:
    Bad Bob: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, (shows the jury his pistol) a gun. A simple hunk of metal, but in the wrong hands...deadly!
    Rex: Oh, no...
    Bad Bob: So, how was it fired on that fateful afternoon? Was it like this? BANG! (fires into the jury, who immediately duck) Or was it like this? BANG!! (fires again) Or was it a lady's gun, like this? (shows the jury the Golden Gun from the James Bond movie The Man with the Golden Gun) (slightly imitating Wendy's accent as he does) Bing. Bing-bing. Bing-bing-bing. (pretends to blow smoke off the Golden Gun.) Or was it a...PROPER gun, like THIS?! (shows the jury a machine gun.) Mind your heads!
    Judge Pikelet: Goodness gracious, he's wrong in the head!
    Rex: (whispering) Put it down slowly, Bob.
    Bad Bob: Oh. Alright, Rex. (throws the machine gun away but the machine gun fires at someone in the jury and kills them.)

10. - Under the Duvet

11. - Bob's International Hiccup Centre

  • Bad Bob goes to see Dr. Dogg because he's lost his sense of humour.
    Bad Bob: Can I have a quiet word, Dogg?
    Dr. Dogg: No.
    Bad Bob: You see, I'm not feeling meself.
    Dr. Dogg: Oh, not that old gag!
    Bad Bob: I- No no no no... you don't understand!
    Dr. Dogg: Here, take these.
    Bad Bob: You see, I've lost my comic
    Dr. Dogg: Well, I ain't got it. Ten quid.
  • Dr. Dogg Flipping the Bird to Bad Bob's commercial for his International Hiccup Centre.
  • Wendy and Rex trying to cure Vince's hiccups at the beginning of the episode:
    Wendy: I know a hiccup cure. Come here, Vince. Breathe in!
    She dunks Vince in a bucket of water, but he still hiccups.
    Rex: My uncle said this works.
    He blows Vince's head up like a balloon, but it bursts. Fortunately, another head comes down out of nowhere and places itself on where the old head used to be. And then he starts hiccuping again.

12. - Johnny Saveloy's Undoing

Note to UK readers: If you're watching the episode "Johnny Saveloy's Undoing" on BBC Two in 2012 and onwards, the Jimmy Savile impression may be a Harsherin Hindsight due to the fact that Jimmy Savile was posthumously uncovered as a child molester. Fortunately, Aardman have reanimated and re-dubbed this part, and the Jimmy Savile impression has been replaced with a Tommy Cooper impression, which is as follows:
Vince: (as Tommy Cooper) And now for my favourite trick, the Voices in Jars trick! Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh!

13. - Carbonara

    Season 2 

1. - Patio

  • Rex's suggestion for "primal scream therapy", and demonstrates. His scream sounds as ridiculous as the face he makes.
    • It gets funnier when he decides to express his anger through dance. The dance in question involves kicking a nearby chair over, slamming his plasticine fists onto Dr. Dogg's table and dancing on top of it.
    Rex: I know, maybe I could express my anger through dance!

2. - The Plasticine Gene

3. - Rocket Raymond

4. - Bob Joins A Gang

5. - Wendy's Hot Date

6. - A Crap Day Out

7. - The Art of Cooking

8. - Private Wendy

9. - Hole in the Garden

10. - Mouse in Me Kitchen

11. - Slim Bob

12. - Wayne the Zebra

13. - Wendy's New Hair Do