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General

  • The sarcastic emphasizing of Brad's accent, mumbling and stuttering in the captions. Wourder.
  • The goofy and often surreal images and sound effects Matt throws into the background. Expect lots of shattering glass and upset cats. Especially funny if he puts them in at a point where Brad is distracted by something off-camera.

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    Season 1 

"How to Brew Your Own Kombucha"

  • The episode's Cold Open is Brad spilling kombucha on the floor.
    Voice off camera: "What happened, Brad?"
    Brad: "Oh! [Beep]in' tragedy over here."
    Voice off camera: "Is this your first time making kombucha, Brad?"
    Brad: "It sure looks like it!"
    Cue title theme
  • Food editor Andy Baraghani passes by, ranting about something he ordered the previous week.
    Brad (under his breath): "Guy's out of his mind."
  • Brad has an interesting reaction when tasting the unfermented kombucha the first time.
  • Brad says he'll probably bottle on Friday. Transition caption: "Monday..."
  • Brad briefly rubs his face, but Vinny puts in a punch sound effect.
  • "Like a frog's ass: watertight."

"How to Make Your Own Cultured Butter"

  • Brad's sheer amusement at saying "butter" in French: "beurre", or as he pronounces it, "buh".
    "You know, I don't speak much French; I don't even speak that well English..."
  • Brad asks food editor Claire Safitz if "all pasteurized food is pasteurized at the end of the day." She turns, opens her mouth like she's going to confusedly respond, and it cuts back to Brad.
    Brad: "Well put, Claire."
  • While Brad is checking something on the computer, the computer screen is changed to a Google search screen for "How to make butter."

"How to Make Beer"

  • Brewmaster Dan Suarez is very relaxed and chill through the episode, to the point that commenters think he might have been on something, but even he gets visibly tired of Brad's shit at one point.
  • Brad never quite nails down the pronunciation of "wort". He says it like "wart"; Dan says it's pronounced like "wurt".

"How to Make Fermented Garlic Honey"

"Brad Makes Perfect Corned Beef"

  • The title sequence includes a moment of Brad having a drink and turning and seeing Vinny, apparently not realizing he was being filmed.
  • "Right off the bat, you can smell the clove, you can smell..." (Brad inspects the spices) "You can smell the clove, you can sme- we didn't add the clove, Vinny. Stand by."
  • Vinny/Matt make a dance mix out of assistant web editor Alex Delaney's "Whoo!" reaction to the smell of the spices.

"Brad Uses Moldy Rice (Koji) to Make Food Delicious"

  • The Cold Open is Vinny scaring Brad as he comes out of the walk-in.
    "Jesus Christ, Vinny! Gotta put a bell on you."
  • Brad's long rant about respecting a shared space gets cut short.
  • Brad seem to forget to wear gloves, so he goes into a long series of justifications for why he chose not to. The caption at the end of it sells it: "You should probably use gloves."
  • Shrimp playing piano
  • Vinny zooms in on a bundle of herbs that Brad's head keeps bumping.

"Brad Makes a Fermented Mexican Pineapple Drink (Tepache)"

  • Brad tries some unfermented Tepache, and as he reacts to the heat, Matt adds in some redness and steam.
  • Brad has trouble clipping his mic to his apron.
  • "It's afternoon. We can start drinking."
  • While walking around the offices, trying to get people to drink the Tepache, Brad notices a ship passing by the Statue of Liberty. "That's where we're gonna shoot next, Vinny. A little place called... Ellis Island." The caption for Ellis Island pops up... then an arrow pointing to a different island nearby. Then another caption pointing out that the Statue of Liberty is on Liberty Island.

"Brad Makes Fermented Hot Sauce"

  • The episode opens with Brad saying he really doesn't know what he's doing.
  • The botulism discussion comes back, and Brad is very indignant about it.
  • Photographer Alex Lau tries the hot sauce. The editing adds in a video game life counter progressively going down.

"Brad Grills Steak on a Campfire"

  • The very first thing in the video is Brad falling off a chair.
    "Man down! ...I'm gonna get fired."
  • Brad looks around while he's talking. A voice gets added in saying "If you cook it, he will come."
  • "How you feel about that, Vinny?" (Long pause) "Oh yeah, you don't really talk much."
  • The episode ends on several takes of Brad having trouble introducing himself.

"Brad Makes Campfire Seafood"

  • "You know, they need to invent somethin' for smoke in your eyes, you know? How you doing over there, Vinny- oh, yeah, m-maybe they call that goggles."
  • Brad keeps absentmindedly burning himself.
    Tip: Fire is hot.

"Brad Makes Campfire Breakfast"

  • The tricky editing makes it look like Brad cut his finger off chopping wood in the Campfire Steak video (it was while cutting the potatoes). Vinny goofs on him in the captions the entire rest of the episode.
    Brad: "Hey guys, I'm Brad Leone, and even I bleed."
    • Brad catches Vinny on his phone. Vinny's caption claims he's looking up urgent care units.
  • "Make sure you get a great shot of my a-"

"Brad Makes Campfire Ribs"

  • Brad is seen without his goobalini for one of the few times in the show. This perturbs Vinny so much he adds a piece of knit cap clipart to Brad's head.
    • Brad has a rant about winter hats with "a big puffy pom ball at the top." Vinny adds a puff to Brad's hat, then an owl flying in and swiping it away.
    "We don't roll that way, right Vinny? (High voice) Right, Brad!"

"Brad Makes Mistakes (Camping Outtakes)"

  • The whole episode is Hilarious Outtakes from the already funny camping miniseries. Brad goofing off, goofing up, making weird offhand comments.
  • "Hi, I'm Brad Leone, another useful tool..."
  • Any tips for keeping smoke out of your eyes?
    "There are no tips. It's called 'suffrage'."
    Suffrage: The right to vote in political elections.
  • Brad responds to YouTube comments:
    "Creeps."
  • Brad angrily assembles a tent to "In the Hall of the Mountain King". As one YouTube commenter points out, it's the most Brad thing to ever happen.
  • Vinny speaks.
    Brad: This is either gonna be great or terrible, huh Vin?"
    Vinny: "That's how I feel about every one of our videos."

"Brad Makes Crunchy, Half-Sour Pickles"

  • Brad makes a simple brine and smells it. He's surprised to find it "smells like wourder."
  • Brad's latest distracted turn towards the kitchen is supplanted with Matt/Vinny replacing everyone's heads with Brad's face.
  • Brad and Claire come up with a new nickname for Claire: "Half-Sour Saffitz."
    Brad: "She's a little... half-sour herself tonight."
    Claire (other side of the room): "Brad, I can hear you!"
  • Brad gets distracted multiple times on the way to get some rosebuds.
    "It's focused around rosebuds? Sounds great! Thanks, Vin."
  • "Oh, you know what I forgot, Vin?"
    Caption: "Cloves?"
  • Andy can be seen in the background visibly and anxiously wanting a pickle. The editing only emphasizes this.
    • Then Andy mentions he's not feeling well, and Brad is caught off-guard and awkwardly says "Great." Cue another awkward staredown.
    • Andy keeps popping into frame to steal the pickles.

"Brad Explores an Oyster Farm"

  • Brad's multiple bad takes at the start.
  • Brad catches Vinny not paying attention again, and Vinny's scrambles to turn the camera back to Brad.
  • Brad sprays Vinny with water, only to get some back on himself. A censor bar gets added to Brad's chest for good measure.
  • Brad finds a crab in the sorting room.
    "Hey Vinny, look! I found your relatives! Crabby bastard."
  • Vinny completely ignores what's happening later in the video and films dogs instead.
  • Vinny can be heard laughing as Brad messes up shucking an oyster.

"How To Make Sausage with Brad"

  • It's quite entertaining how much factory owner Elias Cairo is similar in personality to Brad.
  • Elias's laughs are often framed by the editing to be sinister.
  • Brad and Elias "recreate" the Ghost (1990) pottery scene. And then they can't remember that it's Demi Moore in the scene and not Whoopi Goldberg.

"Brad Makes Sauerkraut"

"Brad Makes Kimchi"

  • The title sequence includes a couple employees dancing while Brad facepalms.
  • Brad briefly struggles to put the lid on the food processor.
  • Brad says hi to Alex Lau offscreen, so Matt adds in a tiny Lau walking onscreen, saying hi back, then walking off again.
  • Friday begins with Brad, out of nowhere, telling someone: "Inappropriate. In-[beep]ing-appropriate."
  • "We'll let this go 'til Monday. Icky goo ickeh beh ike cugh ickeh-" Monday

    Season 2 

"Brad and Sean Evans Make Cast-Iron Pizza"

  • Sean brings Hot Ones' hot sauce format to the show, and Brad makes a heroic effort to handle the heat.
    Sean: "Brad, such a showman. Such a showman."
    Brad: "F[beep] the show."
    Sean: "For the people. For the people."
    Brad: "F[beep] the people."
  • Brad briefly snarks about deep dish pizzas... and promptly forgets what Sean just asked him.
  • "Sssssssssso, in the meantime..." (Cartoon snake slithers past)
  • Brad tells a story of eating a pepper casually given to him when he was young.

"Brad Makes A Knife with Bob Kramer"

  • One of the occasions where Brad says a knife makes a good gift is a funeral.
  • "To the press!"
    Critics say: Not Alive!
  • "I get an A, Vinny! First time in my life."
  • Brad's latest Malaproper: "Upsize-down".

"Brad's Top 10 Fermentation Tips"

  • Brad breaks the latch on his refractometer's case.
  • Some of Matt's best editing and timing:
    "Tip #3... Tip #Tree."
    Tree clipart appears. Brad pauses for several seconds.
    "...Oh!"
    Tree falls over and explodes right as Brad swings his head in its direction.
  • "Kills everything. Not harmful."
  • Brad tries to describe the best temperature for fermentation, but just swings wildly from 60-80 degrees. The chart gives up trying to keep track.
  • Drumming pickle. Both times.
  • "We're gonna bring up something here that people have asked about a lot."
    Vinny: Are you single?

"Brad Makes Honey"

  • Brad's constant nervousness around the bees the whole video.
  • Local dog Ruby Tuesday interrupts the intro by running up to Brad and barking. Brad happily joins in.
  • Uselessness is a trait males possess in many species.

"Brad Makes Chocolate in Ecuador: Part 1"

  • The extended drum roll in the intro.
  • (Brad picks up a cacao pod) "No cacao pod goes to waste, Vinny." (Same pod falls out of his basket)
  • Brad is highly unskilled at splitting open the cacao pods. Farmer Dunia patiently watches, looking unimpressed.
  • Jimmy's eloquent native Spanish is followed immediately by Brad's "So uh dehb wha-haa de hab dee-" (Cut)
  • Everything with the donkey.
    Brad: "We're gonna throw these on the ol' donkey, thank god."
    Jimmy: "Donkey donkey donkey donk." (To donkey, in Spanish) "[Don't worry, you're gonna be on camera.]"
    Brad (Laughing): "Thought he was gonna ride the donkey."

"Brad Makes Chocolate: Part 2"

  • "Who's better than us, Vinny?"
    The people who work here?
  • Brad getting interrupted by the loudspeaker. The second time, he drops a Precision F-Strike.

"Brad Makes Salt From Scratch"

  • "You breathe that in, it's like... Oh-pfuh-pfuh- it's a little hot!"
  • Brad goofing off in the post-video.
    • "Fishin' like hell."

"Brad and Claire Make Sourdough Bread"

  • Amiel interrupting the recording at the beginning by being silly.
    Brad: "Today on it's alive, it's getting weird."
    Amiel: "Greetings, Earthlings!"
  • Brad's tutting gets written out in Morse Code. It says "Um".
  • Deputy editor Andrew Knowlton staring at them in the background. He leaves when Brad turns around and looks at him.
  • Claire: "I've done a lot of Googling about bread."
    Vinny: Cool.
  • Brad slap-and-pulls the dough, so Matt adds a fly getting smashed under it.
  • Day 3, Claire stays home sick, so Amiel comes back to continue to weird out Brad.
  • Brad exasperatedly asking Andy "Where do you keep coming from?!"

"Brad and Babish Make Ricotta Cheese"

  • The video opens with Brad unable to say "Babish". Later he starts calling Andrew "Babby".
  • "I went to culinary school, I didn't learn anything."
  • The guys do a silly submarine bit.
    Brad: "Tank 4 flooded."
  • Andrew's not immune to the mumble/stutter onomatopoeias. He even gets his mouth magnified to show it while they're temping the cheese.
  • Once again Brad asks Claire something, in this case if she has any uses for whey, and it cuts away before she really answers.
  • Brad and Andrew's Does This Remind You of Anything? moment with the cheese bag. Andrew cradles it, Brad coughs.
  • Andrew tries dodging Vinny's camera.
  • Brad's "Bubby" anecdote awkwardly fizzles out.
  • Brad thinks "Garfield" refers to Garfield, New Jersey.

"Brad Goes Crabbing In Alaska (Part 1)"

  • Brad getting freaked out by a crab first thing in the video.
  • Brad: "That's why they call him 'Daddy'!"
    Vinny: Excuse me?
  • Vinny goofing on Brad when he's trying to catch pots.
    Vinny: "I wasn't recording that one."
    Brad: "Oh you stop it!"
  • The "big boy/bad boy" reel.
  • Brad freaking out more as he's ankle-deep in crabs.
    "Vinny, they're biting my legs!"
  • "Trade secret." (Caption: I forgot.)
  • Chad Smith appearing out of nowhere, doing a sweet fish rap, and Matt and Vinny's utter confusion at what's happening. Even better, it's not a teaser for Part 2; Chad's nowhere to be seen in the next video.
  • Brick Joke from the beginning of the video: right after the crab freaks Brad out, he immediately forgets the word "crabbing", while he's still holding the crabs.

"Brad Cooks Crabs in Alaska (Part 2)"

  • Very first sound in the video: "Yo g'ho Vin, you want me to act leig ayge yaik guhh..."
  • "Alright, Vinny pay attention- we've got a very complicated recipe for ya. So we got... salt water... and crabs."
  • "Ooh yeah." (Randy Savage appears)
  • Brad excitedly comes up with the idea of an It's Alive dog.
    Vinny: "Would you take care of it?"
    Brad: "...Oooh..." (Cut)
  • "Wanna check on the ol' crabbers real quick? ...No? Me neither."
  • Brad kicks back and enjoys the view. "Look at that sh[beep], Vince."
  • "Probably one of the best things I ever put in my mouth." (Looks awkwardly at Vince) "Oh, we'll say that again?"

"Brad Makes Giardiniera (Italian Pickle Relish)"

  • Brad goes on a rant about measuring bowls that gets cut out with the card: Shhh! Looking for sponsors...
  • Andrew Knowlton staring creepily at Brad in the background again.
  • Lactic Funk
  • Brad gets hit with a baseball. Twice.
  • Andy once again staring hungrily at what Brad's making in the background.

"Brad Makes Whole Hog BBQ with Rodney Scott"

  • Here, Vinny. I won this for you!
  • Rodney (aside to Vinny while Brad's washing his hands and whistling): "City dude. Don't work in the country. We're gonna break him in."
  • Rodney coyly hiding the dry seasoning's ingredient measurements.
    Rodney: "They're gonna rewind that and play that back all day long."
    • Then when he goes to mix them together, the salt leaks out of the container.
  • Meat Sweats
  • Brad and Vinny check out a little lizard on the fence. Brad mentions having a couple lizards when he was little.
    "I killed one by accide-" (Cut)
  • (Deep voice) "It's happening."
  • Brad gets hit in the face with a leaf while trying to look thoughtful.

"Brad Makes Beet Kvass"

  • Editor-in-chief Adam Rapaport wanders around the kitchen playing an acoustic guitar, and he needles Brad in the Cold Open. Briefly the picture on the wall is replaced with one of young Adam with a guitar and wearing a KISS shirt.
  • "Let me know in the ol' comments. I love those." (Comments pop up insulting Brad)
  • Brad: "Audible."
    Caption: Use promo code "wourder" to get 15% off at Audib- just kidding. But like, call us...
  • On a non-sequitor about rattlesnake bites, Brad muses that "antivenom" sounds like A Good Name for a Rock Band.
    Brad: What do they do? Shred beets. Ha! I'll be here all day, fol-
    Caption: Thank you for tuning in to "It's Alive". We regret to inform you the show has been canceled. *(Bon Appetit closing screen)*
  • Carla and Andy have an inaudible conversation in the background, which the editing of course "improves" with visual and sound effects.
  • Brad Makes A Mess
  • A cartoon beet slides into view. Brad: "Oh hey, what's up, bud?"
  • This silly bit of YouTube Poop-esque sentence mixing: "It's been one week- since- you- looked- at- me-"
  • Brad opens a bottle of kvass with a nice, big, carbonated pop. Gaby remarks off camera:
    "Ah! La p*** madre! You scared me!"

"Brad and Babish Make Kombucha Miso BBQ Sauce"

  • Andrew and Brad's chemistry is even better this time around.
  • Brad once again takes a swing and a miss at pronouncing "Binging with Babish" in the Cold Open.
  • Brad tries to explain the expression about idle hands to Andrew. Andrew proceeds to lotion up his hands (for the completely unrelated reason of moisturizing a new tattoo), which catches Brad by surprise.
  • "Always refrigerate your paper towels, okay? Gotta keep them cold."
  • Andrew confusedly attempts to get a measuring cup into a jar of tomato paste.
  • Andrew "casually" holding down the blender lid while Brad talks to the camera.
  • Turns out the can of chipotles they used expired three years ago in 2015.
  • The captions try to preemptively say "Ooooh mama", but Brad keeps instead saying "Ooooh boy" or "baby".
  • "bhnnahbtedt"
  • Andrew trying to hose an ear of corn and just splashing it on himself.
    Andrew: "I'm not familiar with your hose protocol."
    Brad: "Ain't never been prouder in my life."
    Andrew: "Thanks, Dad."

"Brad and Matty Matheson Make Fish Tacos"

  • Brad and Matty say they're using halibut, so editor Matt shows off Wikipedia's Atlantic Halibut photo, wonky eyes and all.
    [It's]...beautiful.
  • A "halibut" hops out of the microwave at Brad.
  • Matty recalls working at a "fake fine dining" restaurant, where the microwave was used for everything and called "Chef Mike". His assessment of that mess: "f[beep] it- the world!"
  • Matty pats the tortilla dough, prompting some bongo hits. Brad also pats it but gets an additional loud slap.
  • Brad asks if he can call Matty "Matters", and Matty says "yeah", but then Brad asks if he has nicknames, and Matty gives an awkward "No...?"
  • Spice blend ingredients include "what the hell else".
  • Amiel is seen in the background once again dressed wildly, and the caption points to him with Ringo?
  • Some more YouTube Poop-ish editing with "how's the continuity?"
  • "He's alone!" "He's alone!" "Hee's alloone!"
  • Claire Saffitz: Celebrity Vlogger
  • Brad has a postcard from Vinny on his "office" wall saying "Thank you for being a friend." It's a picture of Brad's face photoshopped onto Bea Arthur's in a The Golden Girls cast photo.
  • Brad has a story about his dad, which immediately gets skipped.
  • While Matty is looking on his phone, a screen is added of him Googling "Who is Brad Leone?"
  • Matty: "Is that all we do now? Are we done? Thanks Brad! It's Alive!"
    Shot of a fish taco: I mean, this one isn't...
  • Brad and Matty discussing how much they like radishes.
    Matty: "If I was on a desert island, it'd be a radish that'd be my last meal."
    Brad: "Ooh, ice cold? With a little salt?"
    Matty (thoroughly unimpressed): "No... God dammit..."

"Brad Makes Miso Paste"

  • Brad and Amiel discussing the absurd length a miso episode would take to be made, except Brad has already made some miso.
    Amiel (yelling at the camera): "This whole show is a lie!"
  • "I could miso you, Vinny." Danger horn
  • "You can get this on [SHOP LOCAL].com."
  • Brad stumbling over how much strained liquid he has causes the cartoon chalkboard to catch fire.
  • "...I like to get one with a bit of a flat bottom. Just like you, Vi-" Cut
  • WRONG FRIDGE
  • Brad gets distracted by Claire pounding out dough on the other side of the kitchen.
  • The certainty meter, ranging from "Certain" to "I believe", to "You know", to "Uhh", to "Might wanna Google that."
  • "I'll save this, I'll do this later."
    He did it now.
  • Brad's thumbs-up get switched around.
  • Brad and Vinny go into the fridge, and Brad forgets why he went in there.
  • Brad goofing on Andrew Knowlton's sweater. The face Andrew makes when he turns and sees the camera is also hilarious.

"Brad Makes Sourdough Pizzelle Cookies"

  • The sitcom-style credit of Brad in the intro, complete with him turning to the camera and smiling.
  • Brad cannot handle Molly disliking chocolate but liking white chocolate.
  • "$3, suckers."
  • Brad tries to come up with an alternate use for the batter when the first pizzelles fail.
    "...Just eat it. Or you can swirl it into... your yogurt... That's disgusting."
  • "PAM it harder."
  • Brad needs Claire's help, and the whole time she's anxious because she was already late for a meeting.
  • Brad celebrates the first successful pizzelle. Claire? "It's a little burnt..."
  • Claire: "In cooking, if something isn't working, just wait longer. Just be patient, in other words." (Patience) "Can I go now?" (Impatience)
  • "No one said it was gonna be easy." (Plays the two times he says it's easy)
  • Brad cleaning the mold with a knife.
    Vinny: "Like ASMR."
    (Brad drops the knife in the sink) *enormous crash sound*
    Brad (sarcastic): "It's just like ASMR."
  • "Like a baby's head- soft when it comes out, thank God. Very forgiving."

"Brad Makes Pickled Fermented Eggs"

  • Andy looks like he's choking in the Cold Open, and Brad unsympathetically tells him "Go to the nurse's office."
  • "Funky eggs." (Eggs playing funk appear) "They're delicious." (Eggs stop playing and look horrified)
  • Ingredients: Normal Eggs, Nice Eggs
  • Brad swatting away a clipart football.
  • Vinny flashes back to the pickle episode, when Brad somehow wore the exact same outfit while once again talking about allicin.
  • "Back to the table, VEHN-CHEHN-ZOW."
    That's a new one...
  • Claire and Gaby are talking as Brad walks by.
    Brad: "Stop... gossiping!"
    Gaby: "We're talking about you. Just so you know."
    Brad: "Carry on."
  • The "Hmm" harmony.
  • "We'll pop these into the fermentation 'shtation'..."
  • "It's been..." One week? "It's been..." 84 years? (Brad pauses. Sudden cut saying 3 DAYS.)
  • "Nothing wrong with a little black pepper in your egg salad, you know what I mean, Vince?"
    Vinny: I...don't know what you wouldn't mean...
  • Ingredients: Top secret meuhhhhh
  • Amiel: "Yeah, I'd do anything for you, Brad."
  • Amiel suggests using less-cooked, more jammy eggs with a knowing smile and raised eyebrows.
  • Brad: "Chop this up- let's feed the gang." (Turns around, barely anyone is in the kitchen.)
  • Tons of ridiculous animations fly over Brad as he toasts the spices. "Is this enough action for ya?"
  • Cut back to Andy from the intro, who just wanted to try the mustard. "Oh my god, there's hair, for God's sakes!"

"Brad Makes Beef Jerky"

  • The evil laugh in the Cold Open.
  • Gaby shows off an Applegate "The Cleaner Wiener" shirt in the theme.
  • "We're gonna make two types of jerky today, Vince." (Sudden evil eyes)
  • Brad smells the meat.
    Brad: "Smells great."
    Vinny: That's raw, unseasoned meat...
  • Brad talking about Salt Bae, perhaps the most "dad" thing he's done yet.
  • "You speak Jersey." (Awkward pause)
  • Brad makes a meat heart for Vinny. Then coldly slits it in half.
    This is a dark one...
  • It's Dead!
  • A tiny animated T-Rex walks into screen.
    Brad: "How's it goin'? Great work yesterday."
  • "Basket hound"
  • Vinny uses a lower camera angle, so Brad immediately starts imitating Andrew Rea, then blows Andrew a kiss.
    "You said 'Babish'! I wasn't British!"
  • Brad tells Vinny not to touch anything in the walk-in, so Vinny fiddles with the jerky once Brad leaves. "No no no no. GET OUT."
  • Brad yelling at Chris about all of the stuff in the walk-in. "A whole freakin' half a ham."
  • "I love caring." (Looks away unconvincingly)
  • The T-Rex comes back.
  • "Selp helf"
  • "Ed Geeein" that "crazy cereal"
  • "We don't play with our food." (Flashback to "It's dead!")
  • Amiel once again being a weirdo. "Love jerky. That's not true, I don't actually like jerky that much." And Amiel Stanek: Lizard Boy.
  • Amiel says it's the first jerky he's really loved.
    Brad: "We're not paying him."
    Vinny: Does...he not work here?
  • Rachel: "How long does it last?"
    Brad: "Oh" = Uh-oh
    "for a good, good" = stalling
    "while" = I will not be held legally responsible
  • "Vinny, can you hear me? Wink if it's a 'yes'. Wink twice if you need help. Oh sh[beep]!"
  • "Jerry [Garcia] likes jerky." "Is that true?" "I dunno, he's dead."

    Season 3 

"Brad Makes Mustard"

  • Chris Morocco says Brad's mustard is the best thing he's ever made. Brad finds that "borderline insulting".
  • "I have a couple altercations that I've made..."
    Altercation: a noisy, heated, angry dispute.
  • The ingredients list gets so long the text knocks the coffee cup off the cartoon art.
  • Stool: [screaming]
  • Brad's nervousness at putting his fingers in the coffee grinder. As a goof on him, a cobra gets added in.
  • "Then we just mix them all together. 'Whallah'!"
    Jersey: whallah
    French: voilà
  • "Super soupy" (Da-na-na-naaaa! ...Crash, chicken noises)
  • "They're the delicious"
  • Catching up to when Chris compliments the mustard:
    Brad: "It's hard to get Chris to say that. We definitely didn't pay him."
    Vinny: Have we been bribing other people?
  • "Oh, goop it on." (Gwyneth Paltrow's head pops on a Bring It On poster)
  • "And Chris Morocco." (Chris, wearing earphones, finger guns at the camera) "Headphones in the kitchen. (Whispering) Serial killer!"

"Brad Makes Garlic Miso"

  • The test kitchen is unusually empty.
    Brad: "Gaby showed up, though!"
    Gaby: "For breakfast."
    Brad: "Oh, geez..."
  • The weird gestures Brad makes during the theme. The Smash Cut is perfectly timed too.
  • Brad casually flips Vinny off, censored by garlic.
  • "One day, Vinny, we'll have a nice plot of land..."
    Vinny: "'We'll'?"
  • Brad talking about the animals that have ruined his garden.
    "I had a groundhog, but I evicted him."
  • Brad keeps false-starting his spiel about allicin.
  • "Same exact thing."
    Transition card: SAME EXACT THING
  • Brad's weird face when he tastes the miso. The camera zooms in for good measure.
  • "He said he loves me"
  • Brad stops to mention to Vinny "You seem very sad."
  • Brad: (To Amiel and Gaby) "Hey, you guys want some miso soup?"
    Amiel: "Yes, I thought you would never ask."
    Vinny: Uh, how long have you been there, Amiel?
  • Brad: "And if you want, you can drop some garlic in there, too."
    Amiel: (Laughing) "You say that about everything! It's like your kid's first birthday, you're making cake: 'Oh, put some garlic on there if you want'."
  • Brad says "Thank you for joining, my friends" to Amiel and Gaby, as the camera zooms on them both in awkward positions of eating the soup.
  • "Puberty"
  • Alex comes out of nowhere and tries to get Brad to throw some garlic at him so he can hit it with a sheet pan like a baseball.
    Alex Delaney
    Troublemaker

"Brad Forages for Porcini Mushrooms"

  • Brad opens the video by growling at Vinny like a dog.
  • "The...'duff'...?"
  • The "fungus friends" undermine their qualifications a bit, complete with a sarcastic countdown. A caption defining "natural selection" then pops up.
    Colin: "Is it an avocado pit?"
    Vinny: Ah, we're gonna die.
  • "This is the Green Cap Wilson!" (tennis ball) "Known for its bounce." "Dog's love it."
  • "Maggots?"
  • Brad takes a very long time to ask "Why do you use a basket?" The agonizing subtitling sells it.
  • *Congestion*
  • Matt edits in the sound of a bear in the distance. "Think our buddies are this way, Vince."
  • "Oh well" - Foraging proverb
  • Vinny's "Pretty Starving" dad joke gets Vaudeville Hooked offscreen.
  • The out-of-nowhere CGI mushroom animation transition
    Brad: "So we just picked these mushrooms..."
    Vinny: And spent our VFX budget for the year.
  • "Well, you know it's good when no one's talking, Vince."
    Vinny: Not true of the show.
  • "Cat's out of the hat... Cat's out of the 'bag'? Why was the cat in a bag?"
  • "We did stumble across a couple of those Alice in Wonderland mushrooms."
    Vinny: Allicin?
  • Brad completely mangles "Over the River and Through the Wood", Goldilocks, and Little Red Riding Hood at the same time. Matt adds in a woman watching on her laptop and gasping in horror.
  • Brad goofing with the moss mustache.

"Brad Makes Black Garlic"

  • "Sexual healing, baby!"
  • Andy whacks a bowl in the Cold Open.
    Andy: "Today on It's Alive!, we're making black garlic!"
    *ANDY DOES NOT APPEAR IN THE REST OF THIS EPISODE
  • Gaby wearing a clove of garlic as a necklace and brushing her face with it.
  • Brad gets disrupted by Molly using a blender. Her sheepish face is hilarious.
    Brad: "...We'll just wait for that, huh?"
  • "Also, I-" (Fast forward)
  • "Whenever Bon Appetit fires me, I'm taking [my cactus] home with me." (Smile, thumbs-up)
  • "Hoof!" (A horse hoof pops up)
  • The "Maillard" Bonus Round and the Excitement to Say "Maillard" meter
  • Brad: "There's one thing we learned: allicin in garlic, and oxygen kills us all."
    Vinny: Math is a work in progress...
  • Gaby catches the pasta for Brad, lovingly calling it a baby.
    Vinny: This place is weird...
  • Chris: "It's just like making pasta with my grandma. Lotta yelling. Yelling's the first ingredient."
  • Mild existential dread in 3...2...1...
  • Brad playing pretend tennis with a pan and clipart garlic.
    NOBODY'S WATCHING
  • Gaby poking her lip with a fork
    Gaby: "Am I bleeding already?"
    Brad: "What the hell, Gaby, you're getting weirder and weirder! I like it."
  • Chris reveals that the black garlic Brad made was so-called "the fire hazard".
  • While Brad finally reveals his pet theory about garlic and vampires, a cartoon vampire keeps popping in, fully presenting itself at one point where Brad pauses for several seconds.

"Brad Goes Pheasant Hunting"

  • GOOD BOY
  • Elias launches a clay bird for the hell of it while Brad's talking.
  • Brad: "So we're gonna dust off some of the guns here and get me oiled up..."
    Vinny: Excuse me?
  • "Ohh, he's nasty!"
  • The dogs Leather and Utah's occupation: good boy
  • Elias slips and misses a bird.
    (Sheepishly) "I fell... Fat, sweaty Greek dude, falling down." (To Leather) "Sorry your dad's an idiot."
  • Elias: "[Leather]'s like, 'What's with all this camera stuff, Pops?'"
    Vinny: I'm gonna make you a star, Leather...
  • Brad: "What's that thing you always say, Vince? It's like, 'Clear head, open hearts' or some sh[beep]?"
    Vinny: Nope, but that explains a lot.
  • Vinny surprises Elias walking up behind him. "Whoa, I thought you were a bird."
  • The attempt at "doggy vision" immediately fails.
  • Goobalini Cam
  • When the hunting's done:
    Brad: "Sound speed."
    Elias: "Know what that means?"
    Brad: "No."
    Elias: "Me neither." (They both laugh)

"Brad Prepares and Cooks Pheasant"

  • Brad pretends to not know who Vinny is in the Cold Open.
    "Get out of my garden!"
  • "Let's go see... 'Let's go [beep]in' see' - who says that?"
  • Brick Joke from the last part: Brad and Elias still don't know what "sound speed" means.
  • "We did super well." (Short montage of Elias falling down and Brad pulling the wrong trigger)
  • Utah and Leather stand around the whole episode, patiently waiting for pheasant parts that they just never get. Vinny and Matt point them out every time.
  • "If you're not using the hurl-"
  • For the first time on the show, "water" is subtitled as "water" (via Elias).
  • Elias: "Confit is mat- er, meat- 'mat'..."
    Matt: Hey.
  • Elias asks how many pounds the meat weighs, and Brad swats away a clipart scale while eyeballing the weight.
  • Brad Keeps His Job
  • Elias compliments Brad, calling him "lean and mean." Brad responds "Well, I've seen the oyster episode, but..."
  • The yellowjacket
  • Happy B-on Appetit
  • "Off the record, I am definitely cutting his [beep]hole out."

"Brad Makes Olive Oil (In Italy!)"

  • Brad's goofy expressions played in slow motion in the intro.
  • The manipulated, awkward staredown returns.
  • Matt makes a Stupid Statement Dance Mix out of Matteo, then apologizes in a caption for it.
  • Brad's attempts to pronounce "Scuotitore", the first of which he abandons immediately.
  • Brad's attempt to be friendly with owner Franco fails immediately when Franco tells him he doesn't speak English.
  • "Should I pretend like I don't know what's gonna happen?"
  • Brad keeps saying "olio nuovo" wrong.
  • "Here comes the sun."
    (Song starts playing, for one second)
    That's all we could afford.
    (Song resumes) Kidding, it's royalty-free.
  • Brad's outro monologue gets jumbled. He ends up repeating most of it, Matt gets annoyed at having to loop the background music, and his rules for olive oil are:
    Don't(?) use itnote 
    It's not wine
    Don't sit on it
    Use it, use it, use it
    • Eventually Matt skips and speeds up most of the second half of the outro, uses completely different stock footage, and slows the song down 10% to buy extra time.
    Brad: "It's so much more than just olive oil."
    You're telling me.
    I'm running low on B-roll...

"Brad Makes Focaccia Bread with Samin Nosrat"

  • Samin has practically the same goofy energy as Brad, so they get along great and bounce off each other well, and Hunziker gives her the same funny subtitling and clip art as Brad. Her having lost her voice only makes it funnier. She even starts the video by giving him bunny ears.
  • Brad has so much trouble saying the name of Samin's book and show: "Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat". His first attempt is a flat "Uh, ceugh- sh[beep]!"
  • Samin takes over for Brad: "I wrote a book: Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat. We made a show. We went to Italy, Brad watched it, he said, 'Samin! Can you teach me how to make this focaccia?' And I said, 'If you pay me $20,000'."
  • Once again, "water" gets captioned as actually "water", via Samin.
  • "Shhh shooompa doopa doopa doop"
  • Brad says bagels in New York taste different because of "subway hands" (the local microbes getting into the dough). Gaby's exasperated by this.
  • Brad still can't pronounce "Sauvie Island".
  • The honey very slowly pours out.
    Samin (laughing): "That's gonna take a hundred years!"
    100 Years Later...
  • Samin points out Hunziker as he passes by. He edits in his social media accounts.
    Samin: "That's our guy!"
    Brad: "Oh, Hunzi. We're not allowed to show him."
  • *Italian adjacent gibberish*
  • Vinny audibly laughs when Samin says "Videos take... years here."
  • "Glute'n stretch, stretch your glutes."
  • Flashback to Sue Li from the first episode saying "Today's f[beep]in'-"
  • Samin: "It's gonna rise again."
    Brad: "Like Jesus."
    Samin: "Yeah, like Jesus."
  • Brad keeps beating himself up over messing up transporting the swap.
    Samin: "I think you need to forgive yourself."
  • Samin, as her voice quickly disappears. "You pour [the brine] over and bake the crap out of it!" The subtitles get smaller as she says it.
  • Samin parrots Brad's "wourder".
  • Brad's incomprehensibility leads to Samin hearing "For all I know, there's dead skin [in the air]" as "A guy I know has dead skin."
  • Brad insists on using a different swap.
    Samin: "I'm getting confused on the lies and deception!"
    Brad: "No, there's no lies!"
    Vinny: A smidge of deception.
  • Brad gets freaked out at Samin violently poking the dough, complete with Scare Chord.
  • "Wow"
  • Vinny disrupts Brad advertising his wood design shop (3 Dot Design) by moving the bottle of oil out of the shot.
  • Brad gets really excited when Samin wants to see his fermentation projects. Chris in-turn really wants some more mustard.
  • Samin: "I think we'll be ready to put the thing in the thing soon."
    Vinny: Sounds good!
  • Brad says he doesn't speak that much Italian.
    Samin: "You don't really speak that much English, either."
  • Samin is overjoyed at seeing Carla and glomps her.
    Vinny: Bye, Brad!
  • Samin: "If there was ever a show to do with no voice, it would be Brad's show."
    Carla: "'Cause he's talking the whole time."
    Vinny: Hahaha
  • Hunziker's added emojis and captions while Samin and Carla are talking. "Buttah"
  • Brad talking about his old deli job. "It's where I fell in love with deli slicers. The art of cuttin' things real thin, Vinny."
    Vinny: And you've been cutting it close ever since!
  • Vinny gets impatient and asks in the captions "Where's Samin?". Then Brad mentions Ed Gein again, and they cut away with Aaaanyway...
  • Samin: "I'm a little disappointed with how quiet it is here." *Loud crashing sound*
  • Samin's scream is accompanied by an eagle "2 miles away".
  • Brad continues to screw up saying "Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat".
  • Brad calls for Sue.
    Gaby: "Don't talk to her, she said."
  • Brad shows Samin some of the things hanging over the counter.
    Brad: "And Vinny wanted to take this stuff down!"
    Vinny: Listen, either these go, or I d— too soon?
  • The closing exchange nicely sums up It's Alive as a whole:
    Samin: "Are you going to fact check that?"
    Brad: "Huh?"

"Brad and Gaby Make Beef Empanadas"

  • Brad's job title: Wait, what does he do now...
  • Chris has a hell of a Funny Background Event dancing and pretending to sing into his tongs while Gaby gives her intro. When she's done, the video rewinds to zoom in on him, adding in a rock song and the silhouette of a cheering audience. Extra funny is how he slowly appears from behind Brad.
  • Brad Leone Bingo, loaded with callbacks and running gags. The square marked is "Disregard for food safety".
  • Gaby says she's 49.
    Brad: "Alright! Rock 'n' roll!" (Chris singing into the tongs pops in and out)
  • Gaby: "I'm Brad Leone's friend! Aaaaah!" (Immediately stonefaced)
  • Gaby: "That's more than enough. Stop that. Stop that sh[beep] right now."
  • Brad admits he's always wanted a nose stud, like Tupac Shakur.
    Vinny: Lots to unpack here...
  • Everyone's excited to see Chris' Uncle John from Las Vegas.
  • Gaby: "I drink a lot of water. Where do you think I've been all day?" *To camera* "Sorry, don't-!" *Cut*
  • Brad continues to treat Alex "Delaney!" as his Sitcom Archnemesis. Alex just gives a cheerful smile and thumbs-up to the camera. Brad turns back to him with a sneer.
  • Brad: "Let's do these bad boys- show me the way!" (Empanadas fly into the mouths of clipart Bad Boys and Peter Frampton)
  • (continuity error)
  • Gaby, as test kitchen manager, decides "This is my show now! It's Dead."
  • Gaby (in Spanish): "I thought I was going to speak Spanish in this video."
    Brad (attempting Spanish): "Yes, Cousin!"
    Gaby (in Spanish): "They're going to make me translate everything I say."
    Brad: "No."
    Gaby: "Si!"
    (They both look to the camera and laugh)
  • Brad gifts Gaby with her own goobalini.
    Gaby: "Can I keep it?!"
    Brad: "No."
    Gaby: "It's f[beep]ing hot to my brain."
    Brad: "Don't- don't overthink it."
    Vinny: That could explain a lot...
  • Brad describes why he originally hired Gaby.
    "She was very friendly. And you can't teach that." (Elias Cairo's head flies in and out)
  • Brad: "You can't teach people how to be nice people. I mean, look at Andy."
    Andy: "Don't say that! Oh my god!"

"Brad and Priya Make Yogurt"

  • STABILIZATION CALIBRATION
  • Priya: "How many times do you record this intro?"
    Brad: "Thousands. It's literally the hardest part. Priya, I can't even say a full sentence from start to finish. It's very challenging."
  • "The vehicle service center?"
  • Recipe -> Detour
  • HOW TO MAKE YOGURT
    - 4 cups yogurt
    - All done!
    - I'm sorry
    - F'uhuhhh
    - Milk
    - Whole mi'k
    - 4 cups full fat milk
  • The "Brad skeptical of dairy" counter. Later it says "Brad, who hosts a show on food rot, skeptical of dairy".
  • The entire "ole man" vs "old man" detour. Chris calls Brad "old man", and Brad diverts back out of it with "Let's watch the milk boil!"
  • Brad: "Most fermented things, or live, cultured things, are good for your butt- 'your butt...'
    (Wah-wah horn on Priya's surprised face)
    Brad: "Your gut biome."
    Priya: "I mean, ultimately your butt."
  • Priya: "Did my dad write 'Brad' on it?"
  • Priya's dad advertises and brands his yogurt like a salesman, naming Brad's yogurt "Noo Yawk" yogurt, and nicknaming Brad "Brad Dawg".
  • Brad: "Yeah, you know, accidents happen."
    Vinny: That should have been the name of the show...
  • Priya asks Brad why his parents named him "Brad". He mentions some other potential names, including "Biff". which shocks Priya.
  • There's a fire out of nowhere. Nobody does anything about it. Chris even points and laughs at it to camera. Vinny soon turns away from what Brad and Priya are talking about to zoom in on it again before the scene cuts.
  • Priya nearly describes how an episode of It's Alive usually is, never quite saying the word, so the captions give her options like Chaos? Pandemonium? Anarchy?
    Brad: "I guess you've never watched it."
    RUDE?
  • Priya calls her dad, Shailendra, to show him the yogurt. She says he's not expecting the call, "so we'll see what state of dress he's in." Sure enough, he answers shirtless.
  • Brad is so jazzed that Priya and Shailendra are happy with the yogurt, but not enough to be distracted by some poorly-stored herbs.
    "What kind of sick monster?!"
  • Priya's mom coined the term "chuck" to describe the yogurt's consistency, and Priya admits she can't think of any other context it would be used. Brad thinks it sounds like what her mom would call her dad after he did a bunch of push-ups.
    Brad (laughing): "Sorry, sorry for bringing you there."
    Vinny: Oh dear...
    Priya: "That was a weird- a weird picture. That's fine."
    Chris (walking up): "The hell are you talking about?!"
    Priya: "He's making inappropriate jokes about my parents!"
    • Chris loves the yogurt, and Priya asks if he would describe it as "chuck."
    Chris: "It's definitely chuck! Now I get it!"
  • Brad has the goobalini off, so Matt censors his face.
    "Hang on, I'm not in wardrobe!"
  • Alex Lau does an impression of Alex Grossman.
    "R.I.P."
    (He's fine)

"Brad Makes Yuzu Kosho"

  • The video's Cold Open is Brad taking a picture of the yuzu kosho for Instagram and immediately dropping his phone.
  • Whenever Brad says to use a "hot chile", a picture of one of the Red Hot Chili Peppers pops up.
  • Vinny tries to get Brad to rub his eye while cutting the chiles.
    Brad: "Was there really something in my eye?"
    Vinny: "No."
    Brad: "Oh, you're a great friend."
  • Chris Morocco
    Safety Respecter
  • Brad goes on a confused detour about Nelly Furtado. Molly briefly pops in out of nowhere to talk about listening to her in her carpool. Then Brad confuses "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer for one of her songs, causing Chris to start laughing behind him, embarrassed.
  • Brad asks Andy for some help. Andy immediately takes his shirt off.
    Andy Baraghani
    Senior F- What's Happening
  • Andy admits that he's a little sleepy. The whole rest of the video, Matt goofs on him by zooming in on his dazed face and playing lullabies or sad music.
  • Brad gets caught lying about washing the yuzu, and Matt makes an accusatory production out of it.
    Brad: "You guys are gonna f[beep] me on this one."
    (Gasping woman from the porcini episode comes back)
  • Editor-in-Chief Adam Rapoport appears in the background looking at what Chris is cooking. All that's heard from him is "Just for the hell of it?"
  • Brad Leone Bingo comes back with "Big Boys".
  • Adam gives Brad a fist bump for his idea of yuzu kosho shrimp.
    BRAD KEEPS
    HIS JOB
  • Brad, coughing from the chiles and yuzu, says, "That's probably good for you. Maybe not." Chris, who seems to have been listening in the background the whole episode, starts laughing again.
  • Brad growls at Alex "Delaney" like a dog.
    "He's always coming down here. Trying to eat my shrimp."
  • "My dearest Emily..." Already hilariously weird and out-of-nowhere; even funnier when Brad cuts it off with "-What's the date?!"
  • Amiel Stanek
    Senior Food Sniffer
    "Me-ow mix."
  • Vinny and Matt continue zooming in on Andy sleepily staring off into the distance.
  • Brad: "Did we talk about color?"
    Vinny: Constantly.
  • Brad says "Alright, Brad" to himself. One commenter notes that this means he's gone too Brad.
  • The sound effect cat is followed by Brad going "meow" himself.
  • The callbacks to Samin and "Biff Leone".
  • Brad apparently missed the bad side of Biff's time travel in Back to the Future Part II.
  • The video ends on unused footage from the Alaska crab episodes of Brad and Vinny getting on a seaplane. Brad being Brad, he has trouble with the seat belt.
    Brad: "Why does this always happen to me?"

"Brad and Claire Make Doughnuts Part 1"

  • The reel of Brad asking Claire for advice while she's trying to make gourmet Starbursts in her own video. The final clip is clearly near the end of her filming, when she was completely fed up with everything.
    Brad (off-camera): "Hey, Claire."
    Claire: "What do you need, Brad?"
    Brad (audibly awkward): "Well...!"
  • Claire: "It's gained a ton of volume, and it's just on the verge of collapsing."
    Matt: Same.
  • Snake in the trash.
  • Brad trying to say "brioche". Later he says he pronounces "rotisserie" as "rotissererie".
    Claire: "Oh, that's my favorite. Because that's not pronunciation; that's just wrong."
  • Brad goes on a long tangent about Claire learning to drive a five-speed car.
    Matt: I can go pick up some doughnuts if that's easier?
  • After another long tangent about Tom Berenger and the movies he's in:
    Matt: Look, if you're trying to make doughnuts, you clicked on the wrong video.
  • Brad gets a call from "Deborah?!" and nearly drops his phone (yuzu).
  • Brad's form of optimism gets a visual representation, and a pretty good example of who he is: he's a "jar 2/3rds full" guy.
    Half empty: pessimist
    Half full: optimist
    2/3 full: missing the point, but with a great attitude
  • Claire: "Brad likes to invite me onto the show, tell me how to live my life, and then ignores all my expert advice."
  • Brad wanders off to get the lid to the container, and he walks back with it fanning himself, causing the air to blow into his mic the entire time.
  • Claire having no patience for Brad and Matt when it's time to pull the dough.
  • When the footage crosses over with Claire's Starburst video, Matt has to point out that he and fellow cameraman Kevin are "Not Vinny", and they give each other a high-five while Brad and Claire continue to bicker over Brad's awful dough folding.
    • In The Stinger, we learn that Gaby also interrupted recording by turning on the blender.
  • Catching up to the awkward "Well..." from the start, the director of Gourmet Makes says "We can't do this again."
  • Claire doesn't notice Matt follow her into the walk-in and makes her jump.
  • The preview for part 2 promises a disaster.

"Brad and Claire Make Doughnuts Part 2: The Disaster"

  • Brad catches Hunzi before he can scare him in the walk-in like he just did with Claire, or like Vinny did early in the series.
    Brad Leone
    Peek-A-Boo Champ 2K19
  • The entire first 6 minutes is Brad trying to be entertaining while they wait for Claire, who's 45 minutes late.
    • He tells the story of "the Donut King", a rat he found dead in a pile of Dunkin Donuts. When Claire finally arrives, she wants Brad to tell the story, not aware that he already has.
    • Claire thought the call time was 9:30 rather than 9, and she blames Hunzi for telling her that, to which he adds in a visual of her throwing his name under a bus.
    • The intro theme finally happens almost 7 minutes into the video.
  • *Crickets*
  • "The Vanilla Bean Situation", which Hunzi visualizes as a 70s soft rock band with Brad, Claire and Chris's faces put onto the people in the stock photo.
  • Hunzi keepis count of all the spoons Chris takes out of a drawer.
  • Brad is visibly confused by Chris' phrasing of "frosting motifs".
  • Claire melting over Toby Goofy is disrupted by her hearing Brad ask for "loose honey".
  • Hunzi makes sure to tell Claire he's behind her as she goes into the walk-in.
  • Brad and Claire's walk-and-talk is captioned "This shot directed by Aaron Sorkin".
  • Brad is childishly against putting sprinkles on the donuts.
  • Brad's test donuts the day before were apparently perfect.
    "Chris was like, 'Oh, they're heavenly'- he broke out an English accent."
  • While trying to put one of the donuts into the oil, one of them also flings a wooden dowel into the pot.
  • EVERYTHING SUCKS with Brad Leone
  • Brad tries to enthuse Claire with a bit of his "jar 2/3rds-full" lifestyle, until he's distracted by an old guy in the background.
    "It's a lifestyle- who's that guy?"
  • Claire, still recovering from the Starburst debacle earlier in the day, checks out while Brad closes the video. She also comically rolls her chair in-and-out of the shot during.
    Brad: "Alright, lemme just break it down."
    Hunzi: We have enough breakdowns going on actually...
  • Their hopeful plans of trying again later are ruined by Hunzi needing to catch a flight that boards in two hours.
    We were supposed to be done three hours ago.
  • Brad: "How are you with Starbursts."
    DON'T MENTION STARBURSTS
  • Brad gets caught getting a text from someone, and he and Claire lose it. Claire spits her water back into her jar.
  • The "snake" in the bin bites Claire.

"Brad and Claire Make Doughnuts Part 3: Redemption"

  • Brad wants to pick Claire's brain about the south of France, where he's going on vacation to soon.
    Claire: "We've talked about it, like, eight times."
    Brad: "Oh..."
    (Gaby laughs in Brad's face)
  • Brad: "Remember last time, they were sinking to the bottom."
    Hunzi: Last time we were all sinking to the bottom.
  • Chris does a little happy dance in anticipation of donuts. The song that plays is "Doughnuts for Days" by the Vanilla Bean Situation.
  • Brad gets so excited that his New Jersey accent hits a peak. Except for one second that Hunzi identifies as Irish.
  • 56 minutes into the doughnut series...we have a doughnut!
  • "Keeple goddle keepa cuppel plain too."
  • "Son of a...bitch, this is working out!"
  • Brad asks what should be put on the next donuts... then ignores Claire's suggestion and puts on more honey.
  • Brad's "Chocolate E-Claire" pun gets nothing from Claire, but Chris gives a "Ha!" from the other side of the room.
    Brad: "Chris got it! He's a dad."
    Hunzi: Telling jokes at frequencies only dads can hear...
  • BLATANTLY IGNORES THE MENTION OF SPRINKLES
  • Claire: "I love the ring- look at the ring!"
    Claire Saffitz
    Doughnut Gollum
  • One of Hunzi's cables gets stuck on an oven door.
  • Chris's donut bliss.
    Chris: "It burns. But it burns in a good way."
    Chris Morocco
    Finally Happy
  • Claire tries to talk when Brad loudly interrupts her.
    Brad: "To the bench!"
    Claire: "I'm... literally in the middle of saying..."
  • Alex Delany
    Scram, Kid
  • Claire: "I can't reveal too much about my process. And don't question my methods."
  • Brad: "It was actually quite steppy, as we all found out."
    Hunzi: I have aged 1000 years.
  • wAtch your prOfAnity...
  • Claire steps away to do something else.
    Claire Saffitz
    Leaving Show Business to Eat Vegetables
  • Claire: "And if we didn't serve donuts to this test kitchen, there was going to be a mutiny."
    Brad: "Or if we didn't deliver a video, I probably would have gotten fired."
    Hunzi: Well, we inexplicably got three.
  • Claire: "This whole day is off the rails."
    Brad: "No, this was great- this was a home-run, Claire!"
    Claire: "I just ate a piece of donut with steak on it."
    Brad: "Yeah. Things are working out for you."
  • Brad: "Super easy to make once you dial it all in."
    HaHaHaHaHa
    HaHaHaHaHaHa
    HaHaHaHaHa
    No no no no no.
  • Brad blames the previous failed shoot on Hunzi needing to catch a flight.
    Hunzi: Well, I learned nothing and have another flight today...
    • Hunzi tells Claire where he's going (Paris, Skopje, and Rome, complete with him filming himself in said locations). Claire just stands mouth agape for a few seconds before waving him off with a sarcastic "All right...".
    Brad: "Yeah, sucks being him, right?"
  • The entire time Brad and Claire try to get Hunzi a donut to take with him. The one they choose looks so cute in its container that Brad punches the table.
  • Brad and Claire talk about how much they love Bruce Springsteen.
  • Brad starts lecturing Claire on sheet metal, to which Hunzi turns on the outro music to drown him out as the video ends.

    Goin' Places Season 1 

"Brad Goes Ranching in Texas"

  • The epic, dramatic intro is rendered a disaster by Brad being Brad. One time the "orchestra" gets thrown off by him and lets out an off-key blast of horns. Shortly after, Vinny audibly starts laughing.
  • Brad talks about how the bison have a calming energy.
    "If you give that energy back, they kinda- they sense it, you know."
    Bison caption: I sense that he has snacks.
  • Rancher Taylor mentions his 2-year old daughter Scout eats the alfalfa pellets. Brad immediately tries one himself and likes it.
  • Taylor says that they move the bison every two days. Brad engages in discussion by asking... how often they move the bison. He quickly realizes his mistake.
  • Savage the dog repeatedly gets in the way while they're trying to talk about the soil. The Stinger includes one time Savage literally walks in front of Vinny's shot.
  • Brad tries to be inspirational at the end, and immediately reacts to himself with "What the f[beep]?!"

"Brad Tries Pottery"

  • Keith throwing Brad's plate right at the start.
  • The delayed "action".
  • Brad's kneaded clay looks suggestive.
  • Keith has to let Brad work on his first piece of clay on his own.
    Brad: "F[beep]ers..."
  • Brad: "Talk to me, Keith!"
    Keith: "I'm thinkin'. You have a dog?"
    Brad: "I do. No I don't, what the hell'd I say that for?"
    Keith: "Well, get a dog, 'cause You have a dog bowl."
  • Keith says Brad's bowl only looks smaller because Brad's so tall.
    Brad: "He's a nice guy."
  • Brad: "One direction?"
    Keith: "That's a great band."
  • Brad and Keith try to get Vinny to do a slow-mo shot on a plate. Vinny looks up the price of phantom cameras ($150,000), and then promptly searches how to do it on his current camera.
  • Keith: "It's still plastic."
    Brad: "I thought it was clay, Keith."
    Keith: "Very funny."
    (Wah-wah, Brad puts on a shit-eating smile)
    Brad: "We're both dads."
  • "Returning to the plate throwing from the start.
    Keith: "I'm sorry. I'm high drama."
  • BOOM
  • The whole ASMR bit
    Brad, whispering into the boom mic: "This is the sound of sanding."
    Keith, also whispering: "This is the sound of me watching him sand."

"Brad Distills 80 Proof Alcohol (Sotol)"

  • Brad flings a glove away while trying to put it on.
  • Brad: "Should I not be standing here?"
    Ken: "Uh, you'll be fine."
    (Door pops open into Brad)
  • Brad visualizes a nice setting where he's sipping the sotol, while Ken stands there stone-faced but still nodding.
  • Brad: "Should I say 'hooked up'?"

"Brad Makes Tortillas"

  • Brad keeps saying "hooked up", which prompts Fermin to smile and throw up a Shaka sign.
  • "What do you taste?" (Silence) "You have no idea what you taste..."
  • Two rinses. Three, you'd be fired.
  • The hose sprays on Brad.
    Fermin (laughing): "I forgot that-"
    Brad: "Yeah, you sure did, Fermin! Did that on purpose- I know it."
  • "Almost looks like candy corn, which I hate!"
  • Brad doesn't know what "gucci" is.
  • Brad: "Now, how do you know what depth- or they're almost touching?"
    Fermin: "'Cause I've done this before."
  • Brad cuts himself on the machinery.
    Brad: "Oh, now I have to wear a [beep] glove or something stupid."
    Caption: FOOD SAFETY IS NOT STUPID
  • Brad (about the masa): "Smells so good."
    Fermin: "I showered."
  • Brad does ASMR again. Then loudly laughs and claps.
    Vinny: Gonna have to work on ASMR celebrations...
  • Brad nails his transition, and nobody knows how to react or what to do next since they're not used to it.
  • Fermin starts tossing tortillas onto the griddle from behind his back.
    Vinny: "Go ahead, Brad, try it."
    Brad: "Yeah, yeah, let me do that real quick. I can't even do it looking at it."
    • Brad's first attempt flings past the griddle onto the back board. His second also fails, and Fermin later scoops it and dumps it with the caption Brad's hopes and dreams over it.
  • Brad: "You know, when we were talking about tortillas..."
    Vinny: The entire video?
  • Brad makes Road Dog at the end of the video with the requisite Shaka celebration, then so does Vinny, who also moves the camera up and down to celebrate.

    Goin' Places Season 2 

"Brad Goes Spearfishing in Hawaii"

  • Kimi practically dares Brad to pronounce "humuhumunukunukuapua'a". Continued in The Stinger.
    Brad: "I hardly speak English, and it's the only language I have."
  • The suiting-up montage, with Brad being silly and Kimi watching him patiently.
  • A turtle floats up while Brad and Kimi clean their catches.
    Brad: "Is it bad to touch him?"
    Kimi: "Yeah, totally illegal."
  • Honeygirl the dog appears, much to Brad's delight.
    Brad: "Ohh, we got a dog! Every episode, we get a dog in. It's important to me."
  • Brad notices his sunburn in The Stinger. "Ohh, that's not good..."

"Brad Hunts Boar in Hawaii"

  • Brad has some trouble getting over a fence. The music cuts out until he's finally over.
  • The imu covers Brad in smoke while he's trying to present.
  • One of the kids hoses Brad when he's not ready.
  • Brad tries to direct the video to include a montage of all the people and families involved, only for confusion to set in before it actually happens.
  • Laser hose

"Brad Goes Farming in Hawaii"

  • Derrik was waiting all week for his awful carrot pun.

"Brad Goes on a Hawaiian Food Tour"

  • Brad opens the video by telling a preening peacock "Come on- show us what you got. Strut it for me baby."
  • Brad has so much trouble saying "Ka'aha'aina Cafe" that local guide Rico gets cut in to say it for him.
  • They catch the requisite dog hanging outside of a pedestrian's backpack.
  • Brad likes the Kona Coffee so much it, as his crew puts it, "shut him up."
    Brad: "And I'm a yapper!"
  • "Family's hard to fire."
  • "Alright for the next- ...That's not an episode." *B-roll of surfers* "Alright for the next- ..." *Replay B-roll of surfers* "For our next, uh..." *More B-roll of surfers*
  • "Eyes on the road." *Beat* "I completely stopped paying attention to driving when I said that."

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