Quotes: Badass Boast

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    Anime And Manga 
My specialty involves flesh, and the lacerating thereof. You just draw close enough, and I'll be happy to demonstrate. Should anyone wish to experience my technique ... By all means, feel free to come this way.
Mikasa Ackerman, Attack on Titan

''Memorize this! Memorize Jeremiah Gottwald! Commit it to memory, because that is the memorable name of the man who has defeated you!
Jeremiah Gottwald, Code Geass

Freeza: Why don't you just stand still...and perish?!
Goku:...Let me see what you've got.
Freeza: Why, you WORM! You dare to mock me? (fires at Goku, who takes it on the chin without a scratch)
Goku: What's the matter, Freeza? I can't be harder to destroy than a planet, right?
Freeza: (absolutely terrified) You...you...what are you?
Goku: You haven't figured it out yet? I'm the Saiyan who came all the way from Earth for the sole purpose of beating you. I am the warrior you've heard of in legends, pure of heart and awakened by fury. That's what I am. (as a column of lava erupts behind him) I AM THE SUPER SAIYAN, SON GOKU!

"The mountainside will soon turn red from blood, but it's not our blood! It's Akakabuto's!"

"I won't let impostors like you defile my sanctuary. Everything that is within the reach of my fists is my kingdom... and I am its only master."
Bunen, Over Bleed

Aoshi: Don't you think it's a little early to be gloating? It was only by the width of paper that I missed your carotid artery, then the tables would have been turned.
Kenshin: Yes, but the damage is done, and the width of that paper... measures the gulf in our abilities.

"Hear me, privileged companions. Time is ours! Hououin Kyouma's mind recognises no limits! Neither does his reach! Heave anchor! This ship of fools is about to embark!"
Okabe Rintarou, AKA Hououin Kyouma, Steins;Gate

As you can see, I'm tiny. Ever since I was born I've done nothing but fight guys that were way bigger than me. And you know what? Not once have I run from a fight. And I've never lost, either!! So sit tight and watch. I'll protect you for sure!!
Makoto Tobita, as he is about to try and challenge a giant monster that is trying to kill his girlfriend, Super Dreadnought Girl 4946

I'm going to tell you something important now, so you better dig the wax out of those huge ears of yours, and listen! The reputation of Team Gurren echoes far and wide... When they talk about its bad ass leader, the man of indomitable spirit and masculinity, they're talking about me! The Mighty Kamina!

Simon: Don't underestimate us! We don't care about time, or space, or multi-dimensional whatevers... We don't give a damn about that! Force your way down a path you choose to take and do it all yourself. That's the way Team Dai-Gurren Rolls!
Nia: Even when trapped by Karma's cycle...
Yoko: The dreams we left behind will open the door!
Leeron: Even if the universe stands in our way!
Viral: Our seething blood will determine what will be!
Simon: We'll break through time and space...
All: And defy all those who would stop us to grab hold of our path!
Simon: Tengen Toppa... Gurren Lagann!
All: JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!?
The Dai-Gurren Brigade, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

    Comic Books 
"I know there are certain benighted souls who think I'm some kind of third rate hero, Scavenger, but I think you of all people would know better! But since you seem a bit confused, let me make this perfectly clear...I was in the world saving game when people like Firestorm and Black Lightning were still in diapers...I've worked hard to earn the respect and trust of every living creature below the waves, and I take my job very seriously...so get this through your head, punk, I'm Aquaman, King of the Seven Seas...and I'm the BEST!"

"[sigh] Though your tale is more complex than some, you still exist in a simple world of revenge, titillation and death. Allow me to try again, in language more befitting your author. Hi, I'm Mary. I'm Frankenstein, Cthulhu and Godzilla all rolled into one. I'm going to fuck up your world, bitch, and then fictional characters are gonna hop out of books and take over."
Mary Shelly Lovecraft, Hack Slash

"Listen, nobody's dead round here until I say so. You hear me? NOBODY!"
Hellboy

"You address omnipotence. Tread carefully."
Thanos, The Infinity Gauntlet

"I am Mars' sole survivor. There is a reason for that."

"You see, it's like this. In the beginning, God created me... Then he made the universe, from what was left. You will never forget this next moment."
Morningbright the Dragon, Smax

"Change reality any way you like, Robotnik. Whatever you do, I'll still fight you. Because no matter how ridiculous the situation, I'll never give up, Robotnik! I'll never give up!!"
Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic the Comic, "Robotnik Reigns Supreme, Part 3"

    Fan Fiction 
"You have made multiple assumptions, based on fallacious reasoning, which I find hilarious. First, you think I am still an emotional wreck. You believe that I am unstable, ineffective, defeated. That is a reasonable but terribly erroneous assumption. I am functional. (...) The second fact is that you assume physically restraining me will keep you safe. You should know better by now that restraints are irrelevant. Because I can kill you with my brain."
River Tam, Forward

"If any Kirigaoka or Kihara gets within 5 kilometers of Saten Ruiko, then the Number One himself will flinch when he hears what I did to all of you!"

I am the Morningstar. You are nothing. Fight me if you dare.

We are. We owe our being to none who are called anything; from and in the Minds of Men, We are. You shall Serve Us, and We Shall serve you, and None Shall Know who is the Master, and who the Slave. Though We may not be written on the Base Earth, our Lines shall be brief and succinct. Through Interplay of Words shall Our Shape be Known. The Gaps Between our Lines of Text merely Amplify their Impact. Some Words shall be Punctuated, directly relevant to their Importance. Together, Our Importance shall exceed the Sum of our Components. And though We are merely a Memetic Construct, though our Influence, the Thoughts of Men are Twisted to ensure our Existence. Trope of Badass and Word Power. We are the Badass Boast. And now you are a Carrier.

"Hokuto... I'm going to tear you apart for what you've done. I'll fucking send you to Hell for all the pain you've caused. You will never be forgiven for this. Now... KNOW YOUR PLACE!!"
Tsukune Aono, Rosario Vampire: Brightest Darkness Act IV

They called me a muggle, whatever that means, I called them target practice.

"Odin is your king, not mine. I had my magicks before Odin, and I'll have them still long after him."
Loki, The Thousandth Man, an AU Thor fic

"[N]o plan ever survives contact with the enemy, as the saying goes. Well, no enemy is going to survive contact with this plan."
Harry Johnson, Top Dog

“I possess sufficient firepower in this platform to destroy an armored battalion, human. Along with clear lines of fire and zero legal or moral compunctions against using them. I am Saren Arterius, Citadel Special Tactics and Recon, and in this pipe, I am the reigning deity. Surrender.”
Saren Arterius, Vigil

"It is the sacred duty of every Muslim to destroy the reptilian invaders from hell."
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad declares jihad on the alien invaders in Iran, Worldwar fanfic Worldwar: War of Equals.

    Film - Animated 
I am Ripper... Tearer... Slasher... Gouger. I am the Teeth in the Darkness, the Talons in the Night. Mine is Strength... and Lust... and Power! I! AM! BEOWULF!
Beowulf

I once was brave tiger...and if I go down in flames, so be it!
Vitaly, Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted

I do believe in you... I'm just not afraid of you!
Jamie Bennett, Rise of the Guardians

Megatron: NOBODY! SUMMONS! MEGATRON!
Unicron: Then it pleases me to be the first....

    Film - Live Action 
I'm ready, man. Check it out! I am the ultimate bad-ass! State of the bad-ass art! You do not want to fuck with me. Check it out! Hey, Ripley, don't worry. Me and my squad of ultimate bad-asses will protect you! Check it out. Independently targeting particle-beam phalanx. WHAP! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missiles, phase plasma pulse rifles, RPGs. We got sonic, electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, we got sharp sticks.
Private William Hudson, Aliens

Loki: I have an army.
Tony Stark: We have a Hulk.
Loki: I thought the beast had wandered off.
Tony Stark: You're missing the point. There's no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it!

Inhabitants of Peach Trees, this is Judge Dredd. [...] In case you people have forgotten, this block operates under the same rules as the rest of the city. Ma-Ma is not the law... I am the law.
Ma-Ma is a common criminal; guilty of murder, guilty of the manufacture and distribution of the narcotic known as Slo-Mo, and as of now under sentence of death. Any who obstruct me in carrying out my duty will be treated as an accessory to her crimes. You have been warned.
And as for you, Ma-Ma... judgement time.
Dredd

There are things that go bump in the night, Agent Myers. And we are the ones who bump back.
Professor Broom, Hellboy

"You will take nothing from me, dwarf. I laid low your warriors of old. I instilled terror in the hearts of men. I am King Under The Mountain!"

Aldo Raine: We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the German won't not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the German will be sickened by us, and the German will talk about us, and the German will fear us. And when the German closes their eyes at night and they're tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with. Sound good?
The Basterds: YES, SIR!

"I've no time now, but believe me, as surely as the moon will set and the sun will rise, I shall kill you tomorrow night. I shall kill you even if you hide in the deepest cave of the earth. At ten o'clock tomorrow night, I shall kill you..."

"I am YuLaw! I am nobody's bitch! You are mine! I don't need to know you. You only need to know me. I will be The One!"

''I will strike upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord. When I lay My vengeance upon you!
Jules, Pulp Fiction

"You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize."
Mr. White, Reservoir Dogs

RoboCop (Murphy): Drop it! Dead or alive, you are coming with me.
Emil Antonowsky: I know you. You're dead! We killed you! We killed you!

I'm Hub McCann. I've fought in two World Wars and countless smaller ones on three continents. I led thousands of men into battle with everything from horses and swords to artillery and tanks. I've seen the headwaters of the Nile, and tribes of natives no white man had ever seen before. I've won and lost a dozen fortunes, KILLED MANY MEN and loved only one woman with a passion a FLEA like you could never begin to understand. That's who I am. NOW, GO HOME, BOY!

"I aim to misbehave."
Mal Reynolds, Captain of the Serenity. (Because sometimes less is more.)

Harrison: "Because I am... Better."
Kirk: "At what?"
Harrison: "Everything."

"That's right. I've killed most everything that has walked or crawled on this earth, and I'm here to kill you, Little Bill."

All right, I'm coming out. Any man I see out there, I'm gonna shoot him. Any sumbitch takes a shot at me, I'm not only gonna kill him, but I'm gonna kill his wife, all his friends, and burn his damn house down.

You better bury Ned right!... Better not cut up, nor otherwise harm no whores... or I'll come back and kill every one of you sons of bitches.
William Munny, Unforgiven

    Literature 
I shatter Swords and splinter spears; None stands to Shieldbreaker. My point's the fount of orphans' tears, My edge the widowmaker.
Shieldbreaker's song, Book of Swords

"Any man here want tae fight? Then fight me! Aye, fight me! An' I swear by the harp o' bones I'll tak' him tae the deeps o' the sea an' then kick him tae the craters o' the moon an' see him ride tae the Pit o' Heel itself on a saddle made o' hedgehogs! I tell ye, my rage is the strength of the storm that tears mountains intae sand! Who among ye will stand agin me?"
Awf'ly Wee Billy Bigchin of the Discworld

"I will be the Winter Knight. I will be the most terrifying Knight the Sidhe Courts have ever known. I will send your enemies down in defeat and make your power grow. But I do it my way. On my terms. When you give me the task, I'll decide how it gets done... and you'll stay out of the way and let me work. And that's how it's going to be."
Harry Dresden, The Dresden Files

I do not dance to the Fallen's tune, Knight. We may move together, but I play the music. I set the beat. For nearly two thousand years I followed my path, through every treacherous bend and twist, through every temptation to turn aside, and after centuries of effort and study and planning and victory, they follow my leadership. Not the other way around. Turn aside from my path? I have ''blazed'' it through ages of humanity, through centuries of war and plague and madness and havoc and devotion. I am my path and it is me. There is no turning aside.
Nicodemus, Skin Game

"Where'd they go?"
Where they belong. Where they have always been. Back in the minds of Man. But I am not like them. I am Azrael, created to be creation's shadow. You cannot destroy me. That would destroy the world.

"Their [Muggleborns] blood is pure," said Harry (as Runcorn), as his deep voice echoed impressively through the hall. "Purer than many of yours, I dare say!"

"Revenge! Revenge! The King under the Mountain is dead and where are his kin that dare seek revenge? Girion Lord of Dale is dead, and I have eaten his people like a wolf among sheep, and where are his sons' sons that dare approach me? I kill where I wish and none dare resist. I laid low the warriors of old and their like is not in the world today. Then I was but young and tender. Now I am old and strong, strong, strong, Thief in the Shadows! My armour is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane, and my breath death!"
Smaug, The Hobbit

I am the eater of worlds, and of children. And you...are...NEXT!

"I can kill anything that exists, even if it's a god."
Shiki Ryougi, Kara no Kyoukai

"You will never get it back. In the last need, Sméagol, I should put on the Precious; and the Precious mastered you long ago. If I, wearing it, were to command you, you would obey - even if it were to leap from a precipice or to cast yourself into the fire. And such would be my command. So have a care, Sméagol!"
Frodo Baggins, Iron Woobie, suddenly takes a level In Badass, The Two Towers

"I have come. But I do not choose now to do what I came to do. I will not do this deed. The Ring is mine!"
Frodo Baggins again, Iron Woobie, finally having enough of the crap that's happened to him, The Return of the King

You cannot enter here. Go back to the Abyss prepared for you! Fall back into the nothingness that awaits you and your Master! Go back.
Old fool! This is my hour. Do you not know death when you see him? Die now, and curse in vain!
Gandalf the White and The Witch-King of Angmar provide dueling Badass Boasts, Return of the King

I walked this land when the T'lan Imass were but children. I have commanded armies a hundred thousand strong. I have spread the fire of my wrath across entire continents, and sat alone upon tall thrones. Do you grasp the meaning of this?
Kallor the High-King, 'Malazan Book of the Fallen

I'm the babe of a bloodripper
Born in the teeth of a gale
I'm the one who wields the sword
And makes the foebeast wail
Blood's me fav'rite colour
Swifter'n lightning aye
Stand out me way, stand out I say
Step aside now, or die!
'Cos I'm the spawn o' nightstorm
An' death sails in me wake
I sheath me blade in innards
An' what I want, I take!
Come one, come all, I'm waitin'
I'll flay yer carcass bare
So everyplace I go they'll say
Ahoy, you bold corsaaaaaaaaaaaiiir!
Romsca, Pearls of Lutra

"I am hunger. I am thirst. ...I can fast for a hundred years and not die. I can lie on the ice for a hundred nights and not freeze. I can drink a river of blood and not burst. Show me your enemies."
A werewolf, Prince Caspian

Anor: "There are thousands of warriors out here. You are only one man!"
Rhysode: "I am only one Jedi."
Anor: "You're insane!"
Rhysode: "No. I am Ganner. This threshold is mine. I claim it for my own. Bring on your thousands, one at a time or all in a rush. I don't give a damn. None shall pass."
— Ganner Rhysode of the Star Wars Expanded Universe

"WE ARE MACHINES! WE ARE GREATER THAN THE YUUZHAN VONG!"
Yuuzhan Vong Hunter battle droids on Borleias, Star Wars: New Jedi Order — Rebel Dream

Do you believe that I could kill you? Right here, right now, without using a sword or the Power? Do you believe that if I simply willed it, the Pattern would bend around me and stop your heart? By...coincidence?
Rand 'al Thor, The Dragon Reborn, The Wheel of Time

We might be facing 50 million monsters, but those monsters would be facing the gods!
Tomonaja Ijiro, World War Z

    Live Action TV 
"All those tattoos, all those tricks you've learned just don't matter. Doesn't matter what you try. Doesn't matter where I am or how badass you think you've become. 'Cause you know what? I'm Angel. I beat the bad guys."
Angel, Angel

"Who am I? I am Susan Ivanova. Commander. Daughter of Andrei and Sophie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance, and the boot that is going to kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart! I am Death Incarnate, and the last living thing that you are ever going to see. God sent me."
Commander Susan Ivanova, Babylon 5

"Only one human captain has ever survived battle with a Minbari fleet. He is behind me. You are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else."
Delenn, "Severed Dreams," Babylon 5

"No. Not now. Not ever. Do you hear me? I will use every cannon, every bomb, every bullet, every weapon I have down to my own eye teeth to end you! I swear it! I'm coming for all of you!"
Laura Roslin, Battlestar Galactica

Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much I make a year? Even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. You know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop going in to work? A business big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly-up. Disappears. It ceases to exist without me. No, you clearly don't know who you are talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot, you think that of me? No, I am the one who knocks!
Walter White, Breaking Bad

Buffy: It claimed to be the Original Evil, the one that came before anything else.
Anya: Please, how many times have I heard that line in my demon days? 'I'm so rotten, they don't even have a word for it. I'm bad. Baddy bad bad bad. Does it make you horny?' ...Or terrified. Whatever.

"If you think that's enough to kill me, you really don't know what a Slayer is. Trust me when I say you're gonna find out."
Buffy Summers, "The I in Team"

Cybermen: Daleks be warned, you have declared war upon the Cybermen.
Daleks: This is not war, this is pest control!
Cybermen: We have five million cybermen. How many are you?
Daleks: Four.
Cybermen: You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?
Daleks: We would destroy the Cybermen with one Dalek! You are superior in only one respect!
Cybermen: What is that?
Daleks: You are better at dying! RAISE COMMUNICATION BARRIER!!!
— The day the Cybermen and Daleks finally meet one another, Doctor Who, "Doomsday"

Dalek: I will talk to the Doctor.
The Doctor: Oh, will you? That's nice. Hello!
Dalek: The Dalek Stratagem nears completion. The Fleet is almost ready. You will not intervene.
The Doctor: Oh, really? Why's that then?
Dalek: We have your associate. You will obey or she will be exterminated.
The Doctor: No.
Dalek: Explain yourself.
The Doctor: I said 'no'.
Dalek: What is the meaning of this negative?
The Doctor: It means 'no'.
Dalek: But she will be destroyed.
The Doctor: No! 'Cos this is what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna rescue her. I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek Fleet, and then I'm gonna save the Earth, and then just to finish off, I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek outta the sky!
Dalek: But you have no weapons! No defenses! No plan!
The Doctor: Yeah. And doesn't that scare you to death? Rose?
Rose: Yes, Doctor?
The Doctor: I'm coming to get you.
Doctor Who, "Bad Wolf"

Don't play games with me! You just killed someone I like, that is not a safe place to stand. I'm the Doctor and you're in the biggest library in the Universe. Look me up.
The Tenth Doctor, Doctor Who, "Forest of the Dead"

"You're not the first lot to have come here. Oh, there have been so many."
[Hologram slideshow of various monsters]
"And what you've got to ask is, what happened to them?"
[Hologram of all the previous Doctors while music swells. It gets to the Tenth, and the Eleventh walks through]
"Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically... Run."
Doctor Who, "The Eleventh Hour"

"HELLLOOO STONEHENGE! Who takes the Pandorica... takes the universe! But bad news everyone... 'cause guess who! Listen, you lot, you're all whizzing about, it's really very distracting, could you all stay still for a minute because I AM TALKING!
(Every ship in the sky stops.)
Now the question for the hour is: "Who's got the Pandorica?" Answer: I do. Next question: "Who's coming to take it from me?"
(Beat) Come oooooon! Look at me! No plan, no backup, no weapons worth a damn! Oh, and something else I don't have: ANYTHING! TO! LOSE! So if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship with all your silly little guns and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way! Remember every black day I ever stopped you and then... AAAAAND THEEEN! Do the smart thing... Let somebody else try first."
(The spaceships fall back. Beat.)
That'll keep 'em squabbling for half an hour."
The Eleventh Doctor addresses an army of spaceships filled with his entire Rogues Gallery, "The Pandorica Opens"

House: I can kill you just as easily here as anywhere. Fear me. I've killed hundreds of Time Lords.
Doctor: Fear me. I've killed all of them.
Doctor Who, "The Doctor's Wife"

Leela: Before I die I'll see this rathole ankle deep in blood. That is a promised thing.
Doctor Who, "The Sun Makers"

Leela: When we are both in the Great Hereafter, I will hunt you down, Bent-Face! And put you through my agonies a thousand times!
Doctor Who, "The Talons of Weng Chiang"

Eleventh Doctor: "Okay then; that's what I'll do, I'll tell you a story. Can you hear them? All these people who lived in terror of you and your judgement, all these people whose ancestors devoted themselves, sacrificed themselves, to you; can you hear them singing? Oh you like to think you're a god? Oh but you're not a god, you're just a parasite, eaten out with the jealousy and envy and longing for the lives of others. You feed on them. On the memory of love and loss and birth and death and joy and sorrow SO - so, come on then. Take mine. Take. My. Memories. But I hope you've got a big appetite, because I have lived a long life, and I have seen a few things."
"I walked away from the Last Great Time War, I marked the passing of the Time Lords. I saw the birth of the universe, and I watched as time ran out, moment-by-moment until nothing remained, no time, no space, just me. I walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a MAD MAN!. I have watched universes freeze and creations burn! I have seen things you wouldn't believe, I have lost things you will NEVER UNDERSTAND; and I know things, secrets that must never be told, knowledge that must never be spoken, knowledge that will make parasite gods blaze. SO COME OOOON THEN! TAKE IT! TAKE IT ALL, BABY! HAVE IT! YOU HAVE IT ALL!"
Doctor Who, "The Rings of Akhaten"

Villain: "What if I had my man Hector here take your head off, right now?"
Robert McCall: "Then I'll grow another head, right now."

Chiana: You are being paid to work together!
Rygel: That's right...
(Durka's severed head rolls to a halt in front of the assembled mercenaries)
Rygel: And that's what we do to people who don't. You're here to do a job: start acting like professionals.
Farscape, "Liars, Guns, And Money"

Grandmother said this: My evolution is faster than the speed of the light. There is nothing in the whole universe that can keep up with my evolution.

I am Lord Zedd, emperor of all I see.

Hah! That was nothing! I won't let it happen again! I'm the strongest fighter there will ever be!

No.2: "Do you still think you can escape, Number Six?"
The Prisoner/No.6: "I'm going to do better than that."
No.2: "Oh?"
The Prisoner/No.6: "I'm going to escape and come back."
No.2: "Come back?"
The Prisoner/No.6: "Escape, come back, wipe this place off the face of the Earth - obliterate it - and you with it."

Jem'Hadar Captain : Prepare yourself. I have found you a worthy opponent.
Worf: Where is he?
Jem'Hadar Captain: Right in front of you.

Resistance is futile.

"Don't try to threaten me, Mulder. I've watched Presidents die."
Cigarette Smoking Man, The X-Files ("One Breath")

    Music 
I'll have you know..
That I've become...
Indestructable
Determination that is incorruptable
From the other side a terror to behold
Annihilation will be unavoidable
Every broken enemy will know
That their opponent had to be invincible
Take a last look around
while you're alive
I'm an indestructable
Master of War!
Disturbed, Indestructable

I am the fire
I am burning brighter
Roaring like a storm...
Halestorm, "I Am The Fire"

I'm a human nightmare, an arsenal of doom
I kill conversation when I walk into a room
I'm a three line whip, I'm the sort of thing they ban
I'm a walking disaster, I'm the Demolition Man.
The Police, Demolition Man

I'm known to write about the shit most people won't discuss
Some find my music too intrusive with their words, and such
You see a mousetrap, I see free cheese and a fucking challenge
But you stay quiet, for fear of tipping the balance
Scroobius Pip, Introdiction

A tattooed madman, I'm hell on wheels!
Born a wicked child, left alone in the fields!
My father was the wind, my mother was fire,
Raised by the wolves and I grew up wild!
WASP, "Mean Man"

    Real Life 
Palace of Ashurnasirpal, priest of Ashur, favorite of Enlil and Ninurta, beloved of Anu and Dagan, the weapon of the great gods, the mighty king, king of the world, king of Assyria; son of Tukulti-Ninurta, the great king, the mighty king, king of Assyria, the son of Adad-nirari, the great king, the mighty king of Assyria; the valiant man, who acts with the support of Ashur, his lord, and has no equal among the princes of the four quarters of the world; the wonderful shepherd who is not afraid of battle; the great flood which none can oppose; the king who makes those who are not subject to him submissive; who has subjugated all mankind; the mighty warrior who treads on the neck of his enemies, tramples down all foes, and shatters the forces of the proud; the king who acts with the support of the great gods, and whose hand has conquered all lands, who has subjugated all the mountains and received their tribute, taking hostages and establishing his power over all countries.

When Ashur, the lord who called me by my name and has made my kingdom great, entrusted his merciless weapon to my lordly arms, I overthrew the widespread troops of the land of Lullume in battle. With the assistance of Shamash and Adad, the gods who help me, I thundered like Adad the destroyer over the troops of the Nairi lands, Habhi, Shubaru, and Nirib. I am the king who had brought into submission at his feet the lands from beyond the Tigris to Mount Lebanon and the Great Sea [the Mediterranean], the whole of the land of Laqe, the land of Suhi as far as Rapiqu, and whose hand has conquered from the source of the river Subnat to the land of Urartu.

The area from the mountain passes of Kirruri to the land of Gilzanu, from beyond the Lower Zab to the city of Til-Bari which is north of the land of Zaban, from the city of Til-sha-abtani to Til-sha-Zabdani, Hirimu and Harutu, fortresses of the land of Karduniash [Babylonia], I have restored to the borders of my land. From the mountain passes of Babite to the land of Hashmar I have counted the inhabitants as peoples of my land. Over the lands which I have subjugated I have appointed my governors, and they do obeisance.

I am Ashurnasirpal, the celebrated prince, who reveres the great gods, the fierce dragon, conqueror of the cities and mountains to their furthest extent, king of rulers who has tamed the stiff-necked peoples, who is crowned with splendor, who is not afraid of battle, the merciless champion who shakes resistance, the glorious king, the shepherd, the protection of the whole world, the king, the word of whose mouth destroys mountains and seas, who by his lordly attack has forced fierce and merciless kings from the rising to the setting sun to acknowledge one rule.

The former city of Kalhu [Nimrud], which Shalmaneser king of Assyria, a prince who preceded me, had built, that city had fallen into ruins and lay deserted. That city I built anew, I took the peoples whom my hand had conquered from the lands which I subjugated, from the land of Suhi, from the land of Laqe, from the city of Sirqu on the other side of the Euphrates, from the furthest extent of the land of Zamua, from Bit-Adini and the land of Hatte, and from Lubarna, king of the land of Patina, and made them settle there.

I removed the ancient mound and dug down to the water level. I sank the foundations 120 brick courses deep. A palace with halls of cedar, cypress, juniper, box-wood, meskannu-wood, terebinth and tamarisk, I founded as my royal residence for my lordly pleasure for ever.

Creatures of the mountains and seas I fashioned in white limestone and alabaster, and set them up at its gates. I adorned it, and made it glorious, and set ornamental knobs of bronze all around it. I fixed doors of cedar, cypress, juniper and meskannu-wood in its gates. I took in great quantities, and placed there, silver, gold, tin, bronze and iron, booty taken by my hands from the lands which I had conquered.
— Standard Inscription of Ashurbanipal II

We will welcome to our numbers the loyal, true and brave,
Shouting the battle cry of freedom!
And although they may be poor, not a man shall be a slave,
Shouting the battle cry of freedom!


For Lincoln and Johnson, hurrah boys, hurrah!
Down with the traitors, and on with the war!
For we'll rally round the flag, boys, we'll rally in our might,
Shouting the holy cause of freemen!
"The Battle-Cry of Freedom", a patriotic song of the Union during The American Civil War

"One riot, one ranger."
Captain Bill MacDonald, Texas Ranger

Fan: Where did you learn to be so sexy?
Hideki Kamiya: Lions don't learn how to hunt.
—Fan question (and answer) on Hideki Kamiya's twitter

Veni. Vidi. Vici.
Gaius Julius Caesar (supposedly). The Latin translates to "I came. I saw. I conquered."

I am the great lion himself
And my name is Mark the Evangelist
Whoever should attempt to defy me
Shall be banished from my sight
— Heraldric emblem of Venice

Two Romes there were, a third there is. A fourth there shall not be.
— A Russian monk's expression of Patriotic Fervor

    Religion and Mythology 
"This day will the Lord deliver thee into mine hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head from thee; and I will give the carcasses of the host of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all the Earth may know that there is a God in Israel."
David, 1 Samuel 17:46

    Tabletop Games 
"We are the Ultramarines, the Sons of Guilliman. Whilst we draw breath, we stand. Whilst we stand, we fight. Whilst we fight, we prevail. Nothing shall stay our wrath."

"You accuse me of being a madman. What right have you to judge what is sane and what is not?
I have fought with the shadows on the edge of your vision.
I have seen the faces that laugh at you in your nightmares.
I have smelt the foetid breath that issues from the mouth of hell itself.
I have heard the silent voices that make your spine tingle with dread.
I have entered the realms between worlds where there is no time or place.
I have clashed with creatures the sight of which would sear your soul to the core.
I have bested horrors that chill with a gaze and tempt unreasoning terror.
I have faced death eye to eye and blade to blade.
I have stared into the eyes of insanity and met their all-consuming stare.
I have done all of this for you, for your protection, and the guarantee of a future for mankind.
And yet you accuse me of being a madman, you who have never had your sanity tested so sorely.
What right have you to call me a heretic and a blasphemer, who have not heard the whisper of dark gods in your ear?
You are weak. Vulnerable. Human in your frailty. I am strong and yet still you judge me.
And yet you still judge me for my sins, you who art most sinful to the heart?
Only the insane have strength enough to prosper; only those that prosper truly judge what is sane."
Inquisitor Lichenstein, Warhammer 40,000

"His word was the roar of thunder. His glance was the look of the eagle. His might was the strength of the kraken. His guile was the cunning of the wulfen. His temper was the death of men."
From the saga of Voltar, Warhammer 40,000

Everything that happens, happens for a reason, little one. And that reason is me.
The "Voice of Tzeentch", Warhammer 40,000

    Theatre 
"Fuck you. That's my name. You know why, mister? You drove a Hyundai to get here. I drove an eighty-thousand dollar BMW. THAT'S my name. And your name is you're wanting. You can't play in the man's game, you can't close them - go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life: Get them to sign on the line which is dotted. You hear me you fucking faggots?... You see this watch? You see this watch? That watch costs more than you car. I made $970,000 last year. How much'd you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. I can go out there tonight with the materials you've got and make myself $15,000. Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can YOU?... Get mad you son of a bitches, get mad! You want to know what it takes to sell real estate? It takes BRASS BALLS to sell real estate. Go and do likewise gents. Money's out there. You pick it up, it's yours. You don't, I got no sympathy for you."

    Video Games 
"If I want to live, I live! If I want to take, I take! If I want you to die, YOU DIE!"
Cesare Borgia, Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood

I cannot be caged. I cannot be controlled. Learn this as you die, ever pathetic, ever fools.
Jon Irenicus, Baldur's Gate

Oracle: What will happen if this Titan stuff reaches Gotham?
Batman: It won't reach Gotham.

Batman: Alfred, what do you see when you look at me? The boy whose shoes you used to tie every morning, the teenager you drove to his first date? While you are here every night, I am out there, the only thing between the innocent and the predatory.
Alfred: You may be, but -
Batman: No, not "may be", I am. When the mugger or the thief stops to think twice, that is fear. That is what I am. That is why they hired assassins - because I am the reason the criminals breathe easier when the sun rises. So no, Alfred, I am not in over my head. Tonight will not be my end... but it will be theirs!

Rule of thumb, Hassan. You can't kill the Messiah.

My ascension is at hand. My hour of glory! I, and I alone, will be Khorne's Chosen! His favored acolyte, and prime among his champions! From this world, I will conquer the next, and the one after that! I will crush entire suns! in the palm of my hand. I will stride down the halls of the heathen Emperor, and grind him and the Golden Throne of Terra between my iron fingers! The universe will know the will of Khorne. Trrrrremble! Quaaaaake! These, are your FINAL HOURS, Lorn V! My reign will turn the heavens themselves, crrrrrrimson! Blood for the Blood God! Let the universe, drrrrrrrown in it!!!

"Know me, know what you have pretended to be. Exalt The Elder One! The will that is Corypheus!"
The Elder One/Corypheus, Dragon Age: Inquisition

"My name is Eorlund Gray-Mane. I work the Skyforge. Best steel in all of Skyrim. All of Tamriel."
Eorlund Gray-Mane, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Meyz mul, Dovahkiin. You have become strong. But I am Al-du-in! Firstborn of Akatosh! Mulaagi zok lot! I cannot be slain here, by you or anyone else! You cannot prevail against me. I will outlast you... mortal!

My name is Ultima... I am power both ancient and unrivaled... I do not bleed, for I am but strength given form... Feeble creatures of flesh... your time is nigh!
Ultima Weapon, Final Fantasy VI

"I AM the new Angel of Death! YOURS!"
Zidane, Final Fantasy IX

Orphan: A haven, yea. Yet it must fall ere we be saved. Too frail a shell, and humans should not thrive. Too stout a shell, and they would not die. Slaughter and salvation! Two irreconcilable Focuses we bore. Yet bound were we in a cocoon prison, impervious to our power. And so we thank you, for granting us our longed-for birth. We are the Abandoned One, born but now to die. Or name is Orphan! By our hand, the world shall know redemption!

In every battle that mattered in my life, I've always been the one left standing, no matter how slim my chances. This battle means more than any of the others, because it's for the life of every person that I've ever cared about. I will win this fight.

Aquaman: What makes you think you'll win?
Superman: I'm Superman.

"Your powers have grown strong over a thousand years, while my powers have been growing strong since time began."
Korra to Hundun, The Legend of Korra video game

Your words are as empty as your future. I am the vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over.
Sovereign, Mass Effect 1

Human, you've changed nothing. Your species has the attention of those infinitely your greater. That which you know as 'Reapers' are your salvation through destruction.

Tell your friends we're coming for them.
Shepard, Mass Effect 3

"HEED MY WORDS EVILDOERS! IF THOU DOS'T WISH TO CHALLENGE THE ODIN'S SON, THOU WILL FACE THE DIVINE POWER OF MIGHTY MJOLNIR! NEVER SHALL THE GOD OF THUNDER RELENT!"

"What I'm fighting for? That's just ridiculous. I don't need a reason to fight. I have and am going to fight just to destroy Mega Man!!"
Bass, Mega Man & Bass

Steven Armstrong: Played college ball, ya know.
Raiden: At some cushy Ivy League school.
Steven Armstrong: Try University of Texas. Coulda gone pro if I hadn't joined the Navy. I'm not one of those beltway pansies. I could break the president in two... with my bare hands! Don't fuck with this senator!

Now I will show you why I am the most powerful practitioner of psychokinesis and telepathy in the world!
Psycho Mantis, Metal Gear Solid

Raiden: Still tickin', huh?
Vamp: Unfortunately, Hell had no vacancies.

Leave it all to me, old boy! I shan't need help!

The moment man devoured the fruit of knowledge, he sealed his fate. Entrusting his future to the cards, man clings to a dim hope. Yet, the Arcana is the means by which all is revealed! Beyond the path lies the absolute end! It matters not who you are! Death awaits you!
Nyx, Persona 3

When the injustice is great enough, justice will lend me the strength needed to correct it. None may stand against it. It will shatter every barrier, sunder any shield, tear through any enchantment, and lend its servant the power to pass sentence. Know this: There is nothing on all the Planes that can stay the hand of justice when it is brought against them. It may unmake armies. It may sunder the thrones of gods. Know that for all who betray justice, I am their fate. And fate carries an executioner's axe.
Vhailor, Planescape: Torment

Master, I am still inexperienced. Before you left us, you told me that the Demon Sword Grollschwert would clear a path for me. Now you are no longer with us... Still, I have this sword. As long as I wield it, I shall press onward! I WILL find you, Iris!
Grolla Seyfarth, RosenkreuzStilette

"My name is Sanger. Sanger Zonvolt! I am the Sword That Smites Evil!!" / "There is nothing that my Zankantou/Colossal Blade cannot cut."
Sanger Zonvolt, Super Robot Wars

Kouji Kabuto: You're not getting away, Gadlight! We're gonna settle accounts today!
Gadlight Meonsam: 'You're not getting away'? Don't make me laugh, Earthling! Looks like you still don't understand the gap in power between us! Someone like you doesn't have a snowflake's chance in Hell of beating me!
Kouji: You know about all of the villains who've said that and underestimate us!? Not a Black Hole, Fallen Angels, the Mycenae, or Sphere Reactors have been able to stop us!
Gadlight: Then I'll have to shove your faces down into despair!
Kouji: Just try it! We won't hand our future to someone like you!
—Scenario 58, Third Super Robot Wars Z: Jigoku-hen

"Victory... is my destiny."

"Some people think they can outsmart me. ...Maybe. *sniff* Maybe. I've yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet''.
Heavy Weapons Guy, Team Fortress 2

"The things that can't be cut by my Roukan Blade, forged by youkai, are close to none!"
Youmu, Touhou

This era, when humans deny my existence and I have become legend, is what I was waiting for! Now, attempt to defeat me! And I shall become a living legend!
Toyosatomimi no Miko, Touhou

    Visual Novels 
"Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm good as new. Thank you for killing the wrong man, but I can't say I like knowing that you wanted me dead. Although to be honest, even if you hadn't tried to kill me... I would still hate you very much."

    Webcomics 
I just surfed a robo Dracula from the moon, so all yalls can just take it!

Black Mage: Can we have a minute?
Chaos: I am the yawning chasm from before the before; the darkness after the end of all things. I am nothing and no thing is eternal.
Black Mage: ...is that a yes?

See the mighty trees, the strong bones of my body!
The rustling of the leaves is my laughter!
The swaying grass is the hair on my back!
The rocks and stones, powerful teeth of mine!
My blood, the water coursing through the land!
My ever watching eyes, the sun...
And the moon!
Coyote, Gunnerkrigg Court

A stone is a part of the earth. It may be shaped into human form, but, like me, it is not alive. A stone does not desire anything. It has no dreams or feelings of any kind. Along with myself, rocks and stones have been the only constants on this planet. Of course, it is not a perfect definition. For example.
* pop*
A stone can be broken. I cannot be marked or damaged in any way. It is impossible to cut or remove even a single hair from my head. The pressures exerted with my fingers alone can break any available measuring equipment. Except for my own body, there is no material in existence I cannot bend, or break, or manipulate like wet clay.

You know I can take her if I wish.

I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!
Belkar Bitterleaf, The Order of the Stick

We are all in the Monster Manual somewhere, are we not? My entry lies between Elemental and Ethereal Filcher.
Vaarsuvius, The Order of the Stick

You want to know who I am? I'll tell you who I am—I'm Quentyn son of Quinn, the Questor of Freeman Downs. The gnomes call me "Hunter of Shadows." The Gragum call me "Little God-Slayer." The gangs of the Tumbledowns call me Sir, if they know what's good for them. I am one of Oberon's Untouched—kissed by the White Stag and blessed by two ladies of the seleighe court. I have slain a gragum priest-king and three of his followers singlehanded. I have waded through an army of shadow-wights to lay low a rat-king. I have pulled a house down around the ears of not one, but two gangs of thieves. I have slain a swamp kraken and run before the Wild Hunt—and won. And before I leave this duchy I will add a dead dragon to that list. I am a Rac Cona Daimh, and I am nothing to be trifled with. Do you have any other questions, your grace?
Quentyn Quinn, Tales of the Questor

    Web Original 
All that I see, I conquer!
Lord Vyce, Atop the Fourth Wall

"Silly Old Bear... If the harbinger of spring is the sound of a bat on a ball, then I have become the harbinger of winter; a barren and desolate spot your bat will never hit. As my ball strikes the padded glove with the disgruntled furl of thirty thousand fans trudging out of the arena, watching as you throw down your bat in disgust and mourn what you'll never be, know this: you will never defeat me, Pooh Bear. Not as long as you or I will live. They will never tell stories of your greatness, or herald you as the second coming of pitch hitters. There are a hundred and eight stitches in every ball, Pooh Bear. How many do you think I can get in your face?"

Frieza: You, you're different, what happened? What the hell are you?
Goku: Can't you tell, Freezer? It's just like Vegeta said.
Frieza: No, you f**king don't!
Goku: I am the hope of the omniverse! I am the light bulb in the darkness! I am the bacon in the fridge for all living things that cry out in hunger! I am the alpha and the Amiga! I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am Son Goku, and I am a Super-
[Freeza laser blasts his face]
Goku: (leans forward unharmed and smiles) Saiyan.

I am Chuck Fucking Norris! I've spread more blood and gore than forty score of your puny Civil Wars, bitch! I split the Union with a roundhouse kick! I wear a black belt on the beard that I grow on my dick! I attack sharks when I smell them bleed. I don't go swimming, Water just wants to be around me. My fists make the speed of light wish that it was faster. You may have freed the slaves, but Chuck is everyone's master!
Chuck Norris in Epic Rap Battles of History

I'm bad, I'm the baddest motherfucker on the world.
The Juggernaut, bitch!

"I AIN'T GONNA DIE, 'CAUSE IT'S A WASTE OF MY TIME! LUIGI, YO!"
slowbeef pretending to be Cornshaq, Retsupurae

"A Japanese reporter once asked Cro Cop how many PSI he had in his kick. What's crazier than the question is that Cro Cop had an answer. "If it is right leg, hospital. Left leg, cemetery." Ladies, Cro Cop is so tough that when he fucks you, you grow chest hair on your uterus, right before you explode."

My power surges through the air and all around.
My soul's the engine that will burn this world down to the ground!
And one move sparks ignition of my vengeful wrath!
I'm never going back, the future's all I have!
— "Let Them Burn", a filk by Tuitey Fruity

You'd be surprised what I'm capable of. I've mutilated people. Carved out a man's eyes, emasculated him. I've chopped off a woman's toes. Flayed people alive with the bites of thousands of insects. Hell, what I did to Triumph... he nearly died, choking on insects, the venom of a hundred bee stings making his throat close up. Even Sere, outside at this very moment. He's not very happy.
Skitter, Worm

"Fucking hell! Did anyone see that? I am squirtin' machismo out of my nipples over 'ere! I am a monster truck that walks like a man."
Yahtzee's idea of what War should be like, Zero Punctuation review of Darksiders

Randall: You don't want to do this. We know who you are, Mr. Elroy. You’ve only been a servant for two years. I've been one for four. My friends here, three and five. Do the smart thing and surrender.
Cisco: You know who I am, do you? If that were true, then you would be running away like the cowards you are. I am Francisco Elroy, fools. I am a Rainlord of Sair. The blood of the Armans runs through my veins.

    Western Animation 
''I am vengeance! I am the night! I am Batman!

Ben/Ultimate Spider-Monkey: Stop it! Stop it! Or I swear...
Driscoll: If you and your friends do not leave this planet now and forever, my knights will kill the prisoners where they stand!
Ben/Ultimate Spider-Monkey: (grabs Driscoll by the chest, sticks him against the wall and growls) No.
(stabs just near Driscoll's head with his spider leg, leaving a deep hole in the wall, then turns back to human form. Driscoll collapses in shock.)
Ben: "Maybe you have forgotten something: I'm Ben Tennyson, wielder of the most powerful weapon in the universe. I stopped the Highbreed invasion, I defeated Vilgax in hand-to-hand combat, and I've beaten the Forever Knights more times than I can count. Here's what's going to happen: you're going to release these prisoners, you're going to crawl back to wherever you came from, and you're going to stop hunting down aliens because if you don't, I promise, you'll regret it for the rest of your Very. Short. Lives."
Ben 10: Ultimate Alien, The Purge

"I lived ten thousand lifetimes before the first of your kind crawled out of the mud! It was I who broke through the divide separating the plane of Spirits from the material world! To hate me is to give me breath. To fight me is to give me strength! Now prepare to face oblivion!"

    Wrestling 
I can break a door down with one hand behind my back
I can crush a Grizzly til his bones begin to crack
I eat a dozen t-bones for my early morning snack
So imagine what I could do to you...

I can tear a telephone directory in two
Bending iron bars is something else that I can do
I always pick my teeth with the nearest billiard cue
So imagine what I could do to you...

I can knock a hole right through a solid concrete wall
I can pull a tree out by its roots, and that's not all
Now you know about me, you don't need a crystal ball
To tell you what I could do to you

I can crush a house brick with one movement of my hand
And laugh while I reduce it to a dusty heap of sand
I cut a splendid figure when I make my chest expand
So imagine what I could do to you!
— The verses to "Exotic" Adrian Street's theme music

    Other 
Turaga Nuju always said the universe was a riddle. Today, I am the answer.
Toa Matoro, BIONICLE

Horror is looking into the eyes of the Shadowed One, knowing you are about to die...and then being forced to live. Horror is waking each day to see every part of your body moving on its own, a shifting mass of Protodites where once was solid metal and living tissue. Horror is what is in the eyes of your partners when they look at you...and in the cries of your enemies when your swarm engulfs them. Don't talk to me about fear, creature—I AM FEAR!
Zaktan standing up to Irnakk, BIONICLE Legends 5: Inferno