Badass Boast / Doctor Who

Doctor Who pits a mad man in a box and all his companions against aliens, monsters, demons and everything else the universe has to throw at them. Having a "powerful" way with words just comes naturally.

Classic Series

  • Don't think it doesn't go back to the earliest days. In "The Sensorites", the title aliens have decided that letting the crew leave is too dangerous, and have taken a vital component of the TARDIS. They act like they're totally in control, until:
    Sensorite: You're in no position to threaten us.
    The Doctor: I don't make threats, but I do keep promises. And I promise you I'll cause you more trouble than you've bargained for if you don't return my property.
    [Sensorites trade looks, then one responds]
    Sensorite: We must... decide what we shall do.
    • It's also a good look into the First Doctor's character, there. He's a crotchety old man and does more than his share of yelling, but then you find his bark is worse than his bite... and then you find out what he looks like when he's actually ready to bite. When he stops being hammy and starts being serious, you wanna listen.
  • One from Jon Pertwee:
    I cross the void beyond the mind
    The empty space that circles time
    I see where others stumble blind
    To seek a truth they'll never find
    Eternal wisdom is my guide
    I am the Doctor!

    Through cosmic wastes the TARDIS flies
    To taste the secret source of life
    A presence science can't deny
    Exists, within, outside, behind
    The latitude of human minds
    I am the Doctor!

    My voyage dissects the course of time
    "Who knows?" you say, but are you right?
    Who journeys deep to find the light
    That glows so darkly in the night?
    Toward that point I guide my flight

    As fingers move to end mankind
    Metallic teeth begin to grind
    With sword of truth I turn and fight
    The satanic powers of the night

    Is your faith before your mind?

    Know me...

    Am I...

    The Doctor?
  • Don't think the bad guys are no good at it. The title character of "The Mind of Evil" isn't the Master after all, but a creature that is able to use people's worst fears to drive them to death, typically requiring only seconds. How's this thing work? Before anyone knows what's going on, a Redshirt who fears water seems to go nuts, drops dead, and when examined, proves to have somehow drowned in a dry room. It even made one of the Doctor's hearts stop after he was exposed to its full potential for a couple of minutes. So what happens when it tries to bring down the Master?
    The Master: You can't harm me. I'm stronger than you are. I brought you here. I gave you the minds you need to feed on! You are my servant! YOU'RE MY SERVANT!! ... I'm too strong for you! ... (once outside, he bars the door) No more minds for you to feed on. Let's see how long starvation takes to bring you to heel.
    • You can see him being affected by it, then resisting. In the end, he isn't able to defeat it on his own with sheer willpower, but every time it looks like it will overpower him, he is able to get back to his feet. He is able to shut down the machinery it was attached to, and, when that doesn't stop it, leave the room and bar the door. While it's a rare moment we see the Master in a great deal of distress, again, this thing was able to put the Doctor out of action in minutes, and leave anyone else dead in seconds. The Master is able to fight back, tell this thing exactly who it's dealing with, and then back up every word.
  • The Fourth Doctor, from "Pyramids of Mars":
    "I am a Time Lord. I am not a human being. I walk in eternity."
  • Leela gets another good one in "The Talons of Weng-Chiang". She's about to be killed in a particularly painful manner by Magnus Greel (for the purpose of prolonging his life by a means that is rapidly losing effectiveness), and this only makes her angry:
    "When we are both in the Great Hereafter, I will hunt you down, Bent-Face! And put you through my agonies a thousand times!"
  • Leela has one in "The Sun Makers", when she's being held hostage to force the Doctor to do something. Someone tells her that she'll die if he doesn't come back. "Then I die." (Pulls out her knife.) "But before I do, I'll see this rat's nest knee deep in your blood. That is a promised thing." (One of the hostage takers says that if she has to be killed, he won't be the first on his feet.)
  • One from the Fourth Doctor, in "State of Decay":
    Aukon: You will all serve the Great One, Doctor, one way or another. If you do not join us you will feed him with your blood.
    The Doctor: No. There is a third choice.
    Aukon: What is that?
    The Doctor: I can destroy the Great One.
  • Davros tries in "Remembrance of the Daleks":
    Davros: We shall become all—
    The Doctor: -Powerful! Crush the lesser races! Conquer the galaxy! Unimaginable Power! UNLIMITED RICE PUDDING! Et cetera! Et cetera!

Expanded Universe

  • The Fifth Doctor of all incarnations gets one in the audio adventure "Loups-Garoux", and he delivers it to a frighteningly strong werewolf of all people:
    The Doctor: Pieter Stubbe!
    Stubbe: Huh?
    Ileana: Doctor?
    The Doctor: Stand away from her, Pieter Stubbe. She's no longer yours! Time's left you far behind and you've lost its scent. You're burnt out! So just give up and go back to the smile you crawled out of!
    Hayashi: Doctor, you are such a fool!
    Stubbe: (sniggers) Is this a challenge? (sniffs) Who's this? He's no champion! He's like that foul-tasting boy. He's not even human!
    The Doctor: I'm the Doctor, and I'm offering Ileana my protection. I'm stronger and more worthy than any puny human or wolf!
  • The Eighth Doctor in the audio adventure "Phobos":
    "Was that supposed to frighten me? I've seen entire species destroyed, civilisations left in ruins. I've witnessed solar systems vanish in the twinkling of an eye. I've seen things that would freeze your blood. So don't threaten me. Don't ever threaten me."
    • Also from the Eighth Doctor, in the Doctor Who New Adventures novel The Dying Days: "I am the man that gives monsters nightmares. The Daleks call me the Bringer of Darkness. I am the Eighth Man Bound. I am the Champion of Life and Time. I'm the guy with two hearts. I make History better. I am the Doctor."
  • The Seventh Doctor has an absolutely chilling one in the audio adventure "Afterlife":
    The Doctor: Fear me.
    Koloon: Wha... what?
    The Doctor: Tell this to your gods, when they punish you, when they stretch you on the neutron rack: I'm still here.
    Koloon: But you...?! You're one... little... man!
    The Doctor: No, not a man. Not a human being. I am a complex space-time event. I am Lord President of Gallifrey. The Traveller from Beyond Time. I am the Sandman! The Oncoming Storm! I am the Ka Faraq Gatri; Destroyer of Worlds! And sometimes... only sometimes, I. Am. Your. Worst. Nightmare! ...I am the Doctor, and I take care of my friends.
  • And (goodness, there's a lot, aren't there?) from the audio "Death Comes to Time", a commander gives orders to his men about a battle they all know they're going to lose.
    "Resist the Canisians. Breathe harder to starve them of air, and as they kill you bleed on their boots. Offer them no compliance, no words, no recognition of existence."

New Series

  • In "Dalek", a lowly soldier Dalek has been trapped and tortured on Earth after escaping the Time War, and believes that it is the last of its kind. After tricking Rose into freeing it, killing its torturer, disabling its prison and draining half of America of power, it lets out a single cry.
  • At the end of "Bad Wolf":
    The Doctor: No! 'Cause this is what I'm going to do: I'm going to rescue her! I'm going to save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet! And then I'm going to save the Earth! And then, just to finish off, I'm going to wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!
    Dalek 1: But you have no weapons! No defenses! No plan!
    The Doctor: Yeah! And doesn't that scare you to death? Rose?
    Rose: Yes, Doctor?
    The Doctor: I'm coming to get you.
  • Rose gets one in "The Parting of the Ways" when she absorbs the Time Vortex and returns to rescue the Doctor:
    Rose: I looked into the TARDIS and the TARDIS looked into me. I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words... I scatter them, in time and space. A message, to lead myself here. I want you safe, my Doctor. Protected from the false god.
    Dalek Emperor: You cannot hurt me, I am immortal!
    Rose: You are tiny. I can see the whole of time and space, every single atom of your existence. And I divide them. Everything must come to dust. All things . . . everything dies. The Time War ends.
    • From the same episode, the Ninth Doctor gets one:
    "Do you know what they call me in the ancient legends of the Dalek homeworld? 'The Oncoming Storm'. You may have removed all your emotions, but I bet that deep down in your DNA there's one spark left, and that's fear. Doesn't it just burn when you face face me."
  • In "The Christmas Invasion", Harriet Jones, Prime Minister (Yes, we know who she is) is speaking to somebody Locked Out of the Loop about an oncoming invasion, and he's surprised at her speaking of aliens as being so common. We then get this:
    Harriet: There's an act of Parliament banning my autobiography.
  • From "The Girl in the Fireplace":
    The Doctor: [whilst chasing a Clockwork Robot] Even monsters have nightmares!
    Reinette: What can monsters have nightmares about?!
    The Doctor: [as he chases it back through the fireplace] ME!
    • Later subverted when Rose is captured by some clockwork robots, and the Doctor is elsewhere. She tries (unsuccessfully) to basically redo his "Oncoming Storm" boast by proxy, but gets drowned out by a (seemingly) very drunk Doctor bursting into the scene just in time.
    Rose: Oh, look what the cat dragged in. The Oncoming Storm.
    The Doctor: You sound just like your mother!
  • The following story, "The Age of Steel," has the Doctor give a casual Blasé Boast, regarding his Martial Pacifist nature:
    "Talk about executions, you'll make me your enemy. And take some really good advice, you don't wanna do that."
  • From "The Satan Pit", The Beast:
    "I shall never die! The thought of me is forever! In the bleeding hearts of men, in their vanity and obsession and lust! Nothing shall ever destroy me! Nothing!"
    • And the badass retort:
    • The Beast is quite fond of these.
    The Beast: This is the Darkness. This is my domain, you little things that live in the light, clinging to your feeble suns... which die. Only the Darkness remains.
  • Then she pulls it off right in "Doomsday". After the Daleks and Cybermen verbally joust (read below), the Daleks wonder why one man in the picture makes Rose's heart race. When she finally admits it's the Doctor, all the Daleks in the room roll back a bit: their way of taking a very nervous step backward.
    Rose: Five million Cybermen, easy. One Doctor? Now you're scared.
    • Rose herself gets to make a particularly effective boast (though it does pale in comparison to the Doctor's, it still gets points for being intended as a Defiant to the End boast and for successfully pissing off Dalek Sec):
    Rose: I met the Emperor. And I took the Time Vortex and poured it into his head and turned him into dust. D'you get that? The God of all Daleks and I destroyed him. HAH!
    • Nearly everything the Daleks say for the Villain to Hero variety. Or in the case of "Doomsday", Villain to Villain:
    Cyber Leader: Daleks, be warned. You have declared war upon the Cybermen.
    Dalek Sec: This is not war — THIS IS PEST CONTROL!
    Cyber Leader: We have five million Cybermen. How many are you?
    Dalek Sec: Four.
    Cyber Leader: You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?
    Dalek Sec: WE WOULD DESTROY THE CYBERMEN WITH ONE DALEK! You are superior in only one respect.
    Cyber Leader: What is that?
    Dalek Sec: You are better at dying!
    • In this case, Dalek Sec is not only boasting, but making an objective statement of fact. The odds really were that one-sided. In spite of the Cyber Leader calling in reinforcements, the Daleks later gunned them down with impunity.
  • And in "The Family of Blood", Tim Latimer makes a badass boast on behalf of the Doctor: "I've seen him. He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night, and the storm in the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever... He burns at the center of time and he can see the turn of the universe... And... he's wonderful."
  • From "Voyage of the Damned": "I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation Kasterborous. I'm 903 years old, and I'm the man who's going to save your lives, and all six billion on the planet below. You got a problem with that?"
  • From "The Doctor's Daughter": "Well, you need to get yourself a better dictionary. When you do, look up 'genocide'. You'll find a little picture of me there, and the caption'll read 'Over my dead body.'"
  • The new series shows that the Doctor can do these indirectly and evil will retreat. Case in point from "Forest of the Dead":
    "I'm the Doctor, and you're in the biggest library in the universe. Look me up."
  • A quieter variation took place in "Planet of the Dead", where the Doctor calmed down the passengers of a bus trapped on a distant planet after their bus-driver died trying to pass through the wormhole, by reminding them of their lives back on Earth. This time around he was more able to keep his promise: "That planet out there, with three suns, wormhole and alien sand, that planet is nothing — you hear me, nothing — compared to all those things waiting for you. Food, home, people—hold on to that. 'Cause we're gonna get there. I promise. I'm gonna get you home."
  • Similarly, from the Eleventh Doctor's premiere "The Eleventh Hour"...
    The Doctor: One more question. Just one. Is this world protected? [As one of the Atraxi looks at records of various other MotW that have attacked Earth, ever.] 'Cause you lot aren't the first to come here. Oh, there have been so many. What you have to ask yourselves is: What happened to them? (The Atraxi get a montage of all Doctors from William Hartnell to David Tennant with Matt Smith emerging from the image of the last Doctor) Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically... run.
  • "The Time of Angels" has another, with his response to the Weeping Angels taunting him.
    The Doctor: There's one thing you never put in a trap if you're smart. If you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow there's one thing you never, ever put in a trap.
    Angel Bob: What's that, sir?
    The Doctor: Me.
  • The Doctor's timing for these is sometimes less than stellar. In addition to a couple mentioned earlier where he failed to make good on them, there's "The Lodger", where he hears somebody mention annihilating their enemies and immediately launches into one of his Oncoming Storm speeches about how he won't allow annihilation on his watch, only to belatedly realize they were talking about football.
  • From "The Pandorica Opens", we have this speech, delivered to a swarm of hostile spaceships containing every single one of the Doctor's many enemies above Stonehenge.
    The Doctor: Hello Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica, takes the universe! But, bad news everyone, 'cause guess who! HAH! You lot, you're all whizzing about, it's very distracting. Could you all stay still for a moment, because I! AM! TALKING! Now the question of the hour is who's got the Pandorica. Answer: I do. Next question: who's coming to take it from me? Come onnnnnn! Look at me, no plan, no backup, no weapons worth a damn. Oh, and something else: I don't have anything. To. Lose. So! If you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceships with all your silly little guns, and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica, tonight, just remember who's standing in your way. Remember every black day I ever stopped you. And then, AND THEN, do the smart thing. Let someone else try first. [cue shot of spaceships flying away]
    • What makes this Badass Boast pure Doctor? He opens his speech by dropping the microphone and then apologizing.
    • The Doctor earlier makes a completely unintentional Baddass Boast, unaware that the creature he's describing is himself (made all the better when you recall all the times he's boasted about the things that fear him):
    The Doctor: There was a goblin. Or a trickster, or a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. Nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it -– one day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.
  • In "The Big Bang", River notes that she has the ability to kill a weakened Dalek, and the Dalek points out that records indicate the Doctor's companions always show mercy in such situations. "I'm River Song. Check your records again." The Dalek stops, then begs for mercy.
    Amy: What happened to the Dalek?
    River: It died.
  • In "The Impossible Astronaut", the Eleventh Doctor gets angry when his companions are hiding something from him, and he calmly warns them, "Don't play games with me. Don't ever, ever think you're capable of that."
  • From "Day of the Moon", when the Doctor defeats the Silence:
    The Doctor: And one whacking great kick up the backside for the Silence! You just raised an army against yourselves! And now, for a thousand generations, you're going to be ordering them to destroy you, every day. How fast can you run? Because today's the day the human race throws you off their planet, and they won't even know they're doing it. I think quite possibly the word you're looking for, right now, is... whoops, run. Guys, I mean us: RUN!
  • From "The Doctor's Wife":
    House: Fear me, Doctor. I've killed hundreds of Time Lords.
    The Doctor: Fear me. I've killed all of them.
  • In "A Good Man Goes to War", Matt Smith's excellent delivery of the 11th Doctor's retort to the assumption that he is a good man and good men won't do anything bad when angry makes the statement far more threatening than it would be otherwise.
    Madame Kovarian: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules.
    The Doctor: Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.
    • Earlier in this episode, Amy got to Badass Boast on behalf of her husband Rory:
      Amy Pond: [to her baby] I wish I could tell you that you'll be loved, that you'll be safe, and cared for, and protected, but this isn't the time for lies. What you are going to be, Melody, is very, very brave. But not as brave as they all have to be, because there's somebody coming. I don't know where he is, or what he's doing, but trust me: he's on his way. There's a man who's never going to let us down, and not even an army can get in the way. He's the last of his kind. He looks young, but he's lived for hundreds and hundreds of years. And wherever they take you, Melody, however scared you are, I promise you, you will never be alone, because this man is your father. He has a name, but the people of our world know him better... as the Last Centurion.
      • Made even better because until the last two words, every viewer thinks she's talking about the Doctor, even when she mentions the "father" bit. And the Doctor does have a name. It's just that nobody save River and probably the Master knows it.
  • From "The Rings of Akhaten", to a so-called god which feeds off of psychic imprints:
    The Doctor: I walked away from the Last Great Time War. I marked the passing of the Time Lords. I saw the birth of the universe, and watched as time ran out, moment by moment, until nothing remained! No time. No space. Just me! I've walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a mad . . . man. I've watched universes freeze and creations burn. I have seen things you wouldn't believe. I have lost things you'll never understand. And I know things. Secrets that must never be told. Knowledge that must never be spoken. Knowledge that will make parasite gods blaze. So come on then! Take it! Take it all, baby! Have it! You have it all!
    • Given that the Doctor later chants "home again, home again, jiggerty-jig", the Blade Runner reference was probably deliberate.
  • Kate Lethbridge-Stewart gets in a good one in "The Day of the Doctor":
    Kate: [to the Zygon who is impersonating her] Somewhere in your memory is a man called Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart. I'm his daughter.
    [Zygon!Kate's eyes widen in fear.]
    • Another one from "The Day of the Doctor":
    War Doctor: There's still a billion billion Daleks up there attacking.
    Eleventh Doctor: Yeah, there is! There is!
    Tenth Doctor: ... but, there's something those billion billion Daleks don't know.
    Eleventh Doctor: ... because if they did, they'd probably send for reinforcements.
    Clara: What? What don't they know?
    Eleventh Doctor: This time there's three of us.
    • Perhaps the most magnificent example also occurs in the 50th anniversary special, when the War Doctor, Tenth and Eleventh Doctors call the War Council of Gallifrey and assure them that they'll do everything they can to save the planet and its commoners, without so much as firing a shot. While the members of the council admire their bravery and resolve, they question the technical feasibility of the idea, and especially the reasoning of the Doctors. Cue the following lines from the Tenth and Eleventh Doctor:
    Eleventh Doctor: Because the alternative is burning...
    Tenth Doctor: ...and I've seen that...
    Eleventh Doctor: ...and I never want to see it again!
  • From "Mummy on the Orient Express":
    "One minute with me and this thing would be over."
    • He succeeds.
  • From "Flatline":
    The Doctor: I tried to talk, I want you to remember that. I tried to reach out, I tried to understand you, but I think that you understand us perfectly. And I think that you just don't care! And I don't know whether you are here to invade, infiltrate or just replace us. I don't suppose it really matters now, you are monsters! That is the role you seem determined to play, so it seems that I must play mine: The man that stops the monsters! I'm sending you back to your own dimension. Who knows? Some of you may even survive the trip, and if you do, remember this: you are not welcome here! This plane is protected! I am the Doctor! [catches his screwdriver] And I name you: the Boneless!
  • In "The Witch's Familiar", he gets one that's not quite as long-winded as his most memorable speeches, but it gets to the point: He's taken Davros' chair, knowing that Davros has it equipped with a force field Dalek beams can't penetrate. When what the Daleks think is Davros arrives, and the door opens and it's the Doctor, and all the Daleks stop short, the Doctor says to them: "Admit it, you've all had this exact nightmare."
    • Another line from the same episode:
    The Doctor: Ask me what I want.
    Supreme Dalek: Irrelevant. You will not prevail. You will not succeed.
    The Doctor: I've been at the heart of your empire for 42 minutes, and I own it, and I haven't even got out of my chair. Ask me what I want.
    Supreme Dalek: ...What do you want?
  • From "The Girl Who Died", after the Twelfth Doctor remembers where he got his face from:
    The Doctor: I know where I got this face and I know what it's for... To remind me. To hold me to the mark. I'm the Doctor and I save people and if anyone happens to be listening and you have any kind of a problem with that: TO HELL WITH YOU!
  • "Face the Raven" has the Doctor deliver one to Ashildr during his epic Freak Out! over the impending death of Clara in which he threatens to bring down the might of UNIT, the Zygons and even his mortal enemies the Daleks and Cybermen and "rain hell on you for the rest of time." He furthermore momentarily renounces his name and tells Ashildr "I will end you and everything you love". Clara spends the rest of her (natural) life talking him down from following through.
    • But in the next episode, "Heaven Sent", the Doctor is now The Unfettered and issues the following threat to whomever is holding him captive:
    The Doctor: If you think because she is dead, I am weak, then you understand very little. If you were any part of killing her, and you're not afraid, then you understand nothing at all. So, for your own sake, understand this. I am the Doctor. I'm coming to find you, and I will never, ever stop.
  • And in the episode Extremis, the Doctor quietly shows that he is really not to be messed with:
    The Doctor: Do me a favor. The Fatality Index. Look up "The Doctor"...
    Executioner: You have an entry, like any other sentient being.
    Doctor: ...under cause of death.
    Executioner: [device pinging] You do seem to have an impressive number of fatalities connected to you. [device keeps counting] A truly remarkable record. [device clicks faster, the guards begin leaving] Where are you going?! He's unarmed! You are unarmed?
    Doctor: Always.
    Executioner: [device is now emitting a high pitched whine as it counts higher] You stand alone.
    Doctor: Often.
    Executioner: [angrily] You're the one who should be afraid.
    Doctor: Never.
    Executioner: [leaving; results are still coming] Have a nice day, then.
  • Naturally, that incarnation of the Doctor gets to go out with a pretty good one in Twice Upon A Time:
    Twelfth Doctor: Here's what's going to happen. First, I'm going to escape. You, with me.
    Glass Woman: Escape is not possible.
    Twelfth Doctor: It is possible, and it is happening, and I'm taking Bill and the Captain with me.
    Glass Woman: Escape is not possible.
    Twelfth Doctor: Oh, I'm going to do way more than escape. I'm going to find out who you are and what you're doing, and if I don't like it, I will come back and I will stop you. I will stop all of you!
    First Doctor: Who the hell do you think you are?
    Twelfth Doctor: The Doctor.
    • Which says it all, really.