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Badass Boast: Live-Action TV

Shows with their own pages:


Other examples:

  • Babylon 5 — "I am Susan Ivanova. Commander. Daughter of Andrei and Sophie Ivanova. I am the right hand of vengeance... and the boot that's going to kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart! I am Death Incarnate... and the last living thing that you are ever going to see. God sent me."
    • She actually makes a minor habit of this sort of thing: "On your trip back, I'd like you to take the time to learn the Babylon 5 mantra: Ivanova... is always right. I will listen to Ivanova. I will not ignore Ivanova's recommendations. Ivanova... is God. And, if this ever happens again, Ivanova will personally rip your lungs out! Babylon Control out."
      • Followed by an upward glance towards the aforementioned deity, and an off-the-mic, "Just kidding about the 'God' part. No offense." which was such a contrast to the immediately previous awesomeness, that it only made the whole thing funnier.
    • And even earlier, Delenn did one for her world's entire military:
      Delenn: This is Ambassador Delenn of the Minbari. Babylon 5 is under our protection. Withdraw... or be destroyed!
      Enemy: Negative. [...] Do not force us to engage your ship.
      Delenn: Why not? Only one human captain has ever survived battle with a Minbari fleet. He is behind me. You are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else!
    • And on another occasion, Marcus Cole explained to a group of thugs why they should tell him what he wanted to know: "Because if you don't, then in five minutes I'll be the only person at this table still standing. Five minutes after that, I'll be the only person in this room still standing. So, who's in?" After he makes good on this threat, he laments, "Bugger! Now I have to wait for someone to wake up!"
      • Before anyone does, Lennier comes along, looking for Marcus, leading to this boastful exchange:
        Marcus: During my Ranger training they said I had a lot of repressed rage.
        Lennier: Well?
        Marcus: I'm not repressed any more.
    • It gets better in the RPG. Whenever Minbari Rangers meet, they do this. Why? Because they have a loose hierarchy. Whoever is most badass is team leader.
    • Lyta Alexander loves to play with this trope:
      Michael Garibaldi: Something's happened to your abilities. You're not a P5 anymore. Hell, you're not even a P12. You're the strongest telepath that I've ever seen. What did the Vorlons do to you, Lyta? Who .. what are you?
      Lyta Alexander: I've only recently begun to understand it myself. You know the Vorlons used telepaths as weapons during the Shadow War, but what no one stopped to consider was that in a war, you have a certain number of small weapons, a certain number of medium-sized weapons ... and one or two big ones ... the kind of weapons you drop when you're ... out of the small weapons and the medium weapons and you've got nothing left to use.
      Michael Garibaldi: Someone like that would ... be the telepathic equivalent of a thermonuclear ... device, a ... a doomsday weapon.
      Lyta Alexander: (eyes starts glowing) Pleased to meet you, Mr. Garibaldi.
  • Sherlock: Sherlock tells Moriarty in no uncertain terms that if he harms his friends, Sherlock will burn him right back.
    Moriarty: Sherlock, your big brother and all the King's horses couldn't make me do a thing I didn't want to.
    Sherlock: Yes. But I'm not my brother, remember? I am you. Prepared to do anything. Prepared to burn. Prepared to do what ordinary people won't do. You want me to shake hands with you in hell, I shall not disappoint you.
    Moriarty: Nah. You talk big. Nah. You're ordinary. You're ordinary. You're on the side of the angels.
  • From The Vampire Diaries there is Klaus. There is never a time when he is not bragging.
    • Damon could also classify as well.
  • From the Doctor Who spin-off Torchwood, freshly-resurrected Owen Harper faces off against a security guard and rolls off a particularly badass talk-down:
    Owen: I'm wrong.
    Guard: What are you?
    Owen: I'm broken.
    Guard: What are you!?
    Owen: I'm Dr. Owen Harper. And I'm having one hell of a day. *smack*
    • Another Badass boast made by Owen in "Dead Man Walking" also doubles as an inspirational speech.
      Owen [talking to a child cancer patient] Jamie, you're scared, of course you are, the last lot of chemo didn't work and you can't bear the thought of going through all that pain again, I understand that mate, I really do. But let me tell you, that not everyone dies from this disease. And the ones with the best chance of making it are the ones who believe they can beat death. And sometimes, just sometimes, you can. So watch and learn, Jamie Burton.
      Child Watch what?
      Owen Watch me. Beat. Death.
  • From The Wire, Badass Longcoat wearing gunslinger Omar Little, who has just taken out one assassin while injuring another: "'Ey yo, lesson here Bey. You come at the king, you best not miss."
    • From Carver, threatening a hiding drug runner in Season 3. Somewhat less badass in practice, as the corner boys run rings around the Western DEU, but still quite good for the delivery and wording:
    Hey listen to me you little fucking piece of shit! Imma tell you one thing and one thing only about the Western boys you are playing with: We do not lose! And we do not forget! And we do not give up! Ever! So I'm only going to say this one time: If you march your ass out here right now and put the bracelets on, we will not kick the living shit out of you. But if you make us go into them weeds for you, or if you make us come back tomorrow night, catch you on a corner, I swear to fucking Christ, we will beat you longer and harder than you beat your own dick! Because you do not get to win, shitbird; we do!
    • From Wee-Bey Brice, best drug soldier the West Side ever saw, through prison glass to his nasty wife who is trying to force his son to be a gangster like him (to keep her in furs, essentially), which he does not want:
    Remember who the fuck you are talking to right here. Remember who I am. My word is still my word. In here, in Baltimore, in any place you even think of calling home, it'll be my word that finds you.
  • Averted or something (subverted?) in Blake's 7 "Weapon": The eponymous Blake is a famous freedom fighter. He meets a man named Coser who says, full of hero-worship, "You're Blake! You're Blake!!" Blake says calmly, "Yes, I know who I am."
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
    • Subverted in "Amends," the episode where Buffy first meets the First Evil:
    The First: I'm not a demon, little girl, I am something you cannot even conceive. The first evil. Beyond sin. Beyond death. I am the thing the darkness fears. You'll never see me but I am everywhere. Every being. Every thought. Every drop of hate.
    Buffy: All right, I get it. You're evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?
    • Later, Buffy gives one of these to the First's Turok-han champion. In a twist, the champion doesn't understand language and Buffy knows it. The real audience is the watching potentials, who need some inspiration:
      Buffy: Looks good, doesn't it? They're trapped in here. Terrified, meat for the beast, and there's nothing they can do but wait. That's all they've been doing for days, waiting to be picked off, having nightmares about monsters that can't be killed. But I don't believe in that. I always find a way. I'm the thing that monsters have nightmares about. And right now, you and me are gonna show 'em why.
      • This one is followed shortly by another speech to the Potentials, at the end of the episode:
        Buffy: I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. I'm standing on the mouth of Hell and it is going to swallow me whole... and it'll choke on me. We're not ready? They're not ready! They think we're gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I'm done waiting. They want an apocalypse? Well, we'll give 'em one. Anyone else who wants to run, do it now, 'cause we just became an army. We just declared war. From now on, we won't just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. We will find them, and cut out their hearts, one by one, until the First shows itself for what it really is. And I'll kill it myself. There is only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil. And that's us. Any questions?
    • Buffy also gets a one-word Badass Boast toward the end of the second season finale:
      Angelus: No weapons. No friends. No hope. Strip all that away, and what's left? (swings his sword toward Buffy, intending to slice her in half)
      Buffy: (catching the sword in her hands) Me.
    • Buffy also gets another one in the very next episode "Anne". Having fled Sunnydale, she's trying to abandon everything of her life as the Slayer, even to the point of going by her middle name, Anne. Then she gets tricked into falling into a hell dimension where demons are using humans kidnapped from Earth as slaves. To each slave, the slaver asks "Who are you?" then beats the captive until they reply "Nobody". The he reaches Buffy:
      Demon: Who are you?
    • And then there's the time Willow and Andrew tried to get into a Badass Boast duel...
      Andrew: I am bad. I'm bad, I'm evil, but I'm protected by powerful forces. Forces you can't even begin to imagine, little girl. If you harm me, you shall know the wrath of he that is darkness and terror. Your blood will boil, and you will know true suffering. Stand down, she-Witch. Your defeat is at hand.
      Willow: Shut your mouth. I am a she-witch, a very powerful she-witch... or witch, as is more accurate. I'm not to be trifled with.
      Amdrew: But I...
      Willow: I'm talking. Don't interrupt me, insignificant man. I am Willow. I am Death. If you dare defy me, I will call down my fury, exact fresh vengeance, and make your worst fears come true. (Brightly) 'Kay?
      • Most of the scene is played for humor, but Willow's last line is deadly serious. One season before, she could never have pulled it off.
    • In the episode "Choices":
      Buffy: Looks like a job for Wiccan girl. What do you say, Will? Big time danger.
      Willow: Hey, I eat danger for breakfast.
      Xander: But, oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods
    • And hilariously subverted in the third episode of the first season:
      Xander: I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.
    • Season 9:
    Angel: "Willow... can you handle Quor'toth?"
    Willow: "Can I handle an Old One? The embodiment of the most hellish of all hell dimensions? Heh. Here's a better question, Angel. Can it handle me?" (proceeds to have a Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu? moment.)
  • In Stargate SG-1, she gets a good one in on her way out. "Make no mistake — Osiris will return. And the rivers of the Earth will run red with blood."
    • O'Neill has one that doubles a Crowning Moment of Funny:
      Ba'al's Holographic Projection: You dare mock me?
      O'Neill: Ba'al, come on. You should know. Of course I dare mock you.
      Ba'al Holographic Projection: You have one more day.
      Ba'al terminates the communication.
      O'Neill's New Aide: Is it really wise to provoke him?
      O'Neill: It's What I Do.
    • There were a couple of occasions where the team had to remind themselves of their kill tally so far. This was nicely turned around in "The Warrior," where another character does it for them:
      Kitano: I honor he who would kill his god, and to his brethren of the Tau'ri: slayers of Ra, Hathor, Setesh, Heru'ur, Sokar, Cronus, and Apophis.
      O'Neill: Well, somebody's been keeping score.
      • Even more awesome when you consider Apophis should be listed more than once.
      • Technically, Teal'c robotic double killed Cronus, but the double had Teal'c personality and memories, so it still counts.
    • And in Stargate Atlantis, McKay lets off one in "Brain Storm"
      "Hey, I'm Dr. Rodney Mckay, all right? 'Difficult' takes a few seconds, 'impossible' a few minutes."
  • Captain Jean-Luc Picard delivered such pithy badass boasts on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Consider this beauty from "The Defector", where a Romulan commander is trying to threaten Picard into surrendering:
    Tomalak: I give you 30 seconds to reconsider, Picard.
    Picard: I do not require one, Tomalak. ... If the cause is just and honorable, [the crew] are prepared to give their lives. Are you prepared to die today, Tomalak?
    • "We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile."
      • The variation from "The Best of Both Worlds". It's followed by the biggest Curb-Stomp Battle the Federation has ever faced.
        I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile. Your life, as it has been, is over. From this time foward, you will service us.
    • "The Ensigns of Command"
      Troi: Captain, when the treaty was first negotiated, the Federation sent 372 legal experts. What do we have?
      Picard: Thee and me.
    • The above is made sweeter by the episode's climax: Picard flips the treaty around, abuses a loophole, then puts the alien marauders on hold while nonchalantly dusting a wall plaque.
    • In "Sins of the Father":
      Duras: This is not your world, human. You do not command here.
      Picard: I'm not here to command.
      Duras: Then you must be ready to fight. Something Starfleet does not teach you.
      Picard: You may test that assumption at your convenience.
      • Keep in mind, this is AFTER Worf's brother has already been stabbed. Picard proves he's not just bluffing later in the episode by fighting off Duras' assassins.
  • And from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine we have Koloth's reintroduction, after sneaking into Odo's office.
    Odo: How did you get in here?
    Koloth: I am Koloth.
    Odo: That doesn't answer my question.
    • Odo gets his own in the episode The Way of the Warrior.
      Odo: Doctor, if a Klingon were to kill me, I'd expect nothing less than an entire Opera on the subject.
    • Kira pulls one off in the pilot episode, which is even more badass because she's bluffing the whole time.
      Jasad: Defend it? Your space station could not defend itself against one Cardassian warship.
      Kira: You're probably right, Jasad. And if you were dealing with a Starfleet officer, they'd probably admit we have a hopeless cause here. But I'm just a Bajoran who's been fighting a hopeless cause against the Cardassians all her life. So if you want a war, I'll give you one.
  • An exchange of badass boasts between Worf and the Jem'hader sergeant:
    Lt. Commander Worf: Is there no Jem'Hadar willing to face me?
    Deyos: Fascinating. Even after all he's been through, the Klingon still thirsts for battle. Doesn't he ever tire of it?
    Ikat'ika: I never do.
    Deyos: You fight because that is what you were designed to do. All that motivates him is some barbaric sense of honor.
    Ikat'ika: And that is something you will never understand.
    Ikat'ika: Prepare yourself. I've found you a worthy opponent.
    Lt. Commander Worf: Where is he?
    Ikat'ika: Right in front of you.
    Ikat'ika: Victory is life!
    Lt. Commander Worf: Today is a good day to die.
  • Farscape had a few, particularly from John Crichton when he strolled into an intergalactic peace summit at a hidden Scarran base with a nuclear weapon clipped to his belt:
    Crichton: Plutonium core. Tritium shell. Does that translate?
    Staleek: A fission bomb.
    Crichton: Nice threads. You must be the Emperor. Now, before anybody decides to get clever, you should know I have multiple deadman sensors from every culture on my ship and a few cultures I haven't heard of. My heart stops, we all go boom. My heart speeds up, it's boom again. Too hot, too cold, too happy, too sad, thirsty, hungry, bored — it's John Lee Hooker time. Boom, boom, boom. And you try your little psychic trick — kaboom! — and we're all pushin' up day-glo daisies.
    Staleek: What do you want.
    Crichton: What do I want? What do I want? I have not been chasing my ass all over the galaxy trying to pull out chunks of my brain. I have not been sneaking fembots and Skreeths into the places where I live! You want something. You. You want what's inside my head. You want what I know about wormholes. (jumps up onto the table) Because I can leap tall galaxies in a single bound! I can scorch planets with a wave of my hand. And you... And you. And you. You can't do jack.
    Grayza: That's not true.
    Crichton: Oh, really? You command the stars to do your bidding? I know you can't. And you can't. And you won't. And I did.
    Grayza: If you have this power, then why are you here?
    Crichton: Because I... Am an American. And what does an American want? Democracy? Capitalism! I want to sell out and settle down. For one day only, it's a Blue Light Special on Aisle Three. My wormhole technology -and a free set of steak knives- for all the tea in China. And anything you can imagine to pay me. Welcome to my Cold War!
    Stark: "If you've got a deity you had better make your peace with it now, because I'm going to lead you to the other side real quick."
  • "I am Lord Zedd, emperor of all that is evil." or "I am Lord Zedd, ruler of all that I see."
  • Kai's speech from Lexx: "I've killed mothers with their babies. I've killed great politicians, proud young warriors, and revolutionaries. I've killed the evil, the good, the intelligent, the weak, and the beautiful. I have done this in the service of His Divine Shadow and his predecessors, and I have never once shown any mercy."
    • His Divine Shadow, returned to his original body the Gigashadow, makes his own boast while the Lexx tries to escape: "Stupid humans. Your entire species is MINE!"
  • From The Sarah Jane Adventures:
    Sarah Jane Smith: Listen to me, Darkening. I have fought the worst things from the darkest corners of the Universe. You don't stand a ghost of a chance.
  • In the 1998 series Merlin, Mab attempts to convince the ancient Rock of Ages not to give Excalibur to Arthur, arguing that Arthur will destroy the Old Ways and the Rock of Ages will be forgotten. The voice of the Mountain King promptly sets her straight on why he isn't worried about this.
    The Mountain King: That is your fear, not mine, Mab. I cannot die. I am the Rock of Ages; I will live forever, on the edge of dreams.
  • Russell Edgington in True Blood has one, murdering a reporter on national television and declaring himself "the true face of vampires." It goes on a bit more, ending with "We will eat you, after we eat your children."
  • Firefly:
    • "Now think real hard: You've been bird-doggin' this township for a while now. They wouldn't mind a corpse of you. Now, you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you."
    • "No power in the 'Verse can stop me."
    • "Also? I can kill you with my brain."
    • "Now I did a job. I ain't got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regards to my character, so let me make this abundantly clear: I do the job. And then I get paid."
    • Crow tries. "Keep the money. Use it to buy a funeral. It doesn't matter where you go or how far you fly. I will hunt you down, and the last thing you see will be my blade." It doesn't work, since Mal just kicks him into the engine and starts his spiel on the next guy.
    • What about Jayne's off-hand Badass Boast: "Six men came to kill me one time. The best of them carried this."
    • Simon gives one about himself to the rest of the crew about just how smart... But he's talking about his sister River, and that's all just to establish a baseline so that when he tells them that she "makes me look like an idiot child", they can understand just how awesome she is.
  • Mitchell from Being Human gets a few.
    Don't you know who I am!? My name is John Mitchell and I've killed more people than you've met!
    • Annie gets one with reference to the whole trio:
      Annie: There is a question you haven't asked yourself yet. If I exist what else does? You think you're the big bad wolf. You should see George on a full moon. You think you're a cold-blooded murderer? Mitchell was killing 80 years before you were even born. Don't you get it yet? I'm just the tip of the iceberg, I'm good cop. Look at you, so pleased with your grubby little murder. Fact is, when it comes to pure naked evil you're an amateur. I want you to know you wandered off the path. This is where the wild things are, and we have got your scent now. We can find you at the edge of the earth and create unimaginable tortures... and now I'm going to tell you the very worst thing in the world, something only the dead know... (leans forward to whisper into Owen's ear)
      Owen: Th-that's not true!
      Annie: I saw it. My advice to you; find a safe place with locks and bad dogs and never, ever turn out the light.
  • Lex Luthor in Smallville: "I am the villain of the story."
    • Brainiac also gets one, although it helps to understand the context. Having been nearly destroyed by Clark in Season 5, it takes him until Season 7 to rebuild From a Single Cell. When Bizarro finds him halfway through Season 7, he is therefore weak, dying, barely holding himself together, and feeding off of people and animals in order to hold his Nanomachines in place. When he and Bizarro team up, he proposes that he be the one to kill Clark. Bizarro tells him: "You? You can barely catch a rat." Brainiac responds with the following short, but sweet boast:
      "I am the Brain Inter Active Construct. No matter my form, my intellect remains formidable. Do not underestimate me."
      • Given the context, pretty Badass. He then proceeds to manipulate both Clark and Bizarro to his own ends, fully living up to the boast.
    • Beast:
      Clark: I don't wanna hurt you, Davis.
      Davis/Doomsday: Don't worry. You can't.
    • And then there's the Martian Manhunter: "I'm Mars' last survivor. There's a reason for that."
    • Also, from Major Zod in the Season 9 finale: "Unlike you I will lead from a throne, not from the shadows. Every human on earth, including the woman you love will Kneel Before Zod!"
      • He did an earlier one when he found out one of his solfiers (and lover) turned against him:
        If I ever learned that insurrection had spread across my ranks...If I ever discovered that my men had aligned themselves against me, I would raze this planet. I would burn it to the ground till the last ember went cold beneath my boot! Now only I will lead us to the next age. All will follow Zod.
    • Lois gets one in Dominion.
      Lois:Being a hero's wife means never accepting defeat.
  • Hilariously averted in Deadwood, when Seth (accurately) calls Sol's current lover a whore.
    Sol: We're done. If you keep it up, we're going to fight, and you'll have to work by yourself while I convalesce.
  • Warehouse 13 - Not so much a Badass Boast as a Creepy As Hell Statement Of Facts, but after Helena Wells has won massive Woobie-points explaining that her daughter was murdered in a random break-in that she was unable to stop:
    Claudia: I imagine losing a child is the worst pain a person can go through.
    Helena: No actually. When I tracked them down. What I did to the men who kill my daughter? That's the worst pain a person can go through.
  • In Angel, the title character gives one to Lindsey:
    All those tattoos, all those new tricks you've learned...doesn't matter what you try. Doesn't matter where I am or how badass you think you've become. 'Cause you know what? I'm Angel. I beat the bad guys.
  • The angels in Supernatural get a few of these. Particularly Castiel in early S4.
    Castiel: You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell, and I can throw you back in.
    • Also, Zachariah in 5.16.
      Zachariah: In Heaven I have six wings and four faces, one of which is a lion.
    • 'They call me Gabriel'. It's all in the delivery.
    • Not to be left out - Lucifer.
      Lucifer: I will never lie to you; I will never trick you; you will say yes to me.
    • Castiel again in the fifth season when facing Raphael.
      Castiel: Maybe someday, but today, you're my little bitch.
    • Castiel yet again in the season 6 finale, when Sam stabs him with an angel's sword.
      Castiel: The angel blade won't work, because I'm not an angel anymore. I'm your new God. A better one. So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord, or I shall destroy you.
    • Death gets several right from his introduction, just watch this clip
    • The humans get 'em too.
      Castiel: You're just a man. I'm an angel.
      Dean: I don't know. I've taken some pretty big fish.
    • Also, when Dean and Sam have trapped a demon whose influence was substantial in bringing about the apocalypse.
      Dean:All those angels, all those demons, all those sons of bitches, they just don't get it, do they Sammy?
      Sam:No, they don't, Dean.
      Dean: You see, Brady, we're the ones you should be afraid of.
    • When soulless Sam tells Castiel that if he doesn't help the Winchesters in their latest problem, Sam will kill him:
      Castiel: Will you, boy? How?
      Sam: I don't know, but I'll find a way. And I don't sleep.
    • And the demons.
      Crowley gets punched in the face: You're good... stabs his opponent ...but I'm Crowley.
  • Hank from Terriers gets one near the end of the pilot: "I'm gonna destroy you, Lindus. I coulda walked away from this thing an hour ago eating shit and Jesus knows I've eaten enough in my life. But you killed my friend. So I'm going to destroy you. And I just wanted you to know that."
  • It may not be nearly the same kind of show as the ones listed here, but Glee even manages to get one from Santana.
    Santana: First of all, anything you do became my business when you decided to toss that slushie up in my grill.
    Karofsky: I think I can take a couple of queers and a girl.
    Santana: Ha. See here's what's gonna go down. 2 choices: you stay here and I crack one of your nuts - right or left that's your choice - or you walk away and live to be a douchebag another day. Oh, and also? I have razor blades hidden in my hair. Mm-hm. Tons, just all up in there.
    • It is however seriously subverted when she tries it on wrestling champion Lauren Zizes who beats her down during the badass boast. Santana even continues the boast after being beaten.
  • One does not piss off Special Agents Rossi and Hotchner of Criminal Minds.
    • Rossi, from "Masterpiece: "You waited until I turned my back, didn't you Henry? Just like you did with those women. (Grace tries to punch him, Rossi slams him back on the wall.) Don't give me a reason to hurt you. Oh and one more thing, I'm gonna be there when they strap you down for that lethal injection. And just before they hit the plunger, I'm gonna lean real close and tell you to SAY HELLO TO YOUR SCUMBAG BROTHER!!"
    • Chester Hardwicke from "Damaged" gets one, but Hotch has an excellent comeback:
      Hardwicke: It's 5:17. Evening hours started at five o'clock. The guards are all outside with the population. There won't be anyone to open that door for at least thirteen minutes, and it took me less than five to do this. (Holds up the picture of his victim.) While you were doing your research, maybe a question or two about security tones would have been a good idea?
      Hotch: I heard the security tones.
      Hardwicke: So you planned to be locked inside with me with no guns or weapons?
      Hotch: I won't need a gun.
      Hardwicke: There's no way they're going to execute me next week. Not after I kill two FBI agents. You saved my life by coming here.
      Hotch: Unfortunately for you, I'm not a five-foot-tall, hundred pound girl. (takes off his jacket) All your life, you've gone after victims who couldn't fight back. And the rest of the time, you spent looking over your shoulder, worried about the knock on the door. (removes his tie) Scared that someone like me would be on the other side waiting to put you away. At your core, you're a coward!
  • Game of Thrones:
    Ser Jaime Lannister: There are no men like me. Only me.
    • Jaime is quite good at these in the books, and that is carried over into the TV series:
      Jory Cassel: If you threaten my lord again...
      Ser Jaime Lannister: "Threaten?" As in: "I'm going to open your lord from balls to brain and see what Starks are made of?"
    • in The Pointy End Robb uses his family's Badass Creed as this:
      Robb: Tell Lord Tywin that winter is coming for him.
      • From the same episode:
      Syrio Forel: The First Sword of Braavos does not run
    • And Tyrion delivers one on Jamie's behalf in The Wolf And The Lion:
      Lysa: These men are knights of the Vale. Every one of them loved Jon Arryn. Every one of them would die for me.
      Tyrion: If any harm comes to me, my brother Jaime will see that they do.
    • Another excellent one from the same episode.
      Tyrion: The Eyrie, seat of House Arryn. They say it's impregnable.
      Bronn: Give me ten good men and some climbing spikes. I'll impregnate the bitch.
    • Dany finally standing up to her abusive brother in Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things:
      Daenerys: I am a khaleesi of the Dothraki. I am the wife of the great Khal and I carry his son inside of me. The next time you raise a hand to me will be the last time you have hands!
    • Another Dany one from the finale Fire and Blood:
      Daenerys: I am Daenerys Stormborn, of House Targaryen, of the blood of old Valyria. I am the dragon's daughter! And I swear to you, that those who would harm you will die screaming.
      Mirri Maz Duur: You will not hear me scream!
      Daenerys: I will! But it's not your screams I want. Only your life.
    • From the trailers for the second season:
      Daenerys: I am Daenerys Stormborn and I will take what is mine...with fire and blood. Subverted in that it has no effect on the boastee whatsoever, as he has just spent the entire scene crushing her beliefs about Westeros, and Dany sounds like she's going to burst into tears.
    • And another gem from the same source:
      Stannis: By right and birth and blood, I do this day lay claim to the Iron Throne of Westeros. Let all true men declare their loyalty. They shall bend a knee, or I will destroy them.
    • Balon Greyjoy gets one in his introductionary episode:
      Balon: No man gives me a crown. I pay the iron price. I will take my crown. That is who I am.
    • Let's not forget how Tyrion clinches his Rousing Speech to the defenders of King's Landing during the Battle of Blackwater Bay:
      Tyrion: Those are brave men knocking on our door. Let's go and kill them!
    • Stannis also gets a short sweet one during Blackwater, which becomes even more impressive when you remember he's not considered a charismatic commander:
      Stannis: Come with me and take this city!
    • Daenerys gets another one in "Valar Morghulis" when she's approaching the House of the Undying to rescue her dragons.
      Jorah: No guards. The warlocks kill with sorcery, not steel.
      Daenerys: Let them try.
    • Mance Rayder when asked what he'll do to signal the Wildlings to attack The Wall:
      Mance Rayder: When it's time, I'm going to light the biggest fire the North has ever seen!
  • Ford gets a nice one in the Leverage episode, "The Cross My Heart Job":
    Chesney: God helps those who help themselves.
    Ford: And I help people who can't. And God help you if anything should happen to that boy, because if he spends more than one second longer in that hospital than he needs to, I will make it my mission in life to end you. I will ruin you. I will ruin your name, I will ruin your company. I will bring down everything you have ever touched. And when I am done, I will hunt you down, and I will kill you myself.
    • Eliot gets a few good ones, too.
    Mook: You'll be unconscious in thirty seconds.
    Eliot: It'll take me ten seconds.
  • From Reaper:
    He eats guys like you for breakfast! And sometimes lunch... but mostly dinner.
    • Considering this was said by a demon talking to her human boyfriend about another demon, chances are she actually wasn't speaking metaphorically..
  • Variation appears on Rome.
    Atia: (to Octavian) Marc Antony buggers boys like you for a morning snack.
  • Grey's Anatomy: when Alex tries to hit on a pretty patient who doesn't speak English, her translator tells her that he's flirting with her and she sweetly replies "tell him that I eat little boys like him for breakfast." It's funny because she's a competitive eater.
  • Cougartown: When Andy is told he has to stay in a hot car for one hour, he responds, "I'm Cuban. We eat heat for breakfast." He doesn't last five minutes.
  • Walter White of Breaking Bad is a boasting machine, and that gives way to a lot of memorable ones. The one quoted below is actually a subversion that shows how deep in denial he is in season four - he insists to Skyler that he has everything under control, when Gus has him exactly where he wants him.
    "I'm not in danger, I am the danger!"
    "Do you know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop going into work? A business big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly up."
    "I am the one who knocks!"
    "If you don't know who I am, your best course of action is to tread lightly."
    • Gus has a moment after he wipes out the entire cartel leadership.
      "Don Eladio is dead! His capos are dead! You have no one left to fight for. Fill your pockets and leave in peace. Or fight me and die!"
  • Highlander Duncan gets one in the pilot. "'I am Duncan Macleod of the Clan Macleod and you are doomed."
    • Methos gets one of his own in 'Comes a Horseman'.
    Methos: I killed a thousand. I killed TEN thousand and I was good at it. I was death. Death on a horse!
  • Chuck , among many badass moments from the members of Team Bartowski, had this line from John Casey: "I'm a Casey. I don't run. I stalk my prey."
    • And perhaps even better, in the fourth season finale from Chuck himself after finding out Decker is going to let Sarah die, and shortly after hurling a chair at a monitor without flashing: "That guy may think he's a hardass. But I'm the Intersect." Theme music reprise blares, cue Title Screen.
    • An even better one by Casey, when threatened by a poisoner with enough toxin to kill an entire army platoon:
      Casey: Lucky for me I'm a Marine.
    • Chuck has another one in the first episode of Season 4:
      Chuck: Look, clearly you have no idea who I am since you only sent ten of your men to take care of me. So let me break it down for you: if you touch a hair on Sarah's head, I will do to you what I've just done to your men. Do you understand?
  • In Merlin, while there are a lot of these, they are almost all subverted in some way.
    • From the pilot, Arthur tells Merlin that "I could take you apart with one blow." The subversion is that, even untrained, Merlin could easily take him.
    • Merlin's response "I could take you apart with less than that." is also a subversion, despite being true, because magic is outlawed in Camelot and doing so would cause his death.
    • In Episode 5 of Series 1, Arthur tells a candidate knight. "You face the most feared of all foes, the ultimate killing machine. You face me." This would be a pretty awesome Badass Boast, if it weren't in the episode named Lancelot.
    • The Sorcerer's Shadow features a double subversion from Uther before he fights against Arthur in a tournament. "I didn't inherit this kingdom, I won it. One day you will be strong enough to take my crown, but not yet." The first subversion is that Arthur could beat him, and has spent most of the episode beforehand worrying about it. The second is that Uther knows this, but also knows that Arthur will throw the fight to help him save face, resulting in a victory for him regardless.
    • Merlin, however, plays the trope straight in "Aithusa".When on a quest to recover a dragon egg, Merlin finally makes it to the tomb and is fighting a would-be thief for it.
      I am the last dragonlord. And I am warning you, leave this egg alone.
    • This could be either a subversion or being played straight while confronting Lamia after she sucks the life from two knights. He gets knocked into a wall right afterward, and it's Arthur who winds up killing it.
      Merlin: You won't find me such easy prey.
      Lamia: Your magic holds no fear for me. I could have killed you any time I wished.
    • Merlin gets another opportunity to play this straight in The Hollow Queen when confronting bandits. What really sells this is the tone Colin Morgan uses, to the point where you can practically hear his eyes rolling.
      Merlin: If you value your lives, you won't take another step.
      Bandit Leader: You don't even have a sword.
      Merlin: I don't need one *sends him flying with magic*
      *20 or so bandits run away*
  • Community:
    Vice-Dean Robert Laybourne: You could have lived the rest of your life in ignorance and died a happy pansexual imp. But you wanted to feel power this year. Well, now you are going to feel my power, as it surges downward from me straight through you from nostril to rectum now until the end of time. And that's 'wassup'.
  • Person of Interest: A nervous Finch watches as Reese prepares to snipe a car with a Barrett anti-materiel rifle.
    Finch: What happens if you miss?
    Reese: I wouldn't know. Never have.
    • Finch also has a quieter boast in the opening narration:
    Finch: "Victim or perpetrator, if your number's up, we'll find you."
    • Also Finch to an 'untouchable' billionaire CEO
      Finch: Actually, I've sold my shares in Virtanen. In fact, I took my initial investment, and I shorted your company to the tune of a half billion shares.
      CEO: If you're betting against me, you clearly don't know who you're dealing with.
      Finch: Oh I know exactly what kind of man I'm dealing with, and I know you don't care who your hurt to get what you want. I know the only thing you do care about is money. So that's what I'm going to take from you: your money. All of it.
  • Justified gives us Tim Gutterson:
    "I can't carry a tune. I don't know how to shoot a basketball and my handwriting is, uh, barely legible. But I don't miss."
    • And Boyd Crowder, who after robbing an illegal poker game...
      Game boss: I'm gonna find you assholes.
      Boyd: My name's Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you want, but it'll be the last thing you ever do, I promise you that.
  • In House of Cards, Frank has his moments.
    Frank: You see, Freddy believes that if a fridge falls off a minivan, you better swerve out of its way. I believe it's the fridge's job to swerve out of mine.
  • Dexter
    Issac: I have a feeling that you're a different kind of animal. The question is, what kind are you, Dexter Morgan?
    Dexter: The kind who hunted your friend down and strapped him to a board and put a plastic bag on his head and crushed his skull with a fire extinguisher. The kind who's gonna do the same thing to you, give or take the fire extinguisher.
  • Two Celtic warriors get into a "boast battle" in Horrible Histories, which obviously included a fair few of these, including "I could fill a lake with the blood I've spilled!" In true Horrible Histories fashion, it gets silly at the end, with, "I get so mad I could stab a daisy! But I won't, cause that'd be stupid" and one of the warriors getting knifed and yelling for his mother.
  • Jekyll: You think that's enough for me? I'm mister HYYYYYYYYYYDE show a little respect!
  • Reddington explaining the people on The Blacklist in the pilot after capturing the first target:
    Reddington: "He's just a small fish... and I'm Ahab."
    • And again in the second episode, when confronting the villain of the week: "The FBI works for me now."
    • Reddington gets another one in "The Kingmaker" when he warns Fitch that he and his colleagues in the Alliance will regret not choosing to help Red in his conflict with Berlin:
    "Iím going to win this war. This enemy of mine will lose, even with you and your shortsighted brethren watching safely from a distant hill. Why? Because as bad as you think I am, as far as you think Iím willing to go to protect that which I hold most dear — you canít fathom how deep that well of mine truly goes."
  • In the commercials for the GSN version of The Chase, Mark Labbett delivers these to the viewers. For example...
    • "The average IQ is 129. Mine is 155. That means I'm a genius"
    • "It's important to spot the signs of a panic attack. They are [signs here]. Evil Laugh. That's what I look for when I go in for the kill!"
    • They can be seen here
  • Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, the American version. Contestant John Carpenter is going for the million-dollar question (the first contestant to do so). He hasn't even touched his lifelines, but when he's given the question, he decides to use his Phone-a-Friend lifeline to call his father:
  • "I'm just a passing-by Kamen Rider. Remember that!"
  • In Lost In Oz, Loriellidere gets one when Caleb holds her at gunpoint.
    Loriellidere: You? Kill me? I rule the ocean. I walk the skies. My eyes weep fire; my heart freezes liquid! I am the Wicked Witch of the West, and I cannot be killed by an inconsequent Earthborn nothing!

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