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Funny / Earthworm Jim

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     The Video Games


  • Anything involving a cow deserves special mention (particularly the second game's ending.)
  • The Bob the Killer Goldfish "boss battles" in both games.

Earthworm Jim

  • When you kill a lawyer in What the Heck?, they shout out "I'LL SUE!"
  • After an excruciatingly difficult Escort Mission in which Peter Puppy kicks your ass every time he's hurt, when you finally deliver him to his home, he happily waves goodbye to you.
  • The ending of the first game; Jim makes it to Princess What's-Her-Name, and she puckers up to grant a Smooch of Victory and the cow you sent flying up at the beginning of the game lands on her, knocking them both into a river/pit of lava. Jim mopes for a moment...then grabs her crown and happily wanders off.
    • The Special Edition adds an extended animation for Jim, pretty much turning him into the wolf from Red Hot Riding Hood as he howls, does an Eye Pop, and hits his head with a mallet repeatedly.

Earthworm Jim 2

  • "Well done." "Well done!" "Well done."
  • The quiz show portion of "Villi People"/"Jim is a Blind Cave Salamander" in Earthworm Jim 2, with its hilarious Moon Logic Puzzle questions.
    • What day is Jim's birthday?
    A) The day he was born
    B) June 9, 1994
    C) Today if you have a presentnote 
    • How does Jim spell his first name?
    A) Jmi
    B) Mij
    C) Ijmnote 
    • Can you rub your stomach and pat your head at the same time?
    A) Yes
    B) No
    C) Yes, but Simon didn't saynote 
  • The ending of the second game; And so, having defeated the nefarious COW, our hero, COW, wins back the heart of the lovely COW. In other words, Jim, the Princess and Psycrow — aka the hero, the love interest and the big bad — all turn out to be cows in disguise.

Earthworm Jim 3D

  • While a lot of the gags in 3D kinda fall flat, there's something hilarious about the first stage beginning with a voice saying "It's a barnyard out there..."

     Animated Series ~ General 
  • Basically anything the Lemony Narrator says.
  • The cow. Just, the cow.
  • Or anytime Jim goes into Large Ham mode. Which would be about 90% of the time.
    "''Eat dirt, everyone in the vicinity!! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH!!"

     Animated Series ~ Season 1 


  • ???

The Book of Doom

  • In some instances, whenever Evil dramatically says "THE BOOK!", an electric guitar plays in the background, causing Evil to angrily kick the guitarist.

  • After Peter barricades the door preventing Evil from coming into the house.

  • When Jim and Peter have an unexpected visitor.
    (Someone knocks on the door)
    Jim: (to Peter) Were you expecting an unexpected visitor?
    Peter: How can they be unexpected if I expect them?

  • This scene where Evil tries to get the titular book from Jim with his Paper-Thin Disguise.
    (Jim gets all teary-eyed)

  • As Jim and Peter encounter a black hole.
    Peter: Jim, what's that?!
    Jim: The most horrible peril in all the universe!
    Peter: A gym teacher?
    Jim: Okay, SECOND most horrible peril.

  • As Jim and Peter are being careered into a black hole. Jim tries to think with his four hyper-intelligent brains of a way to escape.
    (Jim brainstorms)
    Brain #1: I'm hungry.
    Brain #2: I'm cold.
    Brain #3: I'm itchy.
    Brain #4: Where the girls?

  • When Evil the Cat reads the page after the one with the hippo in the titular book.
    Evil: (reading) Just as the proper note can shatter a glass, so can the proper sound shatter the universe. This sound is a shriek made by the reeking beasts of Maloderin 6. Every beast must make the sound at once for it to work. The beast will only make the proper sound when they see... a fondue fork?! (talking) Of course... it's so obvious.
    • Soon after, when Jim (after losing the book) struggles to remember what was on the page after the hippo, he and Peter decide to get near a reeking beast on Maloderin 6 to jog his memory.
      Jim: It's working... (grunt) I'm remembering...
      Jim: I remember! The reeking beasts!
      Jim: THAT'S how you destroy the universe! You get all the reeking beasts to see a fondue fork! IT'S SO OBVIOUS!
  • After the reeking beasts see a fondue fork, they all admit an ear-shattering shriek, causing the universe to seemingly fall apart.
    Evil: Yes! History will remember me as the cat who destroyed the universe!
    Evil: Uhhh... except there won't be any historians.

Assault and Battery

  • At the start of a Running Gag, Jim and Peter are at the International House of Haggis; a place that no one ever goes, according to Jim.
    Peter: (eating) Hey, this haggis stuff is great! How come no one ever comes here?
    Jim: (deadpan) Because haggis is made from the heart, lungs and liver of a sheep, boiled in its own stomach.
    (Peter freezes)

  • The first cliffhanger
    Narrator: Is this the end for Peter and Jim? Will they be ground to paste? Will they be torn to bits? WILL THEIR BONES BE...?
    Peter: (interrupts) Oh, give it a rest, will ya?
    Narrator: Right. STAY TUNED!

  • While Jim uses his advanced computer...
    Narrator: The super-advanced worm-puter, miracle of modern technology, does it usual, brilliant job.
    Jim: (angrily) GAH! What do you mean "invalid parameters"?! A thousand gigs of RAM and it can't answer a simple question!

Day of the Fish

  • ???

Conquerer Worm

  • At the beginning, Jim and Peter are hanging at the Terlawk Mall with The Mighty Hamstinator. However, Hamsty can't get over his habit of stuffing random things in his cheeks, leading to this line...
    Jim: Hamsty! Get that cheese hostess out of your mouth! You don't know where she's been! Ishy! Ishy!
    • As Jim, Peter, and Snot have to retrieve the suit.
    Narrator: ...But how can our heroes ever hope to get past the sinister guards?
    (Jim, Peter, and Snot calmly stroll by)
    Peter: Evenin', guys!
    Guard 1: Evenin'. (beat) Did a giant worm, a talking dog and a smiling booger just go by?
    Guard 2: Yep.
    Guard 1: (picking up the phone) Hello, DNA lab? Whatever you guys are doin' in there, CUT IT OUT!
    • During the fight:
      Jim: I've been thinking about this whole "exact opposite" thing. Since I hate losing, you must love it! So why not give up right now?
      Evil Jim: Oh, don't be so literal-minded.
    • "Feel the awesome wrath of your own left fist!"
    • Following this, Jim draws his blaster, only for Evil Jim to effortlessly swat it out of his hand. Cue Jim's meek "Aww, man".

Upholstered Peril

  • ???

Sword of Rightousness

  • The Planet of Easily Frightened People.
    Ahhhh, a bug! Ahhhh, air!
    Ahhhh, something green! Ahhhh, something not green!

The Egg Beater

  • ???


  • The Enchanted Snail Petting Zoo.
    Jim: I think they like you, Peter.
    Jim: [laughing] Well, that just proves it.
  • Jim's fruitless attempts to eat a nut log, including boiling it in hot water, running it over with a motorcycle, shooting it repeatedly with his gun, and eventually using it to shatter an unbreakable crystal scepter.
    Peter: I don't think that's meant to be eaten, Jim. I think that's meant to anchor ships during storms.

The Great Secret of the Universe

  • ???

Bring Me the Head of Earthworm Jim

  • "Something smells like prehistoric cheese... OH MY SOD! It's ME!"
  • After replacing Jim's suit with a weak replica.
    Jim: Leaping out of the way...isn't as easy as it used to be.
    Professor Monkey-For-A-Head: That's because you now have only the strength of an ordinary person!
    (Jim tackles him)
    Professor Monkey-For-A-Head: (wincing from offscreen) ordinary...really big person...
    • Earlier, The Professor explains why he can't make a second suit:
    Professor: Monkey-For-A-Head: Well, I could, but the suit's power comes from the Battery of the Gods, and I only had one. I tried to get another, and the gods turned me into a breadmaker.
    Psy-Crow: Pfft! You're not a breadmaker!
    Professor Monkey-For-A-Head: Oh yeah? Check it out! (strains, a bell goes off and he pulls a loaf of bread from his coat) Actually, it's kinda handy. If I twist the monkey's tail, I can make pumpernickel.
    (Cut to a shot of Psy-Crow's REALLY weirded out face)

Queen What's-Her-Name

  • When Psycrow gets a job as a gym teacher and shoots at children with his laser gun.
    (children scream and run)
    Psy-Crow: (while shooting) MOVE IT! MOVE IT! Let's see some muscle, you disgusting little...!
    (The Principle walks up)
    Psy-Crow: What do you want?
    Principle: I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go! For a gym teacher, you're just a little too...
    Psy-Crow: Vicious and cruel?
    Principle: No. Too nice! You're a gym teacher for crying out loud! note 

The Anti-Fish

  • At the beginning when Bob and #4 finally find the titular monstrosity, and Bob's efforts to wake it by patting its eyelid with his fin and loudly talking to it fail.
    Bob the Killer Goldfish: Clearly a delicate touch is required...
    Bob proceeds to grab a huge Hyperspace Mallet and start whomping the Anti-Fish right in the eye.
    Bob the Killer Goldfish: Wake up ya stupid hunk of beef fat!
    Cut to #4 doing first a one-man marching band routine, and then blowing up a bundle of dynamite jammed in the Anti-Fish's mouth, all whilst Bob continues screaming "Wake up!" at the top of his lungs. After the detonation fails, leaving Bob clinging to #4's tail...
    Bob the Killer Goldfish: Hmm. What we need is a noise so horrible it could the dead! #4! Fetch... the bagpipes!
  • Professor Monkey-For-A-Head attempts to tell a version of "Little Red Riding Hood" where Jim is the wolf and he's the huntsman who comes in to save the day. Even with the Professor telling the story, Jim still ends up defeating him.
    Professor Monkey-For-A-Head: I can't even beat that worm in my imagination! We're doomed, Monkey! Horribly, horribly doomed! ...(suddenly cheerful) The end! Did you like your story?

     Animated Series ~ Season 2
"The show's budget ran out! That's the fifth time this week!"
The Origins of Peter Puppy
  • At the beginning of the episode when Jim and Peter visit the U.S. president.
    Jim: Pleased to meet you Mr... Hey, you don't look like the president!
    President: I'm one of those generic presidents they use on TV to keep shows from becoming dated.
    Jim: Oh. Well, pleased to meet you Mr "Generic" President.
  • While Jim and Peter are bored right out of their minds doing nothing while watching TV.
    TV ad: Are you broke? Out of work? Stuck in a rock? Well, that explains why you're watching mid-morning TV you lazy worthless goons! YOU MAKE ME SICK!

Opposites Attack

  • Behold!, perhaps the most random thing to ever be shown on this show!... and considering this show that's saying something.

Darwin's Nightmare

  • The beginning scene where Jim and Peter stop Bob from flooding the universe by plugging up a gaint toilet.
    Peter: We've got to do something!
    Jim: Don't worry, Fuzz-Buddy. Fixing toilets is a snap for my four hyper-intelligent brains.
    Jim's brains: In a right triangle, the square of the length of a hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the lengths of the other two sides.
    Jim: GAH! STUPID BRAINS! Don't you know anything besides the Pythagorean theorem?
    • Then...
    Peter: Jim... why don't you just jiggle the handle?
    Jim: Peter, you old kettle drum, you're a genius!
    Peter: (Confused) Kettle drum?
    • After Jim jiggles the handle to prevent the toilet from overflowing...
    Peter: What did you mean by "kettle drum"??
    Jim: Don't question me.
    • After Jim throws Bob's ship down the toilet.
    Jim: Vaya con Juevos, ya ornery varmint! Thus, Bob's evil plan is...
    Peter: (interrupts) You think I'm getting FAT, don't you?! Fat like a kettle drum!
    Jim: (angrily) Get off my back, DOG BOY!

  • While Bob invades the planet of easily-frightened people...
    Bob: Hello, I've come to conquer your planet.
    Aliens: Ah!! We Surrender!
    Bob: Woah. You guys give up quicker than France!

  • While Jim and Peter are watching TV, the plot development alarm sounds and the script for the episode gets faxed over to him.
    Jim: By the great worm spirit whose secret recipe for lobster bisque must never be revealed, Bob is taking over the galaxy again!
    Peter: What do you got there?
    Jim: Page 6 of the script, see? (reads script out loud)
    Bob: Hello, I've come to conquer your planet.
    Aliens: Ah!! We Surrender!

The Exile of Lucy

  • ???

Evil in Love

  • ???

Hyper Psy-Crow

  • The ending, when Psy-crow goes back to the coffee shop to try and regain his Caffeine Bullet Time powers.
    Psycrow: (Aside Glance) Oh well, here we go again!
    (Iris Out, then Jim intervenes out of nowhere)
    Jim: Hold it! You are NOT doing a "here we go again" ending on MY SHOW!
    Psycrow: (mockingly) Well, what kind of ending do YOU want Mr. Too-Good-For-Standard-Cheesy-Cartoon-Endings?!"
    Jim: Whaddaya think?
    Psycrow: (suddenly worried) ...The cow thing?
    Jim: Annnnd... CUE THE COW!
    (Cow falls on Psycrow, crushing him.)
    Jim: Guh-ROOVY!

Peanut of the Apes

Lounge Day's Journey Into Night

  • ???

Wizard of Ooze

  • Jim's description of Queen Slug-For-A-Butt makes fun of the fact she's a slug which is not an insect, but she rules a planet of insects, calling her an "Entomological Thingamabob".
  • All of the Lemony Narrator stuff, leaving the implication that the narrator is getting tired of his job.
    • At the beginning when Jim and Peter are trembling in fear as Queen Slug-For-A-Butt aims a giant blaster at them:
      Narrator: We join our heroes... ugh... you can see for yourselves. "Awful danger", blah blah blah.
      Jim: (snarky) Ah, narrator's too good for our predictable story structure, eh?
      Peter: Getting his self a 'tude!
      Slug-For-A-Butt: HELLO?? I'm going to destroy you here, REMEMBER?!
      Jim: Oh, sorry.
    • And:
      Narrator: We rejoin our heroes exactly where they were just a minute ago, thank you so much for paying attention.
    • And:
      Narrator: Later, on another sound stage...
    • And:
      Narrator: When we left our heroes... oh forget it, it doesn't really make much sense, anyway. I hate parodies.
    • And:
    • And:
      Narrator: Ah, just make up your own line here! It's gotta be better than what's on the script. I mean, really.
    • And:
      Narrator: Ugh... anyone mind if I skip the transition speech??
      Wicked Witch: Sure, I don't blame you. Blah, blah, blah, always the same.
      Narrator: You said it, sister.
    • And:
      Narrator: Of course, the most horrific thing about being the narrator is the degrading hula girl outfit they make me wear.
    • And:
      Narrator: All right, Mart- Marty, listen, you have to get me off this show NOW!
    • And finally:
      Jim: Narrator! We have a line here!
      Narrator: (grumpy) I'm not in the mood...
      Jim: Then perhaps you like me to unleash these VOCAL CORD-EATING INSECTS ON YA!!
      Narrator: (frightened) Ah, I'LL SAY THE LINE! I'LL SAY THE LINE! (speedily) And so, Jim turns the queen's weapon against her, thwarting evil and saving the day.
      Jim: THANK YOU.

For Whom the Jingle Bell Tolls

  • At the beginning, Jim gives Queen Slug-For-A-Butt a present.
    Queen: For me? You shouldn't have. (She opens the box which blows up) You gave me that LAST YEAR!
    • This bit:
    • When asked who kidnapped Santa, a reindeer who is totally not Rudolph describes the culprit as being a disgusting insect with a butt the size of a Macy's parade float. It turns out to be Queen Slug-for-a-butt, but Jim's first guess is Rush Limbaugh.
    • In the beginning, Princess questions who Santa Claus is and what gives him the right to judge who had been naughty or nice. At the climax we get this.
      Santa: In my wilder years I was know by another name. (voice suddenly echoes) WODEN! NORSE GOD OF JUDGEMENT! MAY THE NAUGHTY TREMBLE!
      He proceeds to lay a massive beatdown on Queen Slug-for-a-butt
      Jim: Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. And he. Kicks. Butt!

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