In the grim dark future of the 41st millennium, a guardsman writes, with just a small amount of frustration, of the many foolish deaths that have claimed others, in the hopes that future generations will avoid the same downfalls. He isn't holding his breath.
- Alcohol-Induced Idiocy - Several entries are a result of this.
- An Arm and a Leg - The narrator himself loses a foot to a Necron gauss flayer, part of his nose to a melta bomb that someone was juggling, an eye when he beat a Catachan jungle fighter at cards, and a testicle from when he insulted an Ork warboss and got kicked where it hurts the most.
- Asshole Victim - Several entries involve horrible people suffering horrible deaths.
- BFG - It's Warhammer 40K, of course there's gonna be big guns.
- Drugs Are Bad - Well, Dark Eldar drugs at least. The narrator himself is a smoker.
- Get A Hold Of Yourself Man - Painfully averted.
- Groin Attack - Pretty much implied to have happened to a guardsman when, as payback for his slain brothers-in-arms, he decided to urinate on a downed Necron whose self-repair systems soon kicked in.
- "89: Never accuse a Warboss of having no balls:...I was young. Very young. He kicked me...one of them popped. I was one of the lucky ones too."
- A guardsman tried calming down a fellow guardsman who just saw their husband get disintegrated by slapping them... got a bayonet in their balls as a result.
- Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil - The narrator DOES NOT support sexual slavery of any sort!
- Reckless Gun Usage - Just about every firearm safety rule gets broken.
- Too Dumb to Live - Pretty much 90% of the entries are because of this.
- Unfriendly Fire: Multiple rules demonstrate what happens to Commissars who get too blam-happy.