History Fanfic / AvoidingStupidDeathsInThe41stMillennium

* TakeThat: Entry 40 "Do not attempt to make an [[TheArchmage Eldar Farseer]] your sex slave" was written in response to a now deleted fic that featured exactly that, while several other subsequent entries poked fun at (and [[DeconstructedTrope Deconstructed]]) various other... ''implausible'' plot points in that author's works.

* TakeThat: Entry 40 "Do not attempt to make an [[TheArchmage Eldar Farseer]] your sex slave" was written in response to a now deleted fic that featured exactly that, while several other subsequent entries poked fun at (and [[DeconstructedTrope Deconstructed]]) various other... ''implausible'' plot points in that author's wors

* TakeThat: Entry 40 "Do not attempt to make an [[{{Seers}}Eldar Farseer]] your sex slave" was written in response to a now deleted fic that exactly that.

** Entry #142 details this. If you '''must''' do a revenge killing, don't cover it up stupidly. Several guardsmen were executed for their revenge murders because they couldn't forge suicide notes with proper spelling and good writing style, couldn't make the victim look like she fell off a cliff (due to said "cliff" being a mere 5-foot drop), or attempted assassination via grot.

* DeathBySex: Several entries state why having any form of sex with Slaaneshi cultists[[note]](or near Chaos in general - Nurgle's known to get in on this too via [=STIs=] - or with the Eldar, Dark or otherwise)[[/note]] is a bad idea. In short: This tends to be the typical result.
** One example ended up with a Guardsman having a bomb (somehow) implanted in him by the Eldar he slept with. Thankfully [[WhyAmITicking the bomb beeped loud enough]] for the author to get clear while screaming [[IWarnedYou "I told you so!"]]

** One example ended up with a Guardsman having a bomb (somehow) implanted in him they the Eldar he slept with. Thankfully [[WhyAmITicking the bomb beeped loud enough]] for the author to get clear while screaming [[IWarnedYou "I told you so!"]]
* DeathSeeker: The Death Korps of Krieg are repeatedly cited as examples of this by the narrator. They're known for marching fearlessly into battle, heedless of their own survival, (brainwashed into) seeking to "atone" for past rebellion and "heresy".

** Cain described himself as a coward, but that's only within his private memoirs. His actions can be summed up as "do the most supposedly suicidal thing that gives you a good chance to survive, not the conventional run-away tactic which gets you shot in the back."

* GeneralFailure: The narrator is firmly of the opinion [[WeHaveReserves Chenkov]] is this, calling him out by name multiple times and lamenting being unable to write his entry due to his continued survival, and calls out several more over the course of his list.

** 156: An aircraft's ordinance is also generally more effective than said aircraft's use as a battering ram, especially when it's fully loaded - and even more so if you ''can't even get it on target''.

* IJustShotMarvinInTheFace: Never spin loaded guns around your fingers. One guardsman and his girlfriend die because the former spun their pistols round his fingers by the pistols' trigger guards. Not surprisingly,

* MamaBear: The Chaos Lord, to the narrator's horror.

* RecklessGunUsage: Just about every firearm safety rule gets broken.
* RedshirtArmy: The Imperial Guard often falls into this trope, much to the narrator's annoyance, but he also provides an unintentional example with his wife. Originally, his wife was part of an elite force put together by the Iron Hands with extensive augmentation meant to enhanced their combat abilities. But these forces all had zero combat experience, meaning they still suffered heavy casualties when they were first deployed. The narrator gripes about how it would've been more effective to give said augmentations to more seasoned veterans of the guard.
* SelfMadeOrphan: The protagonist and his sister, thanks to a Molotov cocktail his sister made. He's still of the opinion that their father had it coming.

* SexSlave: The protagonist explicitly isn't a fan of them, and includes multiple entries threatening those who would attempt to take such "prisoners".
* ShootTheShaggyDog: Yep, these entries definitely appear. In Entry 420, an InUniverse CreatorBreakdown leads to an entry about how the entire 40k galaxy is this. Thankfully, in-universe, that entry is redacted before it can be published and lead to suicide pacts if not mass suicides, and the protagonist's earlier and later experiences arguably disprove it, or at least provide counter-arguments.

* TooKinkyToTorture: Slannesh cultists. It's pointed out how trying to get violent revenge on them is both an exercise in futility, on top of being quite dangerous as the cultists can still cause harm.

* UnfriendlyFire: Multiple rules demonstrate what happens to Commissars who get too trigger-happy about executing their own troops. Or commanders who like to lean too hard into WeHaveReserves. Oh, and if a guardsman mutinies by holding you at gunpoint, DO NOT INSULT HIM OR THREATEN HIS FAMILY, because this will make him resort to covering up the murder after he's done shooting you.

* LastWords: Defied by the narrator refusing to allow this in Entry 304, then further deconstructed when another enemy in another location uses it as HoldingTheFloor to set off a powerful explosive charge and inflict seventeen casualties.

* UnfriendlyFire: Multiple rules demonstrate what happens to Commissars who get too blam-happy. Or commanders who like to lean too hard into WeHaveReserves.

* AnArmAndALeg: The narrator himself loses a foot to a Necron gauss flayer, part of his nose to a melta bomb that someone was juggling, an eye when he beat a Catachan jungle fighter at cards, and a testicle from when he insulted an Ork warboss and got kicked where it hurts the most.