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This thread is for tropers who have trouble with English and would like some help with the crazy grammar of this crazy language.

Write down what you wish to edit on the wiki. If you have been suspended from editing, another troper might be kind enough to edit for you after your suggestions have been corrected.

The thread is for help and feedback on your own suggested edits.

If you want help correcting other people's edits (e.g., if you find a page which seems to have grammar problems but want a second opinion, or you don't feel able to fix it by yourself) then that's off-topic here, but we have a separate Grammar Police cleanup thread that can provide assistance.

Edited by Mrph1 on Nov 16th 2023 at 5:37:57 PM

Kakai from somewhere in Europe Since: Aug, 2013
#1801: Dec 27th 2014 at 6:32:27 AM

Hi, jormis.

  • The phrase "one of the inmates is wearing a paper hat with his hand in his jacket..." is kind of unclear. Try "one of the inmates is wearing a paper hat and stands with his hand..." or "and has his hand..."
  • I think it can be simply "across the lawn" instead of "out across the lawn". Also, if the woman with a tape was the same one that was dragged by her hair, you should probably cut the word "other", because it indicates there's a third woman present. The phrase "HostageVideo of the other woman" can be replaced as "HostageVideo of her". The last "other woman" can be simply "woman" as well.
  • Not "atop of a robot suit", but simply "atop a robot suit".
  • "could not solve and that continues to haunt them", because first you were talking about the policemen, and then about a case. I think it should be "the identity". And if the killings had stopped by the time of the series, then the last sentence should be all in past tense. If they hadn't, then it should be "...and his Chicago partner can't solve...".

Rejoice!
jormis29 Since: Mar, 2012
#1802: Dec 28th 2014 at 12:18:47 AM




Window Pain

  • ''Series/TheDrewCareyShow'': Some angry employees throw a ''{{ComicStrip/Dilbert}}'' doll through Drew''s window in the "Drew and the Singles Union" episode.
    —>'''Kate''': (''reads attached note'') Next time, it's life size!

Insult Comic

  • ''{{Series/CSI}}'': The VictimOfTheWeek of the "Last Laugh" episode was a reviled insult comic played by the RealLife comedian, Jeffrey Ross. [[spoiler: The killer turns out to be a rival comedian who hated his brand of gutter comedy.]]

Flare Gun

  • ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS9E7RoadToTheNorthPole Road to the North Pole]]": While hitchhiking on a truck, Stewie finds a flare gun and fiddles with it despite the driver warning him not to. Guess what happens. The flare then bounces around the cabin then sets fire to trailer and the truck smashes through dozens of cars into a snow bank. After all this, Stewie walks out of the destruction like it was nothing.

Five-Finger Fillet

  • ''{{Series/Alphas}}'' "Falling": When Kat meets a guy who knew her before her memory loss, he tells her that they met when she was "hustling money doing that knife trick from ''{{Film/Aliens}}''" and shows her how she did it. At the end of the episode, Bill finds Kat doing it by herself while brooding over the events of the episode.

Working on cleaning up List of Shows That Need Summary
Kakai from somewhere in Europe Since: Aug, 2013
#1803: Dec 28th 2014 at 3:53:33 AM

Hello,

  • Sorry, nitpicking again. There should be only on ' in Drew"s. Apart from that, all right here.
  • I think in spoiler it should be "rival comedian who hated Ross' character's brand", because otherwise it seems that the rival hated his own brand of comedy.
  • "the flare bounces around the cabin , sets fire to trailer and then the truck...". Note the comma.
  • All fine here.

Rejoice!
SeptimusHeap from Switzerland (Edited uphill both ways) Relationship Status: Mu
#1804: Dec 28th 2014 at 3:56:07 AM

^Actually, it should be "the flare bounces around the cabin, sets the trailer on fire and then the truck". You are omitting articles, like "in spoiler" which should be "in the spoiler".

"For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled." - Richard Feynman
rzorrz Since: Aug, 2013
#1805: Dec 28th 2014 at 7:23:56 AM

All praise the Lord, Septimus returned to this thread. Guess I finally got my Christmas present.

MrL1193 Since: Apr, 2013
#1806: Dec 28th 2014 at 1:28:08 PM

Actually, my assessment is that all three of you are wrong about the flare and truck. Septimus was the closest to being right, but there's still the problem of faulty parallelism. When you say, "The flare bounces around the cabin, sets the trailer on fire, and then," you are setting up the expectation that the last item in the list of three will also be an action performed by the flare. However, the last action (smashing through dozens of cars into a snow bank) is actually performed by the truck, not the flare. Therefore, you shouldn't be using commas to group them into a list.

I would suggest that you instead try one of these:

The flare bounces around the cabin, setting the trailer on fire, and then the truck smashes through dozens of cars into a snow bank.

The flare bounces around the cabin and sets the trailer on fire, and then the truck smashes through dozens of cars into a snow bank.

jormis29 Since: Mar, 2012
#1807: Dec 28th 2014 at 11:48:22 PM




Alternate History

  • ''ComicBook/BakerStreet'' is set in a world where UsefulNotes/FirstWorldWar wasn't as devastating and the other European powers pressure Hitler into not starting {{UsefulNotes/WWII}}. Without the war, Victorian society continued well into the eighties and mix with {{UsefulNotes/Punk}} culture.

Jail Bake

  • ''Series/GetSmart'': 99 bakes dentist tools that into a cake in the "The Whole Tooth and..." episode that Max needs to retrieve nuclear power plant plans hidden in the tooth cap of a prisoner.
    —>'''Max''': You baked dental instruments into the cake? That's a fantastic idea, 99. Where did you get it?
    '''99''': It's not so fantastic, Max. It's an old trick, really. People have been baking things into cakes for years.
    '''Max''': You know, a horrible thought just struck me, 99.
    '''99''': What?
    '''Max''': What if somebody thought of baking a file into a cake? Why, it could disrupt our whole prison system!

SOE

  • ''Series/FoylesWar'': The BodyOfTheWeek of the "The French Drop" episode was an SOE agent that committed suicide using a grenade. Foyle is not convinced and starts investigating a SOE station at Lavenham. [[spoiler: Foyle figures out that the body is not the SOE agent, but a body of a local villager exhumed from the local churchyard. The real SOE agent had been killed in an operation in France after stepping on landmine due to outdated intelligence. The SOE tried to cover up the agent’s death by faking his suicide to stop the agent's father, a high ranking member of MI5, making trouble for the SOE.]]

Hairpin Lockpick

  • ''{{Series/Castle}}'' "Target": Sara and [[spoiler: Alexis]] escape the room that they are being held in by picking the lock with their hairpins. [[spoiler: Richard taught Alexis how while [[ItsForABook researching it for one of his books]] but that was when she was ten.]] Some of the dialogue suggests they went through a few pins while trying.

edited 29th Dec '14 3:14:59 AM by jormis29

Working on cleaning up List of Shows That Need Summary
demarquis Who Am I? from Hell, USA Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
Who Am I?
#1808: Dec 29th 2014 at 6:07:28 PM

@Mr. L: Shouldnt those sentences use semi-colons? As in: "The flare bounces around the cabin, setting the trailer on fire; then the truck smashes through dozens of cars into a snow bank."

"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
MrL1193 Since: Apr, 2013
#1809: Dec 29th 2014 at 7:58:06 PM

[up] You can use a semicolon if you prefer, but a comma followed by a coordinating junction (in this case, "and") also works. Just don't try to join two independent clauses using nothing but a comma (or, for that matter, a comma followed by "then").

rzorrz Since: Aug, 2013
#1810: Dec 31st 2014 at 4:17:08 AM

Ok, since the thread seems to moving forward regardless of anything... As previously, aside from checking for errors, I would be really glad if someone could post this in my name for the purpose of tax evasion and getting my ban removed.

Interstellar:

  • Cosy Catastrophe: Viewers are constantly informed that all the resources are depleted and there is barely anything left to eat for many years... and somehow the effects of this global collapse of civilisation are barely there. Goes to really ridiculous level after the first time skip takes place.

Jack Reacher:

  • The Drifter: Jack even self-identifies himself as one. He is Walking the Earth, with no personal possesions or real interest with anyone or anything, but he also has almost compulsive tendency toward digging out the truth, regardless how much work and beating it will take.
  • For Want Of A Nail: If Jack wasn't set up for a bar fight invented by low-ranking mook he would never went into the great length of searching who set him up and thus connecting all the threads.

Jack Reacher:

—>Gunny: Well, you can always start running.

edited 31st Dec '14 8:18:11 AM by rzorrz

lexicon Since: May, 2012
#1811: Dec 31st 2014 at 8:06:45 AM

You need to say more than "The Drifter: Jack even self-identifies himself as one." You also need to explain Actor Allusion.

Ciabella Since: Jan, 2011
#1812: Jan 2nd 2015 at 7:40:56 AM

Could someone help me with this???


Receiver Of Many is a story by KataChthonia based on Classical Mythology, focusing on the first days of Hades’ and Persephone’s marriage.

During the war with the Titans, Zeus and Demeter promise their yet unborn daughter Persephone to their brother Hades as his future wife. However, after the conflict ends and the lots are divided, Demeter, abandoned by Zeus in favor of Hera, decides that she could never let Persephone be hurt the same way she was. She vows to never let any man, especially Hades, have her daughter.

Many thousands years pass. Persephone lives in Eleusis as Kore, maiden goddess of flowers, under the watchful eye of her mother. Her life is simple and uneventful, at least until the day that Hades finally decides to claim her as his bride. This sets in motion a chain of events that will shake the balance of power among the gods, shifting it forever.

The story can be read here.

Other works in the same universe:

  • A Box of Beauty: Psyche comes to Persephone to fulfill the last task set before her by Aphrodite
  • The Last Seed: Ares meets Aphrodite for the first time. Steamy sex on the beach ensues.
  • A First Press of Olives: Hades and Persephone take a day off of judging shades. Steamy sex ensues.

Receiver of Many provides examples of

  • Above the Influence: When Persephone runs into Lethe she loses her memories from the previous day. This means that she does not remember how Hades abducted her and is still very much the girl eagerly awaiting her mysterious suitor she was right before the kidnapping. When she wakes up to Hades she is very happy and very willing to have sex with him right then and there. Despite being tempted to go through with this Hades rebuffs her advances and gives her water from pool of Mnemosyne, which restores her painful memories. When Persephone accuses him of pricking her with golden arrow to make her fall in love with him, Hades thinks that, thanks to this incident, she should have already understood that he would never use trickery to have her.
  • Adult Fear: Having your only child taken away to never see them again.
  • All Are Equal in Death: This is how the Underworld is supposed to work. Material wealth and power mean nothing and all are judged and assigned place in the afterlife based only on their good and evil deeds.
  • Am I Just a Toy to You??: During their first quarrel Persephone accuses Hades of taking her not out of love, but because he sees her as an object – either as a property that is due to him because of the pact her parents made with him or a sex toy to warm his bed.
  • A Real Man Is a Killer: Ares plays this trope straight. Hades who fought in the war against the Titans doesn’t see anything glorious in killing.
  • Armor-Piercing Question: After his quarrel with Persephone Hades announces to Nyx and Hecate that he is sending Persephone back to Demeter, since he no longer believes their relationship could ever work out and thinks she will be happier in the world above. Nyx asks him if he would really be ok with Persephone going on with her life without him, potentially taking a lover. Hades’ own angry reaction at the prospect of his wife in another man’s arms shows him that he still isn’t able to let go of his love for her, no matter what he may be saying.
  • Arranged Marriage:
    • Persephone’s and Hades’ marriage was arranged as a part of peace agreement between Hades and Zeus, when Persephone was still in Demeter’s womb. Despite a rocky start they end up as in a much happier and healthier relationship than many other divine marriages.
    • Hephaestus and Aphrodite. Because of how powerful Aphrodite is, she was married off to one man who couldn’t challenge Zeus’ rule. In contrast to Hades and Persephone, they are both unhappy with this union. Faithfulness is not in Aphrodite’s nature and she doesn’t feel much for Hephaestus, so she is having affairs left and right. Hephaestus himself is very much aware of this trait of his wife as well as the fact why he was chosen to be her mate, which he find to be more insulting than affairs she is having or her bastard children.
  • Attempted Rape: Rare female-on-male example. Minthe tries to force herself on Hades in order to frame him in Persephone’s eyes as unfaithful. She poisons his nectar with ergot, which makes him unable to fight back and uses the golden arrow she stole to force his body to react with arousal against his will. Happily for Hades Persephone gets there in time to save him.
  • Barred from the Afterlife: These who don’t have a coin to pay for transport to the Other Side remain stranded on the banks of the river forever.
  • Because Destiny Says So: This being story based on Classical Mythology means that all events happening are actually governed by the will of Fate. Persephone herself was fated to become the Queen of the Underworld even before she was born. Hades drew the shortest straw, giving him the Underworld as his domain, specifically because he and Persephone were betrothed.
  • Belligerent Sexual Tension:
    • Hades and Persephone have sex right after their first quarrel, when the anger and desire get mixed together. It doesn’t end well and they both regret it afterwards.
    • Thanatos discusses this trope, when he points out that there is still tension between him and Hecate and that they could relieve it in some way other than arguing. He does it mainly to annoy her further and Hecate knows it.
  • Best Her to Bed Her: Suggested to be the case with Kyrene. She spends a lot of time looking around for someone, who could best her. She apparently succeeds when she meets Apollo, since the next time she shows up she is already pregnant with his child.
  • Beyond the Impossible: It’s believed to be impossible for anything truly alive to grow in the Underworld. However, Hades and Persephone through their love and shared dreams manage to awaken the pomegranate seeds lying dormant since the beginning of time. The trees that spring forth are truly alive, unlike Asphodel that grows in the Fields and in palace’s gardens. Later, during their hieros gamos they also create Elysion.
  • Bodyguard Betrayal: Demeter asks Athena and Artemis to protect Persephone from Hades. However, Zeus orders his daughters to back off and let Hades take Persephone.
  • Calling the Old Man Out: After hearing Demeter call Hades a rapist one time too many, Persephone finally calls her mother out on the fact that her plan to transform her permanently into a tree was what forced Hades to abduct her hastily from Nysa. She reminds her mother that she tried to keep her ignorant of her divine destiny and in the effort to control her life she isolated her and banished all her friends.
  • Coming of Age Story: Big part of the story is how Persephone changes from a sheltered, young girl into a powerful Queen of the Underworld and how she learns to built more mature and healthier relationships with people around her – especially Hades and Demeter.
  • Complete Immortality: Gods and Titans are truly immortal – they do not age and cannot be killed. Even decapitating them will not end their life. That’s why Titans have to be kept in Tartarus. Mortals and nymphs (who are only ageless not deathless) can be made fully immortal with proper rituals.
  • "Could Have Avoided This!" Plot: At the end Hades and Demeter conclude that the whole mess could have been avoided if Hades went to Demeter instead of Zeus (who never really took part in rising Persephone) and explained that marriage to him wouldn’t cut Persephone from Demeter (as she had assumed) and if Demeter had been a little less headstrong.
  • Darkest Hour: For Hades and Persephone the moment when it’s already decided that Persephone will return to the surface, but before she has the idea to eat the seeds. They both think that situation is hopeless and try to make the best of this last – as they presume – night together.
  • Death Amnesia: The dead don’t automatically forget everything after they die, but after they drink from Lethe.
  • Death Takes a Holiday: When Thanatos is captured by Sisyphus nothing in the world can die.
  • Decadent Court: On Olympus gods pass their time eating, drinking, having sex, gossiping and playing power games. That’s one of the reasons both Demeter and Hades shun Olympus. When Persephone visits court of the gods for the first time as the Queen of the Underworld she finds the place off-putting as well. She especially doesn’t like how other gods openly gossip about her and her husband.
  • Deliberate Values Dissonance: Since the story is set in Greek Bronze Age values expressed by many characters are different from the ones modern audience will probably hold. Women in the world above are treated as second-class citizens, both among the mortals and among the gods. They have no say in who they will marry and are given away by their fathers or other male relatives. They may be also carried away and forcefully married. Wives are expected to sever most ties with their formal lives. Husband holds power over his wife and can demand whatever he wants from her (including sex, even if she doesn’t want it) and punish her as he sees fit if she misbehaves. This can be seen well in way Zeus nonchalantly gives Persephone away without caring much for Demeter’s permission. Demeter naturally assumes that the marriage to Hades means that Persephone will never see her again. Persephone herself carries a lot of such believes as a baggage into that marriage and has to take a lot of time to unlearn it.
  • Ditch the Bodyguards: Persephone sneaks away from Artemis and Athena to investigate if she really heard the voice of the strange man from her dream (unknowingly to her at this time – Hades) from a sacred grove. What she doesn’t know is that Artemis and Athena are aware of this, but were ordered by Zeus not to interfere.
  • Earn Your Happy Ending: Hades and Persephone. After many disagreements and obsoletes, they finally reconcile and find a way to be together for at least part of each year.
  • Easy Road to Hell: Subverted. Mortals are sure that the slightest offence will get them thrown into Tartarus. In reality only these who unapologetically committed serious crimes like murder or rape are sent there.
  • Erotic Dream: Hades unintentionally appears in Persephone’s dream naked and embracing her, a result of both his and hers subconscious desires.
  • Extra-Dimensional Shortcut: How travelling through ether works.
  • Fisher Kingdom: After some time spent in the underworld Persephone notices that her hair got darker and her breasts and hips fuller, and she starts looking a little older than she did before. Hecate confirms that it’s the Underworld changing her “into the goddess she was born to be”.
  • Florence Nightingale Effect: Demeter saves Triptolemus from death and nurses him back to health. While he is already devoted to her as the Great Lady of Harvest, it’s also obvious that her saving him plays a big part in his feelings for her.
  • Food Chains: Like in the original myth eating the food of the dead binds one permanently to the Underworld. But how long someone may be forced to spend there each year appears to depend on the amount of food eaten. It's suggested that Persephone's six seeds aren't enough to keep her in the Underworld for six whole months, even if the Pomegranate Agreement states that she shall spent half a year with her husband underground and half a year with Demeter on the surface.
  • Forced to Watch: In the nightmarish illusion weaved by Cronus for Persephone this happens in two ways: illusionary Hades is forced to watch how Cronus rapes his wife and real Persephone herself is forced to see this scene play before her eyes.
  • Foregone Conclusion: Anyone who knows the original myth knows that at some point Persephone will eat the pomegranate seeds and bind herself to the Underworld.
  • Foreshadowing: After Hades and Persephone make love during the Midsummer all pomegranate trees in Eleusis loss their flowers and form fruit. Persephone thinks this is a good omen that she had conceived a child with her husband. She is wrong. It’s actually hinting at her and Hades’ role in restoring earth’s fertility.
  • Frame-Up: When he stole her immortality, Sisyphus put glamour on Merope to make her look like him. Because of this, in the Underworld she was judged as if she was Sisyphus and put in Tartarus.
  • Ghost Shipping: Thanatos and Merope, since she is already dead. Also any dead woman Thanatos has sex with.
  • Girl of My Dreams: Invoked by Hades, who visits Persephone, for the first time, in a dream to introduce himself as her future husband. However, due to both of them having newly awakened subconscious desires, dream turns out much more erotic than he has previously intended.
  • Healing Factor: Godly bodies heal momentarily whenever they are injured and scars on a god are almost unheard of. However, if a god is weakened for some reason or wounds are very severe they will heal more slowly and leave scars.
  • Heir Club for Men: Ares is theoretically the heir to the heavens on the virtue of being Zeus’ only legitimate son. After Persephone sets the Pomegranate Agreement, impressed Zeus tells her that he would like to have her as his heir instead, if only she was male.
  • Hope Spot: The Pomegranate Agreement from Demeter’s perspective. After a long fight she is about to finally get her daughter back only for her to heart that Persephone has eaten pomegranate seeds and thus bound herself to the Underworld for all eternity.
  • Hot God: Pretty much all of them, seems to come with being a god.
  • Invisible Streaker: Anyone who wears Hades’ Helm of Darkness becomes invisible along with anything they are carrying or touching. However, things remain invisible only as long as they are in contact with the wearer. For example: if one removes their clothing it will suddenly appear out of thin air.
  • Law of Inverse Fertility: Demeter states that divine offspring are usually conceived during the first time god or goddess have sex with someone. This explains why Zeus has so many bastards running around despite the fact that he rarely beds the same women twice. However, Persephone who actively wants to have children with her husband cannot conceive despite her best efforts. Everyone thinks that’s because Hades is infertile. The truth is that Hades and Persephone can create life together, but it doesn’t take a form of a child but energy that renews earth each time Persephone comes back to the surface.
  • Long-Distance Relationship: Due to the Pomegranate Agreement Persephone is supposed to spend half a year with her husband in the Underworld and half a year with her mother on the surface. This means - at least - in theory six months of separation for Hades and Persephone.
  • Love Potion: Golden arrows shot by Eros are very potent in igniting love and desire. Even being close to one can make someone aroused against their will. Being scratched by the arrow causes Hades to obsess over Persephone. If it has actually reached its target – his heart – he would probably be driven mad with need and snatch her away and had sex with her the moment he found her.
  • Magically-Binding Contract: Gods swearing on Styx cannot break their word. Even Zeus is not able to get around this.
  • Making Love in All the Wrong Places:
    • Hades and Persephone have sex for the first time in Hades' speeding chariot.
    • Eris and Thanatos have sex on a battlefield.
  • Marital Rape License: The way of the world above is that husband can demand sex from his wife and she cannot refuse him. Persephone brings this belief with her as a baggage into her marriage with Hades. When he leads her to his chambers, she immediately assumes he is going to demand sex from her. Hades has to make a lot of effort to reassure her that he would never touch her against her will.
  • Master-Apprentice Chain: Nyx was mentor to Hecate, who in turn was mentor to Demeter and Hades.
  • Metamorphosis: Desperate Demeter decides to change Persephone permanently into a tree. It’s stated that for this process to work target needs to be a virgin. Because of her actions Hades is forced to spirit Persephone away in haste.
  • Mundane Afterlife: Dead who are not sent to Tartarus end up in the Asphodel Fields, no matter how many good deeds they performed during their lifetime. They wander through them until they are reborn again. Subverted when Hades’ and Persephone’s hieros gamos creates Elysion. They agree that from this point on it will be a place for these who lived truly good, heroic lives.
  • No Man of Woman Born: Demeter swears by Styx that no Olympian will have her daughter. What she forgets is that Hades, against whom she intends to protect Persephone, the most is no longer an Olympian.
  • Outliving One's Offspring: Celeus and Metaneira lost all their daughters and would have lost both of their sons as well if it wasn't for Demeter's help. One of said daughter was only two weeks from her wedding.
  • Prison Dimension: Tartarus is a section of the Underworld that serves specifically to imprison enemies of the Olympians and these mortals who have committed hideous crimes. The whole Underworld became this when Cronus imprisoned the entire house of Nyx there.
  • Reincarnation Romance: Hades tries to invoke this for Demeter and Iasion by giving Iasion water from the pool of Mnemosyne before his rebirth, thus giving him a chance to regain some of his memories from the previous life. It doesn’t work and he does not try again. Many centuries later Demeter meets Iasion reborn as the Eleusian prince Triptolemus.
  • Reincarnation: Souls don’t stay in the Underworld forever. They can drink from Lethe to forget their time there and be reborn again in our world. Until Persephone spreads this information among her follower mortals simply assume that death is a permanent end.
  • Relationship Sabotage:
    • It’s suggested that Zeus tries to do this by introducing Persephone to Apollo during her visit to Olympus. Engaging in an affair with Apollo would probably keep Persephone above the ground for longer periods of time, which in turn would mean shorter winters. It doesn’t work because Persephone loves her husband very much and because Apollo is a jerkass.
    • Demeter tries to break up Persephone’s and Hades’ marriage, believing he will hurt her in the future anyway. She sends Minthe to seduce Hades. It not only doesn’t work, but backfires and ends up with Minthe dead at Persephone’s hand and Demeter almost losing her daughter for good this time.
  • Rescue Romance: Demeter falls in love with Zeus when he frees her and the rest of their siblings from Cronus. His face is the first she sees after many years in darkness.
  • Right in Front of Me: Celeus and Metaneira don’t realize they are talking about the Great Lady of Harvest just in front of her, instead taking her for an elderly priestess Doso.
  • Ring of Power: The Key of Hades manifests as several rings. They let Hades hear the souls in his kingdom, travel between the worlds and seal his realm. When he takes them off he stops hearing the dead. However, the power of the Key cannot simply be transferred by giving the rings to someone else.
  • Ruling Couple: Hades and Persephone rule over the Underworld jointly and share power equally. This is a big surprise for most gods of the world above, who expect Persephone to be nothing more than a Hot Consort. In the upper world it’s not usual for a king to share power equally with his queen, that’s how things look between Zeus and Hera.
  • Scary Teeth: The Erynies have very pointy, sharp fangs.
  • Seduction-Proof Marriage: Apollo tries to seduce Persephone, when she visits Olympus. It doesn’t work because Persephone loves her husband very much and has no intentions of cheating on him even if they don’t see each other for six months.
  • Shoot the Messenger: When Hermes brings a decree that annuls Hades’ and Persephone’s marriage, Hades’ first reaction is to try to furiously strangle him.
  • Teleporters and Transporters: Most gods can travel through ether to quickly move from one place to another. However, for each god this process looks differently. For example: Hades travels through black smoke, because of his role as the King of the Underworld. Persephone, on the other hand, opens a portal framed by the flaming river Phlegethon, showing the connection of her powers to Tartarus.
  • That Was Not a Dream: When Persephone first wakes up after being carried away by Hades, she is sure that she has fallen asleep in Nysa and the whole abduction was just a dream. However, she quickly realizes that she is really somewhere else and that events of the previous day were real.
  • The Dark Arts: The book of Tantalus that contains knowledge forbidden for humans, like the secret of immortality.
  • The Legions of Hell: The Keres fulfill this to some extent. They are not evil, but they are a horde of terrifying monsters even Hades is wary of.
  • The Old Gods: The oldest generation of the gods born from Chaos are called Protogenoi.
  • The Talk: Persephone was given not very informative by a nymph, when one of her companions comes back pregnant with Apollo’s child. She tries to ask Demeter for more details, but she only gets to hear that the act of sex is very painful and bloody.
  • Their First Time: Hades and Persephone have sex for the first time in a chariot right after Hades carries Persephone away from Nysa. This strange time and place is justified, since the immediate consumption of their marriage is needed to protect Persephone from any attempts from Demeter to permanently transform her into a tree.
  • This Means War!: Hades tells Hermes that the scroll with Zeus orders he brought is more or less a declaration of war, since it’s a breach of their original peaceful terms.
  • Training from Hell: Prometheus training Hades.
  • Unequal Pairing: Demeter and Triptolemus. While they are both immortal, Demeter is the powerful goddess of harvest and bounty, when Triptolemus is a little more than an immortalized human. She is also thousands of years older than he is.
  • Void Between the Worlds: Ether appears to be a space between different worlds and places.
  • Volleying Insults: Hades’ and Demeter’s argument over the Pomegranate Agreement finally deteriorates into simply throwing insults at each other.
  • War Is Hell: Having to live through Titanomachy was a very hard experience for all involved. It was bloodied fight for survival, not a glorious combat.
  • What Does She See in Him??: Apollo (and at least some other Olympians we can presume) has this stance on Persephone’s insistence to remain faithful to her husband. He sees him as a cold and unresponsive god, no much better from a corpse, who probably cannot give his wife not only love but even “real pleasure”.
  • Women's Mysteries: The knowledge of ancient, sacred rituals like hieros gamos is almost always passed from woman to woman. Nyx taught Hecate and Hecate passed this on first on Demeter and later on the Lampades. However, there can be expectation from this rule.
  • Your Worst Nightmare: Part of the illusion Cronus shows Persephone. She is presented with a vision of herself getting raped by Cronus and her husband chained to the rock, Forced To Watch this play before his eyes and having his insides eaten out by eagle, screaming her name in anguish.

edited 4th Jan '15 10:05:23 AM by Ciabella

Kakai from somewhere in Europe Since: Aug, 2013
#1813: Jan 3rd 2015 at 4:54:48 AM

Hey, so nice to have more people who'd fix mistakes I've made while fixing mistakes other people made grin

Hello, Ciabella. Do you mind if I check it by parts?

  • In description, instead of "lots are divided", I think it should be either "loot is divided" or "gods are divided", depending on what you mean. Also, "never let Persephone be hurt" and "never let any man, especially Hades...", without "not" and "to fulfill the last task set her...", without "before".
  • In Above the Influence: "she should have already understood. I think this sentence would sound better as "Hades thinks that, thanks to this incident, she should have already understood that he would never use trickery to have her."
  • In Adult Fear: "your only child taken away", without "by".
  • In A Real Man Is a Killer: "doesn’t see anything"

I'll check the rest later.

Rejoice!
rzorrz Since: Aug, 2013
#1814: Jan 3rd 2015 at 5:40:59 AM

[up][up] And I was the bad guy when posting same amounts of tropes in single post

Bisected8 Tief girl with eartude from Her Hackette Cave (Primordial Chaos) Relationship Status: Arm chopping is not a love language!
Tief girl with eartude
#1815: Jan 3rd 2015 at 5:52:28 AM

[up][up]"Lots" can be used to mean something along the lines of "assets", although it's normally only used in the context of auctions it's not that out of place here. The "not" is also acceptable (the sentence is grammatically correct and has the same meaning either way). "The task set before her" is also correct ("set before x" can be used to mean "made the responsibility of x"). Your correction of "be" is right.

Other than that, the only error I can really see in just the description is:

->Many thousands years pass.

Which should be:

->Many thousands of years pass.

For the record, this might be better going through YKTTW (Works Pages Are A Free Launch, but you can still use it if you want your draft proof read or to help gather tropes).

TV Tropes's No. 1 bread themed lesbian. she/her, fae/faer
Ciabella Since: Jan, 2011
#1816: Jan 3rd 2015 at 6:56:13 AM

[up][up][up] Of course I have nothing against this. I'm the one causing trouble here. Sorry. [up]Yes. The "lots are divided" is used in the context of Zeus, Poseidon and Hades dividing between themselves the cosmos as spoils of war. It was used several times in the story itself as well. If it needs to be changed, I will do it.

I didn't know that I could go through YKTTW. However, since it's already partly checked here, if you guys have nothing against it, I'll leave it on this forum and simply use YKTTW for any future pages I may work on. There also one more problem... I also have a character sheet for this work that may need checking. I'm not sure how this would work on YKTTW, possibly posting these two separately.

Once again. I'm very sorry for giving you so much work and apprecieate any help you give.

edited 3rd Jan '15 6:58:20 AM by Ciabella

Kakai from somewhere in Europe Since: Aug, 2013
#1817: Jan 3rd 2015 at 11:13:36 AM

[up][up] Thanks for double-checking me, Bisected 8. Didn't know that one.

Okay, moving on with the tropes:

I'll get back to the rest later. Sorry if I was nitpicking.

edited 3rd Jan '15 11:16:21 AM by Kakai

Rejoice!
fruitstripegum Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: Singularity
#1818: Jan 3rd 2015 at 11:42:29 AM

Which of these is the correct usage of semicolons?

He had always made it a personal rule to try to be at least five minutes early for any and all appointments; be they dentist, doctor, or even something as mundane as the opening of a new kebab shop in town.

Or

He had always made it a personal rule to try to be at least five minutes early for any and all appointments, be they dentist; doctor; or even something as mundane as the opening of a new kebab shop in town.

edited 3rd Jan '15 11:50:19 AM by fruitstripegum

Bisected8 Tief girl with eartude from Her Hackette Cave (Primordial Chaos) Relationship Status: Arm chopping is not a love language!
Tief girl with eartude
#1819: Jan 3rd 2015 at 12:43:03 PM

A grammar expert might want to correct me, but I think both are technically correct (technically you use a full colon to begin a list, but the semi-colon can be interpreted as connecting the "be they" clause to the rest of the sentence), but the second one isn't quite right.

You can technically use a semi-colon in a list like this:

  • We need; salt; pepper; vinegar; mustard; mayonnaise; ketchup.

But there's no point in using one when you can a comma (unless you're doing something like inputting data into a computer):

  • We need salt, pepper, vinegar, mustard, mayonnaise, and ketchup.

You'd use a semi colon when you have more than one set of things separated by commas. For example:

  • We need salt, pepper and vinegar; mustard, mayonnaise and ketchup

Think of semi-colons as heavy commas; in that they do the same thing, but more so, and thus should only be used when they're needed.

Guide to how to use semi-colons.

edited 3rd Jan '15 1:55:39 PM by Bisected8

TV Tropes's No. 1 bread themed lesbian. she/her, fae/faer
Ciabella Since: Jan, 2011
#1820: Jan 3rd 2015 at 1:32:36 PM

[up][up][up] Not at all. It's better if all mistakes, even small ones are corrected. Thank you once again.

MrL1193 Since: Apr, 2013
#1821: Jan 3rd 2015 at 2:45:10 PM

[up][up][up] I wouldn't use a semicolon in either of those sentences. The part of the sentence starting with "be they" is merely modifying the noun "appointments"; it is not an independent clause (that is, it wouldn't be a proper sentence on its own). This is easier to see if you strip away the list.

be they dentist

be they something as mundane as the opening of a new kebab shop in town.

Thus, we don't need a semicolon; a comma will suffice.

He had always made it a personal rule to try to be at least five minutes early for any and all appointments, be they dentist, doctor, or even something as mundane as the opening of a new kebab shop in town.

As for using semicolons in lists, the usual rule is that you use semicolons if the listed items themselves contain commas. In the example you gave, the last item is lengthy, but it does not contain commas and is not positioned in a way that would encourage misreading. Again, there is no need for semicolons.

jormis29 Since: Mar, 2012
#1822: Jan 3rd 2015 at 3:55:45 PM




Global Warming

  • ''Series/TheAlmightyJohnsons'' In "The Asparagus is Kicking In" episode, Axel learns that [[NorseMythology Jormungand]] really is starting to stir and if Jormungand [[{{Ouroboros}} lets go of his tail]], the sea will rise and the air will turn toxic in a prelude to [[TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt Ragnarök]].
    —>'''Axel''': Shit. The sea is rising. The air is turning toxic. I caused global warming!
    '''Mike''': How stoned are you?

25th Amendment

  • ''Film/MyFellowAmericans'': [[spoiler: It is revealed that the assassination attempt on Douglas and Kramer was orchestrated by Vice President [[ObfuscatingStupidity Matthews]] as part of a plot to force Haney to step down so he would then assume the presidency. When Douglas and Kramer expose Mathew's plan, they bemoan that it means that the Speaker of the House[[note]] it is never stated who the speaker is but at the time of filming it was Creator/NewtGingrich[[/note]] will become president.]]

  • ''WesternAnimation/FriskyDingo'' "A Take on 'Hooper": The Secretary for Homeland Security, [[spoiler: [[WhyDoYouKeepChangingJobs Mr. Ford]]]], shoots down the plane carrying President [[spoiler: Taqu'il]] and his entire cabinet. Then he poisons the House Speaker and President pro tempore of the Senate so that he becomes next in line for president.

Smoke Out

  • ''{{WesternAnimation/Robotomy}}'' "Trials Of Robocles": Chief Suckerpunch smokes out after he explains [[RiteOfPassage Jockstrap Island]] but keeps coming back to respond to comments then smoking out again until he only creates a small puff.
    —>''' Suckerpunch ''': Just great, I ran out of magic smoke!

Working on cleaning up List of Shows That Need Summary
fruitstripegum Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: Singularity
#1823: Jan 3rd 2015 at 4:00:14 PM

[up][up]Thank you for that.

By the way, I was wondering - are there too many commas in this paragraph?

And yet, as he barrelled through the double doors of the Mc Grady, Kennedy and Lewis law firm, he could tell even without looking at his watch that he was cutting it very fine indeed. WHY had the coffee maker chosen today, of all days, to break down? And it hadn’t simply decided to just stop working – oh no, that would have been too easy. Instead, it had decided that it would be more fun to short circuit the moment he turned it on and that it would also set fire to the curtains, forcing him to ransack the kitchen in an attempt to locate the fire extinguisher (perhaps moving it from its usual place behind the door HAD been a bad idea, after all). Then, after finally locating the extinguisher behind the microwave and putting out the flames, he had slipped while taking down the charred remains of what had once been floral window hangings and somehow managed to land directly on the bin, knocking off the swing top and sending the contents flying across the floor – which, of course, had meant that he had had to waste several minutes cleaning up the mess before he could get dressed.

RPGLegend Dipper fan from Mexico city Since: Mar, 2014
Dipper fan
#1824: Jan 4th 2015 at 1:22:14 AM

I have a quick,but important question. When do you start a new paragraph?

Forgiveness is beyond justice, faith is superior than hope, redemption is better than perfection and love is greater than them all.
SeptimusHeap from Switzerland (Edited uphill both ways) Relationship Status: Mu
#1825: Jan 4th 2015 at 1:23:44 AM

In example text? If the text of the example is getting very long. Assuming it's necessary to write such a long paragraph.

"For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled." - Richard Feynman

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