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Quotes / Screw the Rules, I Make Them!

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Anime and Manga

Comic Books

Al: Somebody hired you. Somebody can fire you.
Alan Greenspan: My name is Alan Greenspan. I don't work that way.

Corporate terrorism? Deepscan can't be a part of this...we run this under the radar. Everything goes through me. So tell me Theo, where are the servers we need to fry?
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Film — Animated

I'm the king, I can do whatever I want!
Scar, The Lion King

She only makes the rules so she can break them!

Film — Live-Action

Light: I decide who dies, you obey me. Those are the rules.
Ryuk: And who do you think wrote the rules?

Nicholas Angel: With respect, sir, you can't just make people disappear.
Chief Inspector: [pretends to think] Yyyyyyyes I can. I'm the Chief Inspector.

Mace Windu: The Senate will decide your fate.
Darth Sidious: I AM the Senate!

Aldo: Why were you there? To visit the city is forbidden.
Caesar: I know. I forbade it.
Aldo: Then why...?
Virgil: (interrupting) Aldo, if a King forbids his subjects to wear a crown, that doesn't mean he can't wear one himself.

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Nute Gunray: My lord! Is that ... legal?
Darth Sidious: I will make it legal.

Literature

Integrity
Truth, loyalty are private virtues; kings
Do as they will.
Atreus, Thyestes

"The last great battle," said the Queen, "raged for three days here in Charn itself. For three days I looked down upon it from this very spot. I did not use my power till the last of my soldiers had fallen, and the accursed woman, my sister, at the head of her rebels was halfway up those great stairs that lead up from the city to the terrace. Then I waited till we were so close that we could see one another's faces. She flashed her horrible, wicked eyes upon me and said, 'Victory.' 'Yes,' said I, 'Victory, but not yours.' Then I spoke the Deplorable Word. A moment later I was the only living thing beneath the sun."
"But the people?" gasped Digory.
"What people, boy?" asked the Queen.
"All the ordinary people," said Polly, "who'd never done you any harm. And the women, and the children, and the animals."
"Don't you understand?" said the Queen (still speaking to Digory). "I was the Queen. They were all my people. What else were they there for but to do my will?"
"It was rather hard luck on them, all the same," said he.
"I had forgotten that you are only a common boy. How should you understand reasons of State? You must learn, child, that what would be wrong for you or for any of the common people is not wrong in a great Queen such as I. The weight of the world is on our shoulders. We must be freed from all rules. Ours is a high and lonely destiny."

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Two types of people laugh at the law: those that break it and those that make it.

Greenyham: You can't do that!
Vetinari: Can I not? I am a tyrant. It's what we do.

Live-Action TV

"I am the king, I can do what I like!
Start up a war, or a big tax hike!
Got a French wife, she's a Catholic...
(Oh Lord!)
(Really, King Charles, we're not quite sure...)
Insolence! Is that how you talk to the crown?
I am the king, I'll just close parliament down!"
Horrible Histories, "English Civil War"

Cap. Sheridan: "Diplomatic immunity" only applies when the subject is charged with a crime; so far, Mr. Morden hasn't been charged. We're holding him in, uh, protective custody.
Vir: Protecting him from what??
Sheridan: I haven't decided yet. Good day, Mr. Cotto.

There are laws. There are laws of Time, and once upon a time there were people in charge of those laws, but they died. They all died. Do you know who that leaves? Me! It's taken me all these years to realize the Laws of Time are mine, and they will obey me!
The Doctor, Doctor Who

How do you plan to implement this "protocol", Doctor? Mister Tuvok doesn't have a security team. Both the brigs have been destroyed. And with the internal forcefields offline, you'll have a hell of a time keeping me confined. You'd better grab a phaser, because before I give up command you'll have to shoot me.
Cap. Janeway, Star Trek: Voyager, "Year of Hell Pt. 2"

THE KING CAN DO AS HE LIKES!

Lt. Blue: You don't like soldiers much, do you?
Doctor: You don't need to be liked. You've got all the guns.
Doctor Who, "Into the Dalek"

"Fairness" is such a human concept. Think imaginatively! This game shall, in fact, be... completely unfair!"
Q, Star Trek: The Next Generation, "Hide and Q"

Music

"I'm the new folk hero of the Ku Klux Klan
My cop friends think that's fine
You can get away with murder if you've got a badge
I fought the law and I won, I fought the law and I won
I fought the law and I won
I
am the law so I won"
Dead Kennedys, "I Fought the Law"

"Genocide?
Who will drag me to court?
There´s no crime if you do not get caught
I am the law! We burn!"
Sabaton, "We Burn"

Stand-up Comedy

I just bought a 2-bedroom house, but I think I get to decide how many bedrooms there are, don't you? "Fuck you, real estate lady! This bedroom has an oven in it! This bedroom's got a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom's over in that guy's house! Sir, you have one of my bedrooms, are you aware? Don't decorate it!"

Tabletop Games

It is Morathi and Morathi alone of the Witch Elves who is allowed to wield magical power; like her son, Morathi feels no shame in creating laws and traditions for the control of others, whilst ignoring them herself.
Warhammer: Dark Elves Army Book (6th Edition)

Video Games

They're telling me I oughta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more' pre-recorded messages! I pay the bills around here, I can talk about the control group all damn day!
Cave Johnson, Portal 2

When due process fails us, we really do live in a world of terror.
JC Denton, Deus Ex

We can shit on you from so high up, you'll think God himself took a dump on you.
Officer Frank Tenpenny, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

Ocelot: I don't approve of your methods!
Col. Volgin: I don't need your approval. I'm in command here.

Gatatog Uvenk: You abandon many traditions to get your way. Dangerous.
* Headbutt*
Urdnot Wrex: Speak when spoken to, Uvenk. I'll drag your clan to glory whether it likes it or not.

Did you know that, legally speaking, my word is the same as Tunon's word unless [Tunon] contradicts my word as Fatebinder? Rhogalus says the legal term for that is Proxy Decisis. Calio says the legal term is "fuck you, I'm the law".
The Fatebinder, Tyranny

Web Original

Ravandil: And that's a fucking crime?!
Dwarf king: It should be. Wait... I'm the KING! NOW IT IS!

Western Animation

Dr. Robotnik: I was bamboozled by Sonic! And it's all your fault!
Coconuts: What are you talkin' about? I wasn't even there!
Dr. Robotnik: SHUT UP! I'm the boss! I can blame whoever I want!
Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog ("Full Tilt Tails")

Webcomics

"...Look, kid, my first name is Boss and my last name is Leader. Rules only apply to me when they're looking for JOBS. 'Cause I MAKE or BREAK the rules. SON."
Boss Leader, Paranatural

General Bala-Amin: You're familiar with Celeschul's "Special Assets" law, I presume?
Commodore Tagon: I better be. I wrote the stupid thing.
General Bala-Amin: Then you knew you were breaking it when you left retirement and took command of a company of mercenaries in service to a foreign power.
Commore Tagon: I wrote it. I can re-write it.
General Bala-Amin: That's not actually how law works.
Commodore Tagon: I know members of the legislature who would disagree with you under oath.
General Bala-Amin: Okay, that's not how law works for regular people.

Real Life

L'état? C'est moi!
Louis XIV

It is more dangerous that even a guilty person should be punished without the forms of law than that he should escape.

The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it's good-bye to the Bill of Rights.
H. L. Mencken, On Politics: A Carnival of Buncombe

The illegal we do at once; the unconstitutional takes a little longer.
Henry Kissenger, parodying the Army Corps of Engineers' motto

I'm the president, and you're not.

Screw State! State's always on the side of the blacks. The hell with them!
Richard Nixon, White House tape transcripts from 1972

My library is filled with UN condemnations.
—Chilean President Augusto Pinochet

By definition, as a Prime Minister I cannot be a liar.
Silvio Berlusconi, 1.18.06

I am the Federal Government.
Tom DeLay, when asked to put out his cigar in a restaurant

To have “the powers that be” speak to you directly, and it be as you feared...To have very powerful figures look at you in the eye and say “You’re right in what you’re saying, but we’re going to crunch you anyway."
Yanis Varoufakis, Greek finance minister

Essentially, while I am allowed to exaggerate for comic effect, I am not allowed actively to lie. And it struck me as strange, as I watched the eggs rain down on Conservatives this month, that my standup comedian’s lowly standup comedy routines are held accountable to higher legal standards of truth and decency than, for example, a prime minister’s conference speech.

I had a little concern about the adjacent nightlife, and he [Mayor Giuliani] looked me in the eye and he said, 'It’ll be gone,' and I said, 'uh, Mr. Mayor, you know there is the American Civil Liberties Union, and I mean, they’re just not gone.'

He said, 'Look me in the eye.' And I said, 'what?' He said, 'Look me in the eye.' I said, 'Okay.' He said, 'They will be gone.'

(shrugs) Scared me.
Michael Eisner on Disney's renting of the New Amsterdam Theater, New York City

(before becoming Speaker) I refer to standing order 268, sub category B, paragraph 12, regarding that a question cannot be asked the way the member had asked it. (after becoming Speaker, addressing similar standing orders) There is no point of order.


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