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Quotes / Awesome, but Impractical

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"I know I look like I can, Gohan, but these bulky muscles make it hard to move fast, and if I'm going to beat Cell, I can't have anything slowing me down. I may have great power, but what good is it if I can't catch my enemy? It takes more than brute strength to win a fight."

If your top-end robotic assault device can be defeated with a baseball bat every time... well, that kinda says it all, doesn't it?
Gordon Freeman on Manhacks, Freeman's Mind 2

Weiss: [holding Professor Port's axe-blunderbuss] Why does this weapon have two axe-blades? You can't even aim!
Professor Port: [off-screen] Ho-ho! Personal preference!

It's not only impressive, it's irresponsible.
Panther of The Protomen

Rory Swann: Those goofy mercs are still using Vultures. Can ya believe it? Damn things are death traps even when you ain't got people shooting at ya.
Jim Raynor: Careful now, Swann. My old Vulture saved my skin more times than I care to remember. I ain't gonna listen to you trash talk a classic piece of engineering like that.
Rory Swann: Classic? I suppose you could call 'em that. 'Course, most folks like a bike that don't explode on them when the repeller seals freeze up, or the fuel cells start leaking radioactive waste — but hey, who cares if it's a 'classic', right?

That's smoke, yes yes, see? It's a proper supercar! It didn't just come to the track and do a lap like a robot and be boring, it came to the track and exploded, immediately! That's what, it's what supercars do! It's proper!
Richard Hammond, Top Gear (UK), on a Pagani Zonda

Again Alfred, it's a STEALTH FIGHTER JET shaped like a BAT and I use it to fight common STREET CRIME. WHAT ABOUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE?!

Give me a gun that never fires! Give me a sword that is ever blunt! Give me a weapon that deals no wound, so long as it always strikes fear!
Warhammer 40,000, expounding on a way to take the "Impractical" out of this trope

That's not what The Empire would have done, Commander. What the Empire would have done was build a super-colossal Yuuzhan Vong-killing battle machine. They would have called it the Nova Colossus or the Galaxy Destructor or the Nostril of Palpatine or something equally grandiose. They would have spent billions of credits, employed thousands of contractors and subcontractors, and equipped it with the latest in death-dealing technology. And you know what would have happened? It wouldn't have worked. They'd forget to bolt down a metal plate over an access hatch leading to the main reactors, or some other mistake, and a hotshot enemy pilot would drop a bomb down there and blow the whole thing up. Now that's what the Empire would have done.

Taiga: Who just took the lead in with such incredible speed!? It's Lancer's GaeBolCar!
Lancer: Sorry, I'm settling it here! My GaeBolCar is awesome! The speed is just incredible!
Rin: Hey, Archer. Did you know? Dragsters... can't turn.
(GaeBolCar crashes and explodes)
Archer: Lancer died!
Taiga: You aren't human!

In order to gain extra speed, the chassis of this prototype has been thinned out to such an extreme that the pilot can barely breathe inside the cockpit. It is so thin, in fact that there isn't enough room for the standard steering rack, or acceleration module, requiring the pilot to rely solely on their airbrakes to steer and auto-accelerate. Any test pilot would be crazy to get anywhere near this thing.
WipEout 2048, description of the Pir-hana Prototype

Harris stood over the unconscious mechanic and searched him for weapons. Fergus carried nothing but the tools in his belt.
Jean-Pierre joined him. "I have never seen a jumping kick like that."
"Flying side kick. Best used against immobile targets and blind men. But when it connects, it tends to smart."

You fight it, and the robot deploys arms with four buzzsaw blades. Because why would you bother with boring old laser guns or missiles when you can put fucking buzzsaws on the end?! No, electro-buzzsaws! Hey, you want Effective or you want Awesome, you can't have both, people.

What, you've never seen a Canadian Destroyer? It's amazing, and the stupidest thing I've ever seen. It's pro wrestling.
Black Hole of Board Games, Power Slam VCR Wrestling

Nuclear-powered bombers struggled to take off under the weight of their radioactive shielding. Airborne aircraft carriers hovered on the verge of catastrophe. Drilling moles caused subsidence and flooding while a mobile fortress wallowed in the ruins of a collapsed bridge. Soldiers with multiple compound fractures were evacuated from their flying tanks while tracked minisubs labored to escape from debris-choked lake bottoms. A submarine-plane erupted from the surface of the ocean, rockets blazing in a futile effort to lift its heavy pressure hull into the air.
Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space

That feels like the dumbest, most impractical weapon ever, I hope I get it.
Pat's reaction on seeing Sundowner's pincer blades in their Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance LP

Richard Castle: What would you do if you won that kind of money?
Detective Esposito: Easy. Buy a Ferrari.
Richard Castle: I have one. Not as cool as you'd think.
Detective Esposito: Yeah, but they're hella fast.
Richard Castle: As fast as any other car in rush hour traffic.
Castle, "Lucky Stiff"

Spinister: A frikken symbol ship.
Crankcase: Technically a D-Class Worldsweeper. A P-6 model. Famous for... damn, what was it?
What's the point of having a fast car anyway? Is there some legal speed that they're trying to reach that they can't seem to do with normal cars? Even if your car can go more than 200 mph, you have to break the law (more often than not) to do so. Way to go dipshit, you spent your life savings on something you can't use. Worthless.

Harry Potter: What the hell am I supposed to do with a wand that I can only fire 3 to 4 times before I pass out from exhaustion? ASSUMING I haven't already used magic that day.
Emma Granger: Don't miss.

Pharaoh: What does [Kaiba's cheat code] do?
Kaiba: It gives me unlimited cards!
Pharaoh: Okay, but how does that help?
Kaiba: What?
Pharaoh: Won't that just make it harder for you to draw the card you want?
Kaiba: No! It-It... I have unlimited cards now! You only have forty! That is much less than what I have!

"When 3 Destiny Counters are on this card, you win the Duel." ...And before three Counters are on it, you'll lose the duel.

Vegeta: Hey, Kakarot, what happened to your Ultra Instinct?!
Goku: I can't do it!
Vegeta: What?!
Goku: I guess I was pushed to the edge in the tournament and did it accidentally!

Popular fiction has shown us the awesome, brutal power of the chainsaw. Its lightning-quick rotating teeth can easily slice through flesh and bone, making the strength and skill required for manual weapons unnecessary. Its roar might also give the owner a much-need psychological boost — empowerment in a situation where abject terror is a given. How many horror movies have you seen in which this industrial killing machine has spelled doom for anyone and anything it touched? In reality, however, chainsaws and similar powered devices rank extremely low on the list of practical zombie-killing weapons. For starters, their fuel supply is finite. Once drained, they provide as much protection as a hand-held stereo. Carrying extra fuel or power cells leads to the second inherent problem: weight. The average chainsaw weighs ten pounds, compared to a two-pound machete. Why increase the chances of exhaustion? Safety must also be considered. One slip, and the spinning teeth might be slicing through your skull just as easily as your enemy's. Like any machine, another problem is noise. A chainsaw's distinctive roar, even if running for just a few seconds, will be enough to broadcast to every zombie within earshot "Dinner is served!"

Harrenhal is a prize; a nigh-impregnable castle with enough land and income to make a man, at a stroke, one of the greatest lords in Westeros. But you would not be entirely right, either. Say, by a king's grace, Harrenhal became yours. Now you must garrison it. You must repair it and maintain it. Even stretched to the end of your means, you cannot fill and manage the whole castle. So you would retreat your household to four of the five towers — then three, then two, then only the bottom thirds of those. You close the Hall of the Hundred Hearths and take your meals in your rooms. Even then you can't shake the feeling of desolation; that Harrenhal and its vastness is devouring you.
In later years, as you bury a grandson or a great-grandson, the last of your line... you will know it has.
Lady Catelyn Stark, Game of Thrones - History And Lore Of Westeros: Harrenhal

There is no port in the Kingdome that can harbour this shipp. The wild sea must bee her port, her anchors and cables her safety; if either fayle, the shipp must perish, the King lose his jewel, four or five hundred man must die, and perhaps some great and noble peer."
The Brethren of Trinity House in regards to Charles II's planned new flagship, the Sovereign of the Seas


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