"I Like Trains" Kid/Ryan
Appearances: asdfmovie2, asdfmovie3, asdfmovie6, asdfmovie9, asdfmovie10, asdfmovie12
A boy who likes trains... and that's about it.
- Ambiguous Disorder: He seems to be only capable of saying "I like trains!" and has an obsession with trains. His dedicated song states he never spoke a word until he went to school, and had to take a ritalin treatment.
- Ambiguously Evil: It's hard to tell if he actively likes killing people with trains, doesn't understand that murder is wrong or what.
- Ambiguously Gay: In one of the fanmade skits animated in "You wrote the WORST asdfmovie ever," he marries somebody else who also likes trains (Or, nearly marries them, before they both get run over by the train at the altar.) While nothing is said on the other person's gender, the fact that they're voiced by Tomska in his natural voice would imply them to be male, but at the same time he uses the same voice for the cow pretending to be a man, meaning their gender could swing either way.
- Brown Note: Him uttering his catchphrase ends with him or someone near him getting hit by a train.
- Catchphrase: We dare you to take a guess...
- Creepy Child: Rarely speaks beyond his deadly catchphrase, and when he does it's in a wooden monotone. He gets it from his dad.
- Ink-Suit Actor: Visually modeled after the late Edd Gould, his voice actor. Outside show depictions even put a hoodie on him to complete the look. The animesque opening of asdfmovie12 makes this more apparent, wherein his appearance vaguely resembles Edd as he appears in Eddsworld.
- Long Bus Trip: Edd Gould's untimely death led to the Kid disappearing after asdfmovie3. He finally reappeared in asdfmovie9, albeit only in voice.
- No Name Given: In the show proper, he isn't called anything but "I Like Trains" Kid. According to Tomska, he and Edd called him "Ryan" as an inside-joke.
- The Quiet One: According to his backstory, he never spoke until the first time he uttered his catchphrase, which is now the only thing he ever says.
- They Killed Kenny Again: Every time he appears, he announces that he likes trains, and promptly gets run over by one.
- Rail Enthusiast: He likes trains!
- Series Mascot: Even after Gould's death led to the character's appearances lessening, he's one of the show's most well known characters, and along with Mr. Muffin, the Potato and Mine Turtle, he's one of the "faces" of the series.
- Speak of the Devil: Whenever he speaks his catchphrase, a train appears.
- Vague Age: Despite being called a "kid", he's allowed to get a job, buy a house and get married, not to mention he's visually modeled after his voice actor, who was in his 20s when he first started voicing him.
- When He Smiles: His default expression is blank, but at the end of asdfmovie3, his mouth bends into a small smile.
Appearances: asdfmovie7, asdfmovie8, asdfmovie12
- Anthropomorphic Food: A talking muffin.
- Cheerful Child: A perky, energetic child who just happens to want to die.
- Death Seeker: He's a muffin that wants to be eaten.Mr. Muffin: Hey Joey, d'you wanna eat me?
Joey: No thanks, Mr. Muffin!
Mr. Muffin: But I wanna die!
- Series Mascot: By the time of asdfmovie12, he seems to have become the face of asdfmovie, alongside the Potato, Mine Turtle and "I Like Trains" Kid. He's even the star of the card game Muffin Time.
- Suicide as Comedy: The living embodiment of this trope.
- Stepford Smiler: Possibly, seeing as he's constantly begging everyone to kill him whilst keeping a cheery face and personality. The anime-style version in the asdfmovie 12 opening is a little boy in a Troubled Fetal Position.
- Suicide by Cop: Is constantly begging someone to eat him.
Appearances: asdfmovie, asdfmovie2, asdfmovie3, asdfmovie12
- Anthropomorphic Food: A living potato.
- Big "NO!": His reaction to getting squashed.
- Killed Off for Real: After getting run over by a train thanks to the "I like trains" kid in asdfmovie3, he doesn't reappear. The very next asdfmovie has a man reading a newspaper with the headline "Potato Found Dead".
- They Killed Kenny Again: Squashed by a random guy in his first appearance, run over by a train in his third, although the latter apparently stuck.
- The Mafia: The anime-style Potato in the asdfmovie 12 is a Badass in a Nice Suit, with the Cool Shades and gun of the "not today" skit, giving off this vibe.
- Took a Level in Badass: An excellent example in episode 2, where he pulls out a pistol at his would-be murderer.Random Guy: Die Potato!
Potato: (pulls out a gun) Not today.
Random Guy: D:
"Do The Flop" Guy/Dougal Flopguy
Appearances: asdfmovie6, asdfmovie7, asdfmovie12, asdfmovie13
- Catchphrase: "Everybody do the Flop!"
- Cool Shades: One of his main distinguishing features is a pair of shutter shades.
- Dance Sensation: "The Flop", which he invented. It led to mass chaos.
- Face Plant: What "The Flop" amounts to.
- The Klutz: He's inherently bad on his feet, always managing to Face Plant whenever attempting to dance. Of course, he managed to take advantage of it.
- Long-Haired Pretty Boy: If we are to take the Animesque opening in asdfmovie12 seriously, he's one of these, being well-dressed, handsome and having long hair tied in a braided ponytail.
Appearances: asdfmovie5, asdfmovie6, asdfmovie: deleted scenes, asdfmovie12, asdfmovie14
A recurring species of turtle invented by a scientist named Tom, which all come with landmine that causes a massive explosion whenever its button is pushed by any means.
- Catchphrase: "Hello!", almost surely followed up by an explosion.
- Earth-Shattering Kaboom: A sufficiently large enough swarm of Mine Turtles will cause this if they all go off at times very close to each other, as shown in the ending of "Mine Turtle".
- Land Mine Goes "Click!": Whenever somebody steps on one, the Mine Turtle produces and audible "click", likely from the button on its shell.
- Made of Iron: In "Mine Turtle", the very first Mine Turtle is shot twice by the cops trying to stop Tom, its inventor, before the turtle explodes. The Mine Turtle outright No Sells the gunshots and manages to explode anyway.
- Make Wrong What Once Went Right: According to the Mine Turtle music video, the Mine Turtles invented Time Travel in order to propagate themselves into a time period 100 million years in the past. Cue Stuff Blowing Up in prehistoric times in addition to the modern era.
- Non-Indicative Name: As pointed out in the Mine Turtle music video, they're not technically turtles, but tortoises.
- Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Between lines of "Mine Turtle", one of them manages to defeat aliens. Given that it then flies back to earth with alien technology, it either did so without exploding, or had compatriots and at least one of them survived the battle.
- Phlebotinum Killed the Dinosaurs: Mine Turtle propagation did, via Time Travel.
- Slasher Smile: Wears one of these in the asdfmovie 12 opening. Also has an extra button.
- Stuff Blowing Up: He's a living landmine.
- Turtle Power: Of the explosive variety.
- Was Once a Man: The first Mine Turtle used to be a regular old turtle in a petting zoo until Tom fitted a land mine into it.
Appearances: asdfmovie8, asdfmovie10, asdfmovie12, asdfmovie12: deleted scenes
- Ambiguous Innocence: They are seen skateboarding past the corpses of murdered orphans, after a horrified bystander asks who would do something so awful. There's no indication they killed the orphans, but they don't seem to bat an eye either...
- Butch Lesbian: Picks up Eddie's girlfriend in 8.
- Catchphrase: "You wanna go skateboards?"
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Their disguise is literally just a hat and a skateboard. They still fool ''everybody'', including the police (who hire them to infiltrate a gang) and a group of gangsters (who are fooled twice over, given that they don't add anything to their attire as the "man on the inside").
- Samus Is a Girl: If the opening of asdfmovie12 is to be believed, Skateboard Cow is female. Given that the word "cow" usually applies to female cattle, this actually kind of makes sense.
- Stealth Pun: Cow being female cattle (and the anime version being visibly female), the cow "pretending to be a man" refers to both acting as though human and presenting as though male.
- Talking Animal: A cow who pretends to be a man.
Desmond the Moon Bear
Appearances: asdfmovie2, asdfmovie7, asdfmovie12
- Batman Can Breathe in Space: TomSka confirms that Desmond can survive on the surface on the moon.
- The Bear: The asdfmovie 12 opening depicts him as a burly, hairy man.
- Bears Are Bad News: Averted. He's nice, but understandably confused as to why he's on the moon.
- Killed Off for Real: As of asdfmovie7, he's dead having been eaten by an unknown creature off-screen. TomSka offers the idea that it was the girl in the "Why wait?" sketch who got kicked to the moon.
- We Hardly Knew Ye: He gets one line in his first appearance and is shown dead in the second.
Appearances: asdfmovie4, asdfmovie: deleted scenes, asdfmovie12
Beep Beep Sheep
Appearances: asdfmovie10, asdfmovie12
- Ambiguous Gender: Beep Beep's human self in asdfmovie12 looks like he could either be a girl or a really pretty guy, due to both the long hair and the fact he's wearing a concealing jacket that hides most of his body. Given that the opening is clearly parodying Moe Anthropomorphism and Adaptational Attractiveness/Self-Fanservice, this is probably intentional.
- Composite Character: The original skits and music video had three prominent sheep - the vocalist, one with a pair of Cool Shades, and one with a backwards cap. Other appearances have a sheep with shades representing the group as a whole.
- Dance Sensation: "Beep beep, I'm a sheep, I said beep beep I'm a sheep!" His fame ends pretty quickly though.
- Hypocrite: One of them gets mad at the skateboarding cow when he tries to do his own version of the theme. Then they use it in the music video anyways.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: One of them gets "COW" painted on his wool in the music video for for the "meow meow, I'm a cow" stanza.
Appearances: asdfmovie7, asdfmovie: deleted scenes, asdfmovie13
- Deadly Gaze: Inverted; the sun blinds anyone who looks at him. One man learns the hard way when the sun tricks him into doing so.
- Evil Laugh: Releases a rather smug one when he blinds a man who looks at him directly.
- Fat Bastard: Is the largest object in the solar system, and is pretty sly about blinding people. Though, he takes being called fat as a compliment.
- Genius Loci: Like several other major celestial bodies in the asdfmovie universe, the Sun seems to have a mind and even audibly human voice of his own.
- Insult Backfire: When Saturn mocks his very large size in asdfmovie7, the Sun only smiles, seemingly emboldened by the insult.
- Schmuck Bait: In the deleted scenes, the sun tells a man to look at him, causing him to go blind.
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Ends up burning a man (and likely everyone else on Earth) to death when he goes to greet someone who greeted them back.Man: Hello sun!Sun: [Rapidly approaching the Earth] Hellooooooooooooooo![Cut to a clip of the man melting and reduced to a skeleton]
Appearances: asdfmovie5, asdfmovie6, asdfmovie: deleted scenes
A magical pony with flying abilities.
- Back for the Dead: After flying away in asdfmovie5, it reappears in asdfmovie6 only to be shot down by a rocket.
- Be Careful What You Wish For: Its owner wonders if it could fly. It promptly starts to float into the sky out of nowhere, with its owner never seeing it again.
- Killed Mid-Sentence: The pony is shot down right when the second line of its Leitmotif concludes. He's a magical pony flying through the sky on a magical journey just for you and I...
- Leitmotif: While flying through the sky, the pony has its very own theme tune that plays until the rocket kills it.
- Off with His Head!: Inverted, since the rocket's explosion destroys the pony's entire body except its head.
- Power Floats: The pony manages to take off and fly through the sky without any wings, flight technology or even externally granted enchantment whatsoever.
- Tempting Fate: Invokes this trope by flying away from its owner when he wonders whether his pony can fly.
Appearances: asdfmite, asdfmovie8, asdfmovie9
John's unfaithful wife.
A sentient jar of marmite who is terrible.