◊ of Jack Nicholson.Dril
is a famous account on Twitter, commonly regarded as one of the most iconic and hilarious accounts in the history of the site.
Dril's posts are...odd, to say the least. They paint a picture of a semi-consistent character — a deranged, incompetent, arrogant jerkass exaggeratedly mirroring an archetypical male American internet user — mixed in with large amounts of surrealism and parodies of current events, often taking an implicitly left-wing stance through its mocking of right-wing figures. His idiosyncratic style of profane and low-brow absurdism woven in with these layered moments of satire and general disdain for authority has frequently earned Dril the moniker of "the Diogenes of the 21st century".
The character of Dril is scatological, overshares a lot of peculiar sexual fetishes (and shows a Paralyzing Fear of Sexuality that is fetishistic in itself) and is obsessed with defending himself from his enemies on the internet (who he often seems to squabble with on Web 2.0 platforms, like forums, chain emails, and IRC channels).
A common theme is Dril's fascination with police, whom he both sycophantically idolizes and fearfully reviles. He frequently is investigated by them for his chaotic actions, and reacts to their intrusions on his life with bootlicking worship and/or incoherent resentment, and sometimes it is unclear which. His family often includes rowdy sons who get into upsetting mischief, and multiple wives, but he also defends the honour of his 'girl followers' in a superficially innocent but salacious manner. The details of his personal life, age, and politics change depending on what is funniest, but he's always white, male, and American.
Dril is highly quotable, and the account has generated countless memes. It's often joked that a Dril quote exists for every situation, and indeed, Dril posts so often, and with such variety in topics, that it's almost standard practice to use relevant Dril posts to mock particularly absurd events.
A man of mystery, Dril's real identity was unintentionally exposed after he was credited under his real name as a writer on a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff book and Hiveswap, although he was wholly unbothered by this. He also starred alongside fellow Weird Twitter user derek in the parody news show Truthpoint Darkweb Rising. On his 10th anniversary in 2018, he published a print collection of his tweets with original artwork. This was followed up with in 2021 with the self-help parody The Get Rich And Become God Method.
In 2023, Dril officially unmasked for the first time, granting interviews to websites under his real name as part of his desire to do more offline comedy. This coincided with the purchase of Twitter by Elon Musk, after which he reimagined his persona as an antiheroic defender of the site.
An archive of his tweets is available here.
Dril's posts include examples of:
- 90% of Your Brain: He believes in this.what would you do if i unlocked 100% of my true brain? Nothing. you would be fucked
- Above Good and Evil:the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: "theres actually zero difference between good and bad things.you imbecile. you fucking moron.
- all lowercase letters: Frequently posts in all-lowercase, contributing to the Stylistic Suck.
- And I Must Scream: He claims cops will torture you forever if you fail to turn in your spare grenades.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Lampshaded in at least one occasion:hm lets see.. *Logs On To Dark Net* bomb recipes... voyeur upskirt.. snuff vids..DILBERT?? WHo thef fuck put dilbert on dark net
- Bestiality Is Depraved:BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES
- Bondage Is Bad: Dril is a terrible person who is obsessed with internetty sexual perversions and keeps posting about them.
- Bothering by the Bookthe jduge orders me to take off my anonymous v mask & im wearing the joker makeup underneath it. everyone in the courtroom groans at my shit
- Canon Immigrant: Of a sort. Dril started out as a poster on Something Awful as "gigantic drill" and his style of humour originated on FYAD, a board for low-quality posts and people pretending to be idiots for fun. (Contrary to popular belief, "gigantic drill" was never a prominent FYAD user and only started posting there in 2014, long after he was established on Twitter.) Many of dril's stranger tweets are parody references to SomethingAwful lore - for just one example, the candles tweet is a parody of this thread from the personal finance board where user "zaurg" reveals he spends preposterous amounts of monthly expenditure on "gifts".
- Can't Hold His Liquor: His idea of a weekend is to drink a single beer...and then call 911.
- Casual Kink: In his older tweets Dril frequently bring up his habit of wearing diapers, including while serving his family at Thanksgiving.for the last time, Diaper is capitalized when referring to the lifestyle or state of mind, but not when referring to the physical object.
- Cloudcuckoolander: A core part of Dril's character.
- Conspiracy Theorist: Believes in conspiracies and alternative health fads, especially ones that contradict. He lives exclusively on raw milk, thinks the Keebler Elves are Jews involved in conspiracy, and claims scientists have invented a vaccine that cures and causes autism simultaneously ("THE ULTIMATE HIGH").
- Cool and Unusual Punishment:
- He once was forced to watch cops put mustard on a bagel, causing him a lot of distress.
- Is being tortured by user Beavis_Sinatra, who keeps sending him photographs of cups too close to the edge of the table.
- Cop Hater: Is somehow this despite also being a cop sycophant who begs for jackboots on his neck.
- Crappy Holidays:
- FOR CHRIST MAS I WILL ATTEMPT TO RATIONALIZE MY DESTRUCTIVE SELF HATRED AND UNCEREMONIOUSLY FAIL TO SUCCEEd at anything whatsoever thank you
- "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit
- Cure for Cancer: Inverted with his hollow point Smith & Wesson which gives targets leukemia.
- Easy Road to Hell:
- Wint has accepted he's going to hell for pronouncing the word "church" as "gurtch" once.
- Later a priest does this to him by lighting a neon "MILLERTIME" sign on his coffin.
- Every American who dies goes to hell as long as the national debt isn't paid off.
- Everything Is Racist: Dril frequently claims to be a victim of "racism" about things that have nothing to do with race and probably are in his imagination to begin with. For example, he claims he experiences racism for being "a content creator" or for "desecrating a toilet".
- Forced Transformation: Somebody shrinks into a corn cob while still screaming about how they're right about something.im not owned! im not owned!!', i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob
- The Heart: It's common to find Twitter users describing Dril as the beating heart of the site or otherwise 'load-bearing'. Flashes of this began to emerge in his persona when squabbling with lolicon-addicted nerds, but became one of his more prominent character traits in his beef with Elon Musk in 2022.
- Heh Heh, You Said "X": Finds it amusing when his blood pressure is 420 over 69.i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
- Ice-Cream Koan:
- (bowed head solemnly rises from deep thought) Intellidgence is the strength of wisdom
- the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: "theres actually zero difference between good and bad things.you imbecile. you fucking moron.
- (bowed head solemnly rises from deep thought) Intellidgence is the strength of wisdom
- I Just Shot Marvin in the Face:(accidentaly fires entire ar15 magazine into my foot & leg with 100% accuracy rate) alright. thats fine. heres what i think happened, [1/82]
- Internet Jerk: Dril's personality is 'the anonymous psycho of the comments box', according to the poet Patricia Lockwood.
- Jerkass Has a Point: The account's single moment of lucidity was shutting down a self-admitted paedophile who believed that Mr Ratburn's marriage getting censored on Arthur somehow proved the moral hypocrisy of those who were "censoring waifus".who cares. pick up a foot ball
let the record show that the minor-attracted genius blocked me after i said this - Kayfabe: In the 10+ years the account has been active, dril has never broken character.fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this
- Little "No": The account's very first tweet consisted solely of the word "no".
- Loophole Abuse:THE COP GROWLS "TAKE OFF TH OSE JEANS, CITIZEN." I COMPLY, REVEALING THE FULL LENGTH DENIM TATTOOS ON BOTH LEGS. THE COP SCREAMS; DEFEATED'
- Messiah Creep: Dril started out as the internet's furious, masturbating demon, but after gaining a reputation for being a mascot or even prophet for the site, his character became more of a righteous trickster.
- Names to Run Away from Really Fast:ARMY: your nickname reflects poorly on us all. we're changing it to something like "raven" or "switchknife"
ME: no. "hostage killer" is good - Night of the Living Mooks: Implied when he references the "skeleton war" where skeletons in graves that don't say "rest in peace" get drafted.
- Noodle Incident:
- Pretty much everything he does. It's all out-of-context flashes into the world of a very unbalanced person.
- What was it that caused him to fall out with DigimonOtis?
- Not Afraid of Hell: He claims that if the zoo bans him for hollering at the animals, he "WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL."
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: During the 2022 Twitter layoffs amidst fears of a site-wide shutdown, he posted a Linktree with his other social media accounts.
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: He has a complicated relationship with his former friend DigimonOtis, with whom he once attempted to open a barbership (which fell through due to dril's phobia of hair). They fell out in 2012 after an unknown incident, and Dril attempted to make amends by making an artwork for him, which caused DigimonOtis to block him. Dril later claimed DigimonOtis "made my life a living hell for 20 years" and called him a nerd. After this, he regularly criticised the DigimonOtis brand and claimed to want to destroy his empire via 'a coordinated campaign of viral folk songs'. DigimonOtis responded by sending death threats from a non-existent desk. On April 2015, Dril announced a truce during which DigimonOtis would unblock his account to end the feud, but was kept waiting, had to go to Otis's house, then abandoned the truce by claiming the new Digimon game looked like shit before freezing the peace treaty in piss and throwing it on the freeway. While Dril has praised DigimonOtis's efforts to "keep Sharia Law out of the donkey kong 64 wiki", the two remain nemeses. As of writing, their last known contact was in November 2019, when Dril left a severed human thumb in Otis's bed to call out his disloyalty, though he did poke fun at him for catching COVID-19 attending the midnight release of Balan Wonderworld.Fuck Otis. I will never follow a bastard such as this.
- Skewed Priorities:
- Dril spends more money on candles than basic necessities.@dril: Food $200
Data $150
Rent $800
Candles $3,600
Utility $150
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying.
@craigus12: spend less on candles
@dril: no - Dril laughs at his blood pressure being 420/69. Apparently hooting about those numbers is more important than the fact that he has lethally high blood pressure.
- Dril spends more money on candles than basic necessities.
- Sliding Scale of Libertarianism and Authoritarianism: Dril's political opinions veer all over the compass, but he is consistently an Stupid Evil extremist. He wants jokes and sex banned and 'a cop in every household' by 2025 (auth right), wants to move to North Korea because they have stronger cops (auth left); makes regular donations to Cambridge Analytica (auth centre), ruined his uncle's 4th of July barbecue due to it 'smack[ing] of gender' (lib left) and wants to end taxes with 'cyber pinball' (lib right).
- Straw Loser: He's everyone you hate online. He can barely type, he's a miserable, onanistic nerd whose opinions suck, he's obsessed with idiotic things, and he knows it. It should be impossible to be able to relate his tweets to any made by anyone real, which is why it's a reliable insult to be able to relate a public figure's statements to a dril tweet.
- Stylistic Suck: Posts are often misspelled or in some other way contrived to look as if they were written by an idiot.
- Surreal Humour: The account relies on very bizarre logic and circumstances in making its tweets.
- Suspiciously Specific Denial:
- "i have no idea how that turd got on your ceiling, but it definitely didn't fly out of my shorts while iwas doing a backflip"
- "i swear to everyone on this site that i am truly, truly a good and compassionate person, and i have a completely normal dick that isnt small"
- Teeny Weenie: He periodically makes reference to his penis being exceptionally small, even spreading micropenis awareness ribbons.
- This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: When questioned about posting "james earl bond"note :ST PETER: on march 14 2024 you posted simply the words "james earl bond". hope the 34 favs were worth it idiot
ME: They were bitch - Turn in Your Badge:you've disgraced the uniform of Police. hand me your badge, gun, hat, knife, belt buckle, cowboyboots, laser whip, bullet purse, cock ring,
- Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: He's funny because he's such a terrible person.
- Vague Age: Dril is whatever age is necessary for the joke to work. He's in his late 30s when he's rejecting his previous username of "Cunt_Smoker", 24 when spraypainting a mattress shop with the word "teen," old enough to have a 35 year old son, and he's also whatever a "46 year old teen" is. He's definitely always male though.
