Funny / Outside Xbox Gameplay

For moments related primarily to non-gameplay videos (Top X lists, Show of the Week/Weekend and all other videos), go here. For funny moments found in the Oxventure Dungeons & Dragons campaign, go here, here, and here. For moments in Blades in the Dark, go here. For moments in Deadlands, go here.

Funny Moments from the Outside Xbox Crew playing games in Lets Plays, Xmas Challenges and Livestreams.

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Let's Plays

• Let's Play Dating Sims on XBOX Live:
  • The group reaction to Don't Die Dateless, Dummy, which is just a bit messed-up when it comes to women.
  Jane: I can't help but feel this is a window into the writer's mind. A terrifying window.
  • Upon discovering that Virtual Attraction is technically titled Virtual Attraction 1, apparently in expectation of a sequel:
  Andy: ... They're confident.
  • Virtual Attraction has, again, some weird ideas about women.
  Mike: Is this just a negging simulator?
  Jane: Yeah, this is "The Game: The Game".
  • When the creepy visuals make another appearance in Who's Gonna Get The Girl, Mike and Andy can be seen visibly cringing away from the screen.
  Mike: MY EYES!
  • Everything about the Old Spice: The Secret To The Perfect Pickup Line segment, but especially them continually and accidentally flubbing the pickup lines (even with the deodorant powerup activated^note which both slows down the options wheel, and highlights the correct answer whilst blacking out all the others), leading to things like:
  "Was that an earthquake, or did you just [pwn] my world?"
  "Hi, I suffer from [headaches], do you come here often?"
  "My [anger] for you is like the ocean, never ending."
  "If [ice panther] was time, you'd be [a goat]."
  • The conclusion.
  Jane: We hope you've learned something. We certainly have.
  Andy: I've learned not to play romantic indie games.
  Mike: (cheerful sarcasm) And I've learned women are subhuman!
  (Everyone cracks up)
• Let's Play PT:
  • Andy referring to the ghost as a "spookington". This somehow fails to reduce the fear.
  • The whole sequence with the bathroom.
  Jane: I hope you don't need the bathroom.
  Andy: I do now!
  • Ellen arrives in the middle of an unnerving sequence involving what appears to be a screaming fetus, giving Jane and Andy simultaneous heart attacks. Said foetus is dubbed "Feety the PT Foetus", and even gets its own theme song.
    • Even better: a subsequent list video reveals that Jane had in fact arranged this prank, having texted Ellen to bang on the door on her arrival
  • "I'm beatboxing in fear!"
  • Mike dubs the repetitive setting, consisting of running through the same few corridors with creepy as hell tweaks, "the sequel to Groundhog Day that nobody wanted".
  • Repeatedly applying "the classic horror strategy of moonwalking" because they're worried the ghost will be there if they turn around.
  • Upon discovering something in the pause screen, they come up with other possible locations, including the media bar and Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain.
  • The Shout-Out density increases sharply as they become increasingly unnerved.
  • "Everything is eyeballllls...everything is eyeballs when you're being-murdered-by-ghosts..."
  • "Stop degaussing my screen, you monster!"
• Let's Play Battlefront Death Star DLC:
  • Jane plays chicken with Slave I and loses.
  Andy: "Slave I In My Face: The Jane Douglas Story." Title of your autobiography.
  • Jane dubs herself "Rando Rebel #17."
  Mike: Rando Calrissian.
  • Andy Farrant, A-Wing hipster.
  Mike: I'm gonna stick with the X-Wing, it's cool and its wings go up and down.
  Andy: Yeah, all right, if you wanna be mainstream, Mike. I like this little fighter, it's called the A-Wing, bit obscure, hasn't made it to Tatooine - whatever backwater you're from...
  • Andy tempts fate:
  "Easy pickings!" (crashes into TIE fighter, loses most of his health)
  • The team concludes that they're recovering R2-D2 from the Death Star because he has the map to where Mark Hamill is hiding out - Los Angeles.
  • Jane finds an R4 and wonders if they could just roll it back to the Rebel base and pretend it's R2.
  • Motivation can be very important.
  Mike: (Han) is there for the glory, I think.
  Jane: He's there for the smooches!
  Andy: Yeah, the princess, and the treasure.
  Jane: Why aren't we in it for the princess and the treasure?
  Mike: We're in it for the modest paycheque.
  Jane: Getting shot at, yeah.
  • Jane is killed by someone with "Revan" in their handle:
  Wrong game, idiot!
  • "Mike, this is a dustbin. You've brought back a dustbin."
  • With R2 inches from extraction and time nearly up, they propose getting him onboard the transport by throwing him.
  • At the start of the third phase, Jane and Mike are assigned for the trench run. Within seconds, Mike gets shot down but before Andy could even finish berating him, Jane gets killed too.
• Far Cry 4 Tuk-Tuk Ski Jump Challenge: The team experiences a minor mathematical issue when Jane scores a total of six points in three runs:
  Mike: On top of your four...
  [*THREE]
  Mike: So seven altogether...
  [*NO IT ISN'T]
  Mike: Oh my god. Tiebreak situation.
  [(WE ARE BAD AT COUNTING)]]
• Let's Play Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes
  • When describing the symbols on the keypad of a bomb, for one of them Ellen is unable to provide any further description than "half a hashtag"^note For what it's worth, it appears to be a variation on a Samekh.
  Mike: You are such a millennial!
  • The fact that the three Butt-Monkey of the show were given the task of defusing bombs hadn't escaped the viewers' notice
• Far Cry 5:
  • Luke and Andy driving around Hope County to find Cheeseburger the bear, improvising lyrics based on the song "Cheeseburger In Paradise".
  Luke and Andy: Cheeseburger in Paradise,
  We're gonna find a bear and it's gonna be nice...
• Red Dead Redemption:
  • The hosts talking about how annoyed Marston must be by the two women behind him on the train talking about the future:
  Andy: He's like, I wish I hadn't had Redemption, or I'd shoot these two...
  Jane: "I'll have to start redeeming myself all over again..."
  • The hosts waste no time riffing and mocking John Marston's approach to Bill Williamson's stronghold. Namely just walking up to the gate only to be shot at.
  • Them naming Marston's horse Horson Welles, and later they find a dog and name him Doglas Adams.
  • Prior to the raid on Fort Mercer, Andy changes John Marston's clothing into a new, smarter costume, leading to this:
  Mike: Are you wearing jeans and a jacket?
  Andy: [Snappish] Yes! What's... wrong with that? It's a... good look.
  Mike: Just sort of... a bit Jeremy Clarkson.
  Andy: No it isn't.
  Mike: [Chuckling] I know exactly how to wind Andy up.
  • Just before resolving the final "American Appetites" mission, an NPC begins to challenge Andy to one of the in-game duels by demanding to see how fast a draw he is. Andy plugs the guy before he's even finished speaking, causing all the other Non Player Characters around to start panicking.
  Mike: Andy!
  Andy: What? He wanted to see how fast I was.
  Mike: That, I, unn — within the bounds of a regulated duel, probably.
  Andy: Ohhhh. Alright, well, let me just pay off this witness.
• Yooka-Laylee Gameplay:
  Now to see team OX's platforming prowess
  Fun fact: We have none
• Cities: Skylines:
  • All the jokes about their dystopian rule over Oxboxford.
  Jane: We hope we can count on your vote in the re-elections! Just kidding. There'll be no elections.
  Andy: It's always something. We want power, we want water, we want to not be murdered by your secret police.
  Jane: Can't we just ship in water from a less corrupt city? All right, you want water, have some water. Sarcastic amounts of water.
  Andy: Why can't we have, like, an Immortan Joe deal, where we just dump it all on their heads once a day?
  Andy: [The city's electricity is] powering all the street lights on our giant vanity road!
  Mike: Put the tourism district next to the nuclear power plant!
  Andy: (On a tweet complaining about how long the fire department took to rescue a cat) Who do you think gave her those trees? Us! You're welcome!
  Jane: Lots of skyscrapers! Make it an affront unto the Lord!
  Mike: Did they not learn the lesson from when we bulldozed the last guys?
  Jane: Shut up, it's a utopia.
  Andy: Call [the hospital]...Dr Andy's Horrortorium.
  Jane: Can't they just burn some corpses for power?
  Mike: (cheerfully) A nice, big, smelly landfill!
  Jane: (on a positive tweet) You may continue living in my utopia.
  Jane: Why is this a crime hotspot?
  Andy: Destroy the house!
  Jane: Nice little smiley tweet. Shall we find her? ...And end her?
  • At the start of the video, the crew set some ground rules for life in Oxboxford.
  Jane: Left-hand traffic, as God intended. Unlimited money, as also God intended. It's going to be your classic Outside Xbox-run utopia.
  Andy: The city we'd escape to, when we're forced to flee the country.
  • Jane takes a moment to apologise to anyone who's actually good at Cities: Skylines.
  • Mike refers to the sewage crisis as "#DyingOfDysentery".
  Mike: Are we picking up water from where we're dumping filthy water?
  Jane: ...Maybe?
  • Law enforcement, OX style:
  Jane: Stop happening, crime!
  • When they demolish a few houses due to the sewage crisis, they're sent a tweet in-game expressing distaste. Naturally, Andy wonders which house belongs to the tweeter.
  • Placing some new residential land:
  Jane: Who wouldn't want to live here? Next to the beach, restaurants, volleyball courts...
  Mike: Sewage pipe...
  • The airport is dubbed the "OXBOX DANGER ZONE".
  • The team naming buildings after themselves is a succession of Black Comedy. The Jane Douglas Institute is banal enough unless one remembers its namesake. Then the Oxboxford hospital is named "Dr Andy's Horrortorium". And finally a crematorium simply named ..."Mike's Grill"
  • The team follows an ambulance transporting a patient when a black sedan pulls up behind the ambulance. They immediately assume it's a hearse from Mike's crematorium, commenting it isn't a good omen for the patient.
  • Needless to say, when they have a go on the PS4 version Luke and Ellen prove to have similarly impressive town-planning skills. To illustrate, at one point their town of “Oxtralia” somehow manages to be flooded and on fire at the same time.
    • Cue the jokes about real-world Australia being a memetic Death World, where that situation would describe an ordinary Monday.
• Slime Rancher, being another wacky management game, results in comparable levels of chaos. It doesn't help that Jane and Andy appear to be going into it blind.
  Jane: I know so little about slime biology... Makes you wonder why I became a slime rancher!
  • As a result, when Jane puts the first captured slimes into a corral:
    Jane: Now breed! Make more slimes!
    Andy: While I watch!
  • A stray slime gets into the chickens' pen and eats them. Jane and Andy heap abuse on it when they find out, while it smiles (rather vacantly) at the player character.
    • Literally minutes later, Jane throws a baby chick to the other slimes. When they won't touch it, she assures it "they'll eat you when you're old enough."
    • After getting a replacement rooster, the whole thing happens again, despite Jane flailing at the controls to try and separate the two animals. This proves to be the last straw.
    Jane: (vacuuming up the corralled slimes) I'm gonna drown you all. (For the record, she does)
  • The Running Gag of Jane and Andy being torn between horror at the slimes' personal habits, and greed for their plorts.
  • Andy notices something in the sky:
    Oh, look at the Aurora Borealis! At this time of year, in this part of the country, located entirely within your slime ranch?
  • As the chaos continues, they imagine giving the bank some bad news.
    Andy: You're gonna have to go back to the bank, and tell them that the slime ranch they gave us a small business loan for has collapsed.
    Jane: "What's that? You didn't make the walls high enough?"
    Andy: "What's that? You let a slime eat all your chickens? That's like Slime Ranching 101, guys."
  • Jane trying to placate the Tarrs by throwing Tabby Slimes at them.
  • "I detest you, slimes."
• Star Trek Bridge Crew:
  • They identify themselves on the VR by screwing around, doing the YMCA, and playing various "air instruments" including guitar, double bass, and flute.
  Mike: We're all gonna die. I'm crying inside my VR headset.
  • When they receive a mission to ensure a transport isn't smuggling invasive species, Luke refers to it as "space koalas getting in the vents".
  • Andy views torpedoes as The All-Solving Hammer, including attempting to shoot them at the message from an admiral telling you that you've completed the Kobayashi Maru.
  • Ellen pretends to be pressing controls in order to look busy.
  • Instead of "Make it so", the USS Oxbox captain's command is "Punch it!"
  • Rescuing people from a damaged ship:
  Luke: Bring them aboard. And set phasers to fun!
  Mike: You promised you wouldn't say it!
  • They go to red alert at one point just to see what it's like. And another time because the "receive transmission" and "red alert" buttons are right next to each other.
  • Tech support in space:
  Luke: Turn their engines off and on again.^note It works.
  • Whenever anything goes wrong, everyone starts yelling and panicking.
  • Luke's Line in the Sand speech needs a little work.
  If anyone's not entirely comfortable with this...go out the airlock or something, I don't really care.
  [later] It'll be seen as an act of war, but I assume we're all cool with that.
  • The end of part 1:
  Luke: Well guys, we started a war and we didn't rescue hardly anyone.
  Andy: Hooray!
  Ellen: Yaaaay.
  Mike: Set a course for the pub!
  • The caption for Part 2 mentions that it has Jane as captain of the Enterprise, and then asks a pertinent question: "Wait, why is everything on fire?"
  • Jane's first order as captain is to "make some noise for 1966!"
  It's like that weird dream where I'm William Shatner!
  • The Enterprise is in safe hands, with the ship taking damage before the mission even began.
  • It takes them several minutes to figure out how to go to warp.
  • There's a lot of complaining about mid-20th-century starship design, including comparisons of the buttons to Jolly Ranchers, the scanners to graph paper and so on.
  • After they destroy a Klingon ship, Jane issues high-fives. This resembles an awkward slap fight more than anything. This happens twice.
  • Chief Engineer Ellen describes the damage done as "holes and burned bits".
  • Mike concludes that the criminal the mining ship is escorting is Khan. Andy immediately does the yell.
  • Jane knows her military terminology.
  Jane: Shoot the stuffing out of them!
  ...
  Mike: Can we ram them?
  Jane: No, we're going to torpedo the heck out of them.
• "Planet of the Apes PSVR Gameplay":
  • The VR controls don't actually allow Flipping the Bird, but Luke is able to give an effective "up yours" gesture to a human guard.
  • Luke's panic when his character falls from the ceiling—especially when his flailing is copied by the on-screen ape hands. Then his controller battery dies on the next attempt.
• KIPPERS, MASTER OF MAGIC:
  • First Kippers attempts to take over Whiterun with an army of giant mudcrabs, with Luke and Ellen singing the Pirates of the Caribbean theme in the background...
    • ...but then gets arrested by a Whiterun guard for killing a chicken with Avada Kedavra earlier. Luke and Ellen opt to have Kippers submit and go to jail.
  Ellen: We've got the gold...
  Luke: No, take me to jail. Kippers is going to do a mudcrab jailbreak!
  (Caption: Kippers is not going to do a mudcrab jailbreak)
  (Caption: Let's find out why getting arrested was a terrible idea)
  • Kippers' first outing, involving the catnip mod, was also hilarious. At one point they decide to test out the combat-boosting power of catnip against a troll. Problem: catnip speeds up time for everyone but your Khajit when freshly taken.
    Luke: Oh no, I made the troll faster! AAAAAAA
    Ellen: [dies laughing as Kippers rolls down the mountain in fast forward]
  • After they download a few house mods for Skyrim, they visit the first house as Ellen gives a standard realtor pitch. She talks about how the place is perfect for wanted criminals to hide from authorities as Kippers walks out of his house...to see a Whiterun guard waiting to arrest Kippers. This leads to the longest Corpsing from Ellen that lasts for several minutes.
• LEGO City Undercover:
  • Luke and Ellen singing "Walkin' on Sunshine" very, very badly in order to avoid a copyright strike.
  • When it goes into co-op, they are forced to use some...nontraditional styles in order to compensate for the police car only having one seat.
    Luke: (standing on the roof) This is a sustainable plan.
  • Ellen gets sidetracked from pursuing the main objective by basketball, while Luke is incredibly charmed by the "whistle and wave badge" control and uses it constantly throughout the mission.
  • This bit speaks for itself:
    Luke: (standing on top of a tow truck spamming the whistle button) I'm the siren!
  • Luke, master detective:
    Luke: I think I can tell which truck is you, Ellen. It's the one smashing everything.
  • Most of the distractions only work for one player, which Luke finds rather irritating.
  • It turns out that the tow truck can tow things.
    Luke: (being towed up a hill) We are solving a crime!
    NPC: You should get to the Red Cafe as soon as you can, Chase!
    Ellen: Yeah, just...one second...doing this first.
    Luke: L-3 is the horn. This is the best police work.
  • The scene transitions:
    After some faffing about...
    After yet more faffing about...
  • It turns out that neither of them are very good at driving Lego cars.
    Ellen: Okay, mine is an open-topped bus now.
    Luke: I got my truck stuck in a gate.
    Ellen: Aw, you broke our car.
  • The not-good-at-driving thing proves especially problematic when they go on a race. At one point they trash each other's cars simultaneously. Another time, Luke jumps into the back of Ellen's commandeered limo in order to cheat.
• Mouse Trap:
  • They get really dramatic about everything, from coming up with backstories to ham-acting towards the end to handing out dramatic emphasis to things like the Crank, the Diver and the "Whirlpool of Death".
  • The official Oxbox motto is stated to be "swallow your rage and carry on" when Andy gets really upset about differently coloured components on the box picture.
  • This bit:
    Luke: The important thing is, we all kept our cool.
    Andy: We're just going to have a little clip here of Luke keeping his cool.
    Luke: (from twenty seconds previously) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • Luke declares himself a "dice whisperer" when he successfully reads a die that had fallen under the sofa with his thumb.
  • Everything involving "Mouse Tipsy", such as Luke declaring that it is "Smash Mouse", prompting Andy to attempt to end the video. He attempts to do so again when they start talking about the Mousetrap being a "pipe dream", which Luke, looking at the second-last piece, amends to a "drainpipe dream".
  • Andy has certain issues with Robinson Goldberg Contraptions.
    I'm sorry, but if you build a mousetrap like this in your house, you are a Serial Killer.
  • Andy also gets very irate that the colour of some of the pieces of the Mouse Trap doesn't match the colours that they are on the box.
  Luke: Explain yourself, MB Games!
  Andy: [Pointing at the laughing child on the box] Is anyone making that face?! [Glowers sullenly into the camera]
  • Deep Game Analysis takes place.
    Andy: Sorry, in terms of the lore...the Diver is an actual human being, yes?
    Ellen & Mike: Yes.
    Andy: Not a statue of a diver.
    Ellen: For scale...(holds the Diver and a mouse next to each other)
    Mike: That mouse is enormous. I can see why they needed the trap!
    Luke: He sort of roughly matches the bath and the lamppost, so think of it as, this (indicates the machinery) is literal, and everything around the side, and the mice, that's metaphorical. So in fact, the mice could represent people...
    [Everyone cracks up]
    Luke: Is it my turn?
    ...
    Andy: Sorry, I need to understand this diver. So, he's a human being who is complicit in this trap. Is he...
    Mike: He's a minimum wage employee.
    Andy: Does he own the house? Is he the person that set it up, and he -
    Mike: No, no, no. He's the help.
    Luke: He's the butler. It's like (adopts posh accent) 'Jeeves, get into your bathing togs, I wish to construct a deadly maze!'
    Andy: There's an ad on Craigslist. 'Open-minded mice'.
    Luke: 'Open-minded man wanted to stand in deadly maze'.
  • Ellen gets so stressed once the Mousetrap is complete that she actually starts squeaking.
  • Andy "announces" his new book of "pro tactics for Mousetrap".
  • "I don't know the word for seven!"
  • Mousetrap is Serious Business you guys.
    Luke: If you roll a five, it's the end for me. And the end for Outside Xtra, because we are NOT working together!
  • The first two times Ellen lands on the cheese, all three of the men adopt the exact same fake Evil Brit accent (a distinct British from their usual one, that is).
    Andy: Yes, that's right, gorge yourself on the cheeeese...
  • Luke is nothing if not honest.
    Ellen: Five seconds ago you were all like, 'if you kill me that's the end of the channel'...
    Luke: Yes, but what's different is, that was me...
  • Ellen ends up landing on the cheese so many times that even the Evil Brit versions of Luke, Mike and Andy get exasperated.
  Luke: Ellen, can you leave the cheese alone for just one minute?!
  Andy: Do you yearn for death?
  • The trap fails on its first use. Twice - once from the crank not working the stop sign properly, once because a component was put on the wrong way around.
    Mike: Even though I placed that piece, we're all equally guilty of not spotting it.
  • The bad cheese puns. Even Andy "BOOOOOO" Farrant takes a turn.
  Luke: You should tread very...Caerphilly?
  Andy: Please, I Camembert it any more!
  Mike: Brie reasonable!
  • "The puns are as delicious as the cheeeeeeese!"
  • Eventually, Andy rolls a 5 to land on the Crank while Luke is on the cheese.
    Andy: This brings me no joy.
    Mike: It brings him a lot of joy, look at that face.
• Goat Simulator:
  • Mike and Andy decide to settle their differences like gentlemen by Goat Ro Dah-ing each other off the top of a Ferris wheel.
  • Andy on the prowl:
    Andy: Nice shop, Webers. Be a shame if someone were to RAGDOLL A GOAT...through the window...
    [Goat gets stuck]
    I said, ragdoll a goat through the [goat collapses at the foot of the window] aw, Jesus...
    I said, ragdoll a...[chuckling] goat through the window...[laughs]
  • Oxbox's war on hotels continues!
    Andy: I can't wait to read the Tripadvisor reviews. "Nice hotel, bit of a goat problem..."
  • Andy discovers that whoever kills deadmau5 takes his place!
    Andy: And in entertainment news today, electronic dance musician deadmau5 died in a tragic goat accident.
  • Goat Ro Dah targeting is somewhat unreliable.
    Mike: The main person you're Fus-Ro-Dah-ing is me...[is flung off the roof] Oh, there I go. I'll see if I can find deadmau5.
  • The entire digression on goats riding bikes.
    Mike: I've seen a vision of our harrowing future, and it is a goat winning the Tour de France.
  • Mike finds a dead goat in a swimming pool. This is tragic and poignant for about five seconds, and then Mike gives it a burial at sea. With Fus Ro Dah.
• Overcooked:
  • Luke, Ellen, Jane and Andy all team up in the Festive Seasoning DLC to make a carrot-onion-potato stew. It goes well.
    Luke: How do you think we did, guys? I'm going to say well? Super well. I've got my Michelin star—minus 34?!
    Andy: Guys, I think Ellen [just] stabbed me.
• ARMS Gameplay:
  • Luke is nothing if not honest about their philosophy.
    Why did the search ever go beyond the one that has a robot dog?
  • After selecting robotic police officer and pet Byte and Barq, Ellen starts humming the theme to The Bill. They then realise that many of their American viewers won't know what that is, so Luke compares it to CASUAL+Y...which, as Ellen points out, has exactly the same problem.
  • The dog is a consistent problem for Luke, who keeps being distracted by it and tries to arrange his punches so they don't hit the dog.
  • After Ellen does a victory dance, Luke decides that they should dance off opposite sides of the screen.
• Need for Speed Payback:
  • An unintentional one: YouTube's algorithms have pegged the video as being about Burnout Takedown, because the title includes the phrase "BURNOUT TAKEDOWNS!" Might need a little more work on that, YouTube.
  • Repeated references to the Fast & Furious franchise.
  • Andy takes the role of Overthinker, questioning things like why they're doing twice the speed limit or why the car they're stealing explodes out of the back of the truck.
  • Andy has exactly one way to rate racing games: does it have Burnout takedowns? If yes: it is a good racing game.
  • When told to take out House enforcers, they speculate briefly on which house: Gryffindor, Slytherin, Lannister, Targaryen...
  • They run into some barrels:
    Andy: Look out for the Exploding Barrels!
    Mike: I didn't know they were exploding!
    Andy: Of course! They're barrels in a videogame. What are they gonna do?
    Mike: Good point.
  • Mike's focus on the chase is somewhat compromised:
    Andy: Stop looking at the renewable energy, you're in the middle of an exciting high-speed chase! ...Slash heist.
    ...
    Mike: Look at the tumbleweed! It's so realistic.
    ...
    Mike: (after a takedown) Did you see the nice blue brake calipers on that BMW X-6?
    Andy: No, of course not, why would I see that? Why would anyone see that? Why do you see that, you weirdo?
  • A brief duel of bad puns:
    Andy: Nice. Nicetrous.
    Mike: (after a particularly nasty takedown) Don't flip out, buddy! ...Sorry, that was an Ellen-grade pun.
  • Andy does not know cars. At one point, he delivers the word "Koenigsegg" as though he's talking about the egg of a Koenig. He is then somewhat annoyed that it looks less like an egg and more like Robocop.
  • In vehicle customisation, Mike attempts to make as ugly a Volkswagen Beetle as possible, while Andy won't shut up about underlighting. Andy doesn't get his underlighting, but Mike does create a truly hideous vehicle with clashing colours, two spoilers and so much camber and so little height it looks like an elephant has sat on it.
• Friday the 13th: The Game
  • Jane tries to run away from Jason...by running into the cabin Andy's in. Naturally, Andy's less than amused especially since Jason kills him instead of Jane.
  • After Jane as Jason kills Andy, she decides to celebrate by dancing. Or more accurately, getting Jason to spin around in place
  • When Mike as Jason goes after Jane, her brilliant plan is to kite him around some fences, leading to this brilliant line from Mike.
    'Mike: Stop this nonsense.
• Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning:
  • The gnomes' Scottish accents are the subject of certain critique.
    Luke: I think he's from the region of Scotland called "America".
  • Ellen gets really into it. No, more into it than that. She sounds on the verge of a Nerdgasm when talking about the level-up system.
  • "Hi, fishy! Be my friend!"
  • "He looks like a gnome, but he's a mole!"
  • Discussing the life of Fomorous Hugues.
    Ellen: What makes you think he's dead?
    Luke: Because he's an idiot.
  • Reckoning Mode prompts Luke to say they "came in like a reckoning ball".
  • "Delicious XP. Omnomnom."
  • Ellen proclaims a heavily armoured cow to be harmless. Luke says it looks like Ganondorf. It turns out that "harmless" was overselling it a bit when it kicks them.
  • Some good arguments from both parties.
    • First when talking about the gnomes:
  Ellen: They brought you to life.
  Luke: They played God, they're villains.

  • Then when encounter a sister preaching in the street:

  Ellen: I trust her, her name's Sister Zelda!
  Luke: I don't trust anyone who's standing in the street screaming about monks.
  • They stumble on a weird bug where the last thing anyone said to them hovers in the subtitles for a while.
• Steep Bell Ring Wingsuit Challenge gets off to a slow start because they go about ten feet per jump for a while. Then Ellen goes the wrong way. Then Luke crashes. Then Mike crashes.
• Sea of Thieves: Set Sail for Adventure with Cap'n Andy!
  • Andy appoints himself captain and spends all his time in the cabin drinking rum while Luke and Ellen do all the work.
    Ellen: Andy, are you gonna help us?
    Andy: What are you doing in my office?
    Ellen: Are you gonna help us?
    Andy: Get out of my office! Knock, and then come in.
    [Ellen huffs indignantly and her character leaves the cabin]
    Ellen: Knock. Knock.
    Andy: Come in Bosun Ellen. What can I help you with?
    Ellen: Can you come and help us sail the ship?
    Andy: Well, I'm the captain, so I'm supposed to delegate.
  • This causes a bit of an argument, which Luke spies an opening to exploit:
    Andy: I dunno if you saw my schedule; 7 to 8pm is grog time.
    Ellen: Well, it's 9pm now, Andy.
    Andy: Fine! Alright, fine! I'm coming out! Fine, I'm gonna help!
    Luke: Captain?
    Andy: What is it? God, this is the neediest crew I've ever been affiliated with. What is the problem?
    Luke: Captain, I just want you to know that I've always respected your grog time and I respect your leadership.
    Ellen: Aw, you are such a suck-up!
    Andy: Good! See, Bosun Ellen? You can learn a lot from... Helmsman Westaway.
    Luke: I'll make midshipman at this rate!
    Andy: Actually, I'm promoting you to first mate.
    Ellen: Aww, mate! What?!
• Forza 7: We Drive Elton John's Car:
  • At one point, Mike expresses disbelief that anyone ever buys cars like the Jaguar XJ220 (the "Elton John's Car" in the title) for road use, because they're just so ludicrously powerful and must be a nightmare to operate.
  Andy: Elton John is the Jaguar XJ220 of people, though.
  Mike: I suppose, yeah.
  Andy: He's like a sleek, overpowered machine.
  Mike: [laughs] Those are not words I would have necessarily used to describe Elton John. But he is an excellent musician.
  Andy: A sleek, overpowered musician.
  • Andy trolls Mike by making him drive a silver Ferrari F-158 F1 with shark eyes and teeth drawn on the front.
  Andy: That's the traditional Ferrari livery, the shark...you say 'Ferrari' and people's minds immediately go to 'shark car'.
  Mike: No they don't!
  Andy: Yeah they do.
  Mike: They go to rosso corsa! Those amazing, evocative reds.
  Andy: What...? I dunno what you're talking about.
  Mike: Unbelievable...
  Andy: I think Mike's had a stroke... he's saying weird stuff...
  • Andy then points out the hypocrisy of Mike griping about racing in a car with silly paintwork when he's designed his driver to wear a ludicrously garish pink and blue driving suit:
  Mike: I'm willing to make myself look ridiculous, I just don't want to make the car look ridiculous.
• Pixar Rush: Finding Dory: They spend their time in-game being outrun by canon characters, including Dory herself.
  Andy: DAMN YOU, ELLEN DEGENERES!
• Middle-earth: Shadow of War: Jane gets very intense about listening to the backstory.
  Mike: This place looks nice. Can't we just live here?
  Jane: Shh. Listening to story now.
  Andy: You know what the story is. The—
  Jane: Shhhh.
  Andy: ... fictional—
  Jane: Shhhhhhh...
  Andy: elves of...
  Jane: Shh. Swear to God, Andy. This is important.
  • She then quickly drops it when Mike points out that the story bits were already in the trailer.
• FIFA 17 Story Campaign: The beginning of the story mode is set at a junior football league game the protagonist is playing in as a child, and at one point he gets a penalty. Mike and Andy set it up as a major power kick that he'll absolutely bury into the back of the net... only to proceed to do the most hilariously wimpy penalty kick ever seen. To the extent that after the Time Skip to when the protagonist is beginning his career as a pro, Mike and Andy act as if the other characters still keep bringing up his ludicrously terrible childhood penalty.
• Breath of the Wild:
  • Funny in a dark way, but in "Trial of the Sword—CHUCHU-MAGEDDON," Ellen alerts a sentry, who blows his horn... not realizing that she's already killed all his colleagues.
    • A few levels later, a slightly more attentive sentry leads to a Zerg Rush and a game over.
    Luke: I wonder if we have to start from the beginning.
    (Smash Cut to a screen reading "We do!")
    • Ellen hands Luke the controller, and it's not long before he's jumping up and down to attract a Moblin, then taunting it after taking its spear. Remarkably (see the "Livestreams" folder), he gets away with it, but then he completely botches an attack on the remaining enemies' skull-fort.
    • In the next level, Ellen gets to fight a Talus. She is provided with several Exploding Barrels, but they turn out to be Schmuck Bait: Link can't throw them farther than the radius of the explosion.
  • In the "Last Three Shrines" video, Luke and Ellen break down upon meeting Kheel the baby Rito.
    • When they're trying to get Kheel's sisters together for a singing rehearsal, one of them insists on a snack first.
    Cree: She said she won't sing until she's eaten.
    Luke: Link, you must eat all these children! Get them in the cooking pot; only then will the final shrine open. How bad do you want it, Link?
    • The seeds are planted for the Untitled Goose Game incident.
    Luke and Ellen: (random singing/honking noises)
    Luke: We should make a bird band!
    • Inside the final shrine, Link ends up trapped in a small room with nothing in it but a switch.
    Ellen: Well!
    Luke: Okay, well—the obvious thing to do here... (hits the switch)
    (floor opens up and drops Link into a big room full of lava)
    Luke and Ellen: AAAAAA— (bloop)
• Overwatch Halloween 2016: Jane reminds Mike as Soldier: 76 that he can heal. Mike is absolutely baffled by this revelation. Then, in the world's most nonchalant voice...
  Mike: Oh yeah, RB. Fancy that.
  Jane and Andy: [dies]
• Overwatch Halloween 2017:
  • Andy delivers this devastating burn to the villain of the piece:
  Andy: Why doesn't he just... sod off?
  • Jane seemingly doesn't know Ana can heal her teammates by shooting them. This crosses into Hypocritical Humor considering she spends a lot of time reminding Mike that Soldier: 76 can heal in reference to last year's fiasco.
• Super Mario Odyssey Minigames: MARIO ODYSSEY-ATHLON: The two Xtra leads are competing in each minigame they attempt. When Ellen has to deal with a more difficult challenge in the "reassemble a picture of Mario's face" minigame because Luke won the first round on his turn, and manages a two-point victory anyway, Ellen immediately becomes completely incoherent with joy for several seconds.
• Mike and Andy play the Not a Hero DLC for Resident Evil 7 and repeatedly note Chris Redfield is "not a hero", he's just a professional. A professional who has a Heroic Build, rappels down from a helicopter, makes last-second escapes from danger and other definitely not heroic things.

• Starpoint Gemini Warlords:
  • The Ox Box crew are very devoted to Exul Harcrow, captain of the Icarus, in large part due to his cool name.
  Andy: [On being informed that locating Exul Harcrow from the wreckage of the Icarus is a priority] You don't have to tell us, mate.
• Kerbal Space Program:
  Jane: I think your rocket won't launch because it's got no brains [no control module]. It's just a heap of dynamite on the launch pad.
  Mike: External command module?
  Jane: I couldn't fix that rocket Mike, I can't even begin to tell you what's wrong with it, aside from the obvious visual problems...
  Jane: Oh, it's a family! It's an entire family of Kerbal astronauts... (They don't make it back. Mike shot them out of the Solar System and they catch fire on re-entry nearly a hundred years later).
  Jane: Pilots love that stuff. Only the engineer and scientist can appreciate how doomed they are. Because, you haven't fitted any sort of recovery vehicle. How are they getting back to Earth?
  Mike: Well, I haven't told them about that yet...
  • When handing control over to Jane after his... explosive attempt, Mike snarkily brings up Jane's "degrees in this sort of thing" as a reason for any advantage over him. Jane snaps back that it's actually because she simply played the tutorial.
• Battlefield 1:
  Jane: I just got fully cannoned in the face by a tank... Oh, but the medic's brought me back! [beat]. That's an incredibly talented medic, if he can save me from a tank shelling.
• Train Sim World: Founder's Edition:
  • Andy is not thrilled by Mike's first choice of mission, which involves delays on the London-Reading line at Christmas due to engineering works at Paddington Station.
  Andy: No, come on, this is the most boring...
  Jane: People have got to get home for Christmas!
  Mike: Look, Andy! It's the glittering streets of Slough!
  Andy: [Reading the subtitles] Paddington's been closed due to enginnnnnnnuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh...
  • Mere moments after gloating about what an awesome driver he is, Mike manages to lock himself out of his own train. While it's moving, very slowly, away from the platform.
  • And then in the next mission, which requires him to first commute by train to reach London Paddington in order to begin, he then somehow manages to fall out of the train. Mike Channell: Pride of Great Western Railway.
  Andy: You had one job!
  • After choosing the "Westworld" map (which, in the game, actually involves driving a passenger train from London Paddington to the west counties), Andy keeps breaking into Fauxlosophic Narration about the nature of humanity, Westworld-style.
  • The team clearly do not consider Train Simulator to be one of the more exciting games they've ever played.
  Andy: "Let's play Train Simulator," says Mike.
  Jane: "It'll be fun! You all like trains." And we're like "No, Mike, we hate trains."
  • Upon (finally) reaching London Paddington, the crew spend several minutes trying to find all the cafes and shops that they recognise from the actual station. Upon seeing that the developers have faithfully included the Upper Crust that can be found there, the team sound more excited than we've heard them throughout the entire rest of the game.
  Mike: This is the greatest deployment of Unreal Engine 4 that I've ever seen.
• The Elder Scrolls Online
  • Luke and Mike is probably not a great pair to play games as Mike is the one person who is all too happy to comply with Luke's suggestions.
  Luke: [after Mike attacks a rude NPC upon Luke's suggestion] The thing is I always do Let's Plays with Ellen, Andy, or Jane and they never ever do what I suggest because they're bad ideas.
• A Way Out has Andy (playing Leo) and Jane (playing Vincent).
  • While driving the car, Jane asks if Andy is killing police officers. Andy, while shotgunning them through their windshields, returns with the worst case of Brutal Honesty, until Jane requests Andy to lie to her.
  Andy:"They're fine! They're going away to live on a farm where they can play and arrest people all day"
  • While playing basketball, Andy turns the normally heartwarming idea of a man playing basketball with his young son into trolling the kid's lack of zone defense.
  • Andy's idea of interrogation is to shoot a man five times in the spine.
  • While chasing a man through a construction site, Jane decides to play the Yackety Sax to mimic the Scooby-Doo chase scenes.
  • When the camera cuts to Carol going into labor.
  Andy: The baby's trying to find A Way Out.
  • When trying to make change, Jane goes to a newsstand to break some of her bills, and asks the stand owner what he would recommend.
  Jane: This guy's offering me porn!
  Andy: All right!
• Sea of Thieves
  Jane: There'd better be damned chickens on Chicken Isle. It's not just a name...
  Smash Cut to Andy: You're telling me there are no chickens on Chicken Island.
  Jane: AH! Skeleton! There's skeletons on Chicken Isle!
  Andy: It was a trap!
• The description of their play of Dishonored DLC:
  Andy takes the stealthy route, Jane kills when necessary and Mike is a whirling tornado of clumsy murder.
• Dishonored 2
  • This line from Andy in the Clockwork Mansion:
  Andy: We're gonna try a couple of different ways at this level. I'm going to be playing the correct way, that is stealthily and nonlethally. Mike will be doing what Mike usually does, which involves a massive body count and lots of explosions.
  • Mike being very dedicated to killing the target by throwing a highly flammable bottle of whale oil at his face. After carrying it (with a great deal of effort) to the confrontation with him, Mike finds more or less a pile of them right there.
  • Andy using the Heart to read some unconscious people's memories. While he still refuses to kill them, when their memories turn out to be pretty vile (one having murdered a servant and got away with it, and the other forcing a dog into a dog fight where it got torn to shreds), he power bombs them into a bookcase.
  Andy: The Heart approves! Thank you, heart of my dead mother that I'm carrying around for...some reason.
  • Both of them remarking that the guy they've come to save had pressure plates to lower the walls keeping him trapped the entire time.
  • Andy using 'smoke monster' as a verb.
  Andy: I'm going to resmoke monster and then back. And then smoke monster you (rips apart robot). See now the one thing you didn't plan for, Jindosh, was smoke monsters.
• Dishonored: Death of the Outsider
  • Jane and Andy seem unusually enthusiastic about one of Billie's powers being the ability to steal a person's face and use it at every opportunity.
  • The group land right besides a person...who doesn't acknowledge them at all, despite a wanted poster of their character directly behind them.
  Andy: He's not very observant. Hence why this is happening (steals his face).
• Unravel 2 Co-op play:
  • Andy and Mike note with amusement that the opening the game, involving Yarny somewhat-improbably piloting a boat towards an island with a lighthouse, calls to mind the opening of Bioshock. Which leads Andy to this explosive revelation:
  Andy: Oh my God! Mike. Andrew Ryan is an anagram of Andrew YARN.
  [Mike cracks up]
  Andy: This thing goes deeper than we could have ever imagined!
• Let's Play No Man's Sky Next on Xbox One
  • Jane is less than impressed by the loose ways antimatter is handled.
  Jane: Even Dan Brown knew [antimatter] had to be in a vacuum in that dumb book about antimatter!
• Just Cause 4 Gameplay: EXTREME FUNFAIR, ROCKET COWS, TORNADO CHAOS - "They're fine":
  • You did read that title, right?
  • Their experiments at improving a funfair with rockets and grappling hooks. The Ferris wheel poses certain issues, however, because when a rocket is applied to an individual cart, it just spins wildly in place rather than speeding up the rotation.
    Luke: (looking at the corpse of their first experimental subject, dangling from a Ferris wheel cart) Yeah, she's fine.
  • Luke wondering how many rockets he can apply to the Ferris wheel struts in order to avoid "half measures" manages to provoke muffled laughter from someone offscreen, something that usually doesn't happen in Oxbox/Oxtra gameplay videos.
  • While Rico is on a jet-propelled carnival ride, Ellen comes to a valuable conclusion:
    Ellen: Can't do this in GTA.
  • "Ponies! Let's put rockets on their butts!" - Luke Westaway, upon spotting a carousel
  • Luke then proclaims the rocket carousel to be a "good ride", even though there is clearly a corpse sitting right in front of it.
  • Luke on morality:
    Luke: Ellen, [steals someone's motorbike] don't ever doubt that we're the good guys.
  • At a couple of points Ellen's Corpsing begins to move into pitches that only dogs and bats can hear.
  • After a while spent rigging up the stolen bike with balloons and rockets, Rico spends more time ragdolling down to the ocean than he actually does flying it.
  • Luke's balloon arrangement on a stolen car apparently "feels tactical".
  • "This game is all about nuance, Ellen." (spins car in midair)
  • When they find a way to frisbee the car through the air, Luke pops the balloons and spins it to the ground. Amazingly, it doesn't explode on contact.
  • "There's cows!" "COWS?!"
  • Just...why?
    Luke: (watching a cow spinning wildly through the air, laughing so hard he can barely speak clearly) We're heroes of the revolution.
  • "[Blowing shit up] takes a little while in these games, because they're very realistic, they're not like Hollywood films" - Ellen Rose, world champion liar
  • Luke keeps attempting to ride on things that are about to explode.
  • They attempt to send an alpaca to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism.
  • After hijacking a blimp and sticking rockets to the side, they take a moment to admire the Scenery Porn while the blimp is listing dangerously to one side.
  • Upon finding some destructible barrels, Luke wonders if there's a cow around that he can attach them to.
• The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part:
  • We open with a very on-topic slap fight between their two Emmets, followed by Luke randomly attacking people and cars "for the greater good".
  • Luke can't remember much of the movie, so he refers to Lucy/Wyldstyle as "Nightwing", "Night Fury", "Switchblade", "Nightstar", "Luckdragon" and a bunch of other stuff that sounds like either rejected Warrior Cats names or accepted 90s comic character names. When he comes up with "Switchblade" it actually erases the name "Wyldstyle" from Ellen's brain as well!
  • Luke tries the jumping platform:
    Luke: Nothing stops Switchblade! Hyah! [misses]
  • When he does get up and Ellen is trying to get up, Luke keeps posing for the camera as though Lucy is taking a selfie with another Lucy bouncing in the background.
  • The free-roam Wasteland makes them realise this part is Lego Fallout, and Ellen speculates on Lego power armour.
  • "Buttslam! Buttslam! I'm helping! Buttslam!" - Luke Westaway
  • When they get the Ultrakatty, Ellen proclaims it "everything [she's] ever dreamed of".
  • Luke gets a generator blueprint and just slaps it in a random place rather than the clearly marked outline.
  • Ultrakatty has not helped with Luke's burgeoning teamkill tendencies.
    Luke: Yeah, you better run, civilians!
  • Luke gets a bit lost.
    Luke: I completely understand what we're doing, but please explain for the viewers at home.
  • It's important to be proud of your accomplishments.
    Luke: I'm doing it Ellen! I'm platforming!
  • Ellen roleplays.
    Ellen: I'm choosing to build from an awkward angle, because that's Emmet, really.
  • Luke manages to identify a green thing that's sucking the clouds out of the sky as "an elephant".
  • Ellen is concerned that the sprinkler is used for a specific fire because it looks like an electrical fire, which you shouldn't put out with water.
  • Luke compares the Colossus Climb to "like Shadow of the Colossus except we're goodies".
• Team Sonic Racing:
  • Luke has apparently not taken in much Boom-era Sonic, so there's a bit of a digression on the Roger Craig Smith Sonic voice being insufficiently radical.
  • Luke delivers a PSA:
    Luke: Kids, if a stranger ever tells you, 'Get in my spaceship, and we'll go to Planet'-[Big the Cat appears onscreen] WHAT THE HELL?!
  • Big the Cat's design causes discussion to go weird places.
    Ellen: He's like Donald Duck; they're related, so-
    Luke: There's an honesty to Donald Duck; he doesn't want to wear trousers, and so he doesn't. But Big...what's the belt holding up?
  • Their attempt to figure out the controls leaves Luke sitting on the starting line for several seconds.
  • The in-game chatter is interesting:
    Ellen: Did Sonic just say 'don't text and drive'?
    Luke: Well, you shouldn't!
    ...
    Luke: "Make way or I'll make it for you" is quite a good line.
  • Luke finds his new favourite place.
    Luke: Oh my God, Whale Lagoon.
  • Luke's utter failure to sell world-weariness.
    Luke: It's easy for you, with your strong acceleration. But me, Knuckles, I'm a Power type - YEAH WHALES!
  • Ellen spends a lot of the video communicating in expressive but incoherent messages, resembling a cross between baby-talk and panicking. Particularly when she falls off, which happens frequently.
  • Luke occasionally insists that Sonic should just get out of the car and beat everyone on foot.
  • Luke is punished for his hubris:
    Luke: Now to win the race easily woo! Oh no I drove off the side! Aaaaaagh no I got sawed in half!
  • When Knuckles yells "Not as planned!" out of nowhere, Luke mentions that that's just what life is like for Knuckles.
  • Luke tries for a Theme Music Power-Up by singing about "running around at the speed of sound" at critical moments.
  • Ellen is punished for her hubris.
    Ellen: Eat my dust, Big - OH NO! [falls off track]
  • Sonic, while bouncing, goes "Haha, boing!" This prompts Ellen to almost die laughing.
  • Luke decides not to play in multiplayer as Eggman on the robust grounds that "his car looks daft".
• Resident Evil 8 Village: VAMPIRE LADY ESCAPE ROOM
  • The Seinfeldian discussion over whether or not to include "8" in the title, because of how the Roman numeral VIII is incorporated into the word "Village."
  • The team find a scribbled note hidden in the basement.
    Mike: A doctor's note! The handwriting is atrocious.
    Jane: It says, "Chris Redfield is excused from Resident Evil; he's not feeling very well..."
    Andy: "Chris Redfield is too wide to play sports"... That is not words!
    Jane: Is it mirror writing?
  • The Running Gag of speculating that the vampires are merely operating a well-intentioned, but very unhygienic health spa and/or BDSM dungeon. Each new discovery of torture implements or victims' remains spawns a few more jokes.
  • Upon finding a very... macabre storage room:
    Jane: This is just sort of the storeroom where you put everything. You know one of those rooms where you chuck everything you don't need anymore: barrels, baskets, skeletons, blood...
    Andy: "Oh, that room isn't for skeletons!" "No, I'm only temporarily putting the skeletons and blood in there!"
    Mike: But then the skeletons are still there four years later.
  • Item: a large bucket full of blood, with an "Examine" prompt hovering over it.
    Mike: Might be Ribena,^note a brand of blackcurrant soda Andy! Might be borscht!
  • Jane's loyalties become clear:
    Jane: Finally, Umbrella has done something useful and made a virus that creates sexy vampires! Something for the shareholders.
    • Later:
    Vampire: (dissolves into a swarm of insects)
    Andy: (genuinely disturbed) Oh my god!
    Jane: Make me like you! I want to do that!
  • And of course, when Lady Dimitrescu finally shows up:
    Everyone: (yelps as she opens the courtyard doors from the other side)
    Andy: Oh my gosh, she's so tall!
    Jane: Oh my God, step on me.
    (Dimitrescu kills the player character, credits roll)
    Jane: Oh, a 'visual showcase'? Is that what we're calling it now?
    Mike: She was indeed a visual showcase!
  • Jane idly wonders, "Has anyone [in real life] turned a castle into a series of escape rooms?" Youtube commenters respond:
    Yes, Henry VIII.
    I believe it's officially called Henry Village.
• When playing the actual game rather than the demo:
  • Andy falls into the basement, which is knee high in blood. Mike wonders if the Dimitrescu family simply has too much, but Andy points out that loose blood isn't tasty: He likes diet soda, but he's not going to fill his basement with loose soda.
  • Jane isn't present when Lady Dimitrescu is killed, and when she (Jane) comes back for the next episode, she asks where she (Lady D) is. Mike and Andy, with all the grace of a parent avoiding telling a child the family dog is dead, handle it "well."
    Jane: Oh—what have you done?
    Mike: Don't ask where we got it, Jane.
    Andy: That's just a nice statue that she had—
    Jane: Where did you get that giant crystal vampire lady from?
    Andy: Found it.
  • Jane and Mike arguing over who has to pay into the "Dark Souls Comparison Swear Jar."
  • Andy's general unnervedness about the spooky doll house, culminating in him going into hiding cupboards for a few minutes each time he does something spooky.
  Andy: Ugh, it's full of dolls.
  Jane: Yeah, they get in the insulation, just turn around.
  • Jane and Mike, meanwhile, are all into this.
  Mike: Open that boob, Andy.
  • When Andy meets the Advancing Wall of Doom boss, he immediately devolves into panic swearing and running for hiding cupboards.
  Andy: What the hell was that!
  Mike: Exactly what it looked like.
  Jane: It's a big fetus, Andy, it's pretty obvious.
  • During the final confrontation with Angie.
  Jane: Wow, that's a lot of blood in that doll.
  Mike: Well, they make dolls that wee themselves.
  Andy: Yeah, it's the new Christmas toy, Baby Bleeds-A-Lot.
  Jane: That's the worst thing you've ever said.
  • When the PoV changes to Chris, Andy and Jane joke about how its turned into Call of Duty.
• Wrong Controller Challenge:
  • Andy starts out by talking about how he's obviously going to do brilliantly because he's so good at Guitar Hero, only to learn that they aren't playing Guitar Hero.
    Andy: You have a Guitar Hero controller, Mike, I don't understand.
    Mike: Yes, but Guitar Hero doesn't exist any more-
    Andy: Not to you, maybe.
    Mike: - whereas this (raises controller) very much exists and is taking up a lot of space in my house.
  • Mike is bizarrely cheerful when he says that Dark Souls III is a very hard game, and is going to be a lot harder with a Guitar Hero controller.
  • During the Hot Wheels portion, Andy goes on a confusing ramble about how all the songs are already in a guitar and you just need to get them out, apparently in an effort to distract Mike.
  • While playing Sonic The Hedgehog, Jane develops a serious rivalry with one specific robo-crab.
  • Mike is very realistic about how well DSIII is going to work: the prize isn't for winning, it's just for surviving Iudex Gundyr the longest. Andy eventually decides to base his second attempt around just running away from Gundyr for as long as possible, eventually declaring himself "the King of Dark Souls".
    Mike: And all it cost was your dignity.
  • In Andy's third attempt, he tries to actually fight Gundyr, culminating in him being grabbed, impaled, and hurled off the cliff.
  • Despite Jane's general lack of experience both with the Guitar Hero controller and with Dark Souls, she still does better than Soulsborne veteran Mike's best run.
• Ellen vs Luke Switch Bowling:
  • There's no audio from Ellen and Luke, so Jon's "friend" Barry Sportington provides hammy commentary.
    Oooh, and he's—the character has dropped the ball right on his foot! Will he be able to carry on?
• We Sell Cursed Antiques to Each Other in Junktopia:
  • Mike dubs the game's premise, in which a wizard turns the players into frogs and forces them to sell strange antiques in order to be changed back, "capitalism's final form."
  • When Luke questions why the wizard has a mini-disc, Mike launches into a diatribe as to why it's the superior audio format.
  • Creepy Doll Jebediah the Unquiet's previous owners "have all lived long healthy lives, don't worry about it."
  • After some discussion of Aluminium Man's cleavage, which Mike insists are arc reactors, he mentions that the toy has "the cold dead eyes of a killer."
    Andy: His cold dead eyes of a killer are up here, thank you.
  • Luke's first item is a statue of Corazon Resplendent, which depicts Corazon moments before his death. Which is revealed to be from butt wounds sustained from slipping on a cabbage.
  • Jane dubs her second item the "Flanging Spranket" and then has trouble remembering whether it flanges or spranks, and whether it might be a spranging flanket instead, and so on. It can also release the devil.
    Luke: Is it a kind of flange or a kind of spranket?
    Jane: Yes.
  • Andy's answer to Elf on the Shelf is "Santa from Atlanta", which will tell you facts about Atlanta. He then doesn't even get a chance to give his full speech for Santa from Atlanta because the game speeds him past it. Ah, beta testing...
    Andy: This seems to have launched into the presentation without - whoa, God. Okay, fine, bye then!
  • Ellen has a large masquerade mask which she says is perfect for parties because it can hold all of the tinctures and scalpels you need.
    Mike: Why do you need scalpels at a party?
  • Luke's puns for the "Ocarina of T-Eye-M" prompt even Ellen to wince.
  • The chorus of groans when Mike presents an old-timey rugby ball as "The World's First Ever Suppository." Then the second chorus of groans when he says the stitching on the side is "for grip".
• "A Bloodborne Game About Pinocchio Should Not Be This Fun": Luke and Ellen play the demo for Lies of P.
  • Immediately after starting the video:
    Luke: Perhaps the worst-named, yet most intriguing game.
    Ellen: I can think of many Lies of P. Such as "Yes, it should be that colour."
  • Luke takes a moment to examine some of the items he's collected.
    Luke: (regarding the Last Resort) Ooh, "immediate character death upon use. Releases all of the P-Organ's energy—" (dies)
    Ellen: "The P-Organ"?! I mean...
    Luke: (laughs harder)
• We Cleaned Lara Croft's House for $400 It Took Ages:
  • Andy scrawling "Eat the rich" on the side of Croft Manor with his power-washer.
  • When the job is three-quarters finished and Lara hasn't come out to check on the crew, they start worrying that they're at the wrong house and won't get paid for cleaning it.
• "Hilarious Skyrim Mods: Batman vs Magnets vs Godzilla": This episode appears to serve as one last hurrah for both Luke and Kippers, so they pull out all the stops.
  • One of the mods they test out is called "Actor Magnet," which causes NPCs in the area to gravitate towards the player character. Trying it out around Whiterun results in Kippers running around in the middle of an orbiting Flesh Katamari of people and livestock.
  • Luke spots a dragon in the distance, and decides to test the magnet mod on it.
    Luke: Ah, this isn't a dragon. This is a clumsily animated Rodan from Godzilla. I forgot I had this mod enabled—
    Ellen: (dies) ...I know the Skyrim dragons are a little bit janky.
    (Rodan freezes in midair)
    Luke: Nothing janky about this! Look, it's operating perfectly normally.

Let's Play - GTA V Heists

• Humane Labs:
• Part one:
  • The crew pointing out how they're all mute in the cutscenes, and joke about how they all communicate telepathically.
• Part Two:
  • The many times the intern "Exonebular" screws up, and inevitably gets them all killed.
  • Mike keeps calling their contractor; "Agent 14", Benedict Cumberbatch, despite Agent 14 looking almost nothing like him.
• Part Three:
  • Mike and Andy get briefly distracted by Los Santos when they're in the boat:
  Andy: Oh, sorry Jane, I was just appreciating the beauty of nature.
  • Jane suggests some stealth on the Hangar, when a Gilligan Cut happens to Jane firing on people who spotted her.
  • Jane makes the realisation that planes are actually quite hard to drive:
  Jane: It doesn't drive like a car at all!
  • Andy singing Danger Zone while flying the fighter jet.
  Andy: It's a bit too dangerous in the danger zone.
  • Mike crashing the jet:
  Mike: Bollocks!
  Andy: No, what happened?
  Mike: I was trying to land!
  Jane: Oh boy
  Mike: ...and it didn't work.
  Andy: What do you mean it didn't work!? It's a VTOL!
  Mike: The VTOL thing didn't work!
  Mike: Bugger, sorry!
  • Jane manages to crash the fighter jet on the carrier.
  • Jane managed to accidentally bail out of her plane and somehow managed to hit her plane on the way down.
  Jane: Oh no! I bailed out. But..hit my..plane on the way down...
  Mike: Oh..that's-
  Andy: -You hit your plane on the way down! (laughs maniacally)
  Mike: That's what happened to Goose isn't it?
  Andy: That is basically what happened to Goose, yeah.
  • Jane then makes the decision to not fly a plane while Mike attempts to land the Hydra.
  • Jane attempting to take off in a fighter jet in front of Mike:
  Jane: The eagle is away...uh, no wait it's not!, it's back on the deck! The eagle is down...the eagle is up!
  • Mike and Andy doing plane steward impressions while landing the Hydra.
• Part four:
  • Jane saying "It's all fine" multiple times to motivate her through the heist.
  • Mike and Andy have a brief kerfuffle on what the plan should be to get the helicopter:
  Andy: Mike, what were you doing at the helicopter, the plan was to move up slowly, we're taking it sensibly.
  Mike: ....No.
  Andy: (starts laughing)... er, No. Ok, good counter-plan.
  • The crew taking out Helicopters with surprising efficiency, with Mike exclaiming "We've found something we're good at guys!"
  • Andy shooting at the Vinewood sign, and Mike being shocked by it:
  Mike: You can't shoot at it, it's a national treasure.
  Andy: (starts shooting) This is a satire on the movie industry, is what i'm doing right now...it's a piece of performance art.
• Janes' observation for when the crew deliver the helicopter:
  Jane: I look insanely paranoid, everyone else is in suits, and i'm in 4 inches of plate armor.
• Andy's Bond One-Liner at the end of the video:
  Andy: Alright, I think we're ready to heist...
• Part five:
  • The title of the video really says a lot about the crew when it says "UH OH, STEALTH" in all-caps. It's actually a Red Herring, as they all complete the mission very stealthily.
  • Mike and Andy musing about the Complexity Addiction of Agent 14 when he sets up heists, with Andy saying that if Ocean's Eleven just showed the crew going in, getting the goods, then going on again, then it wouldn't be as exciting.
  • Jane is now entering "Stab City".
  Andy: That sounds like something you shout at someone while stabbing them. Welcome to Stab City, stab, stab, stab! Population: You.
  • Janes' Skewed Priorities when delivering the EMP:
  Jane: Alright, who brought snacks?
  • Mike noting the EMP looks like a rave party the back of their truck.
  • Mike and Andy doing synchronized sniper shots, which leads onto Andy and Jane doing synchronized shots to make a surprisingly efficient team. They notably do not break stealth at all during the mission.
  • Mike realizing Andy's point about Agent 14's Complexity Addiction, and notes that they have to go there anyway, why not heist the place? Janes' response?
  Jane: Union Rules
  Mike: The Heisting union disallows it.
• Part Six:
  • Mike's Dynamic Entry into the video, which has him crash into Janes' car, which prompts the other two to say Hi to Mike.
  • Mike using his moped to get to Humane Labs, which as he notes, can't go up hills very well.
  Andy: To be fair, they won't be expecting someone to turn up on a Moped, so..
  Mike: Yeah.
  Andy: (sounding confused) The element of surprise?...will be in your favour?..I guess?
  Mike: Certainly not one with a zebra-print seat.
  • Mike losing one of their team lives by crashing a requested car, which Andy isn't happy about.
  • This exchange:
  Mike: What if I run over Benedict Cumberbatch?
  Andy: Don't run over Benedict Cumberbatch. He's got so many performances to give
  Mike: I wonder if it's an insta-fail?
  • Jane exclaiming "We're going to heist the moon!" in response to a waypoint ring in the sky.
  • Jane also picking up on 14's Complexity Addiction:
  Jane: Why do we have to parachute in? We can in a car last time?
  Mike: Because it's cooler Jane! It's cooler, much cooler.
  Jane: It's not if you have to scrape my face off of the car park.
  Mike: It's the Rule of Cool.
  • Jane and Andy getting the controls wrong when opening the lab with two keycard swipes, which garners this response.
  Jane: That was the trickiest part of the entire heist!
  Mike: That's because you're not up here trying to be blown up by helicopters!
  • Andy shouting out Janes' cool kick of a chair, hacking and general coolness in the cutscene.
  • Andy forgetting to equip his rebreather, dying which leaves him quite puzzled.
  • Jane equipping a knife when activating her rebreather, which she flails around while swimming.
  Jane: I'm swimming with a knife!
  Mike: Well, if a shark attacks, then you'll be prepared.
  • Mike and Andy ask Jane to "Ignore the fire" coming out of the helicopter.
  • The crew get quite confused by the grenade they get given, until the cutscene plays out, and Mike throws it at the helicopter, which leads to an Unflinching Walk, and Andy declaring that "we're cool".
• Prison Break:
  • Jane briefly singing the tune while they all walk out of the apartment.
  • Mike and Jane pointing out their cars of choice were not exactly subtle:
  Mike: In our super-conspicuous supercars. Definitely not doing a heist...
  Jane: (Laughs), well, did we not source some more anonymous cars for this heist?
  Mike: No.
  • Jane continues and says that the only thing that would make it more conspicuous would be a carnival float saying "we are heisting".
  • Andy; The Jazz Heister.
  • Mike and Jane running across the road and being run over.
  • Their contractor looking like an old Benedict Cumberbatch, which Andy ignores as he has a bullet wound direct in the middle of his chest.
  • Mike and Janes' name on the police uniform is "Officer Police", which the two immediately make fun of.
  • Andy and the intern; "Satans PR Guy" being caught in a bullet storm with the police, while Jane is advising Mike to "be cool, don't punch anyone".
  • "Satans PR Guy" dressing up in full SWAT uniform.
  • Mike namedrops Reservoir Dogs after they all leave the apartment for the heist for the final time in black suits and sunglasses.
  • Jane and Andy roleplaying as a prisoner and guard respectively:
  Andy: Hey, no fidgeting back there
  Jane: Up yours!
  Andy: well, that's a day in the hole for you.
  Jane: Not solitary screw, I mean, officer screw.
  Andy: That's two days int he hole! Do you wanna add to the tally, go ahead!
  • Andy speaking in broken english while being a guard accessing the prison.
  • Andy shouting "Sucker!", immediately realised what he just said, and says "sucker" really quietly.
  • The plan goes horribly wrong when Andy doesn't stop where he needed to.
  • Jane saying that getting shot in the chest is bad when you have no bullet proof vest on.
  • The fact Mike has yet to do anything wrong.
  • "For glorious victory!...and 80,000 dollars!"
• The Doomsday Heist:
• Part one:
  Mike: I think I deselected my gun in the panic.
  • Snack-tical maneuvers.
  Jane: Don't get up! Honestly! Play dead, you could get out of here alive!
  Jane: Oh. Were we not supposed to escape in the ambulance at all?
  Jane: much later, through gales of laughter Why are we in the ambulance again?! We were supposed to be back at the coroner's! We were supposed to be evac'd by Andy [in his very powerful, very fast attack chopper]! This is a disaster!
  Andy: I think I was meant to get the helicopter much faster than I actually did...
  Jane: No, no, don't blame yourself. We're idiots.
  Jane: I can't believe we've just gone on a scenic Ambulance road trip.
• Part Two:
  • After the first time went wrong due to Jane and Andy not being counted as part of the heisting team, they restart and appoint both Jane and Andy as Mike's bodyguards. This gives him control over their outfits, a power he abuses.
  Mike: I've got bad news about the uniform, though...
  Jane: Oh no, I'm wearing a sports...a sports garment. And now I'm a cowboy.
  • The autoaim for both Mike and Andy was set to lock onto friends, which causes Mike to accidentally help kill Jane by mistake, and Andy to constantly get annoyed at being forced to aim at Mike.
  • The second run dissolves into absolute chaos with a guy dressed as the Joker killing them in the customs garage, stealing their Deloreans and drowning them in the sea, and a fighter jet starts strafing them:
    Jane: I'm trying to drive erratically, but it's no more or less erratic than I usually drive.
  • Andy got a little angry at the Joker killing them, so Mike asks if shooting him with an orbital laser would suffice as revenge, to which Andy agrees:
    Mike (giddy with excitement): Never let it be said that i'm a vindictive person, but i'm going to marshal the star wars program to blow his head off!.
  • The Joker leaves the server to avoid the laser, but Andy suggests a new target: "Will the Kid", another player who had been harassing Jane and Andy with an attack helicopter. Once fired, he even got an achievement for firing it!
  • The crew saying the "Get to the Choppa!" line very awkwardly as "Get into the helicopter".
  • Pegasus want to reclaim the helicopter the crew are using, which leads to all of them parachuting out, the helicopter crashing, and Jane getting killed by a Hedge.
  • "Will the Kid" returns to make the Crews' life miserable, and keeps blowing up their plans, literally. In response, Jane and Mike use heat seeking missiles to take him down.
  • Mike makes a new enemy: A Palm tree! The crew then question how the orbital laser doesn't have a mobile app, and why they can't vaporise trees.
  • Andy discovers that when he hasn't got a weapon at hand, he gives the middle finger instead, first at Jane, then to the rest of Los Santos while in first person, which comes in handy when Jane crashes into someone:
    Jane: I refer you to my passenger... (Andy continues Flipping the Bird)
  • When the Server crashes, which causes Jane and Andy to no longer be on the mission, Andy describes another player he finds near the now-locked car as "a guy who looks like they're from Team Fortress."
  • Heist Intern Nerascus meets the crew once again, and they're all smitten with him. Andy texts him "You're back" from Mike’s passenger seat in response to the encounter. Nerascus' response? "Hello!"
  • Mike’s congratulatory speech:
    Mike: Anyway guys, we did it, we got the deloreans, finally. It only took about 8 deaths, one orbital strike, several trips...
    Jane:...and a partridge in a pear tree.
    Mike: And a partridge in a pear tree, but we don't talk about that.
  • During the Avenger theft, Andy starts discussing Red Dead Redemption II because it's from the same developer.
    Andy: Don't you think that this whole mission would be better if we were on horses, and...
    Mike: Well, no.
    Andy: ...instead of trying to steal a plane we were trying to steal a big flying horse?
    Mike: I mean, yes...

Let's Play - Hitman (2016)

• The running gags in the Hitman (2016) videos: one where Andy will always refer to the game as Hitman: No Subtitle, one where the players will make incredibly awkward and unconvincing in-character statements, and ones where Andy will make a Bond One-Liner at every opportunity.
  • Whenever playing on the Morocco map, there will always be comments on the amazing bead curtain physics.
• Hitman (2016) Paris:
  • Andy giving a spoof press conference to an indifferent in-game reporter.
  • Andy momentarily forgets that he's attending a fashion show and thinks it might be a phone launch event.
  • Mike encounters his target making a very old and very bad pun:
  "That's a terrible joke. You DESERVE to die just for that joke.
  • Andy specifies that he's hiding an unconscious NPC in an extremely nice seventeenth-century armoire.
  • Mike on morality:
  "Yes, non-target kill, but he was a bad man, I'm...fairly sure..."
  • Jane's unnervingly specific philosophy of life:
  "I mean, you've got fiber wire, but why not the indignity of a toilet drowning, is what I always say..."
  • Mike tempts fate once too often:
  [Tosses body over balcony] "That seemed to go okay!" [BODY FOUND]
  • Mike dangles from a ledge:
  "Why do I get myself into these situations..."
  • Andy has trouble getting Dalia Margolis to pay attention to the fireworks.
  "When did you lose your sense of joy, Dalia?"
  • Andy managing to, completely accidentally, kill both his targets by shoving one off the balcony onto the other.
  "Did you guys hear about the terrible accident? Dalia fell off the balcony onto Viktor. It was very unlikely."
  • Mike killing the Chef elusive target by tossing a remote detonated charge into a small crowd, and somehow managing to blow up his target and only his target, without being detected, before making a quick getaway, all in under two minutes.
    • Andy is more than a bit annoyed that it worked, and ultimately scores less than Mike, while Jane failed the hit entirely.
• Hitman (2016) Sapienza:
  • When trying to get someone to open the door, Andy makes several announcements:
  "Hello? Flower delivery? Singing telegram? I'm selling these fine leather jackets? I found your cat?" [door opens] "Ah, that works." [punches the guy opening the door]
  • Mike rings the doorbell to the safe house only to have the key to it. And inside he finds one of his true loves.
  "Explosive golf ball. Can you imagine a world where I don't pick up the explosive golf ball?"

  • And he gets positively giddy when he uses it to kill Silvio Caruso. Especially as the explosion sends him flying across the yard.
  Mike: This is going to be brilliant! Explode, please explode. I want to see him explode so hard.
  • Mike commenting the simple attire that the security guards wear, feeling that it looks like something from Right Said Fred.
  • Mike getting distracted by the woodchipper and his idea of treating himself. To his credit, he does seem to struggle with the temptation of putting bodies through the woodchipper for about three seconds before giving in. He then proceeds to position 47 in front of the chute in order to "power up" from the blood being sprayed in his face.
  • Jane tries to tail the detective, in her words, discreetly so she can knock him out in a more private place when she accidentally outpaces the detective who notices 47 immediately and become suspicious. As a result, Jane just punches him in the gut, snaps his neck, and takes his disguise.
  • To kill Francesca De Santis, both Andy and Jane engage in subterfuge, disguising themselves as someone set to meet with her, and, in general, kill her in sneaky ways. Mike, on the other hand, just shoots her. While escaping in Combat, he hides from a guard by just jumping behind a lamp that only hides his head. Somehow, this manages to actually work, much to his own surprise.
  • Jane comparing the underground lab to that from Umbrella Corporation and then later, a Bond villain.
  • Doing the Escalation mission, which has a number of restrictions including that knocking anybody out is an insta-fail, Mike continually struggles with the temptation to do his usual mayhem. He ends up doing an unusually efficient and stealthy job up until literally the last moment, when instead of getting in the getaway car and driving off he succumbs to the temptation to throw a heavy object at an innocent passerby for laughs. The passerby is knocked out, causing an insta-fail, and Mike has to do the whole mission over.
  • During the Landslide mission, Jane kills Marco by pushing him off the church tower, expecting it to simply be a normal Disney Villain Death...only to be shocked by what actually happens. She's then befuddled somehow no one has noticed the church now has a dead guy impaled on top of it.
  • She then wonders if giant metal spikes are a symbol of christianity.
• Hitman (2016) Morocco:
  • Andy's increasing frustration with incessant tailing.
  "That's probably too many people, isn't it. Probably 20 or 30 people is too many witnesses."
  (Staring at the scenery) "I'm really interested in these plates, definitely interested in these plates. ISOLATE YOURSELF!"
  (In disguise) "Hey guys, I put up that one poster I had left. Sorry it took so long; I wanted to wander around for some reason and not isolate myself...oh God, more tailing?!"
  "I was kind of hoping for...less tailing after that initial tailing."
  "I'm really starting to rethink my Hitman choices right now."
  (Upon arriving and being told to go and listen to the general) "Let me guess: he wants us to go and tail someone, around the city."
  • Andy being jet-setting and cosmopolitan.
  "Now I've not actually been to Morocco, but I've been to the Morocco pavilion at Epcot, so I can tell you that this is extremely accurate! Uh, I don't know if it's accurate. It's very nice, though."
  • Mike expects a certain measure of Genre Savvy from these guards.
  "Don't smoke next to exploding barrels! Are you aware of how dangerous this is? This is a videogame, for pity's sake!"
  • Mike nailing a guard right in the mouth with a pool ball.
  • After that, Mike knocks out a guard only to realize that there was another one standing inside him,.
  • Jane tries to find symbolism in killing a corrupt Swedish banker with a fiberglass moose.
  "Moose are Swedish, so it's kind of ironic, probably. Not really a satire on banking as much as...a moose, but..."
  • Andy after throwing the general into the printing press.
  "Alright done! Oh wait I should say something, uh clever... They'll print anything these day- oh wait someone's coming in"
  • Andy applies Logic to his problem:
  "If you were a Swedish embassy, where would you be?"
  • Andy concludes that the janitor he's just knocked unconscious would probably want to be put in the bin, out of visibility.
  • Jane, on a failed silent attack:
  "Just punch him in the butt and snap his neck. Classy. I am just class all the way. Who says I can't make the most of an opportunity? That was a great opportunity to...punch him in the butt...and snap his neck."
  • While Jane and Andy managed to kill the general in decently stealthy ways, Mike...just marches through his compound like Rambo until he sees the guy and guns him down once his initial attempt at stealth fails. Predictably, he gets zero points for the level.
  • Andy's one-liner falls nearly as flat as the target just did:
  "I guess there was...Nor-way he could have survived that? Oh wait, he's Swedish. [Sound-Effect Bleep]."
  • Mike pauses in the midst of his escape to photobomb a tourist.
  • Andy calming the protesters
  "You can stop protesting, I killed him, I mean someone killed him, I mean it was an accident."
• Hitman (2016) Bangkok:
  • Having stolen a unique costume from a drummer as part of the first assassination, Andy goes out of his way to retain it as long as possible, even going back to get it after the second assassination.
  • Mike promises the hotel a lot of stars on Tripadvisor.
  • All the badly planned jumping through windows.
  • Andy expects the staff to be ridiculously helpful.
  "So many stairs. I thought this was supposed to be a luxury hotel! Where's the stairlift? Or...someone, carry me."
  "Look. You're ending up in the freezer. Make this easy on both of us. Climb in there yourself."
  • Mike is extremely impressed when 47 knocks someone out with an over-the-shoulder pool ball lob.
  • Jane isn't sure how getting numbers for the top of a birthday cake connects to killing the birthday boy.
  "Jam it into the cake, and then...into his eye sockets, or something."
  • Andy trying to figure out how 47 is an inexplicably brilliant drummer.
  "I guess drumming and hitmanning are similar? Lots of hitting things with sticks? ...It's a magic drumming outfit. And then later, when I change out of it, I'll still be able to drum! It turns out that the drumming was inside me all along."
  • Mike maintains his cover as an exterminator:
  NPC: Eugh. I hate insects.
  Mike: Yeah, so do I. It's why I got this job, you idiot.
  • Jane is appalled by the birthday song being performed by the guests.
  • Mike's assassination plan for Ken Morgan: hit him in the head with a coconut, and then stab him. The first part works perfectly, but because he flings the knife at the unconscious figure, he has to use a neck-snap for the second part.
  • Andy compliments the hotel's corpse-disposal staff.
  • Mike executes the entire second half of his mission without changing out of his exterminator outfit. It's very conspicuous.
  • Andy tries and fails to do a horror-movie jump scare with an axe and just decides to hit his target with it.
  • Andy wipes the security tapes by opening the door, shooting the tapes, and closing the door again. It works.
  • Jane's exit strategy is to dive into the water, swim to the temple in the background, and ask for sanctuary.
  • Andy reviews the hotel:
  "Five stars for cleanliness, five stars for location, five stars for people isolating themselves when I needed to murder them. That was particularly appreciated.
  • Andy declaring himself, in his English accent, to be "baller AF".
  • Mike is pleased to, for once, have a score that is not zero.
• Hitman (2016) Colorado:
  • Andy's introduction.
  Andy: We have to kill four people this time, which I think, technically, qualifies as a spree.
  • Mike, master of stealth:
  "We've got to kill four people, which, given that normally when I kill one I end up having to escape in a hail of gunfire, is probably going to be quite challenging."
  • Jane semi-accidentally killing someone with a hay baler.
  • Andy misidentifying a length of power cord on the technician outfit as a whip, and concluding he's an Indiana Jones technician.
  • Mike spontaneously deciding to murder a mechanic just by dropping the car he's repairing on him.
  "That's for overcharging me on that exhaust replacement."
  • Andy picks the most appropriate time to knock a guard unconscious.
  Guard: Did you see who threw that?
  Andy: (knocks him out with a flung brick) Did you see who threw THAT?
  • Andy has to take out several guards carefully to set up an accidental kill...only to realize his target left while he was setting up. He then has to wait for a long time for her to come back, which he spends making up Bond One Liners.
  • Jane failing to think up a Bond One-Liner after killing one target with a battering ram.
  • Jane hiding in a box to avoid guards.
  "I just live here now. This is my life. Well, 47, this is how it ends: a glorious career cut short. Just forward my mail to me here in this crate, Diana."
  • One target displays more foresight than most by locking his office door behind him.
  Andy: Damn you and your basic security precautions, Sean Rose!
  • Jane giving up on waiting for Sean Rose to take his watch off and just stabbing him with a lethal syringe.
  • Mike being subtle.
  "I reckon that was pretty stealthy, for me. I mean, it involved an explosion, but nobody is shooting at me..."
  • Mike's repeated failures to blow up his next target, including loosening the valve on a container of flammable gas (someone else explodes it), planting a proximity mine (which goes off way prematurely), and loosening the gas valve on an oven (it actually explodes much later, while he's trying to carry out a completely different hit).
  Mike: (to a smouldering corpse) You silly man.
  • Jane trying to annoy Penelope Graves into talking to her.
  • Andy deciding that after putting on the scarecrow disguise, 47 has clearly become a horror movie Serial Killer, complete with editing in some creepy music. While a successful plan, this earns him a 40-minute period just hanging from a pole pretending to be a scarecrow.
  "Time for the Scarecrow Murderer to strike! [Evil Laugh] ...I've decided to just embrace it, I think."
  "I think, probably, time to surrender the scarecrow costume, 47. I know you love it, but it is...the most conspicuous thing in the world."
  • Later, when Andy first meets masked target Ezra Berg.
  Andy: That mask is a bit serial killer-y. And I just spent 40 minutes dressed as a scarecrow murdering people in an orchard.
  • Jane finally comes up with a Bond One-Liner at the slurry pit.
  "That's, uh, a sh*t way to go, I want to say?"
  • Jane on the importance of forward planning:
  "I mean, the stealth run was off the cards as soon as I baled that dude."
  • Mike tries to come up with an elaborate Batman Gambit to get into a locked room, only for his target to come along and open the door for him.
  • Jane getting irate at 47 for not properly knocking out his targets despite the fact that she's controlling him.
  • Jane manages another accidental kill because she neglected to put away her garotte.
  • Both Andy and Mike are a bit upset about needing Sean Rose's face for the biometrics, given that there's not necessarily much of it left after they blew him up in different ways.
  • Andy getting a bit sarcastic about being told to "locate exit" when the exit is clearly a whole four feet away.
• Hitman (2016) Japan:
  • Both Andy and Jane being distracted from the mission by the setting: Andy taking a brief holiday in his room, and Jane pausing to observe the admittedly incredible view. Mike is the only one to remain mostly on target...but he does get distracted later on by how much of a mess one of his targets made when she fell over a balcony (with some help).
  • All three of them are amazed by the bathrooms: Andy and Mike are distracted by the automatic toilet lid, while Jane considers the stealing potential inherent to the array of shampoos and soaps.
  • Mike is nothing if not honest about his typical strategy:
  "Now, unfortunately, I've not been allowed to bring a gun, which is going to make it extremely difficult to kill my usual nineteen people..."
  • Andy gets medical:
  "Ooh, doctors." [hits one in the face with an improvised throwing weapon] "My diagnosis is cowboy bust to the head."
  [Having stolen one's costume] "I'm a doctor now. Aren't you proud of me, mum."
  • Mike, having stolen a racing costume from a corpse in the morgue, geeks out about how cool he looks.
  • Jane on social stereotyping:
  "That's convenient, follow the guy in the big cowboy hat...we all know that's the uniform of a Texan?"
  • Andy's multipurpose cowboy bust:
  "We weren't allowed to bring any weapons or anything, so I've mostly been using this cowboy bust as a distraction, melee weapon, confidant...it's a lot more practical help than Diana, right Diana?"
  • After one of the chefs coughs, Andy chokes him out:
  "Hi! Health inspector. This is for coughing in the soup."
  • Jane grabs a katana at random on the grounds that it looks badass.
  • Mike on authority:
  "This is the lady I'm assigned to bump off! As hospital director, I direct you to be dead."
  • "Now to deal with Captain I-Live-Inside-A-Dead-Spider-Machine."
  • Andy reaches the rare right-sided heart:
  "Change the temperature, or disconnect it from the life support system..." (47 throws it bluntly into the garbage) "...wow, okay, or just f**k it into the bin, 47, that works."
  • Jane on priorities:
  "See, that was painless! ...for me."
• Hitman (2016) BEWARE THE VAMPIRE MAGICIAN
  • Mike and Andy run into some guards who have some very specific views of their actions...
  Guard: "There's someone goofing around!"
  Mike (laughing the whole time): "Goofing around? ... I am 100% not goofing around."
  Later guard: "Someone's causing a public commotion."
  Andy (while Mike is laughing in the background): "Someone's up to shenanigans...in the attic."
  Mike (while finishing the second level of the escalation): "Oh man, all you guys have no idea what I've been up to. You would not BELIEVE what I've been up to; the shenanigans, the public commotion..."
  Andy: "The tomfoolery..."
  Mike: "The hijinks..."
  Andy: "Just don't go in the attic, I would say."
• Hitman (2016): Elusive Target #24
  • Mike gets ridiculously excited about the prospect of throwing a meat cleaver into the target's head from a distance.
  • Not now, Lewis Thomson!^note While Mike was trying to make his dramatic final getaway after throwing a cleaver into the target's head, someone on Xbox Live kept messaging whoever the owner of the console they were using was to invite them to a multiplayer game.
• Hitman (2016) Mario and Luigi Contract:
  • Andy concludes, from Luigi's The Ramones T-shirt, that he is the Cool One, like Andy's always said.
  • When they're hit by a help tip early on, they conclude that the update meant it thought they didn't know what they were doing.
    Mike: I mean, I don't, but...
  • They hatch, but sadly don't attempt, a plan where Agent 47 would spin on the spot and drill into the ground to get to Mario.
  • Things near instantly go horribly wrong when Mike chokes out a guard...and Mario sees it, runs off, and makes it all the way to some guards. This ends with him choking Mario out in broad daylight with everyone watching him, stealing his outfit, and rushing off to kill Luigi while being chased by guards who eventually catch him. Both of the guards he kills during this is via Groin Attack.
  • Everyone gets a bit irritated by Mike constantly crouch-walking.
  • "I'm not that cruel," says Mike, less than a minute before randomly breaking some dude's neck for no reason.
• Hitman (2016) 1001 Moroccan Nights Contract
  • The contract requires the player to kill numerous targets while dressed as the fortune teller. It is noted that the fortune teller's costume makes Agent 47 look a little like a genie. Naturally, this leads to Andy following one of the targets around while spinning in circles singing "You Ain't Never Had A Friend Like Me".
  • Talk of genies turns to talk of Wishmaster, and the crew decide to send Agent 47 on the full Jackass Genie route by interpreting every kill he makes as fulfilling the target's wish in as cruelly ironic a fashion as possible. This quickly hits a snag when they are initially unable to think of a wish that someone would make which would lead the genie to blow them up. They eventually go with "I wish I were hotter" as opposed to Jane's suggestion of "I wish I was on fire".
  "Wishmasteeeeeeeeer!"
  • Other notable "wishes" include "I wish I had a sharper intellect", "I wish I could get the point" (got stabbed), "I wish I had a drink" (got beaned in the face with a can of soda and his neck snapped), "I wish I had a piece of metal in my head" and "I wish I would go down in history and be remembered as someone who got shot in the head by a genie" (got shot in the head by a genie).
  • This exchange:
    Andy: Who's shooting me and why?!
    Jane: Well, all your crimes, obviously.
    Andy: I mean obviously my crimes.
  • [Getting shot to ribbons by a multitude of enemies] "It's fine, you don't understand that it's fine."
  • "Wishmaster! Let this be a lesson to AAAAAAALLLLLL of you! Don't... make wishes. Or you'll end up like those people. Shouldn't stop to gloat."
• Hitman (2016) Patient Zero The Source:
  • Andy and Jane choose sensible suits for 47 on their mission. Mike opts...the clown outfit.
  • Mike tries to covertly take out two guards to get to the room they're guarding...only to run straight into the entire cult. This leads to him being hunted and hiding in a closet...then shot at and having to come out to beat up a guard. This happens again, leading to a lot of murders.
  Mike: Well that was going really well until it ceased...to go...well.
  • Andy ending up waiting forever for the secondary target to drink poison and being annoyed having to listen to the lecture about death happening in the background. He then has to wait forever again for the cult leader to return to the fire ritual to die.
  • Andy's reaction to overhearing about the opportunity for the fire accident kill, complete with a graphic.
  Andy: There's some very flammable vodka and a ritual that involves fire. So if you're doing the Hitman maths with me along at home you can see that adds up to spectacular murder.
  • Jane deciding death by fire extinguisher counts as a Death by Irony for the evil cult leader performing a fire ritual...She then realizes that hitting him in the head with a fire extinguisher is nonlethal, so she just throws him down a staircase.
  • Mike kills the secondary target by throwing a knife at her while she's taking a selfie. He then decides to go back to get his clown outfit even though he could easily escape just fine, which results in him escaping in a hail of gunfire.
  • Andy realizing he forgot to make a good Bond One-Liner for the cult leader.
• Hitman (2016) Patient Zero The Author:
  • Mike sees the slasher photo set...
  Mike: Oh well I know how Andy's going to be doing this then.
  Jump Cut to Andy finding the set
  Andy: Whoa! What the hell is going on there! Oh my God I need that costume!
  • Andy waiting for the opportunity to murder the target at his book reading...and commenting the book is so awful murdering him will be doing the literary world a favor.
  Andy: It's fine 47, let it fuel your murder rage.
  • Andy does the pen kill... and is promptly horrified by how brutal it was.
  • Andy commenting that he takes back saying 47 had fully become a horror movie Serial Killer back in Colorado, given he's actually dressed as a horror movie slasher at the moment.
  • Jane wants to go with the dramatic kill rather than just breaking her first target's neck and throw him into the ocean...only to find the only location available is a shallow beach she can't just throw him into. She spends several minutes dragging him around trying to drown him...which actually works and counts as an accident kill.
  • Jane sets up an elaborate trap to kill the second target...only to blow it and be forced to suddenly shoot him and run for it.
• Hitman (2016) Patient Zero Final Mission:
  • The subtitle given to the episode sums it all up, really:
    Hitman Patient Zero Final Mission: 3 Ways to Play (Inferno, Rampage, Worse Rampage)
  • Mike is sad that this mission does not allow him to start as a clown.
  • Andy concludes that the basis of Hokkaido security is RFID chips in the pants.
    Andy: It's fine, you'll be fine, I just need your trousers...That sounds weird.
  • The Andy Hitman Guarantee:
    Andy: Maximum comfort for all unconscious guards wherever possible.
  • Mike is momentarily distracted by how brutal the cleaver-throw kill actually is.
    Mike: Right. Okay. Off to a strong start. [Alert goes from "Compromised" to "Hunted".] Uh-oh.
  • Jane starts getting smug that she's managed to avoid fatalities so far, only to suddenly remember that there are eight infectees to deal with.
    Jane: No fatalities! I mean, eight lethal infected people, so eight fatalities, but you can't pin them on me, Diana!
  • Mike finds his new favourite thing ever: a bin of highly corrosive chemicals. He sounds like a child on Christmas when he realises he could use it for corpse disposal.
  • The "Infected" counter ticks up pretty quickly for everyone but Andy.
    Mike: It's like a zombie movie! This is Hitman crossed with zombies - this is awesome.
  • Mike's moral objection to the clumsiness of the corpse disposal staff, which he expresses through headshot.
  • Jane's I Did What I Had to Do speech about her next objective being to kill 24 infected people.
    Jane: I do this with a heavy heart and a clean conscience, because you're all doomed.
  • Since the Godzilla Threshold has been crossed, 47's mission shifts away from "stealth elimination of 1-4 targets" and over to "It's the Only Way to Be Sure". Jane's starting approach to this is to, while clad in a hazmat suit, plod around like a horror movie monster, meticulously gunning down everyone in her path, while complaining about how busy she is and if the virus would pretty please stop infecting more people.
    • You'd think Mike would be tailor-made for this sort of indiscriminate mayhem. Nope, he ends up with more infected than the other two^note Andy doesn't even let it get past 1, and manages to destroy the security tapes, and has no non-target kills., to the point where he has dozens of targets^note End of mission score says 112 infected. and he starts starts sounding a bit miffed with all the mass murder he has to do. Especially since he's forced to rely on melee and guns.
  • Mike's breaching charge proves to have a blast radius of about six inches.
    Mike: That was rubbish. What is even the point of a remote breaching charge? [barges through the door and shoots both primary targets in the head]
  • Jane starts referring to her instances of mass murder as "mercy sprees".
    Jane: [To an infected victim] This is a mercy killing. Please cooperate.
  • Mike takes a momentary breather.
    Mike: Now let's take a moment to centre ourselves with this lovely view, and then we'll have to kill all these guys.
  • The infection rate in Mike's playthrough is getting a bit excessive.
    Mike: Forty-seven! [weakly] That's my lucky number!
  • After a bit, Mike starts getting sad about the number of people he's killing. Jane, meanwhile...
    Jane: I diagnose virus. I prescribe screwdriver! [flings said item into victim's head]
  • Jane adopts the screwdriver as her Calling Card and dubs it "Screwy".
  • "Screwdriver right in the...carotid...jugular...I'm not the doctor, you're the doctor! Well, you were the doctor..."
  • Andy finds a new toy.
    Andy: Initiate incineration procedure?! Uh...yeah?!
  • Mike concludes that he's going to be remembered as either the saviour of all mankind, or history's greatest monster, probably the latter.
  • Always look on the bright side of death.
    Mike: Oh, even the morgue guy! At least they won't have to move him far.
  • In many ways, this one serves as the perfect capstone to each of their careers: Andy gets out with minimal casualties and a Silent Assassin rating, Jane kills a bunch but the infectee counter never reaches 40, and Mike nearly depopulates the level (his previous kill record was something like 23 counting both target and non-target kills; this one had one hundred and twenty-five total casualties).
    Mike: Probably best if we don't ever speak of this again, Diana.
• Mike gets his clown fix in the "Corky Commotion" escalation mission, which revolves around hitting a fashion model with a baseball bat in a shower of confetti.
  Mike: (as Andy knocks out four guards while dressed as a clown) I've just realised that while this looks like a normal Hitman playthrough for me, this is like...horrible for you. It's torture.

Let's Play - Hitman 2

• Hitman 2 Ghost Mode:
  • Andy facing Mike in the game's Ghost Mode rapidly becomes Andy's worst nightmare because as he's patiently waiting for the target to isolate themselves so he can get an unnoticed kill, Mike's preferred method of execution is rushing in and axing the target to death no matter how many people may be watching, forcing Andy to use similarly unstealthy tactics in order to not lose points. Suffice to say Andy was getting increasingly salty because of this...
    Andy: I've never been this angry.
  • However, this reckless rampaging of Mike screws him over repeatedly, as it causes him to completely fail to get unnoticed kills (in part due to constantly being in combat) and keep losing points due to nontarget murders while Andy isn't able to get points due to having to Mike making it very hard for him to make any unnoticed kills, resulting in it ending in a stalemate.
• Hitman 2 Perfect Crime Scene:
  • Andy and Jane near instantly get distracted by how form fitting 47's wet suit is and are continually distracted it throughout the entire video.
  • Jane noting that the guards on the roof somehow manage to miss the top of 47's head poking over a wall when staring right at it.
  • Andy dumps chloroform into the ventilation system to knock out the target...and then hides in the same room as them, forgetting about that and losing because of it.
  • After successfully killing the victim, Andy puts the gun next to her unconscious lover to try to make it look like he did it...only to then realize when all the way at the boat he needs a gun to trigger a distraction explosion to escape, and thus needs to trek all the way back to get it.
• Hitman 2 Sean Bean:
  • The trio, and especially Jane, squee at meeting Sean Bean and express admiration for his face and his body of work. Jane hovers so much that the character snaps at her, and she sheepishly retreats.
  • She also tries her damndest to offer him a blueberry muffin, which Andy scoffs at, since a tough guy like Sean Bran doesn't eat muffins.
    • Jane ultimately tosses the muffin at him, which gets Bean and his entourage alerted, or rather stare at her for a moment.
  • Andy spends the entirety of his playthrough carefully poisoning Sean Bean's coffee, then following him to the bathroom where he can be drowned in the toilet — and then he just beans him on the head with a blueberry muffin and snaps his neck.
    Andy: Whew! Do NOT go in there!
    • Followed immediately by him leaving bathroom while the guards posted outside do nothing
  • Mike's strategy is simplicity itself: steal an explosive device, lob it at Sean Bean's head, and leg it. It turns out that the tiny explosives are really, really destructive, and its impact on Sean Bean leads to his head slamming into the ceiling.
• Hitman 2 Silent Mike: Someone made a mission specifically for Mike: blow up four people who are standing right next to each other and run away in thirty seconds. Mike still has trouble getting more than two stars.
• Hitman 2 Siberia: PRISON RIOT!: The sniping mechanics result in (A) a lot of Trial-and-Error Gameplay, and (B) some very dark slapstick kills.
  Andy: You're making up for the civilian deaths with these moving targets.
  Jane: Oh, sure. I'm redeeming myself.
  • Later:
    Andy: (shoots mobster in an outhouse)
    Jane: There's a witness!
    (bang)
    Andy: Not anymore there isn't.
• Hitman 2 Mumbai Part 1:
  • Jane gets into the laundry via the sewers, and devotes some effort to lamenting what this has no doubt done to 47's clothes.
  • Jane is nothing if not honest about her approach:
    Jane: I haven't got a plan, but that's never stopped me before.
  • '"Come to Mumbai," they said. "See the sights," they said. "Wade through ankle-deep sewage," they said.'
  • Andy Evaluates a Plan.
    Andy: So here's the foreman; what's his deal? And how cool is his outfit? Because that does factor into whether I want to dress up as him or not.
  • That's not how the system works, Mike.
    Mike: I'm trespassing, but that's alright, because I've got a plan. I just haven't...invented it yet, is all.
  • Flies, according to Jane, are "nature's quitters".
  • Mike meets an old friend.
    Mike: An exploding barrel? Explosives? You shouldn't have!
  • Andy critiques the foreman's choice of flip-flops.
  • From "How to Maintain Your Cover" by Andy Farrant:
    Andy: Hey guys, it's me, the foreman. I've decided to leave my office. Clean...harder.
  • Jane steals a bolt of cloth by accident. In full view of the shopkeep. She then decides to leave rather abruptly.
  • Mike gets a "Body Found" notification for the body he's dragging, and fails to realise this for several seconds.
  • Andy comments that 47, in-character as the foreman, makes solving laundry problems sound very much like murder.
  • In an important advancement for Jane's Hitman skills, she has now figured out how to put a garotte or related tool away before she tries to knock someone out.
  • Andy cannot think of a Bond One-Liner.
  • Jane's attempt to get a distinctive outfit goes wrong when, instead of choking the guy out, she kicks him into an open sewer.
• Mumbai pt 2:
  • Mike Channell, Master of Forward Planning, attempting to kill someone on the spur of the moment...leading to a target lockdown when the guy falls into the pool one storey below.
    Mike: Why did I do that? I thought it would be funny...
  • You can't get the help these days.
    Andy: (having stuck the very pale 47 into the Indian artist's outfit) I mean, honestly, who would not notice? ...This guy, apparently. This guy would not notice.
  • Jane putting on a prima donna routine when not permitted up the stairs.
  • Mike is reduced to begging his target to walk near some explosives.
  • There's no moral issue here, really.
    Andy: He's just talking about paying me in exposure, rather than money, so...if anyone had any problems with him about to be shot, can it, all right?
  • Shortly after getting someone else to kill the target for him, Andy begins to worry whether 47 is going to get paid.
  • Jane is disappointed that a cricket ball isn't a lethal weapon, although hey, at least you can now fling murder weapons at unconscious people!
  • Mike is overjoyed when, after a long wait, he finally gets the chance to explode the target.
  • Andy deploys a pro-level strat of throwing a brick at a dude.
  • For once, Andy's assumption that Mike is just running around murdering everyone is only somewhat true, and mostly derived from Mike hitting the wrong thing and throwing an axe instead of a can of spaghetti sauce.
  • Jane learns that Mumbai has a lot of people in it.
  • Andy concludes that 47 is incapable of speaking except in murder puns.
  • Jane attempts to kill the Maelstrom with a cleaver, only to screw up her aim and just chuck the thing under-arm.
  • Andy is certain that 47 wouldn't survive the social disfavour earned by showing up to the Agency in flip-flops.
  • Mike can't escape in the tuk-tuk because he doesn't have a key and all his coins ended up on the floor.
  • Andy finally thinks up his laundry-kill pun at the end of the level: "You better wash out!"
  • As one would expect, Andy gets five stars and a Silent Assassin rating; Mike does not.
• Hitman 2 Whittleton Creek part one:
  • You know a video is going to be something special when Mike opens with an explanation for his choice of the clown outfit.
  • Immediately after Jane finishes planning out how to assume the identity of a real estate agent, we cut to Mike attempting to ride on the bouncy racing car in a kids' play area and being heartbroken when that fails.
  • This exchange:
    NPC: Unless it's a flesh-eating mutant mole, you don't need explosives.
    Mike: Explosiiives, you say...
  • Andy is desperate to make up some ground after accidentally playing on Casual difficulty, so he brings up how brilliant and professional half of the things he does are.
  • Jane manages an entirely new kind of Accidental Murder to add to her scorecard when she chokes someone out on a river bank, and they slide into the river and disappear.
    Jane: If anyone's to blame, it's him.
  • Andy insists that an unconscious NPC should be thanking him, really.
  • "Everyone remember where I parked the male nurse" - Jane Douglas, 2019
  • After deciding to follow one of the targets:
    Mike: Every so often I forget that I'm a clown. And then I remember, and everything's right with the world.
  • You can't get the help these days.
    Mike: You'd have thought some sort of security expert would, by now, have a) noticed the clown following him around, and b) gotten suspicious about the clown following him around.
  • Mike visits a BBQ, photobombs the guests, and talks about getting drunk and playing mini-golf in a clown outfit. If any part of that sentence was surprising to you, hello and welcome to Outside Xbox.
  • Mike has a new Hitman experience. Not carrying a propane tank; not even carrying a propane tank while dressed as a clown; but carrying a propane tank, while dressed as a clown, without planning to casually drop it next to his target and shoot it. (He does eventually shoot it, but it actually provided propane for a BBQ first!)
  • Jane on architecture:
    Jane: Basement - that's the most murdery room in a house, right?
  • Andy's flair for amateur dramatics gets the better of him when he decides that, instead of simply leaving his target's corpse hidden away in a house full of knockout gas, he needs to fake the guy falling out of a window to his death.
  • When Mike does eventually shoot the propane tank, his target is a little too far away and is just knocked unconscious, necessitating a frantic sprint for the clown outfit, followed by an assassination involving a treehouse and a long-ranged pistol shot.
• Whittleton Creek part 2:
  • Andy goes back to the suit because it's very stylish.
  • "Was that a frog or was that a dig? Frog or dig? Frog or dig?"
  • Andy ends up getting confused about whether Janus and the Constant are the same person or not.
  • Jane provides security advice to an NPC.
  • Andy shows off his cardiovascular fitness.
  • Mike doesn't make a mountain out of a molehill, because explosives generally don't make mountains. Quite the opposite, usually.
  • Mike meets his target:
    Mike: Wow, he is really old. I mean, could I not just wait...half an hour? And he'll probably die, and then mission accomplished, right?
  • Jane goes through the wrong door and walks into the cupboard.
  • When Mike finds the casualties from his barbeque rampage, he ends up robbing a corpse out of the body bag.
    Mike: There's bodies everywhere, and I can't help but feel somewhat responsible.
  • Andy "cryogenically freezes" someone until the future, when they develop a cure for wrench injuries.
  • Jane's plan goes horribly wrong.
  • Mike indulges in stuff that is usually an "Andy thing" like deleting the security tapes or hiding unconscious witnesses.
  • Andy concludes that the gramophone used to be in the bedroom, and the target moved it because he read about the horrible murder in Sapienza.
  • Timing is everything.
    Lucas Grey: I wonder how little he remembers, how little he cares.
    Mike: Not as little as I care. [kills him with a thrown screwdriver.]
  • Andy mashes the "kill" button the second his target's rambling checks off the "intel" box.
  • Mike stuns his target with a bomb throw, then triggers it, and chortles like he's the happiest he's been in years.
  • Mike has been neglecting the intel collection for so long that he's forgotten it's even a mission, even though it's right there on screen.
  • Andy mocks up another crime scene.
  • Mike concludes that his controller vibration involves being touched by frogs.
  • Jane responds to being rejected by a guard by walking through the open garage door five feet to the guy's left.
  • Mike makes sure to get his clown outfit back. His compromised clown outfit. This leads to him going "full It.
  • The mission exit being four feet away from the actual edge of the map manages to throw both Andy and Mike.
  • Mike is jubilant about his final score, which is a record-setting (for him) two out of five.
• "The Undying Returns":
  • Jane kills the target with a robot...and then tries to make up an elaborate story about making the robot to cook and it decided to kill him on its own.
  • Andy decides to go for fun points and snipe Mark Faba, since they don't get to do it that often...and finds despite bringing a Electronic Key Hacker to deal with electronic locks, the point he wants to snipe from is using a traditional lock. He goes to find a crowbar (with the help of Jane), and finds out along the way that guards at frisk points will also check the briefcase he hid his sniper rifle in, so has to leave his briefcase in a random bathroom to get one. When he comes back to find it, he finds it missing because an NPC passing by had found it, and reported it as a suspicious item, and Andy has to sneak his way into a security office to steal it back. After doing this, he finds out the crowbars were nearer to the toilets than anticipated (leaning on some boxes near the Thwack Paddock), which he wasn't best pleased about. Upon getting to the vantage point, he and Jane have to wait a long time for the target to finally get in position, and also get briefly amused by "Lanyard physics". Andy could've avoided this mess from the start if he had A: Brought a sniper rifle with him to begin with, or at the very least B: Brought a lockpick to begin with.
• The Aquatic Retribution escalation:
  • Mike, in possibly the most Mike-ish moment not to include an actual explosion, manages to get a crosshair painted on himself in the first eight seconds by dodging security.
    Jane: As an opening move, a la chess, we'll call that the Mike Gambit.
  • All of the fish puns, especially the desperation to figure out new fish puns.
  • The phrase "horrifying fish murder spree", especially given that the security guards are largely unfussed by the multiple fish tanks Mike blows open.
  • The first mission failure comes about because Mike couldn't resist the chance to find out whether a starfish counted and chucked it at one of the targets' heads like a shuriken.
  • Actually finding a fish to hit people with proves inordinately challenging!
  • "I'm killing time while I think of a good pun" - Jane Douglas
  • The brief digression into where the hell 47 is keeping that fish.
  • The false start on "And we're away!"
  • "Chaos is a ladder!" - Jane Douglas, on blowing up security cameras
  • The digression on 47's butt.
  • Lethal vs. nonlethal starfish.
  • Mike gets his first ever five stars...because he got four stars, and Jane awards a bonus star for taking a starfish home.
• Hitman 2: Isle of Sgail 3 Ways to Play! (Knight Armor, Iron Maiden, Ancient Necklace) Ep. 1/2:
  • Mike finds out he can hide as a suit of knight armor. So he goes out of his way to find it...and then goes on a murderous rampage with a broadsword because he can't resist not doing so.
  Mike: My insistence on playing this like Dark Souls is causing me problems, I've got to admit.
  • How does Mike kill his first target? Run at her in a crowded room with a broadsword while screaming 'Dark Souls!' and burying it in her head. He refers to this as 'Dark Soulsing her to death'. Surprisingly, this works.
  • Andy pointing out how idiotic the target is being by dismissing her guards and standing with her back to the person she's threatening...while looking into an open, functional iron maiden.
• Hitman 2: Isle of Sgail 3 Ways to Play! (Phoenix Burning, Silent Assassin, Suit of Armor) Ep. 2/2
  • Andy tries to do the funeral kill...and is disturbed by the burial mask and questions what the heck is wrong with this society and their obsession with weird masks. Then the game bugs out and leaves him pretending to be a corpse for 30 minutes while an NPC is staring at him, forcing him to reset, much to his anger. He reveals in another video that he spent eight hours trying the troubleshoot the issue in order to get a Silent Assassin run, with the only solution he found was to restart the entire level, or use an earlier save (which explains his very exasperated tone upon restarting the game).
  • Mike tries the phoenix burning kill but messes it up, causing the target to storm off...so he hits her in the head with a torch, drags her into the phoenix before blowing her up and lighting it on fire with an exploding duck. Somehow he gets off without a hitch.
  • Andy tries the phoenix burning kill...and the game freezes. Andy is understandably angry, and tells the target it's her fault because if the game hadn't froze, he would've painlessly stabbed her to death at a funeral rather than agonizingly burn her to death in a phoenix.
  • Jane decides to pull a Mike and grab a propane canister to blow up the second target...and only shoots it once, resulting in an awkward moment of the target staring at her panicked before she shoots it again and blows her up.
  • Mike decides to be Mike and go back for his suit of armour, resulting in him fleeing the level in a hail of gunfire. Because he did complete the optional side task with the Constant, this means that their final conversation before exiting the level is spent with bullets bouncing off 47's armour.

Let's Play - Hitman 3

• Hitman 3 Dubai! 3 Ways to Play!:
  • Mike commends a guard on his manners only to get sworn at when he knocks said guard out.
  Mike: He was polite. He became very much less polite when I threw a wrench at him.
  • Mike's plan for taking out his second target is to sabotage a railing so when someone leans on it, they'll plummet to their death. After a lengthy process of waiting for his target with 47 hanging by his fingers from the balcony, Carl Ingram turns up and leans on a different railing, so Mike just reaches up and pulls him over to his death...at which point the Sheikh, who is not a target, comes out and leans on the sabotaged railing.
• Hitman 3 Dartmoor! 3 Ways to Play!:
  • Mike, dressed as a mansion security guard, finds out he isn't allowed into the house.
    Mike: You know how sometimes you have an indoor dog and an outdoor dog, or an indoor cat and an outdoor cat? I'm an outdoor security; I'm not allowed inside 'cause I might pee on the rug.
  • Just before that bit:
    Jane: (also still trying to get inside) I didn't come all this way to not go in the big mansion. Andy's having a lovely time in the big mansion. Bet Mike's smashing everything.
    (Smash Cut to Mike hitting a guy with a shovel)
  • Andy's impression of Benoit Blanc.
    Andy: Theh is much that remains uncleah—but yes, I suspect foul play.
  • Mike somehow manages to get Silent Assassin, much to his own astonishment.
    Mike: Oh my god! Five stars! HOW?! How does unloading a shotgun in the office of the person who was killed count as Silent Assassin?
• Hitman 3 Berlin! 3 Ways to Play!
  • The crew get a lot of mileage out of the fashion-victim NPCs at the rave.
    Mike: (knocks out a man wearing a set of denim dungarees/overalls) 47, for the first time in his entire career, says 'No, I refuse to wear dungarees and nothing else.' Fine, 47, you want to play ball, I'll find something even more ridiculous for you to wear. Just you watch.
    • (Incidentally, Mike spends most of the episode making 47 run around in a baggy, violently pink T-shirt with the club logo on it, and an equally pink balaclava.)
    Jane: (meets a guy with bleach-blond hair, wearing only a Speedo) And there is Rutger Hauer from the end of Blade Runner! Having the time of his little Replicant life.
  • Mike's "pan-page" gets cut short when he throws the pan at a non-target, and they both fall into a canal.
    Mike: No, wait! My pan! And also the guy!
• Hitman 3 Chongqing! 3 Ways to Play!:
  • Jane pumps a room full of poison gas to kill Imogen Royce. It works, but then other people keep wandering in and dying as well.
    Jane: Don't walk into the poison room, everyone! Yikes!
  • Mike disconnects from the server right when he accesses the ICA data core.
    Mike: 47, what have you done? You've hacked the Hitman servers accidentally.
  • After spending most of the level beating people up with a fire extinguisher, Mike discovers that it can't actually extinguish fires.
  • Andy's comment when the server gets activated by 47:
    Andy: The moonraker laser is ready.
• Hitman 3 Mendoza! 3 Ways to Play!:
  • Jane on the Ship Tease between 47 and Diana:
    Jane: You could cut the tension with a knife, but I've got to go and cut some people with a knife instead.
  • Jane and Mike both photobomb a news crew on the way in, much to the reporter's annoyance.
  • Andy disguises himself as a gaucho and remarks that the belt makes 47 look like a wrestling champion.
  • Jane takes a minute to enjoy the party and show off on the dance floor.
  • Mike sees his target going out for a smoke break.
    Mike: Smoking'll kill you, lady... Well, I'll kill you while you're smoking.
  • Andy and Jane keep trying to get Diana to notice them whenever she's onscreen.
    Jane: Did you see, Diana? That was me. I know it looked like an accident, but it was me. Are you proud? Are you pleased? Is this what you wanted? Did it please you? Diana, please! Give me attention!
    
    Andy: Diana, it's me! Agent 47! From work!
  • Mike shoves Tamara off a balcony in plain sight, but gets away with it thanks to a quick change of outfit.
    Mike: That was the dumbest thing I've ever done in Hitman, and it was fine. It was absolutely fine. Which means, ladies and gents, I haven't learned my lesson at all.
  • Andy comes up with a quip about "pressing engagements" for killing Tamara with the wine press, but is too horrified by the gruesome results to finish it.
    Andy: Looks like Tamara had- OH MY GOD!
  • Jane reassures her choke-out victims:
    Jane: Don't worry; I'm not gonna kill you. I'm just gonna take your clothes and stuff you in a wardrobe!
  • Mike goes through all the effort of stealing the 1945 Grand Paladin wine just so he can clobber Don Yates over the head with it.
  • A guard tells Andy to turn a blind eye to the Providence meeting, so Andy says he'll instead think about how weird the guard's leggings are.
  • In the middle of a fight, Mike pauses to pick an appropriate wine for bludgeoning people with.
  • Mike on the results of feeding Yates into a wood chipper:
    Mike: It looks a little bit like red wine, so, you know, he'll be happy with that... probably.
  • Jane is delighted at finally getting to dance with Diana.
    Jane: Now dip her, 47! Diana, dip 47! Someone dip someone! Do a tango dip!
• Hitman 3 Final Level! ALL ABOARD THE DEATH TRAIN!
  • Jane speculates that the nightmare sequence is just a normal, pleasant dream for 47.
  • Jane and Andy suggest hiding an unconscious doctor on the same guerny where 47 woke up.
    Andy: They might think he was Agent 47 and grew a moustache and some hair while he was on the table.
  • Mike objects to Providence's medical practices.
    Mike: You can't do surgery on a train!
    Andy: Yes you can!
    Mike: It wobbles about!
    Jane: You can't do good surgery on a train.
  • Even after three Hitman games, Mike still doesn't understand how blending in works.
  • Things go south as soon as Mike finds a rusty crowbar: Instead of opening the door with it, he breaks it over a scientist's head in plain sight of a guard.
    Jane: Mike, why?! There's a guy right there!
    Andy: Now the guy's shooting you! He's right there! What is wrong with you?!
    Jane: Did you forget there was an armed guard right there?
    Mike: Yeah, I didn't realise he was there. It's fine.
    Jane: There's nowhere else for him to go! You're in a train!
  • They then have to wait for the crowbar to respawn to proceed, something which Jane calls an "Anti-Mike Measure" when they find this out.
  • Mike checks the back of the train for Easter Eggs.
    Andy: It's not Mario Brothers. There's not going to be an extra life if you go the other way.
    Mike: I want that green mushroom!
  • Andy and Jane briefly forget that the level doesn't penalise non-target kills and freak out when Mike throws a guard off the train.
  • Mike's annoyed at having to replace a valve to proceed.
    Mike: What kind of game is this?
    Andy: Hitman! You've played it dozens of times.
    Mike: It's called Hitman, not Fixman.
  • Jane encourages Mike to get 47 hit by a railway signal, and is disappointed that it just results in damage rather than a dramatic cutscene of him getting launched off the train.
  • Mike learns what it's like to play stealthily and doesn't like it.
  • Jane hopes the train is going to Dracula's castle.
  • The team speculates that the memory serum is actually Super Serum to turn other people into Agent 47.
    Jane: What happens if 47 uses it?
    Andy: He becomes double 47.
    Jane: Right. He becomes 94.
  • Mike's plan to kill the Constant is to knock him out with a flashbang, then stab him with a rusty nail. He then finds that the nails don't count as weapons and settles for throwing a screwdriver into his head.
• Hitman 3 Elusive Target "The Collector":
  • Andy's starting outfit glitches up a bit, with the bottom right part of the coat not showing up. Andy surmises it got caught in the motorcycle's wheel and torn off.
  • Mike knocks out a guard for a disguise in a very exposed location and decides not to risk moving the body.
    Mike: I'm not touching that half-naked guy ever again. [Beat] That's the title of my autobiography.
  • Mike notes how no one minds a mansion bodyguard walking around with an 18th-century sabre on his back.
  • Andy separates his target from the guard following him only to find it makes him much harder to keep track of.
  • Mike kills the target's guard with a thrown screwdriver in front of witnesses, but gets away with it because they only saw the murder and not who did it.
    Mike: The crime was noticed, but the perpetrator was not noticed! And I'm the perpetrator!
  • Jane catches her target changing his outfit.
    Jane: He changed! He changed clothes! That's my trick! He's in a bloody disguise! He's doing a 47!
  • Mike, like Andy, loses track of his target once he's been separated from the guard.
    Mike: Who knew the Elusive Target would be quite so elusive?
  • After panic-killing the target, Jane forgets to put away her fiber wire (again) and almost garottes a maid instead of subduing her, only catching herself at the last second.
    Jane: You are one lucky lady. [dumps the unconscious maid in a hamper and throws the target's corpse in on top of her]
  • Mike jumps through a window when there's a perfectly usable door nearby, confusing a butler.
  • While looking for the painting, Jane muses on what other paintings in the mansion might interest the client, 47, and herself.
  • Andy is caught off guard when his target tries to get away instead of following a loop.
    Andy: I'm sure he hasn't gotten in a car and driven away...
    Diana: Your target is leaving, 47. Get him before he escapes.
    Andy: What?! What do you mean he's leaving?
• For the pride-themed Peacock DLC, they relentlessly disappoint him by invariably taking the "wrong" options since Mike is serving as Mission Control. You would think that for the final one, where Mike is doing it and Andy is Mission Control, he would advise the sneaky option...but unfortunately the "wrong" option is a piratical cutlass, and the one thing Andy likes more than stealth mastery is pirates. Also, throughout the whole thing, Andy is gushing over 47's silver mirrored suit, pirate saber, and sniper rifle.
  Commenter: Based on that amazing suit, gun, and sword combo and the preference to go in quiet, I’m mildly suspicious that the peacock might be Andy.
  • For the first kill, Mike talks Andy into choosing explosives over the stealth weapon (a tanto), to blow up both targets simultaneously.
  Mike: Yes, Andy! Yes! How does it feeel?
• For the greed-themed Frog DLC, between confusion as to why the creature is a frog^note Greedy old toad is a dated expression, Andy attempts to play the game while Mike acts as Mission Control again, helpfully trying to goad Andy into a lot of axe murder. Andy then stealthfully kills one of his targets, and then gets insulted when an NPC steals all of the coins.
• In the "Gluttony" DLC, Andy points out that the "Profligacy Suit" (a ridiculous-looking black and gold dress suit, complete with cape) makes 47 look like David S. Pumpkins.
• Hitman 3 Garden Show—THE WORST THING I'VE EVER SEEN
  • Andy and Mike fill in some story gaps, to tie the new Dartmoor mission back to the mysterious death(s) that occurred there in the main game.
    Andy: Presumably, Alexa Carlisle having died at our hand—
    Mike: I'm amazed this event is going ahead, with all the recent murders!
    Andy: Well, because of the death duties, presumably, the family had to give the house to the National Trust.
  • The premise of the mission: eliminate Ken Takeuchi's rival artists.
    Jane: A dirty business, this competitive gardening!
    Mike: What if [Ken's design] is rubbish? How will we live with ourselves?
    Jane: Let's compare it, and judge it harshly.
    • They end up deciding that his Asian garden is very pretty and peaceful, but lacks much innovation or risk-taking in its design. Also, Jane and Mike have Andy investigate the ducks, to see if they're potential targets (or hidden explosives).
    • After learning that two out of the three judges are targets as well:
    Mike: I feel like someone might just guess that there's been foul play at this point.
  • Andy has figured out how to mimic 47's quietly sinister voice—not just in tone, but in volume so that it blends in with the game dialogue.
    Andy: (standing behind a selfie-obsessed NPC) "I'm an influencer."
    Jane: "It's my first day."
    Andy: (hovering around the final target, Sebastian Sato) "Just a couple of fashionable bros."
  • The titular "Worst Thing": while one target is throwing up into a portable toilet^note  some poison got into his hookah tobacco, we have no idea how, an NPC walks over and pees into the same toilet. (Judging by the characters clipping into each other, this was a bug.)
    Jane: Oh, he's gonna hold his hair back for him.
    (he doesn’t)
    Andy: What is he doi— oh my god! Dude, that is so uncool of you!
    Mike: (as the NPC leaves) Drown him now! Put him out of his misery. Do it! Do it!
    Andy: I'm sorry to drown you in that, mate. (does it anyway)
    Mike: Oh, no. Andy, I can’t believe you’ve done this.

Xmas Challenges

• Andy attempts to explain the offside rule in "FIFA '15 Giant Killing".
  Andy: When a mummy football and a daddy football love each other very much...
• In Overwatch Basketball, once Jane has succeeded in placing the ball in the hoop using Symmetra's gravity gun, they start celebrating: Mike as Mei tries to "chill the booze" with the freeze ray (the bottle breaks), Andy does a very ineffectual celebratory ultimate (as McCree, his ult only works if there are enemies nearby), and Jane grabs a bunch of random junk and dumps it on top of the hoop.
• In the tiebreaker GTA Online Battle Royale challenge:
  • Mike doesn't think too highly of Jane's and Andy's attempt at Enemy Mine.
  Mike: Sure, you guys team up. You guys just resist the urge to kill each other for like...ten seconds.
  • Mike's plan isn't much better.
  Mike: My plan relies on appealing to the better nature of the other GTA players.
  Andy: Oh god, that's the worst thing I've ever heard.
  • As Jane emerges as victor of the challenge, she decides to revoke Christmas forever so she can remain the Christmas champion for all time. Andy, who won last year, is distraught that he hadn't done that earlier.
  • Jane tells Andy, "Have a headshot!" and then snipes him in his groin. OUCH. Wrong head, Jane!
• In a Grand Theft Auto Online challenge, Luke and Ellen are challenged to a bicycle race up Mount Chilead.
  • Luke is attempting to climb up the mountain when he hears the sound of a jet. He pivots the camera in time enough to see a jumbo jet fall to the ground. Later commenters called it the most impossibly British way to worry about a jet flying towards you.
  Luke: Okay, this could be a problem.
  • After Luke respawns, he cycles up the mountain, only to realize he cycled up the wrong one, leading to corpsing for several minutes.
  • During Ellen's run, she hears a chopper, and has to outrun another player trying to skewer her on the blades.
• Watch_Dogs 2 Dog Petting Challenge:
  • The opening has Mike dancing on the sofa above Luke and Ellen, which they find rather disconcerting.
  • There is a metric ton of Cuteness Proximity. Ellen in particular does a lot of cooing.
  • After the second dog he pets gives Luke a little high-five, Luke robs a bystander with hacking and tries to transfer the cash to the dog. It doesn't work.
  • For the fifth dog, Luke has to physically barge an NPC out of the way to pet the dog.
    Luke: Out of the way! Let me pet your dog.
    Ellen: This is what it's like being out in public with Luke.
  • Luke gets distracted by a busker.
  • They confuse a gardener for a dog, briefly.
    Luke: Can I pet...no.
    Ellen: That would be weird.
  • Luke at one point crashes a car in order to get out and pet a dog in time.
    Ellen: Why did you crash?
    Luke: Hello, dog. I just shattered my spine to meet you.
  • Luke gets a bit salty when Ellen uses fast-travel.
• Fallout 4 Nude Elder Punching: Because they're using Andy's save file, and he and the Brotherhood of Steel are thick as thieves, Mike needs to beat seven bells out of Lancer Captain Kells before everyone actually goes hostile.
• Red Dead Redemption Drunk Walking:

  Andy: Look at that glorious winner there!
  [slightly pixelated close-up of John Marston lying spreadeagled in the street]

• The Sims 4 sim-killing time trial has Jane getting distracted by how well the role of Christmas Elf fits Ellen, stating that it's a pity Ellen can't wear the Christmas hat all year round without looking insane because it really suits her. Ellen handles this with her typical aplomb.
• Star Wars: Battlefront 2 Yoda Lightsaber Chaos: Mike expresses frustration that he's playing a muppet, and muppets don't have a lot of killing power. Andy raises the most pertinent counterexample: Miss Piggy. Mike immediately concedes the point.
• In WWE 2K18, Mike isn't sure where they're putting the scores, so he points at random. They then have the scores loop and spiral around, while Mike and Luke joke about how much the CGI for that will cost.
  • In the third episode of the 2017 Xmas challenge, Jane complements Ellen on how well she pulls off an elf hat, and laments that she would look like a crazy person if she wore it any other time in the year.
• During the The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild "Deer-race to Kakariko Village" Challenge, Ellen has a...bit...of trouble.
  • Ellen's attempt to capture deer leads them to commit suicide by drowning in the river.
  • Ellen tries to shield surf, only to have the deer ram her into a tree, and then de-spawn into the tree.
  • Ellen finally gets her stride by sneaking up on a stag carefully...only to hit the Y button by mistake and slice the deer in two.
  Cue Deep Breathing Exercises
  • When it's Luke's go, he decides to sing a song to himself while stealthily approaching a deer, with lyrics that make him sound like the giddiest serial murderer ever.
  Luke: Oh deer, be still, be calm, and quiet. While I sneak up on your haunches.
  • The appearance of "Christmas Magic Mike."
  Mike: Let's just say, the hat isn't on my head.
  Luke: Christmas is cancelled!
  Ellen: (take a wild guess)
• In the FIFA 18 Giant Killing Challenge, Jane and Andy notice that one of the League Two teams appears to have a prawn or shrimp as its mascot^note Morecambe F.C, FYI, and technically the mascot is actually a shrimp, and try to badger Mike into picking that one. When he refuses and chooses a better-performing team, they proceed to act as if that team was "The Shrimps", despite Mike's protests that his actual team^note Mansfield Town has a much-cooler stag as its mascot.
• Luke's attempt at travelling from Mount Josiah to Mount Chilead in GTA 5 in the final OxTra Christmas challenge. It takes him twenty-five minutes, and everything calamitous that could possibly go wrong ends up going wrong in the worst possible way. Although he doesn't exactly help himself by repeatedly insisting on taking "short cuts" that turn out to be nothing of the kind and apparently believing that any vehicle is capable of driving up the sheer side of a mountain if you just try hard enough.
• In the 2017 Xmas Charades part 2, Andy has a couple of minutes of raw hilarity. First, he gets Prey (2017) and, rather than actually miming praying, does an elaborate display of reenacting the entire game, to Mike's confusion. Then, he gets Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning and, instead of doing anything related to the title, opts to simply point at Ellen. When Mike doesn't get it despite this, Andy gets extremely snide about it.
• Red Dead Redemption II Hat Shooting Challenge: After successfully de-hatting ten people, Mike celebrates by...loudly proclaiming that it's time to ruin his shirt and having his player character leap off a roof into the mud while Andy demands to know what the hell he's doing.
• Skyrim Rocket Boot Challenge: The opening of the video involves Kippers appearing on horseback in midair, falling down to the ground, bouncing, and only taking damage when his movement actually stops. Then, when Kippers respawns, the horse starts climbing into the sky once more. Bethesda, everyone!
  • After Luke's second attempt, he notices an enemy nearby...and it's a frost troll they've encountered in previous Skyrim videos.
    Luke: HELL IS EMPTY AND ALL THE DEMONS ARE HERE!
• Grand Theft Auto V Online Observatory Road Race:
  • All of Luke driving like crazy.
  • All of Ellen reacting to Luke driving like crazy.
  • Luke spends much of the early part of his race receiving inconveniently timed cell phone calls and messing up his fancy-looking car while insisting that everything is fine.
  • Luke laments that it's hard to do this at night, and Ellen points out that it's because he's wrecked his headlights. Later, on the way back to the starting line, Luke crashes into another wall:
    Luke: Aww, my headlights are gone.
    Ellen: (exasperated) Yes, Luke.
  • At one point Luke consults his map while speeding along the road. GTA 5 doesn't pause when you consult the map.
  • Luke hasn't played GTA 5 for a while, so he manages to come off second best in a fistfight with an NPC immediately after getting out of the car.
  • Luke manages to get a bounty and a wanted rating on the way back to the starting line, which makes Ellen very upset, particularly when she gets gunned down.
  • Luke is bewildered by the concept that not crashing into things at maximum speed may be better for your time than racing everywhere with the accelerator pushed all the way to the floor.
    Luke: And your car's not on fire! How'd you do that?
  • Luke insists that he only made one mistake. It's not specified if "driving like a swivel-eyed lunatic" was the mistake in question or not, but it's not hard to infer.
• Red Dead Redemption II Horse Landing Challenge: Andy has sort of forgotten the classic reindeer lineup.
  Andy: On Dasher, on Dancer, on...Steven and Geoffrey, on...
  Jane: Nixon.
  Andy: On Nixon, and Rixon, and Rick and Morty...
• Soul Calibur VI Rudolph Rumble Challenge: Mike's efforts in the character creator end up producing "Bondage Rudolph" - a muscular man in a skimpy outfit who happens to have antlers and a big red nose. Then they start looking through the pose options...
  Jane: It's covering his whole deal.
  Andy: You mean his antlers, I hope.
  the next preset has Rudolph's "whole deal" very much on display as he writhes toward the camera
  Jane: oh nooo
  Mike: Such weird movements!
  he changes to another preset
  Andy: It's worse somehow!
  ...
  Jane: (as Rudolph goes into a breakdancing pose before presenting his abs to the sky) Do a nice picture for Grandma, I insist!
• Luke and Ellen getting incredibly, absurdly, maniacally intense over a game of Connect Four in A Way Out. The video resembles two chess masters staring each other down, only it's Connect Four. For comparison sake, the Outside Xbox Xmas Challenge released on the same day involved Jane playing Hitman, beating up Santa, stealing his suit, and murdering two people... and everyone in the comments agreed that the game of Connect Four was somehow more intense.
• The horrifying/adorable pack of hungry Kirbies in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Killer Kirby Survival Challenge.
  Luke: It's like a swarm of angry Skittles.
• All of the riffing at the Peel P50's expense in Forza Horizon 4 Slowmobile Challenge.
  Andy: Mike, what the hell is this?
  Mike: Andy, this is a 1962 Peel P50.
  Jane: That's part of a car.
  Andy: A stupid joke car.
  Jane: Not even a large part of a car.
  Mike: It is the sort of thing you'd expect four clowns to get out of.
  Andy: It's like a thing you'd see in a shopping mall.
  Jane: Oh, you'd put 50p in and...
  Andy: Put 50p in and you go back and forth, yeah.
• Red Dead Redemption II Pikachu-Drawing Challenge: Once the Pikachus have been finished, Andy launches into a faux-highbrow Contemplate Our Navels speech about the nature of art, which reduces both Luke and Ellen to hysterical giggling by the end of the first sentence. Even Andy can't keep a straight face the whole time. Subsequently, when he awards the win to Ellen, she literally squeals with joy at having finally won in a Pikachu-drawing contest and runs over to give Andy a hug, before donning the challenge stocking to commemorate her victory.
  Luke: In 2019 I'll be back for Christmas revenge, which is the best thing to do at Christmas.
• Red Dead Redemption II Bear Hunt: Mike spends fifteen minutes of video and God knows how long in-game trying to lure a bear with predator bait, only for a bear to rush out of the forest, maul him for a bit and vanish into a fog bank, leading to some very drawn-out tracking before Mike kills it with one Molotov.
  Andy: What a horrifying end to Christmas.
• In FIFA Giant Killing 2020, between the Harry Potter references (since Jane's team are in Gryffindor red and gold and her opponents are in Slytherin green) and Jane's insistence that she hasn't ratified the offside rule, it starts becoming a little difficult to keep track of how you play the actual game!
  Andy: He somehow gave himself a Stone Cold Stunner.
  • Jane is legitimately indignant when she learns of "the offside trap"^note basically when the opposing defence tries to lure an attacker into an offside position to prevent them from legitimately scoring a goal that the opposing team has lured her into and rails at length at the injustice of this being considered a valid and legal move in football, regardless of Andy and Mike trying to point out that the whole point of them doing it is to try and prevent Jane from otherwise scoring goals.
    Jane: They're trying to make me— Why?! That's so mean!
    Mike: [Trying to hold back giggles] To prevent you from scoring.
    Jane: But why?!
    Andy: [Not bothering trying to hold back giggles] They don't want you to score! Because then they'll lose the game of football that you're having!
    Jane: That's unfair!
• In "Madden 20 Touchdown Challenge", the team are so lacking in knowledge of the rules and tactics of American Football that at several points they seem to be winning a game without having any clue of how they're doing so. The sheer bewilderment and utter confusion is hilarious.
• "Sea of Thieves Burn the Boat Challenge:"
  • Ellen is Jane's Elf on the Shelf, watching and silently judging.
  • One of the things in the challenge stocking is a satsuma, which Jane lobs offscreen.
    Andy: Ow!
  • "'Sea of Thieves Burn the Boat Challenge?' I love burning things!" - Jane
  • When Jane says it's going to be a cinch, Ellen corrects her: it's going to be a singe.
  • "Not now, skeleton!"
  • Jane's completely nonsensical explanation for how this is like a game of chess.
  • They pick up "barrybeebenson" as an ally, and he turns out to be The Load, missing his shots and setting the sails really weirdly.
    Andy: Barry, I loaded the cannon for you, I did literally everything for you except fire it, Barry.
    Jane: Oh, You Have Failed Me for the last time, Barry.
  • The eventual winning strategy is for Jane to fire herself out of a cannon into the sea and hurl firebombs from the water into the back of a ship.
• "Pokémon Sword and Shield Catch 'em All Challenge":
  • The new spin-on-the-spot option renders Ellen incoherent with joy.
  • Luke laments that usually in Pokemon he has a really hard time fighting things, and now that there's a challenge about catching things, the mons on his team suddenly turn into unstoppable engines of war.
  • Luke takes exception with the game design:
    Some of these animations. They don't move any limbs. It's like a JPEG wiggling around.
    Don't use Hypnosis! DON'T USE HYPNOSIS! The animation is really long!
  • Luke gets half his team wiped by a passing Bewear...which then knocks itself out with recoil damage before he can catch it.
    Luke: NOOOOOO!
  • Luke's cheerful little Extrasensory song:
    Kill Pikachu's soul! Snap it in half!
  • Ellen shrieks in irritation when she accidentally hits "Run".
  • Ellen sweet-talking a Bewear into joining up. It works.
• GTA Online Race from Mount Chiliad:
  • Luke's cheery summary of last time.
    I got hit by a jet!
  • "You know me, I'm a cautious man" - Leadfoot Luke Westaway, a man who spent an entire GTA Online race with the pedal pushed all the way to the floor while driving along streets in the dark with the map open but without headlights.
  • Ellen brings up the time Luke climbed the wrong mountain. Luke is unamused.
  • Luke's subsequent demontrations of caution include attempting to hijack cars by blazing away at them with an assault rifle, accidentally taking his car on multiple jumps because he was distracted by the cops, and falling down a hill while behind the wheel.
  • Luke goes offroad and gets his car wedged in a thing.
    Luke: This is faster because the police aren't - [gets stuck]
  • Luke's cool jump off the end lands him on a lower part of the pier like something out of Johnny English.
  • Ellen gets into a fender-bender four seconds after stealing a new car.
  • Ellen Keeps Her Eye On The Prize:
    Ooh, I've seen that rock in real life!
  • Luke keeps providing Ellen with bad, if cool, advice like some sort of shoulder devil.
  • Luke is reduced to frantically begging for someone to report Ellen to the cops.
• Kingdom Hearts III Frozen Slider Sled Race:
  • Their Disney imitations.
    Ellen: Gawrsh.
    Luke: Well, in the words of Donald Duck, (note-perfect impression of Donald throwing an incoherent hissy fit)
  • Ellen gives "and Goofy" an extremely dignified tone for no apparent reason.
  • "Sora, Donald, and Goof[Sound-Effect Bleep]kyourself" - Luke
  • "The scoring seems as incomprehensible as Kingdom Hearts"
  • They both get very snotty with the characters critiquing their driving, including Luke calling out Goofy's hat.
  • Ellen at one point laments that she's getting so many rewards she can't see the screen, which is probably one of the best problems to have!
  • Having managed a massive score off a No-Damage Run, Ellen starts triumphantly belting out "Let it Go".
  • The sound of an athlete limbering up.
  • This bit:
    Ellen: Do you wanna build a snowman?
    Luke: (seething) ...Okay, fine.
• WWE 2K20 Santa Battle Royale Challenge:
  • When Andy seems disappointed that it's Ellen bringing the challenge rather than Santa himself, Ellen and Jane sit down to badmouth him on camera. And Ellen can't even do that effectively.
  • "I do like the sexy lederhosen."
  • Selecting "Ribbie" at random. Mike comments that he's been skipping leg day and focusing entirely on head day.
  • Jane has no idea what she's doing here.
  • All the jokes about a Groin Attack.
    Mike: Ooh, right in the jingle bells!
  • Andy tries and fails to be magnanimous.
    I think we're all winners this year, but in a more real sense, I am.
  • "Big comeback from whoever Cole Quinn is."
  • The final fight, between two AI wrestlers, takes about nine years.
  • Andy's entire attempt to replace Christmas with Andymas.
• In the Phasmaphobia ghost-death challenge, Andy is tasked with getting killed by a ghost called Richard Harris in under ten minutes. After trying everything during the allotted time and failing to provoke any kind of response from the ghost, the frustrated team decide that they're not finishing the video until Andy gets killed. So what is it, in the end, that provokes Richard Harris's unholy wrath from beyond the grave? It's when Andy and Jane start singing Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You".
• In the Red Dead Online Horse race challenge:
  • The challenge starts with Andy having Mike's corpse on his horse. Apparently, Mike was trying to molest Andy's horse. Mike declares that he isn't: He was just standing very close...to the horse's butt. Andy then picks up Mike's corpse and throws it on the ground. Jane asks if he did that because he's concerned it would slow the horse down, but Andy says if he left it there, Mike would say that technically, his body crossed the finish line at the same time and it would be a tie.
  Mike: Yeah, I would do that.
  • Mike, realizing his horse is of poor quality, he decides to steal someone else's. Mike is rewarded by being shot and trampled.
  • After finally managing to secure a wagon, Mike finds some difficulty with the wagon's large turning curve, prompting him to exclaim "This game!" in frustration. The other two immediately point out that his poor performance thus far cannot be entirely put down to the game.
  • Further ahead, Jane is constantly feeding her horse pears and hay to keep it happy. Andy, meanwhile, is using horse stimulant. Eventually, Jane decides to use stimulants, and becomes disturbed by how soothingly she whispers as she injects it.
  • After Andy wins, Jane tries to hogtie him. Mike comes over to help as Andy breaks free, only to punch Jane. And then Mike strangles Andy to death.
• In "Among Us Hide and Seek Speed Rampage", Luke at one point gives Andy advice that leads him directly into the waiting knife of impostor Ellen. Andy gets very salty about it, including calling Ellen over to his corpse because Luke is near it.
• FIFA 22 Giant Killing Challenge: Jane runs into the minor problem early on that for some reason the control settings have been switched between modes, meaning that Mike ended up telling her the wrong button for attempting to shoot. Naturally, they conclude that this was a diabolical attempt at sabotage, which has been thwarted by checking the controls...even though Mike is the one who realised something was wrong and checked the controls in the first place.
• Home Run for the Holidays Challenge: The challenge is to get a home run in MLB: The Show within ten minutes. Mike tested it and had a hard time. Andy, on the other hand, seems to have a preternatural gift for timing in MLB: The Show, since he sends the ball blazing into the stands on his second try. Mike is so upset that he demands Andy repeat the achievement, twice, which he does. Ultimately Mike concludes that his mistake was to put in a challenge that only required pressing one button. For bonus points, while reading the card Andy had been insisting that he knows all about bases, right down to how the bases being loaded means they come with sour cream.
• Sailing Home for Xmas, in which Andy must sail to an outpost in Sea of Thieves while having a flag hoisted telling everyone where he is and picking a fight. After careful sailing avoiding people, Andy makes it to the final outpost, however, he is not close enough, and Mike has forbidden setting foot in the water. So Andy fires himself out of a cannon.
• In the Chivalry 2 Duel challenge between Andy and Ellen, Jane adjudicates the duel. After Andy wins, he backstabs and decapitates Jane, causing a random person to pick up her head in triumph, then throw it at Ellen.
• From the Stray Paw-fect Football Challenge, Andy, controlling the cat, just can't get it to bat the ball in the right direction. As he keeps pressing the prompts at the wrong time, causing the cat to turn on the radio, claw at the carpet and put its head in a bag, an increasingly frantic Andy devolves into anguished shouting before he finally outright rage quits and threatens to delete the game off Ellen's console. It's beautiful.
  Andy (as Luke dies on camera and Ellen dies off camera): WHY'S HE GOT A BAG ON HIS HEAD!? THE CONTROLS ARE ALL WRONG! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF GAME IS THIS!?
  • As of August 2023, Andy still hasn't forgiven the game for 'betraying' him.
• "Elden Ring Buttstomp Challenge": If the basic concept of the challenge being "kill goats with the butt slam" wasn't comedic enough for you, Luke learns the hard way that the area has not been entirely prepared for the challenge when he runs into Ancient Dragon Lansseax.
• "Starfield Nude Mayor Punching Challenge":
  • When they're riffing about alternate names for FIFA games like "EA Presents: Generic_Football_Game001" or "EA Presents: Legball," Luke says, and immediately and obviously regrets saying, "EA Presents: The Joy of Feet."
    Andy: Pick a card, you deviant.
    Luke: ...Starfield Nude Mayor Punching Challenge.
    Corpsing ensues from all directions, including both Ellen and Jane from offscreen
  • When receiving the instructions for the challenge, Andy feels the need to specify to Luke that he should take all his clothes off in the game.
  • "I put it to you that there is no video game nightclub that feels adequately crowded," says Jane, before accepting Andy's example of Hitman.
  • For this iteration of the Nude Mayor Punching, the first problem isn't getting people to go hostile, it's getting naked, because when Jane unequips her Starfield character's regular clothes, the game automatically applies the spacesuit. The second problem is getting through the door.
  • The coin rolls under the table for the flip. As Andy points out, it's 50 pence, so it's not even round.
  • Luke decides that his strategy is to move in a way Todd Howard never expected.
  • Luke gets a bit carried away and punches civilians, party members, and "Adoring Fan," who barely notices.
  • Andy opens his round by jumping up and down and proclaiming it to be a new dance called "the Jane", which ends when he accidentally decks a civilian and ends up having to restart so that he can actually start the challenge!
  • After punching the mayor and getting stuck in the door, Andy gets arrested and taken to prison, which works so well that he ends up punching a guard just to make the challenge work within the spirit of the thing.
    Andy: Going to prison is a speedrun strat!
  • Luke proposes adding the hours spent in jail in-universe to Andy's time.

Livestreams

• Mario Odyssey Livestream: A commenter asks the team what their favourite The Legend of Zelda game (besides Breath of the Wild) is. It turns out that certain members have very strong opinions on the subject:
  Mike: Link to the Past is best, surely?
  Luke: No, Mike!
  Mike: Link to the Past, though!
  Luke: Mike, come on!
  Mike: Link to the Past!
  Andy: No.
  Luke: Be serious.
  Mike: [Intense] LINK. TO THE PAST.
  [There is much giggling by this point]
  Andy: Stop saying Link to the Past! It's not Link to the Past!
  Jane: I got four words for you, Andy!
  Jane and Luke: Link... To... The... pa...
  Luke: What were we talking about?
• Friday 13th Livestream
  • At one point during the gang's first playthrough as Jason in Friday the 13th: The Game, the game crashes while they're chasing a player dressed as a "Sexy Chad", causing them to freeze right in front of a door. "Sexy Chad" takes the opportunity to taunt them by doing increasingly provocative and bold sexy dance moves, much to their combined frustration, chagrin and amusement.
    Mike: How do we top that?
    Luke: I suppose we've just got to find some way of stumbling through the rest of our lives...
  • In their next playthrough as Jason, they're a lot more successful at butchering the teens, and at one point corner one who tries to flee... only to discover in the final kill animation that it's "Sexy Chad". Gloating ensues.
    Andy: Well, look who it is...
    Mike: Not so sexy-dancing now, are you?
• In the Metal Gear Survive livestream, Mike finds it difficult to find a route to a waypoint through an abandoned, ruined base. Andy asks if there's a door, to which Mike replies in the negative. After discovering plans to make a crowbar, the team decide that this must be what's needed to get to the waypoint, prompting Mike to take an extended, lengthy journey back to the base, which is interrupted by his character running low on food, which in turn leads him to starve to death when no more animals can be found. Eventually, Mike finds some rations, builds a crowbar, journeys back to the base, tries to use it on some rubble... and fails. And then, when he moves back through into the corridor, he spots a door right next to where Andy had asked if there was a door.
• F1 2018 Live! Outside Xbox Plays F1 2018:
  • "Mike, this is so easy!" ~ Jane Douglas, literally as she crashes an F1 car into a wall.
  • In fact, pretty much all of Jane's attempt at driving an F1 car.
• In the December 17, 2018 Super Smash Bros. Ultimate livestream, Jane accidentally turns Kirby yellow while they're playing as a team of pink adorable things. This leads to a weird digression on Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, turning into Kirby, and inhaling all of the others.
• During this Super Mario Party stream, things rapidly devolve into madness when Luke, Jane and Andy decide that Monty Mole must be poisoned literally all the time at all costs. At one point Jane is instructing Luke that he should follow Andy's instructions in a 3-on-1 minigame...when Andy is on the other side.
• And again in this stream, also Mario Party, in which Luke rapidly accumulates multiple stars.
  Luke: (in a heartwarming tone) The real stars were the friends I lost along the way.
• In the Dark Souls remaster where Luke beats the Final Boss and takes the "Dark Lord" ending, there's enough of a break between the end of the fight and the final cutscene that Luke has time to dress up in a ridiculous selection of garments, topped off by what Johnny Chiodini dubs "this fetching hessian sack", before accidentally triggering the cutscene.
• Their entire Gang Beasts display at EGX Rezzed 2019. Overlooking that Gang Beasts is already a game about strange floppy jelly creatures ineptly wrestling (most notable, Ellen wins at least two rounds by doing nothing and allowing the others to fall off or get left behind by themselves), the commentary is also golden:
  Luke: (as a dinosaur) Leave me alone, I'm a scientifically significant discovery!
  Mike: DON'T WALK ON ME!
  Andy: No, that's my hat, that's my hat.
  Luke: No! Meat! Meat! NOOOOO!
  Mike: Let Us Never Speak of This Again.
  Luke: No, no, no, get me out of the grinder!
  Andy: I think you'd like it in the grinder!
  Luke: Well, I think you'd like it in the grinder!
  Andy: NOOOO, MY HAT, IT'S IN THE GRINDER
  Ellen: I live here now.
  Ellen: (angry squeaks)
  Luke: I've got a cone, I've got a cone, everybody.
  All: (humming Duel of the Fates while Luke and Andy fight with traffic cones)
  Luke: I need to time it right! (completely misses the train and ends up falling into the tracks)
  Mike: You want your hat back? You want your hat back? Go get it! (throws the hat off the tower)
  Mike: I'm getting off this stupid wheel, it's dumb. (floor gives way underneath him) Oh no!
  Andy: I'm going to see if I can make my way across to Ellen the coward.
  Luke: I thought I'd do something cool at that point, that was the plan.
  Mike: You're not supposed to have a strategy! That's not how this game works!
  Mike and Luke: (clinging desperately to the edge of cracking ice) Near... far... wherever you are...
  Luke: We're gonna pull Ellen in half!
  Ellen: I'm free! I'M FREE!
  Luke: Let's all jump off at the same time and see who - [pitches the other two over the side]
  Ellen: Well, I grabbed you, and then I don't know what happened.
  Luke: Headbutted unconscious and slid off a blimp!
  Andy: Kill him, kill him, no don't kill me...
  Andy: With the paternal hand on my shoulder, like, "One day, son, you'll fight in an elevator."
  Luke: Ellen and I will just have to take both of you out. It's like The Hunger Games.
  Mike: That is not how the Hunger Games works!
  Mike: My poor cat brain.
  Luke: Well, I don't know what an AJ Styles is.
  Luke: PULL HIM IN HALF LIKE IT'S ANCIENT ROME!
  Ellen: I'm really regretting teaching them the controls.
• Another Gang Beasts outing, this time a livestream, featured Jane getting a little too in-character as Granny Murder:
  Jane: I've buried nine husbands and now I'm going to bury you!
• Yet more Gang Beasts when they did a tournament for EGX Rezzed Digital.
  • The whole thing started with them accidentally setting the online game to Open and getting slaughtered by randos. Then Mike couldn't find a setting to turn off the randos. Then chat yelled about how to turn off the randos.
  • After Andy explains his wrestling backstory, Ellen explains her motivation as "I'm a penguin."
  • Andy explodes with rage when a rando wins the first proper round on a technicality.
  • The camera is locked to Mike unless he's been knocked out, which regularly means that vicious brawls are unfolding in places where none of the brawlers can actually see what's going on while Mike desperately clings to an edge.
  • Ellen gets her first win stricken for "egregious unsportspersonlike conduct", namely using a strategy and not just joining in a huge melee immediately.
  • There's a lengthy diversion while Mike and Jane try to pick up Andy's hat and throw it into the sea.
  • Every new stage prompts sounds of despair and frustration from the OX crew.
  • At one point Andy strikes a victory pose for something like a minute while waiting for Jane's Gang Beast to fall off a wall.
  • Andy's character is eventually dubbed "Red Hatman".
  • At one point, Mike is posing on top of a shipping container and Ellen's penguin just pops into frame behind him.
  • When Jane and Andy are the only Beasts left, they bow to each other before the fight. The resultant brawl is amazingly drawn out, including more last-second reversals than a game of Uno, and ends up a draw. This happens twice (one goes to time, one they both fall in front of a train and die simultaneously).
    Jane: That was the most Gang Beasts I've ever Gang Beasted.
  • Ellen drags Mike into the path of a train, without budgeting enough time to get out herself. Twice.
    Mike: When has that strategy ever worked?!
  • The out-of-context quote game remains strong.
    Jane: The ghost of Thatcher is haunting our game lobby, or something.
    Andy: Just go before someone joins!
    Everyone but Ellen: Headbutt the penguin!
    Ellen: Is it really a victory without your hat, though?
    Andy: Riding you like a pool floatie over to the iceberg.
    Andy: What you didn't see there was Ellen and I got dragged into a fan and minced.
    Andy: It's a prescription hat!
    Mike: We've just become a writhing Gang Beast morass.
    Andy: Granny Murder's hero bicep pose.
    Andy: Cat sausage for dinner.
    Jane: Penguin sausage for dessert!
    Mike: I don't hate success, I just hate your success.
    Jane: TPE: Total Party Ellening.
    Mike: There's only room for one adorable creature in this match, and it's me.
    Andy: I said, go in the fire, Granny!
    Jane: So much physics happening right now.
    Andy: Oh, the Humanity!! Oh, the penguinanity!
    Andy: I want to honour her by making her into a sausage!
    Jane: Granny off the top rope! [misses]
    Andy: Get off my beard! GET OFF MY BEARD!
    Andy: Sudden death! By which I mean Granny will suddenly die.
    Jane: Spider-Gran, Spider-Gran, does whatever a spider can...
    Mike: I'm knocked out! That's not how it's supposed to go!
    Andy: If anyone asks what Rezzed is, it's this.
• In response to the Assassin's Creed: Valhalla reveal, Luke bemoans the fact the English are being invaded by the Vikings, yet are presented as villains, blaming it on the accent.
• Metacritic Worst Game Challenge: Andy Vs Mike:
  • By the nature of the competition, there's some confusion over whether the person with the worst game collection could be considered to have "won".
    Jane: Whoever wins, they both lose.
  • They conclude that this game is better than both golf and basketball.
  • They refrain from flipping a coin because all of Jane's coins are out of arm's reach and she can't be bothered getting up.
  • The first game is a tie because they both picked Fighter Within...
  • ...And the third only isn't a tie because Andy picked the wrong game, choosing You're In The Movies instead of Yoostar 2: In The Movies.
  • Relatedly, every time they refer to Andy's third pick as Urine: The Movie.
    Andy: Jane, please! Stop talking about urine!
  • One of Andy's picks, Secret Service, is so obscure that Metacritic doesn't even have enough reviews of it to reach a judgment. They remain unconvinced that it's even real and propose that Andy just wrote the reviews himself and put together a fake game disc.
  • One of Mike's picks rates a 69.
  • Andy mentions that he might be in for a spot of difficulty because one of his picks is a triple-A game and reviewers are only allowed to score them between six and nine. Because that pick is Too Human they end up proposing that a containment team is coming via Fortnite bus to destroy it.
  • Jane describes the halfway point as being the bit where they go offscreen and eat an orange and the coach brings you a towel and rubs your shoulder.
    Jane: I don't know anything about sports.
  • The similar decisions continue with Andy's sixth pick, which was Mike's fifth.
  • Meanwhile Mike's sixth pick is a winter sports title that he doesn't even remember ever buying, and there's some speculation that it's cursed and appeared in his collection one night. It's so obscure that they end up digging through the internet to find a review on Gamesradar because Metacritic doesn't even have reviews for Jane to average. Mike spends most of the time talking smack about biathletes and triathletes.
    Andy: The pros are "good snowboarding", "it's well-meaning" and "you'll like it if you enjoy being angry"; cons: "the living hell of the biathlon", "only eight events" and "being angry isn't fun for most of us".
  • History: Legends of War is so easily forgotten that even though they played it on their channel, Andy proposes Mike played it with his other friends, Andy Samberg and Jane Austen. Even commenters forget about it.
  • Andy calls Call of Juarez: The Cartel one of the most racist games he owns. Mike reminds us that it's also sexist.
  • Mike keeps gambling by picking games that he really likes but he thinks reviewers will hate. In this case it's Deadly Premonition, a game that Andy describes as what you'd get if someone woke you in the middle of the night, demanded that you describe Twin Peaks to them, and then make a game based on that.
  • Immediately after Mike's gamble doesn't pay off, leaving him with a 68/100 (not quite the highest score but certainly a bad result), Andy then tries to cement his lead by bringing out Duke Nukem Forever.
  • When Andy cracks that DNF should have been a DNR, Jane suspiciously asks him if he wrote a review and that was in it.
  • Mike delivers a stinging Take That! to Randy Pitchford.
  • The increasingly breast-related commentary on Pitchford's "dual bell curve" model, culminating in Jane dubbing the exact middle the "numerical cleavage".
  • Andy goes straight from being smug about DNF to wincing in pain as Mike trots up with Blackwater. It scores a 37, a stunning disaster and one that puts Mike right back into the game despite his big loss. Andy proposes that the few unambiguously positive reviews are motivated by fear.
  • Andy knows he's in serious trouble when Mike fronts up with Ride to Hell: Retribution as his final outing. The fear is justified; Ride to Hell: Retribution has an incredibly low Metacritic score of 19.
• "Golf With Your Friends Xbox Challenge: Who Is Best at Golf? Jane vs Mike vs Andy!" has Andy, Mike and Jane playing several rounds of hard miniature golf style gameplay, complete with the three of them using complete nonsense words to describe shot power. Mike is also pounding back several beers, and he just gets more hilarious as it goes along.
• "Lost in Translation Game Title Challenge! Jane vs Mike vs Andy" has Jane complain about the motto of the school from Bully - Canis Canem Edit, or Dog Eat Dog, saying it sounded too evil to be a school motto. Then, during a break later in the stream, she reads out a comment from a commenter whose school motto was a caligula quote 'Let them Hate, So Long As They Fear'. Cue Jane changing her mind on evil mottoes:
  Jane: Did you go to a school for supervillains? (beat) Because I want in.
• "Bloodborne Gameplay: Luke Plays Bloodborne For The First Time":
  • Luke's reasoning behind not giving his character glasses.
  Luke: You don't get glasses on the mean streets of Victorian London, you either grow up short-sighted or you don't grow up at all! [Beat] That's total nonsense, what am I talking about?
  • After the Father Gascoigne fight, you run into one of the game's more notable Tear Jerkers as your Hunter is found in the unenviable position of having to tell a little girl that her mother isn't coming back. After listening to the distraught child with a sad expression, Luke awkwardly tries to ask for some kind of quest reward, as is tradition.
  • During the fourth instalment, Luke is right in the middle of getting smug about how good he is at anticipating attacks when he gets clobbered, forcing him to wrap up his little spiel with "and also, ow."
  • Luke enjoys the game, but has Issues with the setting, to the point where the word "horrible" pops up like twenty times a stream.
    Luke: "What I like most about ''Bloodborne'' is the strange beauty of the world of Yharnam." It's an on-fire horse, people! This world is horrible.
  • Luke showing off his pipes during the Cainhurst stream, with things like his improvised "hello everything in Bloodborne" ditty or his haunted-castle rework of "Be Our Guest".
    Luke: They are ghosts, they are bad, they are trying to...stab...
  • Luke's first sight of a Slime Scholar.
    Luke: That's going to be a hard pass from me.
  • Luke riffing on a line from Game of Thrones.
    Luke: What do we tell the God of Death? No thank you, please, sir!
    Luke: What do we tell the God of Death? I'm busy today! Washing my hair!
    Luke: What do we say to the God of Death? Poke you with an axe!
    Luke: What do we say to the God of Lasers? Not today!
  • Once Luke discovers that Vileblood Hunter Alfred is not quite as rational as he had hoped:
    Luke: Walking away quietly...(whistles nervously)
  • When Luke encounters the Brain of Mensis, the horrified expression he bears for several seconds is almost comical.
    Luke: (quietly) Okay. I hope you won't mind, big old eyeball, if I go now. Goodbye, thank you for your time and consideration.
  • After beating Lady Maria first time, he gets his backside handed to him repeatedly by two ordinary enemies.
  • In the Final Boss stream, his montage of fighting the Orphan of Kos off-stream, with sorrowful voiceover about ennui and the loss of innocence, at the end of which he pops back to the normal, chipper Luke, kills the Sweet Child of Kos and immediately begins planning to install a zipline and beach resort at the lonely, grey beach the Orphan boss fight takes place on.
  • Later in the same stream, his battle with the Moon Presence includes a masterpiece of Buffy Speak when he finds himself subjected to That One Attack:
    Luke: Wow. That took all my health away. And I need my health. For living. And the music has gone very music-y!
• Fall Guys Ultimate Knockout (the one guest-starring Elle Osili-Wood): At one point, Andy accidentally blurts out that he's taken "two huge balls to the face". He then spends a while trying to avoid the word "ball".
• Doom Eternal: Luke takes it upon himself to maintain a chill atmosphere, which means that he ends up talking in an extremely calm voice about the graphic dismemberment he's inflicting on an endless string of demons.
• "Luke and Ellen Play Geoguessr": The final round ("famous locations") drops them right in the middle of Legoland.
  Ellen: I've been here!
  Luke: This is the original 'don't tell Luke' location, isn't it?
  Ellen: No one was supposed to tell you! You weren't supposed to know!
  Luke: Well, I found out, Ellen!
• Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines Hallowstream:
  • Mike teases Jane for putting a bunch of points into seduction (or "sexsuasion," as it quickly comes to be known).
    Jane: Oh, no! Don't make that a thing!
    (later)
    Jane: I've got five points in sexterity.
  • For those familiar with the setting, it's a little funny (but not surprising) that her character is a Ventrue.
  • Describing the Ocean House Hotel as not merely a "fixer-upper," but a "ghoster-outer."
    Andy: I can't believe you put all your points into sexterity, and none into ghostbusting.
  • Andy's reaction to the family drawing in the hotel room.
    Andy: That's my brother, and my mummy, and my new daddy BUGHUUL.
  • At Gimble's Prosthetics, Jane grabs a chair from the lobby for self-defense, and carries it all the way down to the, er, workshop. Then she sets it down in front of the door, jokingly trying to keep him from coming in. It works.
• Among Us:
  • At one point in the first multi-channel stream, Luke accuses Alex Lolies of Dicebreaker of being suspicious even though she was dead at the time. And then he repeats the feat in the third, demonstrating that he's very bad at telling whether Lolies is alive or not.
  • In the second multi-channel stream, Mike is the first to die in basically every game, except the one where he's an impostor.
    Andy: Emergency meeting! Mike's still alive!
  • Situational awareness isn't exactly Mike's strong suit.
    Ellen: Mike was like, "So are you not an impostor or-" and I'm like "Mike, I killed you."
  • Ellen's first time as an impostor, which comes to a quick and violent end, gives her ample opportunities to mess with Mike post-mortem.
    Mike: Ellen must have known who the other impostor was, right?
    Ellen: Yeah, I knew it was Andy.
    Mike: Then why were you lying in ghost chat?!
    Ellen: Because I was Trolling you!
  • Ellen's death as an impostor was because they didn't believe her excuse that she was going to the reactor just so she knew where it was for future reference...even though that was true.
  • At least once, they get halfway through an emergency meeting without noticing Jane's spaceman was dead. When they notice this, she mimes getting up to leave.
  • When a discussion goes into "throwing under the bus", Johnny decides to go for appropriate musical accompaniment:
    Johnny: The wheels on the bus go round and round...
  • After Johnny exposes Ellen as an imposter, she spends the rest of the round Trolling them by sabotaging the doors of every room they enter.
    Johnny: Ellen's keeping me locked up, like I'm lunch... Like I'm Ellunch.
  • On two separate occasions, Wheels from Dicebreaker has accidentally vented in full view of other players, immediately outing himself as the impostor. On both occasions, he actually nearly got away with it because only one of the other players was paying attention!
    • On a third occasion, Wheels came out of the vent in front of Mike, who immediately sprinted for the emergency meeting button. This time, Wheels did manage to kill him before Mike could hit the button but ends up getting spaced anyway.
  • Mike, it turns out, suffers from a rare and inconvenient ailment called "corpse blindness" where he will casually walk past bodies without noticing they're there, making himself invariably look extremely suspicious. At one point, Andy declares that the most suspicious thing that's happened all stream is Mike actually managing to report a corpse. (In Eurogamer's portion of one of the multi-streams, it turns out Aoife has it too - she manages to completely miss not only Ellen's body stuck under a console in navigation, which might be understandable, but also mistakes Johnny's mortal remains, out in the middle of the floor in the cafeteria, for a fully healthy Johnny Chiodini.)
  • Ian at one point accidently votes for himself, just narrowly avoiding getting voted out because the voting ended in a draw.
  • In the 17 October multi-stream, Johnny dubs detailed summaries of what someone has been doing "a boring amount of detail".
    Johnny: I'm bored, thank you.
  • Alex Lolies's attempt to get people to watch her get scanned in medbay doesn't initially go well.
    Johnny: As a rule, when somebody invites me into medbay to look at their bone, I don't tend to follow.
  • Wheels reports finding Zoe's body right when Andy is trying to report Lolies's body on the other side of the ship, leading to some confusion.
  • Aoife and Zoe both end up getting ejected as imposters at different times because they couldn't find their way around the map.
    Zoe: If I look at the map once, that's obviously me being super sus. You know what, we're never going orienteering together, any of us. Otherwise, you're all killing me.
  • In the fourth one, where they're in costume, a few of the players make some questionable costume decisions. Andy is 1970s-era Steve Martin with a banjo and a fake arrow through his head, Aoife threw on some cobweb-themed stuff and decided she was a cultist of Lolth, Johnny wore a hat, got a beer and concluded that they were a Life Is Strange background character, and Ian meticulously recreated his spaceman from the game, complete with a visor that severely compromises his vision, something of an awkward decision in a game that relies so heavily on sight. Lolies makes a papeier-mache version of her game outfit, but keeps a Mr Blobby mask around just to mess with the others.
  • Jane's impostor experience featured leaping terrifyingly out of a vent and then waiting around awkwardly for the kill button to go live.
  • Ian Higton gets thrown out because he can't remember what tasks he's done. Post-mortem, he realises this is because he hasn't done any.
  • Johnny gets thrown out of the ship at one point based on a single vote from Alex Lolies - as in, that was the only vote cast that round. In a plot twist, they actually were the impostor.
  • Luke tries a pre-emptive double bluff to make things easier for himself later by pretending to be the impostor when he's actually a crewmate. He actually saves both impostors, as Ellen was suspected by Johnny, and Andy who voted for him almost immediately, but backfires completely in every other respect much to the confusion of everyone else, as Mike and Lolies cast their votes for Luke as well. When Luke goes into ghost chat, he finds Ian and Aoife - both killed by the actual impostors'', utterly bewildered and asking him "wtf". They don't actually do any ghost tasks as a result, and the game swiftly ends in an impostor victory.
  • Luke is nothing if not self-aware as he explains his reasons for pretending to be the impostor:
    Luke: It was twofold, and both of them, I freely admit and admitted at the time to both myself and the viewers of the livestream, were bad ideas that were unlikely to work.
  • In the second half of the costumed livestream, they decide to play a Hide and Seek mode, where the Imposter reveal themselves but no meetings or reporting is allowed. Luke comes across a closed airlock and receives the Jump Scare of his life when the doors reveals Johnny who is the Imposter in that game.
  • The Imposters decide to ratch up the scary factor by having menacing voices as they taunt the crewmates. Both Ian and Johnny went for gruff deep voices while Aoife opted for a Creepy Child sing-song voice.
  • They conclude, when Mike is the hide-and-seek impostor in the final round, that he's actually possessed by the brain slug he's chosen for his in-game avatar.
  • Andy plays them out with a soothing melody on the banjo:
    Andy: Aaaaah, Mike is here! It's scary and bad!
  • In the stream with Elle Osili-Wood as a guest, Eurogamer's Ian Higton is having some technical issues, and Elle makes a crack about his computer deciding "Brexit means Brexit! No Europeans allowed!"
  • Ian resolves his technical issues with the phrase "I've adjusted my packet and everything is fine!"
  • At one point with both imposters still alive and only five crewmates remaining, Mike calls an emergency meeting to say that they really need to vote someone out or otherwise the imposers only need to kill one more person to win. The crewmates agree...to eject Ian (for the third time). Only...Ian wasn't the imposter.
  • Wheels from Dicebreaker deals with his cat right while he's being voted off the ship. It doesn't help.
    Elle Osili-Wood: You're stroking it like a Bond villain, Wheels, why would you do that?
  • At one point Wheels mangles "Space Mike" into "Spake Mice".
  • In Eurogamer's stream, a ghostly Aoife jumps to the conclusion that Ian is the impostor because she sees him sitting on top of a vent on Polus, not realising that there was also a wiring task there.
  • After the team switches from regular mode to hide-and-seek. Ian becomes the impostor.
    Ian: The pain in Jane falls mainly on the...oh wait, I killed Ellen.
  • When they re-do the creepy-voice thing, Elle doesn't bother and various people comment on how this is actually just as scary.
    Johnny: Soothing and scary, all at once.
    Wheels: ASMR horror.
    Johnny: ASM-aaaargh!
  • Aoife's turn as the Creepy Child Hide and Seek rampage impostor has a great moment where Wheels flees from Aoife into a clump of allies and Johnny, who is part of that clump, just says, "Wheels, you suck."
  • At one point Wheels starts hanging around behind an impostor Elle updating everyone on her location like a news helicopter reporting on the day's traffic.
    Wheels: Why am I chasing her?!
  • During a livestream, Luke and Ian come up with the plan of being Space Buddies and always going in a pair together. It's immediately turned into a Buddy Cop esque show. The group tries to come up with names for the show using NASA as an acronym. After they settle on "Non-Amorous Space Adventures" Aoife tells them not to rule sexual tension out completely and they discuss how to use it^note Luke suggests at Season 6, after the show jumped the shark. Immediately after this, an error in the update causes Ian to lose his jorts.
  • The Buddy System is successsful when an Imposter Ian kills Andy in front of Luke and he decides to honor the buddy system...but then Ian tries to kill Aoife, but since she and Luke were standing so close, it killed Luke instead. Ian was more upset with that than by getting caught.
  • Another round featured Wheels outing himself as the impostor early in the round because he didn't realise that only one person can use the medbay scanner at a time. After the round, as an argument is breaking out over Andy's lack of respect for the Buddy System, Wheels defuses the situation:
    Wheels: I think we've all learned a valuable lesson today.
    Aoife: Yeah?
    Wheels: Only one person can use the medbay scanner at a time.
    Everyone cracks up
  • On the first play of the Airship map, Ellen is trying to complete a task when Luke walks out and murders her. Just as the cutscene finishes playing, Ellen sees Ian walk by.
  Ellen: We are NOT doing Space Buddies again!^note Both Ian and Luke were impostors, so it wasn't
  • Ellen then tries to figure out how to do the new "find a signal" message
  Ellen: Ah, there it is. When in doubt, wiggle it about.
  Wheels: You know, Ellen, I agree.
  • Lolies and Aoife are at each other's throats when its down to just the two of them and Luke. Lolies makes a big deal about voting out Aoife...then forgets to cast her vote.
  • At one point, Luke tries to vouch for Ian.
    Ellen: (pleasantly) I trust nothing that comes from your mouth, Luke Westaway.
    Luke: (beat) Okay, that's fair.
  • In the next proximity chat mission, a big group of 6 gets together and starts following each other around, everyone nearly forgetting to do their tasks because they're having a great time.
    Luke: Why don't we all stand together so the impostor can get a nice stack kill.
    Andy stack kills Ellen
    • Everyone runs around screaming. Naturally, everyone votes out Luke.
    • Ellen gets revenge on Andy by "haunting" them for the rest of the round.
    Oh, you can hear me—'cause I'm a ghost. You murdered me. And I'm gonna haunt you for the rest of your—"Oh, who died? I didn't even see who died!" You know who died. It was the person you stuck the knife into.
  • On the airship map, Ian was able to distract from being suspicious by claiming he spent the entire time in the kitchen with Wheels trying to show him the condiments in the kitchen. Naturally, Luke also gets involved once he finds out. The allure of the condiments is so great it actually gets Aoife and Jane to go into the kitchen and look at them
  • Jane reveals how she's able to figure out her way around the ship so well: She has the map open in another tab.
  Luke: Hax!
  • After slaying Ellen, Ian begins to sing the "I'm Definitely Not the Impostor around."
  Ian: Just singin' to myself, nothing happening, zero guilt.
  Ellen: Someone hear that please!
  • Suspicious of Ian, Aoife runs away from him into Jane, who encourages her to run away from him with her...only to reveal she's the other impostor and kill Aoife, winning the game in a clean sweep.
• Carrion:
  • When Luke dubs the monster "the greatest video game protagonist," they immediately start riffing on The Greatest Showman. According to Luke, the Blu-Ray version has a deleted scene where PT Barnum escapes from a lab with his tentacles.
  • When Luke points out that the monster is bigger now, Ellen injects a lot more 'worry' and a lot less 'cheer' into her, "Yay?" than you'd think possible.
  • Luke is just really cheerful about the grisly messes he makes and the horrible things he does, while Ellen is much less on board.
    Luke: Look how big and chunky I am!
    Ellen: (horrified expression)
  • Someone makes a joke about Merilwen's octopus form in Oxventure, and Ellen gets really offended.
  • All of the musical interludes, most notably "Sweet Carrion".
  • Luke slips into Implausible Deniability:
    Luke: Don't worry, Ellen. It's Only a Flesh Wound. A little bed rest, and their torso will knit right back on.
  • Sometimes Luke Crosses the Line Twice:
    Luke: That one wasn't even armed. [beat] Well, now none of them are armed. Do you get it? Because I ate their arms-
    Ellen: (grinning) Yeah, I got it.
  • Luke is nothing if not self-aware:
    Luke: Well, this is all covered in blood, which implies we've been here.
  • Ellen can't help but rib Luke about the time he sacrificed all the Little Sisters in Bioshock.
  • After unlocking the Hydrophilia mutation, which splits you into a swarm of worms that can pass through small holes underwater:
    Luke: (calmly) Oh, that is absolutely foul. That is awful.
• Cyberpunk 2077:
  • Thanks to Mike's usual disinterest in character creation, his V spends the entire playthrough dressed in a garish tank top and boxers. Andy, of all people, can't stop giggling every time he sees the player model.
  • Ellen has even less luck with her run. First V looks completely naked in a mirror (despite having clothes equipped). Shortly after Ellen goes to look at V on the inventory page, and V's boobs are clipping right through her t-shirt.
    Ellen: It's like in Mean Girls, when they cut the- (makes snipping motions and descends back into laughter.)''
  • Cyperpunk partially redeemed itself in Ellen's eyes when she learned that yes, there are cats in the game, and yes, they are pettable. The latter realization caused quite the meltdown, even by her standards.
• Breath of the Wild Master Mode:
  • From the "Eventide Island" stream, when Luke gets in over his head:
    Luke: Retreat! Retreat in a zigzag pattern, while you collect Chuchu jelly! Just like Sun Tzu said.
  • In the fifth episode ("Hylian Shield"), Luke drops into the basement of Lomei Labyrinth Island, which is full of about thirty dormant Guardians. There is also a treasure chest. Luke is savvy enough to expect one of the Guardians to wake up when he opens the chest... but not four of them.
    Luke: What now?! (Blood Moon cutscene) The Blood-- the Blood-- Why? Why?!
  • Toward the end of that episode, Luke mocks the Guardians around the Central Tower, for not being able to hit him. This proves to be premature.
    Luke: (falls all the way down the tower, having wasted both Mipha's Grace and Revali's Gale) Oh, noooo! All of my dreams have died!... I thought we had that sewn up.
  • In the sixth stream ("Getting the Master Sword"), Luke tries to take a Bokoblin camp by surprise. Several arrows later...
    Luke: Why is everything not exploding? Why is everything not exploding and I'm being chased?
    • After taking refuge on top of their skull-shelter until they forget about him, he resorts to pilfering their treasure from a distance using Magnesis.
    Luke: (singing) Heist of the century... No one is any the wiser!
  • Later in the "Master Sword/Lord of the Mountain" episode, Battle in the Rain gets subverted—twice! First, when Luke drops into another Bokoblin camp, raids their treasure before they can react, and runs away; then when he encounters a Moblin, which is trailing electrical sparks for some reason...
    Luke: Dude? Dude!...
    (kaboom)
    Luke: (harvests monster parts and keeps running) Well, that was horrifying.
  • In the "Labyrinth Shrines" stream, Luke spends several minutes melting some suspicious-looking ice chunks on a mountainside. His curiosity is rewarded.
  • From the "Getting the Fastest Horse" installment, Luke buries Link alive. (He uses Stasis to smash the big flat rock off the top of a treasure chamber, but the rock falls right back into place after Link jumps in.)
    • Also from that stream, Jane shows up to moderate the chat comments, and promises to "be like Linda Hamilton murderin' Terminators" if any spambots show up.
• When Ellen tries Dark Souls for the first time, she has some trouble nailing the plunging attack on the Taurus Demon... buuut it all works out, because the demon obligingly throws itself off of the battlements while she's fighting it at ground level.
  Luke: Tremendous work!
  • By the beginning of the second stream, Ellen is wielding the Zweihander and Spider Shield,^note yes, you read that correctly but she's had to ditch most of her other armor in order to carry them unencumbered. She's hardly the first player to take this approach, but the image of a small, skinny lady with a purple ponytail running around with a sword bigger than she is has some amusing Reality Subtext.
    Ellen: (one-shots a Hollow soldier with the Zweihander)
    Luke: Well, that was his war.
  • Shortly into the second stream of "Ellen's Souls Academy," she meets the first Fang Boar in the Undead Parish. Luke promptly breaks out into the "eat Pumbaa" song from The Lion King (1994). They refer to the monster as "Pumbaa" (or "a Pumbaa") for the rest of the fight.
  • Ellen's character is named (what else?) "May Sunshine." (Presumably related to Luke's character, Ray Sunshine.) Naturally, after a few episodes she starts showing up in a Solaire hoodie.
  • In the third installment, Ellen ventures into the Lower Undead Burg. Her bone-chilling war cries upon encountering the undead dogs (and the bandits a few minutes later) deserve to be recorded for posterity.
  • After trying on the Vinheim Sorcerer's hat:
    Luke: Aww, you look like a bus conductor!
  • Ellen attacks a merchant out of habit, and gets quite an earful. The best part is: because she rests at Firelink before fighting the Capra Demon, she has to run past the (still thoroughly pissed-off) merchant every time she dies to it.
  • In part four, Ellen one-shots a Channeler (with the Zweihander) near the Gaping Dragon's boss room. By itself, it's pretty impressive; what's funny is her and Luke's reenactment of the fight.
    Luke: Yes, break that poise! Is he dead?
    Ellen: Yeah. (laughs)
    Luke: Amazing.
  • Ellen's panicky Buffy Speak during the Gaping Dragon fight, as she talks herself through avoiding its "slammy-slam" attack and chipping away at its "leggy-legs." (She ends up beating it on the first go-round, after getting down to her last hit of Estus.)
  • The thumbnail for "Ellen's Souls Academy," Part Five: Quelaag.
    • When the moment arrives, she notes that the spider-half's toothy mouth makes it less scary than a more realistic spider face would be. She still visibly pushes away from her screen.
    • Maneater Mildred becomes Kill-Stealer Mildred.
  • Ellen's power goes out mid-episode. When they get things up and running again, she reads the "game was shut off improperly" message in the most patronizing voice imaginable.
    • While that was getting fixed, Luke provided a hypothetical, very dramatic placeholder for the real boss fight.
  • The first half of Part Six is spent in Sen's Fortress. As Ellen is getting close to the top, she comes across an extremely narrow bridge, carpeted with other players' bloodstains. She laughs, but it's not the usual "Ellen laughter."
    • Later, she unexpectedly comes face-to-kneecap with the giant that's been throwing firebombs at her on the roof of the fortress.
    Ellen: Wuah, it's him!
    Luke: I'm thirsty. (takes a sip of orange juice) All right, Ellen, you've got this!
    Ellen: Was that a subtle hint of "drink Estus"?
    Luke: I didn't think it was that subtle.
    Ellen: He's right there, he's right there...
    Luke: Yeah, but—Ellen, he's the one who should be afraid!
    • Luke's words turn out to be prophetic, as Ellen's finishing blow lands right between the giant's legs. Everyone (including the commenters in the chat) recoils in horror.^note It doesn't take long, though, before the "Paint that taint" jokes—see the "Jackbox: Patently Stupid" entry below—start coming in.
    Luke: Let's look on the plus side, at least he didn't live.
  • While debating which stats to level up:
    Luke: You're not getting hit very much.
    Ellen: (brushes off her shoulder, a little smugly)
  • After getting killed a few times in the rafters of Anor Londo, Ellen decides to shoot at the Painting Guardians from a balcony, and goad them into fighting her there. About fifteen arrows later, she head-shots one by accident.
  • "Ellen's Souls Academy," Part Seven: the first encounter with the Anor Londo archers does not go well. On the plus side, Ellen learns from the experience, and knocks some of the other enemies off of ledges with her own arrows and fireballs.
    • Her Kubrick Stare after her second death from the archers (and her complete, incoherent relief after finally getting past them and reaching a bonfire) is funny, in a schadenfreude-y sort of way.
    Luke: This is the game. This is the game that we all volunteered to play... for some reason.
  • Solaire gets flirty. Ellen's reaction can best be described as "flattered, despite her best efforts."
  • Ellen's scandalized "NoooOOO only I can do that!" when one of the giant sentinels heals during a fight.
  • After defeating Ornstein, but getting killed by Smough:
    Ellen: So, when I go back, there's only going to be one of them, right?
    Luke: Oh no, we're going from the beginning.
    Ellen: (Angrish)
  • In the eighth installment, Ellen's foray into the Painted World is mostly not a barrel of laughs (except, again, the schadenfreude of seeing her encounter the Bonewheel Skeletons for the first time). After returning to the main world, her glee at wrecking the Darkroot crystal golems —with the Zweihander, if that needed saying—marks a return to form.
    • At the end of that stream, Luke gets very serious about getting the viewers to watch the channel's other videos. Very serious.
  • Ellen ventures into Seath's archives. There is some collateral damage.
    Luke: Oh, you broke the astrolabe!
    Ellen: (gasps, genuinely concerned) No?
    Luke: That makes the game unfinishable.
    Ellen: (realizing) Luke, don't!
    Luke: That's Seath's Cursed Astrolabe.
    Ellen: (groans in exasperation)
  • Luke manages to call the Crystal Knight in the Duke's Archives "really endearing" at the exact moment when it ripostes Ellen for half her health.
    Ellen: Really?
    Luke: Er... ooooh... well, I timed that comment badly...
    Ellen: "Endearing?" "Endearing."
    Luke: Did I say "endearing"? I meant... "intolerable."
    • Then Ellen heals up, and he does it again (fortunately doing less damage).
    Luke: He's got your number, Ellen! I say surrender. Beg for clemency.
  • From episode 11: the saga of Dark Spirit Charlotte.
    Ellen: Oh, that's her outfit!
    Luke: If it looks like a statue, then that's an enemy.
    (Charlotte drops her disguise, just as Ellen winds up and whacks her with the Zweihander)
    Luke and Ellen: Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
    Ellen: ...Luke.
    • Charlotte comes bearing gifts—including Luke's favorite, Gold Pine Resin.
    Luke: Well, now we're even!
  • Ellen and guest host Aoife^note Luke was excused from Souls Academy, for new-daddy reasons compare the Izalith Chaos Eaters to "Henry Hoover: the Lovecraft phase."
  • At the start of episode 12, Ellen is still wearing the witch hat she got from invader Charlotte. After Aoife compliments it, it becomes clear that she is also still guilting herself for attacking Charlotte by accident in the previous stream.
  • Aoife's style of co-piloting is a little different from Luke's.
    (Singing) Rhythm is a dancer, kill the necromancer...
    (A crystal lizard appears) Kill it; it's cute!^note a Running Gag from Eurogamer's Dark Souls streams
    Take a step backwards... (Ellen does so, and falls through the floor with a yell)
    The [bonewheels] are flocking! Nature is healing.
  • After making short work of Pinwheel, they take a closer look at his boss room.
    Ellen: I've heard of poolside reading, but this is ridiculous.
    Aoife: And then look at the ceiling—like, I can only assume these are people with overdue, unpaid library fees.
  • Ellen gets cornered by a pack of giant skeletons and stomped to death.
    Aoife: And Resident Evil Village isn't out until next week. Getting stomped on isn't in the calendar until Lady Dimitrescu is with us.
  • In the "Manus" episode, Johnny takes a turn as co-pilot. Where Aoife used a throne for her green-screen background, as befitting someone who had already beaten the game... Johnny (who only finished it with a lot of help from her) opts for more of a "bouncy-castle" look.
  • While visiting Andre to get the Zweihander fixed, Ellen also buys a repair kit that can be used at bonfires.
    Ellen: I've never actually used one in this game. I've always just gone (little-kid voice) "Andre, can you fix it please?"
    Johnny: I mean, why wouldn't you? It's like going to your favorite uncle. "Uncle Andre, my bike wheel's making a funny noise."
    Ellen: "Can you fix it please? And can I sit here and watch you do it? Thanks."
  • The obligatory string of "Manus" puns (and Manos references), once the fight actually starts.
    Ellen: If anyone backseats during this boss fight, then they're Manus-splaining.
    Chat commenter (after Ellen gets stomped without landing a hit on the boss): Lordy, you got Manus-handled! Oh the Humanities!
  • The name "Homeward Bone" makes Ellen and Johnny both break into song. Unfortunately, they pick different songs.
  • Ellen gets lost looking for the fight with Gwyndolin, and ends up spending several minutes trying to challenge Gwynevere to a duel. When they figure it out, she runs off and Johnny yells "Let this be a lesson to you!" in a high-pitched Munchkin voice.
  • In the final episode, Aoife returns as co-pilot, and things get real in the Great Hollow.
    Ellen: (kills a pair of basilisks with fireballs)
    Aoife: Who else wants some?
    (later, while Ellen is fighting the mushroom people)
    Aoife: Kill the child! "Oh no, I murdered your kid, what are you gonna do now? Join them?"
    Ellen: Oof! Harsh words, Aoife!
    Aoife: Well, I'm sorry, but they started it! (after Ellen finishes them off) Well, now we've got enough for a risotto.
    Ellen: (looking over all the dead mushrooms) Oh, look at them. Oh, that's so horrific!
    Aoife: (cringes) Just carve into the tree, "May Sunshine woz here."
    Youtube commenter: "Tell the other mushrooms what you saw."
  • After Ellen defeats Gwyndolin and destroys the illusion around Anor Londo, the Darkmoon Knightess takes exception.
    Ellen: Hi... hi, sorry.
    Aoife: It wasn't us! (Knightess attacks) Ma'am! Ma'am, please, it wasn't us! You're making a scene!
• Jackbox: Quiplash has some pretty hilarious responses:
  • "Unfortunately, Curious George was too curious about (fill in the blank)."
    Andy: Heroin.
  • When asked: "A bikini carwash is a good way to raise money, a bikini (fill in the blank) is not", Mike picks a normal answer and writes "funeral." But Lolies completely bricks it and can't remember the word for "barbecue", and writes "cook hot meat." Everyone is floored. And this becomes a meme for later chapters.
  • When asked how to tell your lover is actually a scarecrow, Johnny gets Literal-Minded and answers: "A stoic, neverending vigil over the corn."
  • Towards the middle of the game, there's a series of three-part prompts that get some pretty good responses.
    • "The three steps to a successful breakup:"
    Andy: Be open and honest; talk about your feelings; hot air balloon escape.
    Jane, of course: Leave the country; destroy all evidence; facial reconstruction surgery.
    Lolies: Is one of these Jane?
    Jane: I'll never tell.
    Aoife: Never break up with either of these people.
    Ian: If I could have a ride in your hot-air balloon at some point, Andy...
    • "The three things in your 'happy place':"
    Aoife: Tall. Vampire. Lady.
    • "Three terrible names for a new cereal brand:"
    Lolies: Frosted Cakelegs; Bland Flakes; Shpaghettis.
    "Jane"^note not Jane: Salmonell-O's; Morning Kibble; Vote Me I Jane (the cereal).
  • On that note, the Running Gag of people pretending to be Jane and blatantly asking for audience votes.
    Jane: I want, like, a 20% share of all your votes.
  • "The three things you need for the BEST. BACHELOR PARTY. EVER."
    Andy: A Bachelor! Anyone seem him? Uh oh.
• A secondary playthrough of Quiplash led to some even more hilarious moments.
  • Luke, after having taken some paternity leave not long after Mike took his, is asked a question: Which of Andy, Ellen, or Jane is going to be the cool aunt/uncle. Andy declares it's him, but this is immediately changed when he thinks the purpose is to stand over the crib and curse the newborn.
  • Andy again resorts to pretending to be Jane for votes, and wins despite Jane protesting that it isn't her and Andy shouldn't be voted for. She then tries to do it next round...only to look too much like Andy faking it, and she loses.
  • The team is asked to create a caption for a giant stone wheel as a salable product. Luke mopes that the only thing he can think of is vulgar...then promptly uses it, calls it a sex robot, and wins by a wide margin.
• A third playthrough of Quiplash is no less funny.
  • The playthrough immediately starts when asked "When I die, I want to be surrounded by my family and (fill in the blank)", Jane immediately picks bees for the Running Gag in Oxventure about the Beeples, much to Johnny's chagrin and Luke and Andy's delight. Naturally, she wins.
  • When asked "The United States is the leader in..." Andy answers "Number of Dakotas." Johnny and Luke wonder if there's a Dakota anywhere else, and wonders about Dakota Fanning, only for Mike to remark that she's American too.
  • "What's a geometry teacher's best pickup line?"
    Luke: I've got a Pythagoras that won't quit.
  • "What a positive effect of climate change."
    Luke: Penguins aren't so smug now.
  • "What three things do you do when meeting the love of your life."
    Andy: Pupils dilate. Pupils dilate more. Eyes explode, event horizon.
• Jackbox: Patently Stupid:
  • Has one where the entire team is asked to create a product to solve a particular problem: Having a hole in one's pants. Luke creates denim paint. By coincidence, Jane creates the same product. Because Luke went first, everyone believes he created the product, and he accuses Jane of being the Winklevoss to his Zuckerberg. Then, Jane unveils her tagline: "Denim Paint, Paint your Taint!". Ellen struggles to breathe through her laughter, Andy just about falls out of his seat, and Mike buries his face in his hands and declares the stream to be instantly demonetized. (Jane puts her hands together and looks toward heaven, in a rough approximation of saintliness and/or contrition.) But then everyone else believes that Jane is the real Zuckerberg, and Luke comes in last, silently pouting.
  Luke: I've come to realize that maybe I am the Winklevoss.
  • This happens again when the team plays a second time, in which Luke creates a product in which a person's lower half is replaced with tank treads to ignore the need for sprinting. During the same round, Mike has to create a product to teach his baby how to walk, and he replaces the bottom half with a unicycle. This time, however, both products get funded, even if Mike ends up winning more overall.
  Andy: Luke, wow, you got Winklevi-ed again.
• Fibbage:
  • Toward the end of the stream, there's a prompt asking "If Ellen had to get a new tattoo tomorrow, it'd probably be..." One of the choices is "Weebl from Weebl & Bob."
  Andy: I didn't think anyone else would know who Weebl and Bob were.
  Ellen: I'm friends with Weebl. (Meaning the creator, not his character)
  Jane: Sure you are. Can you see him right now? Is he in the room with you?
  • Also towards the end, Andy's lie turns out to be that he got banned from Chilli's because a friend got too drunk and threw up everywhere. When asked whether this was permanent, he cheerfully replies "I don't know, I haven't been back!"
• Jackbox: Trivia Murder Party has Mike quip about the unfairness of getting killed, only for Jane to remind him of the game's premise: They are being held by a serial murderer. (Also, Mike gets arbitrarily revived, literally seconds later, since the final "hallway run" round requires one living player character.)
  • Keeping that premise in mind, the chat comment asking "When will you do the 'one-week wilderness survival' livestream?" is... unsettling, to say the least.
    Jane: Did anyone agree to a one-week wilderness survival livestream?
    (chorus of "No's", "Where did that come from?", etc.)
    Luke: How would we get the cameras in the woods? I mean, I also have other concerns.
  • Mike claims to be under the impression that "horsey" is the official name of a chess piece. The others accuse him of trying to find a loophole, to avoid putting the same answer as anyone else.
  • Jane's skepticism that Stephen King would ever write under a pseudonym.
  • The constant riffing on the US-centered nature of many questions (e.g. "states with panhandles," McDonaldland characters).
    Jane: JDate—it's all Janes!
  • Calling the Bible "the Jesus Cinematic Universe."
  • After a couple of relatively easy questions:
    Luke: They're clearly adjusting this on the fly, right?
    Everyone: (loses it)
    Jane: It's a learning computer.
    Luke: "You folks seem less [suited for] 'hardcore questions', and more like 'food challenge questions.'"
  • Upon returning to the murder hotel in "ESCAPE THE MURDER HOTEL", Andy gets increasingly heated at the game because Mike, having more money, is prioritised in tie-breaker situations, which means that when they're both at the finish line it only lets Mike out and gives him a third win in a row.
    Andy: WHAT?!
    Andy: (seconds later) I'm so angry in so many directions.
• Jackbox: Fakin' It has some incredible stories that stem from the fact that a liar has to answer questions when receiving either a different question, or none at all and simply guessing.
  • Mike says he did a prompt once while everyone else claimed to have never done it. The prompt is revealed...to be how many times you have pooped in the woods. Mike buries his face in his hand and begins to spin a tale.
  • When asked what face you would make when seeing Frosty the Snowman melt, Mike makes a half-hearted horror face, and then points out that it's just a snowman.
  Jane: Mike's not the faker, he's just a psychopath.
  • When asked "how many dates do you go on before there is nudity" and Jane put zero. Mike agrees with her excuse that there's no rules for dating...but you need at least one. And she wasn't the faker.
  Mike: When it's zero dates, you're a flasher.
  • As it turns out, the next question had everyone put up no fingers, except Ellen, who picked three. The question was "how many flights have you gone on in the past year."
  Mike: Man, those COVID questions really get you, huh.
  • No one puts up their hand if they've ever been indecent in a public place, but Jane was the only one who didn't recoil in horror when seeing the question.
  • Everyone puts up a different number when asked a question: Ellen does 0, Andy does 2, Jane does 3, and Mike does 5. The question is then revealed: How many people are living in your house right now.
  Andy: Go on, Ellen, come on with the bullshit.
  Ellen: Are we really living? Is this life?
  • Andy is caught when he is asked to point at someone without brown eyes, and he points at Mike, who does...only he was caught checking the comments and didn't read the question, and Mike was the faker.
• The Oxboxtra Mario Golf Tournament:
  • The "Keep Peach poor!" Running Gag from Mario Party has mutated into "Keep Peach par!"
  • Mike is playing King Boo, who has a power that they refuse to refer to as anything other than a "ball twister." This goes to some really wild places whenever they start riffing on it.
  • Also during round 1, there's a point where Ellen, as Waluigi, is preparing a swing on angled ground and they start riffing on Waluigi just slowly toppling into the ocean.
  • The general displays of shock and dismay when Mike manages to hit the pixel at the exact top of a tree and go wildly off course.
    Luke: What is the hitbox on these trees?!
  • After a Joke Boat stream the previous day had Luke talking about how he'd moved from a greenscreen to a bluescreen in order to make it possible to wear green shirts and Dob's green eyeshadow, for round 2 he's wearing a blue shirt and everyone comments that he appears to have been reduced to a floating head. His shirt continues to flicker in and out as he moves.
  • Andy describes the greens on the second course as "all bobbley and bubbly and bombly", which somehow manages to convey a lot of information despite being, objectively speaking, nonsensical.
    Mike: "Bombly" is also a technical golfing term.
  • They distract Ellen for one tee-off by talking about the weirdness of Waluigi's nose.
  • When Luke almost gets a hole-in-one, Andy comments that if it had worked, it would be proof that Peach ruled by divine right.
  • The hole that denied Luke a hole-in-one continues punishing them by having Andy's ball run along the edge of the hole and miss.
  • Andy reads a comment about the accuracy of Ellen's Mii and loudly points out, "That's Waluigi!" before it's explained that they probably meant Ellen's avatar on the starting screen.
  • Luke is punished for his hubris.
    Luke: It'll be fine - IT'S NOT FINE!
  • Ellen at one point uses a special power out of a bunker and misses the green so badly that she ends up in another bunker on the other side. Another time she forgot whether the controls were inverted.
  • "Madlad Mike" nearly managed to convince himself to pass up a straight shot and instead try and knock it high into the air to bounce it off the bridge.
  • It says a lot about Andy that his first thought for a line is "this will separate the princesses from the Perkin Warbecks".
  • After a bad hit, Mike chokes back what he was about to say down to "you absolute git", at which point Luke commends him on how well he censored himself at the last second.
  • Andy suggests uniting in hatred of the greens. After a few moments, Luke clarifies that they don't mean the political party.
  • After getting a message from one John Williams, they riff on the composer...and then apologise because John has probably heard that joke a million times already.
  • Luke keeps egging Mike on to use his ball-twister while Andy demands to know what he's doing. Eventually Mike goes for it...and the ball lands perfectly in the hole, which cancels out the explosion.
  • At one point Mike is wondering whether he wants to use a sand wedge and Ellen can't resist suggesting a baguette instead.
  • From the "Two New Courses!" stream, the entire saga of Ninji.
    • For context: Ninji started as an enemy from Super Mario Bros. 2, but has remained relatively obscure since then. The shiny graphics of Mario Golf make its black, form-fitting outfit look like... well, some kind of fetish suit.
    Youtube commenter: Koopa with the birdie putt, Ninji with the purdy butt.
    Other commenter: In this stream, Ellen is an adorable video game gremlin. Also, she's playing as Ninji.
    • Ellen compares it to "an adult Fall Guy." It takes the others a moment to realize that she means an adult Fall Guy.
    • When Ninji's ball gets stuck in a bunker, and Ellen is figuring out the trajectory to take to get it out:
    Luke: There's a significant kink in that power meter.
    Ellen: (giggles) Is there.
    • By the end of the stream, they've started interpreting Ninji as a Cute, but Cacophonic ditz, who has only the vaguest idea of how to play golf. This causes problems with his supervisors at the Mario Country Club, as well as its members... and also Ninji's parents.
    Luke: Some golfers have made—not complaints, but comments, about your dress.
    Andy: We've had a few anonymous messages from members who don't like to see you on the course.
    Luke: From a Princess P.--no, that's too obvious.
    Andy: ...Now, Ninji, the balls that go in the lake have to be returned to the clubhouse. We've had reports that you're eating them?
    Luke: At least let me say this, Ninji—you had better be eating them.
    Mike: It's not October yet, stop being weird and creepy!
    • Later:
    Luke: Ninji, this is your father. I've received a call from the Piranha Plant who operates the course—Mr. Peter Plant.
    Andy: Ninji, your brother has just been made chairman of Schroeder's. Really, your mother and I are just in despair, honestly. I thought "There's no way he can make a pig's ear of this."
    Luke: Your mother's crying in the conservatory.
    Andy: She went in there with a bottle of red wine, half an hour ago...
    Ellen: Shout out to [commenter] Jake's daughters Lily and Rosie, who got into gaming thanks to us! And now will be haunted by Ninji.
    Andy: It's all like this, all gaming is like this... (back in character) What are we to do with you, Ninji?
    Mike: Military school?
    Andy: Oh, we tried that!
    Luke: We tried that first! We've tried absolutely everything except a hug. There are some lines I won't cross.
    Andy: Used to be if a chap had a son like this, you could just pack him off to the clergy and you'd be done with him. But it's not the done thing apparently.
    Luke: I think Ninji could be a man of the cloth.
    Mike: Man of the latex.
  • Also from the "Two New Courses!" video, Mike's signature playstyle pays off.
    Luke: (makes a carefully calibrated shot down the middle of the fairway)
    Mike: (steps up to the tee, immediately winds up to hit the ball)
    Andy: No! Mike, you need to—
    (whack)
    Andy: You need to consider it...
    Mike: Consider this! (ball lands perfectly, only a few yards from the others')
  • At one point in the "new courses" stream, everyone uses their special moves at the same time. The results range from "par" to "triple bogey."
• From the Encarta Mindmaze stream, Andy and Mike go out of their way to read the jester and the king's lines in the funniest voices they can muster. They get sick of the jester fast, though.
  Andy: We're gonna beat him to death with his stupid fooling stick.
  • Everyone gets very invested in the subplots of the other characters in the maze—the duke's rivalry with the king, the tragic tale(s) of the guy in the pillory, Joseph's quest to become a knight, etc.
  • Jane takes issue with the game's description of Carl Sagan.
    Do you get to be called an 'exobiologist' if we've never discovered any exobiology?
  • As with Trivia Murder Party, the crew get tripped up by a lot of the Americentric pop-culture questions.
    Mike: Now, all I know about basketball is from NBA Jam and Space Jam.
    • And as with the Quiplash stream, the background music is clearly boring into everyone's brains after the first 45 minutes or so. (In this case, it's faux-medieval, rather than faux-circus music.)
• At the start of the "New Pokemon Snap" stream, Ellen has a mystery Polaroid to show Luke... It's the egg room.
  Ellen: (between giggles) It looks so much creepier in Polaroid!
  Luke: It looks like something you'd find in the attic, like 'What are these old photos? Is this the family that lived here before?' While a toy-box sort of melody plays... Stream's off to a very poor start, if you ask me.
  • From the "throw fruit to attract Pokemon" section of the tutorial:
    Luke: All right, Ellen, toss your fluffruit!
    Ellen: EXCUSE ME?!
    • Ellen has a little trouble with this mechanic, initially throwing far too short and then hitting Pikachu in the face.
    Luke: "All right, that's enough practice. You're hurting my Pikachu."
• Jackbox: Murder Mystery Party
  • The group immediately decides to outclass each other: Ellen brings a fancy masquerade mask. Aoife brings a folding fan. Andy holds a pumpkin in front of his face.
  Mike: I brought alcohol!
  • Johnny's avatar has ample cleavage, and there is much ribbing.
• From the Goosebumps: Escape from Horrorland stream:
  • The pumpkin puzzle has Luke and Andy both in stitches. At first, it seems like Luke's system for adapting the game to modern hardware (using mostly happy thoughts and string) has finally given out—but no, the pumpkins' ridiculous, Broken Record voices are completely intentional.
    Pumpkin: MID- MID- MID- MID-
    Luke: What's happening now?!
    Andy: (loses it)
    Pumpkins: MID- CROW- MID- CROW- MID- CROW- (pwrrp)
    Luke: (barely keeping it together) Andy... Andy, this one just farts!
    (later)
    Luke: Is this the greatest puzzle in video game history?
    Andy: I think it might be!
• Jackbox: Job Interview Challenge:
  • "Chase, the office clown, is crying quietly in the break room while filling up water balloons. How do you respond?"
    Jane: Don't smash water balloons or do anything
    Ellen: I would probably vomit
  • "Ted's birthday card just got to your desk. What message do you write inside?"
    Johnny: Hello Ted's card. I had to write. poop poop poop
  • "Debra is demanding that you accept her friend request on social media. How do you react?"
    Ellen: I would probably vomit
  • "Your boss asks you to donate his kidney to his sick nephew. How do you respond?"
    Johnny: to pub beer beer beer. punch kidney punch
  • "What's the difference between a team player and a lone wolf?"
    Mike: team player is a sport unfortunately mateys
    Ellen: team player is a play. lone wolf is a wolf.
  • "You have not been invited to Trish's wedding. Does this mean something? How do you react?"
    Andy: Hammer a nail directly through Trish's thumb
  • "Your boss says you'd be a hero if you could pull an all-nighter on Friday. How do you respond?"
    Andy: I wish I could. I drunk.
  • "You need a report from Barb, but she refuses to give it to you. How do you get the report?"
    Ellen: Shriek unendingly and fight Barb with fists and feet.
    Johnny: pull a stick out. Barb? The report, Barb.
  • "A bird has built a nest outside your window. How do you respond professionally?"
    Andy: Gutting.
    Ellen: I would fill it with paperwork. bird do it.
  • "How do you deal with rude people?"
    Andy: I laser rude people with a big old laser.
  • "What really pushes your buttons?"
    Johnny: "avocados". you terrible flavour mush
  • "There is something incessantly beeping near Frank's desk. How do you respond?"
    Mike: I'd rather have beeping than governments
    Ellen: gather up 1000 avocados. then mush in Frank's desk.
  • "The office is always way too cold or way too hot. What do you say to the maintenance person?"
    Andy: Let me tell you about hot. It sad. I dying.
    Johnny: The office is always way too cold or way too hot.
  • "The office coffee pot has become sentient and is terrorising the staff with scalding hot decaf. What do you do?"
    Mike: I have a spring-loaded mechanism that fires road warriors
    Johnny: throw it at Some of the staff and dance to safety
  • "Trent took a corner slice of Becca's birthday cake without asking. What's your next move?"
    Ellen: start my dance dance revolution routine on Becca's cake
  • The Final First Impressions also have some wild results.
    Mike: I LOVE rollercoasters, money, tiny doughnuts. I HATE poop panic.
    Johnny: I LOVE infrastructure. I HATE poor infrastructure. terrible. die.
    Ellen: I LOVE dogs who love to skate board. I HATE this gig economy. and bees.
    Andy: I HOPE you dissolve in hydrofluoric acid. I KNOW I pretend haha what a funny question
    Mike: I HOPE I gets cars and a big hat. I KNOW richest person alive elon musk gets It.
    Mike again: I CAN be afraid of human women. I CANNOT talk about Fight Club.
    Jane: I CAN be a spy. I CANNOT imagine why I don't get to be spy.
    Mike: I DESERVE a raise. I GET bad philosophy from you, a small child.
    Ellen: I DESERVE the banana Fritter. I GET a spring-loaded mechanism that fires them into body
  • Chat has to come up with motivational posters for M. Bubbles's wall, a challenge they rise to with aplomb.
    COMPETENCY: Always Lost.
    QUALITY: Don't Fear Laundry.
    CREDIBILITY: Build A Better Eagle
    AUTHENTICITY: Smell The Brood
    SIMPLICITY: There's No Witches In Team
    INFLUENCER: Get A Spaghetti
    MISTAKES: We're In Problem Together
    EDUCATION: Cream Like Nobody's Watching (which Johnny actually refuses to read out, calling it "horrible")
    CONTROL: Try Nightmares
    TENACITY: Think Outside The Beast
    BANDWIDTH: One World, One Bastard
    INTEGRITY: Tijuana Can't Hurt You
  • Andy, Mike and Luke return to Job Job for the last livestream of 2022, in a game where Luke unintentionally, at least according to him, ends up working the word "apes" into at least one icebreaker per round. The comedy peaks in a non ape-related answer, though; given a prompt about one thing you'd change about yourself, the answer "I believe it would be the piss" causes Luke to laugh so hard he almost needs medical attention.
• When "Ellen's Souls Academy" takes on Dark Souls III:
  • Ellen humming "The Girl from Ipanema" while adjusting Luke's screen location to fit around the HUD elements.
  • Upon arriving at Firelink Shrine for the first time:
    Ellen: It's like Kingdom Hearts!
    Luke: It is not like Kingdom Hearts!
    (later)
    Fire Keeper: I tend to the flame, and tend to thee.
    Luke: "As you can see, I'm doing a bad job."
  • In the second stream, Luke announces that more Vordt license plates are needed in the lobby. He also portrays Vordt as a Sink or Swim Mentor, to try to counteract Ellen's frustration with the boss fight.
  • Ellen names her character May Sunshine again (presumably in memory of her valiant ancestor). This leads to a happy coincidence in the third stream ("The Curse-Rotted Greatwood").
    Siegward: To your valour, my sword, and our victory together. Long may the sun shine!
    Ellen: Yaaay! (realizes, makes "8D" face and Squees)
  • Earlier in that stream, Ellen is easing across a narrow bridge, towards an undead jerk of some variety. Undead jerk throws its giant mortar at her, knocking her off the bridge to her death.
    Luke: Whoa, that'll do it! (laughs)
    Ellen: I didn't know they could throw the pot! ...Don't you "hee-hee-hee-hee-hee" me, Luke.
    Luke: Bowling for Soup!
    • When Ellen gets back to the bridge, the undead jerk falls off the side while trying to get to her. Then she dodges a thrown mortar from a second enemy, which also falls off the bridge a moment later.
    Luke: Oh my god. What is it with you and bridges and enemies?
  • "Ellen vs the Crystal Sage" (part four): At Luke's encouragement, Ellen rolls around destroying Orbeck's desk and bookshelves after he gives a frank assessment of her character's intelligence.
  • "Ellen vs the Abyss Watchers" (part five): Enemy issues with bridges get used against Ellen as the Stray Demon just scoops her up and yeets her off. Neither Luke nor Ellen survive. Chat dubs it a "Reverse Taurus Demon".
  • In the sixth stream ("Cathedral of the Deep"), they get a lot of mileage out of the "Drang" armor set.
    Luke: Wash your Drang hands!
    Ellen: Welcome on stage—the Drang Hammers!
  • In "Ellen vs the Old Demon King", Ellen finds the long-dead body of Quelaag's sister... and promptly finds her mourning interrupted by a fireball to the back, courtesy of a monster behind her.
    Ellen: (frantically runs around dodging) Okay, look, could you just... I'm trying to have a moment here!
  • When they get to the messy and grim "wedding"^note the key moment of which is desecrating the corpse of a likeable NPC, Luke is guest starring because Ellen summoned in Ray Sunshine III to help with a difficult fight. This leads to the two of them spamming gestures next to a body with a sword through its head, with things like performing toasts, or Luke using a sprawl-out gesture and joking that he had too much Siegbrau at the reception.
  • Opinions on the Irithyll Dungeons are... mixed.
    Luke: I actually quite like this part of the game.
    Ellen: (shrieks in terror)
    Luke: But it's not for everyone.
  • When the time comes to face the Nameless King, Ellen clearly expects the path to the boss arena to be a long drop. It's not.
    Ellen: (stepping off the platform) Aaaaaaaaa-
    May lands on the clouds one foot below the platform
    Ellen: -Oh. (Dies laughing)
  • On her first run at Friede, Luke allows Ellen to believe that the fight only has 2 phases. After thoroughly falling for the Victory Fakeout, her expression when she realises Blackflame Friede exists is priceless.
  • When they venture into the Ringed City and fight Darkeater Midir on the bridge, Luke tempts fate once too often: he tells Ellen to stand where he is because it's the safest place, then immediately falls off and dies.
• The pure and unfiltered raw chaos of the First Class Trouble livestream. Special mention to Ian, one of the two Personoids. He ends up killing his fellow Personoid Andy by drowning him, then quickly drowning Mike, then burning Luke, then stealth-killing guest player Shay with a syringe.
  Andy: I was your fellow Personoid.
  Luke: I thought Ian was playing 3-dimensional chess.
  Andy: ALL chess is three-dimensional.
• The Jackbox Poll Mine:
  • The entire session has a running gag of Jane apparently being a multi-millionaire.
  • During the round, Andy reveals an interesting fact: Queen Elizabeth's personal chef was asked what is the Queen's favorite comfort food. It was a venison burger stuffed with cranberries.
    Andy: That's the least relatable thing I've ever heard.
  • All five members plus Oxventure DM Johnny Choidini are asked, among all of them plus Guy Fieri and Kermit the Frog, which one of them does the audience want on their team during a Zombie Apocalypse. The goal is to guess which answers ranked 2nd, 3rd, and 4th. This leads to a discussion: Andy suggests Guy Fieri, and is wrong because he was ranked 6th: Ellen retorts that its the Studio Audience that casts the votes, and the audience are people who want to watch the channel. Ellen's team debates on whether or not Jane or Mike would come in 1st.
    Johnny: Jane's going to be #1, the audience is going to think Mike would blow things up in a bad way.
    Mike: There's no bad way to blow things up in a zombie apocalypse.
    Luke: I think Mike will edge out Jane, because the audience isn't going to think Jane would protect them and keep them alive.
    Jane: They'd be right.
    Johnny: Jane wouldn't hide the bite though, Jane would be like 'Look at it!'
    Andy: Yes, but if you had a rash or something, Jane would shoot you.
    Luke: Or she'd shoot you and tell everyone you had a rash.
    Johnny: She'd shoot you in the head, bite you, and then tell everyone you got bit.
    (Jane is selected, and she's the #1 answer)
    Jane: I've no idea how I've earned your trust. I absolutely don't deserve it.
  • The round continues, with Andy coming in 2nd, and Mike, surprisingly, coming in 5th. Johnny remarks on owning three axes, prompting Mike to vote Johnny and getting the 3rd answer, leading to a discussion as to whether or not Ellen or Luke is 4th. Ellen votes for Luke, but Johnny and Luke choose Ellen and outvote her. She comes in 4th, surprising her. Luke comes in 7th.
    Andy: Well, you didn't come in last.
    Luke: It's just me and Kermit.
    Ellen: Awww, Luke I voted for you.
    Luke: The audience was asked who do you want on your team, and I just edged out a puppet of a frog.
  • Later in that stream, the team needs to guess the top three of "Best ingredients to put on a taco." After a lot of gentle ribbing on how British and Americans pronounce taco differently, Jane starts with guacamole and finds that it is in fourth, causing everyone to find the answer unholy. Andy and Luke zoom their cameras in to showcase their extreme disappointment. This happens again when sour cream comes in even lower, leading Johnny to declare that the audience apparently wants dry tacos. Luke thinks that beef and chicken will be low because the carnivores in the audience would split the difference. It ends up beef is 1 and chicken is 2.
    Jane: Do they know about guac?
    (Johnny and Ellen stammer while they attempt to make the next guess, completely unsure of how to process what just happened)
    Johnny: I was going to say sour cream, but apparently the audience likes bone-dry tacos.
    Luke: Okay, here's my theory.
    Andy: These people are aliens.
    Andy: You millennials with your guac and your sour cream. Why don't you eat a normal taco, which is just raw chicken.
• Jackbox: WHEEL OF ENORMOUS PROPORTIONS:
  • Mike estimates that the Grinch's heart "grew 80 sizes that day."
    Mike: Have you seen the end of Akira? It'd look like that.
    (Everyone loses it)
• RiffTrax: The Game:
  • Early on, Riff Bot presents a joke about breast powder. While this is initially received with a certain measure of distaste, it quickly becomes a Running Gag, to the point where the Riff Bot line for a clip involving handing a list to a pharmacist is noticeable because it's about neither breast powder nor Arya's Enemies List from Game of Thrones.
    Andy:(while narrating as a stick figure lecturing to a 6 year old boy) You gotta powder your breasts, Larry. Seriously, they'll rust up on you something fierce.
  • One clip has a child picking up a cat and telling it that it's coming to school with her today. When one of the riffs is, "I'm going to shit in your desk Matilda", Johnny covers their mouth with their hand, eyes wide with shock.
  • As soon as they start to pick up on the cues for recognising Riff Bot's lines as opposed to the text-to-speech, such as resembling normal human speech patterns, Mike and Johnny start issuing their opinions of Riff Bot's jokes.
    Mike: Not your best one, Riff Bot.
• Hallowstream 2022:
  • The first stream of Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines was sadly lost due to the activities of technical gremlins. When Jane, Andy and Mike recorded a replacement on "Halloween Boxing Day," they titled it—what else?—"Sexterity Check."
    Andy: It wasn't 'technical gremlins' that caused you to completely drain a businessman!
    Jane: I—my finger slipped.
    • This time around, Mike "What's a Little Masquerade Violation Between Friends?" Channell is in the driver's seat. Jane's Ventrue character suddenly and inexplicably starts acquiring points in Melee.
    • During the early raid on the Sabbat warehouse, Mike makes sure to quicksave before fighting the Gangrel miniboss. Normally not a bad idea... except when only 49 seconds are left on the bomb timer.
    • The gang meet Officer Chunk:
    Mike: I kinda like this guy.
    Andy: "So you seem to be some kind of vampiyah, so I'm just gonna let you up in da elevatah..."
    • During the Elizabeth Dane mission, Mike hacks into the ship controls.
    Mike: (joyfully) "Sound horn"?!
    Jane: No, don't sound horn!
    Mike: Oh, but it's right there!
  • From Luke and Andy's stream of The 7th Guest, their increasing panic during the scene where Martine and Edward have sex. The FMV actors disappear after a certain point, but then a "dialogue" prompt appears over the bed...
    Andy: NO, don't click the sex bed!
    Luke: Why can't I click the sex bed?
    Andy: (plaintively) Because it'll make sex noises, and we'll get demonetized. Well, if we loudly shout over them, maybe—
    Luke: Let's just have a nice conversation over the noises.
    Andy: Okay. Well, Luke, tell me what you had for lunch today!
    • They try—oh, do they try. Luke even prompts Andy to discuss "The Haunted Mansion," in the hopes of helping him focus. It doesn't really work, though.
    • Shortly after that, they encounter the bishop puzzle and the livestream grinds to a halt.
    Andy: All right, congratulations, Luke. You have reached the halfway point.
    Luke: You're not—are you serious??
    Andy: I am serious.
    (later)
    Andy: Everyone involved with this puzzle should be in prison... I'm already adding this to a "7 Worst Puzzles in Video Games" list.
• From the Are You Afraid of the Dark? stream during Hallowstream, also with Luke and Andy:
  • Andy and Luke can't stop riffing on the fact that, despite Orpheo not being on stage since World War 2, the theater still has his posters up.
  • Luke is astonished when he learns the backstory behind Orpheo's curse: That his daughter Mary cursed the theater because Orpheo chose her sister Elizabeth to be the assistant instead. And then, Corpsing abounds when Mary invokes the spell Waxo Commanda
  • There are some obviously green-screened centaurs that Luke and Andy can't stop riffing on. And the fact that the unicorn looks like he's about to sell Luke drugs at a festival.
  • There is a wax skeleton that chases the player, and Andy declares the solution is to open the furnace and watch it melt. Luke does not survive.
  • One of the puzzles involves a wax statue of a flute player, who shoots a magic wand out of the flute she's playing and it hits the conductor in the face.
  • The talking-monster-mask puzzle provides an unexpected callback to the Horrorland pumpkin puzzle from the previous year. And There Was Much Rejoicing.
  • Luke has to trap an electricity monster in a light bulb. It is exactly as silly as it sounds.
  • The Macguffin quest involves Orpheo's eyes. When the icon to use them shows up at the finale, Luke and Andy keep laughing so hard they forget to click and get a game over.
• The last video of 2022 is Garfield's Lasagna Party, a much smaller Mario Party clone that all of the team can't stop riffing on:
  • During the beginning of the stream, Andy comments that in one strip, Garfield's owner Jon ate dog semen and Andy keeps bringing it up because he doesn't want it to get cut during the editing process.
  • Luke declares the team is going to play four players, but two people have normal Pro controllers and the other two have to use joycons. And it's not him because he spent money to purchase the game.
  • Andy constantly rolls 3's on his dice, to the point where he thinks his dice have more 3's than others. When he gets something else...Ellen reduces his dice rolls.
  • Mike describes Arlene as a disturbing penis cat. After a We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties multiple colored bars, Mike resolves to keep track so the group doesn't get demonetized.
  • During a game called "Frozen Treat", which is described as "Get the frozen treats after provoking a dog in front of a bush", Andy completely loses it at the description. During the game itself, Luke is constantly getting attacked by the dog and can't stop laughing to get out of the way.
  • Luke rolls a 7 on his dice roll, but Andy, Ellen, and Mike all combine penalties to reduce Luke's roll to 2. Then Luke lands on a space to go back 2. And his face screams Tranquil Fury.
  • When Luke draws a card that says he must drop one of his items, the card is covered in white appears to be steam or cream, but the group is convinced it's another sort of white fluid. Ellen descends into laughter.
  • During a game to outrace an avalanche, everyone except Garfield is consumed by the avalanche. While Luke continues to race, everyone else is talking about how the first hours are crucial for avalanche survival.
  • During a minigame in which the team is outracing dogs in a situation similar to the stampede in The Lion King (1994), Luke (as Garfield) and Andy (as Odie) are arguing with each other like Anakin and Obi-Wan. And then the game introduces a sprint mechanic and since Andy isn't paying attention he gets trampled.
  • Luke lands on a space that turns two random spaces blank. One of them is a dog space that moves a player back two spaces if they land on it. Once the space is gone, the dog tunnels into the ground like a sandworm from Dune. The entire team is horrified.
• Barista Sim: LUKE & ELLEN VS CUSTOMERS is essentially two hours of Luke gradually losing his mind from the stress of running a coffee shop.
  • Luke's reaction to customers who litter on his nice, clean floor.
  • One particular customer keeps showing up with an angry emote hovering over his head. While Luke isn't sure what that indicates, he consistently knocks that customer out with a baseball bat whenever he appears, just to be on the safe side.
• Goose Goose Duck:
  • Luke and Ian's Space Buddies partnership has by this point evolved into something akin to a soap opera with betrayals, attempts to restore trust, and the others desperately trying to stage an intervention.
    Zoe: You know how you're supposed to cut toxic people out of your life?
  • One game goes surprisingly easily for the geese...because on the space level, the in-game transport can kill if you're in the wrong place, and Zoe, one of the ducks, found this out the hard way.
  • Goose Goose Duck has a lot of roles. Possibly too many roles. In the last round they turn them all on at once and it dissolves into chaos, with things like Mike auto-reporting a body and getting into hot water for it because Andy's role concealed bodies and nobody knew that was a thing or a fight between two geese with kill buttons, both convinced they were the only one and therefore the other must be a duck. In the final voting round, Andy and Ellen are going at each other, Andy manages to mislead Ian and convince him that Ellen is the duck, Ellen gets thrown out...and wins instantly, because she was the Dodo, and the Dodo wins by being voted out.
• The 2023 Pride fundraiser Quiplash stream:
  • When they hit $5000 in donations, Luke cracks, "Imagine how much we could raise if we were funny!"
  • Andy's proposal for a dish that gets you uninvited from future potlucks is "Turmiken", as in a turducken with Mike in it. This prompts Johnny to talk, somewhat ruefully, about their community's enthusiasm for Black Comedy Cannibalism.
  • "Kids these days are skipping first base and going straight to blank."
    Luke: Pinch hitting^note as he puts it, "Pinch hitting is a baseball term, and it's the only one I could think of that sounded vaguely rude
    Andy: Acrimonious divorce.
  • "If you lived in the early 1500's, what would you nail to the door of a church?"
    Andy: Henry the Seventh
    Johnny: Player's Handbook, they'd absolutely lose it
  • "What's the easiest way to get on ESPN's highlight reel?"
    Jane: Touchdown dance (rude)
    Luke: Win a million footballs in a row
  • A familiar question about the "awesome side effects of climate change" gets derailed when chat points out that with sea levels rising, battlefields are now oceans, in a clever reversal of the Master and Commander line that had been a Running Gag for at least a year by that point. It does tremendous damage to everyone's concentration.
  • "The three reasons you're not getting into heaven":
    Mike: No shirt, no shoes, no salvation
    Johnny: No exist. Also, many bad deeds. But mostly no exist.
  • Luke gets a game victory in the middle of telling a story about how he was crying so hard at Toy Story 3 that he faked a toilet emergency so he could clean himself up a bit.
  • "Family secret! Grandma keeps her cash in:"
    Andy: Grandpa
  • The Master and Commander meta eventually gets so entrenched that Luke loudly insists that he hasn't used it once in the stream.
  • The final prompt, after they've raised $20,000 in donations for the Trevor Project, is "The real treasures we found along the way".
    Johnny: Friendship. Haha just kidding. It's money.
    Ellen: Ocean battlefields. Friendship, I guess. $20000.
• During the Super Mario Bros. Wonder stream:
  • Luke spends most of the intro harassing Luigi.
  • As Luke is playing Peach and Jane is playing Daisy, they decide they must compete to seduce the visitor Prince Florian. Upon seeing he is sort of a caterpillar looking creature, Jane is repulsed, but Luke wishes to continue with the seduction.
  • Both Luke and Cameraman James, as the guest fourth player, insist that the Wonder Flower isn't real: The group is clearly on a trip after eating psychoactive plants.
  • Luke insists that the group not help Prince Florian until payment is worked out.
• Japan World Cup 3, an already bizarre game, becomes even more bizarre when the team selects it for their 4AM end of the year video. Highlights include:
  • Andy completely losing his mind at the bizarre racers. Culminating into complete laughter when one of them begins pulling a large semi-truck with a pop singer.
  • Luke's insistence on betting on the American Kaiju machine despite it constantly crashing into the Japanese one. His gambling gets to the point of angrily throwing the game's box when the Japanese one edges out a win by feigning a rowing move to gain speed.
  • Luke finally getting a victory by the American rider pulling out a drill and sticking it in the rear of the Japanese horse.
  • Ellen's choice of a pair of French ladies on a tandem horse that extends its neck, particularly when the women do a scissors leg move causing the horse's neck to grow and Ellen wonders if she needs to censor it.
  • Mike immediately latches onto Seaworld, an Australian seal being jockeyed by a baby. And goes ballistic when it starts beating up the other riders.
  • Jane wonders if the Trojan horse following apart and the riders running across the line counts as a win.
  • Ellen's horse launches itself like a rocket. And then lands just before the finish line.