Funny / Legends of Tomorrow

Trailers

• Martin Stein is utterly unimpressed with the team that's been assembled, culminating in:
  Stein: And a billionaire who has more tech than he clearly knows what to do with.
  Ray: I know exactly what to do with it. [arm rocket briefly goes off] Most of the time.
• Snart's anguished reaction to Ray Tempting Fate: "Why did you say that?"
• The sheer disbelief Sara and Stein react with to Ray telling them he discovered how to shrink.
  Sara: So...you weren't dead?
  Ray: [completely jovial] Nope!
  Stein: You were just...small?
  Ray: [mood falters] You don't believe me?
  Stein: [stares and shakes his head as if he thinks Ray is a complete lunatic]
  • Doubly hilarious when you remember that Sara herself is Back from the Dead and Stein can't really talk on being believable concerning his power set.
• Rip Hunter shows that Arthur Darvill is going to be just as funny as he was on Doctor Who:
  Rip: Rip Hunter, I'm from East London. [beat] Oh, and the future.
• After Captain Cold's smug attitude throughout his screentime on The Flash, it's quite satisfying to see his utterly gobsmacked expression at Rip Hunter's invisible plane.
• Jax made a comment on 1970's fashion:
  Jax: People actually wore this crap!?
• During a massive Bar Brawl:
  Heat Wave: I LOVE THE SEVENTIES!
• In the 'Change History' trailer, Rip tells off Sara like an angry parent for bringing so many knives.
  Rip: I specifically said no weapons!
• The text in the "Humanity's Last Hope" promo:
  THEY ARE HUMANITY'S LAST HOPE
  YOU CAN THANK US LATER
• In Heatwave's trailer:
  Heatwave: (to Cold) Can I burn some stuff now?
  Cold: I wish you would.
  • Another one liner from Rip Hunter from the same trailer:
  Rip Hunter: You're not nearly as thick as people say.
  Heatwave: "Thick"? Does that mean stupid?

Series:

Season 1

Episode 1: Pilot Part 1

• While Carter and Kendra are having an argument over flying, Rip has this golden line:
  Rip: Have you two considered couples counseling? I heard it's popular in this century.
• Snart is naturally thrown to find himself waking up on the roof with all these people.
  Snart: Stein? What are you doing here?
  Stein: I'm as ignorant as you, for once.
• The somewhat too "trying-to-be-cool" way Rip mentions that he's from East London "and THE FUTURE".
• It's a bit hard to see due to the lighting, but when Snart and Mick are discussing whether to join the team, it looks like Snart is reading a COMIC BOOK. (the pages are glossy, seem to be red and black, and something is in a yellow text box in the corner)
  • It's actually a car magazine. If you look closely in the black part of the cover, you can see part of an engine.
• Mick's deeply philosophical answer to the question about why he and Snart became criminals:
  Mick: Because we hate work and we love money.
• Jax refuses to meet with Rip again and take part in the mission...so Stein drugs him.
  • As they're getting onto the ship for the first time, Stein gets Mick's help to carry the (still unconscious) Jax onto the ship... and Mick actually goes through with it.
  • Mick wants some of Stein's roofie.
  Stein: I did not roofie him!
  Mick: Oh, I ain't judging.
• Rip being very nonchalant about the side-effects of time travel.
  Rip: Some of you might experience some slight discomfort. In very rare instances, there will be some...uh...bleeding from the eyeballs.
• Hunter says that the mission does not require the skillset of Sara, Cold, or Heatwave.
  Cold: Meaning you don't need anyone killed, maimed, or robbed.
  Rip: Exactly.
• On the wisdom of leaving Snart and Mick on the ship:
  Ray: You sure it's a good idea to leave these two unsupervised on a time machine?
  Mick: Hey Haircut, deafness isn't one of the side-effects.
• Stein is surprised Jax wants to stay on the ship with the aforementioned criminals.
  Stein: You'd rather stay with them?
  Jax: They didn't drug me!
  Stein: Point taken.
• When they're in the 70's, Sara, Jax, Mick, and Snart are watching TV on the ship.
  Mick: Why does this stupid station play nothing but reruns?
  Sara: [opens her mouth]
  Jax: Don't even bother trying to explain.
• Snart keeps on giving Sara heart eyes whenever she suggests things like "drinking" or "fighting."
  • Sara, Snart and Mick being all buddy-buddy so quickly alone is pretty funny.
  • Sara, Cold and Heatwave decide to go out for "drinks" basically as soon as Rip leaves. Jax tries to go with them, but Cold quickly stops him.
    Cold: You're not quite ready to run with this crew. Sorry kid.
  • When Sara gets into a fight with a man who refuses to take "No" for an answer, Snart and Mick exchange a pleased expression, complete with Mick raising his eyebrows and smiling, as if saying "I like her!"
  • Heat Wave fulfills the bar fight cliches: hitting someone with a stool and dragging someone over the length of the bar.
    Mick: I LOVE the 70s!
  • The guy Mick hits with a stool? It's not even clear if he was part of the fight.
• Ray was a student of Martin's. Martin, however, does not remember him, something Ray is deeply upset by.
• The, for lack of a better term, Big Damn Heroes moment when Snart, Mick and Sara arrive back at the ship, ramming Chronos in the process:
  Snart: We go out for one lousy drink and you guys somehow manage to pick a fight with Boba Fett!
  • Followed by the moment when you realize this happened only because they obviously stole the car.
  • There's also some twisted humor in rewatching this after The Reveal of Chronos's identity.
• Kendra and Sara both punching Rip in the face for lying to the team.
  Rip: Will you people please stop hitting me?!
  • The team actually gets on the same page when they're all pissed at Rip for lying.
    Mick: Give me one good reason why we shouldn't kill you.
    Stein: Ditto the arsonist.
• The reason why Mick sticks around after Rip reveals his lies?
  Mick: I like killing people.

Episode 2: Pilot Part 2

• Rip quickly learns the cons of having a criminal like Cold on the team.
  Rip: Actually I'm in charge in case any of you had forgotten.
  Cold: No, I remember, I just don't care.
• The revelation that Stein was a pot-smoking hippie in his youth, has both Sara and Jax grinning wildly and the current stuffy professor fuming in indignation. You can see them, especially Jax, get big grins on hearing "Marty" offer to "spark a doobie".
• The gang realize they have to get a special dagger.
  Rip: As for the dagger...
  Ray: You need someone to steal it.
  Snart: Okay, fine, whatever, I'll do it.
• Stein worried about tempting his past self with "a sexy assassin from the future."
  Sara: Aw, you think I'm se-
  Stein: Do not finish that sentence.
• Mick/Heat Wave's reaction to Stein blaming him for the mission going wrong, with him expressing an amusing sadness since he thought they were friends.
  • And before that, Mick actually enjoys Stein's bluff against the guards and calls him a special kind of crazy.
  • On a meta level, him grumbling "You're welcome, Norway" under his breath becomes one when you remember Dominic Purcell is of Norwegian descent.
• Sara beats up Savage's thugs in the lab whilst stoned. She then wishes the scientists a lovely evening.
• Mick's very casual reaction when telling Snart that it turned out they were stealing from Vandal's mansion.
• Stein's complete infuriation at his younger self's arrogance, not at all like he is now.
• Sara knocking the past Stein out with his bong.
  • And then stealing a roll of his pot on the way out.
• At their first meeting with past!Stein, Sara starts flirting with him to help with their mission, which works very well. Present!Stein looks extremely weirded out about witnessing this happen right in front of him.

Episode 3: Blood Ties

• Rip wants Jax to fix the jump ship.
  Rip: You're a mechanic!
  Jax: Automechanic. [Waves hands around] Spaceship.
• Rip gives Rory some False Reassurance.
  Rip: Thank you, Mister Rory. You're not as thick as everyone says you are. [leaves]
  Rory: Thick...that means stupid, right?
• Stein's reaction when Ray brings up the Titanic, as if Victor Garber is thinking "When will I live that down?"
• Sara giving Rip advice on tactics from Ra's al Ghul.
  Sara: If you can't kill your enemy, weaken him. If you can't cut off his head, take his heart.
  Rip: Mr. al Ghul was quite the poet.
• Snart and Rory offer their services to get at the bank.
  Rory: We know how to case banks. We're practically bankers.
  Snart: Except we take the money out.
• Jax refuses to help Snart and Rory take the jump ship out.
  Jax: So if you want to shoot me, shoot me.
  Rory: [Leaping from his seat excitedly] Can I shoot him?
  Snart: You've got a pair on you, kid. I respect that.
  Rory: So, no shooting...
  • What sells it is how Snart holds up his hand with the air of having to do this numerous times with Rory, who looks downright bummed at not getting to shoot anyone.
• When the team prepares to jump to the 80's, Ray makes a comment about parachute pants, causing Jax to ask what those are. Ray and Sara just exchange looks, as if daring each other to explain that fashion travesty to him.
• A meta one is Sara saying that she's not much of a dancer, considering that Caity Lotz got her start as a backup dancer.

Episode 4: White Knights

• When Rip announces they are going to steal from the Pentagon, Ray gets excited and wants to dress as a G-man. Cut to him and Snart dressed as janitors.
• The team's attempt to break into the Pentagon has ended in Kendra going nuts and slashing up soldiers, Firestorm electrocuted and flying out through the ceiling and Rory nearly setting the place on fire. Back on the ship...
  Ray: Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, let's focus on the positive...
  Rory: What are you talking about? It was awesome.
  Stein: In the same way tsunamis, earthquakes and other natural disasters are "awesome."
• Ray loves the translator device that allows him to speak in Russian.
  Snart: Now you're annoying in multiple languages.
• Snart getting the best one-liner yet:
  Snart: I guess I'll have to bone up on the ballet. [calling out] Gideon! Bone me.
• Snart's running gag of stealing the security clearance of beautiful women... as well as their wallets.
  Ray: Really? We're trying to save the world and you're lifting wallets?
  Snart: [smugly] It's called multitasking.
  • Later, he swipes Valentina's keycard while flirting with her. Ray's glad he didn't also take her wallet, only for Snart to proudly pull that out too.
• Snart unable to resist the obvious line:
  Snart: Damn, that was cold! Even by Russian standards.
• Valentina discovering who Snart is.
  Valentina: You work for the American government?
  Snart: I'm wanted by the American government; does that count?
• Rip gets Rory to agree to fight Chronos with him by promising that he'll likely get to kill someone. When Druce shows up instead, Rory whines when Rip doesn't give the okay to kill him.
• Snart calls Ray a boy scout, and Ray retorts that he's actually an Eagle Scout. Later, Ray quotes the boy scout motto when trying to convince Snart to save Valentina. Snart's face has to be seen to believed.
• During their fight, Sara hits Kendra and causes her to stagger back. Kendra's response? Go full hawk-mode, run up to Sara, and kick her square in the chest.

Episode 5: Fail-Safe

• A Bratva captain says that if Rip's friends are in The Kushmar Gulag, then they must be "insane, ruthless animals." Cut to Ray, trying to give a friendly greeting to the other prisoners.
  Bratva Captain: If your friends are there, they must be insane, ruthless, animals.
  [Cuts to:]
  Ray: Hey. Howdy. How you doing?
• Snart talking about breaking into the gulag:
  Snart: This isn't my first Prison Break.
• Sara's irritation that Rip and Snart are still working on their first opponent after she's taken out six.
  • Also, The fact that Snart makes Rip do all the hard work and just lounges around the sauna, watching the fight.
• While Ray's getting his ass kicked, Mick steals a lighter and just stares at the flame for the rest of the day.
• When Ray woke up after being beaten up in the prison backyard, two of the guards were making bets on whether Ray is dead or alive.
• Jax's reaction after covering 100 yards in less than 12 seconds in spite of his damaged ACL.
  Jax: Barry Allen who?
• Rory's fantastic callback to his previous reference by telling his torturer that he won't go "Rocky IV on his ass" because "Ivan Drago lives at the end of the movie." Hilarious and badass.

Episode 6: Star City 2046

• Mick Rory considers the best reason for killing a gang boss and gaining his gang? The fur coat.
• This line by Mick and Snart:
  Snart: It's like World War III out there!
  Rory: It's beautiful!
• Snart taking a shot on Sara's dad being a police captain: "He did a hell of a job."
• Ray pouting over Felicity changing the name of the company to "Smoak" despite the fact he left it to her.
• Stein gets visibly annoyed when he hears Ray and Kendra spending quality time repairing the ship. Turns out that his irritation came from Jax's emotions thanks to the Psychic Link they shared.
  • The role has been switched when Jax found out that Stein has inadvertently encouraged Ray to ask Kendra out. Only this time, Jax senses guilt and panic from Stein.
  • Stein may consider himself wise and a "ladies man", but his attempts at helping were hilarious in how painfully awkward they were.
  • Stein's response when Ray says that it's like a high school drama:
  "I wouldn't know, I skipped 10th grade. [Beat] And 11th."

Episode 7: Marooned

• Ray's excitement about being made acting captain of The Waverider, and references to Star Trek and Star Wars, as well as his banter with Kendra about whether he was more like Kirk or Picard.
  • Snart's response to their banter.
    "This isn't a prison. It's a torture chamber!"
• Mick's frustration in the beginning with being stuck on the ship.
  "I'm sore because I was recruited for my unique ability to light things on fire, and now I'm locked in the one place where I can't light things on fire."
• Ray doesn't have either a favorite color or a favorite Beatle because it would be unfair to the others.
  • Doubles as a Mythology Gag, as his character was initially planned to be Ted Kord, aka Blue Beetle.
• Space Ranger Stein and his daring escape.
• Kendra effortlessly ripping off the chest plate of Ray's suit and tossing it aside so she could get him breathing again.

Episode 8: Night of the Hawk

• After Ray and Kendra settle in as newlyweds, Savage shows up as a friendly new neighbor with a tuna surprise. When they're on the Waverider giving their report, Ray is eating it in the background.
  Ray: Say what you will about Savage, but the man makes a mean casserole.
  • The sheer idea of Vandal Savage, one of the most deadly men to ever walk the Earth and ever will, making casserole for his new neighbors is utterly hilarious.
• After Rip assigns everyone in the ship a role to play, Snart asks what he gets to do. Cue in dramatic music, and the next scene shows him and Rip in full FBI smock: black hat, black suit, and dark sunglasses - he finally got to dress up and pretend to be a government suit!
• Stein is being nostalgic, reflecting of the 'idyllic times' of the past. Sara and Jax disagree. There is an added meta-irony when you consider that, while Stein checks all three boxes the two mention, Victor Garber) misses one, seeing as he is openly gay and has been married to a man since 2015.
  Stein: Even someone as jaded as yourself can’t deny how idyllic this time was.
  Jax: Yeah, if you're white.
  Sara: And a man. And straight.
  • Also, Jax can't resist throwing out this line:
    Jax: I used to watch all these old horror movies with my mom, they all started off with places like this!
  • When they spot a cheerleader who knew some of the missing people, we get this conversation.
    Stein: Perhaps she can illuminate us as to their whereabouts.
    Jax: Dude, can you not just say: "Hey, Jax, why don't you go talk to her and find out what she knows?" Like a normal person.
    Stein: Hey, Jax, why don't you just go do that?
• Stein pushes Sara a little too far with her cover identity. She twice reminds him she can keep a tortured man alive for days:
  Sara: Just so you know, Ra's-al-Ghul taught me how to kill someone slowly. Over days.
  • And, later, when he asks her for files:
    Sara: Literally. For days.
• Sara befriending a fellow nurse, and showing her it's ok to be gay.
  Stein: While I've been busy working, you've been busy seducing that young woman!
  Sara: Actually I was liberating her. With an option to seduce her later.

Episode 9: Left Behind

• Sara and Kendra playing The Game of Life in 1958.
  Sara: Here you go, $10,000 salary.
  Kendra: That's it? I made more as a barista.
  Sara: Well, it's 1958. You're lucky to make that much as a woman.
• When Rip talks about how dangerous and murderous Ra's is, Ray is giving a nod as if saying "yep, underselling it."
• The team are captured infiltrating Nanda Parbat with Rip pulled up next to Sara and sardonically noting "Found her."
• Ra's al Ghul's incredulous reaction at the entire Legends team having a fight in his home, long before there were any superheroes in the world.
• When Chronos steals the Waverider:
  Snart: The ladies will be left behind.
  Jax: What about Ray?
  Snart: Like I said.
• When Ray is asking Kendra if she wants anything from their apartment, he mentions a "lucky water vase", much to Stein's confusion.
• Ray describing the Lazarus Pit as a "life-extending jacuzzi".
• Snart asks Rip why he didn't tell the team that the ship has a machine that can regenerate limbs before. Rip tells him it's because no one lost one yet, which Snart concedes is fair.

Episode 10: Progeny

• Jax complaining "150 years in the future and people still wear wool?"
• Jax and Sara mocking Stein's reaction to the future as either "Fascinating" or "Astonishing" in his accents.
• Rip is about to introduce Sara as his personal assistant, but one look at her, and he quickly amends it to "bodyguard."
• The entire episode, Ray is worried that he unknowingly left a child back in 2016, and after that child inherited his technology, they sold it to the military and eventually put it in Savage's hands. He is astonished and annoyed when he finds out it was actually his "stupid brother" Sydney.
• The current heir of Palmer Tech is understandably bewildered when some guy in an ATOM suit starts babbling about his stolen tech and being her great-great-great-great-grandfather.
• Snart summing up the future:
  Snart: No litter, no street crime, no smog. How soon can we leave?
• Gideon mentions that she can see the dreams of people onboard, and proves it by telling Sara that the previous night she had "a rollicking fantasy involving a young nurse."
• When the weapons systems on the Waverider are taken out, Gideon says they can't fight back. Stein visibly blinks and says "We have superpowers."
• Jax explaining the concept of "ghosting" to Stein.
• When Ray has to come up with an alias on the spot, he chooses "Hannibal Lecter", earning a double take from Jax.

Episode 11: The Magnificent Eight

• The gang feel even more effects of such a long time jump.
  Jax: I can't feel my face.
  Snart: Fine feel I.
  Rip: Linguistic dysplasia, that should pass shortly.
  Snart: Better it now?
  Jax: Am I the only one who can't feel their face?
  Ray: I can't feel my...I'd better not say.
• Rip tells the gang they have to stay on the ship but they want to experience the Old West.
  Sara: Come on, what can happen?
  Stein: With this group? Clearly, you have not been paying attention.
• Ray declares that if he can't experience the Old West, "I'll kick myself!"
  Snart: I can help with that.
• The Bar Brawl in this episode tops the one from the pilot:
  • The guy playing the piano still tries to keep playing despite the mayhem.
  • A guy thrown by Ray makes the Wilhelm Scream.
  • Even Kendra joins in, hitting a guy with a stool.
  • And all the while, Mick misses out on the fun because he got knocked out by drinking with Sara.
• Hex surprises the team by figuring out when they're from.
  Hex: You think you're the first time travelers I've met?
  Stein: Um, yes?
• The team returning to the ship.
  Ray: We may have gotten into a bar brawl in town.
  Rip: Well, that was entirely predictable.
• Ray introducing himself as Salvation's new sheriff: John Wayne.
  • And the old sheriff informing Ray that he's getting the hell out and the job's his.
• Ray tells Jonah that their ship has futuristic medical tech that can fix his Facial Horror...but doesn't even finish telling him, as Jonah Death Glares at him for saying there's something wrong with his face. Ray just drops the issue after that.
• Jonah Hex punching Rip in the face and Rip muttering "I deserved that."
• The look on Jonah Hex's face when he sees Firestorm in action for the first time, complete with him making the sign of the cross.

Episode 12: Last Refuge

• Past!Quentin tells Past!Sara that it's every father's dreams to "lock" up their daughters until they reach 30.
• Ray attempting to understand how Ret-Gone works:
  Ray: How long does it take for what happened in the past to effect the present? Could I be dead now and not know it? Maybe I am dead right now. Hello? Can anybody hear me?
  Snart: No.
• Sara breaks up a fight between Young!Sara and Young!Rory after the former slaps the latter.
  Sara: You! Hands to yourself. And next time, hit with a flat palm. And you! She's not your type!
• Sara and Kendra, disguised as nurses, are attempting to snatch newborn Leonard Snart from the hospital nursery.
  Sara: Alright, this is just like any other mission. The mark might be a newborn, but it might as well be a diamond or a microchip.
  Kendra: You know, you're starting to sound like Snart. Sara: [Look of disgust] Ugh.
  Kendra: Okay, which one is Snart?
  Sara: Look for the one with horns.
  Kendra: Found him.
  Sara: Great. Grab him. Let's go.
  Kendra: [High pitched cutesy voice] Hello baby Snart! Oh, look at you! [Starts cooing at him.]
  Sara: Kendra, come on. We don't have time for this.
  Kendra: Look!
  Sara: [Also high pitched cutesy voice] Aww, look at those cheeks! You're the cutest little baby in the world!
• Snart tries to give the woman at the Refuge a warning:
  Snart: I know I make a gorgeous baby, but I should warn you: You’ll have your hands full with me.
• When Sara and Kendra go into the nursery all the babies are in pink or blue blankets...except Baby Snart, who is in a pitch-black blanket.
• A Quentin from before any of the Arrowverse's weirdness started is thrown onto a time-traveling ship by an older version of his daughter. He asks if there are Martians coming next (probably better not to tell him about a certain other Earth).
• Rip and Rory (badly) impersonate doctors to kidnap Stein at his birth. (Like Rory forgetting no cell phones and mixing up pre- and post-natal check ups). It works. Stein lampshades this later by asking how his parents gave him up so easily.
  Ray: Well, the 1950s was a much more trusting time. I should know, I lived there for a while.
• Stein is born in a car on the way to the hospital. In the five seconds it takes from being born to being shown to the camera, he has had his cord cut and wrapped in a blanket.

Episode 13: Leviathan

• Rip explains his plan requires the services of...
  Rory: Killer, Klepto and Pyro!
  Rip: Bingo.
• Snart and Rory decide to get at Savage by "playing it like Chicago." This involves Rory tripping Rip without any warning to distract the guards. Rip berates them afterward.
  Snart: It was to distract Savage's guards. Which worked, by the way.
  Rip: I could have been killed!
  Rory: Never said it worked perfectly.
• Kendra tells Sara to get the bracelet off Cassandra.
  Sara: Are you seriously jewelry shopping now?
• Rip telling Sara to get Kendra ready to use her bracelet on Savage.
  Sara: How am I supposed to help someone fight with a piece of jewelry?
  Rip: Good question.
  Sara: It wasn't rhetorical!
• The team is met at gunpoint by resistance soldiers.
  Commander: Give me one good reason why we shouldn't blow you straight to hell.
  Stein: Better yet, give her several good reasons.
• Snart's interrogation of Cassandra Savage starts with him cheerily calling her Cassie, to her obvious bewilderment.
• Heatwave claims they want to steal Cassandra's bracelet as it would look good on him.
  Heatwave: It works with my outfit.

Episode 14: River of Time

• Mick bluntly saying that they should just kill Savage and leave Carter a brainwashed slave, while Snart and Sara nod in agreement.
  Mick: He reincarnates!
• Stein marvels at the robot's technology:
  Stein: Amazing. This neuromorphic profile is astonishingly futuristic.
  Kendra: (with a bit of a "duh" expression) Yeah, it's from 2166.
• During the battle with Savage:
  Savage: Who are you to stand against me, Vandal Savage, Destroyer of Empires?
  Snart: Leonard Snart, Robber of ATMs!
• When Cold and Heatwave are raiding the galley:
  Rory: [Spits out some food] Why are all the snacks in the future sugar-free?
  Snart: So much for progress.
  • The discontent doesn't stop Rory from stuffing his face anyway.
• Savage has spent his very long life pondering how Rip escaped the cell Savage put him in back in Egypt. Turns out he bribed the guard with a Filipino novelty pen of a woman losing her clothes, which he won in an army poker game.
• When soldiers race in to arrest the team, Mick is just sitting calmly nursing an empty bottle when they tell him he's under arrest.
  Rory: If I had a nickel for every time I heard that...
• There is something kind of funny (and heartwarming) that Sara and Snart are shown playing cards while waiting to hear back on the Savage Arrest. Sara is on a bed, Snart is kneeling next to it, and it has this casual air of "we do this a lot". Including Sara warning Snart not to distract her in a very familiar way.

Episode 15: Destiny

• Ray's idea of a last meal? Cupcakes. Lots of them.
  "If I'm going to die, no point watching my diet."
• When Rip is explaining how the Time Masters have been manipulating them all, Mick hits Ray on the arm hard, then asks if the Time Masters made him do it.
• Sara asks why anyone would want Ray dead. Mick asks if she's ever listened to him speak.
• In a Stable Time Loop the reason that Stein roofied Jax is revealed. Future Jax gave him the idea.
• When Rip almost falls into the Oculus' power source, Mick gets a hold of him and saves him:
  Mick: I'm not doing this 'cause I like you!
  Rip: Yes, I know.
• When Ray figures out Mick maintained his personality was thanks to caring about the team, Mick demands Ray not tell the others.
  Mick: You tell anyone I care, I'll shave your head.

Episode 16: Legendary

• Sara jokingly complaining about her boots getting wet when Firestorm causes water to run over them.
• After watching Kendra and Carter take flight, Mick remarks that "Every time they do that, I get hungry for chicken."
  • A bit earlier, when they say they're going to give their relationship a fresh try: "I give it three months, tops."
• Jax has trouble using the transmutation power when his life isn't threatened. Stein responds, "I never thought I'd say this, but I think we need a Nazi."
• Ray uses a shrink ray on the meteorite he's dealing with, resulting in what should be an Earth-Shattering Kaboom becoming a hilariously small puff of smoke.
• Stein using his experiences to cheat at Trivial Pursuit with his wife.
• Stein and Ray reveal their separate methods of calling the Waverider:
  Ray: Radio beacon.
  Stein: Quantum entangler.
  Mick: Boring!
• Mick is quite disappointed that he didn't get to kill Savage twice.

Season 2:

Episode 1: Out of Time

• Mick explaining what happened with the team:
  Mick: I knew we were in trouble when Rip made us put on blouses just to save the King of France.
  Past Mick: I look like an idiot.
• Sara sleeps with the Queen of France less than an hour before she's supposed to conceive Louis XIV, who will usher in a golden age for France.
  Rip: [with regards to what they did wrong] As in, seducing the Queen of France...
  Sara: She seduced me.
  • The cuts between the Legends fighting a pitched battle and Sara and Queen Anne's passionate embraces is rather funny as well.
• When King Louis XIII asks who the Legends are, a half-dressed Sara tells him "I believe the queen is waiting for you in her bedroom."
  Jax: And I'll bet she's all warmed up for you, too. (winks at Sara)
  • Of course Jax had to be the one to talk about something being "warmed up".
• Mick says that at least he didn't screw up this time. Rip angrily pulls out of his hat a golden necklace he obviously snatched.
  Mick: Stealing's not screwing up.
• Albert Einstein's Insistent Terminology regarding "atomic bomb" versus the more technically accurate "nuclear bomb".
• Stein is delighted that they're going to meet Albert Einstein. Much to his chagrin, he turns out to be a Dirty Old Man when they see him. Mick, on the other hand...
  Mick: Oh, I like him. He's a pig.
  • Later, when they're trying to save him from his would-be kidnappers, and he refuses to cooperate, Stein just goes for the easiest route:
  Stein: For every action...(punches Einstein out) there's an equal and opposite reaction.
• Crossing over with a Moment of Awesome, Mick Rory happily joining the battle to defeat the German minions and help retrieve Mileva plus capture Darhk's nuke:
  Mick: [firing heat gun] I love roasting Nazis!
• Oliver's reason for not wanting to help find the other Legends? He has no time for time travel.
• Mick piloting the Waverider and bringing Nate, a historian and first time time traveler, with him:
  Nate: I can't believe this. We're about to travel through time!
  Mick: Did I tell you about the side effects?
  [the Waverider accelerates; Nate gets pushed back into his seat]
  Nate: [slightly muffled] What side effects?!
• Ray running away from a T-Rex. Also the brief shot of a newspaper wondering if fossil evidence of a "Jurassic Man" is a hoax.
• Sara is stuck in Salem, about to be hanged as a witch for "corrupting" the local women.
  Sara: In my defense, they were happily corrupted. [winks at a girl]
  • She seems supremely unconcerned about the noose; she's obviously capable of escaping at any time, and is just humoring them.
• Stein and Jax pass themselves off as wizards in Medieval times, partly through Jax passing off his smartphone as a "magic mirror."

Episode 2: The Justice Society of America

• A short dialogue between Stein and Jax in their Firestorm mode when they're dodging Star Girl's laser blasts.
  Stein: She's trying to kill us!
  Jax: Naw, she's just flirting.
• The JSA assume Stein is the leader as the eldest. The rest of the Legends give "oh, are you kidding me?" reactions.
• One of the Nazis chastises Ray for not doing the "Heil Hitler" salute. Ray tries to make up an excuse, but the guy insists.
  Nazi: Heil Hitler.
  Ray: (reluctantly raising the hand) H...H...Aw, hell. (punches the guy out)
  • To be fair, his hesitance was to be expected. There are things Superman will not do...
  • And immediately Jax is mad that he didn't get to punch the guy first for insulting him earlier.
• It just seems that the team getting into a Bar Brawl will become a Running Gag, pity that the Justice Society shows up to spoil it before it escalates.
• The JSA are totally unfazed at the high-tech setup of the Waverider.
  Stein: What's important is that we stop arguing.
  Hourman: Does your team ever stop arguing?
  Stein: Fair point.
• When it's pointed out that Max Lorenz is a good deal taller than Stein, Sara crouches a bit to make him look taller.
• Nate tries to explain the plan using the Waverider's computer, then has to sheepishly ask for someone who knows how to use it.
• The difference between an actual team and whatever the Legends are.
  Ray: They always agree. We can't even agree on whose turn it is to cook dinner.
  Sara: Not it.

Episode 3: Shogun

• This exchange:
  Stein: Where are Dr. Palmer and Dr. Heywood?
  Sara: Did you check out the window?
  Stein: What?
  Amaya: How is it you people haven't managed to kill yourselves yet?
  Mick: The day is still young!
• Nate's practically squeeing over his new powers, and sparring with Ray while Jax cheers like he's watching wrestling.
  • And just as Sara is assuring Amaya that they are professionals and they know what they're doing, they hear the sounds of Ray shooting at Nate and walk in to find them acting like a couple of kids.
  Amaya: Professionals?
  Sara: Ish.
• Mick losing patience with Gideon's detailed descriptions of the Waverider's damage, and demands that the A.I. just tell them they're screwed. Gideon complies in the most literally way.
• Nate's dazed evaluation when he crash-lands in Feudal Japan:
  Nate: Edo period. I'm in 17th century Japan. That's cool. [faints into crater he made]
• Mick and Amaya's bantering:
  Amaya: (talking to Sara) How can you bring a thug on a rescue mission? (turns to Mick) I've known men like you. Men who take and prey on the weak.
  Mick: Listen, girly. I'm risking my neck for two morons who fell out of the ship. Why? 'Cause they'd do the same for me. Why are you on this ship?
  Amaya: 'Cause I'm a member of the Justice Society of America. It's my job to protect everyone.
  Mick: Except for me. Snuck up behind me and tried to slice my throat like a ninja.
  Amaya: There's no such thing as ninjas, you idiot.
  Mick: Tell that to Chuck Norris.
  Amaya: Who's that?
  Mick: And I'm the idiot.
• Nate stands up to the Shogun's men on Masako's behalf, assuming his steel powers would activate. They don't.
  Nate: [wheezing from a blow] Can you just — one second? You caught me off-guard. [deep breath] Okay, now come at me.
  [Samurai hits him again with no trouble]
• Sara's Call-Back to one of Felicity's moments in Arrow:
  Samurai: You are already defeated before you have even begun. I have been trained in the art of war by Shimura himself.
  Sara: League of Assassins, class of '09.
• The attempted attack on the Shogun's palace.
  Ray: [perky] Hey, guys.
  Mick: Wrong way, haircut! [spins Ray around and pushes him forward]
  Ray: But what about my suit? [sees Tokugawa in it] We can get it later! [runs post-haste]
• The team is understandably confused as to how Tokugawa got Ray's suit.
  Sara: How does the Shogun even know how to operate your suit?
  Ray: I designed it so that an idiot could use it.
  Mick: An idiot does.
• When Ray is down because he knows he has to destroy his suit, Masako's father tells him a story about his son's wonderful armor, and how he would much rather have his son back than the armor.
  Ray: I know what you're saying...I don't need armor to defeat the Shogun.
  Masako's Father: Don't be ridiculous! He'd kill you in seconds!
• Mick is "really" happy to see ninjas up close in Tokugawa-era Japan.
• The Cold Open has Mick looking for a knife when he finds Amaya's dagger at his throat:
  Mick: Oh...there's one. Look, if this is about me taking all the mayonnaise, you might be slightly overreacting.
• It's not given much attention, but the look on Nate's face when Masako talks about how wise Master Yoda is without realizing what she's talking about.
• Mick's awestruck, elated reaction when Amaya gives him a shuriken for his proof that he "met" ninjas.

Episode 4: Abominations

• Mick uses his gun to torch the time ship.
  Mick: What next?
  Stein: Don't you think that's enough incineration for one day, Mr. Rory?
  Mick: No, I do not, Professor!
  • Followed immediately by Jax saying this is one of their easiest missions yet. Cue a cry for help...
  Stein: You had to say that, didn't you?
• Ray misses his team's fight with Confederate zombies because he took a pee break.
• Ultra-logical and realistic Professor Stein's secret phobia of brain-eating zombies.
  Stein: [To Ray] This is a nightmare! If Mr. Rory's intention is to eat our brains, can you imagine the feast we'll provide him given our combined intellects!
  [...]
  Stein: [sees Ray knocked unconscious] No, Raymond, don't be dead. On the other hand, if you are dead...please stay dead.
  [...]
  Stein: [prepping himself to administer vaccine] Okay, Martin. Just do what they did in those zombie movies...that you never had the courage to watch.
• Extremely brief, but Jax's expression of disbelief when Mr. Collins refuses to lend him some weapons to help him fight off the zombies. One would think he'd appreciate his life more than his pride as a slave owner.
• Nate's choice of insults while leading the zombies away from the Union camp.
  Nate: Come and get me, you ugly freaks! That's it! Follow me, you big dummies!
  • General Grant's comment on it:
  General Grant: That gent is either the bravest man I have ever had in my ranks, or the dumbest.
  • And the crowner, when he comes out of the pile, all covered in zombie guts.
• When zombified Mick lunges at Stein just before Ray's vaccine takes effect.
  Mick: [wide-eyed with shock] Professor, what's going on? Was I just trying to kiss you?

Episode 5: Compromised

• The sight of Darhk in a 1987 suit straight out of Miami Vice is just damn funny.
• When the DEA busts the drug deal and gunfire rips around him, Darhk just gives a reaction of "ugh, this again?"
  • Then annoyed when Reverse-Flash races in to take everyone down.
• For a man so thrilled with time travel, it's humorous that Martin doesn't know who Doc Brown is.
  • Which makes a Shout-Out three episodes ago even more Hilarious in Hindsight, since it means it was completely unintentional on his part.
• Ray's godawful attempts at being like Snart, including failure at Rebel Relaxation, stealing a handful of Ronald Reagan's jellybeans, and bringing apple slices to a stakeout with Mick.
  Mick: (watching Ray pose with the cold gun) What are you doing?
  Ray: Trying to be cool.
  Mick: Maybe this was a bad idea...
  • An Epic Fail moment when Ray accidentally crossed streams with the Cold Gun and Mick's Heat Gun.
  Mick: What did I say about crossing streams!?
  Ray: But you said that we don't follow rules!
  Mick: That's the one rule we follow!
• When Darhk is meeting his KGB contact:
  "It is Boris, isn't it? Or is it Igor? I find it's always one or the other with you KGB agents."
• Mick really wants to punch out Young!Martin.
  Young!Martin: Oh, God, I'm too young to die! I'm too brilliant to die!
  Stein: Could one of you shut me up?!
  Mick: Gladly (Ray restrains him punching Young!Martin)
• Sara's priceless "ugh, this again" expression when the two Steins start arguing.
• Nate's panicked worrying that he may have killed Todd/Obsidian.
  Amaya: Why are you whispering?
  Nate: (still whispering) In case he's not dead, he could probably use the nap!
  Todd: I'm not an invalid. Just old.
• To vacate the state dinner, Mick brandishes his flamethrower. When the guests only react with confusion, Ray clears them out by politely announcing that there's a bomb.
• When Ray isn't sure he'll be able to defuse the bomb in time, Mick decides to help himself to an eclair, so that he'll die happy. When Ray does defuse it, Mick merely says "Good", and goes back to eating.
• Darhk's reaction to seeing Obsidian's powers? Merely saying "Huh".
• During the fight against Darhk's Ghosts and the KGB mooks, they keep trying to hit Nate with things, but since he's steeled up, it doesn't work. You'd think at least one of them would realize the futility.
  • At one point during the fight, Nate pauses to admire Mary Todd's hope chest. Then a Ghost is tossed on top of it.
  Nate: Oh, now you've gone too far!

Episode 6: Outlaw Country

• Stein tries to explain how the Flash time travels.
  Stein: The energy of the Speed Force grants the speedster chronokinesis, temporal manipulation.
  Rory: English, professor.
  Sara: It means that his running really fast lets him time travel.
  Rory: I’ll be in my room.
• Nate's first time riding a horse. The animal appears to chase its tail before he can retake control of it.
  Nate: Guys, I think my horse is broken!
• It wouldn't be an Old West episode without another Bar Brawl. Sara actually orders Mick to start one.
  • And they actual fail, as Mick and Turnbull bond instead of fighting. Hex is the one to actually start it.
• Gideon assesses Nate's injuries making his chances of survival 51 percent.
  Nate: Would it kill you to say "better than average," Gideon?
• As Nate goes to stop the train with his body:
  Jax: What do you think?
  Ray: I think I liked him.
• Nate adorably psyching himself up as the train bears down on him.
• Turnbull's shocked reaction when Sara loses her hat and bandanna:
  Turnbull: You ain't no man!
• Mick and Amaya's scene when they lit the fuse to blow up the cave:
  Mick: You have one whole minute to get out of here.
  Amaya: You mean we have one minute.
  Mick: That's what I said. [Turnbull's henchmen appear behind them] Should we tell them about the minute?
  Amaya: No.
  Mick: Good, I was hoping you were gonna say that.
• Nate after he SUCCEEDS in stopping the train:
  Nate: Did you see that? Did you see that? Tell me you saw that.
  Jax: Yo, that was badass, dude.
  Ray: Totally badass. You alright?
  Nate: No, but I stopped a train!
  Jax: I think he's good.
  Ray: Whoo!
  Nate: [pumps his fists in the air] I STOPPED A TRAIN!

Episode 7: Invasion!

• See Invasion!

Episode 8: The Chicago Way

• Thawne and Darhk offer their services to Al Capone. He responds by having his goons pull out their tommy guns much to their annoyance.
  Darhk: (exasperated sigh) You or me?
  Thawne: I've got...(effortlessly cleans out Capone's men)...this.
• The response to the above?
  Capone: What do you freaks want?
  Darhk: To help! I thought I ma— (looks at Thawne) Did I not make that perfectly clear?
• Sara having to literally play Team Mom to Ray and Nate who are acting like teenagers in the cargo bay, again. Made funnier by Jax, youngest person on the ship, come in having to play Team Dad.
• Granted, it really isn't meant to be funny, but just the sight of Stein standing there and doing nothing while the cops haul Ness away to drown him (even after Sara said to stop that from happening).
• Mick's opinion of Ray and Nate's efforts in 1927 thus far.
  (After hijacking Capone's booze truck)
  Amaya: Aren't you forgetting something? Nate and Ray?
  Mick Those idiots have done nothing but get in the way.
  (Camera change to reveal Nate and Ray standing right there beside the truck)
  Ray: Uh guys we're...we're standing right here.
• Nate is outraged at Ray blindly trusting one of the most infamously corrupt police forces in history. "Did you or did you not see The Untouchables?"
• After Sara's brief run-through of a speakeasy's rules, Stein orders a "club soda" with a conspicuous wink, thinking it's code for alcohol. The professor gets to feel clever for all of three seconds until the bartender gives him a glass of actual club soda, much to his disgust.
• While Gideon is fixing Ness' brain damage from drowning, Nate asks her why she hasn't fixed Mick's brain. Her response:
  Gideon: (indignant scoff) Who says I haven't?
• As the episode ends we get to see the Legion learning why Eobard had them go for so much trouble to get the amulet.
  Malcolm: It's an amulet in two pieces.
  Eobard: I knew you were more than just a pretty face, Malcolm.
  (Eobard puts both pieces together and a projection of a star map materializes.)
  Malcolm: (voice dripping with sarcasm) Wow, it's a portable planetarium.
  Eobard: (with a look of extreme annoyance) It's a compass.
  Darhk: Compasses generally find things.
• What does the episode end on? A look at 1967 Los Angeles and of Rip Hunter as a primadonna American film director making a movie based on his own time-traveling exploits.

Episode 9: Raiders Of The Lost Art

• The premise alone is golden, but the effects of it as just as good: Without Star Wars or Indiana Jones as inspirations, Ray and Nate spend the entire episode as worthless morons without a semblance of their respective expertise.
  • With their inspirations gone, Nate and Ray have taken different career paths: a heart surgeon and yoga instructor, respectively.
• Mick tells Stein about his hallucinations.
  Mick: Wait! You can fix me! You're a doctor, right?
  Stein: ...of nuclear physics.
• Mick later talks of using a mind probe on himself.
  Mick: I've got an idea.
  Stein: So this is a new milestone for you then.
• The absolutely shameless Star Wars and Indiana Jones references.
  • Malcolm and Darhk use lasers for absolutely no reason.
  • The team gets stuck in a trash compactor and have to brace the sides. It's even possible Malcolm and Darhk invoked it on purpose (it's unclear if their memories were affected or not).
  • The whole episode is about finding part of the Spear of Destiny.
• When Rip tells them that he gave the piece of the Spear to his propmaster George.
  Sara: Oh great. George Lucas has the Spear of Destiny!
• Rip, a.k.a. "Phil Gasmer" freaking out for the majority of an episode. Like when he gets arrested, when he thinks the Legends are kidnapping him, when he drops his "Rip Hunter facade," and when he is about to be tortured.
• While Rip is freaking out on the roof with the others trying to calm him down, we cut to an extremely mundane shot of Merlyn and Darhk standing in the elevator, cheery music and all.
• Sara insists on calling the Spear of Destiny "the Holy Lance."
• This little exchange between Merlyn and George Lucas:
  Darhk: Mr. Lucas. You have something that we have traveled a very long way to find.
  Merlyn: A piece of the Spear of Destiny...WHERE IS IT?
• Darhk threatening George Lucas's life:
  Darhk: I have one question for you, Mr. Lucas, and your life depends on answering me honestly. (Beat) Where's the city dump?
• When Sara and Jax need Mick and Stein, they find Stein about to cut Mick's skull open.
  Sara: What the hell are you doing?
  Stein: Brain surgery, what does it look like?
  [after a beat, Sara and Jax leave]
• Jax attempting to engage Malcolm, a high-ranking member of the League of Assassins in melee combat. Brave. Yes. Stupid? VERY. Cue Curb-Stomp Battle.
• Malcolm making a Wilhelm Scream when Vixen tosses him around.
• Phil pretending to be Rip Hunter, nailing his personality perfectly, before taking out his revolver, only to find out it's a prop.
  Phil: Oh, Crap!.
• Amaya looks over George Lucas' movies for one to watch.
  Amaya: Well, this one sounds cute; it's called Howard the Duck.
  Nate and Ray: NO!

Episode 10: The Legion of Doom

• Thawne states they have a clear advantage over the Legends:
  Darhk: Enlighten me.
  Thawne: (beat with a "Well, duh" expression) They're idiots.
  (Smash Cut)
  Rory: You're all idiots.
• The Legends react to the news of Stein's daughter.
  Mick: What's the big deal? He didn't have a daughter. Now he does. Mazel Tov.
• Merlyn and Darhk spend most of the episode constantly snarking at each other and reminding each other of their failures. Eobard gets exasperated with them.
  Thawne: This is what I get for relying on a wash-out and a dead man.
• Malcolm needing Brain Bleach for Damien putting Rip's tooth in his hand.
• Poor Rip not only gets tortured and belittled by his captors, two of them seem to treat him as a sounding board.
  Darhk [while preparing his knives for torture]: You know, I’ll be honest with you – which I have to admit I don’t have that much practice with – I don’t like this situation. Not one bit. For one thing, Mr. Thawne has this habit of treating me like a henchman.
  • Later:
  Merlyn [striding into a room] : Who’s to say he won’t kill us anyway even after we get him his precious spear? [cuts to Rip nervously putting on a tie and suit] Oh, forget it, why am I asking you?
• Rip is forced to access a bank vault, but is unable to provide a pass code. Malcolm and Damien respectively demands he leaves or stays, and the bank teller could only watch as Rip seemingly goes back and forth between the door and exit.
  • By the time the bank teller says he will call security, Rip perks up and exclaims how good that would be. His optimism vanishes after Damien kills the bank staff and starts threatening him again.
• Even in a dramatic scene of Lilly confronting Stein on her real self, we get humor as Stein tries to explain that "when two younger selves love each other..."
  • Later, Jax finds Martin comforting himself with a cup of tea, and realizes he's spiked it.
  Jax: Is that whiskey?
  Martin: Of course not. It's brandy. What do you take me for, a sailor?
• The one thing that stops two assassins with knives literally at each other's throat from continuing the fight: calling Thawne their boss and stating they're underlings. Or worse, henchmen.
  • Rip compares the situation to The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Damien wonders which one he is.
• As if the torture and threats to his life wasn't enough, Rip as Phil gets no respect. Malcolm shushes him like a child when he tries to protest getting tied up again, Damien is giving him condescending shoulder pats, and just when Rip is able to escape his ropes Eobard speeds in and ties him back up in seconds, complete with crossed arms and menacing glare.
  Thawne: Going somewhere?
  Rip: No!
  [Thawne glares silently]
  Rip: ...Yes. What did you expect me to do? Your partners just left me here all tied up!
  Thawne: Where are they?
  Rip: They…told me…not to tell you.
  [Thawne suddenly zooms right in front of him]
  Rip: The bank, they’re at the bank.

Episode 11: Turncoat

• Mick's take on the Opening Narration:
  Mick: Seriously, you idiots haven't figured this out by now? It all started when we blew up the time pigs — The Time Masters. Now history's all screwed up and it's up to us to unscrew it up, but half the time we screw things up even worse. So don't call us heroes, we're something else. We're legends. (Beat) Who writes this crap, anyway?
• The summary of the mission.
  Stein: Save Washington.
  Jax: And Rory.
  Stein: That was implied.
  [a few minutes later]
  Nate: Cool. Saving a president, a nation, and Christmas.
  Amaya: And Rory too.
  Nate: That was implied.
• Amaya never saw The Wizard of Oz because of World War II. When Nate finds out he comments "Hitler ruins everything".
• Mick isn't initially a fan of Washington.
  Mick: If Washington's so cool, why is he on the one dollar bill and Franklin is on the hundred? Now he's cool.
• Mick bonding with George Washington, who says that Mick represents the best of what the new nation will be (Nate and Amaya can only roll their eyes at that). Later, Gideon reveals that in the new Close-Enough Timeline, there's now a statue of Mick in DC.
• Rory tries to give Washington some pointers on the criminal justice system before Nate and Amaya stop him.
• When Jax tries to get through to Rip by reminding him that he's "Captain Rip Hunter", he receives this gem of a snarky response.
  Rip: The man who recruited a bunch of reject superheroes to *not* save his family?
• It's kind of dark given what he'd just done to Sara, but when Rip goes to retrieve the piece of the Spear hidden inside his telescope, he does so very hesitantly and even flinches a little as he pulls it apart, no doubt expecting Jax to have booby-trapped it the way he did the floor.
• While Sara is trying to talk Jax out of shooting Rip, Rip is just standing there bored, and absently scratches his head with the unspeakably valuable Spear fragment.

Episode 12: Camelot/ 3000

• Black Comedy, sure, but: The Teaser to the episode sees Evil!Rip stop by where Dr. Midnite is holed up for his piece of the Spear, because the Time Masters said the fragments will be safer at the Vanishing Point. After Midnite reminds him that he said the Time Masters couldn't be trusted, Evil!Rip responds thusly:
  Evil!Rip: ...did I? Bollocks. So I did. (sigh) I suppose we're going to have to do this the hard way, then. (shoots Dr. Midnite)
• Nate, who prides himself on his knowledge of history, spends the entire episode in either bafflement or denial that Camelot actually exists.
  • Nate makes a big point to the gang that medieval times are not like the movies and insists they all dress as historical research had people then. Everyone else dresses (in Nate's words) "like you're going to a Renaissance Fair". Meanwhile, he insists he is wearing what is appropriate to the times, and is indignant that he's not dressed like a leper. When Guinevere looks at him, she thinks he's a leper.
• Stein's denial that he stole something from the future—he only borrowed it/found it—and Mick's amusement of the same.
• Stein's modesty:
  Jax: So all we need to do is somehow boost the brain power of whoever's wearing this.
  Stein: Or find someone with a preternaturally powerful brain.
  [Beat]
  Jax: You mean...you.
  Stein: Fine, if you insist.
  • Followed by:
    Stein: Now all we need (looks over at Mick drinking a beer) is a test subject.
    Jax: (grinning) Someone who's mind is...pliable.
    Mick: (belching) What?
• When told that he will get to control the 'evil army', Mick responds with this gem:
  Mick: (evil eager grin) Looks like its time to fulfill my destiny!
  Stein: God help us...
• When Sara finds out that Star Girl is in love with Arthur, she gives a massive eye-roll and sits down, giving up on the conversation entirely.
  Sara: Your fake kingdom is a real soap opera.
• Ray puts on his knight armor over his ATOM suit and ionizes his sword to make it more powerful because of course he did.
  Knight: It's like a saber...made of light!
  Ray: Yep! Just don't call it a lightsaber, though. Trademark issues.
• Mick: "Admit it: My brain saved the day."
• Sara snapping at some children to be quiet.
• When Sara realizes she's Sir Lancelot, she almost kisses Guinevere before Ray interrupts. He then encourages her to go back and finish the job.
  Ray: You know...every good legend ends with a kiss.

Episode 13: Land of the Lost

• After getting locked down, nearly being blown up and violently crashing into the Cretaceous Period, a livid Stein appears with his own theory of what happened:
  Stein: How many times must I tell you people? Mick Rory is not to pilot this ship!
• The fact that Ray named his Cretaceous Period rival, a Mama Bear tyrannosaurus rex, Gertrude.
• Jax and Sara realize there will be doppelgängers of the rest of the team in Rip's mind after defeating Evil Sara.
  Jax: If that's right then...
  Sara: Then there's more than just Bizarro Me on this ship.
  Jax: Like Evil Ray, Evil Stein.
  Sara: Evil Mick. I guess that's just Regular Mick, but still...
• Sara's first thoughts on meeting a physical representation of Gideon?
  Sara: But you're like...I mean, you're really...
  Gideon: Human?
  Sara: I was going to say hot, but yeah, that too.
• At the end, Nate decides he should probably break it off with Amaya to preserve history through her granddaughter Mari...but given she just not-so-subtly invited him to her room for sex, he'll start tomorrow.
• A minor one that verges on sad, but the look on Amaya's face when Ray admits he ate one of Gertrude's eggs is hilarious.

Episode 14: Moonshot

• After Commander Steel punches out Rip, he explains to the visiting press that Rip was a reporter who didn't have the right credentials. All of the reporters quickly hold up their own credentials in response.
• The Legends in space need a distraction so mission control doesn't catch on. Stein's distraction? An offkey rendition of Harry Belafonte's "Banana Boat Song". AKA, the "DAY-O!" song. Poor Mick even gets roped into it. And so did a few others at mission control.
  • On the Waverider, Sara and Rip share absolutely priceless "WTF?!" faces.
  • The explanation Stein gives to the nonplussed control centre is just as hilarious: "It's a British Tradition, sir!"
  • The story of Apollo 13 will now presumably be that something happened that caused the crew to black out and the LEM to jettison, but no one knows what it was because everyone in Mission Control was busy staring at the weird singing guy.
  • And then they replay the scene during the credits!
  • And then "Professor Stein" would later show up in a musical.
• When Ray retrieves the piece of the Spear, awesome, uplifting music (Specifically Also sprach Zarathustra) is playing as he radios back to the team.
  Ray: Waverider Crew, we are now the proud owners of the last fragment of the Spear of Destiny.
  Sara: Copy.
  [beat]
  Ray: "Copy?" That's all I get is a copy? Guys, I'm standing on the friggin' Moon!
• When Ray is stuck on the moon, he starts recording a somber Video Will, only to be interrupted by Thawne, still tied up in the background, asking him what the hell he's doing.
  • Of course, the Video Will is made less somber by the fact that it's blatantly plagiarized from The Martian (with the video glitching to censor it when Ray says that he's going to "science the s*** out of this"), and we know it's totally intentional on Ray's part because he had just said that now he knows how Matt Damon felt.

Episode 15: Fellowship of the Spear

• The constant The Lord of the Rings references—from the blatant (Nate insisting on referring to the team as a fellowship) to the subtle (the whole episode is the first LotR book, compressed into an hour).
• Firestorm transmutes the Legion's vault into jellybeans (but not jelly babies). Rip eats one.
• Thawne is utterly gobsmacked when the Legends invade his base.
  Thawne: This isn't possible—they're not smart enough for this.
• Mick mentions that the last piece of the spear is handy for getting to those "hard to reach places."
  Stein: Please tell me you haven't been using the Spear of Destiny as a back scratcher.
  Mick: Who said anything about my back?
  [Sara drops the piece]
  Stein: As Mister Rory has demonstrated, in the wrong hands the Spear can be put to truly horrific uses.
  • When Mick gets tempted by the Spear and thinks of using it, Martin stops him and immediately assumes he's going to use it as a back scratcher again.
  • Harsher in Hindsight after Mick betrays the team.
• Ray shrinks down and flies into a cannon, preventing it from firing and making it move on its own. He then gives off a highpitched giggle, making two frightened German soldiers think he's a poltergeist.

Episode 16: Doomworld

• Black Comedy at its finest: the Guest Star credit for Emily Brett Rickards pops up after Felicity dies.
  • YMMV, but similarly: Felicity dies.
• Mick is slightly bummed when, during a bank robbery with Snart, once the cops show up, they immediately let them go.
• We first see Rip in the Wavrider, bearded and crazy-eyed, painstakingly making the perfect cake.
• Even with his memories gone, Nate manages to realize that something is wrong with the world...so he goes to Eobard Thawne for help.
  Thawne: You know what, I think you might be onto something. [to Snart] Take him outside, get him some fresh air. And kill him.
  Nate: Wait, me? Kill me?
• When we see Ray in his house, he's essentially playing "Ray Palmer: The Game": a FPS (with the player character seemingly in the ATOM suit) using dwarf star energy to kill Dominators.
• The Running Gag in which anyone gets their memories back, they immediately punch Mick.
  Nate: (punches Mick) You son of a bitch!
  Mick: (unfazed) It works.
  • And then Ray punches him too.
  Mick: (annoyed) I deserved that.
  • And then Sara...
  Mick: One more person hits me, I'm gonna punch back!
• When Amaya and Sara arrive to kill them...
  Ray I don't like the way they're looking at us.
  Mick: I like the way they're looking at us.
• Nate tries to convince Amaya and Sara that they're all superheroes by steeling up. It fails.
  Mick: Knock it off you idiot! They used the spear to take away your powers!
• Nate is living out of his mother's basement. And insisting that it's his basement.
• Gideon snaps Rip out of his alcohol/cake fugue and convinces him to try to reroute communications to boost his distress call.
  Rip: You're absolutely right! First: I am going to vomit. Second: let's do this.
• When Darhk is about to kill Sara, he starts gloating about how he got his magic back and is invincible. No one else is impressed.
  Snart: Really? Now's the time for a bad guy monologue?
  [Sara escapes with Amaya]
  Snart: Damien, what did I tell you?
  Merlyn: For what it's worth, I thought it was a very good bad guy monologue.
  • Fans of The Flash could see this as either Hypocritical Humor or Snart learning from experience. After all, this version was taken out of time only months after nearly killing the Flash in his debut episode, but essentially lost due to taking the time to monologue.
• Mick, of all people, recognizes Aramaic.
  Jax: How do you even know what Aramaic sounds like?
  Mick: The Passion of the Christ. Good movie.
  • Made even better when Jax shrugs in agreement.
• When the Legends are reassembled, Thawne is more annoyed than threatened.
  Thawne: I should have wiped you from existence when I had the chance. Do you have any idea how infuriating it is to know that Merlyn was right?
• The Running Gag about the high quality of Nate's mother's sandwiches.
  Jax: There's just one thing I don't understand. If Thawne made this world to punish us...then how are your mom's sandwiches so good?
• The Legends, Thawne and the rest of the Legion of Doom have a Mêlée à Trois over the Spear of Destiny. Nate gets his hands on the spear and knocks Thawne across the room with it, after which he and Damien Darhk to almost high five, before Darhk promptly remembers he's the bad guy, backhands him unconscious and takes the Spear. Then he is brained by Ray with a microscope who throws the Spear to Sara only for her to fight over it with Malcolm.
  • Just the fact that the immeasurably powerful Spear of Destiny is getting swung around like a glorified club during this fight is hilarious in itself.
• The ending, which reveals what exactly happened to Rip and the Waverider: they've been miniaturized and the ship has been placed on display in S.T.A.R. Labs as a model of a rocket.

Episode 17: Aruba

• Everything having to do with the Mini!Waverider, including the sheer disbelief the Doomworld!Legends have when they first see it, from Mick grabbing it and shaking it around with Rip still inside, to Rip firing the blasters at the still full-sized Damien Darhk. All culminating in them preparing to unminituarize it and "blow the roof off this place"...and then literally blowing the roof off of S.T.A.R. Labs.
  Damien: (chuckling as the Waverider fires on him) That's adorable!
• Past!Rip enters to see Future!Rip and they both groan in unison "oh, bollocks."
• When Past!Ray asks what happens in the future, Future!Rory casually points it out like this:
  Rory: (points to Ray) Dead. (points to Amaya) Dead. (to Stein) Good as dead.
• Future!Thawne runs in to tell the past versions of the Legion of the Legends of the future being there.
  Thawne: I'm from the future.
  Damien: So what else is new?
  Thawne: (putting head in hands) I'm from your future! We used the Spear but then lost it. I've come back and the Legends are here as well.
  Malcom: Wait, there are two sets of Legends now?
  Snart: When do I get to rob a bank?
  Thawne: (in a tone that just screams Surrounded by Idiots) Just deal with them!
  • Thawne runs out, causing Damien to spit out his drink and mutter "I hate when he does that."
• When Ray finds his ATOM suit, he kisses it and starts promising it that he'll never leave it again. Jax is visibly disturbed.
• When Rory saves Ray (after Doomworld!Rory is killed), Ray squeals with delight.
  Rory: You hug me, I'll kill you.
  Ray: Okay, later, we can do it later.
• While it's a Tear Jerker, what's Nate's last words to himself?
  Nate: Don't be a douche.
• The final line of the episode, with the accompanying Wham Shot:
  Sara: Guys, I think we broke time.

Season 3

Episode 1: Aruba-Con

• Sara Lance, former assassin, working retail. Not to mention her Imagine Spot of murdering her supervisor.
• When Ray's boss boasts that "if it doesn't live in a phone, it's not the future," Ray dryly points out he's been to the future three times.
• Nate having to look up the contact info on his phone to remember the name of the woman he's talking to, that he's also dating.
• Turns out Rory made it to Aruba after all.
• Rory's reaction to meeting Julius Caesar:
  Rory: Your salad sucks!
• The first encounter with Agent Sharpe has the Legends taking the piss out of Time Bureau fashion choices.
  Ray: [to Agent Sharpe] Lady, why are you so mean?
  Sara: Maybe it's that poly-blend pantsuit that's got her so grumpy.
  Nate: I didn't know Men's Warehouse gave group discounts.
  Agent Sharpe: What's the matter with you people? Do you want to get shot?
  Nate: Totally rather get shot than look like a Sears model.
• While Rip is showing Sara, Ray and Nate around the offices of the Time Bureau, Sara spots a time-displaced King Arthur about to be returned home. While Rip acknowledges that the Legends know King Arthur, Sara hilariously tries to hide her face and avoids making eye contact with him, because while she knows King Arthur quite well, she knows his wife Guinevere even better.
• When the others decide to steal back the Waverider, they are tripped up when its discovered that a class is being held in it. Right as Ray is in the middle of wondering what to do, Rory just straight up walks in and forces them out with his gun.
  • Earlier, they find the crew in a simulation of stopping a meteor shower with the "captain" suggesting they put the ship in the path of the beam. Behind them, Sara smiles and gives a "there you go" wave as she did that herself...at which point, the class burst out laughing with their leader remarking "only a complete idiot would do that!" Sara's face falls.
• So how do you distract a bunch of semi-drunk fratboys on spring break? Send them a message on a dating app that there's a hot exotic woman looking to have sex with a college stud.
  • Mick's phone has the same app. And when the message appears with Gideon supplying the image (of her human avatar), he saves it.
• Nate and Ray hijacking Dr. Stein's quote.
  Dr. Stein: As the great conqueror himself said, "We came, we saw—"
  Nate & Ray: We kicked Caesar's ass! (high-five)
• Mick casually pick-pocketing Rip just before he exits the Waverider.
• After the team realise Julius Caesar walked off with a history textbook, Stein suggests simply contacting the Time Bureau and letting them handle it.
  Nate: No, no no no, we do not let those time turds have the satisfaction of knowing that we-
  Ray: That you lost the book?
  Nate: Stop blaming me, okay? Caesar must have swiped it when I wasn't looking.
  Sara: Nate's right.
  Nate: Thank you.
  Sara: Not about it not being your fault. About the Time Bureau.

Episode 2: Freakshow

• When it's revealed that there's an anachronism involving the Titanic, Stein loudly proclaims his hatred of the ship, stating that the designer should be shot.
• Sara's attempts to inspire need work.
  Sara: Take Rory and go. I have faith in you.
  Stein: Why?
  Sara: [beat] Just go.
• Agent Sharpe tries to arrest Sara, leading to a knock-down, dragged-out fight. Which leads to a Double Knockout. And then they decide to take a break and get a drink of water.
• After Sara informs the others that there's an oncoming threat that even the Time Bureau is afraid of, there's a moment of silence...before everyone laughs their asses off.
• Ray names the pilfered saber-toothed tiger Mr. Sneezeums.
• Barnum trying to get Nate to activate his meta-power.
  P.T. Barnum: Become the "Man of Steel"...that is very catchy, make a note of that.
• When Nate can't steel up (probably due to his hangover), he says "I must be dehydrated man, this never happened to me before, I swear." Amaya, without missing so much as a beat, asks "Where have I heard that one before?". Nate immediately tries to convince Jax and Ray that "Not from me, she never heard that from me".

Episode 3: Zari

• As Nate (mid-bacon eating) is trying to talk to Stein about his lingering issues with Amaya, Stein discovers that she is on the ceiling, sleepwalking as a spider. And Nate promptly ignores Stein's advice and wakes her up, causing her to fall.
  • The implication with this whole scene is that Amaya was there for a while, and it took until now for someone to look up.
• Ray trying to blend in the Bad Guy Bar wearing a fake goatie, a backwards cap and an eyepatch.
  Sara: Too much Ray, too much.
• Nate brews a hallucinogenic tea to help Amaya with her totem problem. He subsequently gets high as holy Hell, and spends most of the episode that way.
  Sara: Are you high?
  Nate: Give me your face...[reaches for Sara's face]
  • Jax has to direct Nate away from Sara who looks like she's about to kill Nate.
  • When Sara tells him to bring the Waverider, he has a difficult (for him) time getting into the captain's chair, and channels a bit of Scotty as he tries getting the Waverider to go...only for Gideon to pipe in, saying the ship isn't moving.
  Nate: Then why does it feel like my face is peeling off?
  Jax: Yo, you high or somethin', man?
  Nate: Youhavenoidea!
  • "I really like this show", followed by Stein's Aside Glance.
  • Right as Sara is about to get them killed in a game of Chicken with Agent Sharpe, Stein tries to get Nate's input. All he can (aggressively) say is that he likes broccoli. Even better, he copies Stein's cadence and hand gesture when he does so.
• Zari is less than impressed by the team.
  Zari: You saved the world?
  Ray: Twice!
  Zari: Then why does it still suck?
• Mick is downright bummed he didn't get to shoot anyone on this trip (at least until Sara gave him the okay in the prison).
• After Agent Sharpe threatens to exile the Legends to the dawn of time if they don't stop interfering, Gideon comments "What a bitch."
  • Just before that, when Gideon states she thinks they've escaped the Time Bureau ship only to receive a message from Sharpe.
  Gideon: Oh, bollocks.

Episode 4: Phone Home

• Turns out the Waverider, super-advanced time-travelling ship of awesomeness...has only one bathroom.
• Ray wants to do "Two Truths and a Lie."
  Ray: This is gonna be fun.
  Mick: Lie.
  Ray: I haven't started yet. Look, I know you guys probably think this is lame...
  Sara: Truth.
• Zari proving the Legends aren't that complicated to figure out.
  Zari: I already have you all figured out. The old guy wants to be anywhere but on this ship, these two (Nate and Amaya) have some will-they-won't-they thing going on, Rory's been drunk since breakfast, Jax is wondering if I'm single, and your ship's still mad at me for doing a teeny hack on her subsystems. Now what's this about only one bathroom?
  • Jax face when Zari gets to him is priceless.
• Ray trying to get the team to bond. To demonstrate, he gets Mick to perform a trust fall...and vanishes from existence as he falls back.
  Nate: Wait, Ray's dead?
  Mick: (rubbing head) He better be...
  • Minor, but when the team touchdown in October 30th, 1988 (the day before Ray gets killed), Ray pops back into existence, still waiting to catch Mick.
• Zari experiencing the fun side-effects of her first big time travel. In her case, she suddenly finds herself speaking French.
• As the team is changing into 1988-appropriate clothing, Ray ecstatically talks about all the spots from his home town that he can't wait to show them. The reason why they are in 1988 to begin with is to prevent his younger self from getting killed the next day.
• Zari showing off a 1988 dress with sweater tied around her neck.
  Jax: You look like you're being strangled by a Muppet.
• Mick dressed like a cop.
• Ray's concern over his younger self stealing a slew of chocolate bars is less the crime and more the calories.
  • Mick just talks about being "proud" of Ray as a thief.
• Mick being amused by Little Ray stealing candy and refusing to stop him on Adult Ray's behalf.
  Mick: I'm not a rat.
• While it is a tense reveal, there's Ray's barely constained shock upon seeing "Gumball" for the first time.
  Ray: Guys? I think I know what kills me...
• Adult Ray setting foot in his old home again and being worried about wearing shoes on the carpet.
• Ray seeing two older kids messing with his stuff, talking about "they're friends." Seeing them toss his bag back and forth and run off laughing, it's clearly the first time Ray realizes the duo happened to be bullying him.
• Nate gets his first look at Ray's mother from afar, and comments "You never mentioned your mom was hot." Cue an incredulous look from Amaya, who's sitting next to him.
  • When the two actually approach Mrs. Palmer, disguised as Animal Control officers, the first thing out of his mouth is "Is there a...cougar on the premises?"
• Little Ray and his loves of musicals, specifically Singin' in the Rain. Though the kicker is Mick's input.
  Mick: Not as good as Fiddler on the Roof. I love that show.
  Beat
  Mick: What?
• Ray and the baby alien are bowing their heads back and forth to the music. Cut to adult Ray doing the same.
• Nate calling the Dominator queen a Mommynator.
• The intended plan of dealing with the Dominator queen (luring it into the Waverider) backfires when Sara discovers that Jax, Mick and Stein took it. How does she learn this? The apology note left behind.
• In a rather cathartic scene, we revisit the opening of the episode (the Men in Black about to shoot 1988!Ray), only for Ray to blast the Men in Black with the ATOM suit and then kick their asses.
• Gumball mind-controls the agents into performing "Good Morning" from Singin' in the Rain everyone watched earlier. Ray wants to keep watching a little longer.
  • The agents' priceless "what the hell are we doing?" faces are what really sell it.
• The team and Little Ray bidding a sad farewell to Gumball.
  Nate: I'm not crying. I just have alien goo in my eye.
  Sara: Me too...
  • ...followed by Nate deciding he has to go clean his mouth forever (having made out with the Dominator queen).
  • Even better: Ray wants to know why. Keep in mind: the Dominator queen was disguised as Ray's mom.
• The gang go out in full costume with Young!Ray for Halloween. This includes Zari in her Isis costume.
  Zari: I can't believe I let you talk me into this. How do you fight in these things?
  • Mick, of course, lights up his flamethrower and demands the bullies hand over all their candy. And their allowance.
• Zari asks if all the team's missions go this badly. Ray starts to protest then admits they do.

Episode 5: Return of the Mack

• Jax on his psychic link with Stein.
  Jax: Last time I got laid Grey said to me, "Well done, Jefferson."
• Mick's very blunt assessment on Victorian London:
  "Syphilis, whores, and vampires."
• Mick is excited at the prospect of hunting vampires, revealing he's got a stake ready.
  Jax: You just carry that around with you?
  Mick: All my life.
  • Mick being more concerned with finishing reading Dracula than the missiles about to hit the Waverider.
• The Running Gag of Jax suffering short-term memory loss from Ray's experiment and Ray trying to cover for it.
• Nate's ridiculous attempt at a British accent. Sara doesn't even bother, simply saying she's from the NYPD.
• Seeing the body, Mick just goes ahead and stakes it to the shock of everyone.
• Without warning, "Return of the Mack " by Mark Morrison plays and Sara wants to know who brought their phone. It turns out to be a Palmer Tech watch stolen from a corpse by the corrupt medical examiner.
• Amaya comes across Zari on her knees in her room and thinks she's praying.
  Zari: Mecca is that way. I'm just looking for my earring.
• The Legends nicely sum up Rip needing their help instead of the Time Bereau.
  Nate: So what you're saying is...your hot new girlfriend dumped you and you're crawling back to your ex.
  Mick: And I'm no one's sidepiece.
• When Sara, Mick, and Rip suggest using Nate as vampire bait, Nate wonders if it's because he's handsome.
  Mick: Pretty.
  Nate: Pretty handsome.
• Nate claims vampires and Mick have a lot in common.
  Nate: You both like to sleep in. And, you know, kill people.
• Zari, a woman who grew up in a dystopian police state, where she was always on the run and only had meager food to eat, has a...unique take on Victorian London:
  Zari: Can't believe we're in a time where women can't vote and the Internet's not a thing. Savages.
• As they're investigating the empty grave, Mick grabs Nate's arm and scares the shit out of him. Then Rip pops out of the grave, terrifying the entire team.
• Rip argues that they have to let the ceremony go ahead to bring in Mallus.
  Nate: If Sara says, "Kill Darhk," or "Re-kill Darhk," or "Prop him up in a convertible like Weekend at Bernie's," that's what we do, because she's the captain.
  • Sara asks to talk to Rip in private. Mick smirks while Nate gives him a "good luck" clasp on the shoulder.
• Stein sees Ray putting up the formula for the Firestorm matrix. Ray tries to pass it off as him playing Hangman. Jax backs him up.
  Jax: Uh, "Q!"
• While still tied up, Nate sings Return of the Mack, then complaining when he's rescued because he wanted a sexy vampire, not a weirdo doctor.
• What is Damien Darhk's biggest concern upon being resurrected?
  Darhk: Who stole my watch?
  • He must not like the answer, because the next thing we see is Damien Darhk killing everyone while dancing to "Return of the Mack" by Mark Morrison and casually having a drink.
• Rip is the one to find the first body of the episode and pores over it for clues. Between his mannerisms, his wardrobe and Arthur Davrill's finely chiseled features, the whole thing becomes a blatant rip-off of Sherlock Holmes.

Episode 6: Helen Hunt

• Helen walking through the Hollywood lot, oblivious to how men are running into walls, falling off ladders and more staring at her.
• Nate is telling Sara he can't find more information. Sara wants to know what the smell is and Nate admits he hasn't showered...in seven days.
• Jefferson and Stein having a "Freaky Friday" Flip. Leaving Stein snarking like a teenager, and Jefferson talking like a stuck-up professor; you can tell both actors were having a ball hamming it up as they mimicked each other.
  Stein: I appear to be...African-American.
  Jax: You can just say "black", Grey.
• Nate and Sara's WTF expressions realizing what's happening are priceless.
  Sara: Must be Tuesday.
• Jax is looking forward to meeting some classic movie stars.
  Stein: And how would you know who they are? The oldest movie you've watched is some ridiculous farce called Police Academy.
  Jax: Don't knock the Academy, Grey.
• Stein (in Jax's body) goes on a massive rant over how Helen is ruining classic Hollywood stealing roles from real actresses, including his beloved Hedy Lamarr.
  Nate: Sorry, still adjusting.
• Jax is complaining about how tired he feels in Stein's body. He then looks at "himself" in a suit and remarks "Damn, I look hot!"
• The ladies are mingling at a party with Zari wrestling with her own outfit and asking if they can murder the inventor of stockings.
• Stein/Jax and Mick are posing as waiters...with Mick eating from the tray he's holding.
• Sara's annoyance as Mick, Ray and Nate all ogle Helen.
• Faced with the opportunity to meet legendary beauties Helen of Troy and Hedy Lamarr, Mick displays his usual tact:
  Mick: Depends. How hot is she?
  Mick: I'd do her.
  • The latter line is even used in a trailer for Season 3 that made it seem like he was saying that about Helen rather than Hedy.
• Sara finding Damien at the party.
  Sara: What are you doing here?
  Damien: Besides collecting my 15 percent?
  Sara: You're her agent?
  Damien: You have to admit, I have the killer instinct needed for the job.
• Zari asks if Sara's "Trojan Horse" plan will work.
  Sara: Have men gotten smarter in the past few thousand years?
  Zari: Nope.
• Clarissa Stein thought that her marriage to Martin needed to be "spiced" up so she decided they each needed a freebie. She chose Jean-Claude Van Damme, Martin chose Hedy Lamarr. Then he got to meet her, and got very hot under the collar when he sees her.
• Darhk has Stein in Jax's body and Hedy at his mercy. Then he discovers the body swap. He proceeds to laugh hysterically, allowing them to escape.
  Nora: Do you need a moment?
  Darhk: No, no I'm good. (cheerfully) Let's go kill them!
  • Nate did the exact same thing when he found out.

Episode 7: Welcome to the Jungle

• Zari defends not sending Helen back to her own time.
  Zari: That's what the Time Bureau does. We do it different.
  Nate: We do it different...ly.
  Ray: Yeah, more messy.
• Mick notes his father is somewhere in the War and Nate points out the odds of them running into him are nearly impossible. He says "we do, I'll buy you a six-pack." Less than a minute later, they're surrounded by Marines and a hard-bitten leader. Mick's reaction: "You owe me a six-pack."
• Nate introduces Mick to the latter's dad as "Officer Schwarzenegger."
• Jax gets mad that somebody took the pie his mom made for him and asks Gideon who the culprit is. Cut to Dr. Stein, who has taken geniuses from throughout history to help him solve the problem of separating himself from Firestorm, and Marie Curie is seen eating the pie.
• Stein is less than impressed by the lack of participation on the part of one of the aforementioned geniuses.
  Stein: Any thoughts, Sir Isaac Newton? Or do I have to throw an apple at your head?
• Zari and Ray fix the anti-jamming device.
  Zari: You're a genius.
  Ray: Thanks.
  Zari: Wasn't talking to you.
• This summary of the Vietnam War said by Damien Darhk to Grodd.
  Darhk: Crappy war. Bitchin music.
• After Jax helps save President Johnson and gets a pecan pie recipe instead of a medal, Zari gives us this gem:
  Zari: (As she is stuffing her face) Pie is way better then a medal, because you can eat it.
• To paraphrase certain YouTubers, the sheer insanity that is this show can be good for a laugh. One part of the episode deals with Mick Rory's intensely emotional relationship with his father...and then Sara, who is being mind-controlled by a hyper-intelligent telepathic gorilla on board a time-ship, gets knocked out by Sir Isaac Newton with a frying pan. Don't think about it, indeed.

Episode 8: Crisis on Earth-X, Part 4

See Crisis on Earth-X

Episode 9: Beebo The God of War

• The Arrow theme playing dramatically over 1992!Stein firing a toy bow and arrow.
• 1992!Stein fleeing from other customers, whom he calls "barbarians," after he gets hold of the last remaining Beebo.
  • And him getting teleported to the past, where he ends up fleeing from Vikings, nervously calling them "barbarians" as well.
• Snart-X is trying to play counselor for the Legends dealing with Stein's loss...by having them talk to a hand puppet made up to look like Stein. Words cannot do justice to the sight◊.
  Amaya: I think that everyone copes in their own ways...this way? This is wrong.
  • Ray asks him extremely complicated questions only Stein himself would know the answer to.
  • Nate chastises him on not sounding right and tries to give him tips.
  Snart: This is therapy, not acting class.
  Nate: (claps hands) Yes! That’s exactly the same level of frustration from Doctor Stein. Now, just...do it with the puppet.
  • Mick repeatedly punches the puppet in the face.
  Snart: My goodness! You're really working out some rage issues with, uh, Professor Stein.
  Mick: Nah. I just hate puppets.
• Ray suggests that the team dress up like Norse Gods, only for Sara to shoot down the idea. Later in the episode, Darhk and Nora show up disguised as Odin and Valkyrie and sway the Vikings.
• The very notion of Vikings worshiping a cute, cuddly blue stuffed animal is hysterical.
• Leo trying to get Mick to go off booze for at least a couple of days.
  Mick: Couple of days? 42 hours...
  Leo: 48.
• Mick ends up stealing a flask from Beebo's chamber and gets caught by Leif's sister.
  Freydis: You dare steal from the Blue God?
  Mick: He's not gonna drink it!
• The Vikings interpret one of Beebo's sayings to burn Mick alive. The "I cannot believe this" shake of the head Mick gives is priceless.
• Nate and Amaya attempt to steal Beebo, only for the toy to speak. Turns out he was so cuddly that Amaya couldn't help but squeeze him.
• Agent Sharpe goes undercover with the Legends. How uncomfortable she looks says it all.
• Ray impersonates Beebo but takes the time to try and convince the Vikings that science, evolution, and global warming are real.
• Poor Agent Sharpe is the indicator of whether or not the anachronism has been fixed. How do they know that? Her completely serious words to Sara about "Beebo Day". She gets really far into it before it clicks that that's not the name for Christmas.
  Sharpe: Never felt right...
• Sharpe and Sara unite to outdrink Vikings to get info. When they say "two out of three," the two just sigh and go back to drinking.
• When Sharpe's name shows up on the screen, calling Sara, Nate and Ray immediately leave the room before Sara can answer. It's particularly funny given the growing levels of underlying Belligerent Sexual Tension between Sara and Sharpe.

Episode 10: Daddy Darhkest

• Snart walks in as Sara finishes a call with Sharpe and notes all the signs that Sharpe has a crush on her and was just calling to talk to her. Sara protests it's not true and they're completely different types of people.
  Snart: I don't know...you're both strong women, you're both obsessed with repairing time. You're both super hot...
  Sara gives him a questioning look.
  Snart: Gay. Not blind.
• Mick initially mistakes John Constantine for Rip. When he's informed that they're different people:
  Mick: Skinny Brit in a trenchcoat. Same thing.
• John listing his various credentials and finishing with "I'm also a Taurus if you're taking notes" while throwing a wink at Snart. Snart actually smiles as Mick gives a baffled look at each of them.
• Ray warns the gang inside the asylum.
  Ray: You're in an asylum with a demon. A two-fer of terror.
• Sara tries to get Emily away from the orderlies. She starts to say, "I'm Doctor..." and we expect another lame pop culture reference...and instead she just goes "yeah, I'm not doing this" and knocks them out.
• Finding themselves in 1969, Constantine sees some nurses lighting up cigarettes and tries to get his own going. Seeing Sara's look, he shrugs "don't want to stand out." Then he can't light it.
• Nate and Amaya argue over Kuasa.
  Amaya: I refuse to accept my grand-daughter is pure evil.
  Nate: Fine, she's eighty-nine percent evil.
• Pretty much everything surrounding Mick watching a football game.
  • Zari points out he can just ask Gideon who will win and proceeds to do so. He barks that it's the first live game he's seen in three years.
  • Mick finally has enough of the gang bickering in the room where he's watching tv.
  Mick: Quiet! Haircut, take the New Girl, find Blondie, Fake Snart and Trenchcoat. Amaya, the medbay. Pretty, the library. Water Bitch stays in the freezer!
  Ray: You know, Mick, you're really showing management potential...
  Mick: Get Out!.
  • Holding off the possessed Nora, Ray and Zari call Mick for backup. He only yells "push 'em back!" and "Defense!" at the game, not listening to a word they say.
  • Nate joins Mick and starts watching the game, only to almost choke on his beer when Mick casually mentions that Amaya is talking to her "granddaughtercicle" - the exact opposite of what she was told to do earlier. Mick, naturally, doesn't care as long as the team isn't annoying him.
  • Snart saying goodbye to Mick with a heartfelt hug...all while Mick is still watching the game.
• Constantine and Sara bicker while saving Snart.
  Sara: You said I was strong enough.
  Constantine: Well, I was trying to seduce you.
  Sara: Oh, please, I was seducing you.
  Snart: I hope no one was seducing anyone when I was about to be lobotomized!
  Constantine: This is why I like to work alone!
• When Ray and Zari, while looking for Sara, Snart and Constantine, find the Time Travel magic sigil in the asylum and inform Nate about it, Ray tries, and fails, to describe the sigil to Nate. Zari reminds them both they're in the 21th century, and promptly takes out her phone, snaps a photo, and sends it to Nate, even calling the two of them a bunch of luddites.
• Sara thanks Constantine for his "help with Mallus" and Constantine talks about as an obvious euphemism and "any time you want to more help with a demon," to call him. As he nods, Sara smiles and says, "thanks for the shag too."
• The nod to the 'verse's recent subversion of the One-Steve Limit, as Mick is quite surprised at Snart saying he's going to propose to "Ray."
  Snart: Not your Ray, my Ray.
• Continuing a Running Gag from his own series, Constantine's difficulty in getting a light may be a reference to NBC's restrictions on depicting Constantine's iconic habit.

Episode 11: Here I Go Again

• The mission the rest of the team was on while Zari hung back? Preventing Napoleon from recording Waterloo.
  • When Zari is about to be engulfed by the explosion a second time, she reacts accordingly:
    Zari: Mamma mia. Here I go again.
  • Throughout almost the entire episode, even the serious parts, Sara, Ray, Nate and Amaya are still in their disco outfits. And Ray always trips on his platform shoes every loop.
• Right before the loop starts up again, Nate gives Zari one last bit of advice: find him immediately, and say "Groundhog Day". Next loop, she finds him...and because she misheard him, says Hedgehog Day.
  • Later on, when explaining to Ray about the time loop, he likens it to "Cause and Effect", much to Nate's annoyance.
• Mick hates "Waterloo" so much that he flashes himself with the memory eraser to forget it...prompting him to unknowingly take his laundry back to the laundry room to dry them.
• As it turns out, Nata and Amaya have been having sex and using the memory eraser to forget about it. One loop ends with Zari unintentionally hearing them and trying not to vomit, prompting her to basically say aloud to the Waverider "Kill me now." with a sarcastic tone. Cue explosion.
  • Even funnier - not only does she hear them have sex, but she hears them steeling up and using the totem during sex.
• In Mick's room, he has set up multiple traps: a bear trap, an electrified chest, and some dye packs. Why? To protect his typewriter, which he is using to pen a 1000 page sci-fi romance novel (although based on the excerpts we hear, it's clearly erotica, instead of romance).
  • And apparently it's pretty good, according to Zari.
  • When they initially get their hands on it, they guess it's his criminal manifesto, but then they start reading it..."This says 'bosom' way too many times to be a manifesto."
• One loop ends with shrunk Ray and Zari spying on Sara talking to Ava in the jump ship...and ultimately getting crushed when she mistakes them for a fly.
• After Nate advises Zari to just have fun for a little as long as she is stuck in the loop, we get a montage of Zari doing various things like throwing snow balls at Mick, catching Ray when he falls down, trying on Kendra's old costume and more.
• In a bit of Leaning on the Fourth Wall, at one point during the "happy montage", Zari walks into the laundry room as Ray and Mick are doing laundry, holding up cue cards containing what they are going to say, then discovering Zari, and the ship blowing up (the start of which prompts Zari to unceremoniously drop the cards and leave).
• The sudden appearance of Gary in the trash compactor.
  • As it turns out, Gideon intentionally put Gary in the compactor during the simulation because even she doesn't like him.
• After Zari tries to sacrifice herself and locks herself in the captain's area, Mick immediately exclaims, "My beer's in there!" Also, instead of offering consoling words like everyone else, he just closes his eyes and sticks his fingers in his ears.
• Upon being face-to-face with Gideon's human avatar, right after the bomb was supposed to explode, Zari mentions how mad she will be if it turns out she dreamed this entire episode.

Episode 12: The Curse of the Earth Totem

• Ray's drawings of Mallus and the Totems...which Mick compares to a hemorrhoid.
• Mick tells everyone Sara is going on a date.
  Ray: Did you read her phone?
  Mick: I read everyone's phone. It passes the time.
• Ray shows a taunting note left by Darhk.
  Zari: You know, for a megalomaniac, he has very lovely penmanship.
  Ray: I know, right?
• Wally, drunk, robs Gary of his Time Bureau gear and pantses him. Rip (also drunk) then sends Wally to retrieve a valuable item from the Time Bureau: His coat. He kisses it when Wally gives it to him.
• Mick starts telling the pirates at the bar that a fearsome pirate queen is there as Blackbeard enters.
  Amaya: Why is everyone staring at me?
• Ava, on a date with Sara, chokes on her drink when she sees Gary. When she runs off to deal with that (by telling Sara she's going to the bathroom), Sara sees the Waverider out the window, crashing. The You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me! look on her face is fantastic.
• Rip and Wally getting drunk off their asses in a 1992 Tokyo karaoke bar, while singing "Careless Whisper".
  Wally: Wow. You're a bit of a douche. No offense.
  Rip: None taken.
• Mick is utterly dumbstruck when he sees the fearsome pirate Blackbeard is a coward. It's best compared to a kid suddenly learning the truth about Santa Claus.
  Mick: That's Blackbeard you're talking to and he ain't gonna sing...
  Blackbeard: I buried it on Grace Island. Would you like me to draw you a map? I can't promise to make it to scale but I can do me damndest!
  • The episode in general just seems to hate Blackbeard; part of the episode's climax sees hi. and his crew boarding the Waverider...only to get their asses handed to them by Sara and Ava.
• Zari wants to take the Waverider away while Nate argues about leaving the others behind.
  Ray: I'm sure they're having a whale of a time with Blackbeard!
  (Gilligan Cut to the trio being pulled onto an execution platform where the axeman is waiting)
• Sara and Ava show up and get into a huge fight on the bridge that culminates in The Big Damn Kiss.
  • And they completely fail to see Nate and Ray using Ava's device to go into the past.
  • And also fail to realize Blackbeard and his crew boarding until they're right on top of them.
• The morning after running around time and space drunk, Wally has a horrible hangover...for three minutes.
• Sara and Ava share a drink from a bottle with a pirate captain on it. As Sara puts the bottle down, the label transforms into a likeness of Amaya as "Captain Jiwe."
  • Sara makes it better by saying the team's motto.

Episode 13: No Country for Old Dads

• The gang find Ray's message of help and "as you've no doubt figured out by now, I have been captured by the Darhks." The first thing they agree to do? Never mention to Ray that they had no idea he wasn't even on the ship.
• When Wally and Rip arrive, the former mentions how he met Sara during Barry and Iris' wedding, "and then the Nazi invasion." Rip, not having been around for said invasion, promptly goes "The what?"
• Wally's first interaction with Mick is to super-speed Jerry Garcia's glasses out of his hands, and berate him for stealing them...only for Nate to explain the Legends' "souvenir" clause of taking things, whereupon Wally sheepishly walks back to Mick to return them.
  • After getting Ray back to the Waverider near the end of the episode, he tosses the others the Fire Totem, mentioning how he noticed it was in Darhk's pocket, and deciding it would be a cool souvenir.
• Darhk gets Ray to send a fake message claiming Darhk is taking him to a Grateful Dead concert.
  Darhk: Your idiot friends are going to go to every Dead concert they can find before they realize I don't even like jam bands!
• Darhk asks Nora if she would have a problem with him dating again, after her mother died. She rolls her eyes and says it's been over twenty years from her perspective, so it's fine.
• Wally's first interaction with Zari and Amaya...does not start off good when he calls Amaya "Nate's basic bitch that dumped him on his birthday" (unaware she was Nate's ex). Wally wisely speeds off.
• Darhk and Ray pop up at Ray's old Upswipz workplace. Boss Alan snaps "there's no take-backs at Upswipz!" He then looks at a poster...that has the exact message in their logo.
• Damien has a fun time causing Alan to slam up and down the ceiling while yawning.
• Sara is giving the gang orders to work.
  Sara: Mick...
  Mick: Crush a six pack!
  Sara: You do what you do.
• Darhk trying out the dating app:
  Darhk: I haven't had a single match yet. I think this thing is broken.
  Alan: If I may...
  (pan up to reveal Akan still telekinetically pinned to the ceiling}
  Alan: You might have more luck if you talk about your hobbies.
  Darhk: I just said that I enjoy destroying the world to remake it in my image! Oh! I like trying new restaurants.
  Alan: Also, your profile says you're 199 years old.
  Damien: Yeah, it wouldn't go any higher. Could you fix that?
  Alan: Well, everyone lies about their age....
  • "Hi Annoyed, I'm Dad." That is all.
  • Even better - the profile he likes on the dating app? It's Carrie C., a.k.a. Cupid.
• When Darhk agrees to let Nora go on the mission alone with Ray, he tells her to "use protection." She says "Ew" and takes her hand off Ray's shoulder. Darhk rolls his eyes and hands her a gun. Even better when you remember that Ray and Nora's actors are married.
• Ray and Nora's beautiful banter and arguing.
  Ray: It's time you showed your father what's inside you...besides the demon.
• Darhk spends most of the episode at odds with Nora, and he's trying to figure out the mysteries of fatherhood first with a corpse and then with Ray.
  • The scene with Ray is also funny because of Darhk berating him for not responding...before remembering that he's technically got him in a choke-hold with his magic.
  • The Hypocritical Humor of Nora calling her dad a Manchild all while acting like a Bratty Teenage Daughter.
  • When Darhk is tying up Ray, they are still having their talk.
  Ray: That's not a strong knot.
  Damien: And how would you know?
  Ray: Because I was an Eagle Scout. Trust me!
  • Even funnier when you realize he's letting Darhk do this to him.
• Nora belts Past!Darhk in the face and smirks "Always wanted to do that." Damien just grins back.
• Director Bennett's wonderfully dark death scene. First he's trying to stop Alexander Hamilton from seeing Hamilton and berating Ava for not arresting Rip...completely unaware that a very angry Grodd is behind him causing chaos before making short work of him.
  Sara: I'm sorry Ava, he was a good man...I think.
  • Rip's complete apathy to Bennett's death. He casually replies to Ava's horrified "Oh my God" by saying "It's Grodd, actually". He later comments on how unfortunate the situation is in the most half-hearted way possible. He then quickly points out that Ava is now in command and asks for his job back.
  • Just before that, Ava's reaction to hearing about the Hamilton situation:
  Ava: How did everyone manage to get tickets to that show except me?
• After getting a call from his past self wanting to exchange a captured Nora for the scientist he's trying to kill, Darhk comments "I am gonna kick my ass!" Probably the single strangest threat that one person has ever made against another.
• While tense and somewhat emotional, the climax of the episode basically boils down to Darhk unintentionally treating Nora like a yo-yo as he gets his ass handed to him by himself.
• Darhk shoots the scientist. Why?
  Darhk: Well, I can't have him ruining my perfect record!
• Doubling as a CMOH, Sara convinces Wally to stay by revealing how the Legends are the masters of the bad first impression (citing "Shogun" for Nate and Amaya, and Mick's multiple betrayals).
• Past Darhk acting like a stone-cold badass under a ridiculous wig modeled after Anton Chigurh's.

Episode 14: Amazing Grace

• Zari explains to Wally how chores are done on the ship.
  Zari: We divvy up cleaning duties by Ray's chore wheel which uses a complex system I pretend not to understand until he eventually does my chores for me.
  • We see a shot of said chore wheel which has three different circles with the team's names and just so confusing that no wonder they hated it.
  • And then Wally cleans the entire kitchen in a second.
• The early signs of rock and roll being eliminated: a video game named Trombone Hero; Mick's rat now named Josh Groban; and Nate's hair is now horrible without the same hair gel that Elvis made popular.
• The team figures out it's the Darhks.
  Nate: The only people evil enough to kill rock and roll. And I bet the sick bastard likes ska.
  • Additionally funny with real-world context: the piece of ska music popular around that time most people are familiar with? We Are Number One.
• After Sara states that they need to go to 1954 Memphis, the rest of the team doesn't move. Why? Because she usually makes these announcements with more pizazz.
  Sara: (exasperated) All right Legends! Put on your Sunday best because we are going to church!
  • Even better she says the last bit with Jazz Hands.
• The sight of the Legends in a 1954 southern church; to say they don't fit in is an understatement.
  Ray: Just keep Mick away from the collection tray. And the communion wafers.
  (cut to Mick spitting out some wafers)
• After it's decided that the team needs to get Elvis' guitar, something that would normally take up at least half of an episode, Wally speeds off and gets it in a few seconds.
  Zari: Is it just me, or is that really annoying?
• The team wonder if the fact the guitar contains the Death Totem means Elvis is supposed to join the team. Nate suggests Gideon having him whip up a sequined jumpsuit and Ray says that they can use the totem to "finally achieve my Broadway dreams!"
• So, Elvis' record is playing on the radio, and Elvis' uncle is willing to let his nephew play rock and roll. Happy ending, episode over, right? Cue ghosts.
• Only this team could find themselves in battle with a haunted guitar floating around the ship.
• Nate is explaining the situation while behind Sara, Wally is being dragged around by the guitar as Zari chases him.
• Ray insists on throwing a funeral with Axl complete with a tiny coffin and mini-wreaths. Mick and Sara are ready to leave but Ray insists they need this.
  Sara: Fine, but when I mourn, I drink.
  Ray: Fair enough.
  • Sure enough, she and Rory mix and share drinks during Ray's entire eulogy. He asks if Sara wants to say anything but she smirks "you're doing a great job."
  Ray: And now I'd like to share a lyric of "Sweet Child of Mine."
  Sara: Okay, I'll say something.
• The episode ends with an In Memoriam for Mick's pet rat.

Episode 15: Necromancing the Stone

• Wally finds out the hard way that Rory sleeps in the nude when Sara assembled everyone together for a briefing.
  Zari: I tried to warn you...
• Sara doesn't end the briefing with her usual pizazz because "Momma's got a headache."
• Turns out Leonardo da Vinci was a cross-dresser and The Mona Lisa is a self-portrait.
• Gideon can't express the emotion, but she makes it clear that she's pissed that someone disabled her monitoring system.
• Ava shows up in holographic form to talk to Sara and thrown by Sara's appearance.
  Ava: Wow, these holo-feeds really bleach out your skin. Did you do something with your hair?
  • Ava then shows up to talk to the others...and demand Mick move as he's half in her hologram.
• When Ava and Gary enlist Constantine in order to get in contact with the Legends, he is chasing a chicken around his apartment with a Latina woman. No explanation of this is given, except it somehow has to do with the woman's son getting married.
  • He initially assumes Ava and Gary have come to evict him, and insists he won the apartment in a duel and that is perfectly legal.
  • He's totally nonchalant over killing Sara and mutters "ah, bollocks" when he hears she's bonded to the Totem. Gary briefly tries to explain what "bollocks" means^note British slang for testicles before Ava cuts him off.
  • At one point, Constantine pulls out a severed human foot to use in a ritual, to Ava's surprise.
  Ava: So you have a foot but you don't have a phone.
  • Constantine inevitably lets it slip to Ava, who is in a relationship with Sara at the moment, that he and Sara had sex previously.
  Constantine: Seems we share a taste in damaged women.
  Ava: Sara's not damaged.
  Constantine: And I'm the bloody Pope.
  • Gary's giggling reaction to realizing they both slept with Sara is priceless.
• Gary realizes that the situation the Legends are in is a lot like a game of D&D he played with his friends...whereupon he basically asks Ava and Constantine to stay with him on this.
  • Mick being compared to the Half-Orc Rogue.
  • Ray getting compared to a "cheerful gnome who was also a very accomplished wizard".
  • The point of Gary's story hits two stumbling blocks: he bluntly admits that his team ultimately suffered a Total Party Kill, and he assures the others that the Legends will be fine as long as they don't split up. Cut to them splitting up.
• Essentially, Ray's solution to fixing the Fire Totem? Nuking it in a microwave.
• When Amaya finally convinces him to at least try to use the fire totem, Mick petulantly puts it on and tells her that it didn't work. Cue the totem then bonding with him.
• After Sara comes back to herself, she thanks Ava and Ava notes that she had help and turns to Mick and John. Mick's staring at the ball of fire he's holding in one hand, and John promptly decides to use it to light a cigarette (which makes Mick look a bit alarmed). When the shot switches back to Sara and Ava, Sara looks amused and fond, Ava looks fond and concerned.
• In a bit of Black Comedy near the end Constantine and Sara have a drink with Sara asking him point blank that if he knew Sara’s soul could indeed be traded for Astra's, would he have let Mallus take her. John's response:
  John: In a heartbeat.
  • Even better is Sara's “yup that's fair” facial expression.
• There's apparently quite a bit of history between Constantine and Beebo - which inevitably leads to yet again more tension between him and Ava.
  John: What you got on your socks there squire?
  Gary: Oh! It's Beebo. My Aunt Stacy bought them for me. You like Beebo?
  John: Once when I was on a massive bender, I put a spell on that toy to make him talk. He told me things that'll make your toes curl.
  Gary: Oh, like what?
  Ava: OK, Sara's soul is trapped in the realm of a demon and her ship and her entire crew are lost in time. Who cares about Beebo!
  John: Well his Aunt Stacy does! You're wound tight as a bloody drum, aren't you love? Pardon me: "Pet." You know you need to loosen up and the work just flows.
  Ava: Oh is that work you were doing? Sorry, I couldn't tell.
  John: There isn't exactly a paint-by-numbers spell for locating a spaceship floating through a temporal stream. My business card says "Master of the Dark Arts", not Dr. Ruddy Whats-His-Face.
  Ava: Who?
  Gary: Who.
  John: Exactly!

Episode 16: I, Ava

• Ray pouting over Sara making Amaya acting captain instead of him.
• Gary, as usual, is worth plenty of laughs:
  • When he arrives on the Waverider, he's walking around with his eyes covered so that he won't accidentally see Sara and Ava in the middle of anything.
  • Stating how desperate he's gotten to cover up that Ava hasn't been in work.
  Gary: I've already forged her signature twice. What am I supposed to do, put on a wig and pantsuit and pretend to be her?
  Ray: (Brain Bleach)
  Sara: ...No, Gary, don't do that.
  • He says that the future Vancouver full of clones of Ava is like a dream he's had.
  Sara: I've had that dream too, but there's less clothes in mine.
  Gary: Mine too!
  • Being absolutely useless during the fight scene.
• When asked why they've been posing as Ava's parents, her "mother" replied "you know how hard it is to get acting jobs in Fresno?"
  • Sara then replies "sorry about the knife, gut reaction."
• Ray has a truly spectacular Take That! moment when he's fighting the clones of Ava and calls it the "second worst Attack of the Clones" he's ever seen.
• Damien complains about the darkness of Vixen. He sees Nora glaring through her face and replies "oh, not you, honey, it's fine on you."
• Once again, Damien Darhk somehow gets into an impromptu therapy session with a captive Legend. This time, it's Nate.
  • His failure to carry through with the torture is played out like a failure to perform sexually.
  Darkh: Torture just doesn't bring the same joy anymore!
  Nate: This is deep stuff, Damien. Really deep. Let's just keep digging, keep digging. But...put the cattle prod away? I'm gonna die anyway.
  Darkh: Sure, safe space, safe space.
  • The two gleefully faking Nate being tortured.
• Wally and Amaya show up to rescue Nate.
  Wally: Get your hands off that hard body. That sounded better in my head.
• Throughout the episode, Mick blows off totem training with Zari, and keeps offering her food despite her Ramadan fast (including either ignoring or being unaware of her inability to eat pork products). When she finally has enough and snaps at him, he responds by calling her a bitch, so she uses her totem to start kicking his ass.
  • Amaya hears the sounds of this, and seemingly aware of what's happening, merely smiles.

Episode 17: Guest Starring John Noble

• For starters: That is the actual episode name.
  • The title is more literal than you think: in order to trick Nora into going onto the Waverider to be trapped, since she only listens to Mallus now, they need to find a way to impersonate Mallus. As it happens, at this exact same time, Mick happens to be watching Return of the King...so, cue a cut to 1999 New Zealand, where Ray, pretending to be a stagehand on the set of the trilogy, goes to Noble's trailer, and tricks him into reading lines for Mallus.
  • As an additional meta note, this is the second time in two seasons that the climax to the season involves "The Lord of the Rings" in some capacity.
  • In a beautiful Take That! moment, Ray claims that Nora is a new character added because "the studio wanted to beef up the female presence in the film." Noble reacts with horror at the idea of altering Tolkien just to add a new character.
  • Making the "Eureka!" Moment funnier is that while everyone else notices John Noble's voice was an exact match to Mallus, Mick is too enthralled watching Return of the King to care.
• Nate is freaking about a "Code 131." No one has any idea what he's talking about as they didn't read the memo. It then turns out that Ray wrote a song about it. Which he then proceeds to sing to everyone.
• The promo made a big deal about how Gorilla Grodd was sent back in time to go after Barack Obama while he is in college. The conflict is introduced, then resolved, within the first few minutes of the episode.
• "Time to make America Grodd again!"
• While preparing to rescue young Obama from Grodd, Sara gets this brilliant line:
  Sara: (to Zari) Alright, do it. The rest of us, we're on Obama-care.
• The gang are a bit thrown to see the future President as a kid.
  Obama: Barack is what it says on my birth certificate.
  Sara: Yeah, you might want to hang onto that.
• Mick sounds hilariously petulant once Darhk comments that the ankh symbol is upside down.
  Darhk: Your ankh symbol is upside down.
  Mick: No it's not.
  Darhk: Yes it is.
  Mick: NO IT'S NOT!
• After rescuing Obama, Sara goes back to talk to him about how to deal with Damien Darhk and Mallus. Then she erases his memory again.
  Sara: I really miss you.^note A none-too-subtle dig at a certain other person (zapp)
• After Ray suggests he shrink down into Nora's ear and impersonate Mallus to trick her:
  Darhk: Okay, new guy question — is that a joke plan or a real plan?
  • Later, when Ray is actually doing so, Nora says that Mallus is talking to her...very loudly. Cue Ray lowering the volume on his speakers.
• "Tell Peter Jackson no more chickens. I ate four this morning."
• Rip telling Darhk there's no way Sara will give him the Death totem no matter what. Followed immediately by Sara throwing Darhk the totem.
• Nate's pitch for having the Earth totem is that he owns all of Planet Earth on Blu Ray, and was stoned when he watched it all.
• Wally explaining to Amaya what he and Ray are doing in Zambezi:
  Wally: Short version, Nora's on the ship, tripping on Mallus juice. Damien Darhk gave us the Water Totem after they saved Barack Obama, and, uh, we are here to help you create the anachronism so we can release Mallus and then we can kill him.

Episode 18: The Good, The Bad And The Cuddly

• Mallus reveals that his name is actually pronounced Malice. Everyone spends the rest of the episode going back and forth on both pronunciations. Except for Mick, who calls him "Phallus".
• The team reunite with Hex.
  Sara: Who died and made you sheriff?
  Hex: That'd be the old sheriff.
• When Nate comes across Ray sneaking Darhk off the ship as part of an emergency plan without anyone's permission:
  Nate: I'd like to know what you're doing.
  Darhk: Me too.
  Ray: (is quiet for a moment, then punches Nate out)
• The Legends' first attempt to create a champion form...doesn't go as planned.
  Nate: (thinking to himself) Concentrate, Nate, think about Voltron, Defender of the Universe!
  • Zari wonders to herself whether it's weird to think that Jonah Hex is hot. Sara agrees with her, and then they all realize that they can hear what everyone else is thinking.
  Mick: (sounding genuinely disturbed) Are we making a baby? (gets interrupted by the others) Seriously, are we making a baby?
  • The first champion they create is...a horrifying, multi-limbed, barely animate screaming blob of flesh. Everyone looks like they're going to puke. Then Mick promptly sets it on fire.
• Ray walks into the saloon after taking off with Damien Darhk. When Sara asks him where Darhk is, Nora steps in behind Ray, and everyone immediately pulls out their weapons.
  Nate: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wrong Darhk, WRONG DARHK.
• Amaya and Nate embark on a vision quest again to find out how to fight Mallus with the totems properly. In the vision, they see the original Zambesi totem bearers holding hands in a circle, and beams of light from the totems converging in the centre. Nate's assessment?
  Nate: They beat him with the Care-Bear Stare!
• When Sara is reluctantly talked into taking up the death totem again, Mick cheerfully promises that if she goes evil from it again, he'll kill her. She honestly thanks him.
• Sara's Rousing Speech takes an awkward left turn at the end.
  Sara: All right. We're facing an army of Romans, Vikings, and pirates. But you know what today is? Today is the day that we prove that Rip did not sacrifice his life in vain. And today is the day that we prove that we are NOT losers. And today...is the day that we earn the name "Legends."
  (hoists a shot of whiskey into the air and downs it as the group cheers)
  Sara: (squints) Now...how do we sneak out the back?
• The Legends need an avatar to defeat Mallus. A beacon of hope and brightness. Cue the goofiest smackdown in TV history as Mallus is defeated by a building-sized Beebo.
  Beebo want cuddle!
  • Everyone's "WTF?!" reactions (especially Hex) are priceless.
    Freydís: The Blue God—he has returned.
    Ray: (laughs in disbelief)
    Helen: That is your captain's plan?
    Sharpe: Where the hell are Sara and the others?
    Jax: That is Sara and the others!
    Sharpe: What?!
    Hex: (tilts his head in confused acceptance)
    Avatar: Beebo hungry! (giggles) (runs off to face Mallus)
    Jax: Man, have I missed you guys.
  • From the comments section: "This is actually really awesome, not to mention a great way of adding insult to injury for Mallus. Sure other very powerful and evil entities have been defeated before, but is there really any way to live down the shame of having been beaten by a cuddle craving blue toy?"
• After the team separates from their combined Beebo form after defeating Mallus, Mick utters what may be possibly the greatest line in Arrowverse history:
  Mick: Worst orgy ever.
  • Beebo destroys Mallus with a Meteor Move...and the resulting explosion forms a giant blue heart shape.
  • The look on Mallus' face before being slammed back to Hell. The worst part isn't the defeat, it's the humiliation he'll face from the other Hell Lords.
• During an otherwise heartwarming Group Hug, at which Mick is at the center, he loudly protests "Get off me!"
• Amaya gets a hilarious line after they defeat Mallus.
  Amaya: I'm just glad the ancestors aren't here to see this.
• At the end of the episode, the team returns to Aruba (to Mick's annoyance, as he wanted to go by himself) and is relaxing on the beach when Constantine shows up...except it's really Gary in cosplay.
  • Zari tells him that his wig looks presidential. He promptly takes it off.
  • At which point, the real Constantine shows up, saying "he's with me," meaning he was okay with Gary doing this weird act.
  • Just the sight of Constantine in his usual rumpled suit standing on a beach with a dragon's head at his feet.

Season 4

Episode 1: The Virgin Gary

• We rejoin the team during the arrival of The Beatles. And who should ride in but Paul Revere, screaming about a British invasion.
  • Mick immediately knocks out Revere, and Nate takes his place on his mission while carrying him back to his own time. As soon as they're through the time portal, the unconscious Revere falls off the horse.
  • Revere comes out yelling "the British are coming!" Ray automatically claims "the real Paul Revere never said that" then realizes it is Revere. And then Nate yells it while riding through the portal.
• Mick is really grumpy and would rather punch out The Beatles than protect them but then Nate explains to him that without The Beatles, Black Sabbath might never exist. Mick immediately takes his assignment very seriously.
  • His statement of "Never met an Englishman I didn't wanna punch in the face" is even funny on a meta-level when you remember Dominic Purcell is British.
• While Sara's ecstatic they've finished rounding up the anachronisms, the others are bored and annoyed that no new monsters have shown up, as they feel that'd be more exciting.
  Ray: That would help our ratings.
  Zari: What ratings?
  Ray: The Time Bureau rates all its agents. We're pretty low but have small yet active fanbase.
  Zari: Gary doesn't count.
  • Later on...
  Ray: Maybe the Bureau will up our ratings. People do love the Supernatural.
• When Ava very briskly calls the team to Time Bureau HQ, Sara assumes she somehow found out about Constantine's warning at the end of last season.
  Sara: Who told Ava about the dragon?!
  Nate, Zari and Ray all point at each other
  • After it turns out that Ava just called them in for a Surprise Party to celebrate and reward the team for all they've done, we get this little gem:
  Mick: I don't want your stinking medal.
  Ava: There's an open bar.
  Mick: ...Where?
• Constantine just standing for who knows how long in the living room of Sara's apartment just waiting for the chance to fire his lighter for a dramatic entrance. Sara just rolls her eyes.
• Sara in bunny slippers.
• John mutters something and then spreads some bones onto the counter.
  Sara: What am I looking at?
  John: The knuckle bones of a martyred saint, obviously.
• Mick is excited to join Nate in breaking into a mansion. They find themselves held at gunpoint...at which point, Mick finds out the two are Nate's parents and this is his old house.
  Mick: I'm Mick Rory. Of the...Central City Rorys.
• Two words: Killer unicorn. Six more words: "The unicorn bit my nipple off."
  • "John, the unicorn has already gored two hippies!" might be one of the best It Makes Sense in Context lines ever.
• Nate and Ray's reaction to the unicorn (Before it gets stabby):
  Nate: Twilight Sparkle come to life.
  Ray: Dude, are you a brony?
  Nate: Dude, we're brony bros.
• The Legends (sans Sara) all getting high as hell on the unicorn's musk: Nate sees Mick as his father, Mick sees Nate as a giant version of his dead pet rat Axl, Zari starts waxing poetic about love, and Ray makes out with a tree he thinks is Nora.
  Zari: I'm still fuzzy on how we were...
  Mick: Roofied by a horse.
• The reason Sara isn't affected is because when the unicorn sprayed out its magic blast, she ducked behind Zari. Zari just gives her a "seriously?" look.
• Constantine pulls out an ancient spellbook.
  Sara: Not to pressure you but the entire fate of the Sexual Revolution hangs in the balance here.
  Constantine: That is my favorite revolution.
• The Legends robbing various rock stars at Woodstock to get the ingredients Constantine needs for his banishing spell:
  • The first ingredient is saliva from a nine-fingered man, so Nate steals a joint from Jerry Garcia (and gets chased by an angry mob).
  • The second is protection stone of a powerful shaman, so Mick steals Jimi Hendrix's necklace.
  • The third is a lock of hair from a doomed woman, so Ray grabs a lock of hair off of Janis Joplin.
    • The team learns they need a virgin to make it all work and everyone thinks that's impossible to find at Woodstock. So who do they get? Hint: Read the episode title.
  • Gary's response is to wonder if he still "counts" after whatever he and Constantine did. Constantine reassures him that yeah, he does.
    • Even better are the reactions of the others: Zari and Ray look like they didn't need to hear that, while Sara perks up and looks like she's interested in the details.

Episode 2: Witch Hunt

• The gang talk of the monsters that could threaten the timeline.
  Mick: Like, uh, vampires.
  Zari: Gremlins.
  Ray: Aswangs. (everyone looks at him) Cannibalistic Filipino were-beasts with probiscis-like tongues.
• Zari talks about Constantine.
  Sara: Yeah, about that. Constantine is...
  (enter John lugging a huge suitcase)
  Constantine: Tired, hung over and in need of a stiff one. Dealer's choice what that's a euphemism for.
  • Seeing John join, Ray decides to update the chore wheel.
  • Constantine demands various things, including "two weeks paid vacation."
  Zari: Vacations?
  Mick: Paid?
• Ray's name proposal for their new targets: Mythteries.
  Sara Fugitives it is.
  • And barely a scene later, Sara produces an even worse play on words.
  Sara: Well I hope you're feeling morally superior, cause we're getting our puritan puriton.
  Beat
  Sara: That was too much, right?
• Ray reports the incident they saw.
  Ray: We saw a woman summon a murder of crows and now I get why they call it that.
• The gang note that if things aren't changed, everyone in Salem is going to spontaneously combust.
  Mick: My kind of woman.
• Constantine assumes that Prudence is being possessed by a demon. So he and the team are completely flabbergasted that when a Fairy Godmother is the culprit.
  Sara: What in the Disney hell is this?
• Everything about the Fairy Godmother, a delicious dark parody of the Disney godmother.
  '''I mean, who chooses to wear glass slippers? Think of the blisters!
  • She actually sings a song with Ray noting there's music playing in the background. She then sings another song while preparing to have the gang killed by crows.
• Mick gives Prudence a donut on a tray that lights up with a video game called Beebo Blox.
• Constantine getting on Mick's nerves:
  • He interrupts Mick's snack raid to get Gideon to replicate him some spell ingredients.
  • He takes over the bathroom to water down a spell book, which stinks up the place.
  • He takes over the lounge and Mick's spot at the TV.
  Mick: Get out of my chair, weasel! I'm watching the [American] football!
  John: [watching international football] Game's on already, mate! You want a marmite crumpet?
  Mick: What did you call me?!
• Ava runs into Nate, who's in a bathrobe because he's been sleeping at the Time Bureau HQ.
  • When she first hears someone moving around the office late at night, she assumes Gary sleepwalked to work again.
• When Nate realizes that his father is in the meeting he agreed to help Ava out in, he backs out, telling Ava that Gary can provide all the help she needs. Cue a shot of Gary having somehow gotten his hand caught inside a cardboard tube.
  Gary: We'll give them the old ham and eggs!
  • Gray tries to prove magic is real by showing his bit-off nipple. It goes as well as you'd expect.
  Ava: Gary, put it away!
• Nate comes to the Waverider to grab some quick evidence on the proof of magic, he comes across Ray, who's been turned into a pig. When he learns that the same thing happened to Mick, he asks where Mick is. Cut to Pig!Mick eating food scraps in the kitchen.
• Look closely at Ava's (as well as Gary's) lines of sight when Ray finally reverts back to human form.

Episode 3: Dancing Queen

• The sight of Queen Elizabeth II in full Crown Jewels rocking out in a 1977 London punk club.
  Nate: Now I understand how Sir Mix-A-Lot got his knighthood.
• Ray complains over just five folks on the ship and "there's no one to watch Patrick Swayze movies with." He then gives Constantine an appraising look while John seems confused.
• Nate's new desk job is less exciting than he expected. There are reams of paperwork, the highlight of the week is receiving tacos on Monday instead of on Tuesday, and Gary keeps trying to act like it's the coolest job ever.
• Ray drops the guys off at the punk club.
  Ray: You kids have fun. I'll have some hand sanitizer when you come back.
• Constantine gives Mick a hot foot with Mick responding by smashing a bottle over his head. Yep, it's a Bar Brawl.
  • During which the camera cuts to Ray in the van listening to light rock music and bobbing his head.
• The band congratulates Ray for escaping the police by driving on the wrong side of the road. Ray, of course, doesn't get what he did wrong.
• When Mick's bickering with Constantine finally causes the latter to leave the ship:
  Sara: Not your finest work, bud.
  Mick: He's gonna get us killed.
  Sara: You just don't like guys with ties!
  Mick: That's right! It's like a little flag hanging from someone's neck saying "I'm a liar".
• Constantine assumes that the Irish member of The Smell is a Leprechaun. When Zari asks if he's being serious or racist, he replies "Both."
• Due to Ray being forced to steal one of the Queen's Corgis, Sara and Mick decide to "QB" the situation, with Mick walking Ray through what to do...which amounts to having Ray sit on a bench and wait as Sara beats up the security personnel, then walk up to the dog walker and just ask for one...which he gets, unaware that it's because Sara intimidated the dog walker into doing so.
• Zari tracks Constantine down to a pub that, as it turns out, his mom works at...and it turns out Constantine deliberately went there just so that he can give his dad a "back-alley vasectomy" so that he won't be born. And this equates to kicking him in the balls...except he keeps being prevented from doing so by blinking out of existence for a second. Zari explains that this is the result of the "ball kick paradox".
• Mona, the taco delivery girl, discovers some important top-secret information about the Time Bureau (starting with the fact that it exists) because Gary can't lie to save his life. Right after Gary hits it off with her, he erases her memory.
• In order to be The Mole while hanging out with The Smell, Ray claims as part of his cover story that he hated disco so much that he left New York to get away from it. What winds up blowing his cover? A newspaper report concerning the ABBA incident from "Here I Go Again".
• Ray sits next to Mick on a bench trying to be cool and secret agent. Mick is fighting not to punch him in the face.
• Charlie reveals the band members all have embarrassing stuff in their past, including that the guy Constantine assumed was a leprechaun isn't actually Irish. He reverts to his much plummier accent to say he thought it would sound more street.
• "Gary, did you put butter in the coffee machine again?"
• Gary gives Nate a desk plant as a memento of their first mission together. Turns out that the reason the blip randomly disappeared was because the plant was the blip, and it's actually a dangerous magical creature. Nate hands Gary a stapler and grabs a paper-cutter blade before running after it.
• Charlie ends up in Shapeshifter Mode Lock as Amaya, meaning we get to see Maisie Richardson-Sellers follow up her portrayal of the wise and heroic Amaya with a Cockney-accented punk rocker.
  • Speaking of Charlie as Amaya, Nate finally admits to Sara that the reason he left the ship was because he felt like he was seeing Amaya around every corner, but now he's willing to put that past him and come back. Sara has to think quickly to convince him to stay at the Time Bureau while they handle the current situation.

Episode 4: Wet Hot American Bummer

• Sara reading the A.V. Club's review of "Swamp Thaaaang". Why is it funny? 'Cause it's a word-for-word copy of their review of "Last Refuge". Including the D+ rating.
• When Sara and Ava realize that something's strange about the horror movie they're watching, Sara tries to ask Gideon for background, only to be met with complete silence...because she's not on the Waverider.
  Ava: (pause, smirking) We're in my room, babe.
  Sara: ...Right.
• Ava assumes the gang is keeping Charlie on board to find out about her inter-dimensional prison. Sara and Zari badly lie that's the reason.
• Ray is happy to find they're going after a summer camp.
  Ray: They used to call me "Kid Counselor."
  Constantine: I'm sure you took that as a compliment, mate.
  Ray: Of course, due to my great leadership skills. Right....guys?
• Sara has to literally stop Constantine from wearing his tie and smoking while in camp counselor gear.
  • Just the sight of Constantine walking around in shorts, blue shirt and shades.
• Ava's attempts to run the summer camp like a military group.
• The girls at the summer camp successfully pranking Ava.
• John manages to interrogate the boys in his and Ray's cabin by hypnotizing them, and one comments that his missing friend snuck out to make it to second base with a girl...and then wonders why anyone would want to play baseball in the dark. John's massive eye roll is hilarious.
• To go undercover, Sara and Ava use a spell to turn into 12 year olds. Hilarity Ensues.
  • Kid!Ava is angered at the girls tricking her into the lake and "glad she didn't catch pneumonia."
  • When John is surprised the potion worked, Sara realizes he's never actually tested it on humans before.
  • The girls easily beat down the mean camp counselor...before realizing she's human.

Episode 4: Tagumo Attacks!!!

• Zari comes in to Mick's room to find him writing.
  Zari: Were you...
  Mick: Yes. I was watching porn.
  Zari: On a typewriter?
• Sara is calling for a meeting with clapping hands. Charlie stands up from the couch, complaining about the noise while drinking Sara's whiskey.
• Gary has managed to catch....Baba Yaga, who was "trying to eat some Chinese gymnasts at the 2008 Olympics."
  Baba Yaga: [in Russian] I want to peel off your face and eat it! [lunges for Hank]
  Hank: What's she saying?
  Gary: Oh, just a traditional Russian greeting.
• Mick attempting to fit in 1951 Japan.
  Mick: (accepting a drink) Gracias.
• Nora Darkh, once the embodiment of dark magic...is now working as a "tavern wench" at a Renissance Faire.
• Nate introduces Ava to his family.
  Nate: That's my grandma, Violet. Do not let her rope you into playing cards, it's a lose-lose situation. And there's my Uncle Rich. Don't mention Obama.
• When the magical creatures escape, Gary shoves Mona into a closet. By the time Nate arrives, she's escaped, and is cooing over the monsters.
  Nate: What is she doing here?
  Gary: She was supposed to stay in the closet! I was gonna flash her later!
  [Nate and Mona both give him disgusted looks]
  Gary: Okay, that didn't sound right.
• Ava tries to stall for time by claiming it's her family tradition to list everything they're grateful for. She can't think of anything at first, and when we cut back, she's thanking Hank for a recent small raise.
• Who is the only Legend that can use the Journal Of Brigid to stop Tagumo? Mick. Who defeats it by using the book to summon Karima, Queen of Danzanol. A purple-skinned, three-boobed alien Samurai.
  • And after Karima finishes off Tagumo, she and Mick consumate. Loudly. In front of everyone before they quickly leave. Sara has to pull Charlie away when she tries to keep watching.
  • It turns out that Mick and his alien queen had sex for so long that Sara, Charlie, and Zari got sick of waiting for them to finish and left.
• This exchange at the end:
  Mick: I was thinking about adding a fourth boob.
  Honda: Three was plenty.

Episode 6: Tender is the Nate

• Mona's first day includes wanting to decorate a savage caveman's cell with palm trees. And then making nice with Nora.
• Sara tries to give Ava an—ahem—present for her birthday. This is derailed when Director Haywood walks in, and Sara spends the rest of the scene using her ninja skills to stay out of his sight.
  Haywood: If I didn't know better, I'd say you were in bed with the Legends. That or Captain Sara Lance was screwing with you.
  (under the table, Sara rubs Ava's leg)
  • Also, the items include such things as $1.7 million for costumes.
• The entire inspection. Every attempt to come off as professional by the Legends is hilariously derailed by various factors. And the icing on the cake is Nate finding out about Charlie.
  • This includes Constantine sitting naked in an office for what appears to be no real reason.
• When Nate gets punched by Charlie, Hank finds it hilarious.
  Nate: [while preparing for the Paris mission] Hey, our first mission together. Dont worry, if anything goes wrong in the field, I got you covered.
  Hank: Yeah, welll...I didn't get cold-cocked by a girl.
  Sara: [amused] Have you ever been hit by a girl, Hank?
  Hank: [suddenly worried] ...no, ma'am.
• The team realize leaving Haywood with Mick may have been a mistake.
  Haywood: Drinking at work...
  Mick: Who said anything about work?
• Sara tries her usual pick-up speech.
  Sara: Let's find out what's happening in Gay Paree!
  Mick: I thought that was impolitically correct.
• Haywood soon gets into a classic Legends trope. He gets the chance to meet Ernest Hemingway, ecstatic on meeting his favorite author who has inspired him all his life...and discovers the guy is a total dick.
• Keeping up with his own bit of unlikely historical friends, Mick bonds with Hemingway over drinking and being authors.
• Nate shows Sara a drawing of the monster. Given the drawing was by Salvador Dali, they have no idea what they're looking at.
  • When the minotaur attacks later, Dali claims it "looks just as I drew it!"
• After the first failed attempt to capture the minotaur, Hank starts drawing up a new plan. Constantine however is incredulous that he's appropriated their D&D miniatures for the plan, while Nate is bummed out that they've been playing D&D without him.
• Hemingway declares he's joining the hunt.
  Hemingway: Marcel! My rifles!
  Waiter: Very good, sir.
  Mick: I need a Marcel.
• Mona gives Nora a trashy romance novel. While she's initially dismissive, she's later seen to be really into it.
  • Later on, Mona walks in again, asking if she’s got to the ending, while explaining it in detail. Nora slams the book shut, saying "I have now".
• The team first battle the Minotaur.
  Hemingway: I shall never surrender! (ducks an axe swing) But I will strategically retreat!
• Mona and Ava get locked in Nora's cell, and all three get drunk off Ava's birthday wine.
  Ava: Isn't breaking out of prison your thing?
  Nora: Only reason I escaped last time was because Ray gave me the time stone.
  Mona: Tell me everything, because I am big-time shipping you two!
  Ava: No shipping the inmates!
• When Nora finally agrees to read Ray's love letter that Mona smuggled in, they discover that Ray was shrunk down and inside the envelope the entire time, stuck in the glue.
• Sara punches Hemingway to stop him from shooting the Minotaur.
  Sara: That's for being on my eighth grade summer reading list.
• Sara tells the Fitzgeralds to get behind the bar when the minotaur attacks. Scott starts preparing himself a drink, and Sara has to clarify she meant for cover.
• When Nate brings in a lute, Mick wakes up and thinks they were talking about loot. Then when Nate compares it to a lyre he mutters "Everyone's a liar" and goes back to sleep. And the whole time, not a single person acknowledges any of this.

Episode 7: Hell No Dolly!

• Charlie tries to show some of her shape-shifting has come back a bit by warping one eye to the size of a balloon.
• Garima, the triple-breasted purple alien warrior queen, is still around, since Rory has been using the magical diary. The only word she knows in English is "beer." The Legends have pretty much just gotten used to her.
• Ray spends most of the episode with a blatantly fake moustache, seemingly as a stab against a different moustache-related incident.
  Ray: (to John and Mick) Gentlemen, I mustache you both to calm down.
• Our Ripple Effect Indicator about a serial killer in New Orleans? It's a trivia question on a box of kids cereal.
  • Ava is truly into serial killers, which seems to both worry and turn on Sara.
• Mona riding her bike to work wearing a massive helmet and huge earmuffs for protection. And somehow managing to hit the only parked car within fifty feet of her path.
• Gary's idea of flirting...leaves a lot to be desired.
  Nate: Hey, To Catch a Predator, what was that?
• Gary freezes with wide-eyed terror like he's having a war flashback at the mere mention of high school.
  Nate: Wow, you are broken.
• Nate encourages Mona to communicate with her crush, thinking it's Gary. It's actually Kohane the caveman.
• The fact a talking serial killer doll still isn't in the ten weirdest things the team has ever dealt with.
• Sara tries to get Ava and Mick to bond over dinner. It doesn't go well.
  Sara: Mick is an author.
  Ava: That is surprising although I wouldn't be surprised if his work is sexist and deveritive.
  Mick: It is.
• When Mike the Spike escapes the broken doll, he has to find a new vessel on the Waverider. His choice? The Professor Stein doll Citizen Cold used last season.
  Rory: I HATE PUPPETS!

Episode 8: Legends of To-Meow-Meow

• Charlie decides before getting Cat Zari back to the ship, she's going to take a trip...to 1962 Las Vegas. As Marilyn Monroe.
  • Where Charlie runs into "Red," a leprechaun who points out how his luck magic isn't even noticed in this town.
• Turns out the Legends actually did get calls from all three heroes to join Elseworlds, and simply blew it off.
• All of Constantine and Charlie's attempts to avoid just setting everything back how it was result in some marvelously ridiculous alternate timelines.
  • Custodians of the Chronology:
    • First off, you know Ray is the one who came up with the name.
    • Also the fact that Ray retains much of his usual dorky personality even when he's a cold-blooded killer.
    • His reaction to Charlie as Marilyn is "I am killing it at historical figure bingo!"
    • Sara is killed by the unicorn, resulting in the rest of the team becoming Darker and Edgier walking '80s stereotypes who constantly shoot to kill, are followed by cheesy synth music, and have an opening credits sequence parodying The A-Team.
    • Charlie meets a hot leather-clad Gideon with "smokin' assets."
    • Zari is carted around in a very large pink backpack cat carrier.
    • Zari-Cat operating the Waverider's navigation system.
      Charlie: Nice work, Zari-Cat.
      Zari-Cat: Meow.
    • Ava is sitting in her office in the dark, listening to sad music. She also dyed her hair black.
      Ava: ...we all grieve in our own way.
    • She then agrees to jump onto the plan to fix things.
      Ava: I like the Indigo Girls but they should not be a way of life.
    • When Constantine turns Zari human again, she is pretty pissed at him and Charlie for fracturing the timeline:
      Zari: Because of you dicks, I have been a cat for so long! You know where this tongue has been? [beat] Places.
    • Mona overhears Constantine turning Zari back into a cat, and asks him not to turn her into a cat—but if he does, to make her a fluffy calico.
    • Gary finds Charlie, shapeshifted into himself. She manages to convince him that she's a version of him from the future. Despite the fact that he knows there's a shapeshifter on the loose.
    • When Constantine and Charlie escape, they accidentally start a fight between the Custodians and the Bureau. They're largely unconcerned.
      Mona: Did they just all kill each other?
  • Sirens of Space-time:
    • Sara is saved but in turn all the men are killed and Zari is turned into a cat by the Fairy Godmother, resulting in a similarly Darker and Edgier all-female team of Sara, Ava, and Gideon in a new robot body, who are all Hell-Bent for Leather without bothering with any costumes and have their own opening credits based on Charlie's Angels.
    • After Charlie is outed as a shapeshifter, the Sirens gleefully start to execute her. Ava in particular does a comically Evil Laugh. And when Charlie runs off, instead of chasing after her, Sara only curses.
      Sara: Dammit!
    • Constantine being comforted by Zari-Cat and commenting on her fluffiness.
  • Charlie is jarred at how she keeps being referred to as the "White Whale" by the various teams.
  • Puppets of Tomorrow:
    • The Fairy Godmother is subdued, but she quickly convinces Mick to make a bond with her to return to his life of crime, and an offhand comment about the others being puppets of the Time Bureau means they're now all actual puppets and forced to act like they're on a kids' show.
    • Constantine, whose entire life is basically a horror movie and regularly battles demons, looks absolutely haunted at the sight of the Puppets of Tomorrow. He has finally found something too crazy even for him, and it's singing puppets.
    • The Fairy Godmother in Captain Cold's suit.
  • In one of the shorter alternate timelines, Gary is killed. Charlie briefly considers it a Close-Enough Timeline, before deciding to save him anyway.
    • Only someone like Gary would die via Teleporter Accident into a volcano with the time courier.
  • In another short timeline, Hank and Nate are killed, apparently by lawn gnomes.
• Sara's look of confusion when Charlie gets right back up after having her neck snapped. After all, someone capable of changing their shape constantly breaks their neck all the time.
• The sight of the Stein Puppet wrapped up in a straitjacket. That is all.
• Turns out Mick writes under a pen name: Rebecca Silver. And that book Mona was gushing about earlier in the season and having lended it to Nora was "hers".

Episode 9: Lucha de Apuestas

• Sara and Ava head into the headquarters still wheeling in the puppet killer.
• This gem of an exchange when Mick shoots Mona with a tranquilizer dart:
  Mick: (staring at his gun in confusion) What kind of gun is this?
  Ray: Did you just try to shoot her shoot her?
• Gary tries to wipe Mona's memory and ends up wiping his own instead. When he finally manages to get back to the Time Bureau, this happens:
  Gary: (panicked) I don't know who I am. I don't know why anything is things. I don't know where my nipple went. Where's my nipple? Where's my nipple? WHERE'S MY NIPPLE?!
• Ray asks Sara to make him acting captain while she's gone and presents a petition signed by the rest of the team. Mick's has had a couple of words in the middle blacked out, so it reads "Go [blank] [longer blank] Haircut".
• When Nate is having a serious conversation with Hank over the phone, his mom comes up and steals the phone to remind Nate about the benefit. As always, it's clear who's really in charge of the family.
  Nate's Mom: Oh, is that Nathaniel?
  Hank: Yes, dear. But this is a work matter—
  Nate's Mom: [takes the phone] Thank you, thank you. [into phone] Hello, sweetie. So don't forget, the benefit is tonight.
  Nate: Mom, I don't know if I'm gonna make it this year. I have a work emergency.
  Nate's Mom: Work can wait. Right, Hank?
  Hank: No.
  Nate's Mom: Yeah, your father's nodding. Okay, darling. See you here at 7:00. [makes kissy noise and hangs up]
• Ray's idea of a team-building exercise with Constantine and Charlie is a card game featuring trivia about the Legends' past missions.
  • This scene also contains a Take That, Scrappy! moment, as neither Charlie or Constantine are impressed by Vandal Savage's name.
• The wonderfully awkward moment when Nate's mom assumes that Zari is his girlfriend and compliments her on her childbearing hips.
  Nate's Mom: Nathaniel, darling.
  Nate: Hello.
  Zari: Yes.
  Nate's Mom: Ohho-ho. What, is this your new girlfriend?
  Nate: Um, yeah.
  Zari: Mm-hmm.
  Nate: This is Zari.
  Nate's Mom: Zari! What a beautiful name for a beautiful woman with excellent child-bearing hips. [pats Zari's hips]
  Nate: [coughs]
  Nate's Mom: Not to put a clock on it or anything, but Mm, grandchildren would be so lovely.
• When Mick learns Mona's a fan of his Rebecca Silver novel s, his opinion on her does an immediate 180.
• Sara and Ava arguing while doing a tango on the dance floor.
• It's not a Bar Brawl but it's still great how the team gets the wrestling crowd to fight off the agents trying to capture Kona.
  • One flies off in the air to the good old Wilhelm Scream.

Episode 10: The Getaway

• Richard Nixon being compelled to tell the truth tanks the economy, ruins world diplomacy...and keeps All the President's Men from being made, preventing Robert Redford's career. Mick finds that last one the worst.
  Mick: Save Redford and independent film.
  Sara: That's the spirit.
  Ray: [shrugs] We've done it for worse reasons.
• Mona tries to transform in the bathroom, but fails. When she comes out, she explains it away as having trouble with the toilet. Mick nods and says she'll get used to all the buttons eventually...but to never press the red one.
• Sara comes up a few minutes later and tells Mick to keep Mona on the ship and safe. And then, with a haunted look in her eyes, she reminds him not to let Mona push the red button.
• The Legends repeatedly sedating Nixon.
  • The Legends also forget that they left Charlie behind to cover for the absent Nixon. Twice.
• Gary isn't particularly surprised to find that despite Zari having just joined the Time Bureau, she's already his boss.
• Asked where they're going, Sara sarcastically says "we're going to Disney World!"
  Mick: Haven't we been tortured enough?!
• When Zari gives Gary his mission to unravel the conspiracy, he excitedly says that he needs everything for a conspiracy board—except the yarn, which he already has because he's been taking up knitting. Zari, surprised, says she has been too. Gary suggests they get a club together, and she seems on board.
  Zari: We'll talk.
• Some of the truths that the Truth Bug makes people confess:
  • Ray, after a series of deep truths, states that he doesn't believe that Han shot first.
  • Mick wants to grow his hair out like Fabio.
  • When Hank asks Nate if Zari really is his girlfriend:
    Nate: No, but I'm open to it.
    Mick: Ha! Fat chance.
• Hank can't remember Gideon's name, so calls her Siri and Alexa before getting it right.
  • Hank also really gets into the mission; not only does he hijack a police cruiser, but also the uniform, and ends up driving like a madman, laughing like he's having the time of his life.
• Nixon explains himself.
  Nixon: If you were born with the name Dick Milhouse, you'd grow up to be a bastard too.
• Gary tries to put together a conspiracy board about Hank, but ends up with a bunch of useless facts, and somehow knits a scarf in the process.
  Gary: How did that happen?
• Constantine gets a couple great one-liners, including "Looks like Nixon here is finally winning the War on Drugs" (with regards to sedating him), and "Time to put Dick in a box".
• During the roundtable scene, the truth bug gets loose and starts jumping between the different characters.
  • Ray initially confesses to Constantine that Constantine causes him to experience deep existential dread, then starts rambling off a large number of useless truths, one of them being that he "beat the Water Temple in The Legend of Zelda with a strategy guide."
  • Rory wants to grow his hair out like Fabio. Ray thinks it would look good.
  • When Sarah realizes that she's attracting the truth bug, she closes her hands over her mouth. The bug climbs in through her nose instead.
• Under the influence of the bug, Nate tells everyone he loves them.

Episode 11: Séance And Sensibility

• Charlie assumes that Mona's transformations means she's no longer a vegetarian.
• Sara gives Nate a kiss on the cheek goodbye. So does Ray, to everyone's (including Ray's) confusion.
• Mona can literally smell the arousal for Nate off of Zari.
• Zari openly notes "we are not passing The Bechdel Test."
• Mona suggests Zari just tell Nate how she feels. Charlie and Sara both scoff at the idea.
• The immediate sign of what the problem is in 1802 England? A wedding falls apart due to the bride admitting she's actually in love with the scullery maid...followed by the groom admitting he's actually in love with her mom. And then several more people begin making out with other people as well.
  Charlie: Now this is what I call a wedding!
• Mona, of course, going total fangirl on Jane Austen.
• When Nora shows up in the mirror of the bathroom Ray is using, Ray immediately states he is done with her over her killing Hank...and all it takes for Ray to change is mind is Nora simply saying "I didn't kill [him]".
• As Constantine and Mick come to realize, Hank's spirit is more or less haunting his funeral, so Constantine goes to Nate to inform him that they need to do a séance (since Hank has something important he needs to say to him)...and Nate shuts that down, due to being done with Hank. Not even Hank's creepy ghost actions can change his mind.
  Nate: (nearby record player turns on and plays backmasked messages) Ya don't scare me, Hank!
• Zari makes out with Kamadeva and realizes he's something more than human by the kiss alone. He identifies himself as the Hindu God of Love. Zari's response: "Awesome" and drag him into a nearby barn stall.
  • Sara and Mona come up, hearing loud noises...and then Zari reveals she's got Kamadeva tied up.
  • As they take him off, Mona gives Zari a look of "good one, girl!" while Sara has a stare of "what is wrong with you?"
• Meta: it's rather impressive how this show managed to get away with showing what was clearly a dream orgy brought about by Kamadeva's magic.
  • Even better is how we get clarification that it's a dream: while Zari is making out with a shirtless Kamadeva, a shirtless Nate shows up and starts doing the same.
    Zari: (sighs; turns to the viewer) ...Damn it, this is definitely a dream.
• Doubling as a CMOH, when Nate was a kid and upset they couldn't go to Disneyland, Hank bought and wore a Mickey Mouse costume in order to cheer him up.
• Meta: the episode that centers around Hank's funeral has a Bollywood musical number as the climax.
• In what is arguably the most shocking twist of the season, it turns out that Hank's true motive for gathering up magical creatures...was because he wanted to make an amusement park in order to make Nate happy. Nate facepalms and says that Hank really would have fit in with the Legends if they had known him better.
• Ray decides to be a gentleman and let Nora have his bed while he sleeps on a chair. Nora tries to point out that he couldn't possible sleep like that, but after only a few moments to apparently get comfortable, he's out like a light.
• The fact that the team completely fail to realize Ray is hiding Nora on the ship.

Episode 12: The Eggplant, The Witch and The Wardrobe

• Nate is still trying to process that Hank was building a magical creature-based amusement park in secret, and when we catch up to him at the start of the episode, he has roped Gary into shredding all related paperwork for it in a panic:
  Gary: Wait...we're the bad guys?
  Nate: I don't know who we are, Gary! Alright, we're the guys trying to keep my dad's cracked-out idea of "Jur-Magic Park" from tanking the Time Bureau!
  • In spite of the above, it comes off as a mild surprise how well he takes Ray's revelation that A) Nora didn't kill Hank and B) Hank was working with a demon. That isn't to say Nate is okay with the revelation, mind you; he's just mentally adding it to the pile that is now the mess that is his life.
  Nate: ...my dad made a deal with a demon to open a theme park.
  • When they discover Hank's cellphone in the office because it starts ringing, Nate reacts in kind: "If this is my dad's mistress, I'm gonna jump out a window."
    • In order to cover up that Hank isn't the one who picked up, Nate disguises his voice in order to sound like him...except it comes off more like Patrick Warburton.
• Ava's mental purgatory, for whatever reason, is structured like a knockoff Ikea. And Gary is there as one of the employees, something Ava chalks up to being reflective of unresolved Gary-related issues.
• While it doubles as a Tear Jerker due to how desperate Ava is to "get out of here", when Sara finds her, she's about to go through the checkout with a small plant.
• In the trailer for the episode, a big deal is made out of Sara's line to Ava "If you checkout, you die." So, when she actually gets to say it in the epsiode:
  Ava: Well, that's kinda on-the-nose, isn't it?
• The team mock Zari's wind powers.
  Mick: You're a human hairdryer.
• The team are brought into the situation.
  Mona: Ava's in Hell?
  Nora: Actually not in Hell. Her soul is trapped in limbo.
  Gary: (racing in) And I am right there with her!
• Mick offers Zari love advice for Nate.
  Zari: I'm not saying "bulge."

Episode 13: Egg Mac Guffin

• Nate and Zari's extremely awkward jokes about the mummy they just captured, which has Sara and Ava rolling their eyes.
  Ava: I mean, what the hell was that?
  • Followed by Sara telling Zari that even the mummy found it awkward.
• Ray's choice of words upon discovering his hand has a mind of his own? "Not groovy. Not groovy at all."
• Mick at first refuses to show up as Rebecca Silver at a convention...until he hears the $20,000 offer.
• When Nate brings Ray in for a hug due to assuming he's acting cagey and on edge due to Nora's coma, Ray awkwardly reciprocates (due to having to hide the fact his hand is pulsating with evil energy). Nate then reprimands him for the weak ass hug and makes him put effort into it.
  • Due to Neron refusing to let Ray explain what is going on, what ultimately clues Nate in to Ray being possessed? Neron making a knife fly into Ray's grasp.
• The entire bit of Charlie posing as Rebecca at a convention.
  • Mick "training" her in the role has to be seen to be believed.
• Sara approaching Mick's book like reading it is a major mission. Then deciding to listen to the audiobook while on the treadmill. Which she then puts on fast-forward.
• Zari checking out Nate as he's ducking and weaving through the tripwires (in an obvious, gender-flipped parody of Entrapment).
• Zari and Nate state how ridiculous the mission they're on is, saying the only thing that's missing is Nazis. Cue two Nazis walking into the room.
  • Moreover, due to them discovering the golden egg was replaced by a fake one, Nate and Zari immediately assume Sara fabricated the mission just to make their date interesting. And this lasts all the way up to them contacting Sara right as they are tied up and about to be shot for real.
• How does Neron!Ray try to convince Gary to join him? By returning his bitten-off nipple to him! And it works!
  • The nipple slowly crawling towards Gary? Gross. Gary saying "it's...beautiful"? Hilarious.
  • Just the thought of Gary as a villain.
• Sara and Ava betting $20 on whether Zari and Nate hook up before their mission ends.
  • Followed up by Sara and Ava walking in right as they are about to kiss. Cue the two arguing about who won the bet.
• One of Mick's erotic sci-fi novels is called Heat Waves.
• After Sara goes through all the trouble of reading one of Mick's books for Mona and Ava's book club as part of her effort to share experiences with Ava, only for Ava to admit that she doesn't actual read the books — she just sits back, drinking wine and relaxing, while letting Mona ramble on about the books.

Episode 14: Nip/Stuck

• Nora's horrible Time Bureau photo with her eyes closed and a weird face.
  Ava: Maybe we can just use the photo from your wanted poster.
• Constantine meeting his ancestor, who looks and sounds exactly like him. Clearly, he's thinking "so this is why people dislike me so much."
• Gary's possessed nipple has the power to hypnotize anyone who looks at it. Just read that sentence again.
  • This leads to "nip-notize" becoming a recurring line.
    Ava: To cut a long story short, Gary nip-notized everyone.
    Nate: No, you're gonna have to explain that.
  • And how does Mona save the day? By biting the nipple off again.
• How does Mona realize something is wrong? Because of how many agents recite "Gary Green is all the man we need."
• Of course Ray has a special plan left behind just in case the ship gets caught in an avalanche. And it turns out the team had already burned through all of it without knowing.
• Neron's cohort Tabitha is revealed to be none other than the Fairy Godmother from earlier in the season. Who then makes out with the possessed Ray, much to the disgust of the Legends.

Episode 15: Terms of Service

• Zari and Nate bond on how the "egg" is kicking.
• Gary living it up in Ava's office complete with massages, three nipples and the Fairy Godmother not believing Gary is wasting his wishes like this.
• The team's Lock-and-Load Montage includes Sara's batons, Mick's heat gun, Ava's pistol, Charlie's much bigger guns, and Zari with a belt of grenades.
  Zari: This feels like overkill.
• Neron's #EyesApp is only trending at #3 after launch, behind a cat getting a bath and Kanye West releasing a new album.
• Gary is the Fairy Godmother's host and all he could think of is to make Sara, Ava and Nora to join his bookclub and make himself Captain of the Waverider.
• Sara tells the guys "move onto plan B."
  Zari: What's plan B?
  Mick: I only listen for my name.
• Charlie disguises herself as the Fairy Godmother to infiltrate the Time Bureau. After running into Neron he tries to kiss her. When she leans out of the way of his kiss and makes an excuse to leave he checks to see if he has bad breath.
• Ava apologizes to Gary for making him pick up her dry cleaning and working overtime without extra pay.
  Ava: That's illegal, anyway...

Episode 16: Hey World

• Mona asks if Sara has seen an ogre around who "grunts and likes to drink beer?" Sara says to "ask Rory." Cut to the ogre and Mick having a drinking contest.
• Nora talks of being Gary's fairy godmother.
  Constantine: And I thought I was the one being tortured.
  Nora: Tell me about it.
• The Monitor shows up and anybody who's seen the "Supergirl" or "Arrow" finale will immediately assume he's there to stir up trouble and tease "Crisis on Infinite Earths" in someway. But no, all he does is munch on a bag of popcorn while watching the Legends' shenanigans for his own amusement.
• Mona leading Gary through the mess of creatures.
  Mona: Be careful, they can smell fear.
  Gary: What if fear is my natural scent?
• The return of the Killer Stein puppet.
• John and Nora rush in to save Ray from what they think is horrific torture...and instead find him playing Jenga with Vandal Savage, of all people, who has apparently seriously mellowed out while in Hell and buried the hatchet with Ray.
  Savage: Ah, I love those groovy guys.
• The Legends film a commercial for Hey-world, while dressed (and very poorly acting) as Kara, Oliver and Barry. Apparently, they tried to get the real deal but were turned down flat.
  • Nate reflects that their "Hard pass." was due to them skipping out on the yearly crossover.
• After telling his son he loves him, Hank's ghost literally shoves Nate's ghost off of the rafters just so he can be brought back to life. And right in the middle of the "Sweet Baby James" singalong.

Season 5

Special Episode: Crisis on Infinite Earths, Part Five

• See Crisis on Infinite Earths

Episode 1: Meet the Legends

• The opening includes a montage of "You Tuber reactions" to the Legends exploits which are actual real YouTube reactors. Needless to say, said reactors were thrilled to react to themselves in the episode.
• One of the news feed items is "RYAN REYNOLDS TO STAR IN 'DETECTIVE BEEBO' LIVE ACTION FILM."
• Really, just the entire idea of the Legends inviting a camera crew on board for a documentary to justify their existence.
• Proving they can't escape their bad luck, remember the Senator that Charlie was forced to impersonate last year and look like a monster to foster Neron's plans? Guess who's heading up the Senate committee to decide if the Legends should survive...
  Ava: Bad luck that the Senator chairing the committee was the same person we almost killed last year...
• Nate claims he was too busy to do the crossover. The subtitles immediately label him "not invited to the crossover."
  • Nate explains himself as a "superhero, amusement park impresario, historian, raised from the dead" and the chyron adds each title on as he speaks.
• Nate says that when you're famous, "no one says no to you about anything." Then he convinces the camera guy to give him his hat.
• Behrad goes to check himself out as an infant in the hospital.
• Charlie mentions that now that the Legends are heroes, they can go wherever they want. Then she realizes there's nothing keeping her here and takes the jumpship for a joyride.
• Mona somehow ended up as Rory's literary agent. Who tends to wolf out during negotiations with others.
  • And guess who her assistant is.
  Gary: A lot of things happened last year that I you could misconstrue as potentially, maybe being my fault.
• Ray keeps getting mistaken for Neron, the demon who possessed him and tried to summon Hell on Earth. Time even ran an article about it. He's pumped for the documentary because he hopes to fix his image.
• The "Welcome Back" to the ones in the crossover with Ray loving it. Sara...not so much.
• Nora is apparently still a fairy godmother, and still hating it. At least she's not Gary's anymore. His last wish was to become Constantine's apprentice.
• A bird runs into the ship while it's cloaked.
• "The Legends' patented party-sneak."
• Mona insists (via growling) on calling the returning enemies "Encores."
• The exorcism scene.
  Constantine: Do people really wear pajama sets?
  Gary: Yes.
  • The demon possessing the kid is an old friend of John's and they hit a bar.
• Ava's condolence card (at least, for those who didn't see it as a Kick the Dog moment).
  Ava: Dear Sara, I'm sorry the vigilante you slept with when he was already dating your sister died. Some say it’s better to have loved and lost, but I hope you never loved him at all.
• In order to help Sara not worry about the mission, the Legends plan on stopping Rasputin on their own. And without discussing each other's plans.
  • Nate and Ray are going to apprehend Rasputin before he can avenge his own death.
  • Mona is going to forge a love letter from Tsarina Alexandra.
  • Ava is just going to kill.
  Ava: Rory, you want in?
  Rory: *grunts affirmatively*
• When Nate's interviewing Rasputin:
  Rasputin: You know, your aura is quite strong.
  Nate: I get that a lot. I rotate hair products.
• As the Legends' plans crash into each other, Ava tries calling Rory for back-up. Rory is distracted because he's busy critiquing the love letter Mona wrote.
• Rasputin offers to hypnotize Nate to bring out his lost memories. While Ava is trying to remind him what a terrible idea that is, he says yes.
• When Rasputin sends the Legends a video of his evil plan ("Did we leave the camera guy in imperialist Russia?"), his initial Evil Laugh is terrible. One of his guards suggests trying again.
• When he invites the imperial family over for dinner, Rasputin acts like a perfect host nervous that they won't have a good time. Despite planning to assassinate them all.
  Rasputin: They are going to love the teacakes. I've laced them with cyanide.
• How do they ultimately kill the immortal Rasputin? Sara throws Ray (shrunk) down his throat, then orders him to expand. Cue Rasptuin exploding and Ray covered in gore and horrified.
  Nate: Kev, you got that right?
  Kev: [covered in gore, still holding the camera] ...yeah, I got that.
• The Legends decide they need to go back to secrecy so claim everything on their journeys is fake. This includes such Leaning on the Fourth Wall bits like "how can Rasputin be speaking English?" and "one cough and our modern germs would wipe out half the population." In other words, scores of the nitpicks many of the show's fans have had.
• When Mona asks how the Legends are going to fund themselves, Sara asks for Mick, who just plucks out a $50 million Faberge egg from his coat. "I steal things."
• Constantine barges onto the Waverider because he needs to go back to Hell and find out how Rasputin came back. He does this by drinking Rasputin's remains, much to Sara and Ava's horror.
  • Rasputin's remains are stored in several jars, and when Constantine starts his ritual he checks them like he's looking for specific bits to drink.

Episode 2: Miss Me, Kiss Me, Love Me

• The new opening with the credits looking like some cheesy early 1990s TV show.
• When John gets back from Hell, he immediately storms out of the room declaring that he needs a drink. The funny part is that Sara sees this declaration coming a mile away, and mouths the words along with him when his back is turned.
• When they hear about the Encores, the team briefly celebrates the fact that for once, a massive time-altering screwup isn't their fault.
• When Sara declares that they have to keep the Encores inprisoned on the ship, Ray grimaces at their jars of Rasputin bits and comments "We're gonna need a bigger pantry."
• After two seasons of her as this proud, strong heroine, seeing a Zari who's now a vapid social media influencer with a selfish attitude is hilarious.
  • Nate tells Behrad about the video recording that Zari 1.0 left. Behrad's response: "Are you having a psychological break?"
  • Nate, of course, can't grasp Zari doesn't grasp her entire history has changed and so Nate's attempts to win her over come off terribly.
• Sara, Ray, and Constantine find a pile of ash that they assume is what's left of a human. John tests the remains out by tasting some of them, to Sara's disgust. It doesn't help that it hasn't been long since he drank bits of Rasputin in front of her in the previous episode.
• Constantine’s American accent makes a return. Ray’s reaction really sells it.
• Constantine introduces Sara as his "secretary." She reacts as you'd expect.
• Ray claiming that the new Chief Wiggum needs him to search Bugsy.
• While discussing the 'stolen' Air Totem at dinner, Mrs. Tarazi comments that it feels like the arfifact is "still with us, even in this very room." Cue Behrad, who is sitting literally right across the table from her, discreetly tugging on his shirtsleeve to cover said totem.
  • Behrad also fakes being choked up over the theft of the Totem, as if he wasn't a) the person who stole it in the first place, and b) wearing it on his wrist at that very moment.
• Feeling a little useless now that she isn't running the Time Bureau, Ava decides to be proactive by providing a distraction at Siegel's club with a striking big band version of "Poison" by Bell Biv Devoe...at least that's how it looks in her head. When Sara arrives, she finds her piss drunk on stage and singing so horribly it clears the entire club.
  Mick: Should we tell her the mission's over?
  Sara: Nah, let her finish.
  • One woman moans it's the worst thing she's seen "and I was there when the Hindenburg went down!"
  • Right before, when Sara radios her and Mick to tell them to create a distraction, Ava eagerly declares that she can do that and runs away from the bar where she and Mick were sitting - but not before throwing off her fur stole and placed on a confused Mick's head like a human coatrack.
  • When Bugsy shows up and insults Ava's performance, Sara stands up for her girlfriend.
    Sara: She is not humiliating herself!
    Mick: [filming Ava's performance on his phone] Yeah, she is.
    Sara: She's enjoying herself!
  • Later, a stumbling drunk Ava still thinks she was great and asking "anyone got it on video?" Rory is about to show it but Sara takes it away and clear she's never going to let Ava in on the truth.
• As Ray and John walk away from the burning wreckage of Jeannie’s car, we can see that Ray is still handcuffed to a steering wheel, and clearly just pried it from the vehicle.
  • “Forget it, Ray. It’s Burbank.”
• Bugsy is on the Waverider.
  Bugsy: Who are you people? Communists?
  Mick: Idiots.
• Zari freaking out on her "first" stop on the Waverider is terrific. Made even better by the cut to a drunk and passed-out Ava sleep-singing "That girl is poisooooon..." one last time in the middle of Zari's long scream for help.

Episode 3: Slay Anything

• John leaving before "you band of botherers can suck me into another world-saving singalong."
• Sara complains that Behrad tried to move one of Constantine's boxes of magic-related items and now "thinks he's being haunted by a forlorn mariner" with John saying "he is but never mind."
• "Where I'm going, I need to walk alone...with Gary."
• Nora is back and in full blue riding gear.
  Nora: It's the same thing every time. Kid gets a fairy godmother and what do they wish for? You get a pony! You get a pony! Everyone gets. A damn. Pony.
  Ray: Next time, maybe you should say "neigh."
  • Also the fact that no matter how she changes her clothing, Nora is always stuck in blue.
  • Ray talks a big romantic moment...and finds Nora is asleep.
• Zari: "If I had fond memories of this place, I'd require a lobotomy."
• Behrad attempts to wipe Zari's memories and get her off the ship shortly after she arrives. He does so by holding up the memory eraser and telling her to "Look over here!" with the air of someone telling a small child "Look, something shiny!" Zari immediately perks up, thinking it's a camera, and begins to pose for a picture. Despite the fact that she had just been threatening to tell their parents about his secret life, so why she thought his response would be to take a picture of her makes no sense.
• Sara hears a serial killer from 1989 is loose in 2004.
  Sara: And the scariest part of this mission is going back to the early 2000s.
• The return of Ava's serial killer, gushing over it and annoyed to realize none of the crew have been listening to her podcasts. Except for Nate who does for the briefing.
  Nate: And order one of these mattresses using promo code "LACERATION."
  • Just how Sara is equally disturbed and turned on by this.
• It's not until they get there that the team realizes this is Mick's old high school.
  Sara: This is why you come to team meetings!
  • His pathetic attempt at cover-up with the code name of..."Dick."
• Gary tries a teleportation spell to get to Constantine which ends up leaving him walking backward.
• The revelation Charlie has been posing as Constantine for some hookups at his run-down mansion.
• The group is sealed into the school.
  Mick: I always knew this place was a prison.
• This:
  Nora: Freddy! I...am...your fairy godmother. So...please don't kill me?
  • Freddy is quite skeptical of the idea that this woman who appeared in his bedroom in a sparkly dress is his fairy godmother. When he asks her to prove it, she responds with: "You really think I'd be wearing this if I really had the choice?"
  • When Freddy's mother knocks on the door, Nora scrambles to hide, like she's his secret girlfriend in a sitcom, or something.
• Nora's "oh, come on" expression when Freddy's second wish is for a pony.
• Having escaped the Waverider, Zari ends up sharing a limo with the 1989 kids...and assumes she got booked onto an Uber share-ride.
• While hanging out at the reunion after the mission is over, the Legends later realise that Mick is missing. Turns out he's making out with Ali, who feels something that gets her very excited (it's his gun, which she seems to like, as well).
  • The moment when the others realize he's missing. We see a montage of them hamming it up at the photo booth, only for Sara to suddenly cry "Wait! Where's Mick?" - complete with the background music coming to a halt when she says 'wait'.

Episode 4: A Head Of Her Time

• "Captain Pantsuit."
• Mick thinks he got an STD from Allie at the reunion but realizes it's just "a crush."
  Mick: Is that when you whiz and it hurts?
• Ava hangs out leis to the team for her lesson on ALOHA: "Assess, Listen, observe, hydrate, ATTACK."
• The first sign something is wrong is when Behrad talks about "Austrian toast."
• Ava's attempts at Sara's usual orders:
  Ava: Stop looking so Les Misérables because we are going to France!
• Zari's signature perfume, "Dragonesque" being what protects her and Ava from Marie's influence.
• Zari managing to sneak their way in off her social media persona as "an event is an event." And it works.
• Courtney Ford as Marie Antoinette, speaking in a ridiculously exaggerated French accent.
  • Also, the fact that Ray is the only person who seems to notice her being a dead-ringer for Nora.
  • He later shows a video link of Marie to Nora.
  Nora: Ray, I am looking at a gagged, decapitated woman. If that's what you think I look like, we have a lot of processing to do.
• Marie Antoinette cutting cakes using a guillotine.
• The realization that unlike all the other Encores, Marie could care less about revenge on her enemies or re-conquering France and just wants to enjoy a lifetime of parties. You can just imagine Astra moaning "why did I waste time bringing this bimbo back?!"
• Zari's Black Comedy reaction to folks literally partying themselves to death.
  Zari: This is why I don't eat carbs.
• "Yas, queen" said to Marie Antoinette.
• Ava trying to fight some mooks and moaning "corsets are so impractical!"
• When the Legends run back to the Waverider, Marie Antoinette ends up accidentally beheaded by a pillar. Her head then lands on Nate's hands, screaming all the way.
• The Legends bring both Marie Antoinette's head and headless body aboard the Waverider. Later, when Zari is about to steal her perfume, she runs past her headless body, who struggles to break free from her confinement in a gurney.
• Some of the things that Marie Antoinette's head says are downright hilarious, especially when Nate tries to pick up her head
  Marie: Ah go away! Don't you touch me or I will bite your fingers! *Bites* You see?
• And when Marie's body does get loose, Ray and Mick's attempts to contain her lead to her getting ahold of the Heat Gun. Cue sequence of the pair being chased by a headless body that's randomly setting things on fire as it attempts to hit them.
• Zari's fashion advice.
  Zari: Cowls are for middle-aged women who want to hide their necks.
• It's more Black Comedy but it's notable how Zari, who escaped a horrible dystopian future, now thinks the worst possible fate for her is losing all her followers thanks to her bad perfume.
• While Zari is feeling down in the dumps over messing up, Behrad offers her a donut. As they leave the room, where Marie is now being held, she calls after them:
  Marie: "Ah, what is this 'donut'?"
  Behrad and Zari: (in unison) "Shut up, Marie."

Episode 5: Mortal Khanbat

• Despite having terminal lung cancer, Constantine still tries to smoke seeing that there is no point in quitting now. The scene cuts the moment he lights up his cigarette, however.
• Ava tells the gang that they may be worried about John but still need to protect the timeline. "Does Marie Kondo rest just because she runs an empire?" Zari and Charlie nod while the guys clearly have no idea who Marie Kondo is.
• Ava makes a big show of a new way to find Encores she calls the "Prognosticator". Everyone is bored. Nate then pulls out a scooter he calls his "Scoots McGoots" which everyone treats like the coolest thing ever. To Ava's chagrin.
• For some reason, Constantine's bulldog-shaped cane suddenly talks to him after he lashed out at Gary and Ray and proceeds to give him a sarcastic pep talk.
• Nora tries to get a little girl to wish Constantine cancer-free. She begs it off but he threatens her so she screams on "I wish your scary British friend wasn't sick!"
• It turns out Charlie and Behrad had a fling.
  Nate: How was it, she shape-shift?
  Behrad: Really? That's what you want to talk about?
  Nate: 100 percent but we don't have to.
  • And the gangster they're holding prisoner contributes his opinion, suggesting that maybe Charlie's reason for leaving without telling him (which he's been bummed about all episode) had nothing to do with him.
  • Nate adding how "dude, you're a catch! If there was a female version of you, I'd be all over her!"
  Behrad: (sounding disturbed) ...like my sister?
  Nate: Absolutely!
• Charlie's double-take at running into Marie Antoinette, who's still a prisoner on the ship.
  Charlie: Who the hell are you?
  Marie: The last queen of France!
  Charlie: And I thought this ship couldn't get anymore barmy...
  • And shortly thereafter, when Behrad confronts Charlie about why she left without saying goodbye, Marie is still in the background, munching on a piece of cake and gasping in reaction to Charlie calling sex with him "mediorccre". She even tries to reassure Behrad after Charlie leaves.
  Marie: Mediocre is not so bad.
• Ghenghis Khan trying to conquer Hong Kong with an army of motor scooters. Throughout the scene, the scooters are treated as if they were motorcycles or (as appropriate of Genghis Khan) war horses.
  • Upon finding the containers for the scooters, Nate reacts the way a geek would do.
  Nate: KHAAAAAN!
• After it's revealed Charlie took Prince Charles' place, the scene suddenly cuts to the real Charles sitting awkwardly in Mick's room on the Waverider.
• Sara stumbling in at the end, asking "what is with these damn scooters?" and asking what happened with everyone talking at once.
• Gary breaking out in sobs when he learns he'll be inheriting John's house.
• Ray reveals he's going to propose to Nora.
  Gary: Can I be your flower boy?
  Ray: Oh, that's sweet, Gary. Odd, but sweet.
• After his resurrection, Constantine celebrates it by running around the room while happily retracting any kind words and last will he gave to Gary and Ray before his death. It's jarring to see the normally aloof and standoffish John Constantine expressing his joy like a maniac, and is also heartwarming because he ends this by planting Gary (who spent the entire episode in hysterics at his mentor's health) a kiss on the lips.

Episode 6: Mr. Parker's Cul-De-Sac

• Sara does her usual over-the-top intro to a mission...only to find half the team isn't there.
• After almost 5 seasons, the show finally tackled the Chained to a Railway trope...with Gary.
• Damien explaining his return as "part of some soul-harvesting pyramid scheme. Honestly, I can't keep up with these Snake People and their newfangled plans for world domination."
• As if it wasn’t bad enough it caused anyone who used it to lose their sense of smell, Zari mentions how her perfume also caused nosebleeds.
• When watching over Peppa in the Waverider, Ray decides to entertain her with tapes of "Mr. Parker's Cul-De-Sac". When she's not impressed, Ray tells her to give it a chance...before outright bribing her with $20.
• When Zari decides to use the meta-data of the troll's comment to find their location, Mick is taken aback slightly:
  Mick: You hack?
  Zari: No.
• It's plain to see that Zari and Mick's plan to deal with the person slamming his latest book borrowed a bit too much from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, as Mick has prepared a speech to slam the troll in question...only for it to swiftly fall apart when the pimple-faced man Mick expected is in reality a clean-faced girl.
• Mick's reaction to learning that, due to hooking up with Allie back in 2004, he now has a daughter...is to pass out on their porch. And Zari records the whole thing.
• A Maintain the Lie that could only work on this show as Nora tries to convince her dad she's a dark sorceress complete with passing off Sara and Ava as her "henchpeople."
• To try and prevent Constantine from reassembling the Loom, Charlie (assuming Nate's form) tricks him into planning a journey to the South Pole. And it's only via a chance meeting with the real Nate, as he is fully kitted out in snow gear, that John realized he's been had.
  Nate: Where you goin', Captain Cold?
• When Constantine and Damien face off (with Damien admitting that he never actually met John before), Nora quickly defuses the situation (made briefly worse with Constantine revealing they are in his house, not Nora's)...by claiming John's her fiancé.
  • When they fight again later, Damien telekinetically tosses John aside while shouting "Brexit!"met
• Ray remembering too late that he put his ring on the mousse...which, since it was also the one Gary used for the depowering potion, went to Damien.
• "Do you need to change your shoes?"
• Lita holds nothing back as she tells Mick to his face that his books are crap.
• The last episode of "Mr. Parker's Cul-De-Sac" that we are shown demonstrates some...less than kid-friendly behavior from Mr. Parker.
  Mr. Parker: (lounging on a couch; singing) It's after five, (grabs a beer) and I could use a Cold One! (pops can open)
  Behrad: Is Mr. Parker getting tipsy?
  Nate: I mean, the guy's done 4,000 hours of children's television, he's earned it.
  • And apparently, Nate and Behrad were so enraptured in the show, they needed Charlie to point out they were ignoring the Encore Alarm.
• The climax of the episode is centered around Peppa, fed up with everyone's problems, wishing for them to be in an episode of the titular show. Highlights include:
  • Ray as Mr. Parker, trying to get Damien and Nora to talk about their problems, only for them to bicker like it's a talk show.
  • A journey into the Land of Make-Em-Ups with Gary, "the Unspeakable Train Abomination".
  • Constantine being borderline offended with the return of puppets (this time, Puppet Sara and Puppet Ava).
  • The conflict between Puppet Sara and Puppet Ava ending with Puppet Sara deciding to decline the job offer in Puppet Star City...rather uniquely for what is ostensibly a children's show:
  Puppet Sara: Then I'll tell Puppet Wild Dog to shove it!
  (Puppet Sara and Ava cheer)
  • Ray shows up with the "Safe-Space Sombrero", which only lets the person holding it speak. And forces Damien to spout gibberish when he tries to object without holding it.
  • Nate as the sun a la Teletubbies.
  • Peppa coming to the conclusion that, as bad as her own parents were, the Legends are outright deranged.

Episode 7: Romeo V Juliet: Dawn Of Justness

• The reminder that the Waverider has one bathroom...which Zari is hogging.
  • When Behrad complains, Zari fires back "don't pretend you don't take this long with your hair!"
  • Also, when Ray asks about his "sign-up sheet", he's informed Mick burned it in frustration the last time Zari hogged the bathroom.
• The Girls' Night on the Waverider turns into a party from using scooters down the halls to Nora being given a pony to wild partying and even a male stripper.
  • Said stripper gets multiple lines, weighing in on the mission and telling the team about alerts showing up in the timeline.
• Legends. Tavern. You know what comes next...
• During the Bar Brawl, Ray fumbles his suit causing it to grow and go on a rampage without him inside. Ray tries to disable the suit by voice-activation, but fails because he was slurring and couldn't string the words fast enough. Eventually they get to shut it back down...but not before headbutting a patron in the family jewels.
• After said brawl, Nate tries to mind-wipe Shakespeare...but as they're all drunk, he accidentally wipes the gang because he's holding the neuralyzer backwards.
• The fact that the team has to go fix history when half of them are completely drunk.
• Nate and the group.
  Nate: Hear ye, hear ye! Okay, so there's been a change of plans: You guys have been replaced by Riverdale.

Episode 8: Zari, Not Zari

• Zari wakes up in Nate's bed.
  Nate: Are we screaming because this is weird or because it's awesome?
  • Gideon explains she tried to wake a sleepwalking Zari but "you assaulted my mainframe while yelling 'Snooze'."
  • And Zari is annoyed Nate's sheets are "200 thread count."
  Charlie: It's not a walk of shame if you enjoyed it. Although, if you're walking at all, you didn't enjoy it enough.
• Mick's attempts to bond with his daughter include showing up at various periods to give her gifts like a teddy bear...whose head she rips off. "Parenting sucks!"
• The revelation Sara is a huge fan of Supernatural so overjoyed they find themselves where the show is filming.
  Sara: Dean is my hall pass!
  • Constantine, a man who has literally been to Hell, is freaked out at the fake corpse in the trunk of "Baby."
• The entire montage of Mick popping into various moments in his daughter's life.
  • Him at Halloween with her dressed up like Captain Cold.
  • Using his heat gun to set her volcano model on fire.
  • Him having a gun on the back of her prom date...who then takes off running as soon as Ava snaps a photo of them.
• Behrad calling Ava.
  Behrad: There is a very slinky lady in a red pantsuit on the ship. Which normally I would be very into except she's giving off an "I want to kill you in the worst possible way" vibe.

Episode 9: The Great British Fake Off

• The opening of Charlie in ancient Egypt...interrupted like a video with Nate asking if she looked different and Charlie replying it's easier to just imagine her looking as she does now.
• Zari calls The New York Times "a sort of an app that tells you the news."
• Zari to Constantine: "What do you do besides wear the same outfit every day and screw up spells?"
• Ava says she needs backup for the trip to Hell, Nate starting to talk about exercising only to find Ava meant Mick.
  Charlie: I thought you were hanging out with your kid.
  Mick: She told me to go to Hell. Where are we headed?
• Gary moaning on being in Hell ("I should have worn shoulder pads to blend in") and asking if they're just going to grab some random demon on the streets to find Astra. Guess what Mick does.
• The sight of Henry VIII, Brutus, Black Caesar and Bonnie and Clyde bitching over dinner on who did more to deserve being sent to Hell (suffice to say, a couple of bank robbers hardly impress the former ruler of England and one of history's greatest traitors).

Episode 10: Ship Broken

• Gary managing to out-Gary himself by bringing back a dog. From Hell. And not just any Hell Hound. The Son Of Sam's dog.
  • When he first brings the dog onboard, he says he has a note from his therapist; Ava says that There Are No Therapists, to which Gary responds that there should be. Which pops up again later, when Ava is explaining the dog's presence to Sara.
  Ava: He had a note.
  Sara: Ava, that's not a thing!
  • Later, when they defeat the hellhound, he shows up with another pet. This time it's a sweet, adorable little rabbit...purchased from a mysterious carny who warns him not to feed it after midnight. Ava delivers a rare live-action Twitchy Eye.
• Mick's explanation for not keeping his stolen money in a bank? "Too easy to rob."
• Mick trying to get his daughter to open her door. I understand being mad at your parents, I lit mine on fire.
• To explain why he feels she shouldn't use the timestream to get rich, Mick reads his daughter a heartfelt letter he wrote explaining how crime has ruined his life. She stops him when it almost instantly devolves into rambling insults about the Flash.
• Once Marchosias reveals himself, the present Legends quickly jump into the dais with Astra. Half a dozen people crammed together like sardines.
  • Later, Astra frees herself, but keeps the others trapped inside, while also reducing the dais barrier's radius, squeezing them even further.

Episode 11: Freaks And Greeks

• The team brings up the "Philosopher's Stone."
  Charlie: Please, that thing's as real as Santa.
  Nate: Shhh, Gary's in the room.
  Gary: Wait, what?
  • Yes, Gary still believes in Santa Claus.
• Lita tries to pass off Iron Heights as "a super-prestigious art school."
• Ava in a moose mascot outfit.
• As befitting the God of wine and revelry, Dionysus fits in perfectly in college, a total frat dude bro in the process.
• To prove their sorority is real the Legends create a bunch of tacky paper signs and hang them around Constantine's house.
• When Charlie and Astra nearly come to blows, Sara, who grabbed Astra by the arm while restraining her, predicts that Astra was, in fact, going to go for the kill, and advises Zari to hide the fork she's eating with. Zari does so by dropping it down her own shirt.
• Zari invites would-be influencer Lisa to join the sorority by a long text conversation...while they're sitting literally five feet away from each other.
  • And one of the memes used is Beebo making a "come with me" hand motion. Which was actually the clip of the Legends' Beebo avatar in the Season 3 finale, taunting Mallus.
• Nate insisting on taking a paddling on his backside ignoring the brothers saying "It's 2020, we don't do that anymore!"
• Sara training the newbie sisters in knife throwing... while blind.
• How does Mick handle the college looking down at his daughter? He goes back in time, makes a huge donation and suddenly, one of the buildings on campus is named "Rory Hall."
• After kicking DXS out of the Chug Challenge, Dionysus leads a group of frat boys down the street chanting "Whim-sy! Whim-sy! Whim-sy!"

Episode 12: I Am Legends

• The gang have to get to London by waiting for a bus.
  • Zari has no idea if it's miles or kilometers to London.
  • Constantine admits he's never needed a car as he just bums rides off people.
  • The driver won't let them on without paying so Mick throws him off to the good old Wilhelm Scream.
• Gary in a "Die Hard" on an X situation trying to save the Waverider.
• Aside from bringing back her mother, Astra also wants prunes eliminated and "dogs should stay puppies forever."
• Sara tells Ava not to tell Mick he's driving on the wrong side of the road as "it'll just confuse him more."
• Gideon hopping like a bunny for...some reason.
• Gary's attempt at a "theme song" for a "spin-off" of him and Gideon.
• Some soldiers mistake the Legends for zombies. When they see that Ava (currently immortal) can survive being shot in the head, they conclude that the Legends are a new breed of zombies that are immune to headshots. And when Mick points out that, unlike zombies, they can talk? "The super-zombies have become sentient!"
• Ava jumping out of a moving truck holding her nose like she's hopping into a pool.
• Black Comedy as, throughout the episode, Britain is reduced to ruin and chaos by the Zombie Apocalypse, and the Legends seem blithely unconcerned.
• When they're about to be approached by some soldiers, Ava advises the group to act "as un-zombie-like as possible."
  Nate: Maybe Mick should stand in the back.

Episode 13: The One Where We're Trapped on TV

• Original!Zari seeing herself in the mirror wearing a dress with a lot more cleavage than she's used to:
  "Whoa. A lot going on here."
• Original!Zari sizing up the situtation:
  Zari: I think you guys fought the Fates...
  Nate, Behrad and Zari's boss: FATES BE PRAISED!
  Zari: ...and you lost.
• Star Trip, a Star Trek parody with Sara and Ava as Kirk and Spock, both of whom instantly work out what's going on, because it's just like the ridiculous sci-fi plots they're used to dealing with.
  • Caity Lotz's William Shatner impression is utterly priceless.
• Mick is absent for most of the episode. He finally appears as the Khan expy on Star Trip. Complete with the hair, which he enjoys playing with and is actually resentful to see go.
• Meanwhile John and Astra are trapped in Highcastle Abbey, a parody of Downton Abbey. Seeing Constantine as a clean-shaven, overly posh butler with an RP accent is hilariously off-putting, even before it's revealed that his character still has dark magic abilities which he mainly uses to keep people away from the cooking.
• Behrad summing up "a diva is a female hustler."
• In the middle of publicly denouncing the Fates for controlling everyone's lives and forcing them to eat mush, Nate feels the need to state, "I happen to like mush, but that's not the point!"
• Gary as the proverbial sandwich-board wearing loony.
  Gary: The world is wrong! Can't you people see? None of this is how it should be! (sees Mona) Do I know you? You look familiar. Do you recognize me? My name is Gary but most people call me Crazy Guy.
  Mona: Stay away from me, you weirdo!
  Gary: Yeah, they call me that too.

Episode 14: Swan Thong

• The Fates' museum demonizing the history of free will includes tyrants and serial killers, but also such things as shake weights, glitter, and the Thong Song. Ava, who has never heard of the latter, upon reading the lyrics agrees with it being on the list.
  • During the fight with the Encores at the climax, Nate (who had been established as a fan of the song) petulantly turns on the music. When the power is cut during the fight, Ava is very relieved.
• While infiltrating the Fates' museum, New Zari and Constantine start making out, but forget to turn off their comms first, much to the discomfort of Original Zari and Behrad.
• Marie Antoinette returns as one of the Encores during the climax, and naturally, her head gets knocked off during the fight.
  Marie: (annoyed sigh) Not again...
• At the end of the episode, the team goes to the 70s so Charlie can perform with The Smell, who are Back from the Dead.
  Behrad: Weren't they dead?
  Nate: I mean, who hasn't died?
  • What song do Charlie and The Smell perform? A punk version of the theme of Mr. Parker's Cul-de-sac.

Season 6

Episode 1: Ground Control To Sara Lance

• Mick walking through a Waverrider completely trashed with graffiti and passed out punks, with him nonchalantly mind-wiping one who wakes up as he makes himself breakfast.
  • Mick dismisses the drunk hunched over the toilet as another tresspasser, only for her to wake up: it's Ava.
• Finding John and Zari in bed together, Ava is grabbing a bucket to vomit in and assures them she's just hungover and "not judging."
• Behrad is shown going on a philosophical spiel, and we are briefly led to believe it's Nate...when it's actually just a Beefeater, who of course ignores everything he said.
• Nate pouring out his heart on Zari to...David Bowie. Who's then inspired by the tale to write "Space Oddity."
• Behrad's attempt at a British accent.
• Confirming a hilarious fan theory about the Season 5 finale: the Legends are so drunk that they never even realized that Sara was missing, let alone kidnapped by aliens.
• Ava hands out binders with a careful coordinated plan to get Sara back. When one by one they leave, we see her real plan: 1. Hand out binders. (John calls this a waste of time and leaves) 2. Let John use magic. (Zari goes to help John) 3. Let any romances run their course. (Astra says she's not helping) 4. What is Astra's deal? (Behrad goes to get high) 5. Even bad leads may prove fruitful (Mick declares this won't work without Sara) 6. Let Rory drink until he cooperates.
  Nate: [Reading the real plan over Ava's shoulder] You've really got this team figured out!
• After John tells Astra and Zari he's nothing he can do and stalks away:
  Astra: [Irritated] What an ass!
  Zari: [ Eyes John's behind as he walks away] Yes, he does have that going for him.
• Sara's reaction to Spartacus saying he'd "avenge your death" at an alien's hands is to knock him off his feet.
  Sara: Being an Avenger is stupid.
• The fact that the reveal he's been an alien all along explains everything about Gary.
• Sara needs info.
  Sara: Tell me everything about this ship.
  Gary: Well, when you first met, you butted heads but everyone could tell you meant a lot to each other...
  Sara: This spaceship, Gary!

Episode 2: Meat: The Legends

• The first thing Mick does upon seeing the alien on the Waverider's windshield? Hit the wipers.
• Zari calls Gideon "Gidget".
• Zari 1.0 finally gets fed up with the Sibling Rivalry between her Alternate Self and Behrad and creates a second Air Totem just to finally shut them up.
  • Behrad and Zari 2.0 immediately decide that they somehow did it themselves.
  Behrad: Woah, it split in two.
  Zari: We're, like, really good at sharing.
• The amazement of the others to how Behrad takes burger cooking more seriously than anything.

Episode 3: The Ex-Factor

• When Behrad arrives at John's with Zari's emergency phone, he has his eyes covered, clearly worried he's about to walk in on John and his sister having sex.
• The Running Gag of people assuming Zari has been on a "yoga retreat" which is code for rehab.
• By 2045, Dwayne Johnson has been President of the United States.
• The "WTF" faces of the gang when Lord Knoxacrillion breaks into a beautiful power ballad.
• The revelation the entire time Lord Knoxacrillion has been a very tiny alien inside a huge armor suit.
  • And then Mick steps on him without even realizing it.

Episode 4: Bay of Squids

• The fact Zari thinks she looks completely different without makeup.
• The team's bafflement at Mick looking cleaned up and using words like "ousted."
• A Leaning on the Fourth Wall moment:
  Spooner: Okay, hold up, I thought this was a time machine. Why not bring us back an hour earlier? That way, y'all can change out of your pj's.
  Zari: Oh, girl, we don't ask those questions.
• The situation at the White House being resolved with the nuclear football being used as an actual football as President Kennedy tries to get it back from General Kilgore.
• General Kilgore shooting at the missile, which lands right on top of him and kills him.
• Nate's fanboy glee at being able to hug the Kennedy brothers after they all survive the Soviet missile.
• To distract from the alien autopsy, Ava slices a hose of gas which leads to everyone getting high and her babbling about being a clone from the future. And somehow, still keeping to her fake Russian accent during it all.
• Behrad passes himself off as Che Guevara's cousin, Jay, to Castro...and it works.
  • And then they bond like frat guys while getting high.
• Zari and Nate looking annoyed, and Nate sarcastically thanking Mick for keeping them from being nuked, after they had to spend the episode trying to prevent nuclear war while the rest of the team kept making the situation worse. And then weren't even able to get back to the ship because Ava let Mick take it.
• Mick's reaction when Kayla uses a ring to transform into a knockout leather-clad woman who asks if there's "anything stronger" than beer on board.

Episode 5: The Satanist's Apprentice

• It turns out that Constantine doesn't have a washing machine as his clothes are enchanted to always clean themselves.
• Astra tries to explain records say she's only 15 because she spent her adolescence in Hell. It goes as expected.
• Zari was less upset that she's been transformed into a talking phone, and more about being a flip phone.
• During the first fight between the Legends and Crowley:
  • Binder Ava fires her papers with the "Pew Pew Pew~" sound effects.
  • Candlestick Behrad gives Crowley a Rump Roast.
• The entire climax is a musical, because the spell Natalie invented to use against Constantine is also a lullaby. The way the Legends help put Crowley to sleep is full of hilarious Freeze-Frame Bonus: Nate rolls on his back like a massager, Spooner combs his hair, Zari reads him a bedtime story from Ava (who transformed into a storybook), etc.
• At the end, when they get turned back to normal, Spooner wonders out loud why she was turned into a fork. The others don't have the heart to give her an answer.

Episode 6: Bishop's Gambit

• Bishop openly sings that Sara will never guess "In a million years" how he survived. He's put out when Sara instantly states he's a clone.
• Mick and Kayla's banter is terrific.
  • Mick claiming Kayla can drink more with eight tentacles as she smirks "you're just a lightweight.
  • Her annoyance when the Waverider flies off as "I was going to steal that."
• The Legends crashing with John is a joy.
  • He tries to open a cabinet and nearly hit by darts from Spooner's traps.
  • Behrad orders a dozen pizzas and subjects the delivery man to his "philosophy."
  • Ava manages to get Gideon on John's 1970s TV set so she speaks like Max Headroom with old dial-up noises.
• No longer having to pretend being human means Gary now do things like...get intel by swimming through pipes and coming up out of the toilet.
  • A clone snapping Gary is "the idiot who ate D Squad!"
  Gary: I have regrets about that.
  • He later apologizes "no matter how delicious they were."

Episode 7: Back to the Finale: Part II

• Nate getting worried when he finds Behrad's "thinking weed."
• The revelation the reason Ava was so hung over in the premiere was that she got herself blackout drunk to forget meeting the future versions of the Legends.
• Zari is convinced the aliens will see through the fake Sara as "her hair is trag."
• The One-Scene Wonder that is Nate from a possible Bad Future with long hair, an Eyepatch of Power (making him look like Snake Plissken) and Constantine's clothes.
• Past!Sara notes Ava "is perfect just the way she is". Cut to Ava's horrible drunk dancing.
• Characters continuing to be blasé about Sara dying and being brought back to life:
  [about Sara's in-progress fully human clone]
  Sara: I died.
  Mick: Again?

Episode 8: Stressed Western

• Astra summing up how she knows some of the town residents from Hell.
• The utterly baffled looks of the team when what looks like the setup for a Bar Brawl leads to the realization of how nice this town is.
  Ava: Is...that a swear jar?
  Astra: Is this root beer?
  • Sara's reaction to the friendly song "I've seen weird before but this is weird."
• The gang try to figure out why the town is so weird.
  Behrad: It must be the alien. Or gentrification. Either way, we should stop it.
• The Legends at a square dance. That is all.
• It looks like that singing cowboy narrator is doing a closing song montage moving around the Waverider...and then it turns out he's really there with Ava moaning "guys, we can't keep him!"

Episode 9: This Is Gus

• The fact that Behrad thinks it's completely logical the gang somehow brought him to his favorite sitcom as a surprise birthday present. And then when they realize they forgot his birthday, they have to Maintain the Lie rather than a straight-up rescue.
• The effects of the alien changing time begin turning Behrad into a more serious and suave figure.
  • It starts with him coming onto the bridge with much better hair.
  Zari: I knew you had "leading man" hair in you. All Tarazis have the gene.
  • Sara tries to get back on track with the mission only to admit "it really is mesmerizing."
  • Behard literally spits out his coffee when he realizes it's from a Wharton cup which his parents believe he attended.
• Of course Ava insists on making every edge of a wrapped present perfect.
• Lita says her dad is coming around to her being pregnant, even insisting on knowing all about her boyfriend, where he lives, his schedule...and Sara sums up how Mick's going to kill the guy.
• This week's exciting action sequence is...a chase on carts across a studio backlot.
• Like the others, Zari 1.0 takes the revelation of Gary being an alien with "yep, that explains a lot."

Episode 10: Bad Blood

• Zari sums up the post-title credits scene.
  Zari: A superhero, a totem-bearer and an alien named Gary become singing nannies. Did I just invent our own spin-off?

Episode 11: The Final Frame

• Mick's bowling where he manages to toss the ball about two lanes over into the gutter.
• "Is it me or does that cloud look like Mick?"

Episode 12: Bored On Board Onboard

• Ava being Genre Savvy by saying if they invite Barry Allen, the wedding turns into a huge mess.
• Ava is turned on by Sara's ridiculous French accent.
• Sara wonders if they're turning into their game characters.
  Spooner: (dressed as a hunter) I feel like shooting something, but that's normal.
  Astra: (as a witch)' Yeah, I wouldn't be able to tell either.
  Zahri: "Prima donna..." Oh, I do feel extra dramatic and quite squeamish.
• Since she was the first to "die" and didn't know the kind of horrors the others experienced, Ava really wants to replay the game. Everyone has a Big "NO!" and fortunately convince her otherwise.

Episode 14: There Will be Brood

• How do the Legends trick Kayla into coming over? By posting a pic of Mick holding a bowl of fruit on the intergalactic version of Facebook.

Season 7

Episode 1: The Bullet Blondes

• The subversion of Cliffhanger Copout as the gang's plan to use the portal to storm that other ship ends...because their "watch" is out of juice.
• Ava invokes "Rule 44" for the Legends to hide in plain sight as...a circus.
  Zari: That seems oddly specific.
• Ava is annoyed she "looks like a grandmother" in her dress.
• The gang get the safe only to find the Time Courier is missing. The culprit? Mick, of course, who took it for a beer run.
• How does Ava handle accidentally killing J. Edgar Hoover? Have Gary eat the body.
• The fact that, as soon as Mick gets Put on a Bus, the team has to go on a crime spree.

Episode 2: The Need For Speed

• Handcuffed to Nate as part of the scheme, Ava notes "My safe word is core competency."
• When Astra accidentally turns Gideon human while trying to fix the Waverider, Gloria declares that Astra is now a mother.
• Gloria (who lives in 1925) is told that Gideon is a computer, but doesn’t know what it means and spends the rest of her screen time in the episode visibly trying and failing to figure it out from context.

Episode 4: Speakeasy Does It

• The Legends are nearly broke because of Gary forgetting that in 1925, tipping $20 is like giving away a few hundred bucks.
• Astra warning an agent that "where I'm from" (meaning Hell), guys like him are "a dime a dozen" and she personally learned from Phil Spector.
• Sara and Ava finish their dance routine with a kiss, which silences the crowd. Ava clarifies, "We're not sisters" and everyone cheers.

Episode 5: It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Scientist

• Zari putting the Hoover-bot on mute.
• The Running Gag of the Legends comparing Gwyn Davies to other other past members...except John.
• Spooner curses up at the sky and Gideon wonders who she's talking to and calls out with a wave.

Episode 6: Deus Ex Latrina

• The end of the episode. The Legends fix their time machine, while Bishop catapulted himself out of the Waverider on a toilet seat. Before they could blink right out of there, they realize that the toilet is going to land right on top of them, and they all cry "Oh, Crap!!".

Episode 7: A Woman's Place is in the War Effort

• Zari finally points out that Dr. Davies resembles her ex-boyfried...and Nate and Behrad still don't buy it.
• After Gideon is given a neural device to try on, her thoughts reveal a lot of things...about Gary and his butt. Gideon removes the device in embarassment when she mentions that there's a good reason why people like to keep some secrets.
• When Zari II gushes "I missed you," Behrad is happy...and then Nate points out Zari was talking to her phone.
• Nate put out Zari mentions a few of her centuries old ancestors aren't happy about him moving in.
• Somehow, Ava manages to replicate the classic conveyor belt scene from I Love Lucy down to stuffing the parts into her mouth.

Episode 8: Paranoid Android

• Evil!Gideon's Legends are all Stupid Evil knockoffs of the real Legends, including a cannibalistic Gary, a super-jingoistic Nate, and bloodthirsty Spooner and Behrad, who spends much of the episode vowing to avenge the deaths of Zari and Astra...who aren't actually dead.

Episode 9: Lowest Common Demoninator

• The horrified reaction of the team to finding Gideon and Gary in bed. Sara makes an uncharacteristical scream.
• The team gets stuck on a reality show from Hell. Worse, they are manipulated into becoming reality-TV stereotypes.
• We find out that Zari and Behrad used to be on a reality-TV show called "Keeping Up with the Tarazis". Behrad ended up being recast on the show because the audience found him to be a downer.
• Nate gradually morphs into a stereotypical "Guido" a la Jersey Shore.
• Spooner spends most of the episode stark naked, convinced that there is some sort of competition and thus she needs to "psyche out" the others. Even after the reality show spell is broken, she's in no rush to get dressed as she finds she kind of enjoys it.
• This being a reality show that's being shown in Hell, Gwyn's constant prayers for deliverance are bleeped out.

Episode 10: The Fixed Point

• The mocking of Nate's terrible art skills, confusing the archduke's car, the assassin throwing a grenade, the explosion and an open field to a hippopotamus, a balloon salesman, lettuce and a swimming pool, respectively.
• The montage of Sara, who keeps failing to prevent the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand. It's like straight out of a Laurel and Hardy skit.

Episode 11: Rage Against the Machines

• The confrontation between Sara and Robo!Nate, with Sara throwing the first punch and hurting herself more than Nate's doppelganger. Sara must have knocked something loose in Robo!Nate's head because he suddenly starts speaking like he's trying to impersonate Arnold Schwarzenegger. Emphasis on the try.
• After Nate reactivates Robo!Nate, the latter once again starts talking like the Terminator as they argue over who gets Thawne's time bracelet.
  Robo!Nate: (in a faux-Arnold Schwarzenegger accent) What happened?! I thought I killed all you garbage people. [...] Well, we can protect that fixed point way better than you idiots! [...] HA-HA!! Looks like I'm guarding the fixed point now, you beautiful idiot! HA-Ha-ha... (time bracelet times out and sends Robo!Nate to the fixed point) NYEEEAAAAAAAARRRGHHHH!!!

Gag Reels

• Season 1:
  • The "Opening Credits" of the gag reel features an And Starring moment: "With Casper Crump as the villain. And sometimes Falk Hentschel,"
  • The AI on Victor Garber's phone interrupting a take.
  • The tempura zone.
  • Arthur Darvill accidentally breaking the bottom part of his cell and crawling out through the resulting gap.
  • Caity Lotz's horse misbehaving mid-take.
  • Yet another take being ruined, this time by a nearby ship's horn going off very loudly. ("What's that, professor?!")
  • "Don't play with the door, Doctor Palmer!"
  • Casper Crump "sneaking up on" some of the Legends with a gun, looking like an Elmer Fudd parody, then pretending to open fire on them. Followed by Wentworth Miller jerking around in a cartoony manner like he's being hit.
  • It all closes with a random guy in a panda suit crashing a take.
    Graeme McComb: Either you tell me what's going on, or-
    Panda: [Bounces on set behind McComb]
    Victor Garber: I wish I knew.
    McComb: [Turns around, sees Panda, turns back to Garber] That's good weed, right?
    Panda: YEAAAAH!
• Season 2:
  • Maisie Richardson-Sellars getting taken out by a CGI T-Rex's tail.
  • Franz Drameh tripping over a zombie.
  • Arthur Darvil once again accidentally breaking out of his cell.
  • An off-camera crew member attempting to imitate the ominous growling of Black Flash for the sake of a cue. The result is anything but ominous.
    Neal McDonough: I'm sorry. Did someone squeeze a ferret to death right there? What was that?
• Season 3:
  • This line flub from Courtney Ford:
    "Mallus wishes for his- f***ing balls!"
  • Jes Macallan saying sound effects out loud.
  • Takes being ruined by planes. And trains.
  • Jes doing a take wearing a T-Rex costume hat, for whatever reason (bonus points to Caity Lotz for keeping a straight face throughout).

Meta

• Since Arthur Darvill is once again in a show about time travel, many people were quick to make comparisons to Doctor Who. Radio Times was quick to make a list of the best comments.
• Even the show's crew got in on it when they created a makeshift Dalek. A Swedish Dalek.
• Watching Wentworth Miller and Dominic Purcell breaking out of a jail once more.
• Franz gets Victor Garber to do the Dragonball Z Fusion Dance pose with him. Victor clearly has no idea what is going on.
• Ciara Renée's whole Hawkward hashtag on her twitter whenever she makes a silly mistake or does something dumb.
• Caity Lotz asks Arrowverse cast members which Legend is their favorite, but doesn't get exactly the answers she's looking for.
  • From the same video, Nick Zano walks in and Emily Bett Rickards asks "Who the fuck is this?"
  • When asked who's his favorite legend, David Ramsey responds "Ray Palmer, but you both have really nice butts."
• Caity Lotz's video on Twitter where she's interrupted by two "fangirls".
• Videos posted on Caity Lotz's Instagram during shooting actually revealed the scene where Nate, Zari, Ray, and Mick were hallucinating thanks to the unicorn's sparkle sauce but everyone thought it was just the cast messing around.
• At SDCC 2017, Nick Zano and Dominic Purcell got distracted in the middle of the panel and started talking about how attractive Franz was.
• Phil Klemmer revealing that Dominic Purcell wasn't told about the singing scene in Hey World until right before it was filmed.
  • Another for Purcell. According to some reporters during the press tour for the first season he kept calling the show Legends of the Fall by accident.