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Café René Residents

    René Artois 

René François "Nighthawk" Artois

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/rene.jpg

Actor: Gorden Kaye. First appearance: "The British Are Coming".

The original owner of Café René. He is married but maintains simultaneous affairs with his waitresses. He is mostly interested in actually surviving World War II, hopefully with a beautiful woman at his side. But to do this René has to keep several different factions happy. This involves serving the local German authorities in their schemes, which gets more complicated when different members of said authorities conspire against each other. He has also been recruited to the pro-Charles de Gaulle Resistance under the codename Nighthawk, and constantly assigned with risky missions. He is at a later point recruited into the Communist Resistance.
  • Ash Face: Is left with one after he gets blown up by a car bomb in "Hitler's Last Heil".
  • As You Know: Would recap the previous episode's events at the start of each episodes to lampshade the absurd situations.
  • Attending Your Own Funeral: Attends his funeral in "The Funeral" as his own twin brother, also named René.
  • Attractive Bent-Gender: His cabaret dancer disguise in "Prisoners of War" manages to get some high ranking German's heads turning.
  • Backup Twin: Parodied. In "The Execution", the Germans publicly execute René. But Colonel von Strohm and Captain Geering help him survive (by switching the firing squad's bullets with duds). He has to spend the rest of the War pretending to be his long-lost identical twin brother, also called René. He then has to re-marry his "widowed" wife, because his will left everything he owned to her. That led to some hilarious statements like, e.g.: "I've been his ex ever since he died."
  • Bad Liar: A terrible liar, never more than when trying to explain to Edith why he is embracing one of the waitresses. He comes up with implausible excuses. She however seems to accept his nonsense — whether she genuinely believes it or just wants a quiet life is never clear.
  • Bedmate Reveal: Pops out of Madame Fanny's bed disguised as an old biddy in "The Sausage in the Wardrobe" and gives her a shock.
  • Blatant Lies: All of his excuses to Edith as to why he is embracing one of the waitresses.
  • Birthday Episode: In "Hitler's Last Heil".
  • A Birthday, Not a Break: His new car gets blown up by a car bomb on his birthday in "Hitler's Last Heil"... with him inside it.
  • Borrowed Catch Phrase:
    • Uses Michelle's "Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once." against her twice when giving his 'last words' in "The Execution" and again in "The Nicked Airmen" when he tries to tell her he is leaving the Resistance.
    • Uses LeClerc's "It is I! LeClerc!" when disguised as him in "No Hiding Place".
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: During his recaps in the beginning of every episode.
  • The Casanova: Despite his looks he has several women interested in him: Edith, Yvette, Maria, Mimi, Michelle, Denise, Louise, the rest of the Communist Resistance, Madame Lennard... and Gruber.
  • Catchphrase:
    • "You stupid woman! Can you not see..." His immediate response when caught in a compromising position by his wife. Typically followed by a flimsy excuse, which Edith buys anyway. Subverted in the final episode, "A Winkle in Time": "You stupid woman! Can you not see I am eloping?"
    • "Shut up you old bat." His response to Madame Fanny's complaints of being forgotten about or the flashing bedknobs.
    • "Oh 'eck!" Whenever things go pear shaped.
  • Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys: Is the first to point out how much he would rather keep his head down for the Germans and avoid the Resistance's schemes.
  • Classical Anti-Hero: Despite being a greedy and unfaithful coward, René is nonetheless quite likeable, moral and goodhearted. He will often do the right thing even if he requires a bit of convincing.
  • Code Name: Goes by "Nighthawk" when using the radio.
  • Conspicuous Trenchcoat: While disguised as a Resistance girl in "Herr Flick's Revenge".
  • Cyanide Pill: Attempts to kill himself with one in "Herr Flick's Revenge", although it is from a faulty batch.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Most of the characters have their moments as this. But René can be relied to be one in each episode. Particularly because of his awareness of the absurdities of most of the plans and schemes around him.
  • Diegetic Soundtrack Usage: "Money to Burn" starts with the opening theme fading into René playing it on the piano.
  • Dirty Coward: Is always the first to see the faults in Michelle's plans, and the last to want to help.
    René: Think of the life I would have to lead. Blowing up bridges and trains, dodging bullets, sleeping in hedges, living in ditches. This is no life for a coward. Especially one with a good business.
  • Disguised in Drag: Quite often during Michelle's Resistance schemes:
    • A Resistance girl ("Herr Flick's Revenge").
    • An old biddy ("The Sausage in the Wardrobe").
    • A cabaret dancer ("Prisoners of War", "Camp Dance").
    • Irma von Kinkenrotten ("Desperate Doings in the Dungeon", The Camera in the Potato").
    • The Excelsior Quartet's pianist ("An Enigma Variation").
    • A flamenco dancer ("Arousing Suspicions", "A Woman Never Lies").
  • Elopement: Attempts this with Yvette in "Train of Events", although a prior mix-up in "Flight to Geneva" thanks to LeClerc foils this. He later succeeds after the Time Skip in "A Winkle in Time".
  • Even the Guys Want Him: After a misunderstanding in "The British Are Coming", Gruber develops a crush on him which lasts throughout the whole series. General von Flockenstuffen also hits on him in "Watch the Birdie".
  • Everyone Has Standards: René fences goods for the Nazis and regularly cheats on his wife and mistresses but he won't tolerate murder under his roof. Despite General von Klinkerhoffen ordering René's execution in "The Execution", René foils several attempts on his life by the Resistance, Flick, and even Colonel von Strohm in "The Gateau From the Chateau".
  • Face Palm: In regards to whatever foolish schemes the Resistance have planned 90% of the time.
  • Fake Twin Gambit: After he is 'shot dead' in "The Execution", he poses as his fake twin, who is also named René.
  • Faking the Dead: Twice:
    • In "The Execution", he is shot 'dead' by a firing squad who are using wooden bullets. After this, he spends the rest of the series pretending to be his identical twin brother, also named René.
    • In "No Hiding Place", he pretends to have died to a Communist resistance attack so that Denise will not kill him for failing to marry her in "A Marriage of Inconvenience".
    René: It was I who died for France. I do not mean to die for France twice. Not in the same year.
  • Fauxreigner: Disguises as a Spanish flamenco dancer to fool the Germans in "Arousing Suspicions".
  • Fortune Teller: Disguises as a gypsy fortune teller as part of one of Michelle's plans to send the British Airmen home in "René of the Gypsies".
  • French Jerk: Is quite rude to his wife Edith, mother-in-law Fanny and Michelle of the Resistance, although considering how much he has to put up with, this is fair.
  • The "Fun" in "Funeral": His fake funeral in "The Funeral" has the coffin run away and explode.
  • Gag Nose: He wears a large fake nose made of plastic explosives in "René - Under an Assumed Nose" to masquerade as General Jean Louis Marcel Aznavour... until the nose is lit and blows up Herr Flick.
  • Got Me Doing It: Often copies Crabtree's accent by mistake after a conversation with him.
  • Hamster-Wheel Power: He and Yvette power the radio via this method in "The Sausage in the Trousers".
  • Harmless Electrocution: Gets electrocuted by a battery disguised as a cake in "The Camera in the Potato" and is no worse for it.
  • Harmless Lady Disguise: Various times throughout the show, for a full list see Disguised in Drag above.
  • Identical Grandson: His son (René Jr.) from after the Time Skip in "A Winkle in Time". Gets even funnier when we learn the son was a Doorstep Baby, and it's not entirely clear (to the visiting Germans) who the mother is, while Edith is just baffled as to why he was left on this doorstep in particular...
  • Incredibly Conspicuous Drag: Several of his female disguises such as the Resistance girl in "Herr Flick's Revenge" or the female pianist in "An Enigma Variation" make no effort to hide his mustache.
  • Incompatible Orientation: With Gruber.
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: Often downs a glass of wine or cognac when he's distressed, which happens often.
  • I Need to Go Iron My Dog: Gruber wants to spend some quality time alone with René in "Going Like a Bomb". This follows:
    René: No, Lieutenant. I have to put the cat out.
    Lieutenant Gruber: I could put it out with you.
    René: No, your medals might frighten it.
  • Inexplicably Identical Individuals: René Jr., his son from the Distant Finale in "A Winkle in Time".
  • In-Series Nickname: His affairs with multiple women have not gone unnoticed. According to Herr Flick in "Fleeing Monks", people have started calling him "Ménage Artois".
  • Interrupted Bath: "The Nicked Knockwurst" opens with a scene with him taking a bath that is interrupted over and over again, much to his growing annoyance.
  • J'accuse!: In "Desperate Doings in the Graveyard", Gruber relates a dream he had of René saying "J'accuse! J'accuse!". René responds to this with "Who is this Jack Hughes?" (Gruber believes he killed René with a firing squad and the René currently in the show is René posing as his own twin brother also called René). At the end of the episode, he gets stuck on a giant aerial rising out of a grave (they'd hidden a transmitter in his grave since it was empty) and Gruber sees this figure of René sheepishly rising out of the grave and faints. Helga then remarks "Well at least he didn't mention this "Jack Hughes".
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He isn't a bad guy per se, but he often needs a bit of prodding to get him to do the right thing. And, lets face it, he's got a lot on his plate being the Only Sane Man in Nouvion so he tends to be more than a little testy and snarky.
  • Kavorka Man: He's a fat, middle-aged, lazy eyed, balding, greedy, cowardly fool. Who is somehow romantically involved with virtually every woman in the cast at some point. He even gets a few guys pursuing him romantically.
    • Lampshaded when Michelle started coming on to him in "René - Under an Assumed Nose", purely for manipulative reasons. Yvette learned of this and Michelle promised to dump him when the war was over, asking what the hell Yvette saw in him anyway. Yvette began comparing him to many cultural references of the time. From Michelle's reaction she also seemed at a loss as to why Yvette liked those things either. In a later episode, however, Michelle was seen carrying on with him with a genuine smile on her face.
  • Lampshade Hanging: Often in his opening monologues to point out how absurd everything that happens to him is.
  • Legally Dead: He is 'shot dead' in "The Execution", so he is forced to pose as his fake twin, who is also named René for the rest of the series.
  • Les Collaborateurs: Has no problem with being friendly with the invading Germans in exchange for extra rations of butter, sugar and paraffin.
  • Lingerie Scene: Helga gets him imprisoned in a dungeon disguised as Irma von Kinkenrotten to help Herr Flick escape by switching clothes with him in "Desperate Doings in the Dungeon" and "The Camera in the Potato". This wouldn't be a problem, except all Irma was wearing was red lingerie.
  • Lovable Coward: He wants a free France and the Germans gone, but what he wants even more than that is to get through the war with his skin intact. The sheer ludicrousness of most of Michelle's schemes mean he is not exactly invested in them, after all, he's already been executed once.
  • Mad Libs Catchphrase: Whenever Edith caught him in a compromising position with one of the waitresses, he would snap at her "You stupid woman! Can you not see that (Blatant Lies explanation which Edith buys)?".
  • Mistaken for Cheating: Inverted; René really is cheating on Edith with his waitresses, but he manages to trick her every time he is caught in the act.
  • Mistaken for Gay: By Gruber in "The British Are Coming", resulting in a series-long infatuation.
  • Mr. Exposition: At the beginning of every episode, René breaks the Fourth Wall to explain to the viewer what has been going on. "Gruber Does Some Mincing" subverts this as he starts off by discussing the doings of some of the townspeople, before saying "You have never met these people, nor are you ever likely to. I am simply giving you the local gossip because with my own affairs I don't know where to start.".
  • My Sibling Will Live Through Me: Is shot to death by the Germans in "The Execution", but is able to fake his death (with a lot of help). He covers his reappearance by claiming to be his own identical twin brother for the rest of the show's run.
  • Nobody Here but Us Statues: Pretends to be a wax model to fool Gruber in "Dead Man Marching".
  • Non-Fatal Explosions: Gets blown up by a car bomb in "Hitler's Last Heil", but doesn't experience anything any worse than an Ash Face.
  • Not What It Looks Like: Edith is constantly catching him in compromising positions with the waitresses, to which he makes up some ridiculous lie which she always believes.
  • Only Sane Man: Apparently the sanest person in Nouvion, forever getting caught up in hare-brained schemes by Those Wacky Nazis and members of La Résistance.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: Several of his female disguises such as the Resistance girl in "Herr Flick's Revenge" or the female pianist in "An Enigma Variation" make no effort to hide his mustache.
  • Parrot Exposition: His conversation with Hans about pills and drugs in "The Gateau from the Chateau".
    Hans: The pill contains a drug.
    René: The pill in the till?
    Hans: Take it and put it in.
    René: Put the drug in the jug?
  • Phrase Catcher: Edith constantly yells "René! What are you doing with that serving girl in your arms!" whenever he is caught in a compromising position with one of the waitresses.
  • Pretending to Be One's Own Relative: After he is 'shot dead' in "The Execution", he poses as his fake twin, who is also named René. He also disguises as his father in "No Hiding Place" to avoid the Communist Resistance.
  • Previously on…: Begins every episode with a recap of the last episode's events. Played for Laughs with how he frequently comments on how outlandish the plot is getting.
  • Really Gets Around: He juggles affairs with three different waitresses, while later episodes blatantly hint that he's sleeping with many other women in the village.
  • Replacement Goldfish: To his fake twin brother, who is also named René.
  • Running Gag: Getting caught by Edith in a compromising position with one of the waitresses and coming up with an incredibly flimsy excuse which she believes every time.
  • Running Gagged: The finale "A Winkle in Time" has a scene set in present day, where Edith catches him with Yvette and he tells her he is eloping.
  • Shirtless Scene: When disguised as a road worker in "Flight of Fancy", he doesn't wear a shirt and has to awkwardly cover his nipples when Gruber passes by in his little tank.
  • Shot at Dawn: Is executed by firing squad in "The Execution", but luckily Colonel von Strohm and Hans had replaced the bullets with blanks.
  • Shot in the Ass: General von Klinkerhoffen mistakes him for an elk in "A Tour de France" and shoots him in the ass.
  • Suspiciously Similar Substitute: To his fake twin brother, who is also named René.
  • Spy Cam: Uses one hidden under his apron in "Watch the Birdie" to take photos of the British invasion map.
  • Spy Speak: Whenever he has to use the radio to call London.
  • That Came Out Wrong: When posing as his own twin brother in "The Funeral", he claims to come from the city of Nancy, Gruber asks if that was also true of his 'late brother':
    René: Yes, we were both Nancy boys.
  • Translation Convention: His French is just English with a French accent.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: More of an Ugly Guy Hot Mistresses example. His wife is past her prime and aged badly. But his mistresses and love interests tend to be much younger and more attractive than him.
  • Uncanny Family Resemblance: After being 'shot dead' by the Germans in "The Execution", he spends the rest of the series posing as his identical twin brother, also called René. Of course half the cast know the truth but they never let slip to the other half.
  • Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: Cowardly, lazy and tangled in many affairs - yet we still love René.
  • What Does She See in Him?: "René - Under an Assumed Nose" reveals Michelle has no idea what Yvette or the others see in René. She later takes a genuine amorous interest in him, though.
    Edith Artois 

Edith Melba "Mrs. Nighthawk" Artois, neé La Fan

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/edith_45.jpg

Actor: Carmen Silvera. First appearance: "The British Are Coming".

The wife of René. Aging and rather unattractive, though she has a few admirers. Her most prominent subplot involves her singing aspirations. She fancies herself a cabaret singer and regularly performs at the Café. Her singing has a tendency to scare away people, make dogs howl and shatter glass. The customers have taken to stuffing cheese in their ears to muffle her wails. Devoted to her husband and to the Resistance. She tends to come up with her own risky plans for the Resistance. The faked death of René leaves her the legal owner of the Café.
  • Adolf Hitlarious: Is forced by General von Klinkerhoffen to disguise as Hitler in "A Fishful of Francs" and "Swan Song".
  • Ash Face: After getting blown up by a car bomb in "Hitler's Last Heil".
  • Birthday Episode: The Clip Show "The Best of 'Allo 'Allo!" takes place on her birthday... even if she does lie about her age.
  • Blatant Lies: Herr Flick drugs her with a truth serum in "All in Disgeese". When asked her age to test if it worked, she replies that she is nearly twenty seven.
  • Borrowed Catch Phrase: Uses both of LeClerc's when disguised as him in "The Arrival of the Homing Duck".
    Edith: Ducks! Ducks! Who will buy my ducks? Who will buy a duck from an old duck seller?
    René: Come over here by the bar, old, badly-disguised duck seller.
    Edith: Ducks! Who will buy my ducks-
    René: Shut up!
    Edith: Psst! It is I, LeClerc!
    LeClerc: Hey! What is your game!? It is I, LeClerc!
  • Bride and Switch: Switches place with Denise so she can't marry René in "A Marriage of Inconvenience".
  • Casanova Wannabe: Following René's "execution", Edith takes the sudden interest every unmarried man in the village has for her as proof of her desirability, failing to see that what they really want is to get their hands on café'.
  • Catchphrase: "René! What are you doing holding that serving girl in your arms?" Whenever catching her husband in a compromising position with the waitresses.
  • Clingy Jealous Girl: To René.
  • Code Name: Goes by "Mrs. Nighthawk" when using the radio.
  • Disguised in Drag: Quite often during Michelle's Resistance schemes:
    • A German soldier ("Reds Nick Colonel", "The Nicked Knockwurst", "The Jet-Propelled Mother-in-Law").
    • A German Captain ("The Dance of Hitler Youth").
    • An undertaker ("Herr Flick's Revenge", "The Gateau from the Chateau", "The Nicked Airmen").
    • A road worker ("Flight of Fancy").
    • A British POW ("The Great Un-Escape", "Prisoners of War", "Camp Dance").
    • Roger LeClerc ("The Arrival of the Homing Duck").
    • The Excelsior Quartet's violinist ("An Enigma Variation").
    • A German Major ("The Airmen De-Nicked", "The Crooked Fences").
    • A monk ("Fleeing Monks", "Up the Crick Without a Piddle").
    • Adolf Hitler ("A Fishful of Francs", "Swan Song").
    • A scarecrow ("Swan Song").
  • Doorstop Baby: Was found on the doorstep of the chateau as a child. It was briefly believed that she was a gypsy princess stolen at birth in "René of the Gypsies".
  • Dreadful Musician: Her attempts at singing are so bad that customers will stick any readily available foodstuffs into their ears to avoid having to hear her. On the other hand, she's shown to be a decent dancer.
    General von Klinkerhoffen: It will be hard to know after this whether to applaud that one or give her first aid.
  • Elopement: Attempts this with René in "Train of Events", although he was trying to elope with Yvette and Edith only came due to a prior mix-up in "Flight to Geneva" thanks to LeClerc.
  • Fauxreigner: Disguises as a Spanish flamenco dancer to fool the Germans in "Arousing Suspicions".
  • Giftedly Bad: At singing, her voice will clear any room, any time.
    Lieutenant Gruber: Madame Edith has an unusual voice, René. Vas it trained?
    René: Oh, yes. But it escaped and returned to the wild.
  • Girls with Moustaches: Whenever she is Disguised in Drag, she often wears a fake mustache.
  • Gold Digger: She doesn't wait in looking for Rene's will after he's "killed" in "The Execution" to inherit his belongings and grab a lot of cash from his register so she can buy hats, while he's next to her in "Six Big Boobies".
    • Becomes a gender flipped target of when she becomes the proprieter of the Café and every single man in the village is willing to marry her just to get his hands on the money it could make them.
  • Harmless Electrocution: Gets electrocuted by a battery disguised as a cake in "The Camera in the Potato" and is no worse for it.
  • Hidden Depths: For all her quirks, quite often it's Edith who comes up with the solution to whatever problem the resistance are currently facing.
  • Hollywood Tone-Deaf: Supposedly she fails to notice how horrible her own singing is. LeClerc often intentionally tunes the piano off-key to better match her voice. She also fails to notice the singing talents of other characters. Several descriptions of the show simply list her as tone deaf. Carmen Silvera really couldn't sing and good-naturedly went along with the writers making Edith such a horrible entertainer.
  • Hyper-Competent Sidekick: many fans point out that whilst Rennie is constantly feted as the "hero of the resistance" it is actually Edith who is braver and cleverer than him and comes up with the solution to every problem.
  • Hypocritical Humour: Despite her own singing being the worst on the show, she claimed that anyone else was off-key, no matter how good they were.
    Edith: What are you doing singing in our café? That is my role! You will drive all away our customers singing off-key like that!
  • Ironic Name: Has a similar repertoire to Edith Piaf, a French singer and cultural icon who became universally regarded as France's greatest popular singer. The middle name Melba is probably a reference to Dame Nellie Melba, an Australian opera soprano. The joke is that Madame Artois is a terrible singer, unlike her namesakes.
  • Lethal Chef: In "Reds Nick Colonel", Yvette is mixing cement in Edith's mixing bowl. She reports that a German officer put his finger in the bowl and then tasted it. He only remarked that Edith's cooking is getting better. The series often mentions how awful Edith's cooking is.
  • Love Martyr: Despite being a clever woman, she always falls for René's transparent lies when she catches him cheating on her.
  • Mad Libs Catchphrase: Whenever she caught René in a compromising position with one of the waitresses she would shout "René! Why do I find you (in some form of compromising position) with a serving girl?".
  • Non-Fatal Explosions: Gets blown up by a car bomb in "Hitler's Last Heil".
  • Phrase Catcher: René constantly yells "You stupid woman! Can you not see..." whenever she catches him in a compromising position with one of the waitresses.
  • Politically Incorrect Hero: Often derogatorily refers to Yvette as “that servant girl”.
  • Pretending to Be One's Own Relative: Disguises as Madame Fanny in "The Long Distance Duck", when hiding from the Communist Resistance and in "Soup and Sausage", to get soup to the British airmen, who were stranded in the sewer.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: In addition to her delusions of being a glamourous caberet singer, Edith fails to recognize that most of the men pursuing her following René's "death" are far more interested in getting their hands on the Café' than out of any real romantic interest in her.
  • The Strategist: Usually she is who comes up with a brilliant plan.
  • Suckiness Is Painful: Her singing is awful enough that it can cause Nazi officers and hardened Resistance fighters alike to flee the building (or at least to stuff cheese in their ears).
  • A Taste Of Thelash: In "The Crooked Fences", she decides to indulge in some flagellation as penance. Played for Laughs as all she can use is wet spaghetti.
  • That Syncing Feeling: In "The Reluctant Millionaires", René persuades her to mime to a record rather than inflict her own singing voice on the customers. Then LeClerc gets the records mixed up and she ends up having to mime as the very deep bass voice of Paul Robeson sings "Ol' Man River". The audience still find it an improvement on her usual performances.
  • Translation Convention: Her French is just English with a French accent.
  • Younger Than They Look: Carmen Silvera was 60 years old at the beginning of the series. A running gag of the series is that Edith looks ancient. At some point, Edith mentions entertaining soldiers in the previous War (World War I), René asks if it was the Crimean War (1853-1856).
    Yvette Carte-Blanche 

Yvette Carte-Blanche

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/yvette_9.jpg

Actor: Vicki Michelle. First appearance: "The British Are Coming".

One of the waitresses of the Café and the main love interest of René. She is truly in love with her boss and blissfully unaware of his relationships with other women. She serves as a part-time prostitute for the German patrons of the Café, selling her body for paraffin, gasoline, sugar and butter. Or for whatever rare resource is available. She doesn't really mind. Yvette is also a loyal and competent member of the Resistance.
  • Bedmate Reveal: Pops out of Madame Fanny's bed disguised as an old biddy in "Pretty Maids All in a Row" and gives her a shock.
  • Blatant Lies: Herr Flick drugs her with a truth serum in "All in Disgeese". When asked her age to test if it worked, she replies that she is nineteen.
  • Catchphrase: "Oh René", said in a long growling tone which she uses to address her lover.
  • Comic Sutra: Her services to the Germans involve several odd items, most often wet celery and a flying helmet. How they're used is left completely to the imagination.
  • Disguised in Drag: Quite often during Michelle's Resistance schemes:
    • A German soldier ("Reds Nick Colonel", "The Nicked Knockwurst").
    • An undertaker ("Herr Flick's Revenge", "The Gateau from the Chateau", "The Nicked Airmen", "The Crooked Fences").
    • A British POW ("The Great Un-Escape", "Prisoners of War", "Camp Dance").
    • A road worker ("Flight of Fancy").
    • A German Officer ("The Airmen De-Nicked").
  • Early Installment Character-Design Difference: Her hair was styled differently in the early series.
  • Elopement: Attempts this with René in "Train of Events", although a prior mix-up in "Flight to Geneva" thanks to LeClerc foils this. She later succeeds after the Time Skip in "A Winkle in Time".
  • Europeans Are Kinky: Loves to use a bit of wet celery in her lovemaking.
  • Everyone Looks Sexier if French: One of the most attractive women in the series.
  • Fauxreigner: Disguises as a Spanish flamenco dancer to fool the Germans in "Arousing Suspicions".
  • Girls with Moustaches: Whenever she is Disguised in Drag, she often wears a fake mustache.
  • French Maid: Technically a French waitress. Otherwise an incarnation of this trope. Her work uniform provides fan service, she is very seductive and perky. Also disguises as a maid to infiltrate General von Klinkerhoffen's bedroom in "The Sausage in the Wardrobe".
  • Hamster-Wheel Power: She and René power the radio via this method in "The Sausage in the Trousers".
  • Hooker with a Heart of Gold: Some nights she entertains the Germans with "the wet celery and the flying helmet", other nights she is a brave champion fighting to free France from the Nazis.
  • The Mistress: René cheats on Edith with her.
  • Ms. Fanservice: She shares the role with Helga. Both can be expected to show off their feminine charms at least once an episode. Some scenes focus on their legs in stockings. Others have them stripping down to their underwear or wearing fetish-fuel outfits.
  • Noodle Implements: Uses a flying helmet and wet celery in her Comic Sutra.
  • The Oldest Profession: Doubles as a prostitute.
  • The Rival: To Mimi from Series 6 onward, as they would argue and fight over anything, especially René's affections.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: To Mimi from Series 6 onward, as they would argue and fight over anything, especially René's affections.
  • Translation Convention: Her French is just English with a French accent.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: The Ugly Guy Hot Mistress variation with René.
  • Victoria's Secret Compartment: Monsieur Alfonse kept an ice lolly between her breasts in "Soup and Sausage".
  • Vocal Evolution: Her passionate utterances became increasingly guttural and exaggerated as the show went on.
  • What Could Have Been: Kirsten Cooke, who plays Michelle, originally auditioned for Yvette.
    Madame Fanny 

Madame Fanny Now You See It, Now You Do Not LeClerc, neé La Fan

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/fanny_23.jpg

Actor: Rose Hill. First appearance: "The British Are Coming".

The (adoptive) mother of Edith and mother-in-law of René. A former entertainer and/or courtesan, supposedly once famous herself and romantically involved with numerous suitors. Currently, Fanny is an invalid old woman, living in the attic of the Café. She still has a a couple of elderly suitors. She is bedridden, cranky and frequently complaining about the quality of food provided for her. Her room doubles as the communication headquarters of the Resistance, which is a source of constant annoyance for her. She often leaves her room at times to raid the wine cellar of the Café or take over the Café in the absence of her family.
  • Adapted Out: Was absent from the stage show and the video game.
  • Been There, Shaped History: In "Pretty Maids All in a Row", she claims to have been a former lover of Vincent van Gogh and the reason he cut off his ear.
  • Bullying a Dragon: Kicks Bertorelli up the ass in "A Quiet Honeymoon", even though he was one of the officers deciding her prison sentence. Also insults General von Klinkerhoffen to his face in "A Fishful of Francs".
  • The Bus Came Back: Returns in "A Bun in the Oven" after leaving to visit her cousin in Avignon in "Soup and Sausage" and in "Dead Man Marching" after going away to Paris with LeClerc in "Swan Song".
  • Catchphrase: Had two:
    • "Will nobody hear the cries of a poor old woman?" When trying to summon people to her room and nobody answers. Either because they are preoccupied elsewhere in the café or actually not even present within the building.
    • Also, "Ze flashing knobs!", referring to the signal that the British were sending a message on the radio built into her bed.
  • December–December Romance: Her relationships with brothers Roger and Ernest LeClerc.
    René: Mama, I… what is the forger who is pretending to be a tailor doing in bed with your mother?
    Edith: He is an old lover. Isn’t it romantic?
    René: Rheumatic, I would say.
  • Dirty Old Woman: She objects rather stringently to Edith trying to stop her from watching the British airmen changing in "The British Are Coming".
  • Does Not Like Spam: Has a particular hatred for onion soup.
  • Faking the Dead: Is disguised as a corpse in "Herr Flick's Revenge" and "The Gateau from the Chateau" to help the British airmen escape via hot air balloon. She later pretends to die in "René - Under an Assumed Nose" to keep Gruber from discovering René hiding in her wardrobe.
  • French Jerk: Never stops complaining and constantly spitting on people.
  • Grumpy Old Woman: She never stops complaining about pretty much anything.
  • Hollywood Tone-Deaf: When she sings, she's bad as her daughter.
  • Informed Flaw: The customers in the café react the same when she sings as they do when Edith does. However unlike Edith, Fanny seems to be able to carry a tune.
  • In-Series Nickname: René has affectionately nicknamed her the 'old bat'.
  • I Was Quite a Looker: Apparently once famous for her looks. She mentions appearing in the Folies Bergère, the famous music hall. Becoming the talk of Paris. Her beauty and voice lured many a young man to her. She has not aged gracefully.
  • Lady Drunk: She is the character most likely to get drunk and often trying to get her hands on a bottle.
    Edith: Mama is not well. How will she endure the hardships of prison life? The isolation, the damp, the lack of gin?
  • Never Mess with Granny: Toyed with. She knows Jujitsu and is studying on ways to use her crutch as a weapon. Also, when René and the rest are accidentally trapped in a German POW camp, she drives a construction crane with surprising ease during Crabtree's attempt to bust them out in "Prisoners of War".
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Accidentally destroys both the Gestapo money needed to save LeClerc and the Resistance's Spy Cam potato in "Money to Burn".
  • Non-Fatal Explosions: Is blown up by a cannon in "A Fishy Send-Off".
  • Obnoxious In-Laws: To Rene.
  • Phrase Catcher: "Shut up you old bat!" From René whenever she says either of her Catchphrases
  • Put on a Bus: Twice:
    • In "Soup and Sausage", she has an argument with LeClerc and goes to stay with her cousin until she returns after the Time Skip in "A Bun in the Oven".
    • In "Swan Song", she and LeClerc take the money from the café after they think René and Edith have died and move to Paris until they return in "Dead Man Marching".
  • Refuge in Audacity: She prevents Herr Flick from searching her room in "Pigeon Post" by immediately confessing the (admittedly absurd) truth. As she expected, Herr Flick takes this to be the ramblings of a senile old woman and leaves.
  • Running Gag: Would be surprised by her bed knobs whenever they started flashing to signal a radio transmission from London.
  • Running Gagged: The final episode, "A Winkle in Time" has her not care about the flashing knobs, with LeClerc getting surprised instead.
  • Translation Convention: Her French is just English with a French accent.
  • Sarcastic Confession: After hiding the British Airmen from a Gestapo search in "Pigeon Post", she declares that she'll never reveal their presence, only to immediately say "There are two British airmen under the bed!" the moment Herr Flick enters. Herr Flick walks off in a huff, thinking he's being made a fool of.
  • Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: Pretty much her attitude towards most people.
  • Spiteful Spit: She spits prodigiously every time they the Germans are mentioned to her or whenever one enters her room. No matter how polite some of them actually behave.
  • Suckiness Is Painful: The only thing worse than Edith's singing is a sensual song and dance by her old, decrepit mother.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: "The Return of 'Allo 'Allo!" reveals LeClerc married Mimi between the end of the war and the Distant Finale in "A Winkle in Time", with no mention of what happened to her, although this is probably because Rose Hill died in 2003, four years before "The Return of 'Allo 'Allo!".
  • Written-In Absence: Is not in "Soup and Sausage" as she was visiting her cousin in Avignon.
    Messieurs LeClerc 

Messieurs Roger and Ernest Dipstick LeClerc

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/r_leclerc.jpg
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/e_leclerc.jpg

Actors: Jack Haig (Roger); Derek Royle (Ernest, Series 6), Robin Parkinson (Ernest, Series 7 to 9) First appearance: "The British Are Coming" (Roger), "Desperate Doings in the Graveyard (Ernest).

A rather incompetent Resistance operative and counterfeiter who works as a bartender at Café René. Known for his Paper-Thin Disguises and being the former lover of Madame Fanny. At the end of Series 5 (due to the unexpected death of Jack Haig) he is replaced by his twin brother, Ernest, who swapped places with Roger in jail after not believing that prison food was better than Edith's cooking.
  • Bedmate Reveal: Both would often pop up in Madame Fanny's bed much to the surprise of any others around them.
  • The Bus Came Back: Ernest returned in "Dead Man Marching" after going away to Paris with Madame Fanny in "Swan Song".
  • Catchphrase: Two:
    • "It is I! LeClerc!" Whenever revealing one of their Paper-Thin Disguises.
    • "(Item)! (Item)! Who will buy my (Item)?" When disguised as a salesman.
  • Clark Kenting: 90% of their disguises.
  • December–December Romance: Both with the equally decrepit Madame Fanny.
  • Disguised in Drag: Roger disguised as a milkmaid in "The Wooing of Widow Artois" and "The Policeman Cometh".
  • Dreadful Musician: Roger's piano playing was awful, although Edith's much worse singing drowns it out.
    René: He’s a very bad pianist, but when my wife sings, nobody notices.
  • French Accordion: Both would often play one around the café.
  • Genius Ditz: Despite being foolish old men, both the brothers were Master Forgers.
  • Harmless Lady Disguise: Roger's milkmaid disguise in "The Wooing of Widow Artois" and "The Policeman Cometh".
  • Incredibly Conspicuous Drag: Roger's milkmaid disguise in "The Wooing of Widow Artois" and "The Policeman Cometh" is especially poor, even by his standards.
  • Last-Name Basis: Both the brothers are referred to as Monsieur LeClerc out of respect.
  • Mad Libs Catch Phrase: "(Item)! (Item)! Who will buy my (Item)?" is used for cheese, putty, marrows, clothes pegs, etc.
  • Master Forger: Both the brothers:
    • Roger LeClerc is a professional forger who provides whatever papers, passports and anything else the resistance need to implement whichever Zany Scheme they are trying this episode. He is introduced in the first episode when the resistance (literally) break him out prison to exploit his talents. Whilst an utter bumbler in just about everything else (his disguises in particular are especially unconvincing, even by this shows standards), throughout the shows run not a single one of his forgeries is ever caught. A plot point in early series however, is that the only thing he can't forge are paintings, forcing them to look for outside help in their many schemes to steal the priceless painting 'The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies'.
    • Ernest takes over this role in Series 6. If anything, he is better than his brother as he can also forge paintings.
  • Panty Thief: Roger has to steal Helga's knickers in "Swiftly and with Style" to use the silk to repair a hot air balloon for the British airmen.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: Whether they be a cheese seller, a mountain climber or a clown, it is always painfully obvious that it is he! LeClerc!
  • Put on a Bus: Roger is sent to prison between "All in Disgeese" and "Desperate Doings in the Graveyard" and in "Swan Song", Ernest and Madame Fanny take the money from the café after they think René and Edith have died and move to Paris until they return in "Dead Man Marching".
  • Real Life Writes the Plot: Roger being replaced by Ernest was due to Jack Haig's death between Series 5 and 6.
  • Running Gag: Showing up to the café in a painfully obvious disguise.
  • Spy Speak: Roger attempts this with René in "The British Are Coming" by asking for a light, only for Gruber to offer him a match instead.
  • Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Ernest to Roger, as they were both old Master Forgers who courted Madame Fanny.
  • Translation Convention: Their French is just English with a French accent.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: The 2007 reunion special "The Return of 'Allo 'Allo!" reveals Ernest married Mimi sometime after the end of the war, but he was absent from the Distant Finale parts of "A Winkle in Time" (the finale which aired 15 years earlier), with Mimi working in the café again.
    Maria Recamier 

Maria Recamier

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/maria_62.jpg

Actor: Francesca Gonshaw. First appearance: "The British Are Coming".

The other waitress of the Café and love interest of René in the first three series. Also a part-time prostitute and Resistance member. Several jokes focused on her small height. She had to stand on a stool before embracing her lover. Maria is otherwise one of the most cheerful and naive characters. Several of her missions required her to dress as a boy, a boy wearing stockings, suspenders, short pants, and lipstick.
  • A Day in the Limelight: "The Sausage in the Wardrobe" gives her the most screentime as she is captured by General von Klinkerhoffen and a rescue mission is put in place to save her.
  • Bedmate Reveal: Pops out of Madame Fanny's bed disguised as an old biddy in "Pretty Maids All in a Row" and gives her a shock.
  • Comic Sutra: Her services to the Germans involve several odd items, most often an egg whisk. How they're used is left completely to the imagination.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: Michelle tells her in "Pigeon Post" that she can't disguise herself as a small girl because she is a small girl.
  • Disguised in Drag: Quite often during Michelle's Resistance schemes:
    • George Artois ("Pigeon Post", "Flight of Fancy").
    • A German soldier ("Reds Nick Colonel", "The Nicked Knockwurst").
    • An undertaker ("Herr Flick's Revenge", "The Gateau from the Chateau").
    • A road worker ("Flight of Fancy").
    • A British POW ("The Great Un-Escape").
  • Europeans Are Kinky: Loves to use an egg whisk in her lovemaking.
  • Everyone Looks Sexier if French: One of the most attractive women in the series.
  • Flanderization: Would still roll her 'r's in early series, but by Series 3, she seemingly can't go one sentence without sending spit flying.
  • French Maid: Technically a French waitress. Otherwise an incarnation of this trope. Her work uniform provides fan service and she is very seductive and perky.
  • Girls with Moustaches: Whenever she is Disguised in Drag, she often wears a fake mustache.
  • Hooker with a Heart of Gold: Some nights she entertains the Germans with "the wet celery and the flying helmet", other nights she is a brave champion fighting to free France from the Nazis.
  • Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Gorden Kaye is 5' 10½" (1.79 m) and seems to tower over Francesca Gonshaw, which became a running gag for the show. She even had to stand on a chair before they could cuddle together.
  • Human Mail: "Camp Dance" reveals she accidentally mailed herself to Switzerland off-screen in "Prisoners of War" to escape the POW camp.
  • Meaningful Name: Her last name is the same as Juliette Récamier, a leading French socialite of the 19th century. She was known for first marrying when 15 years old to a man old enough to be her father.
  • The Mistress: René cheats on Edith with her.
  • Older Than They Look: Is an adult, but Michelle has trouble believing it. When Maria asks why she has to be disguised as a small boy instead of a small girl in "Pigeon Post", Michelle answers "Because you are a small girl.".
  • The Oldest Profession: Doubles as a prostitute.
  • Noodle Implements: Uses an egg whisk in her Comic Sutra.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: Her disguise as René's nephew George in "Pigeon Post" has her still wear her stockings, suspenders and makeup.
  • Put on a Bus: After her actress' departure from the show at the end of the third series, the series opted to explain why Maria had suddenly vanished. She was last seen trapped in the prison camp for British soldiers with the majority of the main cast in "The Great Un-Escape". "Camp Dance" explains that she had attempted to escape by disguising herself as a Red Cross package and getting mailed out. Unfortunately, she didn't have enough stamps and was as such returned to Switzerland.
  • Real Life Writes the Plot: Was written out after "The Great Un-Escape" because Francesca Gonshaw didn't like the role.
  • Sweet Polly Oliver: Often disguises as a boy for the Resistance, though a very effeminate boy.
  • Translation Convention: Her French was just English with a French accent.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: The Ugly Guy Hot Mistress variation with René.
  • Verbal Tic: She over emphasizes the French 'r', resulting in spit flying out and whomever she's speaking to first recoiling back and then wiping their face.
  • Vocal Evolution: Her emphasis of the letter 'r' got over exaggerated as the series went on.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: We never find out what happened to Maria after she was sent to Switzerland between Series 3 and 4.
    Mimi Labonq 

Mimi Labonq

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/mimi_9.jpg

Actor: Sue Hodge. First appearance: "Good Staff are Hard to Find".

The replacement of Maria in her duties as both waitress and prostitute. Appeared from Series 4 to 9. Despite being even shorter than her predecessor, she is still an experienced member of the Resistance and was planted in the Café as their agent. She would rather kill Germans than sleep with them and has a vicious streak. She fell hard for René, he reluctantly reciprocates, though her attitude seems to be a turn off for him. Mimi happens to be a talented singer and dancer and when given the chance, the waitress easily outperforms Edith.
  • Amazon Brigade: A member of the all female French Resistance.
  • Ash Face: After a climb through a chimney in "Arousing Suspicions".
  • Blatant Lies: Herr Flick drugs her with a truth serum in "All in Disgeese". When asked her age to test if it worked, she replies that she is eighteen.
  • Comic Sutra: Her services to the Germans involve several odd items, most often wet celery and a flying helmet. How they're used is left completely to the imagination.
  • Conspicuous Trenchcoat: Often wears one like the rest of the Resistance.
  • Cute Bruiser: In her first appearance in "Good Staff Are Hard to Find", she easily tackles René, who is more than twice her size, to the floor.
  • Cute and Psycho: Has a quite frightening side to her personality. In "Watch the Birdie", she gleefully admits to using a Resistance pill to poison a French general who was collaborating with Germans.
  • Disguised in Drag: Quite often during Michelle's Resistance schemes:
    • A toothless manservant ("The Gestapo for the High Jump").
    • An undertaker ("The Nicked Airmen").
    • A German Officer ("The Airmen De-Nicked", "The Crooked Fences").
  • Early Installment Character-Design Difference: Her hair was styled differently in Series 4 and the first half of Series 5.
  • Elopement: Attempts this with René in "Train of Events", although he was trying to elope with Yvette and Mimi only came due to a prior mix-up in "Flight to Geneva" thanks to LeClerc.
  • Europeans Are Kinky: Loves to use a bit of wet celery in her lovemaking.
  • Girls with Moustaches: Whenever she is Disguised in Drag, she often wears a fake mustache.
  • Fauxreigner: Disguises as a Spanish flamenco dancer to fool the Germans in "Arousing Suspicions".
  • French Maid: Technically a French waitress. She has her moments providing fanservice.
  • Hooker with a Heart of Gold: Some nights she entertains the Germans with "the wet celery and the flying helmet", other nights she is a brave champion fighting to free France from the Nazis.
  • Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Gorden Kaye is 5' 10½" (1.79 m) and Sue Hodge 4' 9" (1.45 m) tall. Just like with Maria, their height difference became a running gag.
  • La Résistance: A member of the French Resistance.
  • Meaningful Name: Her last name sounds like the term "to bonk" - "to have sexual intercourse". it also sounds like the similar-sounding term "bonkers" - "irrational, crazy", which is another one of her character traits.
  • The Mistress: René cheats on Edith with her.
  • The Oldest Profession: Doubles as a prostitute.
    Mimi: It would take years for an honest working girl to earn this. Lucky I’m a tart!
  • Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: Sue Hodge's natural voice would often slip past the French accent at the end of sentences.
  • Noodle Implements: Uses wet celery in her Comic Sutra.
  • Punny Name: Her last name sounds like the term "to bonk" - "to have sexual intercourse". it also sounds like the similar-sounding term "bonkers" - "irrational, crazy", which is another one of her character traits.
  • The Rival: To Yvette from Series 6 onward, as they would argue and fight over anything, especially René's affections.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: To Yvette from Series 6 onward, as they would argue and fight over anything, especially René's affections.
  • Sucksessor: René doesn't love her as much as he did Maria due to her being slightly deranged.
  • Suspiciously Similar Substitute: To Maria. They both were short, which It allowed the writers to continue the gag of Mimi/Maria having to get a stool to stand on in order to hug René. Partially averted, though, in that René wasn't all that keen on her.
  • Translation Convention: Her French is just English with a French accent.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: The Ugly Guy Hot Mistress variation with René.

French Resistance

    Michelle Dubois 

Michelle "Bluetit" "of the Résistance" Dubois

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/michelle_00.jpg

Actor: Kirsten Cooke. First appearance: "The British Are Coming".

Leader of the Gaullist Resistance in Nouvion and its vicinity. She has a cover identity of working in the post office of the next village over, allowing her to come and go as she pleases. She is typically dressed in a black beret and dark brown trench coat, the uniform used by most women of her organization. Michelle is a crafty, clever woman who can be relied on to come up with more and more creatively complicated plans. Unfortunately, even her best plans tend to fall victim to the Gambit Pileup that regularly takes place in Nouvion. She demands courage and efficiency from her operatives. She can be very convincing, particularly when holding people at gunpoint. Though fiercely patriotic, Michelle is not above using some funds for personal expenses.
  • Action Girl: Takes active part in many risky schemes.
  • Amazon Brigade: The leader of the all female French Resistance.
  • Bad Boss: In René's eyes at least, as she constantly makes insane (and slightly suicidal) plans that she expects René and the café gang to follow, and then gets pissy when they inevitably fail.
    Michelle: You, René, will write a description of the uniforms we require. Here is the paper supplied with the cylinder.
    René: What shall I say?
    Michelle: “To London: please supply urgently by parachute drop at your earliest convenience – German uniforms as follows. One Colonel in research regiment, with…
    René: Just a moment please. How am I supposed to get all that on this little bit of paper?
    Michelle: With very small writing.
  • Catchphrase: "Listen very carefully, I shall say zis only once." With the variant "Look very carefully, I shall show you only once." when visually demonstrating something. In both cases, Michelle insists on secrecy.
  • Clark Kenting: She wears large glasses and affects a lisp in her day job as a postal worker.
  • Code Name: Goes by "Bluetit" on the radio.
  • The Comically Serious: One of the most serious characters of the entire series. Much of the humor in her case is having such a serious character caught up in ludicrous situations. Or having her deliver absurd lines in deadly serious manner.
  • Conspicuous Trenchcoat: Her typical manner of dress.
  • Corrupt Cop: She claims to be fighting for France and enforcing loyalty to the French cause among the populace. But she's also not above dipping into resistance funds for personal use.
  • Did Not Think This Through: Attempts to kill General von Klinkerhoffen using an explosive shell hidden under Madame Fanny's wheelchair in "The Jet-Propelled Mother-in-Law". It is not meant to be a suicide bombing, so she connects the bomb to an alarm clock so Madame Fanny can take cover when she hears the ringing, just before it blows up. However, Michelle didn't take into account that Madame Fanny can't hear anything without her ear trumpet, so she doesn't even notice the alarm (thankfully, the detonator fell out of the shell, so all that happens is the wheelchair getting propelled away at high speeds).
  • Disguised in Drag: Quite often during her Resistance schemes:
    • A German solider ("Reds Nick Colonel", "Good Staff Are Hard to Find").
    • An undertaker ("Herr Flick's Revenge", "The Gateau from the Chateau", "The Nicked Airmen", "The Crooked Fences", "A Winkle in Time").
    • A British POW ("The Great Un-Escape", "Prisoners of War", "Camp Dance").
    • A gas inspector ("Camp Dance").
    • A fireman ("The Dreaded Circular Saw").
    • A builder ("Puddings Can Go Off").
    • A German General ("An Enigma Variation").
    • A policeman ("All in Disgeese", "A Fishy Send-Off").
    • A German Officer ("The Airmen De-Nicked").
  • Everyone Looks Sexier if French: Despite hiding her body under her trenchcoat, René admits he'd love to see her body in "The Return of 'Allo 'Allo!".
  • Foil: To Louise. Both were Resistance leaders who used a pistol, however Louise truly loved René, while Michelle only pretended to.
  • Fauxreigner: Disguises as a Spanish flamenco dancer to fool the Germans in "Arousing Suspicions".
  • French Jerk: Despite being the heroic leader of the French Resistance, she is bossy and often leaves all the hard work in her plans to René and the café gang, and then chews them out when her ludicrous plans inevitably fail.
  • Girls with Moustaches: Whenever she is Disguised in Drag, she often wears a fake mustache.
  • Good Is Not Nice: She serves a heroic cause, but she forcefully recruited René. She doesn't hesitate to coerce people to do what she wants such as when she manipulated René's emotions by pretending to be in love with him in "René - Under an Assumed Nose".
    • Michelle is also not above dipping into Resistance funds (Claiming the cash register of Cafe Rene as Resistance funds no less!) for such things as visits to the hairdressers.
  • The Gunslinger: Her trusty handgun gets her through many situations.
  • I Am Very British: Her extremely over the top British accent when she speaks English (being the only French character able to do so).
  • Injured Limb Episode: She falls off a drainpipe in "The Nicked Knockwurst" which fractures her leg and leaves her in a cast for the rest of the episode, and the next "Gruber Does Some Mincing".
  • I Was Never Here: She would often give René orders, then tell him to forget everything she just said for security reasons.
  • La Résistance: The leader of the French Resistance.
  • Leg Focus: While Michelle typically hides her charms under her trenchcoat, she has great legs. Which she demonstrates on occasion, allowing the male characters to drool.
    Michelle: Now look very carefully, I shall show this only once.
  • The Mistress: Manipulates René into wanting to cheat on Edith with her in "René - Under an Assumed Nose" to keep him in the Resistance.
  • Never My Fault: Most of her plans are ridiculously convoluted and rarely well thought out. When they inevitably go wrong she tends to blame the hapless civilians she has dragooned into carrying out her schemes rather than taking responsibility herself.
  • Real Life Writes the Plot: Her Catchphrase "Listen very carefully, I shall say zis only once." was originally just a one-off line in 'The British Are Coming', but the audience reaction was so great it was used more often.
  • Rebel Leader: Leads the local branch of the Gaullist Resistance. With loyal followers at hand and several reluctant recruits.
  • Ship Tease: When René and Edith are forced to pose as the doubles of Goering and Hitler respectively after Colonel von Strohm allowed the real doubles to be assassinated in "A Fishful of Francs", the café staff go to get help and find her and Crabtree engaged in a 'late night staff meeting'.
  • Translation Convention: Her French is just English with a French accent.

    Henriette 

Henriette

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/henriette.jpg

Actor: Phoebe Scholfield. First appearance: "Pigeon Post".

The second-in-command of Michelle, known for her devotion to the bravest girl in all of France. Appears in Series 1, 2, 5 and 6.

Nouvion Garrison

    Colonel von Strohm 

Colonel Kurt von Strohm

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/von_strohm.jpg

Actor: Richard Marner. First appearance: "The British Are Coming".

The cowardly, corrupt commander of the Nouvion Garrison. A frequent client of Café René and his waitresses' 'services'. Since catching René with the British Airmen in the first episode, he often blackmails him into helping along with his schemes.
  • Armed Farces: A bumbling idiot who uses his position as Colonel to avoid work.
  • Attractive Bent-Gender: His cabaret dancer disguise in "Prisoners of War" manages to get some high ranking German's heads turning. He later gets the attention of some other Germans when disguised as a prostitute in "Gone with the Windmill".
  • Birthday Episode: In "Reds Nick Colonel".
  • A Birthday, Not a Break: Gets kidnapped on his birthday in "Reds Nick Colonel".
  • Conspicuous Trenchcoat: When disguised as a Resistance girl in "A Woman Never Lies".
  • Cyanide Pill: Attempts to kill himself with one in "Herr Flick's Revenge", although it is from a faulty batch.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: He mentions to General von Klinkerhoffen that Gruber is very reticent when it comes to "women of the opposite sex" in "Prior Engagements".
  • Disguised in Drag: Quite often during his schemes:
    • Madame Fanny La Fan ("The Execution").
    • A cabaret dancer ("Prisoners of War", "Camp Dance").
    • A nurse ("The Exploding Bedpan").
    • A Resistance girl ("A Woman Never Lies").
    • A very ugly girl ("A Fishful of Francs").
    • A flamenco dancer ("Swan Song", "Gone with the Windmill").
    • A prostitute ("Gone with the Windmill").
  • The Dragon: Began the series as a Starter Villain but was demoted to this after General von Klinkerhoffen assumed command of the Garrison.
  • Europeans Are Kinky: Loves when Yvette uses wet celery in their lovemaking and just the mention of wet rhubarb in "René - Under an Assumed Nose" turns him on.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: After Helga has her underwear stolen in "Swiftly and with Style" she demands the he execute some peasants in retribution, he responds by saying that even Germans cannot execute people for stealing a pair of knickers.
  • Fauxreigner: Disguises as a Spanish flamenco dancer to remain undetected in "Swan Song" and "Gone with the Windmill".
  • "Good Luck" Gesture: Gives René a thumbs up before his execution in "The Execution".
  • Harmless Lady Disguise: Various times throughout the show, for a full list see Disguised in Drag above.
  • Have a Gay Old Time: Parodied in "A Fishy Send-Off" where he and Gruber are dreading the thought of participating in the Invasion of Britain:
    Colonel von Strohm: What about Manchester? They eat faggots for breakfast!
    Lieutenant Gruber: Such a barbaric place...
  • Help, I'm Stuck!: Gets stuck in the tunnel leading into the POW camp in "The Great Un-Escape".
  • Last-Name Basis: He is mainly referred to as Colonel von Strohm, or simply the Colonel out of respect.
  • Lovable Coward: He's cowardly, but often sympathetic due to his punch clock villainy.
  • Lying Finger Cross: When René is about to be executed in "The Execution", but the real and fake bullets have been mixed up.
  • Minion with an F in Evil: Bungles any plan General von Klinkerhoffen gives him.
  • Mistaken for Gay: Gruber believes he and Hans have fallen out after both being in love with René in "The Great Un-Escape", athough it was really because Hans' gun had been used by Edith to pretend to shoot Fifi and Gigi, two 'women of the street' (the British Airmen in disguise).
  • Mobile Shrubbery: His tree disguise in "The Nicked Knockwurst".
  • The Oldest Profession: Disguises as a prostitute in "Gone With the Windmill".
  • One-Steve Limit: One of Gruber's dogs in "The Nicked Knockwurst" was also named Kurt.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: His mobile tree in "The Nicked Knockwurst".
  • Punch-Clock Villain: He's far more interested in his own schemes than aiding the nazis.
  • Reassigned to Antarctica: General von Klinkerhoffen is constantly threatening him with being sent to the Russian Front.
  • Secret Police: Dons a Gestapo disguise in "Desperate Doings in the Dungeon".
  • Starter Villain: Until Herr Flick's arrival partway through "The British Are Coming" and General von Klinkerhoffen becoming a regular in "Herr Flick's Revenge".
  • Suspiciously Idle Officers: Would rather spend most of the war having sex with waitresses and stealing artifacts.
  • Those Two Guys: With Hans, until he was Put on a Bus in "Prisoners of War".
  • Those Wacky Nazis: A fat, balding, cowardly and Nazi who snitches on others in the Garrison like a naughty schoolboy before the headmaster.
  • Translation Convention: His German is just English with a German accent.
  • The Von Trope Family: Lighter Von Trope: While still stern and can be threatening at times, the Colonel is mostly a jovial sort and used for comedy.
  • Yes-Man: Will go along with any of General von Klinkerhoffen's plans if he thinks it will help him in the long run.
  • You Look Familiar: An in-series example when General von Klinkerhoffen sees him disguised as a British POW in "The Great Un-Escape".
    Captain Geering 

Captain Hans Geering

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/hans_2.jpg

Actor: Sam Kelly. First appearance: "The British Are Coming".

The meek and lazy assistant to Colonel von Strohm until he was Put on a Bus in Series 4.
  • Armed Farces: A lazy, bumbling idiot who can't even be bothered giving the correct Hitler salute.
  • Bawdy Song: Some British POW's teach him "Hitler Has Only Got One Ball" so he can pretend to be a POW in "The Great Un-Escape".
  • Blind Without 'Em: He can't return to Nouvion from England in "Camp Dance" because he lost his glasses.
  • Boomerang Bigot: On the rare occasions he does lose his temper, it's typically to rail against some nastiness committed by the "German swine", either because he's going native, or just because of his stupidity.
  • The Bus Came Back: When René and Edith visit London in "Up the Crick Without a Piddle", they find Hans, who has been brainwashed into working for British Intelligence.
  • Catchphrase: Whenever the "Heil Hitler!" salute is used, Hans always replies with "-tler!". According to Sam Kelly this is to emphasize his laziness and NOT the result of Kelly (a Jew) refusing to give the salute, as it was often rumored.
  • Colonel Bogey March: Was taught the lyrics by a British POW and sings part of the first line to try and pass as a captured British airman in "The Great Un-Escape".
  • Cyanide Pill: Attempts to kill himself with one in "Herr Flick's Revenge", although it is from a faulty batch.
  • Disguised in Drag: Disguises as Edith to escape a jail cell in "The Execution".
  • Europeans Are Kinky: Loves when Maria uses an egg whisk in their lovemaking.
  • "Good Luck" Gesture: Gives René a thumbs up before his execution in "The Execution".
  • Harmless Lady Disguise: When he disguises himself as Edith in "The Execution".
  • Heel–Face Brainwashing: Is brainwashed into becoming a member of British Intelligence between his last appearance in "Camp Dance" and return in "Up the Crick Without a Piddle".
    Hans: Listen, an air raid! Our glorious air force, whose brave pilots defied the might of the few, have come to blow the pants off the British imperialists! Oops! I must go for some more brainwashing.
  • Lying Finger Cross: When René is about to be executed in "The Execution", but the real and fake bullets have been mixed up.
  • Minion with an F in Evil: To Colonel von Strohm and General von Klinkerhoffen as he constantly bungles any plan they come up with.
  • Mistaken for Gay: Gruber believes he and Colonel von Strohm have fallen out after both being in love with René in "The Great Un-Escape", athough it was really because his gun had been used by Edith to pretend to shoot Fifi and Gigi, two 'women of the street' (the British Airmen in disguise).
  • Mobile Shrubbery: His tree disguise in "The Nicked Knockwurst".
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: His mobile tree in "The Nicked Knockwurst".
  • Parrot Exposition: His conversation with René about a bomb in "The Gateau from the Chateau".
    René: Oh my god... It's the gateau from the chateau!
    Hans: What about the gateau from the chateau?
    René: It contains a bomb!
    Hans: A bomb in the gateau from the chateau?
  • Punch-Clock Villain: He's far more interested in Colonel von Strohm's schemes than aiding the nazis.
  • Put on a Bus: In "Prisoners of War", he is 'extracted' by the Communist Resistance and mistakenly sent to England.
  • Real Life Writes the Plot: Hans was captured by the Communist Resistance and sent to England in "Prisoners of War" because Sam Kelly wanted to leave after three series.
  • Reassigned to Antarctica: General von Klinkerhoffen is constantly threatening him with being sent to the Russian Front.
  • Skirts and Ladders: When Helga reports that her silk underwear was stolen off the line in "Swiftly and with Style", he is able to identify them as the ones with the little swastikas around the waistline. When pressed by the Colonel, he reveals he knew about that specific pair when Helga was hanging up the holly for the last Christmas party.
    Helga: No vonder you vere so keen to hold ze ladder!
  • Spy Cam: Uses one disguised as an owl in "The Nicked Knockwurst".
  • Suspiciously Idle Officers: Would rather spend most of the war having sex with waitresses and stealing artifacts.
  • Those Two Guys: With Colonel von Strohm.
  • Those Wacky Nazis: A lazy and stupid Nazi who would rather sit around at the café than do his work.
  • Translation Convention: His German is just English with a German accent.
  • Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: "The Great Un-Escape" reveals that he suffers from claustrophobia due to a childhood incident where his mother stuffed him in a suitcase.
  • Yes-Man: Goes along with any of Colonel von Strohm's plans without question.
    Lieutenant Gruber 

Lieutenant Hubert Gruber

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/gruber.jpg

Actor: Guy Siner. First appearance: "The British Are Coming".

Officer in the Panzerkorps and aide-de-camp to General von Klinkenhoffen. Polite, kindhearted, and Transparently Closeted, Gruber is most definitely not cut out for the Nazi business, and frequently helps René avoid trouble... in part due to his massive, unrequited crush on the man.
  • Abhorrent Admirer: To René.
  • Adolf Hitlarious: Disguises as Hitler in "Hitler's Last Heil", "Awful Wedded Wife", "Firing Squashed" and "A Fishful of Francs".
  • Ambiguously Bi: Was in love with René, but also marries Helga in the Distant Finale in "A Winkle in Time" and has many children with her.
  • Apologetic Attacker: Prior to carrying out some unsavory duty, such as shooting René in "The Execution". Or being uncivil in general.
  • Armed Farces: He's a Camp Gay German Lieutenant who's too polite to shoot peasants.
  • Attractive Bent-Gender: He gets the attention of René when disguised as Helga in "All in Disgeese" and some Germans when disguised as a prostitute in "Gone with the Windmill".
  • Baby Talk: Has been known to use it. He refers to his tank as "my little tank" and has officially named it Hubert, Jr. In "Gruber Does Some Mincing", he referred to one of the Garrison's German Shepherds as "the little doggie", which is 1.) an incongruously cutesy thing to call an attack guard dog; and 2.) an incongruously adorable thing for a 30-something-year-old man (and soldier, no less) to say. Also, in "Swiftly and with Style" when he was distressed that his little tank had been stolen, and was asked to describe said tank to the Gestapo, he described it as "a little armored vehicle with a big gun on top".
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: His numerous medals — which include the Iron Cross (first and second class) would imply that he's actually a fairly competent soldier, or was during his time on the Eastern Front, at least.
  • But Not Too Gay: Throughout the whole show, he is shown to have a one-sided crush on René. Come the ending in "A Winkle in Time", though, he's married to Helga and has had several children with her, indicating that their marriage has been consumated many, many times. That could also mean that he is bisexual.
  • Camp Gay: Part of the reason he is so well loved by fans.
  • Conspicuous Trenchcoat: When disguised as a Resistance girl in "A Woman Never Lies".
  • Coy, Girlish Flirt Pose: What should be a standard soldier's "at ease" pose frequently morphs into this.
  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: He is characterized as a gentle bumbler who abhors war and violence but he is a veteran of the Russian Front and occasional comments hint that he was involved in some brutal combat before he was transferred to Nouvion.
  • The Cutie: Only Gruber can make the words "Heil Hitler!" sound adorable.
  • Disguised in Drag: Quite often during Colonel von Strohm's schemes:
    • A nun ("Prisoners of War").
    • A nurse ("The Exploding Bedpan").
    • Private Helga Geerhart ("All in Disgeese").
    • A Resistance girl ("A Woman Never Lies").
    • A very ugly girl ("A Fishful of Francs").
    • Madame Fanny La Fan ("Swan Song").
    • A flamenco dancer ("Swan Song", "Gone with the Windmill").
    • A prostitute ("Gone with the Windmill").
  • Early Installment Character-Design Difference: Had more medals in "The British Are Coming".
  • Ensemble Dark Horse: Largely for his crush on Rene and for being the most adorable Nazi in fiction.
  • Fauxreigner: Disguises as a Spanish flamenco dancer to remain undetected in "Swan Song" and "Gone with the Windmill".
  • Given Name Reveal: His name isn't revealed until "The British 'ave Come".
  • Happily Married: "A Winkle in Time" reveals that he and Helga married after the war and had several children.
  • Harmless Lady Disguise: Various times throughout the show, for a full list see Disguised in Drag above.
  • I Call It "Vera": His little tank is named Hubert Jr.
  • Imagined Innuendo: René is hiding a radio behind the bar in his Café in "The Dance of Hitler Youth" and it begins spouting code phrases meant for resistance agents (usually gibberish like "Pierre enjoys riding his new bicycle"), which rouses Gruber's suspicions, so he asks René who is saying these things, and René, wanting to keep the radio a secret, claims that he's the one who said them. Unfortunately for René, the next phrase to come out of the radio is "Listen very carefully, meet me behind the woodshed at one o'clock.", which Gruber interprets this as an invitation for a quick shag, and very eagerly and happily agrees to meet René there.
  • Incompatible Orientation: He's in love with René, who is not gay at all (ironically, in real life, their sexualities are the other way around).
  • Informed Ability: The general consensus among the other characters is that he's handsome; Guy Siner is usually the first to state that he really isn't. He is, though, charming enough that it generally maintains the illusion.
  • Just Following Orders: When forced to lead the firing squad to kill René in "The Execution".
  • Kindhearted Cat Lover: He has a cat named Ginger Tom. He's also the most kindhearted and gentle member of the Garrison (and perhaps of the whole cast).
  • Last-Name Basis: He is mainly referred to as Lieutenant Gruber, or simply Gruber.
  • Master Forger: He is a (reluctant) master forger of paintings, revealing that he had spent several years before the war studying Art. He creates copies of both "The Fallen Madonna With Big Boobies by Van Clomp" and "The Cracked Vase with the Big Daisies by Van Gogh", which are stolen, confused with the originals, and generally used in the multiple bait and switch thefts throughout the series.
  • Minion with an F in Evil: The Wehrmacht handbook probably doesn't list whimpering and sniffling among things to do while conducting a firing squad, but we love Gruber all the more for doing those things.
  • The Mole: Gives René updates on the Garrison's business whenever it could harm him or his staff.
  • Nice Guy: Despite being a Nazi, Gruber is just a really sweet man.
  • The Oldest Profession: Disguises as a prostitute in "Gone With the Windmill".
  • Once Done, Never Forgotten: René never lets him forget that he led the firing squad that killed his twin brother (who was also René) in "The Execution".
  • Punch-Clock Villain: He's so nice that even calling his this is too harsh. In later seasons he effectively functions as The Mole.
  • Queer People Are Funny: His sexuality leads to a 'backs against the wall' joke in "Going Like a Bomb".
  • Reassigned to Antarctica: General von Klinkerhoffen is constantly threatening him with being sent to the Russian Front.
  • Secret Police: Dons a Gestapo disguise in "Desperate Doings in the Dungeon".
  • Serenade Your Lover: Sings love songs to René on several occasions.
  • Single-Target Sexuality: For René. Even if René is in disguise, Gruber will be drawn to him like a magnet.
  • Stealth Pun: The aide-de-camp to Colonel von Strohm.
  • Suspiciously Idle Officers: Would rather spend most of the war hitting on René.
  • Tears of Remorse: Carries a lot of guilt about conducting the firing squad that 'killed' the first René in "The Execution", and he has been seen to cry about it. Added to this is the fact that he just seems to cry about a whole lot of things in general, too.
  • Tender Tears: Can be expected to cry more than most of the main cast.
  • Those Wacky Nazis: A Nazi with a crush on René and uses Baby Talk to describe his tank.
  • The Woobie: Surprisingly, considering he is a Nazi.
  • Translation Convention: His German is just English with a German accent.
  • Yes-Man: Becomes quite a suck-up to General von Flockenstuffen after he takes control of the Garrison between "Rising to the Occasion" and "An Almighty Bang".
    Helga Geerhart 

Private Helga Geerhart

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/helga_05.jpg

Actor: Kim Hartman. First appearance: "The British Are Coming".

Colonel von Strohm's Sexy Secretary who is in love with Herr Flick of the Gestapo. Briefly became a Lance Corporal in Series 6.
  • All Girls Want Bad Boys: Her relationship with Herr Flick, as his cold exterior and cruel personality is part of why she loves him so much.
    Herr Flick: You French peasants! I am ze Gestapo. I vant zis table. Go avay or you vill be shot.
    Helga: Ve could take zat table.
    Herr Flick: Helga. Vhen I make up my mind I vant something, I alvays get it.
    Helga: Zis I know, Herr Flick. It’s vhy I find you so exciting.
  • Ambiguously Bi: When she is caught kissing another 'female Private' (Herr Flick in disguise) in "Arousing Suspicions", it can be noted that the Major was cross, but not surprised - and blamed Helga entirely.
  • Armed Farces: A Private who spends most of her screentime stripped down to her lingerie.
  • The Baroness: The Sexpot variety, as her relationship with Herr Flick proves.
  • Breast Expansion: A side effect of a truth serum Herr Flick drugs her with in "A Woman Never Lies".
  • Catchphrase: Two:
    • "BRING HIM IN HERE!" When announcing a prisoner being brought into Colonel von Strohm's office.
    • "It is I! Helga!" When revealing herself similarly to LeClerc.
  • Conspicuous Trenchcoat: When disguised as a Resistance girl in "The Nicked Knockwurst" and "A Woman Never Lies".
  • Deadpan Snarker: Has a sarcastic side which becomes more evident as her infatuation with Herr Flick slowly gives way to exasperation over the course of the series.
    Herr Flick: Ah, Helga. I vas just trying on my new boots.
    Helga: How strange. Ze boots seem too big for you. (To herself) Normally, it's ze other vay round.
  • Depending on the Writer: Zig-zags between harbouring a crush on Gruber and barely tolerating him.
  • Disguised in Drag: Quite often during Herr Flick's schemes:
    • Herr Otto Flick ("The Flying Nun", "The Sausage in the Trousers").
    • A German soldier ("All in Disgeese").
  • Does This Remind You of Anything?: Occasionally, she and Herr Flick engage in an activity that's presented in a... suggestive way, such as cranking an antique car in "Reds Nick Colonel" or inflating a tire in "Flight of Fancy".
  • Faux Affably Evil: Rather nice for a ruthless Nazi.
  • Happily Married: "A Winkle in Time" reveals that she and Gruber married after the war and had several children.
  • Informed Ability: Many comments and jokes are centered around her large bust. However, while Helga's is still quite lovely, Yvette and Michelle are more generously endowed.
    Hans: (Talking about champagne glasses modeled on bosoms) Zey should have modeled zem on Helga’s bosom. Ve vould have got a bigger drink.
  • In Love with Your Carnage: She is turned on by Herr Flick's abusive side. In "Herr Flick's Revenge", she is unable to save René, Colonel von Strohm and Hans from the Gestapo torture dungeon because she is too aroused by Herr Flick.
  • Innocently Insensitive: When she asks Herr Flick who has robbed his bank vault in "The Reluctant Millionaires".
    Helga: Who vould have ze temerity to do such a vicked deed?
    Herr Flick: Someone who hates me.
    Helga: (Beat) Everybody hates you...
  • Leg Focus: Just the sight of her legs give Monsieur Alfonse a heart attack in "The Exploding Bedpan".
  • Letting Her Hair Down: Always wears her blond hair in a beautiful milkmaid braid, but when she wants to seduce somebody or when ordered, she gladly lets her hair down.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Often strips down to her lingerie with "ze little swastikas".
  • No Indoor Voice: When announcing visitors.
  • The Oldest Profession: Disguises as a prostitute in "No Hiding Place".
  • Phrase Catcher: Herr Flick constantly tells her "You may kiss me." whenever he is flirting with her.
  • Pitbull Dates Puppy: With Herr Flick. Played for Laughs in that the roles tend to switch between the two - she is usually entirely submissive to him and even fears him a little, but she is also the more experienced in sexual matters which tend to frighten him.
  • Rank Up: Became a Lance Corporal after sucking up to General von Klinkerhoffen in "The Gestapo for the High Jump".
  • Really Gets Around: She's pretty much the town bicycle, having had "relations" with Von Strohm, Geering, Herr Flick, and Von Klinkerhoffen. She eventually marries Gruber according to the Distant Finale.
  • Running Gag: Two:
    • Has No Indoor Voice when making announcements.
    • Would passionately kiss Herr Flick while he stayed still.
  • Running Gagged: Both get gagged in "A Winkle in Time":
    • She is forced to introduce General von Klinkerhoffen with an indoor voice after he barges into Colonel von Strohm's office.
    • Refuses to kiss Herr Flick the last time he asks her.
  • Settled for Gay: Marries Gruber after the Time Skip in "A Winkle in Time". They have several children, though, so it's clearly no sham marriage.
  • Sexy Secretary: The Colonel's secretary who is the object of several of the German's affections and has several lingerie scenes.
  • Skirts and Ladders: When she reports that her silk underwear was stolen off the line in "Swiftly and with Style", Hans is able to identify them as the ones with the little swastikas around the waistline. When pressed by the Colonel, he reveals he knew about that specific pair when she was hanging up the holly for the last Christmas party.
    Helga: No vonder you vere so keen to hold ze ladder!
  • Status Quo Is God: After being promoted to a Lance Corporal by General von Klinkerhoffen in "The Gestapo for the High Jump", he demotes her back to Private five episodes later in "Crabtree's Podgeon Pist".
  • Suddenly Shouting: When announcing visitors.
  • Suspiciously Idle Officers: Would rather spend most of the war flirting with Herr Flick.
  • Those Wacky Nazis: A Nazi who spends most of her time in lingerie or providing fanservice.
  • Translation Convention: Her German is just English with a German accent.
  • Virgin in a White Dress: In "Watch the Birdie", Herr Flick brings her a black leather wedding dress, to which she questions the colour choice and Herr Flick retorts that she can hardly wear a white leather one.
  • You Can Leave Your Hat On: In "All in Disgeese", she strips down to her lingerie while still wearing a soldier's helmet.
    General von Klinkerhoffen 

Major-General Erich von Klinkerhoffen

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/kinkyhoffen.jpg

Actor: Hilary Minster. First appearance: "The Execution".

A ruthless commander who takes up residence in the Garrison at the end of Series 2. It is because of this that he is almost universally disliked by Colonel von Strohm and the other Germans – who unsuccessfully plot his assassination on more than one occasion.
  • Abhorrent Admirer: To Helga, as he would often invites her to dinners she knew she would be shot if she refused.
  • Adapted Out: Is replaced in the stage show by the Suspiciously Similar Substitute, General von Schmelling.
  • Ambiguously Bi: Finds Helga attractive, but also gets turned on by Herrs Flick and von Smallhausen dressed as maids in "Pretty Maids All in a Row", as well as Gruber when he's disguised in Helga's clothes (and he knows that it's him).
  • Appeal to Force: When Herr Flick tries to pull rank on him in "Herr Flick's Revenge", he counters that while Flick's authority comes from Berlin, his come from his gun which he promptly draws on him.
  • Armed Farces: A General who can't keep his hands off the waitresses.
  • Ascended Extra: Before joining the main cast in "Herr Flick's Revenge", he first appeared in "The Execution" in a guest role.
  • Bad Boss: He's the only German officer in the show who behaves like you'd expect a true Nazi to be like. Still pretty wacky thanks to Villain Decay.
  • Bait-and-Switch: During the interrogation of Monsieur Alfonse in "Desperate Doings in the Graveyard":
    General von Klinkerhoffen: Are you satisfied with zis explanation, Colonel?
    Colonel von Strohm: Definitely not General!
    General von Klinkerhoffen: Vell I am.
  • Big Bad: After he assumes command of the Garrison, he becomes the single greatest threat to the Resistance.
  • Breakout Villain: Had one appearance in "The Execution" when he ordered René's execution for being a member of the Resistance. He later returned to assume command of the Garrison in "Herr Flick's Revenge" after Colonel von Strohm's less than successful efforts to root out the local resistance.
  • The Bus Came Back: Returns in "Crabtree's Podgeon Pist" after going to visit Big Bertha in "The Airmen De-Nicked".
  • Characterization Marches On: Was originally a major threat, but by Series 6, he was just as silly as the rest of the Nazis.
  • Embarrassing Nickname: Two:
    • General von Flockenstuffen constantly calls him "Piggy".
    • Bertorelli tries to start up "General von Kinkyhoffen" in "The Gestapo Ruins a Picnic".
  • Europeans Are Kinky: So much so that it's earned him the nickname "General von Kinkyhoffen" from Bertorelli.
  • Fauxreigner: Disguises as the Italian Captain Bertorelli to escape the fruitcake department in "An Almighty Bang".
  • Food Slap: Gets sprayed with ice cream in "Soup and Sausage".
  • General Ripper: Not as bad as some other examples, but he is far more ruthless and strict than Colonel von Strohm is.
  • Graceful Loser: Having grown disillusioned with the Nazi agenda, when the Allied invasion reaches Nouvion in "A Winkle in Time", he decides to surrender rather than send his men into a battle he knows they can't win.
  • Historical Character's Fictional Relative: He reveals in "Herr Flick's Revenge" that his sister-in-law is Hermann Goering's mistress (the one who wears the chamois leather underclothes).
  • Insane Admiral: Especially when he goes crazy in "Rising to the Occasion".
  • In-Series Nickname: Is known as "Piggy" to General von Flockenstuffen.
  • Kick the Dog: Uses a "your mom" joke in "Who's for the Vatican?" when he tells Gruber that his posting to the Russian Front will also include his mother.
  • Last-Name Basis: He is mainly referred to as General von Klinkerhoffen, or simply the General out of respect.
  • Nazi Gold: Had four gold bars of gold stolen from his safe by René in "Flight to Geneva". The bars would end up in various different hands before finally being mistaken for a donation by a priest in "The Crooked Fences".
  • One-Steve Limit: One of Gruber's dogs in "The Nicked Knockwurst" was also named Erich.
  • Pet the Dog: When LeClerc drops a platter when doing the heil, a he calmly tells him to relax, since he's off duty. He also pardons René, Colonel von Strohm, and Hans when Flick arrests them on little more than circumstantial evidence in "Herr Flick's Revenge", treats Maria more like a houseguest than a prisoner when he holds her hostage for the return of his lawnmower in "The Sausage in the Wardrobe", and even has a friendly moment with the cantankerous and German hating Madame Fanny over their mutual love of fine wine in "The Jet-Propelled Mother-in-Law".
  • Pragmatic Villainy: Begins plotting to assassinate Hitler in "Tarts and Flickers"... but only because the war is going badly for the Germans and he considers Hitler responsible.
  • Punch-Clock Villain: Lets the peasants go about their lives when off duty.
  • Put on a Bus: Leaves the Garrison in "The Airmen De-Nicked" to visit Big Bertha until he returns in "Crabtree's Podgeon Pist".
  • Sanity Slippage: In "Crabtree's Podgeon Pist" he plots to blow up Nouvion which results in him getting sent to the fruitcake department of a German military hospital in "Rising to the Occasion".
    Lieutenant Gruber: General, in your absence, ze Colonel has been abducted, and is at zis very moment sitting on a bomb vith Herr Flick and his little assistant, von Smallhausen. Ze Resistance sent us a note saying zat if you proceed vith your plan, zey vill explode all three of zem.
    General von Klinkerhoffen: Vot is ze life of one Colonel and a couple of Gestapo officers compared to keeping law and order? And subjugating zese terrorists zat call zemselves Resistance! Ze victorious German army has svept across Europe, crushing everything in its path! Are ve to allow zese people to cock snooksies at us!? And, if the price of final victory is ze life of a Colonel, and a couple of Gestapo officers, SO BE IT!
  • Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!: When Herr Flick tries to intimidate him with retribution from his Uncle Himmler in "Herr Flick's Revenge", he counters by saying that his sister-in-law is Hermann Goering's mistress (the one who wears the chamois leather underclothes no less).
  • Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: When chewing out Herrs Flick and von Smallhausen in "The Nouvion Oars".
    General von Klinkerhoffen: Meanwhile, Berlin will be informed of your perverse antics and your recalcitrant demeanor, vich has exacerbated the quid pro quo, vis-à-vis inter-departmental relationships.
    Herr Flick: Come, von Smallhausen. To our dictionaries!
  • The Starscream: In "Tarts and Flickers", von Klinkerhoffen comes to realize that the war is already lost and puts in motion a plan to assassinate Hitler.
  • Suddenly Shouting: During his Sanity Slippage rant in "Rising to the Occasion".
    General von Klinkerhoffen: And, if the price of final victory is ze life of a Colonel, and a couple of Gestapo officers, SO BE IT!
  • Those Wacky Nazis: A pig-like Nazi who has no respect from the soldiers under his command.
  • Translation Convention: His German is just English with a German accent.
  • Villain Decay: Despite introduced to pick up the villainy slack from Herr Flick, he too went from the closest the series had to a depiction of actual Nazi officers during the French Occupation to a mentally unbalanced martinet who shared the other Germans' penchant for kinkiness in the bedroom.
  • The Von Trope Family: Darker Von Trope: Certainly falls on the sterner side of Those Wacky Nazis, and is possibly the most feared character on the show alongside Herr Flick.
  • Written-In Absence: Is not in "The Airmen De-Nicked" as he was visiting Big Bertha.
  • You Can Keep Her!: In "Ribbing the Bonk", Colonel von Strohm, Gruber and Bertorelli are kidnapped by the Communist Resistance. René then tries to take advantage of this by calling him and claiming that unless the General pays one million francs, the three will be shot. He then deadpans "Very well. Let them be shot." and hangs up. Later on, Herr Flick, not knowing of the previous call, then tries the same scheme and asks for two million francs. You can guess the result.
  • Your Mom: Gives one to Gruber in "Who's for the Vatican?" when he tells him that she will be going to the Russian Front with him.
    Captain Bertorelli 

Captain Alberto Bertorelli

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/bertorelli.jpg

Actor: Gavin Richards (Series 4-6) and Roger Kitter (Series 7). First appearance: "Good Staff are Hard to Find".

An Italian Captain who takes Hans' spot in the Garrison from Series 4 to 7. He is self-proclaimed lover of many women and has a particular fondness for Helga.
  • Abhorrent Admirer: To Helga, as he would often kiss her hand without permission.
  • Adolf Hitlarious: Disguises as Hitler in the stage show.
  • Armed Farces: A womanising moron who talks big, but doesn't have the skills to back himself up.
  • Bullying a Dragon: Laughs at Herr Flick to his face in "René - Under an Assumed Nose".
  • The Casanova: He fancies himself a ladies' man, though he's not at all very successful.
  • Catchphrase: Three:
    • "Beautiful laydee, I kiss-a your hand!" Whenever he is hitting on a woman.
    • "Whatta mistake-a to make-a!” Whenever he Didn't Think This Through beforehand and ends up screwing up. It’s also his last line on the show.
    • "Heil-a Mussolini!" When others would say "Heil Hitler!".
  • Chest of Medals: "Good Staff Are Hard to Find" reveals they are for his service in Abyssinia, service in North Africa and servicin' Fiats.
  • Dirty Coward: For all his medals and supposed bravery, he is often the first to run away with his tail between his legs.
  • Enormous Engagement Ring: When Edith was forced to get engaged to him as part of some convoluted plan in "Prior Engagements", he gets a huge ring from the Germans to impress her.
  • Eye Scream: Gets an aniseed ball to the eye in "The Gestapo for the High Jump"
  • Faux Affably Evil: Rather nice for a ruthless Italian war hero.
  • Fauxreigner: Disguises as the German General von Klinkerhoffen to help him escape the fruitcake department in "An Almighty Bang".
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: The other members of the Garrisons can't stand him, using ethnic slurs when talking about him and looking for ways to get rid of him.
    Colonel von Strohm: It’s bad enough to be an Italian, but to be a boring Italian is unforgivable.
  • Funny Background Event: When he sees Mimi being dragged through the air disguised as a nun in "The Flying Nun", he turns away and makes the Sign of the Cross.
  • Gold Digger: He courts Madame Edith because he thinks her café would make a very good business after the war.
    Captain Bertorelli: I come here today to ask for your hand in marriage. Together we have a wonderful time together. We go for walks in the moonlight. We kiss with the passion under the stars. Then we come home, and count-a the takings from the till.
  • Hidden Depths: For all his exaggerations of how brave he is, "Good Staff Are Hard to Find" reveals he is legitimately skilled at servicing Fiats and has earned several medals for it.
    General von Klinkerhoffen: You too have many medals.
    Captain Bertorelli: Me? I am hero. These here, for service in Abyssinia. These, for service in North Africa.
    General von Klinkerhoffen: And ze bottom row?
    Captain Bertorelli: They are for servicin' Fiats.
  • I Kiss Your Hand: A kiss on the hand is his greeting of choice when meeting a pretty woman, accompanied by saying "Beautiful laydee, I kiss-a your hand!".
  • Italians Talk with Hands: As "'Allo 'Allo!" features an All-Stereotype Cast, it is easy to understand why he and his men exaggerate this trope so much.
  • Last-Name Basis: He is mostly referred to as Captain Bertorelli, or simply the Captain out of respect.
  • Low Count Gag: In "Ribbing the Bonk", he is caught by the Communist Resistance and help captive alongside Colonel von Strohm and Gruber. René convinces Louise, the resistance leader not to shoot them and hold them to ransom because General von Klinkerhoffen will pay for their release. The German officers are worthy of one million francs, while he is worth only ten cans of baked beans.
  • Miles Gloriosus: Claims to be a brave Italian war hero, but is cowardly, bumbling and disliked by both the French and Germans alike.
  • Milking the Giant Cow: To over-exaggerate his use of the Italians Talk with Hands stereotype.
  • Platonic Kissing: As a stereotypical Italian he has to... but not to Gruber.
  • Put on a Bus: According to René, he returned to Italy following the Italian surrender during the two year Time Skip between "René of the Gypsies" and "A Bun in the Oven".
  • Reassigned to Antarctica: Colonel von Strohm threatens to send him to North Africa to fight Montgomery in "Going Like a Bomb".
  • Sucksessor: To Hans. None of the Germans like him, and constantly call him a wop or other demeaning names.
  • Suddenly Shouting: When dealing with his Italian soldiers, he is likely to lose his rag over the smallest offenses.
  • Suspiciously Idle Officers: Would rather spend most of the war bragging about how great he is and flirting with any woman who comes near him.
  • Translation Convention: His Italian is just Italian with an English accent.
  • Trouser Space: Has the forged Gestapo money forced into his trousers to be taken to Café René in "Going Like a Bomb".
  • Visual Pun: In "Rising to the Occasion" when General von Klinkerhoffen on a particularly long Sanity Slippage induced rant, he stands up behind him and waves a bunch of bananas in air in silent commentary of General von Klinkerhoffen's mental state.
    Corporal Caponi 

Corporal Caponi

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/caponi.jpeg

Actor: John Readman. First appearance: "The Arrival of the Homing Duck".

One of the Italian soldiers under Bertorelli's command. Appears from Series 5 to 6.
  • Armed Farces: A lazy Corporal who can't follow the simplest of instructions.
  • Dirty Coward: Alongside the rest of Bertorelli's troops. The most notable thing he does in the series is his skydiving to trick the Resistance in "The Gestapo for the High Jump", and even then Bertorelli had to literally throw him out of the plane.
  • Dressing as the Enemy: Disguises as a British airman in "The Gestapo for the High Jump" in an attempt to be taken to the Resistance headquarters. Naturally this goes completely wrong.
  • The Ghost: Never appears on-screen after the skydiving incident in "The Gestapo for the High Jump", however the next episode ("The Nouvion Oars") states that all the Italians landed safely, meaning he wasn't Killed Off for Real.
  • Italians Talk with Hands: Whenever he speaks, he has a series of gestures to go with it, much like his commanding officer.
  • Last-Name Basis: He is only known as Corporal Caponi.
  • No Full Name Given: Only referred to by his last name during his time on the show.
  • Phrase Catcher: Catches a furious "NO SMOKE-A THE FAG WHEN YOU ON-A PATROL!" from Bertorelli on more than one occasion.
  • Put on a Bus: Despite being The Ghost, he is mentioned as having moved back to Italy alongside Bertorelli and the rest of the Italian soliders during the Time Skip between "René of the Gypsies" and "A Bun in the Oven".
  • Satellite Character: Being such a minor character, the only regular he interacts with is Bertorelli.
  • Suspiciously Idle Officers: Possibly the laziest soldier in the entire show. You know someone's bad when Bertorelli has to try to bring them down to Earth.
  • Translation Convention: His Italian is simply English with an Italian accent.
    General von Flockenstuffen 

General Leopold von Flockenstuffen

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/flockenstuffen.jpg

Actor: Ken Morley. First appearance: "Watch the Birdie".

A Camp Gay German General who occasionally visits the Garrison to pick up General von Klinkerhoffen's slack. Appears from Series 5 to 7.
  • Armed Farces: A General who doesn't have much to talk about other than the fact he's the most Camp Gay person on the show.
  • Ash Face: After being blown up by a stick of dynamite disguised as a candle in "An Almighty Bang".
  • Camp Gay: Tries to pick up René at the General's conference in "An Enigma Variation", and redecorates General von Klinkerhoffen's office in garish pinks in "A Quiet Honeymoon".
  • Insane Admiral: Less than General von Klinkerhoffen, but he still has his moments.
  • Intoxication Ensues: He gets drunk in "An Almighty Bang", leading to him accidentally blowing himself up. He survives this.
  • Last-Name Basis: He is usually only referred to as General von Flockenstuffen, or the General out of respect.
  • Non-Fatal Explosions: A stick of dynamite disguised as a candle blows him up in "An Almighty Bang", only leaving him disoriented.
  • Put on a Bus: Is sent to a German military hospital after being blown up by a stick of dynamite disguised as a candle in "An Almighty Bang".
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: When compared to General von Klinkerhoffen, he is a lot saner and less quick to anger.
  • Sanity Slippage: After being blown up by a stick of dynamite disguised as a candle in "An Almighty Bang", he can't cope and is sent to a German military hospital.
  • Those Wacky Nazis: A Camp Gay German General.
  • Translation Convention: His German is just English with a German accent.
    Elsa Bigstern 

Private Elsa Bigstern

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/elsa_bigstern.jpg

Actor: Louise Gold. First appearance: "Soup and Sausage".

Helga's Temporary Substitute for the last two episodes of Series 7. Forceful, booming, and in love with Herr Flick.
  • Abhorrent Admirer: Herr Flick isn't fond of her as he was of Helga, due to the fact she is much more intimidating and constantly giving him a Forceful Kiss.
  • Armed Farces: A Brawn Hilda who forcefully has her way with members of the Gestapo she finds appealing.
  • The Baroness: The Sexpot variant, as her brief affair with Herr Flick proves.
  • Borrowed Catch Phrase: Uses Herr Flick's "You may kiss me." against him in "Soup and Sausage" after he tries to hit on her.
  • Brawn Hilda: She exaggerates Helga's Baroness and No Indoor Voice traits and adds Amazonian strength. When Herr Flick asks her out in "Soup and Sausage", she effortlessly dominates him.
  • Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Disappears after "René of the Gypsies".
  • Effortless Amazonian Lift: Responds to Herr Flick's usual "You may kiss me" in "Soup and Sausage" by grabbing him by the lapels and lifting him off the ground into a kiss
  • Forceful Kiss: In "Soup and Sausage", she grabs Herr Flick by the collar and gives him one that leaves him speechless.
  • Hidden Depths: Brawn Hilda persona aside, she reveals to be a surprisingly talented singer.
  • Meaningful Name: Big and stern, just like her last name.
  • No Indoor Voice: Her only tone of voice is a loud German warble.
  • Suspiciously Idle Officers: Would rather spend most of the war dominating Herr Flick.
  • Temporary Substitute: Takes over for Helga in "Soup and Sausage" and "René of the Gypsies" while she goes on a training course.
  • Translation Convention: Her German is just English with a German accent.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: Leaves the show during the Time Skip between "René of the Gypsies" and "A Bun in the Oven", however unlike the British Airmen or Captain Bertorelli, her absence is never explained and Helga is back in her old position.
    Clarence 

Clarence

The unseen driver of Gruber's little tank.
  • The Ghost: He is constantly in the driver's compartment of Gruber's little tank, but we never see him.
  • He Who Must Not Be Seen: Never depicted on-screen at any point in the show.
  • No Full Name Given: Only referred to by his first name during his time on the show.
  • Satellite Character: As he drives his little tank, the only character to mention him constantly is Gruber.

Gestapo

    Herr Flick 

Sturmbannführer Otto Flick

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/flick.jpg

Actor: Richard Gibson (Series 1-8) and David Janson (Series 9). First appearance: "The British Are Coming".

Ruthless, poker-faced officer of The Gestapo who holds the rank of SS-Sturmbannführer. He is in love with the Colonel's secretary, Helga and gets plastic surgery in Series 9 to help avoid Resistance detection.
  • 0% Approval Rating: In "The Reluctant Millionaires", his attempt to find out who stole one million francs from his personal account runs into problems because he defines a suspect as 'someone who hates him'. Helga points out that everyone hates him.
  • Ash Face: After being blown up by an exploding safe in "The Dreaded Circular Saw", with plastic explosives in "René - Under an Assumed Nose" and an exploding picture frame in "A Fishy Send-Off".
  • Attractive Bent-Gender: General von Klinkerhoffen has been aroused by his French Maid disguise in "Pretty Maids All in a Row" and his Irma von Kinkenrotten disguise in "The Flying Nun".
  • Bad Boss: Never hesitates to physically abuse Herr von Smallhausen when he gets on his nerves.
  • Bandaged Face: Throughout "Gone with the Windmill" and briefly in "A Tour de France" after his Magic Plastic Surgery.
  • Big Bad Ensemble: As the town's chief Gestapo officer, Flick has a greater deal of autonomy than the other Germans. And while he might occasionally work with Klinkerhoffen or Von Strohm; like most of the cast he's more or less in it for himself be it tracking down the Resistance of getting his hands on The Fallen Madonna.
  • Blind Without 'Em: Has trouble seeing after his glasses are smashed in "Fleeing Monks".
  • Bondage Is Bad: Very kinky as his escapades with Helga prove.
  • Captain Morgan Pose: While Disguised in Drag as the lingerie-clad Irma von Kinkenrotten in "The Flying Nun".
  • Catchphrase: "You may kiss me." Phrase Catcher of this one is naturally Helga.
  • Characterization Marches On: Was originally a very stoic and flat villain but the writers quickly realized how talented Richard Gibson was at playing The Comically Serious, so he quickly became a driving force of much of the comedy.
    Herr Flick: (Disguised as a baby) My name is Herr Otto Flick of ze Gestapo. One more crack like zat and you vill be shot vith ze pistol concealed in my dolly.
  • The Comically Serious: A lot of comedy comes from Herr Flick saying and doing utterly ridiculous things with a completely straight face.
  • Complexity Addiction: The words "simple plan" seemingly don't exist in the Gestapo dictionary.
  • Conspicuous Trenchcoat: When disguised as a Resistance girl in "The Nicked Knockwurst", "A Woman Never Lies", "Hitler's Last Heil", "Awful Wedded Wife" and "Firing Squashed".
  • The Coroner Doth Protest Too Much: In "Six Big Boobies", he explains that an artist who knew too much fell out of a Gestapo car, over a bridge, onto a railway and was run down by the Berlin Express. He then goes on to mention it was an accident.
  • Crazy-Prepared: Seemingly has Gestapo equipment for any task, including a record for tricking French peasants into believing you speak English.
  • Creepy Crossdresser: "Pigeon Post" reveals he and Helga have the same taste in underwear (pink lingerie).
  • Department of Redundancy Department: His Irma von Kinkenrotten in "The Flying Nun" is described by him as one of Helga's "most intimate female girlfriends".
  • Disguised in Drag: Quite often during his schemes:
    • A Resistance girl ("The Nicked Knockwurst", "A Woman Never Lies", "Hitler's Last Heil", "Awful Wedded Wife", "Firing Squashed").
    • A French Maid ("Pretty Maids All in a Row", "An Enigma Variation").
    • Irma von Kinkenrotten ("The Flying Nun", "The Sausage in the Trousers", "The Jet-Propelled Mother-in-Law", "Desperate Doings in the Dungeon").
    • A German Private ("Arousing Suspicions").
    • Yvette Carte-Blanche ("Tarts and Flickers").
  • Disc-One Final Boss: Until the arrival of General von Klinkerhoffen, he was the primary antagonist of the series, most other members of the German army being Those Wacky Nazis.
  • Does This Remind You of Anything?: Occasionally, he and Helga engage in an activity that's presented in a... suggestive way, such as cranking an antique car in "Reds Nick Colonel" or inflating a tire in "Flight of Fancy".
  • Dope Slap: Whenever Herr von Smallhausen does something stupid, he hits him in the head with his walking stick.
  • The Dreaded: Most of the rest of the cast are terrified of him, with good justification - daft moments and terrible plans aside.
  • Epic Fail: His escape attempts in "A Winkle in Time" end with him crashing through the wall of Café René... which happens to be full of British airmen.
    • On a smaller scale, his attempts to apologise to Helga in "Leg It to Spain!".
    Herr Flick: Perhaps you vill melt when I read you zis poem. "I love you more zan vords can say, from your head down to your toes, I am lost for vords to show my love, so please accept zis rose.".
    Helga: (Beat) Zat is a dead cod.
    Herr Flick: Roses are out of season.
  • Europeans Are Kinky: He often handcuffs Helga in his office, not to mention his love for black leather.
  • Evil Cripple: Walks with a permanent limp, just like every other member of the Gestapo.
  • Evil Wears Black: A menacing member of the Gestapo, dressed head to toe in black leather.
  • Expy: Of Toht from Raiders of the Lost Ark, both being menacing, stoic, Gestapo members dressed in leather.
  • Fauxreigner: Disguises as the French Yvette Carte-Blanche to infiltrate Café René in "Tarts and Flickers".
  • French Maid: Disguises as one in "Pretty Maids All in a Row" and "An Enigma Variation".
  • Germanic Depressives: The only emotion he expresses outside of his stoic demeanor is anger, and even that is rare.
  • Germanic Efficiency: Has Gestapo manuals for any task, from learning to swim to pretending to speak English.
  • Harmless Lady Disguise: Various times throughout the show, for a full list see Disguised in Drag above.
  • Have I Mentioned I Am in the Gestapo Today?: Will use Gestapo as an adjective for anything, e.g. "Gestapo binoculars".
  • Hell-Bent for Leather: Wears a leather coat as part of his Gestapo outfit.
  • Historical Character's Fictional Relative: The godson of Heinrich Himmler.
  • Incredibly Conspicuous Drag: His disguise as a female Private in "Arousing Suspicions" looks decent... until he's forced to do jumping jacks in his lingerie and his fake breasts go flying.
  • Injured Limb Episode: Is left with his arm and leg in plaster in "The Confusion of the Generals" after being blown up in the previous episode ("René - Under an Assumed Nose".
  • Insistent Terminology: Will use Gestapo as an adjective for anything he owns - Gestapo binoculars or Gestapo hat for instance.
  • Ironic Echo: In his first scene in "The British Are Coming", he finds fault with Helga's uniform, telling her that the top button of her jacket is undone, and that the seams on her stockings are crooked. In "The Flying Nun", when he(disguised as Irma von Kinkenrotten, a female stenographer) is substituting for Helga, he finds himself on the receiving end of the same lines from General von Klinkerhoffen.
  • Last-Name Basis: Only referred to as Herr Flick, out of fear and respect.
  • Magic Plastic Surgery: He did this in order in "Gone with the Windmill" to escape the Allies, explaining his new actor.
  • Meaningful Name: His last name comes from "Flic" — an insulting French term for a police officer. "Fick" is also German for "Fuck", causing some confusion when he introduces himself as "Flick, the Gestapo" in "The Policeman Cometh". There's also his comb-over hairstyle — literally a "hair flick".
  • My Girl Is a Slut: In "Watch the Birdie", he brings Helga a black leather wedding dress, to which she questions the colour choice and he retorts that she can hardly wear a white leather one.
  • Non-Fatal Explosions: Is blown up by an exploding safe in "The Dreaded Circular Saw", with plastic explosives in "René - Under an Assumed Nose" and by an exploding picture frame in "A Fishy Send-Off", and left with nothing more than an Ash Face.
  • The Nth Doctor: Gets Magic Plastic Surgery in "Gone with the Windmill" to explain the change in actor from Richard Gibson to David Janson.
  • Oh, Crap!: He is initially unimpressed when General von Klinkerhoffen mentions that his wife’s sister is Herman Goering's mistress (apparently he has many mistresses) in "Herr Flick's Revenge" but then he finds out that she is the one who wears the chamois leather underclothes...
  • One, Two, Skip a Few: In the stage show, a scene begins with him doing push-ups and when Helga enters, he adds a thousand to his count to look more impressive.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: Most of his disguises are ruined by his trademark stoniness and limp.
  • Pitbull Dates Puppy: With Helga. Played for Laughs in that the roles tend to switch between the two - Helga is usually entirely submissive to him and even fears him a little, but she is also the more experienced in sexual matters which tend to frighten him.
  • Real Life Writes the Plot: The reason behind his Magic Plastic Surgery in "Gone with the Windmill" was because Richard Gibson couldn't do Series 9.
  • Running Gag: If frustrated with Herr von Smallhausen, or sometimes for no reason at all, he would often clonk him on the head with his walking stick.
  • Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!: He's not above calling his "Uncle Heiny" (Heinrich Himmler) for favors and money.
  • Screw This, I'm Out of Here!: In Series 9, he realizes that Germany's loss is inevitable and enacts an escape plan, altering his face with cosmetic surgery in "Gone With the Windmill" and building a home made two person submarine so that he and Herr von Smallhausen can escape into the Atlantic and rendezvous with his uncle Heinrich. Unfortunately in "A Winkle in Time", a course miscalculation lands them right in the dining area of Café René and into the hands of the Allied invasion.
  • Secret Police: The series' most frequently appearing Gestapo officer. Just his name spreads fear in the Café.
  • Serious Business: Absolutely everything. Including Monopoly.
  • The Spock: Tense, stoic and has an over-complicated plan for any situation
  • Spock Speak: Has a flat way of speaking completely devoid of emotion, aside from a very rare anger.
  • The Starscream: Despite the fact that they both work for the Nazis, he hates General von Klinkerhoffen and has tried to assassinate him several times.
  • The Stoic: The only emotion he shows is anger, and even that is rare.
  • They Call Me MISTER Tibbs!: Soon after becoming romantically involved with him, Helga once calls him "Otto". He sharply tells her to address him as "Herr Flick".
  • That Makes Me Feel Angry: He rarely outwardly shows any emotion except anger, even if he says he's feeling it.
  • Those Two Guys: With his little assistant, Herr von Smallhausen from Series 3 onwards.
  • Those Wacky Nazis: A member of the Gestapo with a penchant for stupid plans and terrible disguises.
  • Translation Convention: His German is just English with a German accent.
  • Truth Serums: Had a habit of using these from Series 5 onwards, although they always had noticeable side effects (Helga's Breast Expansion in "A Woman Never Lies" is particularly memorable).
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: He and Herr von Smallhausen are noticeably absent from the Distant Finale in "A Winkle in Time". Then again, considering that the last we see of them is when they mess up their escape route during the Allied invasion and burst through the wall of Café René while it's full of British soldiers, along with being the nephew and godson of Heinrich Himmler and it's safe to assume things didn't work out for them.
  • Villain Decay: As detailed under Characterization Marches On, Herr Flick was genuinely sinister in his early appearances, until the writers discovered Richard Gibson's gift for delivering silly lines in a completely serious tone of voice.
    Herr Flick: (To the tune of the Hokey-Cokey) You put your left boot in, you take your left boot out, you do a lot of shouting, and you shake your fists about, you light a little smokey and you burn down ze town, zat's vot it's all about. Heil! Ah, Himmler, Himmler, Himmler...
  • Wicked Cultured: Plays the violin and is trying to seize the Fallen Madonna for himself.
    Von Smallhausen 

Herr Bobby Cedric "Engelbert" von Smallhausen

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/smallhausen.jpg

Actor: John Louis Mansi. First appearance: "The Duel".

Herr Flick's little assistant. Originally just as menacing as him in his first few appearances, however, he quickly succumbed to Villain Decay. Introduced in Series 2.
  • Abhorrent Admirer: To Helga in the later series, as she found him creepy and annoying.
  • Adapted Out: Is absent in the stage show.
  • Ascended Extra: Originally appeared as a guest character in "The Duel" until he was written in as Flick's full-time sidekick.
  • Ash Face: After being blown up by an exploding safe in "The Dreaded Circular Saw" and an exploding picture frame in "A Fishy Send-Off".
  • Attractive Bent-Gender: His French Maid disguise turns on General von Klinkerhoffen in "Pretty Maids All in a Row" and gets him groped by a German General in "An Enigma Variation".
  • Bandage Mummy: After being hit by an explosion in "The Dreaded Circular Saw".
  • Blind Without 'Em: After his glasses are smashed in "Fleeing Monks".
  • Butt-Monkey: One of the most unfortunate characters in the series. In addition to being regularly abused by Herr Flick, he often suffers amusing mishaps, such as falling off the roof of Café René in "Camp Dance" or being crushed by a church bell in "Puddings Can Go Off".
  • Characterization Marches On: Was originally a very stoic and flat villain in Series 2, but the writers quickly realized that he was much funnier as a bumbling Butt-Monkey.
  • Cordon Bleugh Chef: Makes a hollandaise sauce containing tulips in "A Fishful of Francs".
    Herr Flick: An unusual recipe, known only to von Smallhausen and ze inmates of ze Amsterdam nuthouse.
  • Conspicuous Trenchcoat: When disguised as a Resistance girl in "The Nicked Knockwurst", "A Woman Never Lies", "Hitler's Last Heil", "Awful Wedded Wife" and "Firing Squashed".
  • Disguised in Drag: Quite often during Herr Flick's schemes:
    • A Resistance girl ("The Nicked Knockwurst", "A Woman Never Lies", "Hitler's Last Heil", "Awful Wedded Wife", "Firing Squashed").
    • A French Maid ("Pretty Maids All in a Row", "An Enigma Variation").
    • A nurse ("The Sausage in the Trousers").
    • A fishwife ("A Duck for Launch").
    • A German Private ("Arousing Suspicions").
    • Mimi Labonq ("Tarts and Flickers").
  • Evil Cripple: Walks with a limp like all Gestapo members, and was originally a very menacing villain.
  • Evil Wears Black: Dressed head to toe in black leather, and was originally a very menacing villain.
  • Fauxreigner: Disguises as the French Mimi Labonq to infiltrate Café René in "Tarts and Flickers".
  • French Maid: Disguises as one in "Pretty Maids All in a Row" and "An Enigma Variation".
  • Given Name Reveal: His first name was thought to be Engelbert, until he reveals it to be Bobby Cedric while hypnotized in "Dinner with the General".
  • Got Me Doing It: Starts copying Crabtree's mangled French after selling fish to him in "A Duck for Launch".
  • Harmless Lady Disguise: Various times throughout the show, for a full list see Disguised in Drag above.
  • Hidden Depths: "Pretty Maids All in a Row" reveals he was educated at Oxford which allowed him to properly translate the coded messages, when he and Flick listened in on British Intelligence's messages to the Resistance, recognizing them as English Nursery Rhymes.
  • Incredibly Conspicuous Drag: His disguise as a female Private in "Arousing Suspicions" looks decent... until he's forced to do jumping jacks in his lingerie and his fake breasts go flying.
  • Last-Name Basis: He is only referred to as von Smallhausen out of respect, or in Herr Flick's case, disdain.
  • Meaningful Name: His last name is "von Smallhausen", fitting for a tiny little man.
  • Minion with an F in Evil: He is utterly useless, and Herr Flick often hits him for this reason.
  • Non-Fatal Explosions: Is blown up by a safe and a picture frame in "The Dreaded Circular Saw" and "A Fishy Send-Off" respectively, both times making a quick recovery.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: Most of his disguises make no effort to hide his limp.
  • Romantic Runner-Up: He seems to be pining for Helga in the later series.
  • Running Gag: Getting a walking stick to the head courtesy of Herr Flick whenever he says or does something stupid.
  • Secret Police: The second most frequent Gestapo officer to appear on the show. Originally was a much straighter take on the trope until he became a complete idiot.
  • Spy Cam: Has one under his pocket he uses to take photos of Generals believed to be plotting to blow up Hitler in "An Enigma Variation".
  • Those Two Guys: With Herr Flick, seeing as he is his little assistant.
  • Those Wacky Nazis: A short Nazi who will fumble with the simplest tasks.
  • Translation Convention: His German is just English with a German accent.
  • Villain Decay: Was a cold, unsettling character in his first appearance in "The Duel", but quickly became a dimwitted buffoon who makes a complete hash of anything Herr Flick orders him to do by "The Nicked Knockwurst".
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: He and Herr Flick are noticeably absent from the Distant Finale in "A Winkle in Time". Then again, considering that the last we see of them is when they mess up their escape route during the Allied invasion and burst through the wall of Café René while it's full of British soldiers, it's safe to assume things didn't work out for them.
  • Yes-Man: Agrees with all of Herr Flick's plans, no matter how foolish.

Nouvion Townspeople

    Monsieur Alfonse 

Monsieur Alfonse

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/alfonse.jpg

Actor: Kenneth Connor. First appearance: "The Funeral".

A man of many occupations: Mayor of Nouvion, photographer, vineyard owner, sculptor, photographer, etc. However, he is first and foremost the town's undertaker (slogan "Swiftly and with style.") and thus is always seen in the traditional top hat and dark clothes. Pines for Edith but agrees to back off due to his unwarranted admiration for René, "the bravest man in all of France".
  • Adapted Out: Is absent from the stage show.
  • Ascended Extra: Before joining the main cast in "Swiftly and with Style", he first appeared in "The Funeral" in a guest role.
  • Catchphrase: Two:
    • "Oh, my dicky ticker!" Whenever he would get aroused.
    • "Swiftly and with style." The slogan for his undertaking business.
  • Cool Old Guy: In addition to being a major supporter of the local resistance, Monsieur Alfonse is revealed in "The Duel" to be a crack shot despite his age and and fearlessly challenges the much younger Reneé, showing nerves of steel when he arrives at the duel and intimidating René into fleeing for his life.
  • Covert Pervert: A notorious bottom-pincher, his main target is Edith.
  • Didn't Think This Through: Tries killing General von Klinkerhoffen with poisoned wine in "The Jet-Propelled Mother-in-Law". However, he ends up with the poisoned glass, so he's forced to spit it out, and the Germans do the same to their own wine, thinking it's the "fancy" way to taste wine.
  • Dirty Old Man: A notorious bottom-pincher. A particular turn-on of his are black suspenders, the sight of Helga's in "The Exploding Bedpan" send him straight to the hospital.
  • Dogged Nice Guy: Really loves Edith, but she would never leave René.
  • Fauxreigner: Disguises as a Spanish guitar player to fool the Germans in "Arousing Suspicions".
  • Glove Slap: Challenges René to a duel this way in "Swiftly and with Style".
  • Hollywood Heart Attack: Hence his catchphrase. He is sent to hospital by one in "The Exploding Bedpan".
  • May–December Romance: Averted. Monsier Alfonse is genuinely in love with Edith despite being old enough to be her father but respects René, the Hero of the Resistance, too much to pursue her.
  • My Card: Early on he would introduce himself as "Monsieur Alfonse, undertaker. Swiftly and with style.".
  • New Job as the Plot Demands: Is an undertaker, the Mayor of Nouvion, a photographer, vineyard owner, sculptor, photographer. "Prior Engagements" lampshades this, as Helga introduces several important dignitaries in Nouvion, and only he enters.
  • No Full Name Given: Only referred to by his first name during his time on the show.
  • Translation Convention: His French is just English with a French accent.
  • Uncle Pennybags: The wealthiest man in Nouvion and Michelle's top financier.
    Madame Lennard 

Madame Lennard

The unseen milliner and dressmaker of Nouvion. Is mentioned to be quite well endowed by René and other male characters.
  • Everyone Looks Sexier if French: A French women who is considered the most beautiful woman in town.
  • The Ghost: Is only mentioned by others.
  • Informed Ability: Has quite large breasts, though we never get to see them.
  • Last-Name Basis: She is only referred to as Madame Lennard.
  • No Full Name Given: Only referred to by her last name during her time on the show.
  • She Who Must Not Be Seen: Never depicted on-screen at any point in the show.
  • Small Role, Big Impact: In "A Bun in the Oven", it was revealed Yvette was pregnant with a child believed to be René's, setting up a Story Arc throughout Series 8, until "Swan Song" it is revealed that Yvette's pregnancy test was mixed up with Madame Lennard's (it is then implied that her child is René's).

British Airmen

    Fairfax and Carstairs 

RAF Flight Lieutenants Gavin Fairfax and "Bumbly" Carstairs

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/airmen.jpg

Actors: John D. Collins (Fairfax) and Nicholas Frankau (Carstairs). First appearance: "The British Are Coming".

A pair of British pilots who were shot down over Nouvion. One of the main plots of the show was trying to get the British Airmen safely back to England, unfortunately, the language barrier between the pair and the French characters as well the Resistance's wacky plots to accomplish this make it so that Failure Is the Only Option. Eventually they do make it home somehow during a Time Skip between Series 7 and 8, but briefly reappear during the Series Finale.
  • Attractive Bent-Gender: General von Klinkerhoffen is attracted to their Fifi and Gigi disguises from "Pretty Maids All in a Row", and their cabaret dancer disguises in "Prisoners of War" manage to get some high ranking German's heads turning.
  • Back for the Finale: They return in "A Winkle in Time", a full year after their last appearance in "René of the Gypsies".
  • The Bus Came Back: During the Allied Invasion in "A Winkle in Time", their glider was shot down, forcing them to once again seek shelter at Café René.
  • Catchphrase: "Hello!" "Hello!"
  • Conspicuous Trenchcoat: When disguised as Resistance girls in "Herr Flick's Revenge".
  • Demoted to Extra: In the stage show. They only make infrequent appearances, and the actors who portray them double as stage crew.
  • Disguised in Drag: Quite often during Michelle's Resistance schemes:
    • A pair of Hitler Youth girls ("The Dance of Hitler Youth").
    • A pair of nuns ("Six Big Boobies", "The Wooing of Widow Artois").
    • A pair of Resistance girls ("Herr Flick's Revenge").
    • A pair of old biddies ("The Nicked Knockwurst").
    • Fifi and Gigi ("Pretty Maids All in a Row", "The Great Un-Escape").
    • A pair of cabaret dancers ("Prisoners of War", "Camp Dance").
    • Madame Fanny's bridesmaids ("Crabtree's Podgeon Pist", "Rising to the Occasion").
    • A pair of scrubbing ladies ("An Almighty Bang", "Fleeing Monks").
  • The Dreaded: At Café René. When they return in "A Winkle in Time", everyone, even Michelle (who made them stay at the café in the first place), are horrified that they have to look after the British idiots again.
  • Faking the Dead: Both get disguised as corpses to get past a roadblock in "Herr Flick's Revenge".
  • Fauxreigner: Their various disguises throughout the series were mostly assorted French peasants.
  • Harmless Lady Disguise: Various times throughout the show, for a full list see Disguised in Drag above.
  • I Am Very British: Both speak in very exaggerated upper class British accents. Jolly good and all!
  • Incredibly Conspicuous Drag: "Six Big Boobies" and "The Wooing of Widow Artois" have them disguised as nuns... with mustaches!
  • Language Barrier: They don't speak a word of French - causing many a headache for René and the café gang.
  • Last-Name Basis: They only call each other Fairfax and Carstairs. Fairfax's first name (Gavin) is only revealed during a radio call in "The Gateau from the Chateau".
  • No Full Name Given: Carstairs is only referred to by his last name during his time on the show.
  • The Oldest Profession: They disguise as Fifi and Gigi, two "women of the street" in "Pretty Maids All in a Row" and "The Great Un-Escape".
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: Carstairs' first name was never revealed, only his nickname "Bumbly".
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: As mentioned above, "Six Big Boobies" and "The Wooing of Widow Artois" have them as nuns with mustaches. They also have a shocking pantomime cow in "The Policeman Cometh".
  • The Pollyanna: Both are unfailingly optimistic and chipper despite the Resistance's constant failures to send them home.
  • Put on a Bus: After several failed attempts, they somehow escaped back to England during the two year Time Skip between "René of the Gypsies" and "A Bun in the Oven", much to René's relief.
  • Quintessential British Gentleman: Both are polite, upper-class and say things like "Bang on".
  • Those Two Guys: Those two British officers in the same uniform. They also always wear the same generic outfit as a part of the escape attempts.
  • Stiff Upper Lip: No matter how dire the situation is, they never lose their cheerful disposition.

British Intelligence

    Officer Crabtree 

Officer Crabtree

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/crabtree.jpg

Actor: Arthur Bostrom. First appearance: "The Policeman Cometh".

A British secret agent undercover in Nouvion posing as a Gendarme. Legendary for his atrocious French which manifests as a highly exaggerated French accent full of malapropers and Accidental Innuendo ("I was just pissing by..."), which somehow never raise suspicion. He often aids the Resistance, much to the chagrin of René and co. Introduced in Series 2.
  • Accidental Misnaming: His poor French makes this common for him:
    • René becomes Ronnie.
    • Yvette becomes Yvotte.
    • Mimi becomes Moomoo.
    • Madame Fanny becomes Madame Finny.
    • Monsieur LeClerc becomes Monsieur LeClock.
    • Monsieur Alfonse becomes Monsieur Alfinse.
    • Colonel von Strohm becomes Colonel von Streem.
    • Lieutenant Gruber becomes Lieutenant Greeber.
    • Herr Flick becomes Herr Flock.
    • Herr von Smallhausen becomes Herr von Smellhorsen.
    • Hitler becomes Hotler.
  • Attractive Bent-Gender: His Resistance girl disguise in "The Nouvion Oars" manages to get some peasants in the café's heads turning, to which he tells them off for being "soxist".
  • Becoming the Mask: He very quickly settles into his role as a Gendarme and sometimes seems to forget that he's an undercover British spy and not actually a real French policeman, to the exasperation of René and his compatriots. The 2007 reunion special "The Return of 'Allo 'Allo!" reveals that after the war, he never left and remained on the police force.
  • Bedmate Reveal: Pops out of Madame Fanny's bed and gives Edith a shock in "Camp Dance".
  • Catchphrase: "Good moaning!".
  • Completely Unnecessary Translator: In the 2007 reunion special "The Return of 'Allo 'Allo!", he invites some studio audience members on stage and tries to teach them how to speak French (English with his mangled accent).
  • Conspicuous Trenchcoat: When disguised as a Resistance girl in "The Gestapo for the High Jump" and "The Nouvion Oars".
  • Disguised in Drag: Quite often during Michelle's Resistance schemes:
    • A Resistance girl with big ears ("The Gestapo for the High Jump", "The Nouvion Oars").
    • A flamenco dancer ("Arousing Suspicions").
  • Dreadful Musician: His tone is honestly really good, however his awful French makes any song incomprehensible.
    Officer Crabtree: Every little bruise seems to twitter "Lou-ooze", birds in the trooes seem to twotter "Lou-ooze". Each little roose, tells me he knoose, I live you! Live you!
  • Fauxreigner: Pretends to be French to keep the fact he is a British Agent a secret. He also disguises as a Spanish flamenco dancer to fool the Germans in "Arousing Suspicions".
  • Harmless Electrocution: Gets electrocuted by a battery disguised as a cake in "The Camera in the Potato", and is no worse for wear after.
  • Harmless Lady Disguise: Various times throughout the show, for a full list see Disguised in Drag above.
  • I Am Very British: Whenever he speaks English, he speaks in a stereotypical plummy "I say chaps" style.
  • Iconic Sequel Character: Only introduced in Series 2, yet one of the series' most popular characters thanks to his odd accent and frequent Accidental Innuendo.
  • Incredibly Conspicuous Drag: His Resistance girl disguise in "The Gestapo for the High Jump" and "The Nouvion Oars" makes no effort to hide his mustache.
  • Language Barrier: He could speak English and French to talk to the café gang and the airmen, although his French was so bad it was almost impossible to know what he was saying.
  • Last-Name Basis: He is only referred to as Officer Crabtree out of respect.
  • Malaproper: In spades. His terrible French accent means he can't go one sentence with at least three errors.
    Officer Crabtree: I was pissing by the door when I heard two shats. You are holding in your hand a smoking goon, you are clearly the guilty potty!
  • My Hovercraft Is Full of Eels: While he technically knows the right words, his pronunciation is horrific and he usually comes out with ridiculous (and sometimes naughty-sounding) sentences such as "I was pissing (passing) by the door." which somehow rarely caught the attention of the Germans.
  • No Full Name Given: Only referred to by his last name during his time on the show.
  • Stealth Parody: Of former British Prime Minister Edward Heath, who spoke French, but kept his British accent.
  • The Stoic: Other than his bad French, his main character trait is his completely unflappable nature. He seldom gets excited about anything and takes whatever life throws at him with the same amount of calm.
  • Ship Tease: When René and Edith are forced to pose as the doubles of Goering and Hitler respectively after Colonel von Strohm allowed the real doubles to be assassinated in "A Fishful of Francs", the café staff go to get help and find him and Michelle engaged in a 'late night staff meeting'.
  • Tactful Translation: Provides this (with the meta version of Completely Unnecessary Translator) in the reunion special "The Return of 'Allo 'Allo!", when he invites some audience members onto the stage to visit Rene's cafe.
    René: Right, English cretins! Why do you not take a seat here, and sit down? These are known as chairs. Maybe you do not have them in England? But please, be welcomed — you set of fools.
    Officer Crabtree: He says it's very nice to meet you, and thank you for all your help during the war.
  • Translation Convention: His malapropers are meant to indicate his poor grasp of French (a few one-off British characters show the same speech patterns as a Running Gag). Whenever he speaks in English, he speaks perfectly normally.
    • According to "The Return of 'Allo 'Allo!", Crabtree's seemingly random pronunciation errors are not random at all. Notice how almost all his errors are vowel-related? It's apparently a Stealth Parody on former British Prime Minister Edward Heath, who spoke quite a bit of French, but consistently messed up the pronunciation of the vowels.
  • Trouser Space: Has dynamite hidden in sausages down his pants in "The Sausage in the Trousers".
  • What the Hell Is That Accent?: His French is atrocious because he never gets the vowels right.
    Officer Crabtree: You should be grateful that the RAF bummers are still farting for freedom.

Communist Resistance

    Denise Laroque 

Denise Laroque

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/denise_communist_resistance_0.jpg

Actor: Moira Foot. First appearance: "The Dreaded Circular Saw".

The ruthless leader of the Communist Resistance and René's childhood sweetheart. Only appears in Series 5.
  • And Now You Must Marry Me: Forces René to marry her somewhat unintentionally in "Otherwise Engaged" - René won't refuse because she killed the only man who ever broke her heart.
  • Bride and Switch: Michelle traps her in a coal mine in "A Marriage of Inconvenience", so Edith can take her place and re-marry René.
  • Bus Crash: When she and Louise are Put on a Bus in "Going Like a Bomb", Louise tells René she will kill her and return to him soon. One series later in "Rising to the Occasion", Louise returns as the new head of the Communist Resistance and Denise is nowhere to be seen.
  • Character Death: Had been a recurring character throughout the middle part of Series 5, then was Killed Off for Real via a Bus Crash at the hands of Louise.
  • Dirty Communist: The former leader of a violent Communist Resistance movement.
  • Killed Off for Real: Dies by Louise's jealous hand sometime between "Going Like a Bomb" and "Rising to the Occasion".
  • Killed Offscreen: Louise kills her and usurps her position sometime between "Going Like a Bomb" and "Rising to the Occasion".
  • La Résistance: The former leader of the ruthless Communist Resistance who aim to liberate France from the Germans.
  • The Mistress: René cheats on Edith with her.
  • Put on a Bus: Leaves Café René in "Going Like a Bomb" to move to another safehouse.
  • Rebel Leader: The former leader of the Communist Resistance.
  • Translation Convention: Her French is just English with a French accent.
    Louise 

Louise

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/louise_communist_resistance.jpeg

Actor: Carole Ashby. First appearance: "The Dreaded Circular Saw".

The ruthless leader of the Communist Resistance after Denise succumbs to a Bus Crash and another who lusts for René. Appears from Series 5 to 9.
  • Ambiguously Bi: Despite her love of René, there is a moment in "A Fishful of Francs" where Mimi, Michelle, Yvette and Crabtree needed to contact her in the middle of the night. She complained that she was engaged in important discussions, at which moment another member of the Communist resistance appeared in a negligee to call her back inside.
  • Dirty Communist: The leader of a violent Communist Resistance movement.
  • Europeans Are Kinky: Tried to make René her love slave in "A Tour de France".
  • Foil: To Michelle. Both were Resistance leaders who used a pistol, however, Louise truly loved René, while Michelle only pretended to.
  • The Gunslinger: Her trusty pistol, which was often used to threaten René into staying with her.
  • The Lancer: Denise's second-in-command who eventually kills her.
  • La Résistance: The leader of the ruthless Communist Resistance who aims to liberate France from the Germans.
  • The Mistress: René cheats on Edith with her.
  • No Full Name Given: Only referred to by her first name during her time on the show.
  • Rank Up: Usurps Denise's position as head of the Communist Resistance after killing her sometime between "Going Like a Bomb" and "Rising to the Occasion".
  • Rebel Leader: The leader of the Communist Resistance.
  • The Starscream: Kills Denise and usurps her position sometime between "Going Like a Bomb" and "Rising to the Occasion".
  • Translation Convention: Her French is just English with a French accent.

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