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Anime & Manga
Takeru: [thinking] Dammit—!! We missed a chance to see Aki-sensei and Haru-nee sleeping (with their breasts squeezing against each other)!
Usui: [thinking, at Takeru] We missed it, and it's YOUR fault!
— Maken-ki!, chapter 29
Comic Books
Nico: Karolina is a better kisser than any of you! You happy now?
Victor: Of course not!
Chase: I'm actually very happy now.
Victor: Of course not!
Chase: I'm actually very happy now.
— Runaways
Fan Works
"Do you deny saying, 'Every inch of your body is getting a good hard soaping!' after I protested your insistence that I bathe before we went shopping?" Rei asked.
"Uh…" Asuka replied, trying to come up with an appropriate response.
Fortunately at that point Kaji interrupted by shouting out, "Toji’s lost a lot of blood! He’s going into shock! Quick, call an ambulance!"
"Uh…" Asuka replied, trying to come up with an appropriate response.
Fortunately at that point Kaji interrupted by shouting out, "Toji’s lost a lot of blood! He’s going into shock! Quick, call an ambulance!"
Rin: I'm gonna be living here.
Shirou: No you're not!
Rin: So's Archer.
Shirou: No he's not!
Rin: And I'm gonna be sharing a room with Saber.
Shirou:...Continue.
Rin: And a bed with Saber.
Shirou: You may stay.
To see her pitting her strength and skills against another woman, both of them clad only in bikinis, was, he had to admit... stimulating.
Jaune: "You french kissed Blake Belladonna?!"
Yang: "I didn’t mean to! I wasn’t expecting her to cop a feel, so when I opened my mouth in shock she just sort of slipped in there and-“
Beat
Yang: “It is not cool that I’m telling you this. Deeply and profoundly not cool.”
Film
Oscar: "Did you ever see such an allegory of grace and beauty? Two nymphs sleeping off their amatory exertions. You really missed something, Nigel. Fiona was a revelation. All fire. I doubt if you've ever really made the most of her."
— Bitter Moon, Oscar to Nigel after finding their respective wives in bed together.
Live-Action TV
Ted: Please tell me you're not hooking up with one of your co-anchors again .
Robin: My co-anchor's a woman.
Barney: Please tell me you are hooking up with one of your co-anchors again.
Robin: My co-anchor's a woman.
Barney: Please tell me you are hooking up with one of your co-anchors again.
Mark: But Elena's betrayed you! What difference does it make that it's with a woman?
Jez: Because it's hot!
Jez: Because it's hot!
"You buy us dinner, and we make out in front of you. That's, like, the best deal ever."
— Santana, Glee
Amy: Do I really look like that?
Future!Amy: Yeah, yeah you do.
Amy: Ooh, I'd give you your drivers licence…
Future!Amy: Ooh, I bet you would.
Doctor: Oh, this is how it all ends: Pond flirting with herself. True love at last… oh, sorry, Rory.
Rory: Absolutely no problem at all.
Future!Amy: Yeah, yeah you do.
Amy: Ooh, I'd give you your drivers licence…
Future!Amy: Ooh, I bet you would.
Doctor: Oh, this is how it all ends: Pond flirting with herself. True love at last… oh, sorry, Rory.
Rory: Absolutely no problem at all.
— The Doctor, Doctor Who 2011 Red Nose Day Special
"Lesbians are porn efficient. It's sex with a greater density of women. Porn wise, lesbians are like a jam sandwich without the sandwich and just the jam. In fact, lesbians are just a big blob of jam. Well, not actually. Unless they've exploded in all the lesbonic excitement."
— Jeff, Coupling
Troy: I was working on that three way for days. Turns out they’re real lesbians who just wanted to buy some weed.
Lionel: You mean two women into each other for reasons other than a straight man’s benefit? I’m aghast!
Troy: I know, right?
"The truth is, we welcome homosexual couples here. We particularly like the lesbian sort."
— Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear (UK)
"WE LOVE LESBIANS! WE LOVE LESBIANS! WE LOVE LESBIANS!"
—Various audience members, Jerry Springer
I find [homosexuality] disgusting. Men kissing men, holding hands in the street. Every fuckin' TV show, they rub your nose in it! (beat) Although that, the lesbian thing with the, uh, Jennifer Beals...it's not bad.
—Tony Soprano, The Sopranos, "Live Free Or Die"
Music
Man loved women, and women loved men, and men loved men, and… women loved women! Yeah, you know we all like to watch that!
All the girls make out for the whole damn club to see!
— LMFAO, "Sorry For Party Rocking"
Video Games
''My favorite type of magic - lesbomancy."
— Skalen Burdon, The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings
I hear you've been slipping it to that pirate slut from the Hanged Man. What's that like? Two women! I've always wondered.
— Gamlen Amell to his niece, Dragon Age II
Web Original
"Men doing the kiss?! Ugh, no! It should be illegal! But women doing the kiss? Aw yeah, completely different. In fact, let's play a game where we find all of those scenes in every movie and post about how steamy it makes us!"
"Not that I would normally care that this movie was cut shorter, but come on! Chicks banging!"
"We were makin' out on set one day, just as a joke, and I think Joe saw that and so he wrote it in. So all of that politically correct, diplomatic shit I was talkin' about, you can just forget about that. A horny middle-aged man wrote that scene."
"I wonder if Naomi Watts had some kind of stipulation in her contracts that there had to be at least one makeout with another actress in every movie she was in for a while."
1366. I will not use the mass suggestion spell to make the elf babes make out.
"I once went to a Bills game and saw a mother and daughter open mouth kiss because the drunk dudes behind them told them to. The Bills lost that game 6-3 to Cleveland."
— "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Buffalo Bills"
: Buffalo Bills""Hello, yes? I'm here for the yuri. I was told there'd be yuri. No? It's more just undertones and Ecchi hello kitty sequences? This isn't what I was promised! No, I'm sorry, I have to go, no, you, NO, YOU SAID, NO, UNDERTONES ARE NOT YURI, OKAY? YOU GO ALL THE WAY OR YOU GO HOME, I'M NOT DEALING WITH THIS! IT'S YOUR ONE JOB, MY COFFEE MAKER HAS ONE JOB, TO MAKE COFFEE AND IT MANAGES TO DO THAT EVERY SINGLE DAY! I'M NOT ON THE RECEIVING END OF "COFFEE UNDERTONES"! THEY'RE GIRLS, IF THEY'RE NOT DOING GAY THINGS TO EACH OTHER THEN WHAT ARE THEY GOOD FOR???"
— Super Serious Spring Anime Season First Impressions 2015, Demolition D on Show by Rock!!
, Demolition D on Show by Rock!!Heavy: Those weapons are like tiny peashooters. Fists are more useful in game anyways. That's why Heavy prefers to travel with Veronica. Give her good Power Fist and you're set for entire game.
Scout: Oh, finally, a non-dumbass. Veronica's my favorite companion too. I always rush to the Trading Post so I can pick her up.
Heavy: Da, she is compelling character. Her struggles regarding her homeland are relatable to me. I like how you can influence her decision to leave Brotherhood. Classic Fallout decision-making.
Scout: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Don't forget how she's easily the hottest companion in the game.
Heavy: Wait, seriously?
Spy: Oh, for fuck's sake.
Sniper: Bloody hell...
Demoman: Ah, so that's why he's a Brotherhood fanboy. It's all making sense now.
Scout: What? Is my opinion supposed to be controversial or something? She's cute as fuck. [as the other mercs all start yelling over him and telling him to shut up] Give her that dress and she's the perfect mix between tomboy and feminine beauty. She gets my dick hard every time! Are you jackasses really gonna sit here and try to convince me that bitch Cass is better?
Heavy: SCOUT! SHE IS LESBIAN!
Scout: I know! That's the hottest part!
Scout: Oh, finally, a non-dumbass. Veronica's my favorite companion too. I always rush to the Trading Post so I can pick her up.
Heavy: Da, she is compelling character. Her struggles regarding her homeland are relatable to me. I like how you can influence her decision to leave Brotherhood. Classic Fallout decision-making.
Scout: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Don't forget how she's easily the hottest companion in the game.
Heavy: Wait, seriously?
Spy: Oh, for fuck's sake.
Sniper: Bloody hell...
Demoman: Ah, so that's why he's a Brotherhood fanboy. It's all making sense now.
Scout: What? Is my opinion supposed to be controversial or something? She's cute as fuck. [as the other mercs all start yelling over him and telling him to shut up] Give her that dress and she's the perfect mix between tomboy and feminine beauty. She gets my dick hard every time! Are you jackasses really gonna sit here and try to convince me that bitch Cass is better?
Heavy: SCOUT! SHE IS LESBIAN!
Scout: I know! That's the hottest part!
— ToTheMax, The Mercs Argue About Fallout Companions
Webcomics
Max: I think you've got it all wrong, Terra.
Terra: Oh?
Max: In the male fantasy, you see, we're all Superman: ten feet tall and bulletproof.
Terra: Of course.
Max: In this fantasy, obviously, no woman is "unattainable". Lesbianism takes on a completely different meaning.
Terra: And what is that meaning?
Max: "Hey, look, there's two of them!"
Terra: Oh?
Max: In the male fantasy, you see, we're all Superman: ten feet tall and bulletproof.
Terra: Of course.
Max: In this fantasy, obviously, no woman is "unattainable". Lesbianism takes on a completely different meaning.
Terra: And what is that meaning?
Max: "Hey, look, there's two of them!"
Tycho: …you spent a hundred dollars on manga, and you can't read Japanese.
Gabe: Yes, but I do read Lesbonese.
Gabe: Yes, but I do read Lesbonese.
"Are you two going to kiss now? Because I'd be interested in watching."
— Reynarome about Annie and Kat, Gunnerkrigg Court
Western Animation
Debbie Dupree: Me and Yumi and Debbie [Love] got so turned on fighting that we all made out. Every last guy in the bar was watching and totally cheering us on.
Quinn: About them making out?
Sparks: NO!
—Sealab 2021, "Splitsville"
Ugh... I almost did it with Joan?! ....Hot!
—Cleopatra, Clone High, "Homecoming A Shot in the D'Arc"
Early Cuyler: I'm against men kissing men, for many reasons! But when womens do it... That... uh.. that seems alright. Any womens here willing to make out with another woman?
—Squidbillies', Giant Foam Dick-hat Trouble''
Adam: Hot as fuck, though.
Real Life
"Nothing gives me a woody like two chicks gettin' it on."
