I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good."
One night, at a party, The Casanova Bob meets his match with Alice. In spite of his flirting, charms, and a good romantic track record, she seems uninterested and doesn't want to go out for a drink right after. He is confused, but he won't back down…
…until Carl kindly walks over and whispers to Bob, "Dude, she's a lesbian."
Dude, She's a Lesbian is when one person attempts to hit on another person, and a third person informs them of their Incompatible Orientation. This could lead to some awkwardness. Or not, if the flirting party is enough of a perv.
Besides the person informing of the Incompatible Orientation being different, there are several differences between the trope Sorry, I'm Gay. First of all, this could be said after Alice, a lesbian, walks away from Bob. Also, Alice could be in the closet, and only Carl knows her secret. Alternatively, Bob is the only one who doesn't know about Alice's Transparent Closet.
Obviously related to Sorry, I'm Gay, where the character directly informs the would-be suitor about the (real or feigned) Incompatible Orientation issue. Could overlap with All the Good Men Are Gay. Compare You're Not My Type, for situations that don't involve sexual orientation.
- The Norwegian comic Pondus has many examples of this. In one strip, a fat, ugly bus driver who is notoriously unlucky in love is sitting in a bar. Suddenly he realizes that the woman to his left and the woman to his right are both looking his way in a really flirty manner. He exclaims "There Is a God!!" as they start moving towards him. ...and then he finishes his sentence with "…and he doesn't like me" as both women pass him by and kiss each other.
- Starfall (Star vs. the Forces of Evil): Kevin tries flirting with Mimi using a dorky pickup line, to no success. Then his sister comes over and uses the exact same pickup line, and Mimi blushes. Kevin gets the hint.
- Chasing Amy: Subverted. Even after finding out that she's a lesbian, Holden still loves Alyssa and continues to pursue her. Banky has to be the one to remind him continually that he cannot be with her anyway because she is a lesbian. Then subverted even further when it turns out she's actually bisexual and reciprocates his attraction later.
- In Clueless, Cher is smitten with the dashing yet very gay Christian. She doesn't see it, but Murray does. He enlightens her with this elegant Hurricane of Euphemisms:
Murray: Your man Christian is a cake boy!
Cher & Dionne: A what?
Murray: He's a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand-ticket-holding friend of Dorothy, know what I'm saying?
Cher: Uh-uh? No way? Not even?
Murray: He's gay!
- In DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story, Dwight tells Peter that his lawyer/crush Kate has to be a lesbian. In the end, Kate's girlfriend shows up and they make out, confirming the trope but then subverting it as it turns out Kate is bisexual and makes out with Peter.
- Gloriously done in Imagine Me & You:
Cooper: Did you see that flower girl out there? Later we are going to fall madly in bed.
Heck: So it is going well for you then?
Cooper: Very well.
Heck: She is a lesbian.
Cooper: Is that right? Cool.
Heck: Doesn't that slightly thwart your plan for seduction?
Cooper: Anyone can change teams… Not anyone, cause I would never, you know… hmm… (starts gulping down his drink)
- In the film Mona Lisa, George falls in love with Simone, a prostitute, and doesn't find out until near the end of the film that she's really a lesbian.
- In the film Remember the Titans, Petey tries to explain to the girls swooning over Sunshine that he's gay.
Petey: I'm sorry to break y'all's hearts, but Sunshine here is from California.Girl: Yeah, a California dreamboat...Petey: No, SUNSHINE is from CALIFORNIA. He's a CALIFORNIAN!
- A man is drinking in a pub when he sees two stunning-looking women enter and sit down at the bar. He calls the bartender over and says he'll pay for the women's drinks. The bartender tells him, "Sorry, friend, but you should probably know they're lesbians." The man waves a hand dismissively and insists on paying for their drinks anyway. A minute later he finishes his own drink, stands up, sidles over to the women, and says, "So, ladies, what part of Lesbia are you from?"Don't Explain The Joke
- Subverted in The Kharkanas Trilogy. When Chick Magnet Spinnock Durav tells his cousin Faror Hend that he fancies Finarra Stone, Faror promptly informs him that Finarra prefers women. However, Faror herself is in love with Spinnock, so her motives are anything but straightforward, and as is shown later, Finarra actually is bi.
- Dates: Subverted. Kate and Erica obligingly dance with two guys at the club, but gravitate towards each other and end up making out on the dance floor. The guys seem to be aware from the start (they had seen them both together) and just happy watching.
- In Frasier Roz Doyle makes a new friend and they agree to go out together. It only slowly dawns on Roz that her new friend is a lesbian. But as the alternative is a date with the nerdy Trekkie producer who is stalking her, she promptly chooses being Mistaken for Gay as the better of the two alternatives.
- Subverted in an early episode of Glee; Mercedes seemed perfectly aware of Kurt's sexuality until the Cheerios took advantage of her loneliness and basically told her, "Dude, he's not gay." When she takes the opportunity to ask him out, however, it is Kurt who sets her straight.
- In an episode of Hustle, Danny is completely mystified by the lack of response the hotel receptionist has to his flirting and worries that he is losing his mojo with the opposite sex. He is delighted at the end of the episode to learn that she is a lesbian.
- NewsRadio: Mr. James tells Dave he's made an addition to his wish list of potential wives — Melissa Etheridge. Dave tells him that she is definitely as gay as k. d. lang — a disappointed James crosses two names off his list.
- In an episode of Night Court, Christine discovers that a woman she recently met was actually a romance novelist… and a lesbian. Later, when Harry tries to seduce her, Christine writes him a note proclaiming the woman's orientation with multiple exclamation points.
- In an episode of Roseanne, one of Dan's new poker buddies asks what kind of man Nancy is into and David replies "the kind who wears a bra, she's into chicks". Subverted when Nancy actually accepts a date with the man later on.
- The 2010 finale of Saturday Night Live, which Betty White hosted and featured a crew of funny women like Ana Gastayer, Kristin Wiig, Tina Fey, and Amy Poehler, featured a sketch called "Gingey." It's set in 1904 and features the female cast as Little Women-esque sisters preparing for a dance—except for the title character (Poehler), who has no interest in gentlemen callers and prefers hunting frogs and fishing. When her sisters and mother wonder why Gingey is always making such a fuss, White's character—presumably her grandmother, who's sewing in the corner—repeatedly points out the extremely obvious: "She's a LESBIAN!"
- In Star Trek: Discovery 2x10 "The Red Angel", Mirror!Georgiou attempts an extremely weird hit on Stamets. His husband Dr. Culber pops up with the requisite “You know he’s gay, right?” only for Georgiou to extend her invitation to Culber as well, giving Stamets the chance to also say the line in reference to Culber. Tilly speaks for the viewers after Georgiou leaves: “(beat) WHAT JUST HAPPENED.”
- Inverted in Supernatural when Dean asks Charlie Bradbury to seduce a security guard to get past him. Charlie declines by saying "he's not her type." When Dean asks her to work around that she responds with "He's not a girl" much to Dean's surprise.
- Used from a completely different starting point in the Unforgettable episode "Cashing Out". Al starts to insinuate a possible affair angle between a slain zoning commissioner and his lovely assistant, but then Carrie sees a wedding photo of the assistant and shuts him down because the spouse is female.
- In White Collar during the pilot episode, Neal flirts with Diana and brags to Peter that she's digging the cool hat he's wearing. Peter informs him that she'd rather be wearing the hat, thus launching one of the least sexualized lesbians ever.
- The Wire: McNulty upon meeting Greggs is intrigued by the no-nonsense detective, and tries to chat her up. Gregg's informant Bubbles is amused:
Bubble: Are you a dog, McNulty? Cos you barking up the wrong pussy.
- In Dawn of a New Age: Oldport Blues, when Finn asks for information on local rich boy Benedict, Amy starts to daydream about how cute he is. Katheryn then informs the two that he's gay, much to Amy's shock.
- Mass Effect 3: If you re-recruit Gabby and Ken, the Greek Chorus engineers from the previous game, they have a conversation regarding Gay Option Samantha Traynor.
Ken: Gabby, what do you think about our yeoman, Miss Traynor?
Gabby: She's not a yeoman. She's a communications specialist. And you're barking up the wrong tree, Kenneth. You're not her type.
Ken: Oh. Well, perhaps you should go and talk to her, then?
Gabby: Maybe I should. Nobody is barking up my tree.
Ken: If it works out, be sure to take video.
- In Persona 2, a random male NPC says that Noriko is very cute, only to be told by his friend to give it up because "she only has eyes for Anna."
- In the Volume 6 premiere of RWBY, when Neptune spots Ilia, he leaves Sun and Blake and goes over to her. Blake starts to call him off, but Sun tells her that he'll figure it out. As a result, they leave Neptune to... figure it out for himself.
- In the contemporary arc of Arthur, King of Time and Space, Galehaute expresses an interest in Lancelot and Morgan has to tell him Dude, he's straight and celibate.
- Ghastly's Ghastly Comic features Brewster ignoring Nort telling him this and hitting on the lesbian couple at the bar anyway. Their response: "Either Diana Ross has really let herself go, or a very stupid little man is trying to pick us up."
- The Trope Namer is Rudy Strongwell from Rain (2010).
- This situation happens with Maria and Gavin. Their faux relationship to cover up her orientation started when Maria rejects him. When he refuses to give up, Maria's brother Rudy tells him, "Dude, she's a lesbian."
- It's pulled again MUCH later in the series, when Gavin informs Rudy of this, regarding Rain. In a nice, ironic sense. Rudy is not amused.
- Subverted, and spun on MUCH later in the comic when Gavin flips the term to explain to Maria that Rudy still identifies as male, becoming "Lesbian, he's a dude."
- Anyone But Me uses this when Jonathan's friend begins pursuing Vivian, only to be told by Jonathan that she is a lesbian. In this case, he continues his pursuit hoping to "change" her.
- The Tourettes Guy's response to being told this is "That just means she likes what I like!". He then immediately follows this with the rather contradictory image of him eating a corn dog.
- Subverted in Justice League, when The Flash is admiring his newest crush, Fire, from afar as she converses with her gal-pal Ice. Hawkgirl notices.
Hawkgirl: Why don't you just go talk to her?
Flash: Who, me? Talk to her? No way.
Hawkgirl: Yeah, you'd probably be wasting your time anyway. I hear she's, y'know… (Flash looks worried) Brazilian.
- In the South Park episode "Tom's Rhinoplasty", the boys are crushing on their new substitute teacher, but Chef tells them they don't have a chance because she's a lesbian; unfortunately they don't know what "lesbian" means.
- Starting in The New '10s, several expressions have been frequently bandied about when oblivious individuals on The Internet need to be informed to this effect:
- "Harold they're lesbians" (originating on Tumblr in 2015, from a post about an elderly couple watching Carol in a theater)
- "she gay dude stop it lol" (originating on Twitter in 2016, from a tweet in which Leslie Jones shot down a fan regarding a Saturday Night Live castmate's Incompatible Orientation)
- "People are gay, Steven" (originating in 2016, in reference to a line from The OA)