Funny / Marik Plays Bloodlines

Part 1

• This line when Marik explains why he decided to play Bloodlines.
  Marik: And so that's why I decided to play this game. Because Bakura is a bitch.
  Bakura: I told you to shut your buggering face!
• Most of the descriptions for the vampire classes, whether they're Shout Outs like "The Disney's Tarzan vampire, complete with soundtrack by Phil Collins," or the "haters gonna hate" vampire.
• "I think we should go with the 'sexy' vampire, that way I won't have to do much actual roleplaying."
• "...well you know, it's your own fault for being bitten by a vampire, because you wore your shirt in such a douchey manner!"
  • (as thugs armed with wooden stakes break into the apartment) "Watchtower~" (stakes PC and woman he was with) "GAH! Talk about morning wood! Heh, did that joke for Rex and Weevil."
• Marik's reaction to Velvet Velour
  "She makes Mai Valentine look subtle!"
• Marik dubbing over the voices in the execution scene in the theatre.
  Isaac Abrams: Mhm, I wonder what time it is... oh, that's right, my character model doesn't have a watch.
  Therese Voerman: You think you got it bad? My character model doesn't have panties!
  Skelter (whispering to Nine): This is the least accurate production of Hamlet I've ever seen!
• When the Sheriff is about to behead Marik's sire with his BFS
  Marik: Hey, big guy, Zack Fair called, he wants his buster sword back! (Gory Discretion Shot of the Sire getting beheaded).... On second thought, maybe you should keep it.
• When Nines protest in-game to the Fledgling's execution:
  Nines: THIS IS BULLSHIT!
  Marik/Nines: Vampires are supposed to SPARKLE!
  (whispers and agitation in the room)
  Marik/The Crowd: I think he is right, maybe this is bullshit...
• This bit.
  La Croix: If Mister Rodriguez would let me finish...
  Marik: Well, Imma let you finish, but Dracula was the greatest vampire of all time! OF ALL TIME!
• When he finally gets control for the first time:
  Marik: Wait, what am I supposed to be doing? So...to summarize, vampires exist, and they like to hold really ineffectual club meetings in theaters under cover of darkness—and most of them live in California...man, these aren't vampires, they're actors who can't get work!
• When he's being briefed on his new life:
  Jack: Now you're half beast, half man—
  Marik: Wait, I'm a furry too?! Oh, god! This day just gets worse and worse!
• His rant at the PC's crappy apartment:
  Marik: Wow, it's nice to see that the vampire society didn't spare me any expense in my accomodations! (looking at the stained bedclothes) And oh hey! My bedclothes are covered in urine! They shouldn't have! Something tells me that "Jack" guy had something to do with this. (imitating Jack) "(gibberish) come here to piss on yer bed! (gibberish)" And what's with all these freaking notes?! I have a computer—it's right there! Just email me! What is this, the Dark Ages?! I know you're vampires and all, but come on! (sits at a laptop with a primitive looking command line OS) And oh good! My laptop is apparently on loan from the 1980's! (imitating a monotone computer voice) "Hello, Mr. Ishtar. Would you like to play a game?" I feel like frigging Strong Bad here...(reading) "Mercurio will contact you when you get to San—" yeah, maybe Mercurio can run over here and de-urinate my freaking bed, huh? How about that?! (reading an "enlarge your penis" spam e-mail) Hey, Bakura! I think I got some of your e-mail by mistake!
  Bakura: Piss off, Marik!
  Marik: Hahaha! Man, I think this laptop has over 8MB of RAM!
• When Marik believes the world will be invaded by aliens:
  Marik: I've got to warn the general public that the aliens are about to oh, hey, free newspaper!

Part 2

• This bit:
  Marik: Man, I can't believe on my first day as a vampire, I sucked off a hobo!
  Bakura: (laughs)
  Marik: What, what's so funny, Bakura?!
  Bakura: What you just said... HAHAHAHA...
  Marik: Ehhh, I don't get it!
• "Tim Burton would love to live in a place like this: no sunlight, surrounded by freaks...oh my god, what if that homeless guy was Tim Burton?! I could have killed a national treasure!"
• Marik's reaction upon meeting Knox
  "Oh, God... this guy is the vampire's equivalent of a fangirl, isn't he?"
• Upon being explained what a Ghoul (human who bond with a vampire by drinking their blood) is:
  "Dude! That sounds gay even by vampire standards!"
• As Marik is about to enter Mercurio's apartment...
  Marik: *opens the door* Greetings! I am vengance, I am the night, I am Batma- *the door closes on its own* What the hell, the door closed in my face!
• Mercurio has been wounded and is lying on his couch
  Mercurio: What is this lump? Is this my rib?!
  Marik: No, that's your penis.
  Mercurio: My rib is poking through my side!
  Marik: No, your penis is poking through your side.
  Mercurio: You gotta look and tell me!
  Marik: Dude! I don't care how wasted I am on hobo blood, I'm not looking at your junk!
• Upon learning he will go to the beach:
  "Great! I can work on my tan... wait. I am a vampire... I no longer have a tan... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Part 3

• Foxy boxes...
• Marik's conversation with a Doomsday Prophet.
  Prophet: The bones of your ancestors will rise up to reclaim the flesh that they left their sorry protege!
  Marik: Daddy, is that you? No, he doesn't have that murderous glint in his eyes my father used to have.
• "It's like being attacked by a demonic Shakira! HER HIPS DON'T LIE!"

Part 4

• The entire battle in the apartment after Marik picks up a stray car stereo. From beating a thug that looks like John Cena to the string of pop culture references and Incredibly Lame Pun firing squad when taking out the trash:
  Marik: (after whaling on some thugs with a baseball bat) Hey, check it out—vampire bat! HA! It's funny because I broke his legs.
• This part at around the 9:45 mark
  Marik: Oh, I love a good manhole!
  Bakura: PFSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
  Marik: Stop laughing at me! You're making me feel self-conscious!
• Marik encounters a thug he missed while trying to enter the shower:
  Marik: That does it, no one makes me wait to wash my hair! *sees the thug* Yeah, eat it! *shoots him in the face* YEAH! I've gotta tell you, that's not the first time I've shot in a guy's face.
  Bakura: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHA!!
  Marik: Why are you in such a giggly mood today Bakura?
  Bakura: Oh, no reason.

Part 5

• This, a while after he kills a prostitute:
  Marik: But wait, what am I supposed to do with that dead body I left in the parking lot? Seriously, Bakura, you kill lots of people. Do you have any advice?
  Bakura: Well, what I usually do is drive out into the desert and I bury them beneath your treehouse.
  Marik: I thought you said you were building sandcastles.
  Bakura: No, just sand-mausoleums, I'm afraid.
  Marik: Is that what happened to Mr. Tweetums?
  Bakura: -Evil Laugh-
  Marik: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Come back, Mr. Tweetums! Come back, Artax, stupid horse!
• Marik laments the vampire's lack of a reflection.
  Marik: Dammit, how am I supposed to know if I'm good-looking or not? Bakura, tell me I look sexy!
  Bakura: (panicked) Guh - no!
  Marik: Oh, what good are you?!
  • This is even funnier if you're familiar with the Old World of Darkness. Marik's character is a Toreador; he SHOULD have a reflection, but sadly graphics limitations intervene.
• Marik sings to the tune of Rock Me, Amadeus, with his own lyrics.
  • I'm a vampire, I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire, I'm a vampire, I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire, I'm a vampire, I'm a vampire! And I am very sexy!
  • In the buttocks, in the buttocks! In the buttocks, in the buttocks, in the buttocks! In the buttocks, in the buttocks, in the buttocks! She'll stab you in the buttocks!

Part 6

• Marik enters the house of Mel Gibson. Many Take Thats ensue, but every time he does so, something terrible happens, and he desperately tries to appease Gibson's spirit.
• Marik tells a story about how he and Bakura tried to sneak into Kaiba's mansion but were told to go away, so they went around the back and Marik climbed in through a window, which turned out to be the bathroom.
  Marik: And so I used his toilet! Hahahahahaha! He will never know!
• After the chandelier starts moving:
  Marik: I'm choosing to believe that this whole house is like that house from Beauty and the Beast, and all the furniture is going to start singing at me. Hey, watch this. *singing* Be our guest, be our guest... *chandelier falls down in front of him* OH MY GOD LUMIÉRE TRIED TO KILL ME! I knew it! Furniture can't be trusted. First chance I get I'm getting a shotgun and I'm going after Mrs. Potts!
• When he sees the wife's ghost running away, he assumes she is scared of him, and takes it as an offense to his sexyness.
• "Well, at least this is still more interesting than The Blairwitch Project."
• "This is like The Shining, only with Mel Gibson instead of Jack Nicholson. Which means it's ten times scarier!"
• The doorbell rings, prompting Marik to ask Bakura to get it. When Bakura protests that he's reading a book, Marik says he's been pretending to read it and has actually been staring at him for the past two hours.
  Marik: Put down The Count of Monte Cristo and go open The Count of Monte DOOR!
  • Making it funnier is that The Count of Monte Cristo is one of the most famous revenge stories of all time, so it makes sense for Bakura to read it.
• The Slender Man's cameo appearance, where he insists he is an "elite gamer" and tells Marik to give Mel Gibson a blowjob.
  Marik: WHY IS THE ANSWER ALWAYS BLOWJOBS?!
• This exchange:
  Marik: Oh, look, it's one of those things... oh... what do you call them? Eeh... a... "something-waiter"...
  Bakura: Dumb.
  Marik: You are dumb!
  Bakura: No, Marik, the word for it is "dumb"!
  Marik: The word for you is dumb!
  Bakura: No, no, MARIK! The thing you are inside right now is called a dumbwaiter!
  Marik: YOU are the dumb waiter!
  Bakura: (sigh) Whatever.
  Marik: Ah, totally won that argument!
• Marik provoking Mel Gibson's ghost leads to this:
  Marik (upon witnessing a pan falling): Oh, no, scaaary! A frying pan fell on the floor! Mel Gibson, you are not even trying at this point, are you? I mean, come on, I know Hollywood has basically turned its back on you and everybody thinks you're a psychopath, but you could at least put some effort in haunting me and terrorizing me! Oh, whatever, I'll just take this! (grabs the journal)
  Female Ghost (whispering): Help me!
  Marik: Huh? What? Yeah, I am still not impressed, Mel Gibson! This is about as impressive as The Patriot (2000)! (Beat) Do you hear what I am saying?
  Female Ghost (still whispering): He is coming...
  Marik: Well, he shouldn't be, because I am not getting him that blowjob! (everything starts shaking in the room) Oh, what is it? Come at me, you australian ponce!
  Bakura: Em... Marik? You probably shouldn't...
  Marik: Shut up, Bakura! The Passion of the Christ IS A CRAPPY MOVIE! (everything starts flying around and hitting him, draining his life points) Dah! Oh! Dah! No no no! Okay, I am sorry! I am sorry! (it gets worse) Dah! Ok, ok! I admit it! I'm gay, I'm gay! I like men, and I like men's bottoms, and I have a whole folder on my computer filled with Thiefshipping pictures!
• After Marik has just admitted he's gay.
  Marik: If I'm gay, then may God strike me down. *elevator falls* OH MY GOD PLEASE GOD DON'T KILL ME PLEASE! *elevator misses him* See, totally straight.
  • Marik has a really hard time keeping his sexuality under wraps in this episode.
  Marik: And the ghost fangirl said, "Very well! A curse upon you and all your children!". And Malik Blishtar was okay with that 'cause he wasn't gonna have any children anyway 'cause he's totally g-
  [beat]
  Marik: Uh. He's, uh, not... really into kids.

Part 7

• THEY TOUCH BUTTS WITH THEIR BUTTS!
  • Immediately followed up with this:
  Marik: I do not do that! I have never touched a butt!
  Bakura: That's...not feasibly possible.
• This, followed by Marik belting out 'Bring Me to Life' by Evanescence:
  Marik: Oh Bakura, it's my jam!
  Bakura: This is not your jam.
  Marik: This is totally my jam!
  Bakura: It is not your jam.
  Marik: I declare this to be my jam!
• Marik sees a computer in-game has the password "Imalia" and comments on how short it is. He then reveals that to unlock his computer you have to say a modified version of the chant to summon the Winged Dragon of Ra.
• "I like this missions. It has knives."

Part 8

• Early in the episode, Marik mistakes a pawn shop for a porn shop. After realizing what the shop really sells.:
  Marik: ...Wait, this isn't porn, what the frig is this? I've never seen any porn with frigging weapons in it.
  Bakura: Maybe you haven't been reading the right stuff.
  Marik: Silly Bakura, you can't have sex with a tire iron. (Beat) Can you?
  Bakura: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!
  Marik: Oh, and again with the laughing at me. It's not so much evil as it is condescending, that's what really bugs me.
• Later on Marik is convinced the security guard is drunk when he unlocks the door by breaking open the lock.
  Marik: Y'know what, maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions, he might not actually be drunk. (beat) Okay, no, he's definitely drunk. (mimics a drunken slur) "Well I think I've had enough tequilla but I better go down to the office and makes so everything is secure, and if anyone comes in and tries to tell me they're a technician, I'll just break open the nearest door and let them in. 'Cuz I'm a good security guard! I'm not drunk!".
  Secuity Guard: You can let yourself out.
  Marik: (mimicking) "Which is more then I can say for myself because I'm so drunk!".
• The ending of the video, where Melvin gets distracted from going after Bakura due to video games.
  Bakura: Uhh... I-I'll be going off to the shops for a bit, I'll be back in about 10 minutes...
  Melvin: Foolish fool! The shops cannot save you from my—oh, hey, a video game!

Part 9

• Every quip Melvin makes while killing people.
  Melvin: (after killing a security guard) This is just like that song by The Clash! (singing) I fought the law - and - the law got stabbed repeatedly in the chest and now it's lying on the floor bleeding and crying out for help!
  Melvin: You know, technically, this hospital should be thanking me. I'm just giving them a lot more business. Doctor, there's something wrong with me! I can't stop stabbing people. What would you prescribe? "More stabbing"? Well, okay, if you insist!
  Melvin: *singing while attacking a security guard with a knife* I believe you can diiiiiieeee! I believe I will stab your thigh! I think about it every night and day! I'll stab your face and your blood will spray!
• His increasing frustration with the patient who refuses to be killed.
  Patient: Is someone there?
  Melvin: (stabbing) Yes, his name is Mr. Stabby, and you would do well to listen to him! (After seeing the patient still isn't dead) Ah, I have exhausted all of my medical training! There's only one thing left to do: I'm going to have to bring out the big guns! (shoots the patient) Which is literally a big gun!
  Patient: Is someone there?
  Melvin: Yes, someone's there, he's called the Grim Reaper, and he wants you to shut the frig up! (shoots him again)
  Patient: Is someone there?
  Melvin: YES SOMEBODY IS HERE, FOR GOD'S SAKE, SHUT THE FRIG UP! (shoots him again)
  Patient: Is someone there?
  Melvin: (shooting him repeatedly) HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!?!
  • Which concludes with this gem:
  Melvin: I swear, this guy is the only one like "Man, I seem to be invincible; I better go to the hospital to get that checked out!"
• Melvin's thoughts on Stan Gimble:
  Melvin: This guy makes Maximilian Pegasus look like Charles Bronson!
  [...]
  Melvin: This guy was originally played by Nigel Thornberry but they decided they wanted someone who sounded a little more foppish.
• Melvin and Slender Man have... interesting ideas about pranking people.
  Melvin: Hey Slender Man, remember that time you disguised yourself as one of those store window mannequins? And then when people came by to look at the clothes you would just wrap your tentacles around them and devour them whole?
  Slender Man: ThAt WaS aN aMuSiNg PrAnK. tHeY wErE nOt AbLe To PuRcHaSe ThEiR cLoThEs. ThEiR dAy WaS rUiNeD.
  Melvin: Yes, and you also killed them.
  Slender Man: ThAt AlSo WaS fUnNy.
• "This game has taught me that if you live in Hollywood, you are either a Serial Killer or a vampire. Or a vampire serial killer. Or a serial killer that specializes in killing vampires. These are the options, pick one."
• Melvin's awe over the boss fight with Gimble:
  Melvin: Is... Is he attacking me with his own severed arm?! Is that what's happening? THIS IS THE GREATEST VIDEO GAME BOSS FIGHT OF ALL TIMES!

Part 10

• Marik meets a NPC dressed like a goth:
  Marik: Oh, a goth! Maybe if I stand here long enough, he will slit his wrist and save me the trouble of biting his neck.
• Later, he meets a similar NPC urinating in a dark alley. Cue him approaching him to drink his blood while playing the Jaws theme.
  Marik: Just when you thought it was safe to urinate in a dark alley, fool!
• Upon hearing Mercurio is almost sixty years old:
  Marik: Yes, you do look younger than you age; so you are either a vampire, or you are an anime character.
• Also this game:
  Marik: It's like some strange alternate dimension version of Los Angeles where nobody else notices the horrible things that are going on around them! Wait, no... it's just Los Angeles.
• Marik kills Chunk using a severed arm as a weapon:
  Marik: Somehow this is more effective than simply punching him with my own arm! Wheeee! How is this frigging arm so powerful, did it belong to a Jedi or something?
• "Teenage Mutant Ninja Marik, Teenage Mutant Ninja Marik..."

Part 11

• Marik comments on the Schedule Slip, saying he doesn't even remember what he was playing:
  Marik: What game is this? Is this Mario? Cause if this is Mario, the Mushroom Kingdom has gone to crap, man!

Part 12

• Marik's tour of Santa Monica, especially around the crime scene:
  Marik: Ah, up next on our tour of Santa Monica, it is the... vicious brutal murder site! This is where people get viciously brutally murdered! Uh... it's kind of a weird stop on the tour... I don't know why people come here, unless they want to get murdered brutally and viciously, but there you go! There you can see Santa Monica's finest police officers doing what they do best - standing around doing nothing at all and just sort of hoping the crime solves itself!

Part 13

• Marik finds Lily's diary:
  Marik: Oh hey, a diary! It's like the analog version of Tumblr!

Part 14

• Bakura takes over for the episode. This in itself is hilarious enough.
  • Synchronised hobos... They're evolving.
• Bakura learns his mission is to place explosives in a warehouse to blow it up. He doesn't hide his happiness.
  Bakura: Oh, goody, do I get to be a terrorist? This video game is full of fun activities!

Part 15

• Bakura's frustration over the fact this game's vampires hardly do anything you'd expect a vampire to do:
  (While sneaking behind an enemy): "Ah, yes, vampires, creatures of the night, known for passing under the cover of darkness by hunching over awkwardly and walking like a crab with two broken legs!"
  (After backstabbing a thug): Imagine being that guy and getting in the afterlife and having to explain to your friends how you died: "Oh, yes, I got killed by a vampire!" "Oh? did he suck your blood, or something?" "No, he... he stabbed me." "... Oh. Well that's rather lame. It's kind of a lame death, you being stabbed by a vampire... I mean, did you put up a fight?" "No, he got me from behind and he just sort of stabbed me." "Oh." "Well... How did you die?" "Oh, I got shot in the face by a werewolf!" "... That's still better than mine."
• Upon hearing mooks talking:
  "Uh oh, someone is speaking generic video game thug language, I better get my universal translator out." (pulls his knife out)
• Bakura criticizing how un-sneaky his character is:
  "Ouuuh, don't look at me, I am wearing bright red and I dyed my hair scarlet! I'm camouflaged, apparently: nobody looks at the bright red gangly thing that's jumping around like a lunatic! He's INVISIBLE!"

Part 16

• Marik encounters Bertram for the first time... and FREAKS OUT. He spends the first part of the conversation screaming "I don't like!" repeatedly.
  Marik: He looks like friggin' David Carradine after bobbing for apples in a vat of battery acid! The frig?! F-frig frig f-f-frig frig...
  Bakura: Oh great, he's broken.
  • Afterward, Marik decides that Bertram's appearance is because of "that herpes I've heard so much about."
  Marik: This is why I'm always careful about who I sleep with!
  Bakura: Marik, you were turned into a vampire by someone you were trying to sleep with.
  Marik: That's why I always use a garlic-flavored condom.
  Bakura: Oh, is THAT what that tasted like?
  Marik: Stop eating my condoms Bakura!
• Upon finding out the Astrolite was used during the previous episode by Bakura, Marik is infuriated, as he missed the opportunity to finally find out what the Astrolite was for.

Part 17

• Marik's interpretation of the various paintings in LaCroix's office:
  First painting (despicting a man trying to throw another off a cliff): Ah, the portrait of the first ever attempt at a curb-stomp. Didn't go very well.
  Second painting (featuring someone walking away from another laying man): Ah, this one is called "Honey, can you get up and check if we locked the front door?"
  Third painting (featuring a feminine man with long hair and roman armor): The straightest man in the fifteen-hundreds!
  Fourth painting (featuring a woman on a horse with her escort): And over here, we have a portrait of the first ever flash mob recorded in history...
  Fifth painting (featuring two man fighting with knives): Before you could block people on social media, this is how most arguments were resolved!
• Marik reports to LaCroix, who asks if he blew up the warehouse.
  Marik: Well, mostly Bakura did it, but sure, I'll take credit.
  LaCroix: Most excellent.
  Bakura: Bloody typical.
• LaCroix then asks Marik if he had some problems on his way:
  Marik: Well, Mel Gibson did give me a bit of difficulty, but I think it's hard to rein that guy in, you know... once he is going, he is going.
  LaCroix: Oh? Then I'll see that he is suitably punished.
  Marik: Pretty sure that's already been handled by Hollywood.
• Marik learns of the Ankaran Sarcophagus. Undead people, plus a sarcophagus leads Marik to assume that maybe Yami is the Big Bad.
• Marik asks Bakura what he should buy from Fat Larry. Bakura tells him to buy the deadliest weapon Larry has and murder everybody. Marik buys the snazzy new outfit, because his body is the deadliest weapon in the game.
  • Even better: Bakura admits he can't deny this.

Part 18

• The hospital is one of the parts of the game that show off how much of an Obvious Beta it is. Marik gets trapped by movable objects and wonders why his greatest enemies tend to be inanimate objects.
  • He then finds a guy banging on a locked door, who suddenly explodes into blood. Obviously, it was Pisha who killed him, but Marik concludes the door was the one responsible.

Other

• The April Fools' Day video
  Marik: A lot of people have been theorizing whether or not Bakura and I are in a relationship. I want to put those rumors to rest right now, okay? Technically- *static* KILL YOUR FAMILY! KILL YOUR FAMILY! KILL YOUR FAMILY! KILL YOUR FAMILY! KILL YOUR FAMILY! KILL YOUR FAMILY! KILL YOUR FAMILY! KILL YOUR FAMILY! KILL YOUR FAMILY! KILL YOUR FAMILY!...
  BILL YOUR FAMILY! BILL YOUR FAMILY! BILL YOUR F- Oh wait, I'm saying 'bill them'. That wouldn't be very evil, would it? More of a trivial annoyance than anything. Let me start over...
• The entirety of the one-off special "Marik Plays Slender".
  Marik: Sounds like I'm walking in cereal. I like walking in cereal, it's the most important floor of the day. This is what it sounds like whenever my cat goes to use the litter box.
  Bakura: You don't have a cat, Marik.
  Marik: YES I DO, YOU'RE MY CAT!! And this is what it sounds like when you poop!
  • Discussing the Slender Man's origins:
  Marik: Hey, Bakura, where exactly does Slender Man come from?
  Bakura: He comes from a world of darkness where no trace of humanity exists and should you enter its unholy domain, you'll find yourself unable to escape with your sanity intact.
  Marik: I thought he came from the internet.
  Bakura: That's what I said isn't it?
  • And then there's the running gag of Slendy's appearances, which serve to almost completely destroy any scariness he has.
  Slender Man: HeY gUyS!
  Marik: Frig, he is there! (singing to the tune of the Spider-Man theme) LOOK OUUUUT THERE GOES A SLENDERMAAAAN!!
  Slender: I wAs JuSt TrYiNg To HeLp YoU sInG mY tHeMe SoNg.
  Marik: No.
  Slender: SlEnDeRmAn, SlEnDeRmAn. DoEs WhAtEvEr A sLeNdErMaN cAn.
  • The discussion about Endor.
  Marik: Look, they called it "Endor" in the frigging movie, you can't argue with-
  Bakura: IT'S A BLOODY MOON, MARIK!
  Marik: I'LL MOON YOUR FACE IN A SECOND!
  Slender Man: HeY gUyS! (Marik and Bakura freak out and run away) i JuSt WaNtEd To InFoRm YoU tHaT iT iS aCtUaLlY cAlLeD tHe FoReSt MoOn Of EnDoR.
  Marik: We do not care, piss off.
  • Bakura suggests Slenderman might be british:
  Marik: Last time I checked, british people didn't have tentacles!
  Bakura: Obviously you haven't met the royal family.
  • And finally, there's how Marik's game ends.
  Slender Man: HeY gUyS, i JuSt WaNtEd To LeT yOu KnOw I'lL bE kIlLiNg YoU iN aBoUt TeN sEcOnDs, OkAy?
  Marik: Frig off!
  Slender Man: OkAaAaAy.
  10 seconds later:
  Slender Man: (slowed down and sounding genuinely creepy for the first time) HeEeEeEeEeY gUyYyYyYyYyYyYs…
  Marik: GAH! IMBEINGKILLEDBYSLENDERMANIBETTERDRINKMYOWNPISS!
  Beat
  Bakura: What?
• Marik then decided to play the sequel, Slender: The Arrival. At one point during the first level, while Marik is desperately trying to convince himself that he's not high, Bakura decides to have some fun with him:
  Bakura: Marik?
  Marik: What?
  Bakura: Your head is a balloon.
  Marik: My head is not a balloon OH MY GOD WHAT IF IT IS?!
• Episode 2 of Slender: The Arrival has possibly the most Ho Yay-tastic line in the entire series. For context, Bakura is sitting on Marik's lap. Then Slendy scares the crap out of them.
  Marik: Your butt clenched on my wiener when you screamed!
  Bakura: It does that, okay?!
• After the TV scene of Slender: The Arrival, Marik asks if he's in the TV World from Persona 4. And if so, he's dating the hell out of Chie.