When the avatar is still in expositing amnesiac mode:
Avatar: Shepherds? You tend sheep? ... In full armor?
In the prologue chapter, when Lissa sees that the town is on fire (and being attacked by bandits) and the shepherds are preparing to rush to the rescue, Frederick asks what they should do about the newly discovered player character. Chrom's response: "Unless (he/she)'s on fire too, it can wait 'til later!"
Sully and Virion's first meeting. Just try to look at it and NOT laugh your ass off. The English's version's Large HamVoice Grunting for Virion makes it even better. This scene alone made Sully a lot more popular among fans.
How is Kellam recruited? He becomes playable the chapter after most of the rest of the Shepherds because they didn't realize that he was with them from the start.
Even better, he starts out as a neutral unit instead of actually being under your control right away. Not only did they totally ignore him in the last chapter, the rest of the Shepherds didn't notice Kellam following them all the way there, either. And since it's the game's first instance of a recruitable ally, an inattentive player can get a good ways through the battle before realizing that they need to talk to him.
If you're new to the game and don't know that you can talk to him, it's entirely possible to not recruit him and have him vanish for the rest of the game, making the running gag of people not noticing him even better.
How is Kellam introduced? While Lissa is introducing the Avatar to everyone, he makes a remark... that no one seems to notice. You don't even get to see his model!
He is in that scene, he's just off screen. If one looks very carefully when the scene starts, you can see part of his character model on the left side of the screen as the camera starts panning to the right.
And he's not even immune to it in the real world; most people don't realize that he's actually in the cover art!
That's nothing: In the official wallpaper, which is of the cover art but the characters are rearranged so they are spread out, Kellam is STILL obscured.
Lissa: Sumia, when you slap someone, you do it with an open palm. You just punched Chrom in the face! Sumia: Um... It's the thought that counts?
Also keep in mind that she still has her armor on when she punches him. A slap with a metal gauntlet would've been bad enough, but a punch? It's a wonder Chrom didn't lose any teeth or get his jaw broken.
Henry: Ever talk to a jester when he's off duty? Those guys are some sick dastards!
The first appearance of Cervantes in Chapter 16. "We will teach them the meaning of 'fear'!" "The meaning of 'beard', sir?" After correcting his subordinate, he then concedes that his beard is quite impressive, and that since he's never shaved it since his first battle and he's never lost a battle, his moustache makes him invincible. It's science!
Cervantes is a goldmine of these. In particular, when calling for reinforcements in Chapter 16:
Cervantes: Heh ha, yes! "Come, reinforcements," said the spider to...the...other spiders.
The scene in which "Marth" reveals who she really is; it's already Heartwarming and a Tear Jerker. However, when Sumia is married to Chrom, it also gets turned into a moment of funny, as Sumia completely misreads the situation and starts picking flowers, sadly playing the "He loves me, he loves me not" game, thinking she lost her husband to a girl who's actually her own daughter. And then when Chrom notices her, she goes "I'm not spying on you! You can't prove that I am!", which the distressed face she uses makes even funnier.
Another funny part of this scene is that Robin (regardless of gender) will see them out and will jokingly tell Chrom that people might get the wrong idea if they see him and "Marth" out there alone together, no matter the version. In fact, only if the Female Avatar is married to Chrom will she say she trusts him, though is still a little suspicious of why they need to be alone. So she/he actually might be subtly accusing him in every other version.
Each version where Chrom is married to a playable character (aside from Robin) has something to this effect. If Olivia is married to Chrom, she will be crying and remarking that she thought they would last forever. She will call her own daughter beautiful and say Chrom's happiness should come first. If Maribelle is married to Chrom, she angrily ponders whether she should be a "woman of good breeding" or punch Chrom in his cheating face. If Sully is married to Chrom, Sully is swinging a sword and grunting in the background. Chrom wonders why she is practicing, and Sully threatens to practice on her own daughter, who she calls a hussy. He, like in the Sumia version, tells each of his respective wives the truth after their misunderstanding.
At the end of the game, after the Big Bad is defeated... and if the Avatar has sacrificed him/herself, all characters will speak out their faith in his/her return. It's all quite touching, until it's Cherche's turn. It's a bit of a Mood Whiplash, but quite a funny one.
Cherche:Minerva says she still feels Avatar is of this world... Also that s/he smells delicious, but that's neither here nor there...
Immediately afterwards comes Henry...
Henry:Hey, Avatar, everyone's dying to see you alive. We're sick to death of death! That reminds me of a good one: two Risen, a wyvern, and a priest walk into a bar—
In Anna's recruitment paralogue, she acts confused when Chrom and the bandits say they've seen her before. Then at the end, she reveals that she really hasn't met them before, and proceeds to explain to Chrom about all of her identicalsisters.
Owain's Large Ham tendencies combine with possibly the strangest way to do a Mythology Gag ever ("Raaaadiant DAAAAAAAAAAAAWN!").
His recruitment talk with his mother, Lissa, in which he suddenly drops the Large Ham in favor of a more direct approach.
Owain: Blessed Mother! I have crossed oceans of time to find — Oh forget it. I'm your kid from the future!
If you have Owain get Missiletainn, the sage he gets it from will lampshade how it's not the real thing and is actually pretty generic, but Owain is too busy being a Large Ham to listen. It also kind of turns the whole paralogue into a CMOF, since the bandits were fighting over a generic weapon.
And then there's the end of the paralogue, when Frederick, outraged that anybody could impersonate Chrom and feeling he's failed in his duty as a knight because he allowed this to happen, vows to have pictures of Chrom distributed all over the world. Chrom's response is to sweat nervously and say "Frederick. Let's just go." The real kicker here is that, if you've done Chrom's C support with Frederick, it's extremely easy to understand why Chrom doesn't want Frederick distributing pictures of him all over the globe.
Nah's first appearance. She panics at the sight of a statue, then screams and runs from a Risen. Then...
Chrom: I'm Chrom. And finding amnesiacs is apparently my special talent.
He also freaks out when a Male Morgan mentions that the Avatar is his mother if Chrom is his father.
Brady's reunion with this mother. All of it.
Brady: That clear things up any, Ma? Maribelle: Everything save how I gave birth to a common thug! Brady: Aw, come on, Ma! That's harsh! (...) Maribelle: Well, can you at least ride? Have you read the classics? Do you play violin? Chess?! Brady: Yeah, all of the above. You beat all'a that junk into me. Maribelle: Glory be! My son is salvageable after all! Brady: Uh, thanks? Maribelle: Don't look so forlorn, dear. You've come a long way, but Mother's here now. I'll take care of things from now on. Brady: *Sniff* I missed you so much, Ma... Maribelle: Do not even THINK of crying! It does not befit one of your station! *Sniff* Plus, you'll set me off as well... Brady: S-sorry, I just... I... Oh, Ma! Maribelle: Oh, Brady! Chrom:Oh, brother.
In fact, a good deal of the child paralogues are funny, whether during the child's recruitment talks or reunion speech with their mothers at the end. Some highlights include Panne yelling at Yarne for being cowardly, Nah lampshading her strange name, and Sumia realizing she passed on her clumsiness to her daughter Cynthia.
Noire and Tharja act generally psychotic after being reunited. Chrom reacts probably the same way anyone would.
Noire: BWAAA HA HA HA HA!
Tharja: Eee hee hee hee hee!
Chrom: (sweating nervously) Oh, this is just wonderful...
Supports and Recurring Quotes
Frederick is Properly Paranoid for a good reason, even when it comes to clearing away debris and loose gravel from everywhere he goes. You want to know why? In Chrom and Sumia's C-Rank support, Chrom ends up tripping over a pebble (and what's even funnier is that it's NOT Sumia doing the tripping this time). This means that Frederick's paranoia about tripping over things has ground: people can trip over even pebbles and quite possibly, severely injure themselves.
Gaius and Tharja's first support:
Tharja: I want you to bring me a strand of Robin's hair.
Gaius: That's... unbelievably creepy. What do you need her hair for?
Gaius: Um, yeah. I don't usually take sinister chuckles as an answer.
There's also this gem in their B support
Gaius: Look, I know I'm unbelievably sexy, but you don't have to stare so hard.
Maribelle and Lissa's first support. I'd quote it, but part of the humor of the moment is in the shock value...
Maribelle and the Avatar's supports, where the avatar, as a bit of a prank, teaches Maribelle "The slang of the unwashed lowborn common folk". She proceeds to actually use it when talking to people around camp. And then when Robin clarifies that most of it is for "intimate friends", she freaks out when she finds out that calling Chrom a "right sweet bit'a fruit" probably wasn't the best idea. And then when she takes what the avatar said to mean that he considers her an intimate friend, she starts practicing on him, there's this exchange:
Avatar: MARIBELLE! Stop! Please! I can literally hear everything you stand for screaming and dying in agony! Look, I'll clear things up with everyone. Okay? I'll take the blame. Just please, please, PLEASE promise you'll never talk like that again.
The Avatar describing an encounter with a... colorful... shopkeeper in his/her first support with Sully:
Avatar: It's a rare form of dried seaweed, actually. I bought it back in town. The shopkeeper said it contained "insane quantities of fiber." Then he just kept saying "insane" and cackled while doing a little dance. Quite an odd fellow, really.
Sumia on animals:
I think that every creature is weird and wonderful in its own way! ...Except cows. Cows just annoy me.
One of Lucina's supports with whoever winds up as her younger sibling note Cynthia, Brady, Kjelle, Inigo, or Male Morgan is hilarious. Lucina sees her sibling running away, and he/she then says that it's a large bug. Lucina is at first exasperated, but also begins to freak out when the fly comes near her, and her sibling asks her to try and kill it with fire magic.Chrom is the one who ends up dealing with it after he hears the commotion.
Even more hilarious is if this happens with Morgan, since if he's her brother, he should have defaulted to the Tactician class. Meaning that barring an immediate class change, he can use fire magic himself, but still freaked out enough to tell her to do it instead. Even funnier is that he starts out with an Elfire Tome during his recruitment paralogue.
Depending on who it is, it's even more humorous. It's perfectly in-character for Morgan or Cynthia, and humorous when a scruff looking person like Brady, or somebody like Inigo who's constantly trying to impress women, runs away from a bug, but to see Kjelle running from a bug is funny when you consider how much armour she's wearing!
The Avatar's attempts at cooking, which meet with... varying levels of success, a Mythology Gag to the previous Avatar's similarly lackluster performance in the kitchen. He/she actually develops something of a complex about it in some supports, such as Avatar x Nowi.
Avatar: ...Well, it looks... edible? At least? Nowi: At LEAST? I think it smells totally scrumptious! Avatar: The proof is in the flavor. Which, I don't know... Looks like it could fall anywhere between mud and toenails...
Similarly, Lissa is apparently awful at cooking, and totally ignorant of this.
A lot of Gregor's dialogue too. He's got Funny Foreigner and Blunt Metaphors Trauma going on, but he can still manage to be funny even when those aren't played-up, such as this line from his recruitment:
Another good moment includes a lampshading of Gregor's Face of a Thug. He realizes Nowi's afraid of him and says he has an "innocent baby face," to which Robin replies that's not exactly how he/she would put it...
Gregor: Hey, Avatar. Why have you not punched the sack yet?
Gregor's C support with Sully.
Gregor: Many brave men will testify to Gregor's skill with blade. Is too bad all are being dead! Ho ho ho! Oh, Gregor love that joke."
ALL of Gregor's supports with Sully!
"Hail, Sullykins, brave and faithful ally!"
When proposing to Cherche, Donnel not only gets her a ring but also Minerva.
Kellam and Olivia's C support - Kellam ends up giving Olivia life advice... only for Olivia to thank the tree she thought was talking, not poor Kellam who was standing right behind her.
Even what Kellam says when killed is hilarious... well, his voiced line is anyways. His death quote itself is... something else...
Kellam: They...saw me...
Lon'qu and Miriel's supports are a hoot, as well as just the tiniest bit heartwarming. Time and again, Miriel finds herself wandering into danger when lost in her thoughts, only to have Lon'qu rescue her. Curious about Lon'qu's insistence on saving her, even though he doesn't seem to like her, she continues to put herself into danger as an experiment, then toying with Lon'qu's fear of women by filling his tent with statues. Eventually, Lon'qu ends up falling for Miriel, and gives one of the bluntest proposals in the game.
"I'm asking you to marry me, idiot!"
In Kellam's supports with Avatar, it's revealed that many of the Shepherds think the barracks is haunted because drinks magically show up for them at the table and they hear voices out of nowhere.
Most of Kellam's paired endings will go on to list his wife's great accomplishments... and then state that her husband's name has been lost to history.
When buying, selling, or forging an item for a character, each of them have something to say. Some of their comments can be pretty funny:
Kellam: (selling) Go ahead. Sell my life. I'll be over here. Owain: Please, no! All my stuff has sentimental value!
Basilio and Flavia's lines when selling something could likely double as Brick Jokes to each other:
Basilio: I should have brought some Feroxi treasure to sell... Flavia: You dare sell the khan's royal treasure? Ha ha.
All of Henry's shopping lines count too.
"Yay! Excessive spending!" "Should we mention the hex on it, or sell it as-is?" "Ooh, give it spikes! Make it something brutal!"
Yarne's generally pretty funny, but his "Confession" is gold.
Some of his other voiced lines are hilarious too.
Yarne: Don't mess with a bunny!
Another one of his lines in battle has him cheerily saying that his foot is lucky.
Henry's supports with Tharja are excellent. They're otherwise so alike, but he'ssohappy and she'ssosour that the contrast becomes absolutely hilarious. Plus he eventually turns a bouquet of flowers into a bunch of sticks because he thinks she'll like that better.
And then there's this gem from that support set:
Tharja: With that kind of power, you could have easily deflected my earlier curse...
Henry: Oh yeah. I guess so, huh? Although you didn't need to put a truth curse on me, you know? I don't have anything to hide, and I've never told a lie in my life.
Tharja: Aha! At last you reveal the source of your power. You disarm your foes with terrifying honesty and sincerity!
Henry: Well, usually I disarm foes by removing their arms. But your way sounds impressive, too!
And when they get to S support, it sounds like someone did get the wrong idea, as rumors of the two being an item have spread all over the camp.
Then they decide to become a couple pretty much because everyone already thinks they are, so why not.
The entirety of Chrom's supports with the female Avatar, in which he cannot seem to keep his foot out of his mouth. In their B support, he walks in on her bathing. In their A support, she returns the favor. Their S support is the world's most awkward love confession, complete with the Avatar wondering why Chrom is "fidgeting like you've got a squirrel in your pantaloons," Chrom insisting that he's going to speak his mind "even if your head explodes in embarrassment!", and then having to psyche himself up into saying it via a series of exaggerated breathing exercises until the Avatar impatiently demands that he spit it out already.
Not to mention Chrom is blushing heavily for nearly the whole conversation, which is both hilarious and adorable. And then he apologizes for "coming on like a wyvern in heat."
Owain and Lucina's A support has Lucina renaming Falchion "Pointy Demonspanker", and Owain's desperately trying to convince her to change the name without breaking it to her how stupid it is. He tells her that, since naming a weapon imbues it with a soul, changing the name of Falchion is an insult to the spirit is has borne for thousands of years. She takes this completely seriously, sweating, going "I... did not consider that..." while her voice clip is her "No... Oh gods NO!". She tends totake utterly mundane stuff completely seriouslya lot of times, actually...
And then there's Owain's positively epic supports with a male Morgan, where Owain confronts him in his usual hammy, bombastic manner, and Morgan completely goes along with Owain's claims that they're destined nemeses, they become "eternal ally-versaries", and start LARPING. And Morgan throws a "flamingo punch".
Owain: Let our extremely protracted duel to the death begin!
Better, Morgan initially doesn't have a clue what Owain is talking about and appears completely unsure of how to respond. Well, until he finally catches on, at which point he perfectly ad-libs, without breaking character or the in-story fourth wall, a reason to go along with Owain's antics despite not "noticing" their destined rivalry.
Owain: Ah ha! I've found you, Morgan!
Morgan: What? What's wrong? Has something happened?
Owain: Aye, the second I saw you, something happened! I knew you for my one and only rival!
Morgan: Beg your pardon?
Owain: My soul sensed your powerful aura, and all at once realized our cosmic incongruity!
Morgan: Wow, I... must not have noticed.
Owain: You are the only one who could ever stand as my equal in battle. Now... ANSWER MY CALL!
Morgan: I'm still not sure what you're talking about, but you sound absolutely convinced. And to be honest, I find myself... intrigued. Even though it makes no earthly sense. I can't see how any self-respecting warrior could turn away from such fiery passion.
Male Morgan's S support with Kjelle has him walking in onher bathing. The rest of the support involves him apologizing profusely and stuttering through his proposal...and this:
Brady and Lucina's "C" support when they are siblings - just because it's BRADY calling for help.
Brady and his father's "C" support, wherein Brady prepares tea for his father. His father is surprised that he would never miss a tea time, and Brady thinks Maribelle made it up to play a prank. Brady decides to go confront Maribelle about it and tells his father to drink his tea... but not before stopping to say "By the way keep that on or the tea will get cold." The support ends with Brady's father saying "When did my life get so weird?"
Brady and Owain have a hilarious C support that takes place when it's Brady's turn to cook the army's meal for the evening. It peaks about here:
Owain: Cooking? You? Dinner? Ha! I'd sooner believe a cavalier riding a pegasus over the moon! Brady: Aw, I ain't got time for this malarkey! Look, tonight's my turn, all right? Now make like some eggs and beat it! You're gonna ruin the flavor. Owain: I will not be deceived by such deceits! What manner of madman would allow you a turn at cooking for the camp? Brady: I'm a fine cook, all right! I learned from my dear ol' ma! So just... *sniff* G-get off my back! Owain: Whoa...um, are you crying? Brady: N-no! *sniff* ...And you're slipping out of character. Owain: Brady, you are totally crying! Brady: L-leave me alone! I was just cuttin' up taters, all right?! Owain: Don't you mean onions? I don't think there's anything in potatoes that— Brady: I JUST FELT BAD FOR 'EM, OKAY?!
Chrom and Frederick's "C" support. Frederick takes "measures" to boost the morale of their troops. What are these measures you ask? Having an artist create a naked painting of Chrom and pinning them in each and every tent in their camp.
Making it even worse, on every painting he scrawled their new recruiting motto: "Chrom wants you!"
The B-Rank is just as good. Right after that Chrom desperately ran from tent to tent ripping down the posters. Lissa apparently laughed so hard she nearly pulled a muscle.
It gets better in their A-Rank. Frederick has a mental breakdown over Chrom telling him to stop "helping" so much, and instead takes it Up to Eleven, getting incredibly OCD over everything in Chrom's path and (sadly off-screen) dusting Robin when they get to his/her tent.
For fun, try making Donnel and Panne fall in love with each other. Not only is it the single most awkward relationship you can imagine...but The Dev Team Thinks of Everything. They bond by Donnel making traps and Panne falling into them. This culminates in Donnel proposing to Panne after trapping her in a deeper pitfall than normal...and getting trapped himself.
Even better, Panne claims that setting the trap for her is really "sweet"... which may come in useful since they may be trapped without food for a while.
Gaius and Panne are also a great couple. He's totally obsessed with a sugary "candy tree" at the top of a cliff, and keeps getting himself stuck up there and forcing her to play "Panne knight" and carry him back down.
Frederick and Panne are just as hilarious. Frederick actually has a fear of large animals due to traumatic, near-death experience involving wolves in his childhood. In the C Support, he has a panic attack when Panne comes charging at him in her animal form. The later supports involve her hilarious attempts at trying to cure Frederick of his phobia.
Panne: All right, I'm coming closer.
Frederick: Hey, this isn't so—NOT ONE STEP CLOSER, SHE-WITCH!
Panne: All right, that's it. (Panne leaps on top of Frederick.)
Frederick: AUGH, NO... Hey, this isn't so bad. Look at your fluffy ears.
Panne: OW! Don't grab them!
In Lon'qu's C Support with Maribelle she asks him what the hell he was doing in the last battle. His response? "Stabbing People."
Lon'qu and Nowi's supports. All of them. Lon'qu winds up playing house with Nowi, and the entire set of conversations is filled with lots of lines of pure gold, including but not limited to the following:
Nowi: (When Lon'qu decides he'll play house with her after initially saying no) *Sniffle* Wh-what did you say? I can't hear because I'm CRYING!
Lon'qu: (While playing house) Now I shall pretend to engage in agriculture. Chop chop, shovel!
Nowi: (Upon revealing that the rather dysfunctional family they are roleplaying is based on one she spied on in the nearby village) This game is totally based on reality!
Lon'qu: (His eventual reaction when Nowi says their arguments are no fun if he just sighs) I don't like this family you invented!
Can be made funnier if Henry is her father, as in Henry/Nowi's supports, Henry has been thinking of ways to make dragons for Nowi to play with, and in their S support, suggests having kids as a solution.
Inigo and Severa's B support includes this:
Severa: What must it be like to live in your head? Are there happy ponies in there? Its really something how utterly delusional your optimism is. If I didn't hate you so much, I might even be impressed.
Inigo: Huzzah! I got a heavily qualified and slightly sarcastic compliment from Severa!
Inigo's supports with Brady and Gerome has him forcing them into being his wingman. It does not go the way he intended it.
Brady's has Inigo blackmailing him into playing the Sensitive Guy to Inigo's supposed Manly Man. After trying to disgrace Brady to make himself look better, every woman in the vicinity hordes Brady for being a Jerk with a Heart of Gold.
Gerome's has Inigo literally carry Gerome into being his wingman. He does this four times, and Gerome gets horded for being a stoicbad boy every time. To say nothing of the fact that apparently some of the girls apparently followed Gerome back to camp and sang outside his tent all night.
And before then, Inigo is wondering what he ever did to Gerome to deserve the silent treatment he initially got from Gerome, and then he starts remembering some stuff he did do, including, for some reason, leaving a ton of butter in Gerome's tent. Which apparently attracted butter scorpions. And then after that, Gerome delivers this burn when Inigo says that they're allies:
Gerome:"Allies?" You expect me to rely on you in combat? To team up with you? Your only expertise is in flirting, and you still manage to fail spectacularly! I'll take my chances alone.
Morgan: Come on, it's not too late to change your mind! Let's go philander! C'mooon! Inigo: No! You're going to sit here and talk with me, and you're going to enjoy it! Morgan: BOOOOORING.
Lucina's C rank support with her sibling, with both characters freaking out because of a giant bug. The beginning of the B rank is also hilarious, with Lucina's sibling using the Falchion to cut fruit.
And in the A rank support, once Lucina and her sibling finds out that her sibling can't use the Falchionor so they think, once Lucina leaves, he or she tells it that it better do a good job protecting Lucina, or else it will be demoted to "Royal Fruitcutter".
Again, this is even more humorous depending on who Lucina's sibling is - especially if her sibling is Kjelle or Brady. It's in-character for Inigo or Cynthia.
It's less blatant than others, but in exchange for Lon'qu's growing respect in his support with a Male Avatar, the female counterpart's on the receiving end of Lon'qu's lampshade tossing in regards to her unusual antics in theirs.
In the A rank support, after apparently having some difficulty to get him to lighten up, she ends up confessing her willingness to act really weird to befriend him, and that's what makes him laugh (and completely outright in Japanese compared to a simple "Heh.").
In Gerome and Noire's S support, Noire actually ends up playing the part of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, particularly with this bit:
Noire: Gods, but you can be such a wet fish at times!
Gerome: I am NOT a wet fish!
Noire: You do understand what I'm trying to get at here, don't you? I'm lining up the practice dummies! All you have to do is swing blindly! Is it really so hard to tell a girl that you like her?
And then this part. Honestly, what makes it all so amusing is how it's Gerome in this position:
Gerome: You see, sometimes when two people... Things happen. Stuff... *mumbles* Okay, I like you.
It's hard to not find any Supports involving Nowi/Nah/Morgan where they interact with one of the men that isn't a Crowning Moment.
Morgan's supports with Brady start with Brady accusing Morgan of being a spy due to her amnesia. At first Morgan is insulted that he'd suggest such a thing...before turning around and saying that it's completely normal to suspect that. In their B support, she notes that Brady is really exhausted and decides to help him...by subjecting him to what she calls "Morgan's Adventures in Nutrition" which consists of her force feeding Brady viper lifeblood and bear gizzards ("Put the stuff of bears in you! It's gotta be strong, because, hey, BEARS! ...Am I right!?"). It's up to the player to decide which is funnier: picturing Morgan force feeding Brady or the fact that it actually worked.
Anna and Tiki's entire support conversation, especially at the end where Tiki was going to literally eat Anna for taking advantage of Tiki's celebrity status in a Get Rich Quick Scheme.
Anna: T-Tiki? Wh-why are you pulling out a Dragonstone?! Tiki: To teach you that deceiving an oracle bears a hefty price. Now still your lying tongue and prepare to be eaten. Anna: Aaaah, WAIT! You've got me all wrong! I, uh... I'm donating the proceeds! Yeah, that's it! To charities! Shanty Pete's Orphanage gets some, and so does, um...the Widows of Gangrel! Oh, and I'm giving a big hunk to People for the Ethical Treatment of Wyverns!
The surprising thing is that Tiki seems completely serious about eating Anna.
Tiki: And you will give me every coin you have so far earned in my name. I shall see if I can't return them to their former owners personally. Anna: Oh, come on! you're killing me here! Tiki: You are free, of course, to decline. In which case you may pursue a new career opportunity in food services.
Frederick's B and A supports with the Avatar are hilarious, especially when s/he tricks him into eating bear meat...twice. The second time, his voiced "GEAAAAAUUUUGH!" upon finding out what he's eating just adds to the hilarity.
Avatar: Okay, this one's venison. Frederick: *munch, munch* Avatar: ...By which I mean bear. Frederick: PFFFFFFFFT! Augh! By the gods! I'm d-dying! Dying! Ah... It's s-so dark... T-tell Chrom that... Avatar: Oh, stop exaggerating!
Tharja and Lon'qu's A ranked support converstaion. Pretty much Tharja is going to erase Lon'qu memories so that he doesn't have to deal with the bad memories. After he rejects her offer there is this golden converstation.
Tharja: Hey, I spent hours collecting bat wings. You can't back out now! Lon'qu: I have confidence a woman of your ilk will have another use for them.
Tharja's supports with the Avatar are priceless. She senses the dark forces hidden within the Avatar and becomes infatuated with your character, regardless of gender. The C Support has her admitting to the Avatar that she's been watching the avatar sleep and taking notes on anything and everything he/she does. In the B support, after the Avatar offhandedly mentions that Tharja should try to be a little bit more normal, she attempts to act like a Genki Girl, complete with awkward, high-pitched laughs and eel pie.
Even better, Tharja says she's been counting how many times Robin rolls over in his/her sleep, which causes him/her to get quite (justifiably) disturbed at the implication of just how long this has been going on.
Vaike teaches Nowi how to whistle:
Nowi: PTHHHHLBP! *splutter*
Vaike: You sound like a camel that swallowed bagpipes.
In Maribelle's B support with Olivia, she helps her try to overcome her shyness by performing some "shock therapy" with her designed to do just that. As we find out from the results in their A support... this involved them hitting on strangers with techniques meant to be used by "gentlemen only," as Maribelle realizes afterwards, including wolf whistles and bad pickup lines.
Olivia: Those pantaloons must be made of mirrors, for I can see myse-(cut off)
And in their C support, we see Olivia finishing her dancing practice on her own, which oddly enough includes imagining the crowd's reaction in a manner that seems really odd coming from Olivia:
Olivia: ONE and TWO and THREE... One more pirouette aaaaaand... Hold for applause! Yay, Olivia! Woooo! Standing ovation! Olivia's the best! Marry me, Olivia!
The Avatar's actual supports with Vaike, in which the former catches the latter trying to peek on the girls while bathing, only for both of them to get chased off by Sully's horse. And then it happens again in their B support. The Avatar's reactions are priceless.
In Severa's C Support with her father, she flatters him by saying that "in this timeline, [he]'s not that much older than [her]". While this line fits well if her father is someone like Henry, it becomes unintentionally hilarious if her father is, say, Gregor.
And then there's her S support with Brady, where she reveals that their S&B Society was just an excuse to be with him. When she lets this slip after Brady suggests they start hanging out with the others and he offers to join her:
Severa: But that dream up and blew away. So fine! Go! Run off and be with everyone else! I'll just stay here and eat this dirt!
(Proceeds to actually eat dirt, then spits it out in disgust)
Severa:...Gods I can't even do that right.
Quite a few of Maribelle's conversations are pretty hilarious if you're used to her dainty, etiquette-obsessed personality:
If you play on your avatar's birthday, Gaius will wish you a happy birthday... and then ask if he can have a slice of cake.
Sully and Lon'qu's S Support. He tells her how she's made a better man out of him, proposes, and she accepts...then asks if now that the mushy stuff is over, can they please get back to hitting each other?!
Similarly, in Sully & Frederick's S support, Sully says that his proposal makes her feel like sunbeams and puppies on the inside, and you know it's serious if she's gushing like that. Frederick asks if she'll be his sunbeam, with her replying that she will if he'll be her puppy. ...This embarrasses both of them, so they quickly get back to sparring.
Stahl's confession scene with the Avatar is a combination of this and Adorkable:
Stahl: My lady, I may never take my eyes off of you again... unless I'm about to walk into a wall.
In Morgan and Nah's S support, Nah prays to Naga, who tells them both to get a room. It gets funnier if you've actually seen Naga in-story.
The line about the Avatar not finding Chrom all that attractive may be even funnier if she and Chrom have gotten their A-rank support by then.
In their B support, Owain and Cynthia argue about their Dynamic Entry tendencies in battle until Owain starts to derail from the topic by describing in great detail an Unstoppable Rage moment, which leaves him with no friends and only his "thoughts" as company. Cynthia is thoroughly confused.
It gets even better in their A Support where Owain explains the rest of his "Avenger Mode" story:
Owain: But then a heroine appears to stop my tortured onslaught! It's...Cynthia! Cue the harps and bells!
Cynthia: Hey! I want no part of this!
Owain: The strong but fair Cynthia will stop at nothing to end my mad reign of terror! And end it she does, though she pays the ultimate price...
Cynthia: Wait—I DIE?!
The male Avatar and Aversa's B Support, in which she reveals that she is the Avatar's adoptive sister, teases the Avatar for it, and only agrees to come back to sleep at the camp if her "biiig sibwing agwees to pwotect her!"
Avatar: You know what? Stay here. Get eaten by bears. I don't give a damn.
Stahl and Panne's A rank support is this due to Alien Lunch:
Stahl: Oh, what is this?
Panne: Firefruit. Edible to Taguel, however it causes a burning sensation on contact with human skin.
Stahl: This is delicious! Wait what did you say- Ow my fingers- OH GODS IT'S IN MY EYES! (Hits head.)
Panne: Stahl, are you dead? Nod if you are not dead.
Lon-qu and Miriel's A rank support. Apparently, in an attempt to figure out the limits of his fear of women, she filled his tent with statues of women. Lon'qu destroys them all as he's Genre Savvy enough to know what would happen if anyone finds out that the man with a fear of women has his tent full of statues of them. This can get even funnier if you believe it happened while he was asleep and woke up screaming as he was suddenly surrounded by statues he didn't remember being there the night before.
While the father-child supports are rather generic for obvious reasons, the father's speaking style may be different and add some level of humor to the conversation. Notable ones are Henry, Vaike, Gregor, and Lon'qu.
Doubling as a shout-out, one of Gregor's lines in a father-daughter support with Noire has him spouting this gem
It's amusing to see how caring of a father Lon'Qu is while simultaneously staying away from his daughters.
Frederick and Tharja's C Support. Frederick is in the middle of doing muscle training with the Avatar in Frederick's Fanatical Fitness Hour. Tharja, jealous, considers cursing all of them so she can have the Avatar to herself, but thinks that would be too much trouble. She then considers cursing the Avatar to smell bad so no one will want to be around him/her. But that would mean the Avatar would smell like an out house. Also...
Frederick: This exercise is great for building stomach muscles. Come on, just 300! 299... 298...
Avatar: Going... to... die...
In one of Lon'qu and Maribelle's supports, Lon'qu has a moment of understated panic:
Lon'qu: My arm. You're touching my arm. ...Please stop touching my arm.
She also delivers this little nugget at one point:
Maribelle: At this rate, a little girl could simply walk up and kill you with a spoon.
Pretty much all of Gaius' supports with the Avatar are hilarious, but the female Avatar gets a couple of extra lines from him about her walking in on him in the bath.
Avatar: Gaius, I am SO sorry about earlier! I had no idea you were in the bath...
Gaius: Aw, no worries. At least I hadn't taken off my smallclothes yet, eh? Er, but I did want to mention I'm usually in much better shape. With the stress of this blasted war, I've been eatin' more sweets than usual. Usually I'm a real piece of eye candy. Belly like a washboard, glutes like a lumberja—
If Henry is Inigo's father, he'll make the same noise after Inigo Glomps him in their A-rank.
Henry's "proposal" to Lissa. He just casually tosses out that they should get married and Lissa complains that he could at least set the mood before asking her. Alas, she's dealing with Henry here...
Henry: I'm not much of a mood guy, I'm afraid, unless we're talking gruesome bloodshed...
As the group's official thief, many of Gaius' supports deal with the other characters suspecting him of stealing stuff from his fellow Shepherds. In his C support with Nowi it is revealed that this isn't completely untrue. But where the others think he's after their valuables, Gaius is more interested in stealing everyone's desserts. In fact, when Nowi comes to pester him, he's just about to eat Chrom's...
Shrinking Violet and Reluctant Warrior Olivia is hilarious as a frontline fighter, especially when she crits and kills someone in one blow while screaming "I didn't want to do this!" The voice acting really sells it.
One of her crit quotes plays on her Stage Fright, and has her say "Stop Staring!" before potentially landing a One-Hit Kill. Her Cut-In also has her close her eyes.
One of the crit quotes also has her say, "Oooh, I didn't wanna do this!". What makes it hilarious is that if she kills an enemy, she can potentially wind up saying, "I did it!"
Owain and Kjelle's S support. He confesses his love for her to her armor, of all things, thinking she had already left the room. Of course, she was still there. Owain tries to save the situation but ultimately resigns to his fate:
Owain: Look, I didn't... I mean, I do, but... I was gonna tell you as some point!
Owain: Urgh. Just stab me and get it over with.
He also wondered if Kjelle already had a boyfriend. A big dumb one, whose name was Troy. Or Steve... Or Chaz or something, who was going to fold him into a pretzel.
Virion and Lissa's B support:
Virion:I have only the deepest admiration for you. I'm envious, in fact. Men of my elevated station must suspect all who surround them. You and your brother are blessed to live free of such petty intrigues.
Lissa:You DO realize that as a princess I outrank you twenty times over. ...Right?
Virion:Oh, well...yes... *ahem* I suppose you would, wouldn't you? But then royalty has its own kind of shield from many of life's harsher realities. A fact lesser nobles such as myself know only too well! Caught between the huddled masses below and the royal houses above... O onerous fate! Can one of my standing ever know rest?!
Lissa:...Nope. I still don't see how you have it harder than my brother.
Virion:Er... Yes, well it's a...nuanced thing. A casual observer might agree that leading an army is the greater burden. But to the trained eye, it's quite clear that... You see, um...
Lissa:You have no idea what you're talking about, do you?
Virion:NO! I DON'T! OKAY?! Are you pleased to hear it?!
Virion and Tharja's supports are overall heartwarming. But the C and B supports are golden and shows off Virion's Large Ham tendencies
Tharja Dasher and derricks... Remodel the barracks!
Virion As you wish, milady! Virion, AWAY!
Even funnier because even when she got him to act like a cat, The Reveal at the end is that her curses didn't work on him, he only did what she asked because of her beauty.
Gaius and Sumia's B support. Gaius has been following bees in an effort to locate their hive (and the delicious honey inside), and Sumia decides to, eh, "help" him...
Sumia: Oh, Gaaaius! Yoo-hoo! I've found the beehive! Now, I just... *grunt* have to... *grunt* pull it off this branch... Gaius: What in the... Are you mad, woman?! You can't just go grabbing beehives! Sumia: EEEEK! Bees! Bees! Oh gods, they're everywhere! Gaius: I warned you, you daft—- Um, what are you doing? H-hey! Don't run TOWARD me! Sumia: Here's your beehive, Gaius—-catch! Sorry, gotta run! See you later!
Virion and Nowi B Support. Nowi wants Virion to play a game with her, after listing several.
Even better, the game apparently takes a long time to start.
Nowi: So let's start, OK? I'll count to... um... one million and you go hide! Virion: One million? Do you realise how long that will take? Nowi: ONNNNNE... TWOOOOOO.... THREEEEEE.... Virion: My life is flashing before my eyes! ...very, very slowly...
Miriel and Stahl's C support. When Miriel wants to watch Stahl practice, Stahl says he'd be happy to let her, but he just finished. So Miriel does a very unexpected bit of passive-aggressive guilt-tripping that finally gets him to do his exercises over again, ending with:
Miriel: Well, I suppose I can find another, more lucrative field of study. Perhaps I will just...observe this rock. Yes, that should suffice. Hmm... It's round. And smooth. Wait! ...No, it's still round.
Lon'qu and Miriel's supports are hilarious, especially in their C conversation where she almost walks off a cliff without noticing.
In their B support, Lon'qu tells Miriel about his problem with women, and she promptly asks him if this extends to cats, monkeys, statues and bodies of women.
Pretty much all of Virion and Libra's supports. Special mention must go to their B Support, where Virion reveals that he's gotten paranoid every time he tries to flirt with ladies now, and a woman apparently slapped him when he asked her if she was really a woman or not.
The Female Avatar asking Tiki questions while the latter is sleeping. The best part comes in their A-Support when Tiki complains about a hag (Female MU) asking her questions and calls it a nightmare. When Tiki goes back to sleep, the Female MU tries to get closer to hear her again, only for Tiki to threaten FeMU.
Walhart as a villain emanates dread. Walhart as your ally however? He'll leave you in stitches.
And their S support, where Henry reveals that he bought an engagement ring while in Sumia's body.
Sumia: B-but the jeweler might think I'm a pathetic spinster buying her own ring!
Henry: Oh yeah. He definitely thinks that. Anyway, do you like it?
In the Gaius and Olivia supports, he tries his hand at baking pies and has her try them.
Gaius: "Strap yourself in and get ready to ride the flavor stallion!"
There's a rather funny bit of Gameplay and Story Integration in Sully and male Robin's C Support. In her roster entry, Sully is described as "the woman to end all men." When she's yelling at Robin about how she doesn't care about her figure, just her muscle mass, Robin will briefly freak out and beg her not to attack him. Even better: Sully becomes genuinely confused as to why Robin thinks she's going attack him. In fact, the Support conversations between them are funny in general. For example, their B and A Supports revolve around them fighting and bonding over the results of the fitness contest from the C support, which includes both of them suffering over the effects of eating the dried seaweed Robin brought up at the end of the C Support.
Most of Gregor's endings start out with a line about him sinking into a life of excess and gluttony, usually with his wife pulling him out of it somehow. With Cordelia, it's because he feels ashamed to be so lazy when she's working so hard, with Nowi it's to travel the world with her ( possibly to look for her family since she was kidnapped as an infant). Marry him to Tharja....
Gregor's supports with Cordelia have him trying to help her win Chrom over. He makes a "love is war" metaphor and describes how getting into someone's heart takes a "surprise attack." However, Cordelia takes it too far, and surprises Chrom by jumping out of a bush while wearing a Risen mask. Imagining Chrom's reaction to that is the icing on the cake.
Gaius and Libra's B support, where Libra invites Gaius to join him in prayer. Gaius doesn't quite grasp how praying works and instead gives the gods a list of all the sweets he wants.
Libra: That wasn't a prayer - it was a market list! The gods are not scullery maids who deliver treacle tarts on demand!
Gaius: Oh. Right, yeah...sure. Sorry. Got carried away. I'll start over, then. *Ahem* O most horrifying and fattened gods, thou art most tricksy in thine ways...
Libra: D-dear gods, please send not lightning to strike down this heretic... He knows not what he does!
Gaius: I will deliver unto thee my first-born son, if only you make donuts rain down upon—
Gaius: ...Whoops. Sorry.
More hilariously, it's possible for Gaius to actually have a "first-born son" by this point, as some pointed out
One of Kellam's critical hit quotes has him shout out, "Come on, look at me!!". His voice acting rarely portrays much emotion, so hearing plainly audible frustration out of him is hilarious.
DLC Maps and Characters
The first DLC map has a lot of great moments, many of them courtesy of Old Hubba. One that isn't, though, is the exchange between Lissa and Alm:
Alm: They say women have a high resistance to magic. Lissa: Maybe chauvinism is just highly flammable.
Miriel, of all people, has one if you have her battle Lilina.
Miriel: I sense voluminous reserves of magic amalgamating within you. It should prove quite elucidating to dissect you piece by piece. Lilina: What?! I'm not some frog for you to pick apart! Miriel: No, of course not. I have no interest in frogs. But come at me anyway. Let us see whether or not you croak.
Really, anything Old Hubba says, but this stands out, his response after Prince Marth accuses the heroes of trying to kidnap Aversa.
And once again, Kellam gets ignored; the Risen didn't even touch his gold, which was in a bag clearly labeled "gold".
Even more hilarious perhaps, is the amount of money they were robbed of; let's just say a beggar has better savings than most of them. Lissa even praises Frederick for having a double-digit amount of coins!
What's more, Chrom is more surprised by how poor everyone is than the monstrous pile of gold they collected.
Tharja is outraged that the Risen would take her toolkit. She would have GIVEN them the money, but the lock of the Avatar's hair that was in it was priceless!
It turns out that Ricken was saving up for medicine that could make him taller.
Like Kellam, Maribelle apparently didn't get robbed either. This causes her to get absolutely enraged, because she thinks the Risen mistook her for being poor.
Gangrel chastises them for robbing scum lower than themselves.
Walhart's quote comes off as a Badass Boast, but still hilarious nonetheless:
Walhart: Only a wretch would grasp at the gold clinking in the pockets of others. You want to steal from a conqueror? Best pray that coin doesn't melt in hell.
Morgan is utterly incredulous to the fact that they were robbed, before they turn to anger. They were going to use that money to buy books and impress their mother/father!
Morgan: How dare you interfere with my ploys to get attention!
And then there's the ending, when Victor and Vincent are talking to each other, and Vincent drops what his mom apparently used to tell him: "If at first ya don't succeed... Retry the level and don't louse it up this time, ya daft arse!"
In Paralogue 18, the Shepherds encounter Gangrel, former Mad King of Plegia, reduced to working with a rabble of bandits. Not content with brutalizing and dethroning him, Chrom takes this opportunity to rub salt in his wounds.
It'd be cruel if it were anyone else, but since it isn't, it's just plain funny.
In the DLC EXPonential Growth, some player characters' dialogue before facing off the group of vegetarian Entombed that stole produce from a village are gold. When they're not commenting on that, they're at least somewhat aware of why they're fighting...
Libra: It is a terrible sin to impede the hard work of honest folk. Repent now, and I may be inclined to... ...... You're just going to sit there and moan a lot, aren't you? Right. I suppose I'll just end you and let the gods sort it out, then.
Cherche: My, aren't you a darling. What a shame we stand here as enemies. Minerva would have loved to have such an adorable playmate. As it stands, I cannot let you pass. Even the cute must pay their dues.
Lon'qu: Now you're a piece of work. Got a lot to gain by picking on the weak, is that it? ... Well, so do I.
Virion: The way you handle your bow. You should wield it with more...grace. Norne: Grace matters, does it? Virion: A lady needs to be supple, aware of her curves, and taut under pressure. Norne: And what does a lady's bow need to do?
In Lost Bloodlines 2, if Lucina faces off against Prince Marth, he questions why they're wearing the same clothes.
If you have Sully speak to Jamke, he questions whether she is truly a knight. She immediately chews him out for being sexist, but he calmly informs her that he asks not because of her gender but because of her language. Nonetheless, he agrees to watch her "arse".
Walhart's quote when he finds an item on the ground:
Walhart: What's this? Haha, an item! KNEEL BEFORE YOUR NEW MASTER!
If you marry Gangrel and recruit Morgan, they'll sometimes have these conversation quotes when they step on a sparkling tile together.
In Smash Brethren 1, Chrom finds out that neither Roy's or Ike's army believes they summoned the Shepards to help. When Roy asks why Chrom came to help, Chrom decides to lie by telling him his army was suddenly overcome by a sudden flash of light and just appeared. Roy questions why Chrom's army isn't disoriented from it, but Chrom tells him that his army is just that Crazy-Prepared for sudden flashes of light.
In Smash Brethren 2, Owain tries to impress Mist with his "rapier wit". But she says he's more of a "rapier twit".
More like that entire conversation. Owain suddenly becomes even more batsh*t insane than usual, constantly referring to Mist as a "wench", saying it is his duty to protect all wenches, and that every fiber of his being whispers to him "Sic Semper Wenchicus", to which Mist confusedly tranlsates with "...And thus to all wenches?" Finally, he makes a reference to LEGEND OF ZELDA with one of his attack names, causing Mist to reply "Oh gods... I do need protection."
If Lon'qu speaks to Ike, he asks Ike to fight a tough opponent so he can observe his fighting style. Ike wryly says he's not putting on a show.
Eirika attempts to bribe Gaius to sit the fight out with candy after he jokingly names his price. "Woah, woah! I was kidding! Do I look that easy to buy off?"
If Kjelle goes against Hector, she turns into a gushing fangirl.
In Rogues & Redeemers 1, Arvis makes an attempt at being chivalrous...to Libra.
In Rogues & Redeemers 2, Gangrel can piss off the Black Knight if he speaks to him.
The death animation of pegasus-riding classes is already goofy, but Aversa inelegantly smashing on the ground, face first, is just hilarious.
In the Harvest Scramble map, after watching Victor and Vincent passionately complimenting each other, Frederick suggests that he and Chrom do the same as they do. Chrom immediately commands him to pick up his lance and start killing things.
For that matter, no sooner does Chrom suggest enjoying the festival does Lissa pipe up in agreement. The funny part is the fact that Lissa is already wearing a party hat.
The censors didn't miss it in the European version — there, the conversation is instead about her beautiful silky hair. It's still pretty funny, though.
In a conversation with Inigo and Owain, they're talking about how much more complicated the battles have become now that they're in the past and have to kill actual human beings. Once this dark topic is over though, and Owain goes back to his typical hammy self, Inigo says, with a big wide grin: "Now THERE'S the Owain I know and completely fail to understand!"
Which is eerily similar to a line that female Morgan says to him, with a huge, goofy smile on her face, in their A support after he manages to come out of a similar slump:
Morgan: Now THAT'S the Inigo we ladies know and occasionally manage to tolerate!
In a conversation with Cherche, Nowi proposes serving as Cherche's mount if Minerva falls ill. To encourage Cherche to give her a chance, she mentions how she already tried it once with the Avatar. The Avatar was apparently "so excited that he/she lost his/her lunch." Cherche mentions hearing about that trip and how the Avatar clung to Nowi so tightly that he/she had to have his/her fingers pried off of her.
Gregor runs into trouble when a particularly drunk woman proposes marriage to him. In order to dissuade her, he enlists Ricken's help...which results in Ricken being Dragged into Drag and forced to pretend to be Gregor's girlfriend.
Becomes even funnier due to Fridge Logic reasons if Gregor happens to be already married when you do this map.
And then later we find out that she wasn't drunk at all: the potion was a truth serum.
Vaike's scheme to get Lon'qu to open up more with other soldiers is to spread rumors and have him go out of his way to shut them up. Said rumor is heavily implied to be that Lon'qu is more attracted to men than women, hence the gynophobia.
It gets even better when some of the other soldiers compliment Lon'qu for being so "progressive," and Lon'qu yells at Vaike not to put his arm around his shoulders when they go to stop the rumors.
As with Gregor, all of the above is about 900 times funnier if Lon'qu is married by the time you play this map. Even more so if you've recruited his child as well.
Wanting to get into the spirit of the festival, Lucina convinces Tiki to dress up in her old clothes from Marth's era. However, neither of them took into account the fact that she is no longer child-size, leading to something that causes much embarrassment for Tiki and profuse apologies from Lucina.
The conversation between Inigo and Gerome starts out as relatively normal, until Inigo steals Gerome's mask. Note that the other two times you see Gerome's maskless portrait is S-Supports with either the female Avatar or Morgan. The conversation quickly shifts towards Inigo's Shrinking Violet tendencies in regard to his dancing and as it turns out, Minerva of all... Wyverns... is a fan of him. When he speaks rather lowly of himself, Minerva becomes angry and bites Inigo, which promts Gerome to patch Inigo up in the second half of the conversation. Inigo whines and squirms quite a lot, stating he's not used to being "manhandled like this". The voice acting makes it even better, to the point where Gerome even lampshades how it looks like:
Gerome: Hold still! You're making this harder than it has to be.
Inigo (blushing): I'm sorry! I'm just... not used to being manhandled like this... Please, Gerome, just promise me you'll be gentle!
Gerome: What the hell are you saying? Stop talking like that already!
Inigo: What? I just never expected you to have such a strong, firm touch...
Gerome: There! Words like that! You'll give everyone within earshot the wrong idea!
The entirety of the Roster Rescue map. It involves Risen having stolen a roster with nothing more than personal information on each of the characters. And almost every character, even the more stoic ones, fears the roster being lost for the silliest of reasons. For added effect, the translation crew finally let through one of the A-Cup Angst moments for Cordellia, for which they seemed pretty strict on before, making her fears come straight out of left field.
Even better, it's implied that the information comes from the character info in the Barracks, given how Chrom and Lissa complain about their "standout traits". ("Breaking things" and "Most likely to snort".) In fact, Roster Rescue is notable in how it's one of the only maps with a hilarious premise where Chrom is Not So Above It All, rather than acting as the Straight Man.
At the end, if the player managed to fulfill the conditions for recruiting Palla, the Avatar is apparently being hounded by everyone, curious to know what's written in it. Chrom's advice?
Chrom: You might want to keep a low profile. And I mean Kellam low.
The Summer Scramble DLC provides quite a few laughs:
Lon'qu wants Virion to use him as a living target, to help him fight in the sand. In order to convince Virion to do it, Lon'qu tells him the women around the beach are totally blown away by his beauty in the sun when he fires his bow.
Lon'qu's battle quote also counts. It's just two sets of ellipses before he curses, "Damn this heat!"
Priam is Crazy-Prepared for an intense battle, but he's left disappointed when he arrives at the beach.
Gaius, normally cool and collected, totally freaks out because his sweets are attracting bugs. He also gets into some Snark-to-Snark Combat with Lon'qu.
Lon'qu's love of bugs is really funny when you realize that in his B-Support with Lissa, she actually did see him trying to catch butterflies and it wasn't a figure of speech.
Tharja referring to her... a-hem "boingy bits" as her "uncanny valleys".
Miriel & Sumia's conversation. Miriel assumes that Sumia's clumsiness is all a ruse for the latter to attract men, and Sumia fervently denies her claims. But then when Miriel brings decisive evidence, the background music stops playing and Sumia starts laughing like a maniac and admits that she's truly making everything up to attract men to her. Since Miriel found out, Sumia tries to kill her off to stop the word from spreading.
Noire's inner demon demands a brigand to help her build a sandcastle.
Cordelia comments on Tharja's Stripperific outfit, who was, in her own words, blissfully unaware of it until Cordelia brought it up. Now that she knows how much skin she is showing, she finds it simply mortifying. The solution? A de-shaming talisman to her back of course. That said talisman only consists of a piece of paper with the word "mortification" written on it apparently doesn't matter. Cordelia has difficulty wrapping her head around it...
Cordelia: So if I were to take it off, would it stop working? Tharja: My, you're a sharp one. Cordelia: Interesting. Let's try it and see, shall we? Here goes... Tharja: W-wait, don't—! Oh, gods, this is horrifying. Just kill me now... Cordelia: I see. So now we stick it back on, and... Tharja: My, it sure is hot. Why don't I throw off my cloak and take a nice dip in the sea? Cordelia: And off again... Tharja: Ugh, my calf is showing! Why didn't I wear a bigger cloak? Cordelia: This is fascinating!
Henry becomes interested in Gaius' sweets, since in Plegia they didn't have many kinds of sweets or the like, due to poor harvests. He speaks highly of all of Gaius' hoard, and Gaius decides to show Henry his even bigger stash, which is full of even more exquisite candy. At one point while describing a sweet black bean candy, he starts blushing. Henry is amazed because the candy looks great even though it has beans in it. As thanks, Henry offers Gaius a Plegian sweet, a cake that is used as an offering to Grima. Gaius notes that it looks as if "it was baked in the fires of hell" and "reeked of sulfur and oozed a black, miasmic substance". Gaius passes it off as he says that he's not hungry right now, so Henry gives it to him to eat later-and he wants the details on how much Gaius liked it.
Gaius: Ack! Y-you want me to touch the cursed thing? ...With my bare hands? C-Could I maybe just...leave it here on the ground? While I, er...go do something? I'm sure it'll still be here when I come back!
Henry: Well, duh! Of course not! Then you'd get sand all over it, silly!
Gaius: O-oh...right. Ha ha... Wouldn't want to...*gag*...spoil it...
The first half of Cordelia and Maribelle's conversation is hilarious because it's the two of them having an incredibly childish argument about whose best friend is better. It's amazing because you can see how their children ended up being so similar despite the two of them seemingly having very different personalities.
Rage!Noire, ending one of her insane poetic ravings with "ALSO, I HAVE A QUESTION!" before asking Lucina why she never seems to notice when Noire goes into rage mode.
Lucina admires wooden souvenirs and tells Robin about one that resembles her father. She gets very desperate and goes to buy the replica, even cutting Risen in the way. And if Robin is Lucina's mother, then the figure is of her instead, making her perplexed reactions even better:
Lissa has learned to mimic Chrom's voice perfectly, which she demonstrates.
Brady and Gerome, of all people, flip through Anna's catalog together and admire all the wares.
We learn than Severa does indeed trump Cordelia in one thing. That one thing is something Cordelia is ashamed of.
Severa and Nah hatch a plan to stop a hypothetical Peeping Tom before suddenly feeling very silly about how worked up they've gotten over an enemy that may not even exist.
After the battle's over, Anna and the Avatar will get in a heated splash fight, repeatedly using battle quotes as actual lines of dialogue.
Gangrel and AversaVolleying Insults with each other. They decide to make a contest of it, capped off with Gangrel making a Your Mom joke.
Aversa: Shall we make it a contest, then?
Gangrel: Your mother was a contest.
Aversa's interaction with Tiki really milks out the former's Vain Sorceress for all its worth. At one point, Aversa even considers drinking Tiki's blood just so she can shave off a few years! Tiki herself fears Aversa might traumatize her for the rest of her immortal life.
Lucina's interactions with Noire and Nah. She completely fails to notice Noire's split personality and acts protective towards Nah/
Incredibly enough, the Future Past maps have funny moments despite the severe seriousness of the atmosphere.
Past Cynthia thinks the present Cynthia is a mirror and doesn't talk to her at all, running off in high spirits.
Past Cynthia and Sumia trip, one after another. Past Cynthia knows it's her.
Kjelle is practically checking herself out as she was in the past. She also doesn't talk to her past self only because she'll think it is her Evil Twin.
If Virion is her father, his flowery speech will convince her that it's him.
If Henry is Noire's father, he'll say this:
Henry: What? You don't believe your own flesh and blood?! Hmm, blood...
Owain squeeing at seeing his past self struggling against his foes and thinking about performing the "Dual Owain Blast" together.
Past Gerome asking why Minerva is looking away to a spot where there's no one. Oh wait, it's his father Kellam.
After Kellam and his son Brady are finished talking, Brady vanishes into thin air. Kellam is baffled.
Ricken has difficulty convincing his kids that he's their father.
If Henry is Owain's father, their entire conversation is absolutely hilarious. From Owain being overcome by a "horrible sense of foreboding" and then totally understanding why once Henry appears, to Owain refusing to believe that Henry isn't a ghost and Henry cheerfully going along with it, to Henry explaining all the ways he imagines himself dying but telling Owain that it's not okay for Owain to have a death wish and since Henry is his father he's allowed to be hypocritical like that... it's comedy gold. And then the kicker, when Henry leaves to fight Risen:
Owain: Don't worry. You got your ghostly point across just fine.
Henry: Really? Nya ha! Thanks, Owain! See ya around, then. *Whoosh* *ghost noises*
Maribelle and Brady:
Maribelle: Wh-what?! Where are you going? Stop running, young man!
Brady: Ow! Let go of my ear! What do you care if I haul it out of here? You're probably s-some enemy ruse!
Maribelle: I most certainly am not! If I were some artifice of the enemy, then you would already be dead. I or someone else would have struck you down the moment you hesitated.
Brady: Well...yeah, but...
Maribelle: But nothing! Stand up straight! Did I raise you to run for the hills at the sight of your own mother's face?
Brady: You didn't raise me, period! Ugh, I give up. So what do you want, Ma?
Maribelle: Brady, whatever has come over you? You usually cry after my lectures, not before them.
Unlike most the children, Inigo needs absolutely no convincing that Donnel is his father.
Donnel: That must be the Inigo of this world. That's my boy — look at him go! But I'll probably scare the tar out of him if I just march up and say hi... And that's if he even recognizes me... I reckon I look younger than he does!
Inigo: Father?! What are you doing here?
Donnel: Inigo?! How'd ya know I'm your pa?
Inigo: Uh, can anyone else fight that well with a pot on his head?
In the ending of Future Past 3 after the defeat of Grima, all the children have a reunion, everything goes well until everyone notices Gerome, who appears without his mask... nobody is able to recognise him.
Yarne's reaction is arguably the funniest, partly because he is the first to react, but mostly because he's practically a grown man at this point.
Yarne: Ack! STRANGER DANGER!
Also, Owain appears to have lost his Large Ham traits. And why? Because people are responding positively to such antics and treating his flights of fancy as totally plausible.
Owain:Now when I say, "My sword hand twitches," people don't look at me funny. They says, "Lord Owain will show the forces of evil what's what," or... "Don't mess with the blood of the exalt!" ...They actually say what I expect them to! I don't know how to cope!
'Chrom: Okay, okay! I got the idea! You all have names. That's... just grand.
Gangrel has little respect for the mighty Deadlords.
Gangrel: "Deadlords," was it? You lost me at "dead." Bwah ha ha ha! Where do you get off feigning power when you all met with some miserable defeat? To me, you're only good at one thing - and you're about to do it again!
Male!Morgan and Seliph in Lost Bloodlines 3. Morgan is not appreciative of Seliph's moral musings.
Morgan: Then keep your doubts to yourself! Sheesh.
Not individually funny, but when playing through Smash Brethren 3, Robin happened to be attacked first by Lilina, followed immediately by Roy. She has special dialogue with both of them, but it's very similar, so it gave the impression that Robin had thus far been trying to explain herself to everyone attacking her before eventually giving up in frustration.
Lilina: What do you hope to achieve here? Just let us go about our lives!
Robin: All I hope is to put this realm back to— Ugh, why bother? She won't listen. ...My purpose here is to defeat you. That's all you need to know!
(five seconds later)
Roy: Why do you trouble this land? You have your own realm!
Robin: Actually, I'm fairly certain it's you who— Ugh, what's the point? Only force will sort this mess out!
The Large Ham enemy voice. You know the one. The one that goes "Ha-HAH!" when he attacks, sounding somewhat like Gaston, and goes "It can't BE!" when he's killed.
Actually, the Falchion's invulnerability from the prologue is a bit of a funny moment when Fridge Logic kicks in. Chrom is the one most likely to break things... but the Falchion is unbreakable. Of course Chrom would be given the Falchion so "early"... because it's the only weapon he won't eventually find some way to break.
Also Chrom has no access to the Mercenary class meaning he has no way of obtaining the Skill Armsthrift which prevents weapon degradation based on your Luck.
This is extended into Lucina's experience-gaining event tile quote:
Lucina: I tried out some of Father's fighting techniques and managed to smash a large hole into a wall...Success?
Which isn't surprising, since a female Avatar is the only mother that can give her access to Armsthrift.
The fact that thief is one of Kellam's alternate classes. And he actually plays well in it.
Some of the reclassing options look plain silly, such as Tharja as a Mighty Glacier Knight or Chrom wearing a silly archer hat on the world map.
One also doubles as Fridge Brilliance, the DLC Bride class has whoever is a bride swaying back and forth and performing twirls and pirouettes. Except Lissa, who uses much cruder animations, even using the animations for an assassin if she's using a bow. Then you realize exactly why she complains about being un-princess like.
Kellam's roster trivia states that he is the tallest member of the army, sitting down. Since you can recruit units like Walhart and Basilio, this has some pretty hilarious implications in either direction.
Several attacked/killed voice clips are downright goofy. Special mention goes to Gaius for having one of the goofiest voice clips and several enemies can make you laugh hard from their over-the-top voicing. This doubles as Black Comedy if you've heard some of these voice clips in conversations before hearing them again in battle, especially Frederick's infamous "GEAAAAAUUUUGH!"
Some combinations of in-battle quotes can be hilarious. For example, This Troper had Brady and Gerome teamed up for one battle, and they were attacked by Sanaki in Smash Brethren 1. Brady could attack for one damage, and he activated astra, resulting in five consecutive attacks of 0 damage. At the end of his pathetic display, Gerome triggers a dual strike and just goes "Enough," and kills Sanaki in one hit.
And then there was the Pair Up of Ricken and Miriel; Ricken reduced an enemy down to 3 HP on his second hit, and would have been taken out by the opposing unit on the Enemy Phase due to his own low HP. However, Miriel — who had begun the battle saying "I'll take notes from here" — blasted the enemy with Elfire while sighing, "Oh, if I must."
The voice selections for unvoiced lines usually do a good job of setting the tone for a conversation. But sometimes, they come together in odd places or mixtures. On the one hand, we have Yarne shouting "No, You go extinct!" in a friendly conversation. On the opposite end, there's this conversation from chapter 2...
"Marth": You can call me Marth.
In the same vein, if Henry is Yarne's father in their B Support after Yarne gives a vague clue about his suspicions that Henry is cheating on Panne ("Thirteen yesterday, eight the day before. You know what I'm talking about?"), the voice clip used for Henry's reaction ("Um...the number of fatal curses I slung upon our foes?") is "Wanna die?"
Pair a long-range unit and a Knight/General, then attack an enemy two squares away. If a Dual Strike happens, it is absolutely hilarious watching the slow-moving Knight/General in heavy armor trudging across the field while the enemy just calmly stands there, waiting for their opponent to impale them with a spear. Especially funny if it's Kellam and he yells "SURPRISE!"
When Knights or Generals activate an offensive skill like Luna, their attack consists of a sliding headbutt to their opponent's ankles. This becomes doubly hilarious if the skill in question is Lethality. There is something quietly hilarious about watching an enemy suffer a One-Hit Kill, complete with dramatic red screen/black silhouette visual effect, all from a bunch of metal crashing into them at shin-height.
The Weapon Forging can be pretty funny, such as if you forge a powerful spear and give it a silly name like "Mr. Pointy" then have a serious warrior like Frederick obliterate the enemy lines with it. (The enemies will quail in fear of Mr. Pointy, and will tell tales of it's brutal slaughter in years to come)