A man who is wheelchair-bound and is looked after by his friend Lou. But he's not actually paralyzed at all, and secretly gets out of his chair whenever Lou's back is turned.
- Acrofatic: Despite being obese, he's capable of surprising acts of athleticism... when Lou isn't looking, of course.
- Ambiguous Disorder: He seems to have some type of developmental disability... or does he?
- Catchphrase: "I want that one", "Yeah, I know", and "I don't like it".
- Disability as an Excuse for Jerkassery: Subverted because he's faking it.
- Fat Bastard: He's overweight and a jerk.
- Informed Attribute: He's apparently very eloquent, describing his opinions in colorful detail, but onscreen he's always a Terse Talker.
- Jerkass: Pretends to be crippled so he can take advantage of Lou, and is a general ass.
- Lazy Bum: The main reason he pretends to need a wheelchair.
- Obfuscating Disability: So he can get away with being a lazy jobless bum.
- Oh, Crap!: One of the only times in the series where his expression changes is when he realizes his new carer won't put up with his behavior like Lou does.
- Psychopathic Manchild: He pushes Lou's replacement off a cliff without a second thought because she refuses to let him use his 'disability' as an excuse to be lazy.
A troubled teenage girl. Each sketch would involve her getting into trouble and trying to talk her way out of it. But she talks so fast that no-one can understand what she is saying. She also often goes off on tangents completely unrelated to the situation.
- Babysitter from Hell: She sent the child she was babysitting on an errand to get her cigarettes, whilst having a drunken party at the house. She still expected to be asked to babysit again by the boy's parents.
- Catchphrase: "Yeah, but, no, but, yeah, but, no, but you see what happened was that ...." and "Don't be giving me evils!"
- Motor Mouth: Really, it's a wonder the DVD subtitles can keep up with her.
- Teen Pregnancy: Has six kids by seven different men."But I never even had sex apart from that one time eight months ago, but apart from that I'm a complete virgin!"
- Insane Troll Logic: "Just because I have sex with someone doesn't mean I fancy them! I'm not a slag!"
A self-proclaimed gay Welsh man. He spends his days at the local pub bemoaning how victimized he is for being "the only gay in the village", despite the fact that his village actually has a rather large gay community.
- Attention Whore: Everything must be centered on his nonexistent predicament of being a gay man in a village where homosexuality is not tolerated. He once tried to get a police officer to arrest him, simply for being gay.
- Catchphrase: Aside from the above, his opening line in a sketch is usually "Bacardi and Coke please, Myfanwy."
- Faux Yay: Strongly implied to actually be heterosexual and just pretending to be gay for attention.
- Have I Mentioned I Am Gay?
- Selective Obliviousness: Everyone Is Gay in Llandewi Breffi, but he flat-out refuses to acknowledge this.
A woman who runs Fatfighters, a Weight Watchers-like group, but instead of helping her group, she just bullies her group for being fat, despite being overweight herself. She was based on the supervisor in a Weight Watchers group that Matt Lucas once attended, and had previously made a couple of appearances on ShootingStars as the mother of scorekeeper George Dawes.
- The Bully: Bullies her own clients like a schoolyard bully.
- Big Eater: If her shopping cart is any indication.
- Catchphrase: "Hello, fatties!", "'Ave we got any neeeew members?", "Screeeeeeeeeew YOU!" among several others.
- Fantastic Racism: She pretends not to understand what the Indian member is saying, despite her not only speaking perfect english but even better than Majorite.
- Hate Sink: A prejudiced bully who fat shames her clients and has no redeeming qualities.
- Hypocrite: She's certainly no slouch herself when it comes to being overweight.
- It's All About Me
- Jerkass: Bullies her clients instead of helping them despite being overweight herself and is a racist.
Bubbles is a morbidly obese lady who owes massive amounts of money to the bank, due to her lavish spending habits. She also thinks she can get out of her various troubles by seducing people.
- Catchphrase: "Call me Bubbles, darling, everybody does!" "Champagne, champagne for everyone!"
- Fan Disservice
- Full-Frontal Assault
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Desiree.
A stage hypnotist who typically uses his powers for his own benefit, from getting a woman to go on a date with him, to beating his elderly mother at a game of Scrabble.
- Catchphrase: "Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, not around the eyes, look into my eyes. (snaps fingers) You're under. (Explains what he wants the person to do) 3,2,1............ (snaps fingers), you're back in the room."
- Jerkass: Uses hypnosis to cheat against his own mother and make a woman go on a date with him.
- Mundane Utility: His hypnosis.
- Rule of Funny: Whether his hypnosis works or not.
- Catchphrase: "Margaret! Margaret! There's a gentleman who wants to know if we (explains the thing Mr. Mann wants)."
- Satellite Character: She's Maggie's best friend who appears in all her sketches. Her role is to give Maggie something made by a minority, let her eat it, and than foolishly tell her who made it, causing Maggie too vomit onto everyone nearby.
- Captain Oblivious: Throughout the entire series, he never learns that Andy is faking his disability.
- Catchphrase: "But I thought you said you love/hate (insert topic). You always said that (explains why Andy loves or hates that thing in the most detailed way.)", "Because once I (explain the thing Andy wants him to do and says he can't undo it)and that'll be a right kerfuffle." and "What a kerfuffle."
- He seems to be fond of the word "kerfuffle" in general.
- Nice Guy: He is almost inhumanly patient with Andy and his constant demands.
- Extreme Doormat: He lets Andy walk all over him.
- Speech Impediment: A lisp.
The Prime Minister's gay aide who has a huge crush on him.
- Big "WHAT?!": On a regular basis.
- Camp Gay
- Catchphrase: "Whatever!"
- Ignored Enamored Underling
- Jerkass: He's nice to the Prime Minister but rude to everyone else.
Eddie "Emily" Howard
A very unconvincing transvestite with outdated views on how women typically dress and behave. He's always seen wearing lacy, frilly Victorian-era dresses, and talks in a high-pitched falsetto voice about doing "ladylike" things.
- Catchphrase: "I'm a lady!"
- Small Name, Big Ego: He thinks he's great at pretending to be a woman, but he's not.
- Boomerang Bigot: Her prejudiced beliefs include all LGBT members, yet she herself is a lesbian. She actually throws up when she realizes this.
- Catchphrase: "Who made this?"
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Strongly resembles Margaret Thatcher, combined with some serious racial issues.
- Racist Grandma: She's an elderly woman of obscenely prejudiced inclinations. To the point she throws up upon being told she's eaten something that was prepared by any kind of minority, be they non white, invalid, LGBT, homeless, or even overweight.
- Vomit Indiscretion Shot: The core of her sketches is the repulsively over the top vomiting she undergoes upon being told she ate something that was cooked (or even handled) by someone who isn't white.
- Catchphrase: "Eh- eh- eh!"
- Obfuscating Insanity
- Unusually Uninteresting Sight: "She's" clearly a man in a nightdress, and whenever "her" cell phone goes off Anne drops the charade and speaks perfectly normally to whoever's on the other end. Nobody else in the vicinity has ever commented on this.
- Catchphrase: "Computer Says No." Followed by a cough in the customers' faces.
- Obstructive Bureaucrat
An actor who is incredibly tiny. He thinks that the people who want him to be in their shows want him to write and sing the theme tunes as well as star in them.
- Actor Allusion: The real Dennis Waterman, who this skit is taking the piss out of, actually did sing a show's theme tune, two in fact.
- Catchphrase: "So they want me to star in it, write the feme toon, sing the feme toon."
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: David Williams pondered during Little Britain Live that the real Dennis might "kick the shit out of us" for the portrayal.
- Your Size May Vary: Part of the joke is that just how small he is tends to fluctuate wildly over the duration of the sketch.
- Catchphrase: "Hello, Martin, it's Linda. How can I describe him/ her? (explains the person in initially neutral, then increasingly rude, detail), that's right. The (calls the student a name)"
- Evil Sounds Raspy
A weird Scottish hotel manager
A customer who asks for impossible things.
- Catchphrase: "Hello. I would like a (asks for an impossible thing.)" "That's alright. I'll wait."
- Creepy Monotone
- Troll: He doesn't actually want what he's asking for, he just wants to annoy Roy. The one time he did get exactly what he asked for he left clearly disappointed.
An old lady who urinates herself without knowing.
Bubbles' arch nemesis.
The Prime Minister
The PM who has no idea Sebastian has a crush on him.
The barmaid in the village of Llandewi Breffi, and Daffyd's best friend.
Bubbles' ex-husband who is married to Desiree. He has a thing for fat women.
- Chubby Chaser: The sole reason he divorced Bubbles was that she lost weight.
Roy's wife, and his assistant at the shop. She is never seen on camera, only heard shouting from upstairs.
- The Voice
- Catchphrase: Yes?
- An Arm and a Leg: Turns out she's a quadriplegic. Roy forgot, apparently.
A college department head and Linda's boss.