Deadpan Snarker / Video Games

Kazooie copes with the loss of her mentor.

Pearl: Ugh... When are we going to land another big music-festival gig?
Marina: Maybe when you stop demanding more money!

— Splatoon 2

Deadpan Snarkers in Video Games.

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• Trilby in 5 Days a Stranger definitely feels snarky... and can you blame him?
• Ace Attorney:
  • The title character of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney is commonly the sole voice of reason in his world of spirit mediums, crazy dominatrix prosecutors, and wacky courtroom hijinks (despite being the cause of half of them). This even continues after he is no longer a lawyer in Apollo Justice; if anything becoming even more snarky as he becomes a bit of a Chess Master.
  • At one point in the third game, you get to play as Miles Edgeworth. He's much more of a snarker than Phoenix. In Investigations, where you play as Edgeworth the whole time, he proves to be quite possibly the snarkiest and certainly the most deadpan protagonist in the series.
  • Apollo Justice gets in on the act too. "I'm a lawyer. I live for needless procedures."
    Apollo: (...Ack! I've run out of snide comments!)
  • His mentor, Kristoph Gavin, resorts to this when Phoenix starts cornering him.
    Phoenix: I can't say I know what happened to the card. I did put it in the bottle however.
    Kristoph: Perhaps a fifth person came and took it out? Oh, and a sixth person could've helped!
  • Simon Blackquill from Dual Destinies usually combines this with trolling.
    Judge: (to director Cosmos) S-so does that mean you're a-a-a-a gh-ghost?!
    Blackquill: ... I was wondering when you would realize it, Your Baldness. Director Cosmos is an authentic, bona fide ghost. He can even pass through walls.
• Ace Combat 7: Skies Unknown
  • AWACS Bandog is the forward air control unit for the Spare Squadron of the 444 Penal Unit. At worse, he regularly insults the squadron during missions, and snarks at them at best. Like how he was willing to take up High Rollers's bets, and asked the Spare Squadron to laugh at one of their members' jokes about how some of them were killed during a mission.
  • Dr. Shroeder, the scientist whose job is improving Erusea's drone program. In one cutscene, he rats off Mihaly's Overly Long Name like there's nothing special about it, and in a later mission, when his drones start firing on Trigger and his fellow pilots after driving off aircraft from attacking his plane, and Count calls whoever created said drones the 'King of all Dumbasses', Schroeder responds that "Maybe he meant to build something else entirely".
• Given what few comments Mike Thorton from Alpha Protocol delivers without you having to pick his responses, he would appear to default to snarkiness when he's not deliberately acting otherwise. Play a suave Thorton and practically every line he delivers will be snark.
• Saki Tsuzura from the all-female fighting game Arcana Heart has some win quotes that have her flatly criticizing an opponent's skill and/or mindset.
• Shaun from Assassin's Creed. Very rarely does he say anything (history nerd rants exempt) that isn't sarcastic and dickish. He also delivers the funniest moments in Brotherhood, and has a fair share of humor in AC II. Even his database entries, in every game they appear, are filed with sarcastic notes. It's always worth a read.
  • "We're assassins. We assassinate people. Should I look it up for you?"
  • Assassin's Creed has Malik, who spends the better part of the game giving Altaïr nothing but snark.
  • Assassin's Creed III has Haytham Kenway, Ziio and later Connor, who are all pretty snarky. Connor's snark especially comes as a surprise, because he is normally so quiet.
  • Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag has Edward as a more... vulgar example.
    Templar: What's your name?
    Edward: Captain Piss-Off.
• (Pictured) Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie, due to both plain snarkyness and being fairly Genre Savvy. Apparently this was supposed to be reduced in Nuts & Bolts. Oops.
  • According to the first game's manual, Red Crested Breegulls are pretty much all Deadpan Snarkers, though the only one of those we ever see is Kazooie.
• Both The Bard and the unnamed narrator (as voiced by the late Tony Jay), in the 2004 version of The Bard's Tale. They trade barbs to each other about the ridiculous things that happen in the game. In fact, "snarky" is a actual in game option to chose when engaging in dialogue.
  Narrator: And then the Bard looted the chest, which contained the widow's most precious... Wait a minute. Did I read that properly? You're stealing from her?
  The Bard: I wouldn't call it stealing, exactly. I mean, people leave all kinds of things in chests, and they never seem to object when I help myself. Think of it as a public service. I mean, who knows how cluttered these chests might become if I didn't do my part to help clean 'em out?
  Narrator: In hindsight, I'm surprised it took the Bard this long to get his hands on Mary's chest.
• Guillo from Baten Kaitos. Its hilarious sarcasm alone could make Origins worth playing.
  Guillo: Who throws barrels at people? What are you, some monkey who's run off with a pretty wench?
• Bayonetta is pretty much a World of Snark, but the titular character, Bayonetta, usually tops herself. She faces the likes of angels, demons, and even gods and she will usually meet them head on with good dose of snark and innuendo. However, when she drops the snark, that's when you know things are about to get very messy.
• The role-playing rhythm-game Before the Echo (formerly Sequence) has the two main characters, Ky and Naia, as well as anyone else they can drag in to their snarkier conversations (notably the fourth and fifth floor bosses). Outside of the very serious portions, the game is effectively made up of nothing but snark and puns. Even the tutorial video on Steam is filled with snark, for instance only mentioning HP briefly and stating that if you can't figure out that you need to keep it above zero, they can't help you.
• Best of Three: Helen is not happy to be seeing Grant again, describing him as the bane of her existence. She often takes the opportunity to snark at him when he says something foolish.
  Grant: I tried to find you in the phone book, but I couldn't figure out how to spell your last name. I think I read the whole S section twice.
  Helen: Considering that it starts with T, that's not surprising.
• BlazBlue has two resident snarkers: Jin Kisaragi and Rachel Alucard.
  • For Jin:
    Bang talking to an injured Jin in Ronin-Gai
    Bang: Yes, it is true that you have brought terrible misery upon the people of Ikaruga. My hatred for you will never be enough. However, a true warrior of Ikaruga would never leave an injured man to die. You may be our sworn enemy, but for now, you are unsworn.
    Jin: Are you telling me to stay here and heal my wounds or something?
    Bang: Indeed I am.
    Jin: No wonder you lost. There is but one goal in war and that is victory. Also, if your opponent outclasses you, then striking before he can retaliate is an absolute must. Your idiocy is truly astounding.
    Bang: Well, as you have said... many times... I am an idiot.
  • And:
    Jin and Makoto walking together
    Makoto: Oh, look at them go! It's so peaceful here.
    Jin: "Noisy" would be much more accurate.
    Makoto: Do you always have to be so cynical?
  • And Rachel has these gems:
    Why, hello, Ragna. As ever, your face reminds me of nature's cruel sense of humor.
    I thought perhaps death would humble you somewhat, but now I see that was a foolish hope.
    Very well then. If you insist. We will have three orders of this... puffed fish. Do try and make at least one of them edible.
    If you really cherish that doll of yours, perhaps you should only play with her at home. It would be such a terrible shame if something bad were to happen to her...
  • The main "protagonist" Ragna The Bloodedge is just as snarky as both his brother Jin and Rachel. Especially towards Rachel.
• Body Blows: From this largely now forgotten fighting game series made for the Amiga series of computers and consoles by Team17 is Mike. He is a Wall Street who is among a roster of fighters including street fighters, martial artists, robots, and aliens (and still manages to fight on equal footing thanks to his inexplicable wind powers) who frequently gives out sarcastic apologies during battles. It was (and to some extent today still is) part of the reason why he is Ensemble Dark Horse by the series' fan base.
• An interesting case in Bomberman 64 The Second Attack where Bomberman himself, despite being portrayed as a Heroic Mime in the game, is revealed to actually be a deadpan snarker after getting the good ending which goes back and shows what the White Bomber was saying in most of game's cutscenes. Most of which are snarky comebacks directed at his comic relief partner, Pommy.
• Jimmy from Bully.
  Mrs. Hopkins: Jimmy, please say something.
  Rich Guy: James...
  Jimmy: What? Who're you? Mom, I thought you told me never to talk to strangers.
  Mrs. Hopkins: Like I said before, Jimmy, please be nice to your new stepfather.
  Jimmy: OK, Rich Guy, I love it that you're twice as old as my grandfather and you're fat and bald.
  Mrs. Hopkins: That's enough! I've had it with you, you little brat!
  Rich Guy: You've upset your mother! I've got half a mind to beat you!
  Jimmy: Half a mind is right. Suddenly, he realizes!
  Mrs. Hopkins: I can't believe you, you little monster! We'll deal with you when we get back from our honeymoon, next year.
  Rich Guy: Here we are, boy. Bullworth Academy. Have fun, Jimmy. I'll think of you from our cruise ship. [Mrs. Hopkins laughs]
  Jimmy: Whatever.
  • Gary as well:
    "Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce Femboy! The girliest boy in our school. Say Petey, don't you have some imaginary friends to annoy?"
    "Don't worry, Jimmy, it's only something I came up with. It's "sink or swim", my friend. And if you're good at swimming, you gotta let the losers drown."
    "Ecstatic! I love watching two morons beat the crap out of each other!"
    "Let me see — uhh, it's Halloween. All the prefects are at some party and the teachers are 'entertaining' — I use the word loosely — the kids. No, I'd say the opportunities for fun are pretty much nil."
• Storm, the protagonist from Commando: Steel Disaster, have moments like these during his cutscenes - when his Mission Control Jessica informs him of good news, Storm's question have him asking if it's his application for a salary raise, causing Jessica to respond that the news is actually them uncovering the terrorist heaquarters.
  Storm: Well, I guess that can also be considered good news...
• Carol's comments from the Carol Reed Mysteries really reflect her dry humour.
• Clarence's Big Chance: Some of the signposts act like this. Also it's one of Pseudolonewolf's games, so this is pretty much a given.
• Clive Barker's Undying: Ambrose Covenant, of all people.
  Father always said "self-reflection is the key to enlightenment." Allow me to reflect on this day. How could I have saved my father from a slow, painful death? I could have hit him harder.
• Captain Nick "Havoc" Parker in Command & Conquer: Renegade. (That's right—not any one instance, the whole game.)
• Some units in the Wehrmacht and Panzer Elite factions of Company of Heroes can be sarcastic, like the crews of the Ostwind and Pak 38.
  Pak 38 Crew: (after being ordered to camouflage) Sure we'll hide this...giant gun.
  • And:
    Panzer Grenadier: I ordered this rain especially for you Deihnhard...
  • And of course:
    Ostwind Tank Commander: Rain.....open-top tank.....fucking great engineering...
• Surprisingly, Darksiders II has its own snarker in the form of Death, the leader of the Horseman. Despite his ominous appearance and penchant for visceral attacks, he has no shortage of sarcastic remarks.
• Dawn of War has:
  • Eliphas the Inheritor, especially with the Orks:
    Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter: 'Ere I come, Chaos Boyz.
    Eliphas the Inheritor: Your subtlety astounds me, Ork.
  • Gorgutz himself also has his moments, being much smarter than the average Ork, but just as completely nuts.
    Macabee: Death has come for you.
    Gorgutz: Deff? You looks like a 'oomie dats needs some feedin', metal boy.
• Ayane of Dead or Alive and Ninja Gaiden fame often dips into this, typically in her DOA win quotes. One such gem is:
  Ayane: "Y'know, you're supposed to watch your opponent when you fight."
• Frank West in Dead Rising 2: Off the Record, oh so very much.
  • Before Frank, Chuck Greene. Where Frank, in the original Dead Rising, was freaking out over the newly occurring Zombie Apocalypse, Chuck, who had dealt with Zombies for some years by the time he comes into play, gives the apocalypse a snarky one-liner and a Clint Eastwood-esque glare.
• Crypto in Destroy All Humans!.
• Agent Brown of the Detectives United is this, much more than either of his partners. His dossier in the fifth game actually calls attention to it, noting that "sarcastic" is one of his most prominent personality traits.
• Player Character JC Denton from Deus Ex has a lot of snarky remarks here and there, and is not afraid to snark right in the main villains' faces.
  JC Denton: A bomb's a bad choice for close-range combat.
  
  JC Denton: You mechs may have copper wiring to reroute your fear of pain, but I've got nerves of steel.
  
  Walton Simons: You take another step forward and here I am again, like your own reflection in a hall of mirrors.
  JC Denton: That makes me one ugly son of a bitch. How'd my face get all marked up with bioelectrics?
  
  Bob Page: You're too late! Already I am more than human...
  JC Denton: Does that mean I don't get the job?
  • Alex in Invisible War can get it from his/her brother.
  • Depending on dialogue options, Adam Jensen from Human Revolution can be quite snarky.
    Pritchard: Jensen!
    Jensen: How can I help you, Francis?
    Pritchard: You know why I'm contacting you.
    Jensen: The transmission that's making a mockery of your security efforts?
    • After being told that augs could be used in the classroom, and then witnessing a military aug blow up a bunch of test dummies:
      Jensen: You're right, a teacher would just love to have one of those things.
    • This:
      O'Malley: "Were you followed?"
      Jensen: "Yeah. By a midget and a clown for a while, lucky they met the bearded woman they were looking for at a diner and we went our seprate ways."
  • Later on If you chose not to install the new chip at the LIMB clinic we get this before the fight with Namir.
    Jensen: Let me guess, that was supposed to shut me down right?
• Disgaea games are guaranteed to have at least one per game. It seems to be practically hard coded into demon's genes in fact.
• The protagonists you can choose, in Divinity: Original Sin II, tend strongly towards the snarky. For example, this early exchange:
  Sebille: I could tell you about swamp dreamers too, if I chewed that much drudanae.
  The Red Prince: Oh, do hold your prickly tongue.
• Though Lucky of Doodle Champion Island Games is rather friendly, she has a sharp tongue that she occasionally breaks out, usually in response to some of the weirder locals. For example, when she retrieves a local's lucky arrow she snarks to herself about how it looks like every other arrow.
• In Double Homework, Tamara is blunt and direct, and throws snark around whenever she sees or hears bullshit.
• Dragon Age:
  • Almost all of your party members in Dragon Age: Origins have a hint of this, particularly Alistair, Morrigan and Sten. Alistair is extra snarky, while Sten is extra deadpan.
    (Sten, when the party walks into a library) "The southern people read? I thought that was a myth."
    (in combat) "Grey Warden, Darkspawn. Darkspawn, Grey Warden."
    (upon selecting Morrigan) "Oh, it's you again."
  • Alastair Lampshades it:
    I'm here to deliver bad news and witty one-liners.
  • The main playable character also has potential for this. Depending on how you respond to what people say.
    Myaja: May the stone honor you.....
    Lucjan: ...When you fall.
    Warden: Sure, and may the dirt taste good when I feed it to you.
  • One of the changes made for Dragon Age II was the addition of little icons indicating the tone of the main character's response. Not only does this allow Hawke to snark his/her way through the entire game, it also alters Hawke's automatic lines (combat chatter, random quips during banter and so on) to conform with the player-chosen personality.
    Hawke: Looks like they took him to some bolthole on the Wounded Coast. I wonder if that's near the Injured Cliffs? Or the Limping Hills. The Massive Head-Trauma Bay? (beat) No one? Just me? Forget I said anything.
  • Out of the party members for the game, Varric sticks out as the best snarker, though nearly everyone gets a few shots, even Merrill!
    • Having Varric, Isabela, and Aveline in your party very nearly creates a World of Snark, especially since the three of them will snark at each other. Having a Hawke whose default responses are sarcastic completes Team Sarcasm. You may switch out any of the above mentioned for Fenris, who gets in a few very good ones as well later. Varric is even impressed.
  • Dorian Pavus and Varric (again) are the best, but certainly not only, examples from Dragon Age: Inquisition
    Inquisitor: There's an altar.
    Dorian: "And everything was perfectly serene, until they disturbed the ancient altar."
• Ling Tong's debut in Dynasty Warriors portrayed him as a deadpan snarker, primarily to Gan Ning. Averted in the spin-off/crossover Warriors Orochi, where he's just an ass.
• The Elder Scrolls
  • Throughout the series, this is a common trait of the Breton race. They tend to be highly skeptical to the point of being Jerkasses, but can warm up to become more of a Jerk with a Heart of Gold. Likewise, members of the Khajiit race have a propensity for being these.
  • Dremora, an intelligent race of lesser Daedra Evil Is Hammy Blood Knights, typically look down on mortals and consider themselves to be the Master Race of the ES universe. Dremora who become chummy with mortals (whether via forced servitude or voluntarily because the mortal has proven worthy) tend to speak like this in their dealings with said mortals.
  • M'aiq the Liar is a recurring Easter Egg Legacy Character. M'aiq is a known a Fourth-Wall Observer (and Leaner and Breaker) who voices the opinions of the series' creators and developers, largely in the form of Take Thats, to both the audience (given the ES Unpleasable Fanbase) and isn't above taking some at Bethesda itself. Virtually all of this is delivered with deadpan sarcasm.
  • In Morrowind, the Player Character will will make some pithy Journal comments on occasion. Perhaps the best example is if you are a member of Great House Telvanni and are on the quest to be named Telvanni Hortator. As House Telvanni actively practices Klingon Promotion and believes in Might Makes Right, you can simply kill all of the other Councilors rather than grovel for their votes. The Journal entry for completion of the quest dryly puts it: "As the sole surviving councilor of House Telvanni, I have declared myself Hortator of House Telvanni."
    • Enforced in the in-game book The Horror of Castle Xyr, a play in which one character makes a particularly snarky comment; the playwright adds a note that the line should be spoken as deadpan as possible, as it's guaranteed to cause a laugh:
      Anara: Please, serjo, go wherever you want. We got nothing to hide. We're loyal Imperial subjects.
      Clavides: As, I hear, are all Telvanni.
      (Note from the playwright: this line should be delivered without sarcasm. Trust the audience to laugh — it never fails, regardless of the politics of the locals.)
  • Oblivion: Haskill from in the Shivering Isles expansion. He's never not snarking at you. He's the same way in The Elder Scrolls Online
  • Skyrim
    • Lydia, who is very much a Servile Snarker as well. Though as of the Hearthfire DLC, her dialogue goes from snarky to warm, depending on how often you have her around, and how well you treat her.
    • Serana from the Dawnguard expansion. Half of her comments are about how awful the weather is (in a very sarcastic way), and the other half, which typically relies on you being next to some place, or someone important, are fittingly rips on said location/person. Doubly so if it's a cave.
    • The Dragonborn expansion adds the Dremora merchant. When summoned, he doesn't try to hide his contempt for mortals but will still act with some respect to the player.
    • The hireling Teldryn Sero, also from Dragonborn, is made of this trope. Nearly everything that comes out of his mouth is something dryly disdainful or pessimistic about wherever you’re currently poking around. He’s even contemptuous of the College of Winterhold, calling it “amazing” in sarcastic tones.
    • The Interesting NPCs Game Mod brings Zora Fair-Child, who takes this trope and runs with it. Then throws it out the window. Then smashes it to pieces with a two-handed hammer, grinds it to dust, and throws it down the drain. Seriously, the mod is worth trying simply to go on adventuring with her.
  • This is a trait of Cyrus the Restless, hero of the Action-Adventure spin-off game Redguard. Every other word that comes out of his mouth is positively overflowing with snark.
  • The Daedric Prince of Madness, Sheogorath, veers into and out of this, as part of his manic gimmick. He's always cracking some sort of wise, but often it's in a wildly animated way that only occasionally ends poorly, or at least weirdly, for everyone within earshot. Once in a while, however, his madness swings into "strangely sane," he'll calmly make some snarky or witty comment, and by that time it's usually too late to run.
• The ability to select dialogue options allows you to be this in Fallout 3. In fact, one of a set of optional quest rewards depends on your willingness to respond snidely to a variety of questions.
  "Too... tired... to be... snide."
  • Interesting, in that this particular quest has multiple rewards depending on success and your responses. The snide response line rewards one of the two generally considered best options.
  • Fallout: New Vegas has more than its fair share of snarkers, as well.
    The Courier: Caesar wants me to destroy this place.
    Mr. House: Was that supposed to come as a shocking revelation?
• Fallout 4 continues the tradition. The main character can be very much a Stepford Snarker in reaction to seeing the world they grew up turned to a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and many of the player's companions engage in this as well. Deacon, Nick Valentine and Piper are clear standouts, but every companion except Dogmeat will find something worth snarking about eventually.
• Far Cry:
  • Jack Carver from the first game is pretty snarky, compared to his more serious allies Valerie Constantine and Harland Doyle.
  • Andre Hyppolite, the only black Player Character in Far Cry 2, is a lot snarkier than the other mercenaries.
  • Jason Brody of Far Cry 3, largely as a coping mechanism for dealing with life on the Rook Islands.
    Citra: Do they teach you to speak without permission in America?
    Jason: No, I learned that in France.
    • Bambi "KnifeNut Buck" Hughes often makes some dry comments on Jason's progress throughout the game, being a stereotypical crass Australian.
      Jason: How do you keep finding me?!
      Buck: Well, you are leaving a trail of human breadcrumbs, mate. Helen-fuckin'-Keller could have followed you!
    • By far the snarkiest character in 3 is Agent Willis Huntley. Every entry in the Survival Handbook is written by him, so you get to hear his jingoistic, far-out opinions on anything he can think of.
      Willis: (on the subject of hang-gliding) Hang gliders are for people who look at airplanes and think, "What's the point of that engine?" Or for people who scream as they're sucked into an engine, "Why did I go hang-gliding?!"
  • Pagan Min of Far Cry 4 has his sarcastic moments, like when he's lambasting his guards for not confiscating a phone from one of his captives.
    Pagan: Really, guys? We're not checking for these anymore?
  • Jacob Seed from Far Cry 5. He mocks the player a few times, without raising his dry, monotone voice. The third time they meet, instead of playing a song with a Trigger Phrase down the phone to the Deputy, he sings it instead, so that the Deputy goes kill-mad.
  • Sergeant Rex "Power" Colt from Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon always has a Bond One-Liner for whenever he kills someone, appropriately for a character based on an 80's action star.
    Rex: (after shooting someone with a high-powered gun) He said "blow me"... so I did.
  • Takkar and Jayma from Far Cry Primal trade quips with one another about their scars- or absence thereof.
    Jayma: (points to scars on her cheek) Direwolf. (points to scars on her arm) Great Bear. (inspects Takkar's hand) You have skin of a baby.
    Takkar: And your legs are too slow for fast beasts.
• Since the game is about people with horrible backstories and their efforts to get past them, most of the cast of Fate/stay night are snarkers to a degree. Even the Token Mini-Moe gets in plenty of burns in whenever she's not acting cute. Even Shirou is an acute smartass and observer while narrating; he's just too polite to let the snark out most of the time. The best example, however, is Archer, who despite being Shirou from the future, is much less polite, and spends most of his time making fun of his allies, his enemies, and his Rin. Rin herself enjoys messing with people politely, but her favourite target is Shirou, since she can be as rude as she likes and Shirou is a funny masochist who likes arguing with her. The only main characters who don't snark are Taiga, Saber and Sakura; but if you can get past the reserve and self-loathing respectively, you'll see that Sakura snarks with the best of them like her sister Rin, and Saber's chivalrous politeness hides a sharp tongue which is revealed mainly due to Shirou's disregard for practicality.
• The commentators in FIFA Soccer Sports Game tend to be this from time to time.
  *an attacker sent a relatively tame shot to goal which the goalkeeper easily saved*
  Commentator: Thank you very much, says the goalkeeper.
• Final Fantasy:
  • Sage Guido in Final Fantasy V, mostly towards Bartz.
    Bartz: The twelve legendary weapons?
    Guido: They are weapons. They are legendary. There are even twelve of them.
  • Final Fantasy VIII has Laguna Loire's Those Two Guys best friends, Kiros and Ward. Given that Laguna is a front-to-end Idiot Hero, their moments are very common.
  • Final Fantasy X:
    • Lulu is so deadpan, they created Paine for Final Fantasy X-2 because if they'd gone with their plan A of using Lulu, most of the banter would be shut down brutally early.
    • Auron, so much.
      Auron: (seeing Evrae, the guardian wyrm of Bevelle) The red carpet has teeth.
      Auron: Once Lady Yuna fixes her hair, we leave.
      Auron: That Kinoc, a Maester?
  • Final Fantasy XII: Balthier has this in spades.
    Ashe: trying to warn the part about the dangers inside the Tomb of Raithwall Only his descendants are suffered within. If we enter without proof of such lineage-
    Balthier: There's no guarantee we'll make it out alive. Vicious beasts. Fiendish traps. Something like that?
    Ashe: (nodding) Mhhm. But you must consider the prize. The Dawn Shard lies within. And Raithwalls treasure.
    Balthier: And there was I thinking this was going to be hard.
  • Wol in Mobius Final Fantasy spends most of his time reacting to his fantastical world of magical creatures with the relentless, resigned sarcasm of a teenage boy at a boring theme park. He even effortlessly outsnarks Cloud in his cameo, mocking his attitude problems.
  • Noctis in Final Fantasy XV is known for his sarcastic sense of humor. Such as this exchange here:
    Prompto: Hey Ignis, how's it feel being away from the wheel?
    Ignis: Positively frightening.
    Noctis: What are you saying...?
    Ignis: That I'm no stranger to His Highness's driving habits.
    Noctis: 'Preciate the confidence.
• Given the fact that the series has a large cast, Fire Emblem naturally has quite a few of these.
  • Ranulf from Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn is probably one of the best examples, though Ike himself is pretty good at it when Ranulf's not around; and it only sharpens with experience (or even when he is, in which sometimes their snark can be seen both in tandem and directed at eachother). If a character says something stupid, cliche, or overly hammy, or even if they don't, especially an enemy, expect either to have some kind of fitting, scathing barb on standby to throw back in their face. The results are some of the most priceless lines in the games.
    (fighting The Black Knight)
    Ike: It's his armor. It's impervious to damage.
    Ranulf: Great, then how are we going to hurt him? Angry looks?

    Ranulf: Ike..you're..
    Ike: ...Yes..?
    Ranulf: Dumb.
    Ike: WHAT!?!

    (on a ship, talking to Volke, who refuses to eat with the rest of the company)
    Ike: All right, listen. Land? Big. Ship? Small. It's not the same thing!
  • Izuka has his moments, such as when he informs Pelleas that Almedha is not his mother.
  Izuka: Ah yes, Lady Almedha, paragon of sanity! She is certainly fit to identify a boy she hasn’t seen in fifteen years.
  • Soren quite possibly tops the above two; he's always bursting everyone's collective bubble. If your name isn't Ike, you aren't safe.
  • Tellius in general seems to be a gold mine of snark when it comes to main characters, especially in the English version; in fact, the only main characters in the heroic cast who aren't particularly snarky are probably Elincia, Mist, and Sothe. Let it not be forgotten how Micaiah once said, in retort to Sothe's Hero Worship of Ike, "Ike, "hero" of the Mad King's War, leader of the Greil Mercenaries, and father of Sothe's children..."
  • Raven and Legault from the seventh game are also decent examples of snarkers, though Raven a bit more so. Hector's brother, Uther, also is also shown to be quite snarky when he appears, usually at Hector's expense.
  • Chrom. Hoo, boy... If anything outlandish happens, he will be among the first to lampshade it. This isn't so apparent in the main story, but in the DLC, he's the resident Deadpan Snarker, especially to Old Hubba.
    Old Hubba: You may have to fight the same soldiers more than once to truly defeat them. The Einherjar can come back to life, you see. They're stubborn that way...
    Chrom: Let me guess: It's something to do with the unique time-continuum thing...?
    Old Hubba: Why, yes! How did you know!? Do you have the gift of foresight, as well!? Perhaps you have also prognosticated what we must do to stop them? Defeat them repeatedly to weaken them, and I can seal them back into their cards!
    Chrom: Oh, sure! Best the greatest soldiers in history over and over again? No problem!
    Old Hubba: That's the spirit!
  • Awakening also has Frederick, Tharja, Gaius, Cherche, Miriel, Lon'qu, Basillo, Priam (especially appropriate considering he's supposedly Ike's descendant) Kjelle, Severa, Robin/The Avatar... Even Lucina gets in on it on occasion.
  • While not necessarily enough to make them this trope, it's common for a Lord to say something snarky at least once in their game. Especially if things start to get stupid.
  • And then from Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia, we have Boey:
    Mae: Wow, he gets a lot less moody when the mask comes off, huh?
    Boey: Almost as if he pretends to be someone else while in disguise. ...Imagine that.
  • Also from Shadows Of Valentia/Gaiden, while not to the extent of Ike, Alm is another Lord who makes snarky comments every so often:
    Alm: It's alright. The peasant—whose name is Alm—will get over it.
  • Fire Emblem Fates has Setsuna. After winning a fight, Setsuna will normally make a snarky one-liner.
    Oh. It's dead.
    Victory! Victory!
    • But it's her introduction in Birthright that takes the cake.
    Azama: Setsuna? Are you getting shorter?
    Setsuna: Oh. I appear to be sinking into quicksand.
    Azama: The world will remember your sacrifice.
  • Fire Emblem: Three Houses isn't a slouch in the snark department, either.
    • Some of Byleth's dialogue options allow them to make dry comments while maintaining a serious face.
    • Claude is by far the most readily snarky of the three lords, most notably when introducing his classmates.
      Claude: There's been talk of an attempt on Rhea's life. We've been ordered to help the knights patrol. Could that possibly mean that Rhea isn't beloved by everyone the world over?
    • Linhardt generally speaks in the same flat tone of voice, and several of his interactions with other characters come off as snarky, notably his C with Ferdinand. He's also in full snark mode throughout the Cindered Shadows side story.
      Linhardt: You've mastered all the important noble skills. You drink tea, talk about how great you are, ride horses...
      Ferdinand: Indeed! I went for a ride earlier today.
      Linhardt: Is that so? You'll have to tell me about it sometime, when I'm not walking away...
      (Linhardt walks away.)
    • Hubert is quite sarcastic, usually in a mocking way.
      Hubert: For House Gautier to invite us on to their land, they must be desperate. But at least we'll have the stalwart knights ready to stand around and watch us do all the work.
    • Felix seems to have a snarky remark for most situations, and is even described as sarcastic in promotional materials.
    • Downplayed with Sylvain, as while he does make snarky comments from time to time, it's not nearly as frequent as the other characters.
    • Mercedes, of all people, also falls into this despite her soft voice, slipping sarcastic comments in without changing her tone.
    • Yuri puts even the likes of Claude and Linhardt to shame. Below is his response when Constance asks for his help in restoring House Nuvelle and promises to compensate him after she's back in power.
      Yuri: Let me cut through the mud here—you're broke, and you'll pay me after you get what you want. Wow. I love how irresponsible you are! Refreshing!
  • In Fire Emblem Engage, Nel, from the Fell Xenologue is cold and has a cutting wit, such as when she waits to inform Alear that they've arrived in Brodia until they're already inside.
    Alear: And you didn't think to mention that sooner?
    Nel: I was unaware it was so important. I hope you can still reschedule the parade.
• Henry and Delilah in Firewatch are this. When they talk, they occasionally like to banter with each other.
• Damon Baird of Gears of War. Marcus Fenix also comes in close behind him, especially when they're paired together, to the point where Dom remarks that its "Like two assholes on their first date."
  Baird Hey, I thought you'd enjoy the witty irony of grub-on-glowie violence!
  Marcus Yeah, it's fucking hilarious. You're gonna blow up the whole ship, genius!
• Ghostrunner: As he's only a voice in the Ghostrunner's head, the Architect never hesitates to cynically snipe at Zoe's transmissions. The Ghostrunner increasingly snarks back over the course of the game. Since they're both robots, they never show much inflection or emotion in these barbs besides some stoic disdain.
• Golden Sun's heroes are told that the sickly old guy can be healed with medicine that's hidden deeper in the dungeon. Suddenly, sweet, wholesome, goodhearted, soft-spoken White Magician Girl Mia drops this line:
  What, is there a pharmacy down there?
  • In The Lost Age, Sheba takes the role.
    Unless you're afraid your newest hero will be a girl.
  • Golden Sun: Dark Dawn just upgrades Weyard to a World of Snark. Everybody except Matthew and Himi gets a few snarky lines, and Matthew's emote responses can include a few moments of silent snark.
• Grandia II uses the main character as its snarker, resulting in many wonderful conversations where the party wants to stop and help people in need, and Ryudo rolls his eyes, mocks them all, and reluctantly agrees to go along with it.
• Grand Theft Auto
  • Grand Theft Auto: Vice City: Tommy never hesitates to snark in response to the absurd things that happen around him. Victor Vance from Vice City Stories is the same.
  • Toni Cipriani from Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories responds to everything with the same exasperated sarcasm. When he's not snarking, it's a sign that he's seriously pissed, as Giovanni Casa learns in "Dead Meat".
  • Grand Theft Auto IV - With all the shit Niko Bellic gives his clients, it is a surprise he gets work. Huang is the same in Chinatown Wars; it's a pity absolutely no one takes him seriously.
  • Ryder from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is constantly throwing shade at his Grove Street comrades. CJ also has some pretty snarky responses to the stuff he sees.
  • All protagonists from Grand Theft Auto V, especially Michael.
  • The protaganist of GTA Online has no speaking lines, but their body language is expressive enough to qualify for this trope.
• A lot of choices from the Dialogue Tree in Gunpoint are this.
• Hades portrays about half the Greek pantheon as this, but first prize goes to Zagreus, the protagonist, because he's the one who ends up sassing all the others. His father, Hades, at one point snidely proposes that Zag might be the God of Backtalk.
  Theseus: The fiend comes crawling back once more, drawn as he is much like the unassuming moth unto the flame of righteousness!
  Zagreus: Oh no, not the flame of righteousness! Are you finished?
• Halo:
  • The SPNKR, the incredibly powerful rocket launcher, that has a simple "pull to fire" function. Upon close inspection, the firing end says "Point this end at enemy". Yes, a gun is a deadpan snarker in this game (awesomely enough, this has some basis in reality: variants are also written on the side of US cruise missiles and the fronts of claymore mines).
  • Cortana is a prime source of snark; in Halo 2, after she asks if they could make any more noise, Chief pulls out a rocket launcher and she comments:
    "I guess so."
  • Romeo from Halo 3: ODST is usually at least a little snarky; when he hears about the Navy putting up a fight against the Covenant, all he says is:
    "Better later than never."
  • The Master Chief himself, despite his usual stoic professionalism, occasionally shows a snarky sense of humor:
    Guilty Spark: I'd always assumed it was a shield installation, but it seems I was mistaken.
    Chief: That's a first.
    [...]
    Cortana: Do you have a plan for escape?
    Chief: Thought I'd try shooting my way out. Mix things up a little.
• Hangaroo: The kangaroo never fails to make snide comments if you pick a wrong letter (e.g. "Thanks a lot there, Einstein", or "Why do I always get stuck with the idiots?" and many more). If you beat the game, he'll commend you by saying "Well, maybe you're not as dumb as you look."
• Carter Blake, a policeman from Heavy Rain could definitely qualify.
  Norman Jayden:There's no one home.
  Carter Blake: (kicks the door off its hinges) There is now.
  Norman Jayden:I'm not sure that's entirely legal.
  Carter Blake:...Call the cops.
• Kyle Hyde from Hotel Dusk: Room 215. That's his main characteristic.
• Hover: Revolt of Gamers is barely out of Prealpha on Steam Early Access, but its Snark generator is in full swing. Case in point - the banister's flavor text:
  Recently some species with variable corpulence have highlighted that barriers were based on human size standards, highlighting inequalities of security norms. Cases have been filed and are being ignored by local authorities' architects.
• Carpenter, the vengeful ghost from Hunter: The Reckoning, and also the only spirit that has retained its sapience.
  Typical. I try to help you and this is the thanks I get. You think I can't see you shaking at the other end of that barrel? Do you think I don't know that your brain is trying to process the horrible fact of "Oh my gawd it talks!" And if it talks...it thinks. And you can't stand that, can you? When are you going to learn that you're not Hunters. You're sheep...with shotguns.
• Ros in I Miss the Sunrise can be this too if you so desire, depending on the personality you choose and which choices you pick in Dialogue Trees. Marie also has her moments.
• The Jak and Daxter games dispense this trope with a Vulcan Fury. Daxter has been known to ask the progression-critical warrior NPC "Have you tried attacking him with your melodrama? 'Cause it's killing me!" Samos is also fairly good at it... And when Jak takes his Superpowered Evil Side Level in Badass, he begins dropping his own smart remarks.
• The Flash in Justice League Heroes: The Flash does this almost nonstop, as is his usual trait.
  Martian Manhunter: Brainiac's ship. Be careful, it's heavily defended.
  The Flash: Ah, I was wondering what the giant gun turret was for. Thanks for clearing that up.
• Some members of the cast of Katawa Shoujo are this, combining it with Disabled Snarker.
  • Hisao himself is often one in a First-Person Smartass sense
    Jigoro: When you look at me, can you not see the catalogue of my experiences even at a glance?
    Hisao: Uh... maybe. Were you a swordfighter? (narrating) He could also be Hawaiian, and a werewolf.
  • Rin tends to be fairly snarky when she isn't being a Cloud Cuckoolander. When Hisao finds her lying on the school roof and asks what she is doing (given Rin, the reason for her lying on the roof is unlikely to be obvious) he gets this response.
    Rin: I thought you had a heart problem, not an eye problem.
  • Shizune tends to be fairly sarcastic, which often goes over the head of her interpreter, Misha. Hisao, on the other hand, notices in her route that he's surprisingly able to detect her sarcasm without hearing her voice.
• While Kid Icarus: Uprising is a World of Snark and most of its characters are capable of dealing out one-liners, the title of "Biggest Snarker in the Game" decidedly goes to Viridi, the Goddess of Nature. Don't be fooled by her eight-year-old appearance. The girl is practically the epitome of dry wit and can deal out snazzy one-liners at the drop of a hat. Pit himself even lampshades that she'll insult him practically every time he opens his mouth.
• Colonel Hakha from Killzone is one of these, providing an excellent foil to Rico's dumbassery.
• For someone so cheerful, Sora can be quite a bit of a snarker in the Kingdom Hearts series, mostly in Kingdom Hearts II. One example is the very first cutscene in Space Paranoids.
  Sora: Who're you?
  Sark: I am Commander Sark.
  Sora: A "Heartless commander"?
  Sark: Observe. (tortures Sora's friends in front of him)
  • Riku himself even has his moments in Kingdom Hearts 3D [Dream Drop Distance]
    Riku: (seeing wooden copies of Mickey, Donald, and Goofy being held by the Beagle Boys) Is that suppose to be Mickey and the others? Yeesh, those three are together, even when they're made out of wood.
• Jolee Bindo in Knights of the Old Republic, and was likely the inspiration for Shepard's quote below.
  Sith student: You idiot! Do you have any idea how many Sith there are on Korriban?
  Bindo: Twelve! No, wait, thirteen!
• Several characters in Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords fit this from time to time. Atton and Kreia are the premier examples, though Mandalore, HK-47, G0-T0, and Mira have been known to fit this trope.
• With the recent new campaign, Crash Course, for Left 4 Dead, tough guy Francis has become a bit of a snarky character. The snark bait is mostly confined to the intro where he tells Louis that they just escaped from a helicopter crash and have to walk the rest of the way and asks him if he still feels positive now.
  • Also, his tendency to tease Zoey for having killed the helicopter pilot:
    Francis: (upon seeing zombies) Just pretend they're helicopter pilots!
  • In the second installment, Nick tends to fill that role, sometimes even falling into this.
    Coach: Shit, I used to go here when I was a kid!
    Nick: Oh good! Now we can die here as adults.
    Nick (When Rochelle, the only woman in their group, dies): There goes repopulating the earth.
• Raziel from the Legacy of Kain series is an excellent example of the trope, especially from Soul Reaver 2 on. It's made even better because he speaks in the distinctive style the games are known for.
  Raziel: Oh no. Every time you turn up something monumental and terrible happens. I don't think I have the stomach for it.
• In The Legend of Zelda, Tatl from Majora's Mask, Ezlo from The Minish Cap, and Midna from Twilight Princess are all deadpan snarkers, although the latter to a much greater extent than the former two.
  • Link himself has pretty strong hints of this in Skyward Sword, considering the dialogue choices one is able to choose for him.
  • Link's incarnation in Breath of the Wild is also one, as his dialogue choices tend to be either him goofing around or making snarky remarks. And then there's THIS.◊
• Many of the leading men of Like a Dragon qualify, but particularly Kazuma Kiryu, who often finds himself The Comically Serious one in the weird goings-on depicted in substories. If he's not responding to the strangeness around him with his fists, he's usually responding with a dry wit.
• The Mark has two playable protagonists, Steve and Austin, the latter being the bigger snarker. From asking mooks "You alright there?" after shooting them dead to sarcastically quipping towards Steve "You can be so bright sometimes" whenever Steve makes a Captain Obvious remark.
• The title protagonist of Mad Rat Dead delves into this at times.
  Rat God: I LIVE IN YOUR HEAD!!
  Mad Rat: Oh yeah? Where's rent?
• Mokka in Magical Starsign is this.
• Sarcasm is a pretty common source of humour in Magium.
  • Daren in particular stands out for equally fitting the "deadpan" and the "snarker" part, to the point that in chapter 4, Barry outright says it's impossible to tell if he is being serious or sarcastic.
  • Barry himself is quite sarcastic. Sometimes, there are even options to snark at people, allies and enemies alike.
• Tony Stark lives this trope in his role as one of the main NPCs in Marvel: Avengers Alliance. Nick Fury also gets in on the snarky fun sometimes.
• In Marvel Ultimate Alliance, Spider-Man EPITOMIZES this trope. 25% of his time is being useful, 75% is being an ass to Nick Fury.
  Fury: Spider-Man. Didn't expect you to answer my call [for help].
  Spider-Man: What? And miss riding on the Helicarrier? This beast has gotta be the biggest waste of tax payer money in history. Hey, you guys have any plans to make a flying Mt. Rushmore? Seriously, that would totally rock.
  • Deadpool is a close second, although much of his comments are a bit more on the surreal side.
  • If you have them both in the same party, the former deadpan snarks at the latter about finally meeting someone whose jokes are worse than his.
  • In Deadpool's solo mission he encounters an evil clone of Spidey. They engage in an epic Snark-Off, until Evil-Spidey's master Arcade gets annoyed and interrupts so they can actually get to the fight.
  • The game itself lampshades this when you create a team composed of Spidey, Deadpool, Iceman, and Human Torch. This results in a team bonus titled "Shut Up, Already!"
• Marvel Heroes contains no end of biting witticisms that heroes throw at each other or at downed foes. Though Spidey still dominates the cutscenes.
• Mass Effect:
  • Commander Shepard has the option to take several of these in both games. In some cases, such as the "Shadow Broker" DLC, it happens automatically!
    Turian Councilor And how many generations do you think it will take for them to wipe us out?!
    Shepard: Three. No, wait! Four!
    • Urdnot Wrex delivers his fair share as well.
    Wrex: Must be hard for you, Garrus, knowing that the person behind all this death and destruction is a turian Spectre.
    Garrus: Saren is a traitor and a madman. Taking him down will restore the good name of turians everywhere.
    Wrex: Glad to hear it. I was losing sleep over the prospect of people not loving the turians.
    • Shepard and Wrex are up to their old tricks in Mass Effect 2, but now they're joined by Garrus:
    Garrus: That's unfortunate. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through.
    Shepard: What is fun to fight through?
    Garrus: Gardens, electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy.
    • Liara too in Lair of the Shadow Broker, to the point of Snark-to-Snark Combat with Shepard at times. Doubles as Belligerent Sexual Tension if you pursued her Romance Sidequest in the first game.
    • Even Tali gets in on the snarking game in ME2. There's this gem from right after you re-recruit her:
    Shepard: I'm not working for [Cerberus], they're working for me.
    Tali: So you ordered the listening devices and tracking beacons that are all over this ship?
    • Fittingly, the chats between Garrus and Tali in Mass Effect 3 (provided you did not romance any of them) are almost only made of snark.
    • If Thane ever cracks a joke, it tends to be of the snarking variety: "Be still, Mouse. You may change your pants in a moment."
    • Joker, in the first game. However, EDI is a superior deadpan snarker in subsequent games. In the future, all deadpan snarking will be performed by artificial intelligences. That was a joke.
    • In his cycle, Javik did not need to snark. But now, he does, since he is surrounded by primitives.
    • There is also the entire conversation between Miranda and Jack during Citadel which borders on Vitriolic Best Buds — or on Belligerent Sexual Tension if you ask Shepard.
    Jack: It's kind of a stupid move to show up your rack in the middle of a maximum security prison ship.
    Miranda: I never had the pleasure.
    Jack: You'd never survive. You might break a nail.
    • It is actually faster to list the party members that do not snark at any point, since they are limited to, well, Samara and Legion. Even the list of occasional snarkers is short (Mordin, Jacob, Kaidan). The other ones are frequent offenders.
    • There are also many, many smartass NPC's who appear in one or two sidequests and then vanish. Special award for Detective Anaya in 2, who is well aware that she's in a bad situation involving a justicar and some very poorly thought out orders, and seems to be releasing her stress in the form of snarky commentary.
  "It's a great honor to have her here, but I could do without the honor of having her kill me."
• The Matrix: Path of Neo has an example in a hungover girl, who Neo rescued in a club. She snarks about Neo's cassock-type robe.
  Girl: Should you be running in that dress ?
• Solid Snake of the Metal Gear series, either in his own games or in Super Smash Bros.. Brawl.
  Vulcan Raven: You know of the World Eskimo-Indian Olympics?
  Solid Snake: Yeah, I know it. You must be a real threat in the "Muktuk Eating" contest.
• Private Mike Slauson in Medal of Honor: Vanguard is one as he often makes sarcastic comments during combat, such as when the player kills an enemy:
  Keegan's going for a medal.
  Keegan's becoming a sniper.
  Hey Keegan, leave some for us.
  • Also during the mission 'A Shallow Grave':
  Private Slauson: Hey, where's the big guy?
  Soldier: Chalmers!
  Private Chalmers: Shut up, I'm coming!
• One suspects that the stewardess from the Microsoft Flight Simulator "FSPassengers" add-on is an actual stewardess saying things she wants to but can't in real life. Paraphrased example: "If the plane comes down, you're dead. Have a nice day."
• Archibald Ironfist, from Might and Magic, tends towards this, though especially in Heroes of Might and Magic II, this sometimes overlaps with gloating.
  • Zehir in V took the trope and ran with it, and he has some of the best lines in the game because of this. In the expansions, he's joined by Freyda, Duncan, and Wulfstan, and some of their interactions are rather funny.
• Minecraft: Story Mode:
  • Jesse and Olivia will behave this way in a few cutscenes and dialogue branches.
    Axel: A good thief always covers his tracks.
    (he steals a glowing potion bottle, then replaces it with a completely ordinary one)
    Jesse: Oh yeah, the perfect crime.
  • Petra has her moments as well.
    Petra: If you need anything, you know where to find me.
    Olivia: None of us know where to find you.
    Petra: Exactly.
• Minotaur Hotel: P is this in spades, constantly making sarcastic and passive-aggressive remarks, while the master is a more toned downed aloof version.
• Elaine from Monkey Island, who seems to take after her grandfather.
• Incredibly common in Mortal Kombat's Earthrealm characters, especially the more stoic monk/religious types. For example, there's this dialogue between Johnny Cage and the two Shaolin monks in Jade's chapter of Mortal Kombat 9:
  Cage: "Lord"? I was with Smoke. I thought she was a bad guy, er, girl. Guess he turned another one. What's Raiden got that I haven't got?
  Liu Kang: God-like power?
  Kung Lao: A personality that is not at all like sanding paper?
  Cage: Jerks.
  • History repeats when Cage and Lao face off in 11.
    Johnny Cage: What's Liu Kang got that I haven't got?
    Kung Lao: A personality not at all like sanding paper?
    Johnny Cage: Ouch.
  • Speaking of her: Jade. She may not be what you think of when you think "deadpan", but she uses the same gentle tone whenever she snarks, and her wit is as razor sharp as Kitana's war fans; the combination probably drives her enemies nuts.
  • Erron Black from Mortal Kombat X is the classical definition, always having a snide remark in a dull tone towards his opponents. He's especially snarky towards other snarkers, like Johnny.
• Luzia of My Big Sister is full of sarcastic one-liners.
• Several characters from Neverwinter Nights 2 fulfill this trope, most notably Sand (who can't and won't pass up a chance to show off his dry wit and needs to cope with endless hours of weird crap), Bishop (who only does it to wound people) and, sometimes, Neeshka. Though most of the time, Neeshka does it with too much emotion attached to truly fit this trope. It's usually in response to one of the other companions rubbing her the wrong way, after all.
• Your companions Zhang and Boo from New Legends, respectively a Cool Old Guy and a Dark Is Not Evil half-demon sidekick. They have quite the tendency to snark sometimes.
  Boo: Where is that old man? Old man! Where in the hell have you gone? Are you dead?
  Zhang: If I were dead I couldn't answer that question, could I?
  Boo: Does it sound like I care?
• Nexomon Extinction has its fair share, but none of them hold a candle to Coco, who dryly comments about the plot, characters' actions, etc. every chance he gets.
  Coco (after Videll berates you at the Outlands for feeling like your babysitter): You know, it's not too late to revise our career options.
• Nintendo Wars: Lin from Advance Wars: Days of Ruin, especially in the Tactics briefings, and especially towards Will. She's arguably that much more badass because of it, though. Consider her response to a question from Dr. Morris, one of the few likable civilians in the game and possibly the one remaining person with a sense of humor.
  Dr. Morris: Honestly! Where is your sense of humor?
  Lin: It was shot off in the war. Very sad.
• The Stranger from Nocturne (1999) claims to have no sense of humor, but still manages to deliver some vicious one-liners to those around him, particularly when he is especially annoyed (i.e., much of the time).
  Bobby Jo: Are you married?
  Stranger: No.
  Bobby Jo: My daddy says I'm going to make some lucky man very happy some day when I get married.
  Stranger: He was probably referring to himself.
• Microsoft representative Don Mattrick did this in an interview about the Xbox One's requirement for a constant internet connection.
  Mattrick: "Fortunately we have a product for people who aren't able to get some form of connectivity; it’s called Xbox 360."
  • He then goes on to say that one of the people who would be the most inconvenienced would be those sailing underwater in a nuclear submarine, where it would be difficult to connect to the internet. This promptly backfired on him, and may have played a part (along with Microsoft's backpedaling on the Xbox One's controversial launch) in his leaving the company.
• Osvald from Octopath Traveler II tends to be extremely blunt, and his sarcastic remarks are enhanced by his often annoyed or dry delivery. A good example occurs in his first Crossed Path chapter with Partitio when they first encounter Regulus. Partitio exclaims that they could "trip over opportunity" in a place like New Delsta. Then, Regulus shows up and collapses from hunger. Osvald's response to this?
  Osvald: (dryly) Well, he certainly tripped over...something.
• Miles Upshur, protagonist of Outlast, is one in his written notes throughout the game (the only times he ever speaks, aside from screams and pained grunts). Some of his lines include:
  Miles (After Father Martin crucifies himself and is then burned alive): I can't believe Father Martin one-upped Jesus Christ himself in shitty ways to die.
  Miles (After killing Trager by trapping him in-between floors with an elevator): How to make Trager Juice. Step one: Squeeze.
  Miles: I wake up and some doughy old man with a face like an alcoholic kiddy fiddler in a homemade priest outfit calls me his Apostle. Not a job I asked for.
• Pâquerette Down the Bunburrows: Ophéline gladly helps Pâquerette out, but she does remark how ridiculous everything is whenever she can.
• Pillars of Eternity is an outright World of Snark, but special standouts are Edér, whose Establishing Character Moment is literal Gallows Humor involving a tree covered in hanged bodies that he expects he may yet end up on, and Hiravias, who can come up with a Your Mom joke in the face of the Final Boss.
• Planescape: Torment:
  • Morte, who is such an aggravating snarker that he has a special ability called "litany of curses" that can drive your enemies so crazy with anger they have to attack him in melee. Even if they're a Squishy Wizard.
  • Annah seems this way at first, but she's far too easy to fire up. The Nameless One, depending on player choice, but some of his lines are too good to pass up.
    • Must.. get...Lawful Good Alignment.. to.. use.. super.. artifact.. weapon.. must.. not.. snark... ARGH..
    • The Nameless One actually manages to get a bit of snark into his frequently updated journal, regardless of his alignment, mostly in the form of commenting on the ridiculous quests the party encounters.
• The Laverre City Friendship Rater in Pokémon X and Y reacts to an absolute zero friendship in this manner.
  What's this? Are you a disciplinarian? Or do you plan to use the move Frustration?
• In Pokémon Scarlet and Violet, The Smart Guy Penny starts off as a meek Shrinking Violet but once she opens up to you and your friends she reveals herself to be this and quickly starts butting heads with Arven.
• GLaDOS from Portal has a period in the middle of the game as this, before descending into childish insults and general insanity. In the second game, she suffers from intense sarcasm fever almost from the beginning and never recovers.
  GLaDOS: Look at you. Sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.
  • Wheatley attempts this in Act III in Portal 2 , but he's terrible at it.
• The Prince in Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time uses snarkiness to complement his role as a Loveable Rogue.
  "Of course, finding my way to the baths from here should be easy. I'll just ask the nearest sand creature. 'Could you direct me to the baths? Thanks.' 'No problem, I used to be a bath attendant back when I was alive'." [Beat] Why am I talking to myself?!
• Selvan from Radiant Historia:
  "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to set my own city on fire."
• Randal's Monday: Both Randal and Kramer are loaded with quips and comebacks, and neither takes anything from anyone.
• Lawrence, the robot butler of Big Bad Dr. Nefarious in Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal. Most of Lawrence's snarkiness is directed at his (largely oblivious) boss, but he manages to get off a few snide remarks at the heroes, as well.
  Nefarious: So this is the mighty Q-Force? I could destroy the lot of you and it wouldn't even get mentioned in Supervillain Weekly!
  Lawrence: True, sir, but you would have done the fashion world an enormous service.
• Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc: Murphy plays this role in the first level.
  "This manual just blows my mind. It explains that switches trigger mechanisms. Duh. Oh Geez, who's responsible for this garbage?"
• In Reflections on the River, Zheng (the protagonist) is particularly fond of this, but the other two major characters can each get their own hits in when they feel inclined. They become particularly pointed when critiquing Zheng's not-very-well-thought-out kidnapping of them — and the fact that they feel bold enough to do so reinforces the fact that Zheng's too snarky to be taken very seriously as a sinister hostage-taker.
• Resident Evil has got many examples of this.
  • Leon in Resident Evil 4, cracking corny-but-cool jokes in life threatening situations.
    • Leon also returns in Resident Evil 6, with his snark from 4 still there
  • Jake is totally this in Resident Evil 6 with Sherry and everyone else he meets along the way, to the extreme, but he's a good guy deep down.
• Rune Factory 3 has Micah and Karina, to some extent. But then again, they live in a village full of Cloud Cuckoolander.
• Zyzyx from Sacrifice, who incidentally is voiced by Rob Paulsen, the same man who voiced Morte above. Amongst the gods, Stratos can also get rather sarcastic, and good ol' boy James displays a surprisingly dry wit at times.
• Saints Row
  • The Boss, even in the first game where they barely talked.
  • William Sharp in Saints Row talked like this almost every other sentence, whether it be towards his nephew, double agent Lin or Donnie, who he thinks is a 'nimrod'.
  • Zinyak in Saints Row IV enjoys employing sarcastic humour just as much as The Boss.
• Ishida Mitsunari in Samurai Warriors, and more so in the Spin-Off game Warriors Orochi acting as Cao Pi's primary foil.
• While you mostly get ham in Koei's Warriors series, Samurai Warriors gives us Cool Old Guy Shingen Takeda. The man isn't quite deadpan, as he's too cheerful for that, but he's quite generous in ladling out the snark.
  Shingen: Have your people contact my people. Maybe we'll stab at each other over tea.
  Or, concerning his eternal conflict with Kenshin Uesugi:
  Kenshin: I am the only one who may slay my Nemesis.
  Shingen: Now Kenshin, don't you think I should get some say in who gets to kill me?
  Or, facing Tadakatsu Honda:
  Tadakatsu: It matters not how many people you threw at me. I will fell them all!
  Shingen: And what if I threw kittens at you, Tadakatsu, would you fell them too?
  And in death:
  Shingen: This never would have happened...to Sima...Yi...
• The player character trapped on The Secret Island of Dr. Quandary, after getting over the initial Transformation Trauma.
• In The Sims Medieval, the Hero Sim you're playing often has snarky quest dialogue, as does a Royal Advisor if one features in a quest.
• Wanda from Skully. Of the four elemental siblings, she's the one who tends to snark the most in conversations.
  Wanda: Just tell me when we're burnt into a crisp.
  [said when Terry and Skully accidentally pissed off Fiona the Fire Elemental, while Wanda is trapped in an enchanted bottle]

• Gig from Soul Nomad & the World Eaters, who liberally throws around insults and sarcasm directed at you, your team-mates and the world in general whenever he's annoyed, smug, confrontational, or just plain bored (in other words, all of the time, except when he's offering exposition or being incredibly self-aggrandizing).
• The Terror Mask from the remake of Splatterhouse.
• Sam Fisher of Splinter Cell. Despite his age, Sam Fisher is still quick of wit, like when he does interrogations of random mooks.
  Sam: Let's play a game. Pick a number between one and ten.
  Mook with knife to his throat: Uh... ah... three?
  Sam: Damn, it's your lucky day. You get to live. Now tell me something useful or we'll play again.
  • Or this:
    Sam (holding a terrorist by the throat): I'm going inside to meet your friends. Anything I need to worry about?
    Guard: They have guns.
    Sam: I'm shocked and amazed.
  • Or this:
    Sam (after smashing a guard's face into a drawer): You're gonna have to pay for sex from now on...
  • His support team are often the brunt of his dead-pan humor as well.
    Anna (Grimsdottir): The Maria Narcissa.
    Sam: Sounds like you're setting me up for another blind date.
    Anna: The Maria Narcissa is a boat.
    Sam: So was the last girl you set me up with.
    Anna: Fisher!
    Sam: Sorry.
• Falco Lombardi definitely qualifies, especially in Star Fox 64. Whether it's a foe or friendly, Falco won't hesitate to snark at everyone. Slippy himself dips into this in Star Fox: Assault where he gets tired of being the Butt-Monkey and snarks at everyone, even telling Falco to shut his beak for once.
• The Smuggler class in Star Wars: The Old Republic, depending on your snarky dialogue choices.
  • The Sith Inquisitor class, even moreso than the Smuggler. Whereas the Smuggler's snark is of the "cheeky loveable rogue" flavor, the Inquisitor's snark is mostly designed to cut down or mock people.
    Inquisitor: (to their Sadist Teacher) Yes, yes yes, you send me off to a tomb to do the impossible, hoping I die, and then I came back and prove you wrong.
  • Some companions qualify (Risha, Akaavi Spar, Kaliyo, Dr. Lokin...)
  • Just about everyone, at some point or other.
• Aschen Brodel from Super Robot Taisen: OG Saga: Endless Frontier is one of these... when she's not being a Genki Girl due to the mental effects of her Super Mode.
  • About 1/3 of the dialogue in the game is snarking, deadpan or otherwise.
• Of all beings, the Kraken/Thundering Fists from Sword of the Stars II. His response when you offer the lives of your Zuul to refill his health is a dry "Ah, you generously offer me your crumbs".
• Jade from Tales of the Abyss is king of this trope. Snarkiness is just his way of showing affection, after all.
  Jade: Don't worry, the worst that could happen is we all die.
  ...
  Jade: Having this many suicidal people around is really getting on my nerves.
  ...
  Anise: Colonel, you're a terrific liar! Your smile hasn't budged!
  Jade: Oh not at all, I'm crying on the inside, wracked with guilt.
  Guy: Uh-huh...
  • Though not the extent as Jade, Luke has his moments.
  • So does Guy, usually when bantering with Jade.
  • Emperor Peony manages to go above and beyond, his comments leaving even Jade flustered.
• Lambda in Tales of Graces. This deserves mention because he speaks in nothing more than a Creepy Monotone but we know when he's being snarky.
• Centurion Tenebrae carries on right where Jade left off in Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World.
  • He doesn't always succeed. Especially not when Colette's around.
  • Tenebrae is a snarker when he's not making bad puns, anyway.
  • Or getting outright attacked by other characters for said puns. In some cases the other characters snark off of his snarks.
• Yuri Lowell from Tales of Vesperia has been called Jade 2.0 for a reason...
• Basically any time the characters talk to each other in Team Fortress 2, there's some snark involved. It happens just as much between teammates as it does between enemies.
  Sniper (to enemy Sniper): The bullets come out of the slim end, mate!
  Medic (to teammates when defending): Standing near ze point does nothing! Get on ze point, Dummkopf!
• Garrett in Thief:
  • To Victoria after an unexpectedly dangerous job:
    Garrett: Is this how our arrangement is going to work? You coming up with ways for me to get myself killed?
  • Upon observing a two-bit thief try to impersonate Garret:
    Garret: Oh, so thats the famous Garret. Guess he's not as good-looking as I'd heard.
• Lara Croft from the Tomb Raider franchise has various shades of snark to both enemies and friends alike.
• Dr. Eva Rosalene and Dr. Neil Watts from To the Moon. They're most definitely a snarker team. Here's just a few of their lines:
  Eva: Where were you looking, Neil?!
  Neil: Well, excuse me for heroically evading that squirrel coming out of nowhere!
  Neil: HIT IT, TIMMY!!!
  (Timmy plays a horrible three notes on the piano)
  Neil: ...Wow, that was horrible... But I digress!
  (Eva facepalms)
  • Nicolas shows some shades of this too:
  Nick: So, did she throw an encyclopedia in your face?
• Tokimeki Memorial: Yuina Himoo from 1, being a 300 IQ Mad Scientist, has her moments.
• Touchstarved: When Mhin talks at all, they're usually sassing whoever they're talking to. The protagonist also has a lot of snark potential, depending on your dialogue choices.
• Touhou Project has Patchouli Knowledge. She's generally quiet and not very energetic, but has a sharp tongue and enjoys snarking at friends and foes alike.
  • Satori Komeiji has shades of this as well. Being a mind-reader with a compulsive lack of Mind over Manners who has likely read plenty of stupid/perverted/evil toughts during her life one can imagine that she has had a lot of opportunities to practice.
• Ange Ushiromiya from Umineko: When They Cry, who's as cynical as they come, and only rarely indulges in anything but flat snarks to the more animated people around her.
• Nathan Drake of Uncharted seems to communicate in snarks. He'll always find a way to be smart-alecky in any situation.
  Flynn: (Throwing a rope down during their heist) Ladies first.
  Drake: Heh heh, cute.
  • Nate's not the only one. His wife Elena gets some good-natured snark in, mainly towards Nate. His long-lost brother Sam is his equal in snarking. His father figure Sully, the majority of whose interactions with Nate consist of trading sarcastic exchanges:
    Nate: Okay, now just reach in and find the lever.
    Elena: Really?
    Nate: I think we have to pull them at the same time.
    Elena: Okay, but what if you're wrong?
    Sully: Yeah, I kind of like this arm, Nate. I use it all the time.
  • But the gold medal has to go to Nate's Old Flame, Awesome Aussie Chloe Frazer. Half the time, she's Nate's equal in being snarky. Bonus points for being voiced by Claudia Black, the same voice actress as the below-mentioned Morrigan.
    Nate: I'll just need a diversion. You give me five minutes alone in that tent, that's all it'll take.
    Chloe: Really, five minutes? Well, that's great. I won't even have to get my top off.
  • Charlie Cutter is somehow even snarkier then Nate, Sully and Chloe combined.
    Sully: Who the hell drives their car underground?
    Charlie: Maybe someone who doesn’t want to be followed, y’know, it’s just a guess!

Sully: Smart ass.

Nate: My god, you know what this is?
Charlie: Yeah, it’s a book mate. There’s a lot of ‘em in here, it’s called ‘a library’.

• In Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines
  • Beckett is a prime Deadpan Snarker, although this may be helped by his voice actor reading his every single line in an over-the-top sarcastic tone of voice.
  • Deb, the host for an in-game late-night radio talk show, is an equally good example. Her best lines come from dealing with the collection of weirdos that call in.
  • As the player character a good chunk of your lines are bemoaning the suicidal tasks and absolute loonies you have to deal with as a new addition to the World of Darkness.
  • Even your journal and item descriptions get in on the act.
• The Walking Dead:
  • Clementine becomes really sarcastic as she grows older. Notably, in Season 2 Episode 2, when Luke asks her to climb a ski lift to observe their surroundings, Clementine can retort with the following:
    Clementine: What am I, a monkey?
  • Lee has his moments, such as:
    Lee: What if my leg gets infected?
    Hershel Greene: [calmly] We'll just have to shoot you.
    [Beat, with Clementine making a priceless expression in the background]
    Hershel Greene: We'll clean it and redress it and it'll be fine.
    Lee: Ok. That'd be preferable.
  • Lilly, Molly, Christa, Carley, and sometimes Larry.
    Larry: I've got charm coming out of my ass!
    Lilly: Yeah that's... real charming, Dad.
• Geralt of Rivia in The Witcher is infamous for this among his associates. In one of the trailers for Gwent: The Witcher Card Game, he continues even as soldiers bust into the locale he and Ciri are playing in and approach her from behind. Keep in mind, he's still talking about their game.
  Geralt: Let me guess. She's got a dragon.
• Witch Hunter Izana: Cyrano, one of your party members never hesitates to poke fun at The Fundamentalist Izana's inflexibility and is generally acerbic to her at every opportunity. It's implied this is a reaction to the many friends she's lost in the invasion of the island.
• A lot of questgivers and Non Player Characters in Warcraft and World of Warcraft. Especially those with 'irritated' quotes if you click on them one too many times. Tirion Fordring is a master of snark, especially in one quest, where you kill a traitor and he says EVERY LINE so seriously that you honestly believe that he is really going to punish you, and then he finishes with "your heroism is budding faster than I thought!"
  • Darion Mograine, when he isn't angsting.
  • Hamuul Runetotem, archdruid of the Horde, has become one by Tides of War, often in response to Garrosh's rhetorical questions.
    Hamuul: (Thrall) knew that while he was the leader of the Horde, it was the Horde as a whole that mattered.
    Garrosh: Does this look like the green skin of Thrall?
    Hamuul: No, Warchief. No one would ever mistake you for Thrall.
    • Illidan Stormrage from Warcraft III: "I am blind, not deaf."
• There's a (very well) hidden Easter Egg in Wave Race: Blue Storm that replaces your usually Captain Obvious crew chief with a bored guy who spends the entire race snarking at everything you do. Suuuuuuuper.
• Arthur Hastings from We Happy Few tries to be this, but the sheer terror in his voice when he speaks kind of cancels out the "deadpan" bit.
• Neku Sakuraba in The World Ends with You, especially in Another Day. Joshua as well, though he's a lot less cynical and does it more for the sake of annoying Neku.
• Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Mythra. Though it is more so in the Torna prequel, while she doesn't show it as often in the main base game due to mellowing out, she still has her moments.
• Eunie from Xenoblade Chronicles 3, big time. With her constant, snarky remarks and fairly foul mouth, she is easily the most popular character in the game, possibly even the series.
  • Xenoblade Chronicles 3: Future Redeemed: Rex and Pyra’s daughter, Glimmer, is quite snarky as well, seeming to take after her Aunt, Mythra.

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