Deadpan Snarker: Video Games
Deadpan Snarkers in Video Games.
- Ayane of Dead or Alive and Ninja Gaiden fame often dips into this, typically in her DOA win quotes. One such gem is:
Ayane: "Y'know, you're supposed to watch your opponent when you fight."
- Lin from Advance Wars: Days of Ruin. Especially in the Tactics briefings, and especially towards Will. She's arguably that much more badass because of it, though.
Dr. Morris: Honestly! Where is your sense of humor?Lin: It was shot off in the war. Very sad.
- She's got it down to a science. Consider her response to a question from Dr. Morris, one of the few likable civilians in the game and possibly the one remaining person with a sense of humor.
- Given what few comments Mike Thorton from Alpha Protocol delivers without you having to pick his responses, he would appear to default to snarkiness when he's not deliberately acting otherwise. Play a suave Thorton and practically every line he delivers will be snark.
- Saki Tsuzura from the all-female fighting game Arcana Heart has some win quotes that have her flatly criticizing an opponent's skill and/or mindset.
- Shaun from Assassin's Creed II and Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood. Very rarely does he say anything (history nerd rants exempt) that isn't sarcastic and dickish. He also delivers the funniest moments in Brotherhood, and has a fair share of humor in AC II. Even his codex entries, in every game they appear, are filed with sarcastic notes. It's always worth a read.
- (Pictured) Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie, due to both plain snarkyness and being fairly Genre Savvy. Apparently this was supposed to be reduced in Nuts & Bolts. Oops.
- Both The Bard and the unnamed narrator (as voiced by the late Tony Jay), in the 2004 version of The Bard's Tale. They trade barbs to each other about the ridiculous things that happen in the game. In fact, "snarky" is a actual in game option to chose when engaging in dialogue.
Narrator: And then the Bard looted the chest, which contained the widow's most precious... Wait a minute. Did I read that properly? You're stealing from her?
The Bard: I wouldn't call it stealing, exactly. I mean, people leave all kinds of things in chests, and they never seem to object when I help myself. Think of it as a public service. I mean, who knows how cluttered these chest might become if I didn't do my part to help clean 'em out?
Narrator: In hindsight, I'm surprised it took the Bard this long to get his hands on Mary's chest.
- Guillo from Baten Kaitos. Its hilarious sarcasm alone could make Origins worth playing.
- The role-playing rhythm-game Before the Echo (formerly Sequence) has the two main characters, Ky and Naia, as well as anyone else they can drag in to their snarkier conversations (notably the fourth and fifth floor bosses). Outside of the very serious portions, the game is effectively made up of nothing but snark and puns. Even the tutorial video on Steam is filled with snark, for instance only mentioning HP briefly and stating that if you can't figure out that you need to keep it above zero, they can't help you.
- BlazBlue has two resident snarkers: Jin Kisaragi and Rachel Alucard.
Bang talking to an injured Jin in Ronin-GaiBang: Yes, it is true that you have brought terrible misery upon the people of Ikaruga. My hatred for you will never be enough. However, a true warrior of Ikaruga would never leave an injured man to die. You may be our sworn enemy, but for now, you are unsworn.
- For Jin:
Jin: Are you telling me to stay here and heal my wounds or something?
Bang: Indeed I am.
Jin: No wonder you lost. There is but one goal in war and that is victory. Also, if your opponent outclasses you, then striking before he can retaliate is an absolute must. Your idiocy is truly astounding.
Bang: Well, as you have said... many times... I am an idiot.
Jin and Makoto walking togetherMakoto: Oh, look at them go! It's so peaceful here.
Jin: "Noisy" would be much more accurate.
Makoto: Do you always have to be so cynical?
Why, hello, Ragna. As ever, your face reminds me of nature's cruel sense of humor.I thought perhaps death would humble you somewhat, but now I see that was a foolish hope.Very well then. If you insist. We will have three orders of this... puffed fish. Do try and make at least one of them edible.If you really cherish that doll of yours, perhaps you should only play with her at home. It would be such a terrible shame if something bad were to happen to her...
- And Rachel has these gems:
- An interesting case in Bomberman 64 The Second Attack where Bomberman himself, despite being portrayed as a Heroic Mime in the game, is revealed to actually be a deadpan snarker after getting the good ending which goes back and shows what the White Bomber was saying in most of game's cutscenes. Most of which are snarky comebacks directed at his comic relief partner, Pommy.
- Jimmy from Bully.
Mrs. Hopkins: Jimmy, please say something.Rich Guy: James...Jimmy: What? Who're you? Mom, I thought you told me never to talk to strangers.Mrs. Hopkins: Like I said before, Jimmy, please be nice to your new stepfather.Jimmy: OK, Rich Guy, I love it that you're twice as old as my grandfather and you're fat and bald.Mrs. Hopkins: That's enough! I've had it with you, you little brat!Rich Guy: You've upset your mother! I've got half a mind to beat you!Jimmy: Half a mind is right. Suddenly, he realizes!Mrs. Hopkins: I can't believe you, you little monster! We'll deal with you when we get back from our honeymoon, next year.Rich Guy: Here we are, boy. Bullworth Academy. Have fun, Jimmy. I'll think of you from our cruise ship. [Mrs. Hopkins laughs]Jimmy: Whatever.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce Femboy! The girliest boy in our school. Say Petey, don't you have some imaginary friends to annoy?""Don't worry, Jimmy, it's only something I came up with. It's "sink or swim", my friend. And if you're good at swimming, you gotta let the losers drown.""Ecstatic! I love watching two morons beat the crap out of each other!""Let me see - uhh, it's Halloween. All the prefects are at some party and the teachers are 'entertaining' - I use the word loosely - the kids. No, I'd say the opportunities for fun are pretty much nil."
- Gary as well:
- Carol's comments from the Carol Reed Mysteries really reflect her dry humour.
- Trilby in 5 Days a Stranger definitely feels snarky... and can you blame him?
- Clive Barker's Undying: Ambrose Covenant, of all people.
Father always said "self-reflection is the key to enlightenment." Allow me to reflect on this day. How could I have saved my father from a slow, painful death? I could have hit him harder.
- Captain Nick "Havoc" Parker in Command & Conquer: Renegade. (That's right—not any one instance, the whole game.)
- Some units in the Wehrmacht and Panzer Elite factions of "Company of Heroes" can be sarcastic, like the crews of the Ostwind and Pak 38.
Pak 38 Crew: (after being ordered to camouflage) Sure we'll hide this...giant gun.
Panzer Grenadier: I ordered this rain especially for you Deihnhard...
Ostwind Tank Commander: Rain.....open-top tank.....fucking great engineering...
- And of course:
- Eliphas the Inheritor in Dawn of War, especially with the Orks:
- Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter: 'Ere I come, Chaos BoyzEliphas the Inheritor: Your subtlety astounds me, Ork.
- Frank West in Dead Rising 2: Off the Record, oh so very much.
- Crypto in Destroy All Humans!.
- Deus Ex has a lot of snarky remarks here and there.
JC Denton: A bomb's a bad choice for close-range combat.
JC Denton: You mechs may have copper wiring to reroute your fear of pain, but I've got nerves of steel.
Walton Simons: You take another step forward and here I am again, like your own reflection in a hall of mirrors.
JC Denton: That makes me one ugly son of a bitch. How'd my face get all marked up with bioelectrics?
Bob Page: You're too late! Already I am more than human...
JC Denton: Does that mean I don't get the job?
Pritchard: Jensen!Jensen: How can I help you, Francis?Pritchard: You know why I'm contacting you.Jensen: The transmission that's making a mockery of your security efforts?
- Alex in Invisible War can get it from his/her brother.
- Depending on dialogue options, Adam Jensen from Human Revolution can be quite snarky.
Jensen: You're right, a teacher would just love to have one of those things.
- After being told that augs could be used in the classroom, and then witnessing a military aug blow up a bunch of test dummies:
O'Malley: "Were you followed?"Jensen: "Yeah. By a midget and a clown for a while, lucky they met the bearded woman they were looking for at a diner and we went our seprate ways."
Jensen: "Let me guess, that was supposed to shut me down right?"
- Later on If you chose not to install the new chip at the LIMB clinic we get this before the fight with Namir.
- Disgaea games are guaranteed to have at least one per game. It seems to be practically hard coded into demon's genes in fact.
- Ling Tong's debut in Dynasty Warriors portrayed him as a deadpan snarker, primarily to Gan Ning. Averted in the spin-off/crossover Warriors Orochi, where he's just an ass.
- Haskill from The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion in the Shivering Isles expansion. He's never not snarking at you.
- While she's mentioned under Servile Snarker, Lydia deserves mention here, as well. Though as of Hearthfire, her dialogue goes from snarky to warm, depending on how often you have her around, and how well you treat her.
- Speaking of DLC, how about Serana? Half of her comments are about how awful the weather is (in a very sarcastic way), and the other half, which typically relies on you being next to some place, or someone important, are fittingly rips on said location/person. Doubly so if it's a cave.
- There's also the dremora merchant from the Dragoborn DLC. When summoned, he doesn't try to hide his contempt for mortals but will still act with some respect to the player.
- Aschen Brodel from Super Robot Taisen: OG Saga: Endless Frontier is one of these... when she's not being a Genki Girl due to the mental effects of her Super Mode.
- About 1/3 of the dialogue in the game is snarking, deadpan or otherwise.
- The ability to select dialogue options allows you to be this in Fallout 3. In fact, one of a set of optional quest rewards depends on your willingness to respond snidely to a variety of questions.
"Too... tired... to be... snide."
The Courier: Caesar wants me to destroy this place.Mr. House: Was that supposed to come as a shocking revelation?
- Interesting, in that this particular quest has multiple rewards depending on success and your responses. The snide response line rewards one of the two generally considered best options.
- Fallout: New Vegas has more than its fair share of snarkers, as well.
- Since the game is about people with horrible backstories and their efforts to get past them, most of the cast of Fate/stay night are snarkers to a degree. Even the Token Mini-Moe gets in plenty of burns in whenever she's not acting cute. Even Shirou is an acute smartass and observer while narrating; he's just too polite to let the snark out most of the time. The best example, however, is Archer, who despite being Shirou from the future, is much less polite, and spends most of his time making fun of his allies, his enemies, and his Rin. Rin herself enjoys messing with people politely, but her favourite target is Shirou, since she can be as rude as she likes and Shirou is a funny masochist who likes arguing with her. The only main characters who don't snark are Taiga, Saber and Sakura; but if you can get past the reserve and self-loathing respectively, you'll see that Sakura snarks with the best of them like her sister Rin, and Saber's chivalrous politeness hides a sharp tongue which is revealed mainly due to Shirou's disregard for practicality.
- The commentators in FIFA Soccer Sports Game tend to be this from time to time.
*an attacker sent a relatively tame shot to goal which the goalkeeper easily saved*Commentator: Thank you very much, says the goalkeeper.
- Final Fantasy:
- Final Fantasy VIII has Laguna Loire's Those Two Guys best friends, Kiros and Ward. Given that Laguna is a front-to-end Idiot Hero, their moments are very common.
- Lulu in Final Fantasy X is so deadpan, they created Paine for Final Fantasy X-2 because if they'd gone with their plan A of using Lulu, most of the banter would be shut down brutally early.
- Auron, so much.
Auron: (seeing Evrae, the guardian wyrm of Bevelle) The red carpet has teeth.
Auron: Once Lady Yuna fixes her hair, we leave.
Auron: That Kinoc, a Maester?
- Final Fantasy XII
- Balthier has this in spades.
Ashe trying to warn the part about the dangers inside the Tomb of Raithwall Only his descendants are suffered within. If we enter without proof of such lineage-Balthier There's no guarantee we'll make it out alive. Vicious beasts. Fiendish traps. Something like that?Ashe nodding Mhhm. But you must consider the prize. The Dawn Shard lies within. And Raithwalls treasure.Balthier And there was I thinking this was going to be hard.
- Balthier has this in spades.
- Given the fact that the series has Loads and Loads of Characters, Fire Emblem naturally has some of these. Ranulf is probably the best example, though Ike himself is pretty good at it when Ranulf's not around.
Old Hubba: You may have to fight the same soldiers more than once to truly defeat them. The Einherjar can come back to life, you see. They're stubborn that way...
- Soren is by far the best example of this trope; he's always bursting everyone's collective bubble.
- Raven and Legault from the seventh game are also decent examples of snarkers, though Raven a bit more so.
- Chrom. Hoo, boy... If anything outlandish happens, he will be among the first to lampshade it. This isn't so apparent in the main story, but in the DLC, he's the resident Deadpan Snarker, especially to Old Hubba.
Chrom: Let me guess: It's something to do with the unique time-continuum thing...?
Old Hubba: Why, yes! How did you know!? Do you have the gift of foresight, as well!? Perhaps you have also prognosticated what we must do to stop them? Defeat them repeatedly to weaken them, and I can seal them back into their cards!
Chrom: Oh, sure! Best the greatest soldiers in history over and over again? No problem!
Old Hubba: That's the spirit!
- Damon Baird of Gears of War. Marcus Fenix also comes in close behind him, especially when they're paired together, to the point where Dom remarks that its "Like two assholes on their first date."
Baird Hey, I thought you'd enjoy the witty irony of grub-on-glowie violence!
Marcus Yeah, it's fucking hilarious. You're gonna blow up the whole ship, genius!
- Golden Sun's heroes are told that the sickly old guy can be healed with medicine that's hidden deeper in the dungeon. Suddenly, sweet, wholesome, goodhearted, soft-spoken White Magician Girl Mia drops this line:
- What, is there a pharmacy down there?
- Grandia II uses the main character as its snarker, resulting in many wonderful conversations where the party wants to stop and help people in need, and Ryudo rolls his eyes, mocks them all, and reluctantly agrees to go along with it.
- Grand Theft Auto IV - With all the shit Niko Bellic gives his clients, it is a surprise he gets work. Huang is the same in Chinatown Wars; it's a pity absolutely no one takes him seriously.
- Ryder from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.
- All protagonists from Grand Theft Auto V, especially Michael.
- A lot of choices from the Dialogue Tree in Gunpoint are this.
- Halo has the SPNKR, the incredibly powerful rocket launcher, that has a simple "pull to fire" function. Upon close inspection, the firing end says "Point this end at enemy". Yes, a gun is a deadpan snarker in this game.
Guilty Spark: I'd always assumed it was a shield installation, but it seems I was mistaken.Chief: That's a first.
- Awesomely enough, this has some basis in reality: variants are also written on the side of US cruise missiles and the fronts of claymore mines.
- Cortana has a good one, as after she asks if they could make any more noise, Chief pulls out said missile launcher and she comments, "I guess so."
- Romeo of Halo 3: ODST does this often.
- As well as Dutch, to some extent.
- And the Master Chief himself.
- Carter Blake from Heavy Rain could definitely qualify.
Norman Jayden:There's no one home.Carter Blake: *kicks the door off its hinges* There is now.Norman Jayden:I'm not sure that's entirely legal.Carter Blake:...Call the cops.
- Kyle Hyde from Hotel Dusk: Room 215. That's his main characteristic.
- Hover Revolt Of Gamers is barely out of Prealpha on Steam Early Access, but its Snark generator is in full swing. Case in point - the banister's flavor text:
Recently some species with variable corpulence have highlighted that barriers were based on human size standards, highlighting inequalities of security norms. Cases have been filed and are being ignored by local authorities' architects.
- Carpenter, the vengeful ghost from Hunter: The Reckoning, and also the only spirit that has retained its sapience.
Typical. I try to help you and this is the thanks I get. You think I can't see you shaking at the other end of that barrel? Do you think I don't know that your brain is trying to process the horrible fact of "Oh my gawd it talks!" And if it talks...it thinks. And you can't stand that, can you? When are you going to learn that you're not Hunters. You're sheep...with shotguns.
- Ros in I Miss the Sunrise can be this too if you so desire, depending on the personality you choose and which choices you pick in Dialogue Trees. Marie also has her moments.
- The Jak and Daxter games dispense this trope with a Vulcan Fury. Daxter has been known to ask the progression-critical warrior NPC "Have you tried attacking him with your melodrama? 'Cause it's killing me!" Samos is also fairly good at it... And when Jak takes his Superpowered Evil Side Level in Badass, he begins dropping his own smart remarks.
- The Flash in Justice League Heroes: The Flash does this almost nonstop, as is his usual trait.
Martian Manhunter: Braniac's ship. Be careful, it's heavily defended.The Flash: Ah, I was wondering what the giant gun turret was for. Thanks for clearing that up.
- Some members of the cast of Katawa Shoujo are this, combining it with Disabled Snarker.
Jigoro: When you look at me, can you not see the catalogue of my experiences even at a glance?Hisao: Uh... maybe. Were you a swordfighter? (narrating) He could also be Hawaiian, and a werewolf.
- Hisao himself is often one in a First-Person Smartass sense
Rin: I thought you had a heart problem, not an eye problem.
- Rin tends to be fairly snarky when she isn't being a Cloud Cuckoolander. When Hisao finds her lying on the school roof and asks what she is doing (given Rin, the reason for her lying on the roof is unlikely to be obvious) he gets this response.
- Shizune tends to be fairly sarcastic, which often goes over the head of her interpreter, Misha. Hisao, on the other hand, notices in her route that he's surprisingly able to detect her sarcasm without hearing her voice.
- While Kid Icarus: Uprising is a World of Snark and most of its characters are capable of dealing out one-liners, the title of "Biggest Snarker in the Game" decidedly goes to Viridi, the Goddess of Nature. Don't be fooled by her eight-year-old appearance. The girl is practically the epitome of dry wit and can deal out snazzy one-liners at the drop of a hat. Pit himself even lampshades that she'll insult him practically every time he opens his mouth.
- Colonel Hakha from Killzone is one of these, providing an excellent foil to Rico's dumbassery.
- For someone so cheerful, Sora can be quite a bit of a snarker in the Kingdom Hearts series, mostly in Kingdom Hearts II. One example is the very first cutscene in Space Paranoids.
Sora: Who're you?Sark: I am Commander Sark.Sora: A "Heartless commander"?Sark: Observe. (tortures Sora's friends in front of him)
Riku: (seeing wooden copies of Mickey, Donald, and Goofy being held by the Beagle Boys) Is that suppose to be Mickey and the others? Yeesh, those three are together, even when they're made out of wood.
- Riku himself even has his moments in Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance
- Several characters in Knights of the Old Republic 2 fit this from time to time. Atton and Kreia are the premier examples, though Mandalore, HK-47, G0-T0, and Mira have been known to fit this trope.
- With the recent new campaign, Crash Course, for Left 4 Dead, tough guy Francis has become a bit of a snarky character. The snark bait is mostly confined to the intro where he tells Louis that they just escaped from a helicopter crash and have to walk the rest of the way and asks him if he still feels positive now.
Francis: (upon seeing zombies) Just pretend they're helicopter pilots!
- Also, his tendency to tease Zoey for having killed the helicopter pilot:
Coach: Shit, I used to go here when I was a kid!
- In the second installment, Nick tends to fill that role, sometimes even falling into this.
Nick: Oh good! Now we can die here as adults.Nick: There goes repopulating the earth. (When Rochelle, the only female in their group, dies)
- Raziel from the Legacy of Kain series is an excellent example of the trope, especially from Soul Reaver 2 on. It's made even better because he speaks in the distinctive style the games are known for.
Raziel: Oh no. Every time you turn up something monumental and terrible happens. I don't think I have the stomach for it.
- In The Legend of Zelda, Tatl from Majora's Mask, Ezlo from The Minish Cap, and Midna from Twilight Princess are all deadpan snarkers, although the latter to a much greater extent than the former two.
- Mokka in Magical Starsign is this.
- Tony Stark lives this trope in his role as one of the main NPCs in Marvel: Avengers Alliance. Nick Fury also gets in on the snarky fun sometimes.
- In Marvel Ultimate Alliance, Spider-Man EPITOMIZES this trope. 25% of his time is being useful, 75% is being an ass to Nick Fury.
Fury: Spider-Man. Didn't expect you to answer my call [for help].
Spider-Man: What? And miss riding on the Helicarrier? This beast has gotta be the biggest waste of tax payer money in history. Hey, you guys have any plans to make a flying Mt. Rushmore? Seriously, that would totally rock.
- Deadpool is a close second, although much of his comments are a bit more on the surreal side.
- If you have them both in the same party, the former deadpan snarks at the latter about finally meeting someone whose jokes are worse than his.
- In Deadpool's solo mission he encounters an evil clone of Spidey. They engage in an epic Snark-Off, until Evil-Spidey's master Arcade gets annoyed and interrupts so they can actually get to the fight.
- The game itself lampshades this when you create a team composed of Spidey, Deadpool, Iceman, and Human Torch. This results in a team bonus titled "Shut Up, Already!"
- Marvel Heroes contains no end of biting witticisms that heroes throw at each other or at downed foes. Though Spidey still dominates the cutscenes.
- The Matrix: Path of Neo has an example in a hungover girl, who Neo rescued in a club. She snarks about Neo's cassock-type robe.
Girl: Should you be running in that dress ?
- Solid Snake of the Metal Gear series, either in his own games or in Super Smash Bros.. Brawl.
Vulcan Raven: You know of the World Eskimo-Indian Olympics?Solid Snake: Yeah, I know it. You must be a real threat in the "Muktuk Eating" contest.
- One suspects that the stewardess from the Microsoft Flight Simulator "FSPassengers" add-on is an actual stewardess saying things she wants to but can't in real life. Paraphrased example: "If the plane comes down, you're dead. Have a nice day."
- Archibald Ironfist, from Might and Magic, tends towards this, though especially in Heroes of Might and Magic II, this sometimes overlaps with gloating.
- Zehir in V took the trope and ran with it, and he has some of the best lines in the game because of this. In the expansions, he's joined by Freyda, Duncan, and Wulfstan, and some of their interactions are rather funny.
- Elaine from Monkey Island, who seems to take after her grandfather.
- This happens a lot among the Earthrealm Warriors in Mortal Kombat 9. For example, there's this dialogue between Johnny Cage and the two Shaolin Monks in Jade's chapter:
Cage: "Lord"? I was with Smoke. I thought she was a bad guy, er, girl. Guess he turned another one. What's Raiden got that I haven't got?Liu Kang: God-like power?Kung Lao: A personality that is not at all like sanding paper?Cage: Jerks.
- Several characters from Neverwinter Nights 2 fulfill this trope, most notably Sand, Bishop (who only does it to wound people) and, sometimes, Neeshka. Though most of the time, Neeshka does it with too much emotion attached to truly fit this trope. It's usually in response to one of the other companions rubbing her the wrong way, after all.
- The Stranger from Terminal Reality's Nocturne claims to have no sense of humor, but still manages to deliver some vicious one-liners to those around him, particularly when he is especially annoyed (i.e. much of the time).
Bobby Jo: Are you married?
Bobby Jo: My daddy says I'm going to make some lucky man very happy some day when I get married.
Stranger: He was probably referring to himself.
- Microsoft representative Don Mattrick did this in an interview about the Xbox One's requirement for a constant internet connection.
Mattrick: "Fortunately we have a product for people who aren't able to get some form of connectivity; itís called Xbox 360."
- He then goes on to say that one of the people who would be the most inconvenienced would be those sailing underwater in a nuclear submarine, where it would be difficult to connect to the internet.
- Ace Attorney:
- The title character of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney is commonly the sole voice of reason in his world of spirit mediums, crazy dominatrix prosecutors, and wacky courtroom hijinks (despite being the cause of half of them). This even continues after he is no longer a lawyer in Apollo Justice; if anything becoming even more snarky as he becomes a bit of a Chess Master.
- At one point in the third game, you get to play as Miles Edgeworth. He's much more of a snarker than Phoenix. In Investigations, where you play as Edgeworth the whole time, he proves to be quite possibly the snarkiest and certainly the most deadpan protagonist in the series.
- Apollo Justice gets in on the act too. "I'm a lawyer. I live for needless procedures."
Apollo: (...........Ack! I've run out of snide comments!)
- Simon Blackquill from Dual Destinies usually combines this with trolling.
Judge: (to director Cosmos) S-so does that mean you're a-a-a-a gh-ghost?!
Blackquill: ... I was wondering when you would realize it, Your Baldness. Director Cosmos is an authentic, bona fide ghost. He can even pass through walls.
- Planescape: Torment:
- Morte, who is such an aggravating snarker that he has a special ability called "litany of curses" that can drive your enemies so crazy with anger they have to attack him in melee. Even if they're a Squishy Wizard.
- Annah seems this way at first, but she's far too easy to fire up. The Nameless One, depending on player choice, but some of his lines are too good to pass up.
- Must.. get...Lawful Good Alignment.. to.. use.. super.. artifact.. weapon.. must.. not.. snark... ARGH..
- The Nameless One actually manages to get a bit of snark into his frequently updated journal, regardless of his alignment, mostly in the form of commenting on the ridiculous quests the party encounters.
- GLaDOS from Portal has a period in the middle of the game as this, before descending into childish insults and general insanity. In the second game, she suffers from intense sarcasm fever almost from the beginning and never recovers.
- Wheatley attempts this during the final battle in Portal 2 but it backfires on him.
- The Prince in Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time uses snarkiness to complement his role as a Loveable Rogue.
- Selvan from Radiant Historia:
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to set my own city on fire."
- Lawrence, the robot butler of Big Bad Dr. Nefarious in Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal. Most of Lawrence's snarkiness is directed at his (largely oblivious) boss, but he manages to get off a few snide remarks at the heroes, as well.
Nefarious: So this is the mighty Q-Force? I could destroy the lot of you and it wouldn't even get mentioned in Supervillain Weekly!
Lawrence: True, sir, but you would have done the fashion world an enormous service.
- Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc: Murphy plays this role in the first level.
- Resident Evil has got many examples of this.
- Rune Factory 3 has Micah and Karina, to some extent. But then again, they live in a village full of Cloud Cuckoolander.
- Zyzyx from Sacrifice, who incidentally is voiced by Rob Paulsen, the same man who voiced Morte above. Amongst the gods, Stratos can also get rather sarcastic, and good ol' boy James displays a surprisingly dry wit at times.
- Ishida Mitsunari in Samurai Warriors, and more so in the spin-off game Warriors Orochi acting as Cao Pi's primary foil.
- While you mostly get ham in Koei's Warriors series, Samurai Warriors gives us Cool Old Guy Shingen Takeda. The man isn't quite deadpan, as he's too cheerful for that, but he's quite generous in ladling out the snark.
Shingen: Have your people contact my people. Maybe we'll stab at each other over tea.
Or, concerning his eternal conflict with Kenshin Uesugi:Kenshin: I am the only one who may slay my Nemesis.
Shingen: Now Kenshin, don't you think I should get some say in who gets to kill me?
Or, facing Tadakatsu Honda:Tadakatsu: It matters not how many people you threw at me. I will fell them all!
Shingen: And what if I threw kittens at you, Tadakatsu, would you fell them too?
And in death:Shingen: This never would have happened...to Sima...Yi...
- The player character trapped on The Secret Island of Dr. Quandary, after getting over the initial Transformation Trauma.
- The amazingly good Interesting NPCs mod for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim brings us Zora Fair-Child, who takes this trope and runs with it. Then throws it out the window. Then smashes it to pieces with a two-handed hammer, grinds it to dust, and throws it down the drain. Seriously, the mod is worth trying simply to go on adventuring with her.
- In The Sims Medieval, the Hero Sim you're playing often has snarky quest dialogue, as does a Royal Advisor if one features in a quest.
- Rouge often slips into this in Sonic Chronicles. It's a pity she's such a Spoony Bard gameplay-wise, since bringing her along to plot related stuff often results in funny. Sonic, too. Any Dialogue Tree option symbolized by a winking Sonic will result in snarking.
- Speaking of Sonic, Eggman of Sonic Colors evolves into this during the announcements made at each ride in the game.
- Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric gives Sonic, Amy and Tails this treatment on occasion.
Knuckles: Whoa... we are definitely not at the beach anymore.
Sonic: You can say that again.
*Knuckles does just that*
Sonic: Should've seen that coming.
Amy: What do you know about a tomb with a giant snake in it?
Cliff: I don't know about no tomb. But I do know about a prison with a giant snake in it.
Amy: *narrows eyes* Yeah, well why don't you tell us about that one?
Lyric: ...Which is why I'm going to rid this world of all organic lifeforms — and rebuild it, piece by robotic piece.
Tails: Somebody needs a hug.
- Gig from Soul Nomad & the World Eaters, who liberally throws around insults and sarcasm directed at you, your team-mates and the world in general whenever he's annoyed, smug, confrontational, or just plain bored (in other words, all of the time, except when he's offering exposition or being incredibly self-aggrandizing).
- The Terror Mask from the remake of Splatterhouse.
- Sam Fisher of Splinter Cell. Despite his age, Sam Fisher is still quick of wit, like when he does interrogations of random mooks.
Sam: Let's play a game. Pick a number between one and ten.Mook with knife to his throat: Uh... ah... three?Sam: Damn, it's your lucky day. You get to live. Now tell me something useful or we'll play again.
Sam: (holding a terrorist by the throat) I'm going inside to meet your friends. Anything I need to worry about?Guard: They have guns.Fisher: I'm shocked and amazed.
- Or this:
Sam: (after smashing a guard's face into a drawer) You're gonna have to pay for sex from now on...
- Or this:
- Falco Lombardi definitely qualifies, especially in Star Fox 64.
- The playable smuggler in Star Wars: The Old Republic, depending on your snarky dialogue choices.
- Some companions qualify (Risha, Akaavi Spar, Kaliyo, Dr. Lokin)
- Jade from Tales of the Abyss is king of this trope. Snarkiness is just his way of showing affection, after all.
Jade: Don't worry, the worst that could happen is we all die.
Jade: Having this many suicidal people around is really getting on my nerves.
Anise: Colonel, you're a terrific liar! Your smile hasn't budged!
Jade: Oh not at all, I'm crying on the inside, wracked with guilt.
- Though not the extent as Jade, Luke has his moments.
- So does Guy, usually when bantering with Jade.
- Emperor Peony manages to go above and beyond, his comments leaving even Jade flustered.
- Lambda in Tales of Graces. This deserves mention because he speaks in nothing more than a Creepy Monotone but we know when he's being snarky.
- Centurion Tenebrae carries on right where Jade left off in Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World.
- Yuri Lowell from Tales of Vesperia has been called Jade 2.0 for a reason...
- Basically any time the characters talk to each other in Team Fortress 2, there's some snark involved. It happens just as much between teammates as it does between enemies.
Sniper: (to enemy Sniper) The bullets come out of the slim end, mate!Medic: (to teammates when defending) Standing near ze point does nothing! Get on ze point, Dummkopf!
- Garrett in Thief.
Garrett: Is this how our arrangement is going to work? You coming up with ways for me to get myself killed?
- Lara Croft from the Tomb Raider franchise has various shades of snark to both enemies and friends alike.
- Dr. Eva Rosalene and Dr. Neil Watts from To the Moon. They're most definitely a snarker team. Here's just a few of their lines:
Eva: Where were you looking, Neil?!
Neil: Well, excuse me for heroically evading that squirrel coming out of nowhere!Neil: HIT IT, TIMMY!!!
(Timmy plays a horrible three notes on the piano)
Neil: ...Wow, that was horrible... But I digress!
Nick: So, did she throw an encyclopedia in your face?
- Nicolas shows some shades of this too:
- Touhou has Patchouli Knowledge. She's generally quiet and not very energetic, but has a sharp tongue and enjoys snarking at friends and foes alike.
- Ange Ushiromiya from Umineko: When They Cry, who's as cynical as they come, and only rarely indulges in anything but flat snarks to the more animated people around her.
- Nathan Drake of Uncharted seems to communicate in snarks. He'll always find a way to be smart-alecky in any situation.
- Flynn: (Throwing a rope down during their heist) Ladies first.Drake: Heh heh, cute.
- In Vampire: The Masquerade Ė Bloodlines Beckett is a prime Deadpan Snarker, although this may be helped by his voice actor reading his every single line in an over-the-top sarcastic tone of voice. Deb, the host for an in-game late-night radio talk show, is an equally good example.
- How about the player character? A good chunk of your lines are bemoaning the suicidal tasks and absolute loonies you have to deal with as a new addition to the World of Darkness.
- A lot of questgivers and Non Player Characters in Warcraft and World of Warcraft. Especially those with 'irritated' quotes if you click on them one too many times. Tirion Fordring is a master of snark, especially in one quest, where you kill a traitor and he says EVERY LINE so seriously that you honestly believe that he is really going to punish you, and then he finishes with "your heroism is budding faster than I thought!"
Hamuul: (Thrall) knew that while he was the leader of the Horde, it was the Horde as a whole that mattered.Garrosh: Does this look like the green skin of Thrall?
- Darion Mograine, when he isn't angsting.
- Hamuul Runetotem, archdruid of the Horde, has become one by Tides of War, often in response to Garrosh's rhetorical questions.
- There's a (very well) hidden easter egg in Wave Race: Blue Storm that replaces your usually Captain Obvious crew chief with a bored guy who spends the entire race snarking at everything you do. Suuuuuuuper.
- Neku Sakuraba in The World Ends with You, especially in Another Day. Joshua as well, though he's a lot less cynical and does it more for the sake of annoying Neku.
- At least one NPC in each Bioware RPG will be of this sort, and the game will occasionally allow the main character to snark it up too.
Sith student: You idiot! Do you have any idea how many Sith there are on Korriban?Bindo: Twelve! No, wait, thirteen!
- Jolee Bindo in Knights of the Old Republic, and was likely the inspiration for Shepard's quote below.
"It's a great honor to have her here, but I could do without the honor of having her kill me."
- Commander Shepard' in Mass Effect has the option to take several of these in both games.
Turian Councilor And how many generations do you think it will take for them to wipe us out?!
Shepard: Three. No, wait! Four!
Wrex: Must be hard for you, Garrus, knowing that the person behind all this death and destruction is a turian Spectre.Garrus: Saren is a traitor and a madman. Taking him down will restore the good name of turians everywhere.Wrex: Glad to hear it. I was losing sleep over the prospect of people not loving the turians.
- Urdnot Wrex delivers his fair share as well.
Garrus: That's unfortunate. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through.Shepard: What is fun to fight through?Garrus: Gardens, electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy.
- Shepard and Wrex are up to their old tricks in Mass Effect 2, but now they're joined by Garrus:
Shepard: I'm not working for [Cerberus], they're working for me.Tali: So you ordered the listening devices and tracking beacons that are all over this ship?
- Liara too in Lair of the Shadow Broker, to the point of Snark-to-Snark Combat with Shepard at times. Doubles as Belligerent Sexual Tension if you pursued her Romance Sidequest in the first game.
- Even Tali gets in on the snarking game in ME2. There's this gem from right after you re-recruit her:
Jack: It's kind of a stupid move to show up your rack in the middle of a maximum security prison ship.Miranda: I never had the pleasure.Jack: You'd never survive. You might break a nail.
- Fittingly, the chats between Garrus and Tali in Mass Effect 3 (provided you did not romance any of them) are almost only made of snark.
- If Thane ever cracks a joke, it tends to be of the snarking variety: "Be still, Mouse. You may change your pants in a moment."
- Joker, in the first game. However, EDI is a superior deadpan snarker in subsequent games. In the future, all deadpan snarking will be performed by artificial intelligences. That was a joke.
- In his cycle, Javik did not need to snark. But now, he does, since he is surrounded by primitives.
- There is also the entire conversation between Miranda and Jack during Citadel which borders on Vitriolic Best Buds - or on Belligerent Sexual Tension if you ask Shepard.
- It is actually faster to list the party members that do not snark at any point, since they are limited to, well, Samara and Legion. Even the list of occasional snarkers is short (Mordin, Jacob, Kaidan). The other ones are frequent offenders.
- There are also many, many smartass NPC's who appear in one or two sidequests and then vanish. Special award for Detective Anaya in 2, who is well aware that she's in a bad situation involving a justicar and some very poorly thought out orders, and seems to be releasing her stress in the form of snarky commentary.
(Sten, when the party walks into a library) "The southern people read? I thought that was a myth."(in combat) "Grey Warden, Darkspawn. Darkspawn, Grey Warden."(upon selecting Morrigan) "Oh, it's you again"
- Almost all of your party members in Dragon Age: Origins have a hint of this, particularly Alistair, Morrigan and Sten. Alistair is extra snarky, while Sten is extra deadpan.
I'm here to deliver bad news and witty one-liners.
- Alastair Lampshades it:
Myaja: May the stone honor you.....Lucjan: ... When you fall.
- Not just the party members, but many of the ancillary characters, as well. Frankly, it'd be faster to list the Dragon Age characters who DON'T fit the trope.
- The main playable character also has potential for this. Depending on how you respond to what people say.
Hawke: Looks like they took him to some bolthole on the Wounded Coast. I wonder if that's near the Injured Cliffs? Or the Limping Hills. The Massive Head-Trauma Bay? (beat) No one? Just me? Forget I said anything.
- One of the changes made for Dragon Age II was the addition of little icons indicating the tone of the main character's response. Not only does this allow Hawke to snark his/her way through the entire game, it also alters Hawke's automatic lines (combat chatter, random quips during banter and so on) to conform with the player-chosen personality.
- Out of the party members for the game, Varric sticks out as the best snarker, though nearly everyone gets a few shots, even Merril!
- Of all beings, the Kraken/Thundering Fists from Sword of the Stars II. His response when you offer the lives of your Zuul to refill his health is a dry "Ah, you generously offer me your crumbs".
- In The Walking Dead, Lilly, Molly, Christa, Carley, and sometimes Larry.
Larry: I've got charm coming out of my ass!Lilly: Yeah that's... Real charming, Dad,