Recap / Star Trek Deep Space Nine S 06 E 10 The Magnificent Ferengi

This Vorta is a real wild one.

Quark is happy to receive a shipment of syrup of squill. He relates to the bar how he managed to acquire this rare ingredient, but he's annoyed to be overshadowed by the arrival of Dax, O'Brien, and Bashir, who have just returned from a dangerous mission as heroes. Quark then receives terrible news: his mother has been kidnapped by the Dominion, and the Grand Nagus has enlisted him to bring her back! It's time for Quark to be a real hero!

Quark enlists Rom, who suggests that they use the 50-bar reward that the Nagus has offered to recruit mercenaries. Quark insists on principle to hire only Ferengi, but they both agree to only split 20 bars of the reward and keep the rest for themselves. First up is Nog, who initially declines but allows himself to be persuaded when Quark says he'll be their strategic operations officer, like Worf. Next is Leck, a Ferengi assassin, who joins for the challenge. Then comes Quark's cousin Gaila, who has fallen on hard times since his arms business collapsed. Then Brunt arrives and volunteers in hopes of reconciling with Zek, offering his ship as an asset.

The six Ferengi train in the holosuite but prove hopeless in a tactical encounter. Rom suggests that they instead play to their strengths and negotiate for Ishka's freedom. All they need to do is find something the Dominion want. With a good word put in from Kira, who owes Quark for rescuing her, they get the captured Vorta Keevan remanded to their custody. The Ferengi and their hostage fly to their selected meeting spot on Empok Nor, where they make preparations to fortify their position and await the Dominon's arrival. Keevan is not happy to be returned to the Dominion, since he was supposed to commit suicide upon capture. When Gaila falls asleep while on guard duty, Keevan makes a break for it, but Quark had already locked out the ship's impulse engines, so he's recaptured.

The Dominion arrives, a full squad of Jem'Hadar with weapons trained on their position. The Ferengi cower in fear until Rom reminds them that they asked the Dominion to come, and this is all part of the plan. Rom, Quark and Nog walk out to negotiate with the Vorta negotiator, Yelgrun. Quark knows how valuable Keevan still is, so he drives a hard bargain, insisting that all the Dominion troops leave except Yelgrun and two bodyguards before the exchange is made. Impressed, Yelgrun agrees. When the trio return, Rom accidentally lets slip that the reward is actually 50 bars, prompting outrage from the mercenary Ferengi. In the ensuing brawl, Keevan gets hit with a phaser blast.

Nog uses some nearby medical equipment to confirm that Keevan has died, but they realize that they can use some scavenged neural stimulators to puppet Keevan's corpse just long enough to make the hostage exchange. Quark stalls for time until Nog is ready. During the hostage exchange, Nog walks Keevan down the hall by remote control as Ishka walks toward them from her side. But Nog accidentally pilots Keevan into a wall and gets him stuck, blowing the illusion. The rest of the Ferengi ambush the distracted Dominion troops, killing both Jem'Hadar and taking Yelgrun captive.

They decide to hand Yelgrun over to Starfleet as payment for Keevan. Before leaving, Rom asks Quark if it feels good to be a hero, and Quark confirms, "You bet it does!" They leave Empok Nor with Keevan still robotically bumping into the wall.

Tropes

• Affably Evil:
  • Although Yelgrun isn't nearly as obsequious as the other Vorta we've seen, he's still quite polite to Ishka.
  • Leck is an Ax-Crazy Blood Knight and is described by Brunt as a psychopath, but he's a pretty jolly fellow, all things considered.
• Air-Vent Passageway: Quark and Rom do a Crawl And Talk through the jefferies tubes, but take a wrong turn and open the hatch in Sisko's office. As they slowly shut the door, you can just see Sisko decide "I do not want to know."
• Analogy Backfire: Quark brings up a battle that the Ferengi fought in as part of his Rousing Speech, and Gaila points out that the Ferengi in that battle got their asses kicked. Then again, it could be their version of the Alamo.
• Answer Cut:
  Quark: Now, the only question is, who's our first recruit?
  (cut to...)
  Nog: Not me.
• Arson, Murder, and Admiration: Leck's summation of the mission:
  Leck: This is the sloppiest, most amateurish operation I've ever seen... If you ever do something like this again, count me in.
• Asshole Victim: Let's face it, nobody liked Keevan.
• A-Team Firing: The Ferengi are absolutely terrible shots during their holosuite training (other than Leck, who decides to Mercy Kill the hostage after the others all get themselves shot). Brunt suggests something easier, like ambushing some Bolians. Nog replies "You couldn't ambush a Bolian if he was blindfolded and tied to a tree!" The first time any of them actually hits something is when Gaila shoots Keevan, and even then, he was aiming at Quark.
• Badass Boast: Kira warns Quark to not turn his back on Keevan, as he's not to be trusted. Quark's response is "Neither am I."
• Beware the Silly Ones: Rom is the only Ferengi other than Leck to get a deliberate kill during the mission, managing to gun down a Jem'Hadar.
• Black Comedy: No other way to describe Keevan's corpse being driven around. And left to endlessly walk into the wall.
• Blood Knight: Leck is enticed to join the mission by the possibility of testing his talents against the Dominion.
• Call-Back: The devices Nog uses to pilot Keevan's corpse around are explicitly the same technology McCoy once used to pilot Spock's body around when his brain was temporarily stolen by aliens. McCoy was apparently a much better driver than Nog, though.
• Captain Obvious: Nog's tricorder confirms that the Vorta with a smoking hole in his heart is dead.
  Quark: Thank you, Doctor Nog.
• Chekhov's Gun: The still-functional medical equipment, which Nog uses on Keevan's corpse.
• Cold-Blooded Torture: Keevan predicts that the Dominion will condemn him to a very painful death for his failure to commit suicide.
• Comically Missing the Point: After Nog cuts Ishka's hand to see if she's a changeling, and Ishka administers her own "test" by slapping him repeatedly on the forehead:
  Rom: That's no way to tell if he's a changeling!
• Continuity Nod:
  • The return of both Empok Nor and Keevan.
  • Every one of the Ferengi has shown up in past episodes, with Gaila and Brunt shown as having paid the price for their actions in their previous appearances (though Leck, who only was momentarily seen in "Ferengi Love Songs" and indicated in a deleted line to be an oyster farmer, is now retconned into being an assassin for hire).
  • The way Keevan's body gets remote-controlled is somewhat similar to what was done with Spock in the infamous TOS episode "Spock's Brain."
• Crazy-Prepared: Upon arriving at Empok Nor, Quark anticipated that Keevan would get away. So, he has Rom disable their ship's engines to ensure Keevan couldn't use it to escape. Keevan is naturally puzzled as to why Quark even bothered to chase him, and Quark points out that Rom is a screw up.
• Curb-Stomp Battle: The Battle of Prexnak, the "most important battle in Ferengi history." Ten Ferengi stood alone against 273 heavily armed Lytasians... and were promptly slaughtered.
• Deadpan Snarker: Sisko's completely nonchalant reaction to Quark and Rom popping out of a hatch in his office.
  Sisko: May I help you, gentlemen?
  Rom: [To Quark] I was following you!
  Quark: We must have taken a wrong turn.
  Sisko: It looks that way.
• Did You Just Scam Cthulhu?: After Keevan got shot, Quark had to change his plans on the fly. As a result, Ishka is rescued, Starfleet gets a new Vorta prisoner and the Dominion are left empty-handed.
• Dirty Coward:
  • Brunt tries to surrender to the Jem'Hadar in the training simulation. He's promptly blasted. Also Gaila, who runs away when the Jem'Hadar start shooting in the same simulation.
  • We find out here that Vorta are supposed to commit suicide in order to prevent themselves from being taken prisoner, which Keevan declined to carry out, in favour of spending the rest of the war in a Federation detention facility. Despite being sent to bring in Keevan for failing to follow this policy, Yelgrun also fails to kill himself when he's captured.
    • Though depending on how they would commit suicide, Yelgrun may not have had chance before being caught, whereas Keevan definitely had the chance and just didnt.
• Don't Call Me "Sir": Played With:
  Leck: How can we be sure these schematics are accurate?
  Nog: Sir!
  Leck: No need to stand on formalities here. Just call me Leck.
  Nog: No, I meant you should call me "sir."
  Leck: Don't be ridiculous.
  Nog: You mean, "Don't be ridiculous, sir."
  (Quark moves to prevent an altercation)
  Quark: Gentlemen, please! Let's not squabble. We're a team, Nog.
  Rom: "We're a team, sir!"
  Quark: Stay out of this.
• Dying Declaration of Hate: "I hate Ferengi."
• Enemy Mine: There's no love lost between Brunt and Quark, but Brunt wants in on the mission to get back into the Nagus' good graces, and Quark has to let him join because Brunt is the only one of the Ferengi with access to a ship.
• Epic Fail: The simulated mission: Quark is quickly shot by the Jem'Hadar, Rom panics and runs into a cliff wall, Gaila runs away screaming (and probably gets shot doing so), Brunt tries to surrender (and is shot anyway), and Leck shoots Ishka (the hostage they were trying to rescue to begin with), and this was their eighth attempt to complete it. Small wonder that Quark rethinks his approach after that.
• "Eureka!" Moment: After multiple failed rescue simulations, Quark reminisces with Rom about an Offscreen Moment of Awesome involving a business negotiation, and then Rom realizes...
  Rom: Brother, I think we've been going about this the wrong way. We're not commandos; we're negotiators. We make deals. That's what we're good at. The Dominion has something we want, so we need to find something they want...
  Quark: And then we make a trade! That way, everyone goes home happy.
  Rom: Happy and alive.
• Even Evil Has Standards: Yelgrun is horrified at (the deceased) Keevan's state, believing it to be the result of torture, even though the Dominion already planned an unpleasant and drawn-out fate for him.
• Everyone Has Standards:
  • Leck may not care about latinum, but he's still angered on principle when he finds out that Quark is cheating his fellow Ferengi. He also hates Liquidators, like any Ferengi. And he doesn't trust the Dominion.
  • Brunt is an all-round Jerkass and is dismissive of the team Quark assembles, but he is outright disturbed by Leck, calling him a psychopath.
• Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Granted the Ferengi don't altogether toe the line on "good", but Yelgrun takes way longer than he should to figure out what's going on with Keevan, assuming that Keevan is dazed and injured and can barely walk due to torture - because it's what the Dominion would have done to a prisoner in a similar situation.
  Yelgrun: What have they done to him?
• Foreshadowing: After Keevan questions Quark on why he bothered running after him despite knowing that Rom had disabled the ship's engines, Quark says that Rom's prone to making screw-ups. Screw ups like, say, blabbering about how the reward is actually two-and-a-half times what Quark originally claimed it to be, right in front of all the other Ferengi.
• Friendly Enemy: Yelgrun and Ishka seem to have worked up quite the rapport. She even offers him some investment advice.
  Ishka: You see? A diversified financial portfolio can mean greater profits and healthier looking skin.
  Yelgrun: Fascinating. I'd love to hear more, but if your son doesn't show up soon, I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you.
• Get Out!: Quark after a round of failed simulator missions.
• Good Feels Good: The episode's final lines.
  Rom: How does it feel, brother, being a hero?
  Quark: You tell me.
  Rom: (brow furrows) It feels... good?
  Quark: (grins) You bet it does!
• Home Field Advantage: Quark picks Empok Nor as the meeting place for the exchange because it's identical to DS9 and so they'll at least be familiar with the layout.
• I Just Shot Marvin in the Face: Poor Keevan...
• I'm a Doctor, Not a Placeholder: Rom's "Eureka!" Moment.
  "Brother...I think we've been going about this the wrong way. We're not commandos. We're negotiators. We make deals. That's what we're good at."
  • Gaila gets into the act:
    "I'm a weapons dealer, not a soldier!"
• I Owe You My Life: Kira helps Quark set up the Prisoner Exchange as repayment for him rescuing her from the Dominion.
• Internal Reveal: Rom discovers how his mother and the Nagus are lovers. He doesn't take it well.
• I Work Alone: Leck says this word-for-word.
• Jerkass Has a Point: Brunt mocks Quark's team upon seeing them and, in particular, is disturbed by Leck, calling him a psychopath. Given the blunders the team makes in practice, he has a point, and his comments about Leck prove to be on point, given that in one of the practice simulations, he shoots Ishka.
• Karma Houdini Warranty: People who have seen "Rocks And Shoals" will be pleased at seeing Keevan taken hostage, killed by complete accident, having his corpse turned into a puppet and left continuously walking into a support beam.
• Knows a Guy Who Knows a Guy: Quark speaks of doing "business with the nephew of the cousin of the stepsister of a friend of the secretary to the [Balcanar] Consortium's chief accountant."
• Little "No": This is Rom's horrified reaction when Quark finally tells him that Ishka and Zek are lovers.
• Mad Scientist: Nog, when he uses neural stimulators to make Keevan's corpse move (sort of).
  Nog: If you think about it, medicine isn't that different from engineering. It's all about keeping things running, fixing broken parts.
• The Magnificent Seven Samurai: There are six Ferengi rescuers, plus their hostage Keevan. Ultimately Ishka makes a seventh Ferengi.
• Major Injury Underreaction: Keevan just looks down at the smoldering hole in his chest and bitterly mutters "I hate Ferengi" before keeling over dead.
• Mandatory Line: Most of the main cast, except Worf (who doesn't appear) and Quark, who's the main character of the story.
• Mass "Oh, Crap!": When Gaila shoots Keevan.
• Mercy Kill: When the simulated mission fails, Leck shoots Ishka instead of the Jem'Hadar. Afterward, he argues that the mission was already doomed, so he provided Ishka a quick death.
• The Millstone: Not that any of the Ferengi (barring Leck) are especially at home to begin with, but Gaila easily stands out as the worst of the group, firstly when he lets Keevan escape, and secondly when he accidentally blows a hole in Keevan's chest, killing their all-important hostage.
• Of Corpse He's Alive: After Gaila kills their hostage, Nog stumbles on the idea of reanimating Keevan's body with neural stimulators, using it as a puppet in the hopes of carrying out the prisoner exchange. Despite Keevan's corpse shambling like a zombie, it works well enough until the stimulators malfunction and leave Keevan's body walking into a bulkhead over and over.
• Offscreen Moment of Awesome: The mission that the Defiant went on before the episode starts.
• Oh, Crap!:
  • All the Ferengi during Keevan's escape attempt. Then Nog when he sees dozens of Jem'Hadar on the station. Then all the Ferengi again◊ when Gaila shoots Keevan.
  Leck: You idiot.
  • Played for laughs when the Dominion arrive at the station. It takes a minute for the team to remember that they invited them, and that it just means everything is according to plan.
• Only in It for the Money: Of course, this is seen as a positive thing by Quark:
  Brunt: Let's do it for equal shares of fifty bars of gold-pressed latinum!
  Quark: It always comes down to profit with you people, doesn't it?
  Gaila: We're Ferengi.
  Quark: And that's why I love you!
• Only Sane Man: Insomuch as there is one among the Ferengi team, it's Nog. Quark is out to scam the others, Rom is prone to panicking and making mistakes, Brunt and Gaila are only in it for the money and ready to take revenge on Quark if the chance presents itself, and Leck, while definitely the most competent of the Ferengi there, is Ax-Crazy.
• On Three: When Quark and Yelgrun release Keevan (at least, his reanimated corpse) and Ishka, respectively.
• Palm Bloodletting: Nog does this to Ishka to prove that she's not a changeling. She is not happy about it.
• Parrot Exposition: Rom does this several times when Quark explains the situation to him.
• Phrase Catcher: Defied. Keevan's last words are "I hate Ferengi" after he is accidentally shot by one. Yelgrun, as he is taken prisoner, glares at Quark and says: "Ferengi...", to which Quark replies, calmly and smiling: "I know, I know. You hate us".
• Pint-Sized Powerhouse: Leck and Nog are by far the two shortest Ferengi in the team, and are also the only two Ferengi on the team with any legitimate combat skills.
• Pragmatic Villainy: Yelgrun is convinced not to just have the Jem'Hadar swarm in and kill the Ferengi by the fact that he needs to recover Keevan alive to find out what information he might have provided to the Federation.
• Prisoner Exchange: What Quark and his team go with when it becomes clear that they can't carry out an armed rescue.
• Psycho for Hire: Leck, and by extension all "Eliminators" in the Ferengi Alliance, are thought of this way. The Ferengi see assassination as merely the loss of potential customers, never mind that Eliminators enjoy the kill more than the profit.
• Ragtag Bunch of Misfits: Brunt sums it up nicely.
  Brunt: A child^note Nog, a moron^note Rom, a failure^note Gaila and a psychopath^note Leck. Quite a little team you've put together!
• Rock Bottom: Gaila, once a wealthy Arms Dealer, has been arrested for vagrancy. Although this is Quark's fault, he has no qualms about working for him to earn more latinum.
• Rousing Speech: Quark starts one for the other Ferengi when it looks like all is lost. Leck joins in.
• Sarcastic Clapping: Brunt, when he first shows up.
• Saying Too Much: As they celebrate the deal going off without a hitch, Rom lets it slip that the Grand Nagus offered a 50-bar reward for Ishka's recovery, not the 20 that Quark sold the others on.
• Screams Like a Little Girl: Brunt, as evidenced when Gaila tries to shoot Quark (but hits Keevan instead).
• Seen It All: After nearly 6 years of commanding DS9 and dealing with the weirder aspects and denizens of the Bajor Sector, Sisko is not in the least bit fazed when Quark and Rom suddenly and accidentally pop out of a hatch in his office.
• Sequel Episode: A loose one to multiple episodes/threads from Season 5 and early Season 6:
  • "Business as Usual": Gaila's fate after Quark sabotaged the weapons deal.
  • "Ferengi Love Songs": Ishka having become Zek's paramour and Brunt being fired from the FCA.
  • "Rocks and Shoals": Keevan's fate after becoming a POW.
• Shoot the Hostage: Leck shoots Ishka during a Virtual Training Simulation, much to Nog's annoyance. He considers it a Mercy Kill.
• Shout-Out: The episode includes many homages to The Magnificent Seven, starting with the title.
• Skewed Priorities: By Ferengi standards; Leck is one of the few Ferengi who cares little for latinum, joining in the mission for the opportunity to test himself against the Jem'Hadar. However, he still doesn't like to be cheated.
• Smug Snake: Brunt's in rare form, dismissing each member of Quark's team when he doesn't even currently have a job.
• So Proud of You
  • Rom. "My son, the soldier."
  • Ishka is proud of her sons.
• Spotting the Thread: In his story about how he got his hands on some syrup of squill, Quark figured out that the drought on Balancar was a lie when he heard that an accountant bought himself some rain slippers — which he wouldn't need during a drought.
• Stating the Simple Solution: After all their rescue simulations have ended in complete disaster, Rom asks why they don't just ransom Ishka.
• Status Quo Is God: Given the outcome, and the opening where Odo points out that Quark will never be lauded as a hero, Quark pulled off a result worthy of a brilliant mastermind. Everyone treats him like a money-grubbing coward from here on out... which is now only half-true.
• The Strategist: Nog.
  Nog: I'm a Starfleet officer. I can't go running off with you on some half baked rescue mission. I have duties to perform.
  Rom: But you know how to fire a phaser.
  Quark: Forget it, Rom. Don't beg. Too bad, though. We were going to make you Strategic Operations Officer.
  Nog: (suddenly interested) You mean like Commander Worf?
  Quark: Exactly like Commander Worf. Think of it, Nog. You'll devise the tactics, come up with a plan of action...
• Suicide Mission: Keevan believes the exchange to be one for the Ferengi, advising them to send final messages to their loved ones and ensure their wills are in order.
  Keevan: I'll advise you all to send final messages to your loved ones and make sure your wills are in order.
  Rom: Why?
  Keevan: Because the moment we leave this station, you'll have signed your death warrants.
• Surrounded by Idiots: How Nog feels about being with the other misfits, especially after a botched simulation.
  Rom: I think we're getting better.
  Nog: No, you're not. This is the eighth run through and you haven't been able to hit a single Jem'Hadar. (to Leck) And you shot Moogie!
  Leck: I saw we weren't going to rescue her so I put her out of her misery.
  Gaila: Who invited him along?
  Brunt: Maybe we should start off with something easier.
  Nog: Like what?
  Brunt: Like ambushing a couple of Bolians.
  Nog: You couldn't ambush a Bolian if he was blindfolded and tied to a tree!
• Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: None of the Ferengi want to work with Brunt, but they're forced to bring him along because he's the only one with a ship.
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Keevan, naturally. Every time he opens his mouth.
• There's No Kill like Overkill: Yelgrun brought dozens of Jem'Hadar to what was meant to be simple prisoner exchange.
• Too Dumb to Live: Gaila is ridiculously careless with the vitally important prisoner; first, he falls asleep while guarding Keevan, who nearly escapes, and later, he accidentally shoots and kills Keevan while trying to kill Quark in a fit of rage.
• The Triple: Rom saying "No" in surprise to what Quark tells him about Ishka and the Nagus (and rising in pitch each time):
  Quark: They're lovers.
  Rom: No...
  Quark: It's been going on for over a year now.
  Rom: No...
  Quark: She's his secret financial advisor. She helps him run the entire Ferengi Alliance.
  Rom: No...
  Quark: Would you quit saying that?
• Undignified Death: Keevan is shot dead by complete accident, and after his death, the Ferengi rig up his body to keep moving and eventually leave it walking into the same bulkhead over and over.
• Virtual Training Simulation: The Ferengi use Quark's holosuite to train for the upcoming operation.
• What Happened to the Mouse?: Keevan's corpse. By the time Dukat is seen living in Empok Nor in "Covenant", Keevan is long gone and Dukat apparently thinks a Vorta's body endlessly walking into a bulkhead isn't interesting enough to mention to Kira.
• Worthy Opponent: Yelgrun genuinely respects Ferengi cunning and hopes that they can one day join the Dominion.
• Wrong Turn at Albuquerque: While crawling through the station's jefferies tubes, Quark and Rom accidentally pop out in Sisko's office instead of the main hallways they're looking for.
• You Have Failed Me: For failing to commit suicide upon capture, Keevan predicts (and Yelgrun confirms) that a most unpleasant reception awaits him upon his return to Dominion custody.