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This is Magilou. Half the entries here involve her, and with good reason.

This may be the darkest Tales game yet, but that doesn't stop it from having some damn hysterical moments.

WARNING: Per wiki policy, Spoilers Off applies to Funny Moments pages.

Main Story/NPC Chat

  • There is a series of sub quests that has the party confess their sins to a priest they encounter in various churches throughout the game. The confessions are all very funny.
    Priest: Come, sinner, and repent your wicked deeds!
    • Velvet notices the priest is taking a gander at her chest and, offended, decides to go the Exact Words route and lists all the terrible things she's done by that point in the game.
      Velvet: Empyreans, hear my confession. When I was in prison, I instigated a riot and used it to break myself out.
      Priest: Huh...?!
      Velvet: Then I set fire to some warehouses in town and stole a ship to make my getaway. Then I teamed up with some pirates to destroy a military fortress. I killed anyone who got in my way.
      Priest: What?!
      Velvet: What do you think, Father? Will the Empyreans will forgive me?
      Priest: I, er... ah... I think you should turn yourself in to the Abbey, and let them help you repent...
      Velvet: That's convenient! I'm already planning on going to the Abbey. You see, I'm going to kill their boss, Artorius.
      Priest: I-I need an exorcist over here, quick! Somebody! Anybody!
      Velvet: That's... about how I figured it'd go.
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    • Magilou flirts with him by reciting lines from a romance novel just to get a reaction out of him.
      Magilou: It is you who has captured my devotion, my darling!
      Priest: What?! M-M-Me?! But... My life is in service to the Empyreans. I—
      Magilou: Hush! I want you to look at me the way I look at you! Hold me, darling! Smother me in your embrace!
      Priest: Uh... I don't... I... I...!
      Magilou: Those were the kind of lines I read in a romance novel. It wasn't even that exciting a book. I wasted so many hours with that piece of trash. Please forgive me for not putting myself to better use.
      Priest: Aaaagh! Lying... to a priest! How could you?
      Magilou: Oh no! I meant to confess my sins, but instead my confession was another sin! Forgive me, Father! I've transgressed once more!
      Priest: Urgh... I don't want to forgive you!
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    • Rokurou misinterprets everything the priest is saying and doesn't seem to think he's committed any sins. He ends by telling the priest that he ought to be clearer if he wants people to listen to him.
      Rokurou: It's a priest's job to guide the laymen, right? You'll have to start speaking more clearly if you want anyone to trust your advice. Get your act together, man!
      Priest: Y-Yes... I'll reflect upon the error of my ways...
    • Eizen intimidates the priest into hearing out his entire long-winded confession, and it simply turns out that he once stole 100 gald from his sister's savings to buy a painting.
      Eizen: The truth is... when I saw that painting, I didn't have enough money on me. So I... swiped 100 gald from my little sister's hidden savings. That's... the one part I wish I'd done differently.
      Priest: (nervously) Haha, I see...
    • In tears, Laphicet confesses about his weird experiments on insects (i.e. accidentally sprinkling sugar on a slug and pouring sugar water down an ant hill to see what would happen) and the priest is left mildly disturbed by his morbid curiosity.
      Laphicet: I'm so sorry, slug... You didn't deserve that... I'm sorry to you too, ants.
      Priest: Kids can sure be weirdly cruel sometimes...
    • The priest tries to turn Eleanor away because she's an exorcist, but she presses on and confesses so wholeheartedly that by the end he's so moved he starts crying and trying to confess to her instead.
      Priest: Please, lady exorcist, listen to my confession, for I have much to repent!
      Eleanor: Huh?! Father, why are you crying?!
    • Bienfu gets in on the act too. At this point, the priest is whispering "because everyone else in your group has been nothing but trouble" and he wonders just what kind of place they think this is. Bienfu tells him he'll have to take it up with them, but he says they'll beat the stuffing out of him. Bienfu says he wishes he could tell him that they're all good people, but... So the priest says that he needs to confess something, that he just for once wants to hear a legitimate confession... or he'll curse him! So first Bienfu tries asking the priest to forgive his companions, but when he won't, Bienfu says he should repent for being a "petty mean old priest."
  • When questioned by guards as they enter Loegres, Magilou instantly introduces them as "Magilou's Menagerie," a group of traveling magicians, with Velvet as her assistant. Velvet catches on quick and plays along, even trying miserably to impersonate a dove. Magilou doesn't let Velvet forget it.
    Magilou: Act. Like. A. Dove!
    Velvet: (gives Magilou a Death Glare, then turns back to the guard) Coo, coo. (blushes and facepalms out of embarrassment)
  • Right after the first fight with Eleanor, she decides to send out another malak as the last resort. Said malak turns out to be... a cute-and-cuddly-looking normin named Bienfu, whom Laphicet instantly finds adorable. Then Bienfu sees Magilou, panics, and immediately retreats inside Eleanor. The sequence ends with the party fleeing the scene with Rokurou doing the Over-the-Shoulder Carry to Magilou, while Eleanor demands Bienfu to get back out there and fight.
  • The party encounters a suspicious-looking individual. Said guy turns out to be just a simple bandit, who was already scared out of his wits earlier by an armored daemon, and got agitated even further when encountered by the party. After some convincing, especially from Eleanor, he decides to go straight. He can be seen later in Port Cadnix, vowing to lead an honest life and asking Eleanor out. The next time he's seen, he's opened a bandit-themed restaurant in Loegres, and outright proposes to her. Eleanor's response amounts to "Good luck with your restaurant!"
  • When the party first reaches Reneed, there's an NPC conversation where an elderly man and his son argue about their ways of life. Eleanor earnestly supports the father, who proceeds to compliment her and ask her to marry his son, much to her embarrassment. Much later in the game, the pair can be seen again, having finally resolved their differences. The father takes this opportunity to ask Eleanor to marry his son yet again, which she promptly rejects. He tries to ask Velvet instead, but only gets intimidated by her. Magilou chimes in but gets ignored.
  • The group encounters Grimoirh, who proves uninterested in helping them, offering only deadpan answers to their questions (and threats, in Velvet's case). That is, until Rokurou makes the mistake of asking how old she is.
    Grimoirh: [angry] Ask me again and you'll get a firework in the tush.
    Rokurou: [bows] Yes ma'am.
  • In Haria, a boy tells the group that he always wanted to sell chocogels, and the grown ups look down on it. He even mentions that he's spreading word of his product by hiding them in toilets, as a reference to a gag in which gels may be found in toilets by your average Tales protagonist. Given that these gels are made of chocolate, you may never see this gag the same way again.
    Rokurou: So if you made an innovative new type of gel, why are you so angry?
    Insistent Boy: That's exactly my problem... I out did myself! Now I need to make my gels world debut as amazing as they are!
    Insistent Boy: So I thought up the ultimate plan...
    Laphicet: And that is?
    Insistent Boy: I'll put my choconito gels in toilets all over the world! I call it... "The Great Choconito Toilet Gambit!"
    Insistent Boy: No one will go to the bathroom without finding my gels! I think everyone will have a lot of fun! So? Genius, right?!
    Laphicet: Ha ha... Yeah! It's weird, but I think it's funny, too.
    Insistent Boy: Right?! I knew that kids would get it!
  • The group encounters a earthpulse point, but it's located underneath the water. Luckily, Eizen has just the thing to find a therion, should there be one: a fishing rod. The entire party gives him deadpan looks as he goes on a rant about how awesome it is. When they try fishing there, before catching actual fish or a therion, they get these, which Laphicet tries on:
    • A pair of horns
    • A pair of crazy glasses
    • A fake mustache
  • Before heading off to Midgand, the group found a fancy letter, written in good handwriting and poetry by Uzfmiwuw Uexuv. Turns out that letter actually belongs to Eizen which is supposed to be for his sister Edna and it was supposed to be attached to the pot that they found earlier via Turtle Express. The moment Velvet asks him about the letter, Eizen quickly snatches it away even asking them if they have read it. Rokurou ensures him they didn't read it... much. However when both Rokurou and Laphicet were left alone, they talk about how good Eizen's penmanship and wondering who he is sending it too... while they're still in Eizen's earshot. The scene ends where the screen goes black and a sound of Eizen beating their heads.
  • After dealing with the Headless Horseman in Titania, there is a conversation between Rokurou and Velvet, with the former really drunk. He starts going on how all the acts they have done and Velvet responds in a casual manner since she stopped counting. The best part is that he offers her a drink, but she denies because she is underaged.
    • Let that sink in. Velvet is fine with murder, arson, disruption of the peace, theft, and kidnapping, but when asked if she wants to drink, she suddenly has the morals to say she can't because she's nineteen.
  • Late in the game, the team takes down a daemon attacking a town in full public view. Seeing an opportunity to draw out the remaining two Legates for the needed sacrifice, Velvet devours the creature and tells the public that the Lord of Calamity is here, to ensure that her enemies hear of it and come running to stop her. While doing so, Velvet is hamming it up to play the villain. This is amusing on its own, but once the scared villagers start running in a panic, Magilou throws herself into the act.
    • Which causes Velvet to smack Magilou over the head and say that there would be no sucking of marrow, since 'her sister taught her proper table manners.'
    • While it does succeed, witnesses start describing Magilou instead of Velvet (the only thing they get accurate is the demon arm).
    • In fact, descriptions of the 'Lord of Calamity' heard from civilians all tend to be funny in how grossly inaccurate they are. Explains why said Lord can walk around a city without inciting a panic.
    Village Woman in Haria: (to Velvet, when you chat with her) There's a fearsome daemon known as the Lord of Calamity performing all manner of wicked deeds. Stay safe in your travels.
  • A dedicated Teresa fanboy can be found in Hellawes, and another one in Yseult. Both are hopelessly attracted to Teresa's "icy cold" looks.
    • At the end of the game, after the party has killed Teresa, you can speak with the one in Hellawes again and Eleanor tells him that Teresa won't be coming back and not to rely on her, and he says that he's fallen for her icy cold stare and he loves both her and Teresa.
  • A few scenes at one point in which Magilou supposedly talks to dogs. What makes it really funny is that it's never conclusively established whether the stuff she claims the dogs are saying (such as that dogs are man's best friend and yet man still consorts with vile cats, or a dog complaining about the untruth of the saying "every dog has its day") they actually did say, or whether she's just having the party on.
  • The party encounters a dancer known as "Majelu," leading Magilou to say that what everyone wants to really see is Magilou's Menagerie and then getting upset about this "con-artist" when nobody cares. Velvet points out that this Majelu can't be ripping off their act, seeing as they don't actually perform anything. Meanwhile, the whole time, Eleanor is having a Fangirl reaction at getting to meet Majelu.
  • At one point, Velvet passes by Dyle and Kurogane inside Titania... who then enter a little skit-format where they talk about all their tasks. They bitch about how much work they have to do and how people always go to them, and both Dyle and Kurogane cannot comprehend each others' figures of speech about getting in peoples' faces or riding on tails, and reminding each other "I don't have a face/tail!"
    Dyle: But I've been too nice, so they keep pushing work onto me Maybe if I hadn't been so helpful, they would've stayed out of my face like they stay out of yours.
    Kurogane: I. DON'T. HAVE. A. FACE.note 
    Dyle: That's not the point! Aren't you even listening to what I'm saying here?!
    Dyle: You need to make up your mind.
    Kurogane: You and I got on this ship alongside these people who are putting themselves in great danger in order to live the lives of their choosing.
    Kurogane: If you don't like it, then go on and get off this ship with your tail between your legs.
    Dyle: Yeah, except I don't have a tail right now.
    • For added hilarity at one point during the conversation Kurogane blushes except he doesn't have a head so we see blushing armour.
  • Throughout the game, the party encounters a traveling Turtlez merchant. At first, he plans to price-gouge them, until Velvet threatens to devour him, at which point he charges them the same rates as any other shop in the game. When Eleanor joins the party, she is at first shocked at how the party is treating him, until she cottons on to just what he's trying to do and is instead shocked at his unethical behavior for trying to price-gouge.
  • When Innominat awakens in Titania, they get attacked by Velvet and replies "Ow" in a Creepy Monotone. Of course, the rest of the scene is downright creepy.
  • After the party tries to take on a dragon, they discuss it and its connection to Zaveid, with Magilou referring to him as "ol' check-out-my-pecs."
  • How does Velvet, the feared Lord of Calamity, respond any time anyone offers her a drink of the hard stuff? (Rokurou is a notable offender.) She says that she's not legally old enough. Which is true, but given the stuff that the Abbey wants her for, anyone going after her for that would truly need to check their priorities, as they would truly be going after the "jaywalking" aspect of Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking.
  • The party waits for Grimoirh and Laphicet to translate the old book about Innominat in Haria. Eizen explains it might take a while since the ancient Avarost language is difficult to decipher since you have you intuit a lot. Velvet's response:
    Velvet: (complete deadpan) A language based on guesswork? Thanks, old dead people, you're officially the worst.


  • The party's "are you fucking kidding me" faces, especially Velvet's.
  • Rokurou making Laphicet's stomach growl every time he says "mabo curry".
  • During the last quest for the Bloodwing Butterflies to kill a corrupt priest, the party has to go through the sewers to the temple. While there, Magilou spins a fanciful tale about how mabo curry is actually made from the corpses of criminals, which makes Laphicet freak out. Eizen and Rokurou give Magilou Death Glares, and she admits she made it up... But then tries to say that mabo curry is made with crocodile meat instead. Having had enough of her lip, Velvet smacks Magilou so hard that she goes flying offscreen, complete with a cartoony sound effect.
  • "Laphicet's Book" focused on Laphicet's love of reading. It was also revealed that Bienfu is fond of reading, too, and Bienfu tries to share his book collection with Laphicet... all of them being about being a Covert Pervert regarding a male Malak's choice towards women. Both Eleanor and Velvet get disgusted and reprimand Bienfu about it. Then another skit continues elaborating on this, with more book choices.
  • Eleanor getting into a very long monologue about the power of Velvet's claw. Somehow, this gets derailed into commenting about Velvet's atrocious choice in torn clothing (especially the big top Eleanor surmises belonged to a man) and settling into sewing her clothes when she gets the chance. During her whole monologue, everyone else walks by, showing deadpan looks at her.
  • Bienfu complaining that the Reaper's Curse was what tore him away from Eleanor to Magilou's side. What's funny is he says he misses the days he used to blow her tears away, which she vehemently denies. A few jabs from Magilou later, Eleanor gets disgusted by Bienfu and comments she's better off having Laphicet as her Malak. While Bienfu cries away, there's a glaring moment of silence as a deadpan Velvet stares at a silent Eleanor...and the latter drags Laphicet away from Eleanor, saying he's not going to blow her tears away, much to Eleanor's chagrin.
  • Laphicet warning Eleanor about the Reaper's Curse. Bienfu warns her that it's the real deal, saying that 4 ships chasing the Van Eltia suddenly disappeared, a whole port got affected by daemonblight, and a man who bumped into Eizen's shoulder started laughing and died from suffocation. Eizen is quick to correct Bienfu from those lies...and says it was actually 7 ships that got lost, not just the port but the whole island got affected by daemonblight, and the man who bumped his shoulder caught hiccups and died from suffocation.
  • One skit has Magilou mention to Eleanor how Eizen's coin is his vessel, and how a malak's powers can affect physical objects and can even synchronize with their wavelengths. Eleanor wonders if it's the same with Laphicet and the compass he carries around. Eizen says that's part of it, but it is kind of a proof of his manhood. The skit then cuts to Laphicet polishing the compass while singing cheerfully.
    Laphicet: Must polish you, so you don't rust! Hm-hm-hm-hm...
  • Eizen shows his coin to Eleanor and tries to regale her with its history as he did with everyone else. Cue Eleanor geeking out over his coin, cutting off all his attempts at explaining in her excitement, and actually giving him more information about it that he didn't know. At first, he denies a bit of misinformation he said to the others, but then mutters to himself about the correction.
  • After Eleanor drinks the sale'tomah and complains about its taste, Magilou notes that at least Eleanor can tell what tastes bad or good unlike Velvet, who can't taste anything other than blood. Velvet grins and then notes that she's "aware of one other flavor" and promptly inflicts retribution on Magilou by forcing her to take the sale'tomah as well. All with a smile on her face. The kicker is as Magilou collapses, Laphicet smiles cheerfully.
    Eleanor: I-I see. The sweet taste of another's suffering.
    • Also, according to Eleanor, it is tradition for Abbey initiates to drink sale'tomah as part of their welcoming festivities, which means that, yes, people like Oscar and Teresa probably did the same thing. Now picture a group of senior exorcists cheering them and several other new recruits on as they drink sale'tomah and promptly gag at the revolting taste.
    • And don't forget that Magilou is a former Legate so this may have already happened to her which makes the above scene more hilarious.
  • Laphicet adopts a special kind of bug and tries to find out which species it belongs to. This gets both Rokurou and Eizen into an argument about the bug's species, with Rokurou saying it's a stag beetle and Eizen saying it's a rhinoceros. As the argument keeps on going, the girls comment why boys have to love bugs so much. The discussion goes on in later skits, while Phi decides to temporarily refer to it as a "rhinotagros", a new species. Bienfu decides to take a whiff of the underside of the bug's wings to determine its species, but ends up passing out due to being overwhelmed by the smell. Eventually, Eleanor decides to have Bienfu find an entomology book to put an end to that discussion once and for all, but as she tries to tell Phi that the bug actually belongs to an extremely rare species, Phi cuts her off and insists that it is a rhinotagros.
  • In another skit, the characters explain to Laphicet how there's an "underside" to everything, such as assassins, contract killers, etc. ... and bugs that are made to fight in roadside attractions.
    Laphicet: What sorts of bugs do they make fight?
    Rokurou: THAT's the part that got your attention?
  • Eizen gets too excited about making Prison Island their hidden hideout that he starts brainstorming about all kinds of secret routes and traps for any invader. Then he goes on a long daydream plan about the secret tunnels in case the docks are both blocked off, which Velvet argues it's stupid since there isn't another place for a dock. Then he says he'll simply dug a tunnel all the way to a nearby island, but then Magilou says there are no islands around. Then he stubbornly says he WILL build an island if need be. The girls are all thinking he lost his mind, but Rokurou supports Eizen's outlandish idea, with Laphicet confused about it all.
  • "A Nickname For Magilou." After Velvet starts calling Laphicet "Phi," Magilou insists that Velvet come up with a nickname for her too.
    Velvet: Okay, then. "Magi".
    Magilou: Oh come on, that's so obvious! Can't you put some heart into it for your dear friend?
    Velvet: Fine. "Lou".
    Magilou: Do I LOOK like an old man to you? You're not even trying!
    Velvet: Okay then, "Witchy McWitcherton".
    Magilou: Interesting... Well, if I had to rank it against 1000 other nicknames, I'd probably put it at number 1011.
    • Then Velvet's patience starts to grow thinner:
      Velvet: Sure then, "Hatty".
      Magilou: Now you're just saying what you see!
      Velvet: "Book-Skirt".
      Magilou: That's not any better either.
      Velvet: (Smiling) "Ms. Creepy Eyes".
      Magilou: That's just an insult! Look, no nicknames based on what you see, and ESPECIALLY no slandering!
      Velvet: "Lil-Miss-Witch-Who-Smiles-Around-You-But-Stabs-You-In-The-Back-When-You're-Not-Looking".
      Magilou: HEY! That's personal information!
      Velvet: Look, I told you, I'm not good at coming up with nicknames.
  • "Two-Headed Coin." Eizen's curse prevents him from getting anything other than tails whenever he flips a coin, so in an attempt to get around it, Rokurou devises a plan to have Eizen flip a coin that has heads on both sides. On the first attempt, a crow catches the coin in midair and flies away. On the second attempt, Prince Percival's Griffin does the same. On the third attempt, the coin is crushed by something that is left to the player's interpretation. Rokurou, Eleanor, and Laphicet are stunned.
    Rokurou: You gotta be kidding me... Reaper's Curse or not, does it really have to go this far over a damn coin?
  • One skit has Magilou whine that Rokurou is always allowing Eleanor to rest but not her. She then says that she should put him on a witch trial and burn him at the stake. Velvet then says "I don't think that's how a witch trial works."
  • A series of skits have Eizen and Rokurou try to get Laphicet to stay away from girls. They try to dance around the issue of sex, instead going for how All Women Are Prudes and that Laphicet should never trust them. Thing is, considering the group of women Laphicet hangs around with, it's good advice.
  • Magilou, when questioned about her skirt made of books by Laphicet, explains what each one is, even saying the book in front is actually a cake. She then lifts the book in front to show him what's underneath. Laphicet sounds appropriately fascinated...not by what's under the skirt, but by the concept of a book cake.
  • Magilou has a series of skits with each party member trying to do stand-up comedy with little success, since all of them screw it up.
    • Magilou has Velvet be the Comically Serious type, only to find out that Velvet has stage fright, forcing her to end the skit early.
    • Magilou uses Laphicet for his youth and naivete, but then he starts explaining the jokes. While this does gets the crowd going, Magilou ends up getting severely thrown off.
    • Magilou and Eleanor start off okay, but then Magilou ad-libs that she had burned a house down, which makes Eleanor scold her for making light of arson.
    • Eizen insists on playing the fool to Magilou's serious type. Case in point, he steals Magilou's Magikazam line. He then goes on to build up to his joke, only for Magilou to cut him off saying that he has to be faster which causes them to argue about comedy styles. Eizen gets annoyed and makes a "Tch" noise, which Magilou gets annoyed at and claims he's doing it on purpose. After, Magilou tries to save face by continuing, only for Eizen to randomly say he's going to do an impression of a clock...and than proceds to start making the "Tch" noise extremely fast just to piss Magilou off. It ends with her getting angry and leaving, with Eizen giving his rare Troll smile character-portrait. By the way, the audience still thinks it's part of the show.
    • Magilou has Rokurou be the guy that reacts to her jabs. Only thing is, Rokurou just randomly interjects with jokes about swords, even if it doesn't make sense. After Magilou tells him not to do it, he AGAIN jumps in, this time making a Call-Forward joke about Arma Dillo's, causing Magilou to leave.
    • After the fifth skit, Magilou deems the whole thing a failure and everyone unfunny, declaring that she's just going to stick with Bienfu. The others are not amused.
  • Eizen is normally rather reserved, unless you imply his sister is spending time with a man. What sells it is his voice cracking in the middle of it.
    Eizen: Damnation, Magilou! My sister doesn't have any guy clinging onto her! Do you know something I don't? Prove it! Bring him here right now!
  • Upon entering the Katz Korner, the party takes a moment to look around in wonder...except for Velvet, who is too busy sniffling and sneezing to pay attention to her surroundings. The party finds out that, much to their surprise, Velvet is allergic to cats.
    • Walking around Katz Korner will cause Velvet to sneeze and even hiccup. Katz Korner is not a fun time for her.
    • Velvet's cat allergy eventually becomes a case of Hilarious in Hindsight as Heldalf, one of the many Lord of Calamities who would come after Velvet, takes on the appearance of a humanoid lion and is nicknamed "Kittybeard" by the party.
  • Dyle and Benwick are arguing after the latter supposedly squeezed lemon juice on the former's fried chicken. Velvet and Eleanor eventually get annoyed with their bickering that they threaten to douse the two in ice water.
  • After finding a dragon in captivity, as the group felt sympathy for the malak that became that dragon, there's this gem:
    Magilou: But spawning dragons in addition to therions... You think they'll figure out a way to make humans, too?
    Eleanor: Yes. Wait, that's awful! I can't believe you went there!
  • One skit has Bienfu claiming Velvet and Eleanor are different as night and day, using increasingly flowery metaphors. The two girls aren't even in the scene, their paperdolls just appear for him to gesture at. Velvet's paperdoll still gets increasingly unamused expressions as she's compared to things like "squid-ink noodles with seaweed".
  • At one point the party chat about Pengyon mating habits. Laphicet is fascinated, which Velvet and Eleanor enable... right up until he asks how they make the eggs. Eleanor freezes up and does the verbal equivalent of a diving save by bringing up another random bit of trivia to distract him.
    Laphicet: So they lay eggs because they're like husband and wife...
    Laphicet: But... How do they make the eggs?
    Eleanor: (Taken aback) Huh?!
    Velvet: Thats, well...
    Eleanor: S-So, Laphicet! Here's an interesting fact!
    Eleanor: A single pengyon egg actually contains dozens of smaller, orange eggs.
  • The very first place Velvet, Rokurou, and Magilou go is Hellawes, a nice icy continent. Velvet and Rokurou don't get affected by the cold... but when they return near the end of the game, they start to get cold after Magilou and Eleanor start sneezing from it. The skit ends with all four of them staring at Eizen and Laphicet - who aren't affected at all by the cold. So Laphicet releases a fake sneeze.
  • One skit has Benwick talking to Eizen about Prince Percival allowing his Griffin to fly and hunt for food. He voices concern that the prey Griffin hunts gets bigger and bigger with each trip and punctured holes in the Van Eltia as a result. Eizen reassures him that it is natural for hawks to hunt and Rokurou and Laphicet back him up by stating that Prince Percival is happy watching Griffin fly. Eventually Magilou informs both Benwick and Eizen that she saw Griffin catch an Elephant Tuna, and after mentioning that it is above the ship, Eizen and Benwick are shocked and they both desperately try to stop Griffin from dropping it on the deck of the Van Eltia. The screen then cuts to black with a thud.
  • One skit triggered by a sidequest has the party locate a "unicorn's horn", with Magilou hastily stopping Laphicet from picking it up, since it'll lose its powers if unless a pure maiden touches it. Velvet writes herself off, and Magilou describes herself as "The kind of maiden who maxes out purity by her third playthrough", leading Rokurou to comment they're sunk.
    Eleanor: Excuse me! What sort of woman do you think I am? [...] What's your idea of a pure maiden anyway?
    Rokurou: I don't know, a princess who's never lifted anything heavier than a pair of chopsticks in her life?
    Eleanor: Your views on women are so messed up.
    Rokurou: [genuinely confused] They are?
    • And the capstone to all this? Being a pirate in an Ocean Punk world, Eizen ends the farce by pointing out it's a narwhal horn and magically inert. Magilou complains about him spoiling her fun.
  • The Crowe's Special Quiche dish that is a Crowe family specialty has spinach in it, which proves to be a sore point for Eleanor, who hates spinach ever since having to take sale'tomah. After the other characters poke fun at her for it, she says she knows they hate it too, and then tries to claim that what she's really talking about is the "SPINACH method," or Supporting Peers IN Achieving Cohesive Harmony. "It's the foundation of any successful team, and you all completely fail at it!" Magilou replies that she's not about to be lectured by some wee baby who won't eat her spinach. Rokurou agrees, but Eizen continues the fun by insisting that the SPINACH Method is the first thing any pirate learns when they want to join Aifread's crew and that he just ran a refresher lecture the last night. Then Eleanor tells him she's still waiting on his report. And it just gets better from there...
    Magilou: How did we get from spinach to a lecture on team-building?

Battle Quotes

  • Velvet scolds Magilou for fooling around. Magilou then skips to Velvet while spinning her arms around and replies that she is serious about her fooling around.
  • Laphicet tries to sound menacing.
    Laphicet: You don't want to make me angry...!
    Rokurou: Laphicet, apologize for losing your temper!
    Laphicet: Oh, sorry.
    Eizen: Come on, let the boy try to act tough.
  • Magilou engages in Hypocritical Humor with Rokurou:
    Magilou: You really do have a peculiar air about you.
    (camera pans out to Magilou levitating a spinning card above her finger)
    Rokurou: Yeah... I don't think you're one to talk...
  • Rokurou, Eleanor, and Magilou on weapons.
    Rokurou: Even a short weapon is effective up close.
    Eleanor: And training... can help it get even closer!
    Magilou: Mine gets as long as I want it to be!
  • Magilou and Velvet make Eleanor reconsider her choice of words.
    Eleanor: My spear can cut a path through anything!
    Magilou: Seriously?! Ooh! Smash that wall!!
    Eleanor: I don't think walls count...
    Velvet: So you can only handle small ones?
    Eleanor: I can't break through walls.
  • Rokurou, Eizen, and Magilou poke fun at Velvet at their own risk.
    Velvet: You cannot escape from my blade!
    Rokurou: And the legs...
    Eizen: And from the arms...
    Magilou: And from the hair, too!
    (Velvet turns and unsheathes her weapon, causing the other three to flinch)
  • Rokurou and Magilou comment on Velvet's combat prowess.
    Rokurou: She really floats like a butterfly...
    Magilou: Stings like a bee... And...
    (They look expectantly at Eizen.)
    Eizen: (surprised) Wait, there's more?!
  • Laphicet's curiosity gets the better of him.
    Laphicet: Just how does this sword work?
    Velvet: Don't touch it. You'll hurt yourself.
    Magilou: In other words, the rest of her is fair game.
    Velvet: Not unless you REALLY want to get hurt.
  • Rokurou shows off the Rangetsu style, though...
    Eizen: So that's the Rangetsu style? (Pointing towards his blades)
    Rokurou: No.
    Eleanor: (holding out her hands) So then here to here is the Rangetsu style?
    Rokurou: (Stamps his feet onto the ground) Just what do you think my style is?!
  • Magilou delves into Hypocritical Humor.
    Magilou: (to Eleanor) I'm not a fan of long scary things. (camera changes to reveal her carrying an outstretched doll in one hand)
    Eleanor: Um, have you looked into a mirror lately?
    Magilou: (to Laphicet) You really go crazy with all that paper. (camera changes to reveal her carrying many of her dolls in the other hand)
    Laphicet: You think I'm the one that's going crazy...?
  • Laphicet may need to reconsider role models.
    Laphicet: You guys are so cool!
    Rokurou and Eizen simultaneously: Don't become like me. (beat) Don't try and imitate [the other person]. Please?
  • Similarly...
    Laphicet: Isn't hard to wield a blade in both hands?
    Rokurou: My weapons are a part of me.
    Laphicet: Eizen said the same thing.
    Rokurou and Eizen simultaneously: It's totally different!
    Magilou: (standing off to the side) What good friends.
  • Magilou "plays it cool"...
    Magilou: Perfalmost victory!
    Laphicet: Perfalmost?
    Magilou: Basically perfect, but... you know, playing it cool.
    Eizen: Maybe don't invent new words.
  • Eleanor is diligent in her training.
    Eleanor: I still need a lot of training.
    Laphicet: Is training hard?
    Eleanor: It's necessary, so no. I don't think so.
    Velvet: (arms crossed, eyes closed) Hmph. Classic honor roll student.
  • Eizen asks an obvious question of Laphicet:
    Eizen: Where do you keep all that paper?
    Laphicet (rummaging around somewhere in his costume that is conveniently off-screen): Here... and... here.
    Eleanor (walking into the scene): ...He's taking it all off!!


  • The Hot Spring scenario. As a result of a special effect of the baths, the girls and guys of the party end up switching bodies, with Velvet in Laphicet's body, Eleanor in Rokurou's, Magilou in Eizen's, and vice versa. Velvet is splashing around because of Laphicet's smaller body, Eleanor is freaking out, Magilou is admiring Eizen's taller body, Laphicet is keeping his eyes closed, and the other guys don't seem to care, with Eizen mentioning that he used to take baths with his sister. Just as Velvet tells everyone to leave, they realize that the Katz on the female side and Bienfu on the male side have also switched bodies, so Bienfu has been taking a peek at the girls' bodies for a while now with his eyes wide open. Velvet promptly asks that he receives a good smacking, which Rokurou complies. What further sells this scene is that while the characters' bodies have switched, the voices haven't, thus the actors got to play as the other character for this scene.
    • The following skit has Eleanor force the guys to forget about the incident while Magilou comments that this ended up making things more awkward between them. One cut later, we have Velvet and Laphicet talking to each other.
      Velvet: I heard you kept your eyes covered the entire time.
      Laphicet: Yeah, I did.
      Velvet: Hah. That's so you.
      Laphicet: What's the problem? I was just trying to be polite!
      Velvet: It's fine, there's no problem. But I didn't cover mine.
      Laphicet: Ah...Augh! Velvet! Why would you even tell me that?!
    • Magilou in the background doing Eizen's battle stance and a few punches while Rokurou comments about Eleanor's body. Eleanor gets so indignant about that she stands Rokurou's body. And Velvet then gets all flustered because she suddenly got an eyeful in Laphicet's body...
    • Despite keeping his eyes covered, Laphicet still can't help but notice that parts of Velvet's anatomy are buoyant:
      I feel like there's an inner tube strapped to my chest.
  • There are Exorcist Cards. The Abbey apparently licensed a trading card game at some point. It's serious business, too, because you can hear Non Player Characters chat about how they finally got a Rank 5 Shigure, how impossible it is to find a Rank 8 Teresa & Oscar, or how Rank 10 Artorius is so broken that he's been banned from official tournaments.
    • Because Eleanor is a traitor, her card has been recalled... and thus become a rare, priceless collector's item. She finds out about this after a Bloodwing asks her to autograph his precious Rank 5 Eleanor.
    • There are also Malak Cards and you can talk with a boy who moans about getting a Rank 1 Bienfu.
  • Some of the descriptions for skills in the exploration part are rather ... creative.
    • Magilou's first skill is called Fortunetelling (trickery) and the description says "increases the chance of finding rare food ... maybe".
    • Magilou's second skill is called Fortunetelling (halfhearted) with a commentary in the description saying "she's not even trying, don't fall for it" and "Increases the chance of finding rare food ... you think?"
    • The description for "Fortunetelling (trickery)" also includes the comment "Bieeen! That's just more of her trickery," which strongly suggests that this and the other comments are originating from Bienfu.
    • Velvet's second skill is called "The Mistress's scolding" with the description saying: "Velvet reprimands the crew, This makes them happy for some reason".
  • The Tales cameos this time around are Xillia's Jude and Milla. Once they reached this world, however, Jude gets turned into a pengyon, though he does revert to his human form to fight the group. As for Milla, a praetor was said to be attacked by a gold one, and the group believes it's Milla. Turns out the golden pengyon was not her, and Milla steps in once Jude in his pengyon form passes out after going all the way from the beach for a false alarm.
    • It gets better. The gold pengyon's true identity? A god of destruction who comes to judge the world. It's not in disguise either, that's just its true form. It disguises itself as a glowing sphere when it needs to look impressive.
    • On top of that, the place you fight Milla and Jude for the last time is called Terror Island, a place so fearsome even Eizen is weary of it...except it's the Normin home land, made entirely of sweets and every step you make comes with a very non threatening bioing sound because you're literally walking on jello. When Eizen firsts sees the island he spends a solid two minutes face-palming. Mostly in shame because Bienfu and Grimoirh reveal they knew what kind of place it was all along but didn't want to burst his bubble.
  • In a New Game Plus, characters that you have dressed up in alternate costumes/accessories will appear in those costumes in cases when you battle them and in cutscenes before they join your party. Bunny ears and all.
    • Velvet has a strange twist in the costume department in New Game+, if you choose to carry over every costume. She starts the game in her normal Stripperific anti-hero attire, the same one she made during her breakout of Titania, instead of her villager outfit and during her three-year imprisonment at Titania instead of the Clothing Damage of her villager outfit, you can either get a non-damaged villager outfit or straight to the normal outfit. Either way, this makes the beginning scenes more Narm than normal.
  • One of the very late-game-to-post-game items for Laphicet is the Pluto satchel. Its description reads, "A bag unfairly cast out of bag society, causing it to be slowly forgotten."

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