Fan Works / Flat What

Examples of Flat "What" in Fan Works.

Abraxas (Hrodvitnon): This is Stage One of Vivienne's reaction when Mariko delivers the first clear hint that Serizawa is dead. Later, Tejada delivers a Flat What over comms when informed that Ghidorah's severed head has disappeared.
Advice and Trust:
- In chapter 4 Asuka utters one after finding out that Shinji had accidentally touched Rei's breasts once.
  Asuka narrowed her eyes. "Yes, that was a sudden, convenient little 'accident' you had out there. What was Wondergirl about to say? You touched her somewhere?"
  "Umm..."
  "He touched my right breast," Rei calmly supplied.
  Asuka stared at her, mouth gaping. "What." She shook her head. "Explain, rapidly."
- In chapter 8, Asuka starts explaining Shinji her plan to simultaneously tell Misato that they are together and have her accepting that they are also sleeping together.
  Shinji: Ok, so what's our first plan?
  Asuka: Strip chess.
  Shinji: What.

Amazing Fantasy: Izuku gives this response when the man he'd electrocuted by accident introduces himself as Peter Parker, who is supposed to be fictional.
In the Homestuck fanadventure Be the Sea Dweller Lowblood, Karkat does this thrice after finding out that Eridan, on top of breaking into (and locking Karkat out of) his private quarters, has been using his Trollian account to troll his friends, out-manipulating Vriska and single-handedly rescuing an organization devoted to upthrowing Aradia (and Karkat) from the hands of one of Karkat's best (and certainly closest) legislacerators.
Black Hole Heart: Team 7 gets a mission to protect a runner in a race that will determine which of two gangs will run a town. Sakura's reaction to the briefing combines this with Punctuated! For! Emphasis!.
Sakura: What. The actual. Fuck.
Brave New World: Given the frequency of positively bizarre crap that happens, one can hardly blame Pikachu for reacting this way often. You know it's approaching critical mass when Leo does it though.
The Bridge:
- Anguirus pops this upon first encountering an erratically flying Derpy Hooves.
- Rodan pops this after receiving a letter asking him to join Rainbow Dash in performing an air show.
Celestia takes a Vacation: Celestia tends to induce these whenever she decides to screw with people for her own amusement, such as reacting to Princess Henrietta entering the room by loudly declaring her plot foiled and teleporting away with Siesta, with whom she'd been having tea.
Certain Dark Things: Snape says it when he learns that Harriet hasn't been seen in Little Whinging since the previous August.
A Certain Magical Friendship: Context_SHIFT"Round up the stragglers - RESURGENCE_part_two": After plain dirt, well, loamy earth, is used to attack her. Which is the most basic weapon used against her in a battle between magical groups:
Nightmare Moon opened her mouth, paused for a second, then said a word in the flattest tone Applejack had ever heard, even flatter than when she had said this word earlier tonight.
"What."
In Children of the Stars, upon waking to a situation that's already taxing her mind, Keleria is further confused by Ayuri saying she's taken a courier job leading to Stranglethorn Vale.
Keleria blinked, feeling about as intelligent as a suffocating fish, "what."
In Children of the Sun this is Draco's reaction to Harry's statement that his golden anaconda familiar got the defensive runes on its body by protecting him from his abusive Muggle relatives.
In Cross Cases, total incredulity is Harry's reaction to Sam claiming he's from an alternate reality.
Sam Winchester: "This isn't my reality."
Harry Dresden: "What."
A Crown of Stars:
- In chapter 32:
  Daniel flinched slightly at something and put a hand to the side of his head. "Ow. Alright, before half my children jump in with suggestions, I'm going to head them off with at least one of my own; You need to stand right up, put your right hand on your hip, your left hand in the air, and start signing the 'I'm A Little Teapot' song while Asuka throws pies at you and I play the accordion."
  Shinji stared at him. Asuka's head came up off Shinji's chest and joined in. "What," they said flatly in stereo.
- Chapter 74 provided a rare non-humorous example:
  "Ching, come with me. Asuka, you should stay here," Shinji said, avoiding Asuka's eyes.
  "What." Asuka's voice was dangerously flat.
In D Gray Man Abridged, there is a short starring Kanda and Allen:
Kanda: Hey Allen. You're a bean sprout.
Allen: Your mom's a bean sprout.
Kanda: Your beansprout's a mom!
Allen: ...What.
In Dead Man Walking this is Ron's reaction to a Hufflepuff ducking into his, Harry and Draco's compartment to escape some flying quills.
In Deserving of More this is Harry's reaction to being given a toy owl after Draco learns that he received no birthday or Christmas presents while growing up.
In Despair's Last Resort, Takara Tsukuda can only react to Monokuma's appearance with this.
In The Difference a Good Solicitor Makes this is Ron's reaction to Harry being Sorted into Slytherin.
Dobby's Deceit:
Harry: Where is [Sirius] now? Can I help him somehow?
Sharptooth: You can, in fact, but more about that in a moment. First, it is my duty and my pleasure to inform you that Lord Black officially named you his heir, both in blood and in magic, within minutes of claiming his lordship. You're now the heir to two magical houses.
Harry: What. He doesn't even know me ... and I don't know what that even means.
Doing It Right This Time:
- When Shinji and Asuka meet after the timeline restarts:
  Asuka: Trying to stab you when we ran into each other by Misato's memorial was spur of the moment. I've had three months to plan this meet-up. Besides, [...] you masturbating over my comatose body was far from the worst thing to happen to me that week. At least it proved you were too dumb to know when you're being hit on instead of just gay.
  Shinji: What.
- In the first draft Misato uttered one when she saw Asuka had been reading "The Ethical Slut":
  Misato couldn't help but smile... until she happened to glance at the cover of the book Asuka had been reading, and realized it was a copy of The Ethical Slut. And Asuka had apparently been taking notes.
  What.
In Dragon Age: The Crown of Thorns, people occasionally exhibit this reaction when the protagonist issues some strange command, like telling Branka to make golem-sized pickaxes.
Dragon Ball Z Abridged:
- Episode 8 gives us a great one: Piccolo and Krillin use the Multi-Form technique to attack Nappa, but Nappa is still able to dodge their attacks. Piccolo ponders what kind of mental discipline Nappa had gone through to be so powerful, but Nappa is simply singing Patty-Cake in time to his attacks. Afterwards we get this:
  Nappa: Good effort, but I'm still the patty-cake champion!
  Piccolo: What.
- Another one in Episode 15:
  Vegeta: Look at you, Dodoria. You're always so damn proud. And now here you are, crying like a woman!
  Dodoria: I am a woman!
  (Beat)
  Vegeta: What.
- Aaaand Episode 16:
  Yamcha: What the hell? I waxed off everything! I waxed off your car, I waxed off your house, I even waxed off your monkey!
  Piccolo: Okay, I just started paying attention - what.
- When the heroes ask for one of the legendary Dragon Balls.
  Nail: Learn your place, Earthling! you have some nerve demanding-
  Guru: Here, take it.
  Nail: I... what.
- Freeza doesn't know how to handle Goku's threats:
  Super Saiyan Goku: I'm going to break you!
  Freeza: What?! (gets his hand crushed) AUGH!
  Goku: Like a KitKat bar!
  Freeza: ...What?
- Here's another one from their Bardock Special:
  Zarbon: Mm, too bad. And that Bardock was such a dashing rogue.
  Dodoria: What.
- This was also Shenron's reaction in the Christmas Tree of Might Christmas Special when the group summons him and go on about the forest being devastated by fire. Naturally Shenron thinks they want him to restore life to the forest, but Krillin's response that nah, Krillin just wants a great Christmas tree first makes Shenron do a Flat What, then marks his breaking point from being a Benevolent Genie into a Jackass Genie.
In Empire's Gleam, a time-traveling Merlin has this reaction when Arthur states he would never bring his manservant out hunting or on campaign with him.
Happens in Ewar's Tale once, when the signature characters meets a pair of bats that he thought were spirits, the Author seems self-aware too for some reason.
In The Family that Chooses You Alicia and Angelina have a talk with Katie about her and Harry's relationship.
Alicia: I hope you remember this, when it comes to naming your children.
Katie: What.
In Fate Revelation Online Johnny Black responds this way in a hint corner chapter when Gilgamesh says Johnny doesn't belong in the bad-guy hint corner.
In From the End to the Start this is Hermione's reaction to Luna's statement that pudding, according to her mother, "can be served for medicinal purposes for poison consumption and for irritable bowels."
A Running Gag in Glorious Shotgun Princess, whenever someone from the Mass Effect universe is exposed to the over-the-top martial-arts "bullshit magic" of the Exalted setting or just about anything that Autochthon does or says.
- Becomes really hilarious when a Reaper does it.
- Admiral Hackett's reaction to seeing raptors escaping from the crew quarters (read: a private tropical beach) is a simple 'Oh god what the fuck'
  - Presumably many readers had a similar reaction when Hackett started beating the crap out of said raptors and even suplexing one!
Draco Malfoy has this reaction in Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality when told that Harry needed a bit of cash, after using the money he'd stolen from his own Gringotts vault to buy a gift for Hermione Granger. Exactly which part of that the Flat What is in response to is left to the reader.
- Harry also ends the first chapter with one.
Harry Potter and the Power of the Coven:
Ariadne: We are highly trained, highly skilled assassins. Part of Dumbledore's own original Order of the Phoenix, a branch that no one was aware existed.
Snape: What.
In Harry Potter Wishing for a friend this is McGonagall's reaction to learning that Dumbledore and Grindlewald were lovers.
When Sola-Ui worries about Berserker - suspected to be Achilles - allying with Lancer for personal motives in Holding Back the Sea, Kayneth playfully suggests to let Lancer handle crafting the alliance. Needless to say, the Servant does not appreciate the joke.
In the Totally Spies!/Ranma ½ crossover How I Learned to Love the Wild Horse Mandy has this reaction when she finds out Alex, Clover, and Sam are spies, and have been, "Since freshman year."
When Sam Wilson tells Natasha Romanov that the Winter Soldier broke into his hotel room and traded him macaroni and cheese with bacon for his iPod Touch in If They Haven't Learned Your Name, it turns out to be so far outside all expectations she had that she feels something in her brain short-circuit, and asks if that's supposed to be code.
Invader Zim: A Bad Thing Never Ends:
- This is Fizzmitz's reaction in Chapter 14 when told that Professor Membrane's home security system includes an Attack Drone specifically for the sake of fighting Santa.
- Gaz can only whisper one of these in Chapter 17 when Iggins declares their latest fight as a grand match to declare the greatest gamer in the world, since she doesn't remotely view the situation that seriously.
Understandably, this is Miranda Lawson's reaction to the Illusive Man telling her to turn Shepard into a man/woman/robot/werewolf/gun hybrid^note in It Got Loose and Killed All Our Guys: The Project Lazarus Story.
In the Kedabory's Muppet Mania episode "Welcome Back", Miss Piggy's reaction to hearing that Annie Sue has a number in the show and she doesn't is a Tranquil Fury-laced "What."
In The Keys Stand Alone: The Soft World, John traps a number of adventurers neck-deep in mud and Ringo goes to talk to them. One of the adventurers says to him, in effect, "Hurry up and torture us and get it over with already!" To which the Actual Pacifist Ringo responds: "Y'what?"
Continuing the tendency marked by his canon counterpart, Kyon in Kyon: Big Damn Hero gives a Flat What when Haruhi announces that, due to Kyon inadvertently making her believe he was upset with her, she can no longer trust him to put his costume on by himself and asks Yuki to hold him down.
In The Last Dark Lord Ginny invokes the Life Debt she owes Harry while under the belief that he's ignorant of the proper ritual responses.
Harry: She came in here to die. Sorry.
Hermione: What.
In Worm fanfic "Like Mother Like Skitter", Tattetale has this reaction when a notorious, psychopathic serial killer breaks into her loft and tells that he wants her team's services "in helping a young woman come to terms with her sexuality!"
In Monsters In Paradise, this has become the characters' stock response to anything absurd enough to break their thought processes, such as Skarmory's ability cancelling out Flandre's. Marisa eventually lampshades this:
"Say it. You know you want to."
In More Powerful Than Magic this is Abraxas' reaction to Harry appearing in Malfoy Manor after Draco wishes for him to be there.
New Vegas Showtime: Ryuji's reaction to Klein (a Brain in a Jar completely detached from his former humanity) describing his fingers as "hand penises" is a deadpan "...my what now?".
In One for All and Eight for the Ninth, it is quite the common reaction when someone drops a bombshell.
- Izuku nearly does it when Mei drags him so they can "make some babies together" (i.e. build support items).
- Yoichi when Izuku bonds with Mei.
- Inko when she sees the limousine waiting to take her and Izuku to Momo's house.
- David Shield when All Might mentions his "adoption" of Izuku.
- Bakugo when he's told he's legally a villain.
- Izuku when Todoroki shares his belief that Izuku is All Might's son. And again when Todoroki states that Izuku's making things worse for him.
- Nana when Endeavor becomes the first person ever to fully respond to one of Izuku's mumblestorms.
- Monoma when Akira asks him to copy his Quirk.
- Hitoshi when Yoichi possesses Izuku's body after he used Brainwashing on the latter.
- Todoroki when Izuku appears to be fighting him without using his Quirk. And when Izuku begins to point out how him not using his full power could backfire.
- Hitoshi when Ochako reveals that All Might is Izuku's unofficial father.
- Izuku when Yui says people think he was fighting Quirkless against Todoroki.
- Nighteye after Izuku declares he won't let him kill Mirio. And when Izuku mentions Nana.
- The Vestiges when Izuku sees Nighteye in the Pose of Supplication.
- Inko when Nezu reveals Eri's attachment to Izuku.
- Tenya when Gran Torino states he's happy that Tenya Loophole Abused his way to confront Stain without breaking the law or his word not to fight him.
- Denki when Izuku reveals he's polyamorous.
- The Vestiges when Eri calls Izuku "Papa" for the first time.
- Izuku when Tsuyu states she thinks Ibara doesn't approve of her.
- Melissa when Denki suggests he and Mina can out-stupid Nezu to pass the practical exam.
- Melissa when she reaches Level 2.
- Hisashi when the Yaoyorozus mention Izuku in relation to Momo.
- Izuku when Ryouji reveals he and Isamu were married.
- Izuku when Star and Stripe states she's wanted to meet him for months.
- Izuku when All Might begins to imply he might be interested in dating Inko.
- Izuku after Yui and Momo reveal their joint present for his birthday.
- Yui when Izuku points out the guys in her class had crushes on her.
- Kota when Izuku tells him he didn't get his Quirk until a few months earlier.
- All for One when Izuku doesn't show signs of being scared in spite of him using a Quirk to induce that effect.
- Izuku when he learns a reporter (Curious) was asking if the League is trying to recruit him.
- Ragdoll when Izuku uses Search.
- All For One after All Might reveals that he already knows that Tomura Shigaraki is Tenko Shimura.
- Aoyama lets out a "Quoi" after Izuku offers to modify his body to acclimate to his Quirk.
- Re-Destro when he learns someone's investigating Shoowaysha Publishing's finances.
In the Soul Eater oneshot Oblivion, this is Shaula's reaction when Medusa, after abusing her younger sister all throughout their childhood and continually mocking her and hitting her when they meet again as adults, demands that Shaula help her with one of her experiments.
In the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha fanfic Proper Equipment, Yuuno gives one in response to hearing that his new device Raising Heart is designed for long-range offensive magic. Apparently Mazda, the Scrya clan matriarch who gave it to him, didn't realize that he specialized in defensive and support magic, or that he was actually a boy.
Poor Hayato in Red like the Storm when Harry crashes his training camp on a bike, pursued by Squalo insulting her and Skull riding an octopus. Yeah...
- Then you have Mukuro in Chapter 17 when Harry is replaced by her future self who Curb Stomps the Estraneo Famiglia, offers him chocolate - his favourite kind! - and a kiss on his forehead then manages to talk the Vindice into letting her go. The kid is left speechless and frankly, can you blame him for it?
The Rivalry:
Harry: It isn't that I thought it was worth it, it's that I wasn't willing to go back to nothing. This pain was something, even if it was pain, and anything was better than nothing. But now...now I miss nothing. And I don't want to hurt anymore.
Draco: Nothing is over-rated. It keeps your head clear and it keeps people at a distance but you'll never be happy. You can't be happy when you have nothing. Awards and galleons and large houses with empty rooms can never fill the spaces inside of us that ache against our will. Some of us choose this path. You don't have to be one of them.
Harry: You seem fine with it.
Draco: What.
Ruby Pair: This is Tenn's reaction in "My Fair Tenn", upon hearing that GIR, who isn't even a contestant, is taking first place in the beauty pageant rather than her.
Sailor Moon Abridged the Movie: Promise of the Lost Rose
Kisenian: Fiore, go! Kill him! He's shitfaced; it'll be easy.
Fiore: But... he's my lover.
Kisenian: ... What.
In Scars in the Moonlight Kitty says this when Fred and George nickname her "Rin" after she introduces herself as "Catherine".
Second Wind: Buggy gives one of these when Luffy proposes to do nothing while the former executes him.
In Sharing Is Caring this is Draco's reaction to Harry's comment that Hermione spelled him and Ron to look and feel seven months pregnant for a week after Ron made an unwise remark about Hermione's own pregnancy.
Several characters in the Pokémon: The Series fanfic Silver Blood demonstrate this reaction, usually to unexpected information. Brendan seems to be a particular cause for them, one notable example being when he caught Domino off-guard by turning her attempt to fight into an impromptu dance with her.
Happens fairly often in the Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfic Skin (UsagiSquared), more often than not followed by a Big "WHAT?!" when the weirdness factor hits critical mass.
Atem in Slightly Haunted gives this response when Yugi informs him almost everyone in Japan can read (in Atem's time, this was restricted to scribes and certain members of the upper class).
Spontaneous Earth: During First Construction (In Metal), a Federal Coordinating Officer expresses concerns about there being fall flooding caused by rain if they don't get the rivers cleared, referring to the time of year as "when the water tries to come through." Prowl, who has been studying human history but comes from a planet without flowing water, interprets the statement as referring to a harvest festival where flooding is seen as a blessing and tells the FCO that transporting the water can wait. After a Beat, the FCO asks if Cybertron has a water cycle; Prowl's response is "A what."
Starfall:
Harry: Sirius was in prison for years, and he was the last heir to the house. His mum—Walburga—died sometime in the eighties, I think. And when he was here, he didn't have much motivation to keep the place up.
Draco: The house-elf should have.
Harry: Kreacher was depressed, and didn't want to serve Sirius, and mostly wanted to be dead and have his head chopped off so it could be put on the wall like all the other house-elf heads.
Draco: What.
In Step Back in Time Harry explains that the locket Horcrux being in a particular location in his timeline doesn't necessarily mean it's in the same place.
Dumbledore: You have been to Grimmauld Place, my boy. Could you feel it?
Harry: What. With all the other dark magic in that house? You want me to pick out just one item?
The Stronger Evil: Shendu reacts this way when Valerie asks if their binding can be undone.
Surrogate of Zero: In this fic, the ghost of Asuka narrates all what her husband Shinji does, and she has a... very particular style, and Shinji - who is mind-linked to her - sometimes has this kind of reaction:
Asuka: The waters are red, not like blood, but the broken dreams of Communism.
Shinji: What.
Sword Art Online Abridged:
- This, along with sarcastic laughter and Wide Eyes and Shrunken Irises, is Kirito's reaction when Rosalia suggests that Silica, who's been following him around, has "found someone on her level."
- Asuna has this response when she wakes up from a nap to see Kirito smirking at her, and after she draws her sword on him, he confesses that he drew cat whiskers on her face. More specifically, she's shocked that's all he did to her.
- Suguha reacts this way when Kirito finally introduces himself in Alfheim Online, letting her figure out that the Spriggan she was just roleplaying with as Princess Leafa is actually her much-ridiculed brother, Kazuto. Whom she complimented for his "sweet patootie." Then she logs out and the Cluster F-Bomb begins.
Tales of the Canterlot Deportation Agency: Luna Vs. The Law Machine: "Cleaning Up The Town": When faced the idea of a criminal just admitting his crimes:
"You have never seen a trial get put together so fast," the voice reflected. "Jury! Judge! Snack machine refilled in the hallway! And when the first gavel came down, do you know what that particular incursion did?"
The laugh went on for a mere three heartbeats, and was all the more agonizing for it.
"Admitted everything."
Luna blinked.
"...what?"
This Bites!:
- Chapter 14, following The Reveal and Cross' tearful begging to stay on the crew:
Nami: (solemnly) Alright, Cross, we'll let you stay on the crew… But first... you have to answer a few questions for us... Cross, listen to me very closely. I need to know... How rich are we going to get?
Cross: (mentally) ...what. (out loud) What.
- Chapter 25... several times.
- Chapter 32, during the accidental landing in G-8, when the crew realizes that Vivi and Carue are being pampered in luxury by a barrack of overly-chivalrous Marines.
- Chapter 38, Sengoku goes from Flat "What" to Big "WHAT?!" when he realizes the island the Straw Hats plan to pillage and burn is Enies Lobby.
Top of the Line (Editor-Bug): In the first story, this is Tak's reaction when Zim declares his belief that she's in love with him.
From A Very Potter Musical, Snape's reaction to Cedric's reaction to Snape's House roll call:
Snape: Hufflepuff...
Cedric: FIND!
Snape: What.
Wind Shear:
Charlus: And speaking of those great nieces... you made quite the impression on young Bellatrix.
Harry: ... What?
Charlus: Yes. She has been quite the adamant defender of you to her family. Very... vigorous in making her case. Extremely passionate.
Harry: ... What.
In With Age Comes---Absurdity? this is Harry's response to giving birth to twins after believing he was pregnant with only one child.
In a Worm fic "Worm Loops", Taylor has this reaction when Belldandy, Urd and Skuld tell her that, when she manages to get out of the time loops, she'll become another goddess.
"The only actual way for you to end the loops is if you were to ascend to a full admin. In order to do that, you need experience. Fortunately, you can gain plenty of that in the loops." She gives me a smile, "The closer you get towards the endpoint the greater control you'll have over your own loops. Eventually, down the road, you will get out of the loops."
The three goddesses bowed to me again, smiles on their faces. "And on that day, we will welcome you as one of us."
...
...
...
What.
You Got HaruhiRolled! uses this on occasion. A notable example is when Haruhi gets crushed by a blimp.
Rise of the Minisukas:
- Ritsuko's reaction when Misato lays out her plan to destroy Ramiel:
  Ritsuko: "Well, you've certainly had worse bases for plans before-."
  Misato: "Also we need to hijack Japan's entire supply of electricity."
  Ritsuko: "What."
- Ritsuko again has reaction when Tokita claims the AT field is a hoax.
  "Ah yes, the 'AT field'. The supposed soul magic barrier the aliens possess that the Eva's can also use. You may have fooled the UN with that nonsense, but I will not be!" What.
- The Jet Alone Kai elicits a double flat what from Shinji when he declares the AT fields are lies and propaganda devised by the ruling class to oppress the proletariat.
  "FALSE. AT-FIELDS ARE A LIE CREATED TO SUPPRESS THE WORKING CLASS." What. "YOUR PARLOR TRICKS HAVE NO EFFECT ON ME. NOW DIE." The hammer once again bounces off his AT field. "CEASE YOUR TRICKERY AND FIGHT FAIR! I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY A LIE PROPAGATED BY REPTOIDS!" What.
Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series:
Dartz: Here's what we're gunnah do, mayn. We're gunnah find Yuu-gay Mowtoe, and we're gunnah take his dayck.
Rafael: What.
Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged:
Kuwabara: Urameshi... I need you to finger bang me.
Yusuke: What.

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