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Oblivious to Hatred

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"Do you have to be such an accommodating buffoon?"
"Squidward, everyone knows I'm a sponge. I look nothing like a balloon."
"It's been obvious for weeks—months—Lababibi despises Yvernau. He's probably the only person in the entire convention who didn't know it."
Dame Estelle Matsuko, The Shadow of Saganami

Bob hates Alice. He makes it very clear that he hates her. However, for some reason, no matter how blunt he is with her, she is not only unaware that he hates her, but actually thinks they're friends.

A sub-trope of Mutually Unequal Relation. Oblivious to Hatred is when a character, usually The Ditz, a Cloud Cuckoolander, or has a Small Name, Big Ego, or is a Horrible Judge of Character, is blissfully unaware of how much another character hates them, despite how blatant they are about their feelings. This trope can often result in either an Insult Backfire or Insult Misfire.

When a character does become aware of the other's dislike for them, it turns into Somebody Doesn't Love Raymond. For when a character can't accept that another isn't in love with them, see Mad Love. Compare Unknown Rival and contrast Oblivious to Love. See also Hidden Disdain Reveal.


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    Anime and Manga 
  • In Bloom Into You, Chie Yuzuki, Sayaka's sempai and ex-girlfriend, seems to believe they are (or at least can be) Amicable Exes since she apologizes for making Sayaka like girls, and acts relieved when Sayaka says she has no idea why she fell in love with Chie.
  • Blue Exorcist: Shiemi seems to be this at first with Izumo. She tries to be her friend, but Izumo would often insult her for her attempts. However, by the Impure King arc, it's revealed that she's fully aware of what she thinks of her, but still wants to help her and be her friend.
  • Arale from Doctor Slump. Dr. Mashirito wants to kill her and openly tells her to her face, but she just thinks of him as another playmate. She has a moment of clarity in the second movie, but apparently just forgot about it later on. Towards the end of the anime, both Senbei and Obotchaman know about Mashirito's bad intentions, but she's still as oblivious as ever.
  • Fruits Basket: Kagura is madly in love with Kyo, but she tends to be violent when overcome with her emotions. Because of this, Kyo can't stand her, but she can never seem to take the hint.
  • My Hero Academia:
    • All Might seems to view Endeavor as an acquaintance. However, Endeavor hates him and always brushes him off due to his desire to one-up him. That being said, after All Might is forced into retirement and Endeavor becomes the #1 Hero as a result of that, Endeavor's hatred for All Might seems to have died down since he's willing to ask All Might for advice (something he'd never have considered before).
    • Himiko Toga, a member of the League of Villains, seems to think Ochako and Tsuyu are her friends, despite being an Ax-Crazy Serial Killer with a serious case of Blood Lust. Tsuyu even tells her not to use a First-Name Basis with her since she only lets her friends do it, but she doesn't comply.
    • Izuku himself seems to consider Bakugou a misguided friend moreso than anything else, despite Bakugou regularly tormenting him, abusing him, and generally appearing to hate his guts on general principle. This one's discussed in-universe as nobody understands just why Izuku would go so far for someone that treats him so horribly.
    • Shoto Todoroki seems to think he is friends with Bakugo and thinks they get along just fine. Meanwhile, Bakugo spends most of his time with Todoroki insulting him and generally being his usual abrasive self. Todoroki doesn't seem to notice that he's not included in the Odd Friendship Bakugo has with Kaminari and Kirishima.
  • One-Punch Man: Puri Puri Prisoner's fellow prisoners hate him for all the abuse he put them through, to the point that they willingly become monsters just for the chance to kill him. He is completely oblivious to this when they finally meet in the Monster Association base, and promises to save them even after they outright tell him that they hate his guts and don't want to be saved.
  • In Failed Princesses, since Nanaki Fujishiro repeatedly picked on Kanade Kurokawa for being plain-looking, the fact that Kurokawa doesn't like Fujishiro should have been completely obvious. However, when Fujishiro discovers that her boyfriend is cheating on her, and said boyfriend cruelly dumps her after being caught, Kurokawa says that anyone would feel sad about being treated that way by the person they love. Fujishiro misinterprets that as Kurokawa trying to be nice to her in spite of their past history, while Kurokawa bears a grudge against her. Kurokawa doesn't try to correct Fujishiro, though, and they eventually do become friends.
  • Downplayed with Mitsuki and Kanoko in Yuri is My Job!. Mitsuki doesn't think she and Kanoko are friends but doesn't seem to be aware that Kanoko is jealous of Mitsuki's closeness to Kanoko's best friend, Hime.
  • Sousuke's gym teacher in Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu absolutely loathes him (for admittedly 100% understandable reasons) and takes great pains to let Sousuke know he's the Absolute Worst at every possible occasion. Sousuke, however, is convinced he's simply doing his duty as a drill sergeant and unconditionally accepts every insult with the appropriate, "Sir, yes, sir!" an act which only pisses the gym teacher off more.
  • Soma Yukihira of Food Wars!. After he transfers to Tootsuki, he makes a speech about how he's gonna make it to the top of the school and use everyone else as stepping stones, which earns him the hatred of the entire student body, and later he's seen puzzled about why everyone seems to be against him during his first official Shokugeki. Moreover, while Erina Nakiri makes it clear that she despises him to his face, he seems to take it as her just being "hard to talk to".

    Comic Books 
  • Anya's Ghost
    • Dima, a little Russian boy whose family is friends with Anya's mother, was always friendly with Anya and appears to think they're friends. In fact, Anya hates him and tries to ignore him, believing he deserves to be bullied for being a "fobby creep". Later in the story, when Anya realizes how unfair and judgmental she has been, she starts to be nicer to Dima. She opens up to him on how she was also bullied as a child, telling him not to worry about impressing his schoolmates because being popular isn't really that important.
    • Anya is jealous of and greatly resents popular girl Elizabeth Standard. She has a crush on Elizabeth's boyfriend Sean and plans to steal him from her. Anya hates how everything about her is utterly nice, making her wish Elizabeth would show just once that she can be imperfect too. Elizabeth appears to be completely in the dark about how Anya feels about her and treats her nicely. Anya later lets go of her jealousy and resentment of Elizabeth when she learns that Sean is a creep who sleeps around with other girls, while Elizabeth allows him to cheat on her because she is miserable and insecure without him - Elizabeth is willing to do anything to keep him in her life because he makes her happy.
  • Batman
    • Catwoman: Deconstruction. Selina Kyle's childhood friend Sylvia Sinclair had a deep hatred for her because when they were teenagers working the streets together as prostitutes, Sylvia took Selina's place during their first time so Selina wouldn't have to go through with it. Selina didn't know how to handle Sylvia after the incident or attempt to comfort her, causing Sylvia to develop a deep hatred of Selina because she felt Selina abandoned her. Despite their shaky history - and also that in the past during a heist gone bad, Selina was forced to leave Sylvia to be arrested - Selina was in the dark about Sylvia's hatred for her and trusted her, even considering Sylvia her closest childhood friend. Sylvia abuses that trust by revealing her identity to her enemy Black Mask, who kidnaps Selina's little sister Maggie and her husband Simon Burton. Simon is tortured to death, while Maggie is tortured to insanity.
    • The Joker's relationship with Batman is this, Depending on the Writer. Sometimes, he views his crime spree on Gotham and Batman's attempts to stop him as a game, despite the serious damage he often causes. Other times, he actually seems to hate him just as much but doesn't really show it outside of finding ways to torment Batman.
    • Poison Ivy: Another case of Depending on the Writer, Ivy is often depicted as having such a delusional infatuation with Batman that she is completely unaware of how he really feels about her. Some portrayals indicate that she sees herself as a princess of sorts, waiting for her knight (Batman) to free her from her prison (Arkham), without really comprehending the fact that he's the person who sent her there in the first place. Other stories have her claim that Batman's ability to resist her mind control indicates that he has strong feelings for her without her drugs to induce it. And others have her interpret Batman's tendency to save her life (even from accidents of her own making) as a tacit admission that he does "love" her on some level. Some stories even indicate that she sees Catwoman and Talia al Ghul as rivals for Batman's affections. However, while Batman definitely has been tempted by raw physical attraction to Ivy (because anyone remotely attracted to women is), her goddess complex, megalomania and disregard for human life utterly disgust him.

    Fan Works 
  • In Amazing Fantasy, Tsukauchi wonders if All Might is faking ignorance of Endeavor's animosity for him to avoid creating tension or if he actually has no clue.
  • In Neither a Bird nor a Plane, it's Deku!, Izuku is completely oblivious to how much Bakugou's cat, Dexter, despises him. He insists they're friends even as the cat does nothing but bite, scratch, and throw toys at him. Izuku continues to deny it even after Bakugou tells him flatly to his face that Dexter hates him.
  • Top of the Line (Editor-Bug): Zim, as usual, doesn't grasp that his whole species hates him. And on a more personal level, he's convinced that Tak's obsession with him is because of being in love with him, rather than despising him.
  • The Victors Project: During the Mockingjay Rebellion, the Mistreatment-Induced Betrayal of the Settlers completely blindsides the District 10 Peacekeepers.
    [A]t some point, Settler loyalty became Settler playacting, and the Peacekeepers never noticed. And now, it deeply unnerves them.
  • In Yugioh EQG:
    • When they first meet during the first round of the Celestic Cup, Flash very clearly dislikes Timber due to him flirting with Twilight. Timber however never seems to pick up on this, even when Flash challenges him to a duel, they get into an argument during it, and Flash tells him to go away once it is over. When Timber reunited with Flash and Twilight in the sequel at the party before the final round, he acts as if he and Flash are old friends, when Flash is clearly annoyed at seeing him again.
    • Flash's parents, Trail Blazer and Misty Veil, both considered Sombra to be a close friend of theirs. Sombra however never liked Trail at all, believing him to be interfering with his attempts to ask out Misty himself. When Misty ended up marrying Trail instead of Sombra, Sombra saw it as a betrayal from both of them. Neither of them ever realized how bitter he felt towards them both until he prepares to sacrifice them both to begin the return of the Doom-Vaders.

  • Wings of Fire: Fatespeaker is convinced the other "false" dragonets are her friends, though they actually hate her and are happy when their next task assigned by Morrowseer allows them to potentially kill her.
  • In the Red Dwarf novel Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers, Rimmer doesn't initially understand why Lister would rather go back into cryosleep for the duration of their return trip to Earth even after Holly reactivated Rimmer as a hologram to keep Lister from going insane from loneliness. Lister has to calmly and concisely explain to Rimmer that he doesn't actually like him, which floors Rimmer; he always hated Lister, of course, but had always assumed that Lister had liked (or at least respected) him because Rimmer is such a narcissistic bundle of neuroses that he's completely oblivious to what a smeghead he really is.

    Live-Action TV 

    Newspaper Comics 
  • Dennis the Menace is oblivious to how much his grumpy old neighbor Mr. Wilson wishes he would leave him alone. While it's clear that, deep down, Mr. Wilson does care about Dennis, it doesn't change the fact that Dennis drives him crazy.

  • In some productions of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Joseph is portrayed as being cheerfully oblivious to how much his brothers resent his status as the favored son. Jacob also has no idea how much his favoritism towards Joseph enrages his other sons, to the point that when they sell Joseph into slavery and tell Jacob that he was killed in a fight with a goat, he sees no reason not to believe their obviously ridiculous story.

    Video Games 
  • Borderlands: Claptrap loves its friends and frequently tries to cheer them up, oblivious to the fact that it only annoys them more than anything and made itself hated by all. The expansion A Claptastic Voyage in The Pre-Sequel reveals that Claptrap is somewhat aware of this, but chooses to live in denial.
  • According to their biographies in Mega Man & Bass, Toad Man hates Snake Man, but Snake Man likes to spend time with Toad Man. While it's left vague as to why Snake Man hangs out with Toad Man, one could interpret this as "Snake Man thinks Toad Man is his friend, but Toad Man can't stand him".

  • This is Fighter and Black Mage's relationship in a nutshell in 8-Bit Theater. Fighter thinks he and Black Mage are the best of friends, but Black Mage hates Fighter's guts (primarily due to Fighter being for the most part dumb as a box of rocks). Black Mage even attempts to kill Fighter on more than one occasion.
  • Cedar in Finding Your Roots stays friendly with Pokémon who range from casually to ideologically racist against her and her friends. She even considered The Bully Briar to be her best friend.
  • In Girl Genius, Othar Tryggvassen (Gentleman Adventurer!) cannot seem to grasp that no one in the world can stand being in the same room with him for more than a minute or two unless they really have to. He especially cannot grasp that, no, Tarvek has absolutely no interest in becoming his sidekick.

    Web Original 

    Western Animation 
  • The Amazing World of Gumball: Gumball Watterson and Darwin worship the ground Mr. Robinson walks on, unable to understand all the obvious hints that he's a bitter, miserable old Jerkass who hates the Watterson family, especially the two of them, with a red-hot burning passion. It isn't until the events of "The Heart", near the very end of the series, that they finally get it.
  • Beavis and Butt-Head:
    • Stewart seems to believe Beavis and Butt-head are his best friends, despite how often they bully, insult, and get him into trouble. This is shown in the clip show Series Fauxnale "Beavis and Butt-Head are Dead" where his flashback remembering the duo had them hanging out like old friends and talking like they came out of an episode of Leave It to Beaver.
    • On the other hand, Beavis and Butt-head want to be friends with Todd, despite how often he bullies, insults, beats them up, and gets them into trouble. They don't mind being assaulted by him, and they think he only does it because he is "cool".
  • Code Monkeys: Todd claims he is the best developer at Game-O-Vision, he is very attractive, and is adored by his co-workers. In actuality, his games are no better or worse than anybody else's, he's an obese nerd, and his co-workers find his ego annoying. The only characters who tolerate him are Jerry or (Depending on the Writer) Black Steve.
  • Danny Phantom: Throughout their lives since college, Jack always saw Vlad as his best friend and practically idolized the guy, unaware of the sheer hatred Vlad felt towards him for causing the accident that hospitalized him and gave him his powers, as well as for marrying Maddie, the woman Vlad wanted for himself. Only in the Grand Finale Phantom Planet did Jack finally see what Vlad truly is.
  • In Darkwing Duck, despite Drake Mallard always responding to Herb and Binky Middlefoot intruding on his life with seething sarcasm, they never pick up on it and Herb thinks he and "Drake-a-rooney" are best friends.
  • DuckTales (2017): Della Duck never picks up on how much Penumbra hates her no matter how obvious she makes it while they're on the moon, even fondly saying she misses Penumbra constantly trying to stab her when she gets back to Earth.
  • Futurama: Sometimes Dr. Zoidberg is oblivious to being The Friend Nobody Likes, and thinks all his co-workers are his close friends. In "The Six Million Dollar Mon", he's genuinely shocked when Hermes tells him he's not his friend, even if Hermes openly hates Zoidberg more than anyone and is always verbal about it. Yet the same episode implies he's subconsciously aware of it with his spot-on impression of what Hermes would say to him.
  • On Invader Zim, Zim himself is completely blind to the fact that his entire species hates him, due to his insanity and big ego tainting his view of reality, and because during Operation Impending Doom 1, he nearly destroyed the Irken's home planet.
  • The Legend of Korra: Prince Wu is a rather sweet person and genuinely friendly, who considers New Team Avatar (Korra, Asami, and Mako) the best friends he has. However, Wu's bratty, ditzy, and overly flirtatious attitude makes it hard for them to do more than tolerate him. It seems Wu is in the dark about how his behavior annoys them. He does get better as the season progresses. By the end of the season, Mako and Korra have warmed up to him and are proud of his decision to dissolve the monarchy.
  • She-Ra and the Princesses of Power: Scorpia is always friendly, and at times, motherly, with Catra. However, Catra openly finds her annoying and incompetent, something Scorpia sees as just her playing around.
    Scorpia: Catra left me in charge! Can you believe it?
    Lonnie: Um, no. I really can't.
    Scorpia: She said "Scorpia, even you can't screw this up." Even me! Isn't she sweet?
  • The Simpsons:
    • Flanders is always friendly to Homer, despite all the times he tells him to shut up or go away and borrows his stuff without returning them and has either fantasized or actively plotted to make his life miserable and doesn't even bothers to keep it a secret. However, if Flanders is truly oblivious varies Depending on the Writer since there are some episodes that show Ned is fully aware of how much Homer dislikes him but puts up with it for the sake of being a good Christian.
    • Martin believed that he was popular with his classmates when in actuality, they find him annoying and laugh at him when he gets humiliated. He learns this the hard way in "Bart Gets An F" when Bart offers to help make him more popular in exchange for helping him study.
    • In "Homer's Enemy", Homer Simpson is utterly oblivious to how much Frank Grimes resents him until he gets told directly.
      Homer: Hey, Grimey, old buddy.
      Grimes: I'm not your buddy, Simpson. I don't like you. In fact, I hate you. Stay the hell away from me, because from now on, we're enemies.
      Homer: Okay. Do I have to do anything?
  • SpongeBob SquarePants: SpongeBob being unable to comprehend the fact Squidward hates him is so infamous that they provide the page image. SpongeBob firmly convinces himself that Squidward is his best friend, but in reality, Squidward hates him, and it can reach to the point of madness, with Squidward having no qualms against openly telling him as such to his face, and want nothing more than to be rid of him, sometimes to the point of actually wanting him dead. It can apply to Mrs. Puff to an extent, as SpongeBob calls her the best teacher ever, yet she’s constantly tired and frustrated of having to deal with his reckless driving which results in her calling him worthless and unteachable. Though if "SpongeBob, You're Fired" is taken to consideration, it's implied that SpongeBob is at least aware that Squidward hates him, but chooses to deny it and treat him as a friend. Considering how hated the latter is by most citizens of Bikini Bottom, it's understandable.
  • Steven Universe:
    • Steven is an All-Loving Hero with an optimistic streak that borders on ignorance, so he usually ignores Lars' vitriolic behavior.
    • Blue Diamond, due to a massive case of Lack of Empathy and It's All About Me, never realized that The Diamond Authority were a symbol of everything Pink Diamond despised and how much suffering she personally inflicted on Pink, even after finding out Pink Diamond was Rose Quartz. After her Heel Realization, she still didn't realize how uncomfortable it made Steven when she said she loved him.
  • Total Drama: Courtney is shocked to hear from Lindsay in Haute Camp-Ture that the rest of the contestants are no more fond of her than they are of Heather.
    Lindsay: You just would have been kicked off in another episode. No one really liked you that much.
    Courtney: (gasps) That is so not true! Everyone likes me! I used to be a CIT!
  • Undergrads: Cal never seems to figure out that Rocko absolutely despises him. The opening photo montage of the show shows the four main characters growing up together as infants into college students, and most of the pictures feature Rocko physically assaulting Cal.


Video Example(s):


2 Minutes Notice

Fizz sings about how much of a bad boss Mannon has been and how he's quitting working for him, all while Mannon is completely clueless about the song being aimed at him, as he has no idea Fizz dislikes him.

How well does it match the trope?

5 (24 votes)

Example of:

Main / TakeThisJobAndShoveIt

Media sources: