Anime Abandon, while it focuses on Sage reviewing anime, has a core cast of characters who factor into the insanity.
The on-screen persona of Bennett White, Sage is the focal character and the spotlight is on him when the other characters aren't around.
- Bad Boss: Sage generally treats Gabe like a peon and rarely shows him any respect. His treatment of Gabe when he goes blind is perhaps the crowning example.
- Catchphrase: "'Til next time." is the standard show closer, and "Hey there ho there!" is his intro to the Nuts and Bolts videos. For a long time, some variant of "Our story begins..." would lead off the actual discussion of the anime in question.
- Depraved Bisexual: Sage has shown a rather perverse taste for both sexes over the course of the show's run. Bennett himself averts this, and refers to himself as "mostly straight" in the Devil Hunter Yohko review.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Some of the more vicious things he's done to Gabe are prompted by the latter deliberately antagonizing Sage when he's been somewhat more well-behaved. That said Sage's responses are way over board in terms of severity.
- Everyone Has Standards: He's pretty liberal about the depravity he subjects Gabe to but accidentally gouging one of his eyes out was going a bit far for Sage, not that this stopped him from screwing with Gabe when the latter fully blinded himself later on.
- Nice Hat: Sage's multicolored flatcap; it's the distinction between Bennett and Sage, as Bennett doffs the cap when he wants to speak to something on a personal level. He got the hat from his brother, who bought it from the Jameson distillery in Cork, Ireland on a family trip but hardly wore it after they came home.
Gabe is Sage's friend and hapless co-worker who works on the technical details of the show as it's being recorded.
- Ascended Extra: Gabe began life on the show with just a bit part with a few of Bennett's other friends, and went on to be one of the most recurring characters.
- Butt-Monkey: Whenever Gabe appears he's usually forced to do something painful and/or humiliating, such as eating a bowl of Legos or being force fed Ovaltine. In the "Nuts and Bolts" commentary for InuYasha the Movie: Affections Touching Across Time, Bennett and Marc the Engineer remark that Gabe is often the driving force behind making him suffer and he puts all his effort into the effect; for example, they say that there was no foley work when he headbutted his keyboard.
- The Dog Bites Back: In the "Nuts and Bolts" commentary for Ninja Resurrection, Marc notes that for every ten terrible things that Sage does to Gabe, on the eleventh Gabe manages to get back at him in some manner.
- Eye Scream: Gabe would eventually be blinded by two instances of this. In the Jungle de Ikou! review, Sage accidentally put out Gabe's left eye when Gabe tried to stop him from doing it to himself. Gabe would later self-inflict this during the Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence review by attempting to put a computer cable into his other eye.
- Laser-Guided Karma: Gabe is at risk of injury and trauma at almost anytime but it's usually incidental and unintended on Sage's end or at least not premeditated. The really vicious stuff tends to happen when Gabe deliberately screws with Sage while the latter hasn't done anything too awful.
- Only One Name: In commentary Bennett jokes about this, noting that he's just Gabe, no last name.
- Put on a Bus: Gabe's last appearance was in the review for Pokémon: The First Movie, and his absence has, to date, not been addressed in-universe. Starting with the Orguss 02 review, Suave now sits at the computer Gabe normally sat at, and with the reboot of the show in mid-2019, Gabe's presence appears to have been completely removed from the AA-verse.
Censor Kaiser is Anime Abandon's means of keeping the show from being age-restricted due to the nudity that occasionally shows up. He is very dedicated to his job, and really doesn't like Suave.
- Ascended Extra: Censor Kaiser evolved from a choppy cropped picture to a fully animated, fully audible character. During the top 10 Anime Abandon moments Sage even says that part of the reason for the upgrade was for him to be a better defined character and interact with the rest of the cast.
- Badass Boast: He gives an epic one after his "rebirth" in the Apocalypse Zero review.I am the light in the darkness! I am the hope of the universe! I am the answer to all living things that cry out for decency! I AM CENSOR KAISER! ALLY TO MODESTY, NIGHTMARE TO PERVS!
- Engrish: His original version spoke in horribly broken English with a stereotypical Japanese accent.
- Knight Templar: Censor Kaiser is very fanatical about his censorship duties, to the point that Sage pestering him to not censor a scene featuring exposed breasts caused him to rage so hard that he exploded.
- Stepford Smiler: Pre-Art Evolution, Censor Kaiser was always smiling, even when he was absolutely furious. Of course, this had more to do with him being a shoddily-animated crop of a photograph, but still...
Suave is one of Bennett's other characters, a perverted lech who brings a naughty edge to the show and has occasionally guest-hosted for more fanservice-heavy titles like Golden Boy and Eiken.
- Casanova Wannabe: Suave seems to be doing his best to channel Hugh Hefner, as he's never seen without a smoking jacket (and shirtless under it) and the occasional glass of scotch. He did the second ever AA review (Golden Boy), listing off techniques for getting the ladies that the anime's lead character puts to work. He also did the review of Eiken in a similarly sleazy manner, leading Sage to yell at the end of the review that he was never doing another one again, although he came back for the Viper GTS and I Dream of Mimi reviews. More often, Suave just shows up in several reviews to add perverted commentary to certain scenes, usually annoying Sage in the process.Censor Kaiser: [horrified] Are you more boner than man?!
- "May your glasses and your beds always be full!"
- "Greetings, hapless nerds!"
- Sad Clown: He shows signs of this.Sage: Before you even start, no.
Suave: Oh, come on! I've been waiting here for like half an hour for my chance. Please, let me just have this one.
Sage: You know what, fine. Go ahead.
Suave: I have a grand organ too.
Sage: You happy now?
Suave: I've never been happy.
- Urban Legend Love Life: There are some hints that Suave isn't nearly as successful with the ladies as he likes to claim, such as his scene during the "Top 10 Anime Abandon Moments" video where it looks like he's on the verge of scoring...and he descends into gibberish and faints.
Savage is the newest of Sage's characters. Introduced in the Riding Bean review, he's a super-exaggerated parody of 80s-era machismo.
- A Day in the Limelight: His was actually his debut, as he was the host for the Riding Bean review. Since then, he's been relegated to bit appearances like Suave, with Sage treating him with the same degree of annoyance.
- Hidden Depths: He gives a surprisingly thoughtful argument as to the character's actions in the Baki the Grappler review, surprising Sage and Suave.
- No Indoor Voice: He always speaks in a loud, raspy growl.
- Shirtless Scene: He's very prone to tearing his shirt off Hulk Hogan-style, sometimes doing it multiple times in the same review.
- Sunglasses at Night: A variant, in that he's wearing sunglasses indoors.
- Testosterone Poisoning: Savage personifies a lot of meatheaded masculine stereotypes, particularly of 80s movies and professional wrestling.Savage: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! CHUG!
Suave: You Philistine! You don't chug a 15-year-old Highland Park!
Savage: Unless you're a MAN!
Just as Sage is a persona of Bennett, Marc the Engineer is a persona of voice actor Marc Swint. Marc in RL takes care of a lot of Anime Abandon's behind-the-scenes production, and also helps Bennett with the scripts. In the AA-verse, Marc the Engineer seems to have a similar role although it's not as well defined. He doesn't like Sage and makes little effort to conceal it, although outside the show Marc and Bennett are good friends, and they co-host the Nuts and Bolts commentaries.
- Bad Boss:
- It's not clear if he has any actual authority but Marc has done his fair share of horrible things to Sage and Sage is implicitly subservient to him.Sage: [during the Amon Saga review] Well, they've established it pretty early that they don't give a shit at all, so if they're not going to care, I sure as hell won't. *takes off his hat*
*cut to Marc at his desk*
Marc: Yes you will.
*cut back to Sage*
Sage: Yes sir. *puts the hat back on, looking like a whipped puppy*
- Gabe's not much better off, outright fearing him as much as he does Sage. The worst Marc is seen to do is yell at him but it's implied he's at the bottom of the totem pole among the three.
- It's not clear if he has any actual authority but Marc has done his fair share of horrible things to Sage and Sage is implicitly subservient to him.
- Goth: Dresses the part with his preference for black clothing, including trench coats and nail polish. In the Super Toolshed podcast he states that he's a Goth.
- Out of Focus: Marc's role shrank more and more in the 2014s-2016s and he only seldom appears on the show in person; that said, Marc still works behind the camera in animation and scripting.
- Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: Marc seems to barely tolerate Sage and does his job extremely grudgingly. He also doesn't hesitate to yell at Sage when he thinks it's deserved, and sent him the InuYasha movie specifically to torment him.
The devil incarnate, or at least some malevolent asshole who thinks he is. Devil Sage often initiated crossovers or cameos in other people's videos all to torment them.
- The Corrupter: To most of the people he interacts with, but especially JesuOtaku. After reviewing High School Of The Dead together, Jesu realizes that he likes the show for its stupidity and bad ideas and not in spite of them; with this revelation, Devil Sage disappeared leaving only his clothing. Jesu dons them and goes off to spread shitty anime to the rest of the site, to follow in his footsteps.
- Evil Counterpart: Back when JesuOtaku was a major anime reviewer on the site, Sage often played his antagonist with Jesu focusing on a multitude of anime good or bad whilst Sage sought nostalgic anime that were normally terrible. Eventually it was retconned into Devil Sage being the one antagonizing him and the conflict was largely dropped when Jesu left video making (though their enmity did end on a positive note).
- Eviler Than Thou: Crueler and more depraved than Ask That Guy with the Glasses.
- Faux Affably Evil: A fake-polite, largely passive aggressive douchebag. His line after sending JesuOtaku another creepy fetish anime:I give because I care, Jesu.
- Put on a Bus: Bennett eventually opted to use his regular Sage persona for crossovers rather than the Devil Sage character and as such Devil Sage has been more or less retired from the show.
- Retcon: Originally Devil Sage was just the Sage character with the joke being that he was a terrible person. Eventually Bennett decided to retcon it so that Devil Sage and regular Sage were two different characters. Since the retcon, Devil Sage has largely been phased out with Bennett opting to use the regular Sage persona for future crossovers.
Some kind of malevolent inter-dimensional sentient virus with a knowledge of the 80s. Animated by Marc and voiced by Bill Rogers, he showed up in the review for Bubblegum Crisis.
- Conspicuous CGI: A fully CGI character. Sage thinks he looks like he came from the "Money for Nothing" video.
- Expy: Of Max Headroom.
- Sinister Shades: Futuristic sci-fi shades to boot. Marc notes that Fax's model has no eyes and the shades work to cover that.
- Shout-Out: In commentary Marc notes that his design was inspired by Lupin III, and his jacket colors were a reference to Virtuosity.