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Characters / Awful Hospital - The Burgrr, Inc. Personnel

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Main Character Index | The Mother And Her Son | Companions Of The Mother | The Hospital Staff | The Hospital Patients And Visitors | Burgrr Inc. Personnel | The Abyss | The Morgue | The Library | The Cafe | Inert Sub-Concept Vessel MG-0908-BN/SK/HL-3900438093990 | The Worms | The Parliament | The Dolphins | Unaffiliated Entities
The good folks of Burgrr, Inc. know that the most important ingredients of all are the people who walk through their doors.

Covers all employees of the Burgrr Inc., restaurant franchise. They are known to other Zones as the Recombinators.

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Kiss the cook.

It's a hamburger. Or maybe it's a cheeseburger. Whatever. Things squirm in its rancid, dribbling ground beef. Its unblinking eyeballs bulge hungrily. It's such a ludicrous sight you almost don't notice the blood-stained cleaver.

This rotting assembly of meat, wheat products, and vermin is employed as a chef at the hospital's cafeteria. Though he might look simple, he's surprisingly agile with a meat cleaver.

     BBQ Girll
Garrulous, gleeful, genki grill girl.

BBQ Girll: We will need to conceptualize the appropriate deverberator, and unfortunately, we are not cleared for manifestation outside our conceptual zones. We will need you to bring back the correct materials from The Hospital.
Fern: ...What kind of "materials?"
BBQ Girll: Don't sweat it, bubbleguts, we made you a list.

An anthropomorphic barbecue grill with corporate cheer and spirit to spare. She appears to manage the Burgrr facility adjacent to(?) the hospital's cafeteria.

     Double Doors(?!?!)
You're not leaving on an empty stomach.

Double Doors: There's only one way out of here with that thing, and you're prooobably not gonna like it near as much as I am. It's really really funny to me.

The pair of doors leading into the hospital's cafeteria, which can speak directly into the protagonist's mind. It's witty and generally friendly, though it does push the cafeteria's meals a tad aggressively. Its name is )(_)(.


     Stone Slab 

For information about this employee, please click here.

     The Redheaded Employee / "Miss"
Yeah, Earth was destroyed by monsters, but nobody back there mattered to her anyway.

Miss: How you holding up, anyway?
Fern: "Holding up?"
Miss: Wwweeeee don't really get all that many... human being people lately. Not since home got all, you know.
The young lady makes a breathy mouth sound and gesticulation representative of something exploding.

A young redheaded human woman, working as a Burgrr cashier, alongside Stone Slab.

  • Conditioned to Accept Horror: Even before the events of Awful Hospital, she was already experiencing branchitization and began to see things that most people from the Grey Zone could not. She got used to it over time, so by the time the Grey Zone got messed up, it was just the tip of the iceberg for her.
  • Fantastically Indifferent: As Fern notes, she is awfully calm about the apocalypse back on Earth.
  • Forced Sleep: Can invoke this with her phone, using what the comic calls Sigh Wave.
  • Guest-Star Party Member: Joins the team for a battle against a Folder, but Bogleech has stated that having her join permanently would cause too many delays.
  • Homeworld Evacuation: Somehow, she was able to survive and escape the Gray Zone's apocalypse and found a new life for herself here at Burgrr.
  • McJob: Her vocation, here at Burgrr.
  • A Million Is a Statistic: Basically the reason she manages to be so Fantastically Indifferent. What happened to her homeworld was just so weird and on such a large scale that she can't really contextualize it enough to be upset about it.
  • No Name Given: She's a rebellious teen who isn't on the best terms with her family as well as transgender. When Fern asks for her name, she says she's undecided and still working on it. She eventually lets Fern go with "miss".
  • Non-Standard Character Design: She's the first bona fide human being Fern's encountered since she was brought to the Hospital, (not counting Dr. Man,) whose body has normal, natural coloration.
  • Pro-Human Transhuman: Her time in the zones has given her all sorts of superhuman fatigue inducing abilities through her phone, and she prefers Fern's company over that of her co-workers.
  • Reluctant Warrior: She's not a particularly violent sort, but when the Folder attacks, we get to see she's not just much more durable than you'd think, she can use her phone to fire attacks.
  • Token Human: She's the first proof that they exist in other non-Gray places besides The Hospital!
  • Transgender: According to Word of God, which is implied to be part of why she's on bad terms with her mother.
  • The Slacker: She doesn't have much interest in working hard. When she was supposed to be watching the front counter she simply propped up a mop to take her place while she sat in the break room.
  • The Stoner: Miss replied "lucky" to being informed that Fern was gassed and now acting loopy. Later when having to prod Fern now in a slob body out of the store she thinks to herself "I miss being high".

     Dr. Everton Morteus Balmer 

For information on this employee, click here.

     Vending Machine 

For information about this employee, please click here.


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