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Characters / Awful Hospital The Library

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Covers everyone who hails from the Library.
"Books are uniquely portable magic." — Stephen King

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     Professor Lexicovermus
"There are secrets at the heart of every story; there is something that must be uncovered or discovered, both by the reader and by the characters." — Hannah Kent

Professor Lexicovermus: For no charge at all, I'll letcha nice morsels pick out ONE fiiine item from your ever-growin' shelf here at our faaantabulous intrazonal omnipotentual library! Whatever ya pick out, I can pass on to anybody else ya like! Even this savory green protagonator ya seem to enjoy pushin' around lately! Plenty-a things she don't know yet in all them tasty files n' journals n' whatnot! You pick it out, she gets to read it! Better choose reeeeal careful-like! Next time might be life n' death, ya never do know!

In addition to their ability to guide and direct Fern's actions, the Commentators have access to a most uncanny library full of special supplemental reading material. Personnel files, blogs... even prose stories, all relating to other characters Fern has met. Fern isn't able to access any part this library, herself, (apart from material she, herself, has collected in-story.) Nor are her well-meaning Commentators able to share any of this library's information to her through commentary.

All that changed in the middle of hunting for the anomaly within the Inert Vessel. Fern and her team stumbled upon a strange book, containing this bibliophilic fellow from The Library. He addresses the Commentators directly and cuts a most unusual deal with them: if they promise to read more books from their own local libraries, he'll allow Fern access to a single item from the Commentators' library. But they have to choose which one.

  • And I Must Scream: We can only hope that book the Professor's popping out from is purely a work of fiction. Because if not, that means Professor Lexicovermus transformed a random human being into a series of books and is in the process of eating this poor person. And the transformed victim in question is still fully conscious and aware while it's happening.
  • Benevolent Monsters: Although Professor Lexicovermus was a bookworm first introduced in the Inert Vessel arc, he's not affiliated with any of THOSE worms.
  • Bookworm: But of course.
  • Clairvoyance: When the Commentators decided to share Mizer's Evaluation with Fern, Professor Lexicovermus sent it to her in the form of a clairvoyant vision.
  • Flanderization: The second time Fern encounters the Professor, he won't even acknowledge her at all, and just acts far less... professorial than before.
    Fern: ...Do you even hear me talking? At all?
  • From a Certain Point of View: Not all the Library's offerings come in written format.
    All at once, your mind floods with a meeting between the little doctor Phage and that grotesque, needle-headed Doctor Mizer. You're not exactly sure how this constitutes "reading" a "book" from "the library" but you no longer really question these things.
  • From Beyond the Fourth Wall: Data which was meant for the Commentators' eyes only will be disclosed to Fern, thanks to this guy.
  • Magical Library: There can be no doubt that the Professor's home zone is every inch as paranormal as The Hospital or Burgrr, Inc.
  • Meaningful Name: 'Lexicovermus' is basically Latin for 'bookworm.'
  • "Reading Is Cool" Aesop: The Professor's bargain with the Commentators. Most of them were agreeable to it.
  • They Look Like Us Now: The book that the Professor's eating seems to recall having a professor with a voice like Lexicovermus', back when it was a human being...
  • Unexpected Character: Nobody was expected the sort of fourth wall breach like the Professor brought.


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