The original title of that episode was "Osama Bin Laden Has a Small Penis."
Just the fact the first episode after the terrorist attacks addresses this. Good show buddy. Good show.
In "Casa Bonita", Cartman's mad dash through the titular restaurant surely counts. The police are on his heels, and he manages to sample every attraction in the place in less than 60 seconds. This climaxes with him diving off a waterfall into the pool, where the police finally catch up with him:
Officer: Well, kid, you've lost all your friends, made us all panic for nothing, and now you're going to Juvenile Hall! Was it worth it?
Cartman: (wistfully, without a bit of regret) Totally.
Kyle gets his during "It's Christmas in Canada". After Cartman keeps threatening to beat him up for causing him to miss Christmas, Kyle, with reluctance, lightly hits him once... and he starts bawling.
At the end of "Kenny Dies", Kyle and Stan discover Cartman used the stem cells to replicate his favorite restaurant instead of using them to save Kenny. Kyle proceeds to beat the crap out of him and Stan gleefully calls him Kenny's worst friend, and neither suffer repercussions.
Kenny: Take... that! You dick! That is for me, and that, that and that, that and that, that, that, that!
Stan: Oh my God! Kenny... killed... Death!
Kyle: You... bastard?
Afterwards, Kenny reaches into Death's corpse, pulls out a strawberry ice cream cone, and starts licking.
After years of telling Cartman not to, Kyle finally calls his own mother a bitch in "Fun With Veal".
The boys are keeping baby cows safe. Cartman is actually pretty decent in this episode, since before the other boys can mess anything up, he takes on the negotiator. The boys at first think he's gonna hand over a calf, and then...
Negotiator: How about we make a trade, just show that we can trust each other. Cartman: What do you have in mind? Negotiator: Well, how about you send out one of the calves? Cartman: Oh, Mike, you're breakin' my balls here, Mike. Negotiator: Just one, that's all we want. Cartman: All right, how 'bout this? You guys have all the leverage and we have nothing. So how about we give you one calf... Stan: Cartman, no! Kyle: Dude! Cartman:[holds out his palm to silence them and clears his throat] We'll give you one calf, if you give us... some guns and ammunition of our own. Negotiator: What? I, I can't do that. Cartman: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were talkin' here, but I guess you're not talkin' to me. Goodbye. Negotiator: No no wait, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Y-you're right. What reason do you have to trust me? I'm just a guy from Lakewood trying to make ends meet, you know? Just a blue-collar guy like your dad. Cartman: Don't have a dad, Mike. That's not gonna work. Negotiator: Oh. All right, fine, son of a gun, let me see what I can do.
The best moment is when he gets a crate of ammunition and weapons into the room, and while he's negotiating, you see Kyle and Butters assembling a couple of weapons in the background. Thanks to Cartman, they last six days, keep all the calves with them, and get everything they want (except North and South Dakota). That's longer than most hostage situations last.
Plus, thanks to having Cartman around, they even get food supplies through his mom, who goes as soft on him as ever. For once, this is an episode where Cartman really pulls his weight because he knows how to play the grown-ups too.
Stan takes on John Edward in "The Biggest Douche in the Universe". Sure, it's a little anvilicious.
In "Whale Whores", Stan shoots a flare gun at a Japanese whaling ship and blows up its fuel tanks and then turns a sloppy reality show into a hardcore vigilante group.
Cartman blasting a Slayer CD over Woodstock-size speakers to drive away hippies in "Die Hippie, Die". Which he reached by mowing down a whole group of them with a giant drill.
Cartman brings back old-school piracy in "Fatbeard" by hijacking a ship. With TOYS. "Now THAT'S a pirate ship." He goes on to turn the vicious, bloodthirsty Somali pirates who tried to ransom him off into his loyal, shanty-singing crew (complete with Awesome Music seen here) and for a few glorious days actually lives the life of a romantic-era pirate captain. Of course, South Park being what it is, this doesn't stick... although in this situation, it was because of an anvil that needed dropping coupled with Surprisingly Realistic Outcome. For extra points, it was karma against a He Who Fights Monsters level gambit by the other boys. Kyle eggs Cartman to go to Somalia when he is convinced it is some magical land of swashbuckling pirates, happily convinced he'll be dead in days of entering there. Not only has Cartman made the place his own by then, but when Kyle, realising he dragged Ike with him, beelines there to stop him, he gets kidnapped by Cartman's new crew.
"It doesn't matter who we are. What matters is our plan. You should have respected my authoritah."
When the head of NAMBLA tries to make a point about tolerance and acceptance for people like himself in "Cartman Joins NAMBLA", Kyle shuts him down the best and only way one can:
Kyle: Dude. You have sex. With. CHILDREN. Stan: Yeah! You know, we believe in equality for everybody and tolerance, and all that gay stuff, but dude, fuck you. Kyle: Seriously.
Cartman gets one in "The F Word" when he approaches a bunch of very loud and annoying bikers, who are talking to one another...
Cartman: You guys know that everyone thinks you're total fags, right? Biker Leader:...What did you say? Cartman: You know, when people like you drive down the street with your unnecessarily loud motorcycles thinking you're all cool. Everyone is actually laughing at you and calling you pathetic faggots. You do realize this, right? Random Biker:...Hey man, we roll how we roll, and if people are annoyed or intimidated by it, that's too bad for them! Cartman: No no, no, nobody is intimidated, actually. Everyone realizes that people who are so needy for attention they need to dress up and be as loud as possible are you guys and sixteen-year-old girls! Just wanted to let you know, you're fuckin' fags. (walks away) Random Biker: ...That little boy just called us fags.
The Super Adventure Club's security is leading the boys out the door to prevent them from saving Chef, and Kyle grabs the first object in sight and whacks both guards. Went by unnoticed, but that's got to count for something.
Kenny somehow propelling himself across the room to deliver a "Spin Blossom Nut Squash" headbutt into the guard's crotch.
Cartman's A Clockwork Orange-style fight with Mosquito. This is a SHOT-FOR-SHOT homage to the Flat Block Marina scene from the movie.
When Cartman is grounded, because it was a very powerful moment for Ms. Cartman.
This gets topped in the next episode, "Mysterion Rises", where it's revealed that Mysterion does have an actual superpower... Because he's Kenny, he can't die. This is a simultaneous instance of Moment of Awesome, Funny Moments, Fridge Brilliance, Fridge Horror, andCursed with Awesome, since nobody else can remember his deaths.
Then, in "Coon vs Coon and Friends", Bradley Biggle, AKA Mintberry Crunch defeated Cthulhu with the power of mint and berries.
Most of The Coon's and Cthulhu's murdering spree is both awesome and hilarious, but their massacre of Justin Bieber and his fans stands out.
In the same episode, the Oh, Crap! look on everyone's face when they realize that the Coon is controlling Cthulhu, who promptly banishes them to another dimension. Later, even this gets topped by Mysterion's massive tirade against the Coon.
Mysterion: You little fucking prick! What is wrong with you?! What kind of sick fuck does that to his friends?!
In fact, all of Mysterion's confrontation against the Coon counts.
Cartman: It's not my fault you guys turned evil, Kenny! Mysterion: You are the bad guy, Cartman! You! The Coon: I'm makin' the world a better place! Mysterion:For you! You're making it a better place for you! The Coon:[beat]Riight, that's what superheroesdo. Mysterion: No. This is what superheroes do...
The whole Coon & Friends trilogy can be considered a crowning moment of awesome for Kenny, even. Good-freaking-luck looking at him the same in earlier episodes now.
Mysterion: KILL ME, CTHULU! KILL ME BEFORE I KILL YOU!
The fact that he called Cthulhu "pussy" and "wuss" only makes it better.
The Coon turning down Mysterion's dare and "Cute Kitten" Cthulhu back to his rampage, marking the second time he has outsmarted Mysterion.
Kyle pins Cartman against a tree by his throat and threatens him to never again insinuate that he is from New Jersey. Seeing Cartman crying afterwards really made up for some of his Karma Houdini tendencies.
Kyle turns into Kyley-B and saves Cartman from being raped by Snookie.
"Make Love Not Warcraft": Stan and the others defeat the griefer with the Sword of a Thousand Truths. Stan uses the sword to dispel the griefer's defensive buffs, Kenny fires an arrow into his chest, Kyle lobs a fireball at him, and finally Cartman smashes his head in with a hammer, but not before delivering a classic Pre-Mortem One-Liner:
They actually acknowledged Karen McCormick's existence, after so many years!
Kenny, in response to the foster parents dousing their foster children in Dr. Pepper for not living up to their agnostic beliefs, takes advantage of the fact that Cartman alerted the Child Protective Services, replaces their Dr. Pepper with beer, and gets them arrested.
"More Crap": Stan gets a minor one when he tells Bono "At some point, can't you just kind of... fuck off?" when he mentions everything else Bono has.
From "Faith Hilling", Cartman's amazing public display of defiance towards other memeing trends and proclamations of loyalty to the titular meme. IN SONG.
"A Nightmare on Face Time", the boys, dressed as The Avengers, attempt to go into action, when they spot the Kum & Go store being robbed, even if they do bail out a moment later. Kenny, who we are able to hear clearly throughout the episode, gives tactical orders behind the voice-changing Iron Man mask; considering his leadership skills as Mysterion, there's something undeniably cool about that.
Cartman: Oh, let me taste your tears! The tears of unfathomable sadness!
The way Scott just stares at Cartman as he explains everything (which surely the audience is also doing) makes it even more awesome.
In "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow", Cartman won't allow Kyle onto the helicopter until he gives him his "Jew gold". He takes it out... and proceeds to throw it into the fire to piss him off!
In "Titties and Dragons", Bill Gates and the founder of Sony arrive at Red Robins while the fourth graders are there during the war over video game consoles. It turns out that Stan contacted them because he was sick of seeing everyone else fight, ultimately ending the war.
Stan: You want a war so bad? [tosses the Sony executive his little wooden sword] Then you fuckin' fight.
In "Safe Space", Kyle is ordered to either filter the negative comments out of Cartman's Twitter feed or face detention. Kyle takes the detention without question. Wendy follows immediately afterward. Neither character will betray their principles just so Cartman can avoid getting his feelings hurt.
Every time Kenny survives a episode, especially in earlier seasons where they were very rare.
Cartman & Kyle teaming up and raiding an Airport Hilton to stop Miss Stevenson and Ike in "Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy", along with Cartman busting Miss Stevenson and Ike earlier in the same episode.note Cartman & Kyle don't even insult each other when they team up.
Cartman: You like bear mace, ice head?! Miss Stevenson: Bear mace?! Cartman: You're going with Christ! (maces her)
Just when it seems like Gerald is going to get away with framing Ike, Kyle puts together all that he knows about skankhunt42 and realizes that his dad is the troll.
Kyle: "You see, I've learned something today. Throughout this whole ordeal, we've all wanted to show things that we weren't allowed to show, but it wasn't because of some magic goo; it was because of the magical power of threatening people with violence. That's obviously the only true power! If there's anything we all learned, it's that terrorizing people works!"
Jesus: "That's right! Don't you see, gingers? If you don't want to be made fun of anymore, all you need are guns and bombs to get people to stop!"
Santa: "That's right, friends. All you need to do is instill fear and be willing to hurt people, and you can get whatever you want! The only true power... is violence!"
In "Not Funny", Kyle is able to control the highest ranking member of the US government just by being what he's always been, a kid who's much smarter than his teacher.
In "Franchise Prequel", the way the boys (and the rest of Coon & Friends) take down Mark Zuckerberg is very impressive. Kyle, Jimmy, and Token fight Zuckerberg in the middle of main street and get in a few good hits before they are beaten by him. But then, Cartman goes into a monologue about how the three of them were protesters trying to promote justice for black people, the handicapped, and Jews that Zuckerberg took down. Zuckerberg tells him that's not true to which Cartman points to the side to reveal Craig filmed the whole thing on Facebook Live and the video is going viral. Zuckerberg is forced to take down the site, foiling Professor Chaos' plan. The icing on the cake is that after his plan is foiled, the Coon & Friends told his parents about his actions, leading Butters' dad to ground him AND Vladimir Putin for giving him the idea in the first place,referring to Russia's ostensible interference in the 2016 US Presidential Election. The fact that Butters' dad grounded his son for spreading lies across Facebook is also very awesome, since this time, out of all the times he unfairly grounded Butters, it's actually justified as punishment.
In "Doubling Down", Cartman actually challenges Kyle into a fight, even pushing him against a locker, the moment Heidi starts dating him after breaking up with Cartman. Considering how afraid Cartman is of physical confrontation, and against the guy who hates him the most, that’s pretty impressive.
Kyle later steals the moment by knocking out Cartman with one punch to the jaw while avoiding Cartman’s punch. It’s impressive as PC Principal had to beat Cartman bloody before he could knock him out and Wendy couldn’t knock him out despite beating him to a bloody pulp.
Cartman as a whole during "Obama Wins!". Even Stan lampshades how impressive it was for Cartman managing to steal thousands of voter ballots without being caught.
Cartman exposing Sally Struthers stealing food from the starving Ethiopians in "Starvin' Marvin".
In "Le Petit Tourette", the way Kyle foils Cartman's plan to make an anti-Semitic hate speech on Dateline NBCunder the guise of having Tourette's syndrome is both impressive and bizarre. Knowing he can't outright expose Cartman, Kyle instead teams up with a real TS sufferer, Thomas, and lures several pedophiles onto the show, whereupon they shoot themselves upon seeing Chris Hansen, thinking it to be a bust on To Catch a Predator, disrupting the event and preventing Cartman from making his speech. Granted, he didn't know Cartman had already given up on his plan, but it was still nevertheless a gambit one would normally expect Cartman to pull off.
Stan and Cartman cutting through a horde of zombies with chainsaws in "Pinkeye". What makes it so awesome is not only are two eight-year-olds going up against a zombie horde with nothing but melee weapons, but said zombies had previously been shown to possess a superhuman level of strength and had overwhelmed the rest of the town with ease.
In "Raisins", after Wendy breaks up with him for no reason and hooks up with Token, Stan tells them this at the end of the episode:
Stan: Hey, Wendy, you're a bitch. Token, (Flipping the Bird) right here buddy.
Stan starting a riot to break the COVID-19 restrictions. Also his speech beforehand talking about the Bread and Circuses society COVID has created.
"In Follow That Egg" the entire fate of legalizing gay marriage in Colorado is dependent entirely on Stan and Kyle Egg Sitting together as if it was their child for an school assignment. Garrison, bitter at Mr Slave for leaving him for Big Gay Al, deliberately tries to sabotage their assignment to prove that gay couples are incapable of parenting, even hiring an assassin to kill the egg. Stan and Kyle meanwhile survive multiple assassination attempts and gunfire and explosions in front of a live audience, then finally present the egg to Garrison, in absolutely perfect condition. Not only did they demonstrate that two boys can look after a kid, they demonstrated that they're willing to risk their lives and suffer serious injuries to protect that child in front of everyone. By the time the weight of what they have done is revealed to them and they're told how they just legalized gay marriage, they're completely baffled as to what is happening since they only did this to get an A on their assignment.
Stan:: Teacher.... our egg is... okay. (Holds the egg up for everyone to see as he collapses)
Doubling as a funny moment, we have Cartman switching his airsoft rifle from semi-auto to full automatic (which is not permitted when playing) and bombarding the chronic masturbator teen that had been staying at his house with pellets.
Throughout the entirety of the show every time Cartman attempts to physically fight Kyle, it ends up with Kyle either beating him in one punch or just inevitably overwhelming him with pain (bar "WTF", which can be chalked up to Rule of Funny, and the Season 1 episode "Damien", which wasn't too long before Kyle was established as being able to best him). When their future selves fight in Post-Covid however, Cartman not only puts up an actual fight, but he was winning.
At the end of the "Post-Covid: Return of Covid" special, it's revealed that Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were able to officially cut ties with Cartman without having to severe their friendships with each other. After dealing with Cartman's antics and manipulations throughout the entire show, the trio are able rid themselves of Cartman for good, live happy lives, and remain friends with each other, while Cartman is stuck homeless, miserable, and all alone, being forced to watch the "friends" he use to torment live far better lives than him. In short terms, the heroes (Stan, Kyle, and Kenny) have finally won while the villain (Cartman) has officially lost. Now that's a traditional good defeats bad ending at its finest.
He goes on to turn the vicious, bloodthirsty Somali pirates who tried to ransom him off into his loyal, shanty-singing crew (complete with Awesome Music seen here