Original air date: 4/22/2009
Thinking news of Somali pirates attacking ships is a return to the days of 16th century swashbucklers, Cartman convinces his friends to run off to Somalia.
Examples:
- An Aesop:
- Pirating isn't something to be romanticized. Ruthless Modern Pirates are forced to do what they do because the alternative is death, for themselves and their families.
- While middle-class life isn't perfect, it's something that millions of people around the world dream of having and it's foolish to throw it away for "adventure".
- And There Was Much Rejoicing: Kyle is overjoyed about Cartman going to Somalia to certain death, even going so far as to take credit for it. He does not even seem perturbed by the fact he took several classmates along with him (that is until he realizes one is Ike...).
- Bittersweet Ending: The kids are able to go back home but the Somalian pirates were slaughtered in the process.
- Captain Obvious: "...Clear."
- Character Catchphrase: Cartman constantly exclaims "the fuck?!" in this episode.
- Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys: The kids meet no resistance from the French vessel they board. To be fair to the crew, however, the pirates did have a toy lightsaber.
- Crazy Enough to Work: Cartman somehow persuades the Somali pirates into becoming swashbucklers, helped by the fact they weren't exactly in a better condition before. The one-legged pirate even seems pleasantly surprised with the makeshift peg leg Cartman made him wear.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Once the US Navy arrives to take down the pirates, the entire crew is gunned down by the snipers (except for the kids) without the latter being able to even fire a single shot back.
- First-World Problems: The reason the boys go to Somalia is because they're sick of school, listening to their parents, and Susan Boyle. When they tell one of the pirates, he tells them that he always hated the pirate life; he always dreamed of going to school and living peacefully but had to turn to a life of piracy because otherwise his family will die.
- Funny Background Event: As Cartman is trying to gather recruits on the intercom, Kyle is seen cringing, then burying his face in his desk when Cartman tells everyone Kyle told him that Somalia was perfect for piracy.
- Get A Hold Of Yourself Man: After Clyde is reduced to Inelegant Blubbering at the realisation Somalia isn't what was promised, Cartman has Ike do this to Clyde.Cartman: Ike, will you do something about Clyde, please?! [Ike slaps Clyde around the face] Very nice, Ike.
- He Who Fights Monsters: Kyle's borderline murderous hatred of Cartman is put on full display here. He is really banking on Cartman getting killed in Somalia. He also shows a shocking Lack of Empathy for the kids who go along with Cartman, even though none of them are nearly as antagonistic to him as Cartman is. The only reason he ultimately decides to go and rescue them is because his little brother Ike is part of their pirate crew.
- Idiot Ball: The French crew the boys meet thinks Kevin's lightsaber is a real functioning weapon instead of a toy.
- Jerkass Ball: Kyle had no problem sending Cartman and a few of his classmates to get killed in Somalia. That being said, he does head over to save them upon realizing Ike is with them.
- Karma Houdini: While he lost his crew, Cartman will likely face no punishment for leading a pirate crew to plunder boats, as the US Navy believes that he's also a hostage.
- Manipulative Bastard:
- By sheer persuasion alone, Cartman manages to convert a band of modern day pirates into quirky fictional-esque rogues complete with sea shanties.
- Likewise Kyle manages to convince Cartman that going to Somalia is a great idea and he believes him.
- Morality Pet: Ike is this to Kyle in this episode. It's when he learns that Ike is with Cartman and his classmates that Kyle goes over to Somalia to save them.
- My God, What Have I Done?:
- Kyle when he encourages Cartman's posse to go to Somalia to get killed, only to find out Ike went with him.
- Ike and Butters after speaking to Guleed, realize they gave up decent lives to do a dangerous job full of hardship.
- Pirate Episode: In which kids become classic swashbucklers and try to join the rampant piracy in Somalia.
- Pirate Song: Cartman tries to regiment a gang of modern day Somalian pirates into 16th century style treasure hunting rogues through a montage song shanty. It works.
- Pretty Little Headshots: How Cartman's band of pirates are all taken out at the end.
- Punch-Clock Villain: Guleed, one of the pirates, reveals he was forced into piracy because of his family's poverty, and spends every moment afraid of getting killed or his family dying if he can't support them. This leads to a My God, What Have I Done? moment from Ike and Butters.
- Ripped from the Headlines: The Maersk Alabama hijacking and its subsequent rescue was the inspiration for this episode.
- Running Gag: Cartman says "The fuck?!" more times than Kenny drops the F-bomb in a single season.
- Ruthless Modern Pirates: This episode is the Trope Namer for this trope's alternate name, "A Disgrace to Blackbeard".
- Shout-Out: One of the scrap pieces used to build the pirates' docks has the name "S.S. Minnow" written on it.
- Surprisingly Realistic Outcome: Cartman's attempt to make Somalian Ruthless Modern Pirates into pirates "worthy of Blackbeard" draws the attention of the U.S. Navy and gets his crew slaughtered. There's a reason why modern pirates use small fishing boats to extort ransoms instead of putting cannons on hijacked cruise ships.
- Take That!: In Ike's goodbye letter, he says that he'll puke his balls through his mouth if he hears people talk about Susan Boyle's performance on Britain's Got Talent one more time.
- Tempting Fate: At the end, Cartman boasts, "Me and my crew are gonna go on piratin' forever!" Immediately after, Navy sharpshooters take out all of the Somalian pirates.
