Funny / Mortal Kombat 11 – Pre-Match Intros

Continuing from Mortal Kombat X's intros, Warner Bros. and NetherRealm seem to have a lot of fun with these pre-match interactions, given how each character has a minimum of two with everyone else, including themselves.

Click here to return to the main Mortal Kombat 11 funny moments page.

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Intro Animations

• Erron Black's "Wanted Poster" intro has different values for each kombatant. Most of them are reasonable, as mentioned in the Fridge page, but there's something hilarious on how worth Johnny Cage is: $500. For the record, the next most worthy is the big bunch of kombatants who are worth... $100,000.
  • The implication that Johnny's sunglasses are the only part of him considered valuable.
  • His default intro has him walking in with a bloody burlap sack. He tosses it on the ground, and out rolls the severed head of Hsu Hao. One can't help but think this was Netherrealm's way of replying to the push to make Hsu Hao playable in MK11 with a definitive "Absolutely not."
  • Cetrion is the only character with a $999,999,999 reward like they Broke the Rating Scale. Erron Black will certainly be able to retire after that fight! It can make you wonder if the benefactor actually expects the reward to be claimed.
• Kano's default intro animation has him taking a leak on the ground. He will also relieve himself in his post-Brutality win pose. The intro is extra funny if he's the second fighter in the match and his opponent is someone like Sonya Blade, in which case they'll patiently wait for him to finish his business and turn around, rather than shoot the sucker while his back is turned. Guess even hardened criminals deserve a fair fight. Some dialogues thus become funnier if said intro does indeed play.
  • Kitana even calls him out on it. The funniest part is that Kitana considers Baraka, the cannibalistic Blood Knight, more civilized than Kano for not pissing everywhere. Which means even Baraka of all people has hygiene standards!
    Kitana: You soil every room you enter!
    Kano: Bloke's gotta mark his territory.
    Kitana: Even Baraka is more civilized.
    • As of the DLC, even Shang Tsung of all people is revolted by him.
      Shang Tsung: You have no dignity or manners, Kano.
      Kano: I'm the richest damn yobbo in Earthrealm!
      Shang Tsung: Disrespectful cretin.
    • And now Fujin has something to add about Kano's renegade bladder.
      Fujin: Only a fool relieves himself into the wind.
      Kano: Eh, what's the worst that could happen?
      Fujin: A painful fatality.
• One of Johnny Cage's variant intros has him lifting weights...with his Snazzy award, which he tosses aside with a distinct "clunk!" before kissing his bicep.
  • Another intro variant has him on the phone with his agent, and not liking what he's hearing.
    "Page 62, 'Johnny Cage dies'? Is someone high?!"
  • There's another version for if he's the second person to enter a match. Apparently he's so big in Earthrealm that he has his own convention... That's apparently having some budget issues.
    "CageCon doesn't exist without me! They can pay!" (Notices the other kombatant.) "Hold on, hold on."
    • The phone intro, alongside Cassie's text intro below, becomes extra funny on certain stages thanks to Fridge Logic. How the hell do the Cages get reception in Outworld, the Netherrealm, or even the beginning of time?
• Cassie's default variation intro has her sliding down a rope, upside down, and saying "'Sup." before blowing a bubble and nonchalantly dismounting.
  • Another of her intros is her texting someone, leading to several conversations.
    Vogel^* As in longtime MK developer John Vogel: Why's Raiden so serious?
    Cmdr Cage: Deep down, he's a 🃏 (Joker)
    
    Jacqui B: You aren't worried, Cass?
    Cmdr Cage: He's no samurai, Jac. ^note  For bonus points, this text message comes up when she faces Kotal Kahn, who is voiced by the voice actor who voiced Samurai Jack.
    
    Daddy: Sorry! Those pics were for mom!
    Cmdr Cage: Ya think?!
  • One of her text buddies is good ol' noobde^* Ed Boon's name backwards and his Twitter username once again:
    noobde: Kome on, krush him!
    Cmdr Cage: What's with all the K's?!
• The Time Sphere intro for the Terminator makes a nod to the original film by having various bits of trash fly about before the sphere forms. While this makes sense for certain stages, such as the Black Dragon Fight Club or the Black Market Alley, it starts getting a bit silly in places where things like Styrofoam cups or bits of newspapers are really out of place. For instance, the Fire Garden, the Sea of Blood, or the literal dawn of the universe.
• Similarly, Rambo hiding under a pile of leaves is a reference to his time in Vietnam. However, unlike the Terminator's Time Sphere intro, it looks completely out of place in pretty much all of the stages, with many fans joking that he's the franchise's Solid Snake.
  • When combined with Erron Black's "Wanted Poster" intro, if Erron Black were to talk first, he checks the Wanted Poster before Rambo emerges from the pile of leaves, making Rambo look like he doesn't know how to hide.
  • The out-of-place nature of Rambo's hiding is made even funnier with one of Scorpion's intros:
    Scorpion: You have a ninja's stealth.
  • The Helicopter intro seems completely normal in most cases. However, there's one particular dialogue with Sub-Zero that stands out. Apparently, Rambo can be stealthy when travelling via a helicopter.
    Sub-Zero: How did you evade my warriors?
    Rambo: Stealth and misdirection, that's all.
    Sub-Zero: Aren't you the sly one.

Intro Dialogue

• Noob has gained a far sharper tongue compared to his last appearance. As a result, many kombatants tend to get the short end of the stick from his snark.
  • Noob isn't impressed by Shao Kahn's attempt to recruit him to his side.
    Shao Kahn: Serve me and conquer realms!
    Noob: Name one realm you control.
    Shao Kahn: Sharp tongue, for a dead man.
    • And that's not his only jab at Shao Kahn, either!
      Noob: A Kahn with no throne...
      Shao Kahn: I will reclaim it!
      Noob: From beyond the grave?
  • Frost may have hated Kuai Liang, but Noob isn't about to go easy on her for that.
    Frost: You should have been Grandmaster.
    Noob: I would not allow female Lin Kuei.
    Frost: You're worse than Kuai Liang!
  • He also spares nothing towards his hated rival.
    Scorpion: Do not expect mercy!
    Noob: I expect incompetence.
    Scorpion: (obviously not pleased at being insulted) You will burn, Bi-Han!
  • Sibling rivalry at its finest:
    Noob: You disappoint me.
    Sub-Zero: The feeling is mutual, brother.
    Noob: Mother would be so proud.
• Johnny Cage is a wellspring of humorous moments with his intros, so it is hardly surprising for him to be here too.
  • He went a bit too far with his flirting ^note He didn't mean to (he wanted to compliment Cassie) but accidentally made it sound like he's trying to hit on her.:
    Johnny: What's cookin', good-lookin'?
    Cassie: Ugh, no! Seriously?!
    Johnny: Wait, what?! Not what I meant!
  • Cassie can easily tell when Johnny's feeling himself.
    Cassie: Pop quiz: worst film you ever made?
    Johnny: My flicks only come in 'awesome' or 'boom'.
    Cassie: (visibly rolls eyes) It's amazing I was ever born...
  • Johnny really wants Scorpion to be in a movie with him.
    Johnny Cage: C'mon, on merch alone, you'll be killing it!
    Scorpion: The Shirai Ryu are not for sale.
    Johnny Cage: Way to waste a cinematic universe...
    • He apparently won't quit bugging Scorpion about it, either.
      Scorpion: The answer remains no.
      Johnny Cage: But you'd be co-starring with yours truly!
      Scorpion: Exactly.
  • Johnny Cage and Geras, both seamlessly paying tribute to Blade Runner.
    Geras: I have... seen things you would not believe...
    Johnny: Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion?
    Geras: Time to die...
  • His penchant for trolling hasn't changed one bit, either:
    Sub-Zero: Call me Grandmaster.
    Johnny Cage: (mockingly imitating Sub-Zero's deep voice) Grandmaster Blueberry Ice.
    Sub-Zero: Even a CHILD has more discipline.
  • Got any embarrassing stories to share, Johnny?
    Johnny: Grandma Carlton told you my secret?!
    Cassie: (giggling) Johnny Pee-Pants?
    Johnny: I had one accident! ONE!
  • No one seems to believe Johnny Cage can beat an Elder God.
    Johnny: Earthrealm's savior has arrived!
    Geras: (sarcastically) Savior? Where?
    Johnny: Bullshit you haven't heard of me.
    
    Johnny: Once upon a time, I beat Shinnok!
    Shang Tsung, My, what a colorful imagination...
    Johnny: Look it up! I laid him out!
    
    Kitana: So you were to beat up Shinnok.
    Johnny: What is with people? Is it so hard to believe?
    Kitana: Yes.
    
    Shao Kahn: You bested Shinnok in kombat?
    Johnny: Old Fart Me will not shut up about it.
    Shao Kahn: I'll silence you both.
    • Scorpion, on the other hand, is willing to let Johnny prove his claim.
      Scorpion: How did you defeat Shinnok?
      Johnny: Yeah, it's all in the reflexes.
      Scorpion: Show me, Cage.
  • Apparently, Johnny Cage can't tell the difference between two names.
    Johnny Cage: How is Shao Kahn not a Shokan?
    Shao Kahn: It's irrelevant, imbecile.
    Johnny Cage: Dude, I LOSE SLEEP over shit like this!
  • Johnny would also like to have words with Raiden...
    Johnny Cage: Why wasn't I your Chosen One?^note Because Liu Kang was still a Revenant and iron-fisted ruler of the Netherrealm after the events of X, Raiden decided he needed to bolster Earthrealm's defenses, and for a time, Johnny was The Chosen One
    Raiden: Do you have all day, Johnny Cage?
    Johnny Cage: Yeah. I do.
  • Johnny takes umbrage with Geras disparaging his craft.
    Geras: Actors leave no mark on history.
    Johnny Cage: RONALD. REAGAN.
    Geras: The exception that proves the rule.
  • Apparently, Johnny's a little out of the loop on recent events.
    Johnny Cage: Since when are you and Sub-Zero besties?
    Scorpion: We joined forces to battle Quan Chi.
    Johnny Cage: Gotta stop missing story meetings...
  • Speaking of "story meetings":
    Johnny Cage: Your blue stone amulet stop cracking?
    Raiden: It disappeared in the time merger.
    Johnny Cage: So much for that MacGuffin.
  • Obviously, this sub-section wouldn't be complete without listing his Casanova Wannabe intros, flirting with almost every woman^note Except his daughter Cassie, and when he accidentally does he makes it clear it wasn't intentional. Of special mention are his dialogue with the Edenian women.
    Kitana: Step not one foot in Outworld.
    Johnny: C'mon, and deny your people this?
    Kitana: We'll live.
    
    Kitana: Now what, Earthrealmer?
    Johnny: Johnny Cage. Is. The Edenian Candidate!
    Kitana: By the gods, no.
    
    Johnny: My green magic, your green outfit...
    Jade: (giggles confidently) By the gods, no.
    Johnny: Your loss, sweetheart.
    
    Johnny: Dated a beauty queen that looked just like you.
    Jade: I pity that poor woman.
    Johnny: Pity me! She was insanely high maintenance!
    
    Jade: Earthrealm's women like you?
    Johnny: Like? The word is "worship".
    Jade: They have no standards.
  • Not even Cetrion is an exception to said Casanova Wannabe tendencies.
    Johnny: You thinking what I'm thinking?
    Cetrion: That you are a vapid, arrogant child?
    Johnny: Don't let that stop you.
    • Unfortunately, in another intro, Johnny admits he has one little problem with her...
      Johnny: Sorry, babe, the name ain't working.
      Cetrion: "Cetrion" embodies virtue and light.
      Johnny: Sounds like a damn insurance company!
    • By the look of both intros, it starts to make more sense when you realize the flirting intro sounds more like Past!Johnny, while the snarky intro sounds more like Present!Johnny.
  • Johnny has some choice words about Sindel's hairdo.
    Johnny: 1989 called, wants its hair back.
    Sindel: Hmph! My hair will be your doom, Johnny Cage.
    Johnny: It's definitely a nightmare.
  • Apparently, Sonya Blade is fed up with Johnny and threatens to punch him in the face, leading to this!
    Sonya: You are begging to be punched in the face.
    Johnny Cage: No, NO! Not the face!
    Sonya: Reverse psychology at its best.
  • What's funnier than Johnny Cage? TWO Johnny Cages.
    Johnny 1: Well, look at the two of us.
    Johnny 2: Star power to spare, homie!
    Johnny 1: We're gonna kill this summer's box-office.
    
    Johnny 1: We. Are. Sexy.
    Johnny 2: We are sexy bitches!
    Johnny 1: This is ri-goddamn-diculous.
    
    Johnny 1: I need an answer, it's killing me.
    Johnny 2: What's the trouble, double-double?
    Johnny 1: Are we "Johnny Cages", or "Johnnies Cage"?
    
    Johnny 1: I got it: twin cops!
    Johnny 2: We'll hunt down a triad gang leader!
    Johnny 1: Yes! And we'll call it "Double"--hmm...--"something".
    
    Johnny 1: I do my own stunts. You?
    Johnny 2: I got people for that.
    Johnny 1: Poseur.
    
    Johnny 1: No beard, so no evil, right?
    Johnny 2: Fight me and find out.
    Johnny 1: Okay... (chuckles) ...now I'm thinking evil.
    
    Johnny 1: Hands down, best stand-in ever.
    Johnny 2: I'm the star, you're the stand-in.
    Johnny 1: Keep dreaming, Mini Me.
    
    Johnny 1:: We're filming this, right?
    Johnny 2: Gotta get it in one take.
    Johnny 1: This is us you're talking about.
• When Noob and his sharp tongue meet Johnny Cage and his Troll attitude, it can only end in humor, oftentimes from both sides.
  • Turns out Johnny Cage didn't get the memo about not mocking dark people who are dark in a literal sense.
    Johnny Cage: Hey there, tall, dark and gruesome!
    Noob: An apt description.
    Johnny Cage: ...do you not get I'm mocking you?
    • Eventually, he wises up.
      Johnny Cage: Making you laugh is impossible.
      Noob: You admit defeat?
      Johnny Cage: Yes. You're the black hole of comedy.
  • Likewise, calling someone with an ego a legend is also ill-advised.
    Noob: Even legends die.
    Johnny Cage: Ha! You just called me a legend!
    Noob: Not at all.
• Like father, like daughter...
  Cassie Cage: Ever thought a Cage would outrank you?
  Jax: It's one of my worst nightmares!
  Cassie Cage: Boo!
  
  Cassie Cage: Can I say it, just once?
  Scorpion: Only if you wish to suffer.
  Cassie Cage: GET OVER HERE!
  • On the other hand, she does try to be helpful... sort of.
    Cassie Cage: Grandmaster Grumpy-Face.
    Scorpion: Do you challenge my honor?
    Cassie Cage: Just your sad-core outlook.
• Cassie has some choice words for Noob.
  Cassie: Talk about throwing shade...
  Noob: I am Shinnok's wrath.
  Cassie: Shinnok is my bitch!
• It's obvious to everyone that Liu Kang and Kitana are mutually attracted to each other, which means everyone gets a chance at poking fun at either of the two about it.
  • It's so obvious that Baraka, a cannibalistic Tarkatan (albeit one with Hidden Depths), is able to see it.
    Liu Kang: You respect Kitana, yes?
    Baraka: But not her concubine, Liu Kang.
    Liu Kang: (something between aghast and disgusted) ...Concubine?!
  • Cassie also doesn't miss the chance to tease him with it:
    Cassie Cage: Getting awfully cuddly with Kitana...
    Liu Kang: I... uh... don't know what you mean.
    Cassie Cage: Just remember, you're Earthrealm's Champion.
  • Kitana's best friend is in on the fun too.
    Jade: What are your intentions towards Kitana?
    Liu Kang: Only honorable ones, I assure you.
    Jade: Hurt her, Liu Kang, and you answer to me!
  • And now the Queen of the Shokan is in on it.
    Sheeva: Prove yourself worthy to be Kitana's consort.
    Liu Kang: By fighting you? What will that prove?
    Sheeva: That you are capable of protecting her.
  • Even Johnny Cage joins in on the fun.
    Johnny Cage: Looking forward to a kinder, gentler Outworld.
    Kitana: Why? Because I'm a woman?
    Johnny: Well, that, and you're banging Liu Kang.
  • On the bright side, Fujin's at least willing to give it respect.
    Kitana: Not you too, Fujin.
    Fujin: Your bond with Liu Kang is not my business.
    Kitana: Keep it that way.
• The Father must be sure not to let their kids hear them swear.
  Jax: Not surprised I have a kid, but you?
  Johnny: I know. Especially after the "Snip-Snip".
  Jax: Never let Cassie hear you say that.
  
  Cassie: I know the future looks dark.
  Jax: This future is bullshit.
  Cassie: Do not let Jacqui hear you say that.
• Kotal Kahn knows that he struck gold with Jade, and isn't above flaunting it.
  Erron Black: So... you and Jade, eh?
  Kotal Kahn: Jealous, Erron Black?
  Erron Black: She's quite the looker, Kotal.
• Cassie Cage shooting the breeze with Frost:
  Cassie Cage: Hey there, Elsa, what's up?
  Frost: (rolls eyes, annoyed) Ugh, why does everyone call me that!?
  Cassie Cage: Oh, honey, let me help you.
  • Frost isn't the only one rolling her eyes at her opponent...
    Erron Black: What realm do you hail from, amigo?
    Geras: I "hail" from Kronika's Keep.
    Erron Black: (rolls his eyes, sighs in disgust) Thrilling.
• Kano isn't exactly what you'd call intimidated by Noob's posturing.
  Kano: What're you, the Prince of Darkness?
  Noob: I am Death's hand.
  Kano: (unimpressed) Bugger off, mate.
• Frost isn't impressed by Shao Kahn.
  Frost: You're smaller in person, Shao Kahn.
  Shao Kahn: And you're an even bigger brat!
  Frost: Touched a nerve, didn't I?
• D'Vorah very bluntly mocks Kotal Kahn for his poor judgment of character.
  D'Vorah: You thought This One cared.
  Kotal Kahn: I thought you had faith.
  D'Vorah: In a blue-skinned bag of meat?
• Just to drive home the fact that no one liked Quan Chi...
  Scorpion: I beheaded Quan Chi.
  Shang Tsung: Thank you for sparing me the trouble.
  Scorpion: You are next, Shang Tsung!
• Kabal tries to boast about his speed compared to Geras' Resurrective Immortality... and fails.
  Kabal: I'll slice you up as fast as you heal!
  Geras: Please, it only strengthens me.
  Kabal: (completely deadpan) ...sadomasochist.
• Shao Kahn has a thing for Cassie. She does not reciprocate.
  Shao Kahn: You will join my concubines.
  Cassie Cage: One — eww! Two — piss off!
  Shao Kahn: I like females with fire.
• Cassie continues taking Shao down a peg.
  Shao Kahn: So the actor had a daughter.
  Cassie Cage: Unlike you, the old fashioned way.
  Shao Kahn: Careful whom you spite, Earthrealmer...
• Erron Black pushing buttons with Johnny's vanity.
  Erron Black: I know how to fix that face.
  Johnny Cage: Ha! Fix? (face falls) What's wrong with it?
  Erron Black: Nothin' hot lead can't cure.
  
  Johnny Cage: No one takes shots at the tattoo!
  Erron Black: I just did, Cage.
  Johnny Cage: Imma beat you back to Tex-ass-istan!
• Cassie learns a little bit about Erron Black's family life.
  Erron Black: My Ma would've loved you, Cassie Cage.
  Cassie Cage: Aww, sounds like you miss her bunches.
  Erron Black: I hated Ma.
• An odd Commonality Connection between a Shaolin monk and a cowboy.
  Erron Black: Ah, one hat-man to another, cool hat.
  Kung Lao: But your hat is no weapon.
  Erron Black: Well, that's just weird, Kung Lao.
• Speaking of Kung Lao, several intros between Jade, Kitana and Liu Kang treat him as something of an Annoying Younger Sibling to the Chosen One, with the women annoyed by his flirting and asking Liu Kang to tell him to knock it off.
  Kung Lao: Double date with Liu Kang and Kitana?
  Jade: In your dreams, Kung Lao.
  Kung Lao: A simple "no" would have sufficed.
  • And that wasn't the first time someone asks Liu Kang to do that, apparently.
    Jade: Consider having a word with Kung Lao.
    Liu Kang: (in an exasperated tone) Is he boasting again, Jade?
    Jade: He could learn from your humility.
  • Speaking of Kung Lao flirting:
    Kung Lao: I don't suppose you have a sister.
    Kitana: There is only Mileena.
    Kung Lao: Thank you. I'll pass.
  • Kung Lao is more arrogant this time around, which just increases how much he can snark.
    Kung Lao: How have we not fought yet, Kitana?
    Kitana: Liu Kang felt losing would hurt your pride.
    Kung Lao: How would your loss hurt my pride?
• Even Baraka doesn't skip out on some of the humor here.
  Baraka: Speak your joke to my face.
  Jacqui: Grandmother, what big teeth you have!
  Baraka: My Grandmother's were the biggest!
• When Mortal Kombat devolves into playground name-calling...
  Baraka: Shapeshifter!
  Shang Tsung: Wasteland cretin.
  Baraka: I prefer "Wasteland Impaler"!
• Liu Kang has some choice words about his brother's work ethic.
  Liu Kang: Master Li Bing saw your potential.
  Kung Lao: Is that why he made life Hell?
  Liu Kang: That was because you are lazy.
• Even Earthrealm's champion can be prone to daydreaming.
  Kung Lao: Your head's in the clouds.
  Liu Kang: My focus is on defending Earthrealm.
  Kung Lao: No, Liu Kang. It's on Kitana.
• Kano and Skarlet are certainly not on the same wavelength.
  Kano: Wanna taste Australia's best blood sausage?
  Skarlet: I'd rather taste your blood, Kano.
  Kano: (seductively) Would you settle for me sausage?
• Skarlet should really work on her phrasing...
  Kung Lao: We are not here to parlay, are we?
  Skarlet: I came to suck you dry.
  Kung Lao: Skarlet, we hardly know each other!
• Fans of Injustice 2 will get a chortle out of this banter:
  Raiden: I dreamt of a strange and unjust world...
  Sub-Zero: ...with a dark knight and a caped wonder.
  Raiden: How could you know my dream?
  • Similarly, another one for those who've played previous installments:
    Liu Kang: Are we the deadly alliance?
    Raiden: That is Kronika's deception.
    Liu Kang: Or a recipe for Armageddon.
• Most characters have some sort of explanation for their Mirror Match (same characters from different timelines, look-a-likes, Shang Tsung, etc.). One of Cassie's explanations? She literally points out how it breaks the fourth wall.
  Cassie 1: Oh cool, mirror match!
  Cassie 2: I love these, Cass! Don't you?
  Cassie 1: I know, so meta!
• Baraka wants none of what Kano is selling.
  Kano: Better get right with Kronika.
  Baraka: NOKT you and Kronika!
  Kano: Heh, now that's a bonzer attitude.
• Kollector is so greedy he's not even above scamming his own boss.
  Kollector: About those missing profits...
  Shao Kahn: Which profits, Kollector?
  Kollector: Nothing, Excellency...
• Remember Johnny Cage's The Friend Nobody Likes intros in X? His younger self is even less popular.
  Johnny Cage: You really like Future Johnny better?
  Jacqui Briggs: Name someone who doesn't.
  Johnny: Me.
  • Not even Shao Kahn, another hammy Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy, takes him seriously.
    Shao Kahn: You dare fight me, Cage?
    Johnny Cage: I'm an Emperor too, you know!
    Shao Kahn: Of make-believe!
• Trolling dark people is ill-advised. Especially when they're dark in a literal sense.
  Noob Saibot: You cannot ignore the Face of Death.
  Erron Black: Well, not when you're all gussied up.
  Noob Saibot: Die, Black!
• There are four instances where the curse words get a Sound-Effect Bleep. Considering Mortal Kombat's Rated M for Money status, and some other character intros dropping uncensored Precision F Strikes, these are pretty much Censored for Comedy.
  • Two of these come from lovable, Awesome Aussie Kano, a possible Take That! at Australia banning MK9:
    Cassie Cage: (In a mocking Australian accent) Throw another shrimp on the barbie!
    Kano: You sound like a shit-ass American tourist.^note  This is even funnier when you remember that Johnny said "Throw that on your barbie, shrimp." to Kano after their first fight. So Kano isn't just offended by a bad fake accent and a stereotypical line, he's sore at Cassie rubbing in her dad's first time kicking Kano's ass.
    Cassie: Even crooks are critics these days...
    
    Kano: Jackson Briggs.
    Jax: Ready to end this, Kano?
    Kano: Well, we ain't here to fuck spiders.^* Made doubly funny if they're fighting on the Lost Hive of the Kytinn.
  • One comes from Kabal, who ain't taking any from Johnny Cage's Hollywood star status
    Kabal: So you're Hollywood royalty.
    Johnny Cage: Feel free to curtsy, peasant!
    Kabal: Fuck that.
  • The fourth one comes from Cassie Cage, from the VGA Awards teaser for Joker, ladies and germs (bonus funny points for Cass's Harley Quinn costume).
    Joker: Well, aren't you just as cute as a button.
    Cassie: And aren't you just as creepy as fuck.
    Joker: Flattery will get you nowhere, deary.
• Geras occasionally drops hints as to just how old he really is.
  Geras: You... remind me of someone.
  Cassie Cage: Johnny Cage? Sonya Blade? Helen of Troy?
  Geras: Joan of Arc, the young martyr.
  
  Geras: You are an "Old West" enthusiast.
  Erron Black: Yeah, I'm your huckleberry, what of it?
  Geras: In 1881, Wyatt Earp shot me!
  • What makes this even funnier is Geras' tone as he reveals this. He's not annoyed or angry but excited, like this is his version of getting a celebrity autograph.
• Cassie Cage going for the low blows against Kabal. He even sounds insulted.
  Kabal: Think you're fast?
  Cassie Cage: I think you're butt-ugly.
  Kabal: That's just hurtful, Cage.
• Kabal's not exactly the best judge of character around.
  Sonya: Who said I tortured you?
  Kabal: Kano. He's got no reason to lie.
  Sonya: Except, y'know, he's Kano!
• Jax confuses Kollector, a Naknadan, for a Shokan. Hilarity Ensues.
  Jax: Wait, you're not Shokan?
  Kollector: They have four arms, we have six.
  Jax: Must be something in Outworld's water.
• Baraka manages to be genuinely snarky.
  Baraka: Nay aka ratakka tahar kombat.
  Kung Lao: All I understood from that was "kombat".
  Baraka: Then you understand enough.
  
  Baraka: Say your prayers, monk!
  Liu Kang: I'm actually more of a Warrior Monk.
  Baraka: Then my prayers are answered!
  • He even joins in the cast in mocking Frost, as well!
    Baraka: You'll be a good practice dummy.
    Frost: I am the future of pain, Baraka.
    Baraka: More like future of scrap metal.
• Frost lets her hypocrisy show by calling Baraka a freak. This coming from Ms. Transhuman Treachery with a huge megalomania complex. For extra laughs, her standard mouth guard gives here a Baraka-like look.
  Frost: Freaks do not trouble me.
  Baraka: Who calls Baraka "freak"?
  Frost: The Lin Kuei's new Grandmaster.
• Kung Lao doesn't skip on the Frost-roasting, either.
  Kung Lao: What have you done to your body?
  Frost: Allowed Kronika to make me the greatest.
  Kung Lao: To think, all I needed was a hat.
• Kitana against herself has this gem as a Brick Joke from Story Mode.
  Kitana 1: Liu Kang is committed to me.
  Kitana 2: I actually prefer his friend.
  Kitana 1: Kung Lao is not in our league.
• Not even Liu Kang and Kotal Kahn are immune to being Henpecked Husbands.
  Liu Kang: I expect we'll see more of each other.
  Kotal Kahn: If our women have their way.
  Liu Kang: Isn't it best to let them?
• Kano - Abhorrent Admirer, 0% Approval Rating, and he doesn't care.
  Kano: Oh... don't you just look peachy.
  Jade: Save your slobber, dog.
  Kano: I could eat a peach for hours.
• Cassie claiming herself to be a Superior Successor over her dad.
  Cassie Cage: Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better.
  Johnny Cage: I can do anything better than you.
  Cassie Cage: Ha! No you can't.
• Johnny Cage and Kung Lao have a familiar conversation with each other.
  Johnny Cage: What's Liu Kang got that I haven't got?/Ashby!Cage: What has Liu Kang got that I haven't got?
  Kung Lao: A personality not at all like sanding paper?
  Johnny Cage: Ouch.
• Kollector doesn't have the highest opinion of a certain Drunken Master. Also heartwarming since despite how...gross Bo' Rai Cho is, Liu Kang still has the utmost respect for him.
  Liu Kang: My master was Bo' Rai Cho.
  Kollector: That lazy drunk trained you? HA!
  Liu Kang: Drunk, yes, but not lazy.
• Here is Kollector making fun of Cassie Cage's name:
  Cassie: Your name's just 'Kollector'?
  Kollector: Your name means dung heap in my tongue.
  Cassie: This is why I hate Outworld.
• Kano is definitely aware he swindled Kotal Kahn, and he clearly has no regrets about it.
  Kano: C'mon, it was business, not personal.
  Kotal Kahn: Your business is cheating buyers?
  Kano: Well, yeah.
• Maybe he can get "it" elsewhere, Kano?
  Kano: If it's tail you want, I can get that.
  Johnny Cage: Johnny Cage doesn't pay for it, Kano.
  Kano: A scruple?! Note the date and time.
• Erron Black thinks Noob's voice is wretched.
  Erron Black: Goddamn, your voice is like nails on a chalkboard.
  Noob Saibot: It will be the last thing you hear.
  Erron Black: Aw, hell no.
• Doubles as a heartwarming moment, but it goes to show even Shao Kahn, of all people, appreciates his daughter.
  Shao Kahn: Raiden chooses champions poorly.
  Liu Kang: This from the man who chose Mileena?
  Shao Kahn: Do not mock my daughter!
• And while still on the topic of Shao Kahn vs Shaolin monks...
  Kung Lao: Your empire ends, Shao Kahn.
  Shao Kahn: I expected Raiden to send Liu Kang.
  Kung Lao: Now it ends painfully.
• Seems like Shao Kahn is still bitter at the loss of his throne. Kabal mocks him for that.
  Kabal: Someone wants his throne back.
  Shao Kahn: The offered aid is overpriced.
  Kabal: At least try the free sample.
• Sub-Zero had apparently approached Sonya on the assumption that she's somehow a cryomancer like him. The reason?
  Sonya: Sorry, I don't practice cryomancy.
  Sub-Zero: Johnny Cage called you "Ice Queen".
  Sonya: *sigh* Of course he did...
  • The fact that Sub-Zero really believed Johnny Cage. This cannot be emphasized enough: Sub-Zero, one of the most realistically grounded and skeptical characters around—especially playing the straight man to Johnny's silliness, took him at face value when he called Sonya an ice queen and went to Sonya with the likely intention to train and induct her into the Lin Kuei, and it ends with his genuine confusion that she didn't turn out to be like he thought Johnny said. Jax said it best; he does not get out much.
• An exchange between Geras and Kotal makes a nice reference to The Princess Bride:
  Geras: Kill me and I become stronger.
  Kotal Kahn: Then I will fight you To the Pain.
  Geras: I am not familiar with that phrase.
  • It's also present in one of Erron Black's Mirror Match intros:
    Erron Black 1: Us fightin' could muck up our timeline.
    Erron Black 2: That's damn near inconceivable.
    Erron Black 1: I'll just leave you mostly dead.
  • And of course, here comes the Mortal Kombat version of a legendary meme:
    Jacqui Briggs: My name is Jacqueline Briggs.
    Sindel: I killed your father.
    Jacqui Briggs: Prepare to Die...
• Johnny Cage gets a bright idea talking to Kotal Kahn. Made better when you realize with Erron Black on his payroll, Kotal's already got the cowboy.
  Johnny Cage: You just need a cop, a sailor, and a cowboy.
  Kotal Kahn: For what, Johnny Cage?
  Johnny Cage: Only the greatest disco reboot ever!
• Cassie's attempt at mediation doesn't go as smoothly as she'd hoped. Bonus points for Erica Lindbeck briefly slipping into her Futaba voice near the end.
  Cassie: I promise, [Johnny] gets better with age.
  Sonya: (scoffs) He's cheap beer, not fine wine.
  Cassie: Hey! That "cheap beer's" my dad!
• Jax and Johnny make for a hilarious Straight Man and Wise Guy act.
  Jax: English please, Cage?
  Johnny: Does Jax eat snacks by the tracks?!
  Jax: Jax whacks hacks across their backs!
• A broken clock is right twice a day— right, Frost?
  Johnny: What's up, Frosty the Snow Chick?
  Frost: Your time, Cage.
  Johnny: Clever girl...
• Sonya might have a bit more in common with Johnny than she cares to admit.
  Sonya: Are you some kind of ancient alien?
  Geras: Ancient, yes. Alien, no.
  Sonya: Well, that's a bummer.
• Shang Tsung has a proposition for Erron Black.
  Shang Tsung: Would you consider serving a sorcerer?
  Erron Black: ...on a hot skillet with beans, maybe.
  Shang Tsung: I will not extend the offer twice.
  • That said, Erron does need the sorcerer for something else.
    Erron Black: Kotal Kahn would like a word.
    Shang Tsung: I thought he wanted my life?
    Erron Black: Heh, that too, Houdini.
• Shang Tsung missed the memo on Kabal's policy regarding curtsying.
  Shang Tsung: Men like you serve men like me.
  Kabal: I don't bow, curtsy, or give a shit!
  Shang Tsung: Then why waste our breath...?
  • On the other hand, Kabal probably shouldn't question a freaking sorcerer...
    Kabal: Stealing my soul won't make you faster.
    Shang Tsung: Actually, that is precisely how it works.
    Kabal: Eh, shit...
• Feeling a bit stalk-ish, Shang Tsung?
  Cassie Cage: Another "friend" of my parents...
  Shang Tsung: I have always been so fond of your mother.
  Cassie Cage: Do you practice being creepy?
• Here's a nice Call-Back to the first live-action movie.
  Shang Tsung: I have a dress your size, you should wear it.
  Sonya Blade: Are you out of your damn mind?
  Shang Tsung: It was sewn by the finest designers of Outworld.
  • Even funnier if you have Sonya's movie skin equipped.
• Shang seems to have an interesting taste in movies.
  Shang Tsung: In seven days, I can make you a man.
  Geras: A mortal man who can be killed?
  Shang Tsung: I see you quiver with anticipation...
• Shang Tsung doesn't exactly appreciate Noob making his island more unsettling than it already was.
  Shang Tsung: No more haunting my island's shadows!
  Noob Saibot: Your island is Kronika's property.
  Shang Tsung: So she is your master now?
  • Of course, Kano also got his own plans for said island...
    Kano: Your island's gone to shit.
    Shang Tsung: Then why be so keen to claim it?
    Kano: None of your damn business!
• It seems there is a serious deficit with Earthrealm memes reaching Outworld...
  Shao Kahn: Prostrate yourself, Earthrealmer!
  Cassie: Can't. Took an arrow to the knee.
  Shao Kahn: I will suffer no excuses!
• Erron Black suffers a little bit of pop-culture failure.
  Erron Black: Sure glad I pack silver bullets...
  Nightwolf: I'm Nightwolf, not a werewolf.
  Erron Black: Good... Silver's expensive.
• A little bit of judgement from a Native American warrior.
  Nightwolf: You've led a privileged life.
  Johnny Cage: What can I say? I piss greatness.
  Nightwolf: Is that what it is?
  • There is also one thing that helps Nightwolf relate to Johnny.
    Johhny Cage: We have something in common?
    Nightwolf: I too, was once young and foolish.
    Johhny Cage: But I looked good doing it!
• Shang Tsung loves to mention tournament gags...
  Shang Tsung: A Nightwolf came to my island once.
  Nightwolf: She was my predecessor.
  Shang Tsung: I finished her in a Flawless Victory.
• Kotal has some difficulty understanding the concept of a Legacy Character:
  Kotal Kahn: We met once, centuries ago.
  Nightwolf: You met a Nightwolf, not me.
  Kotal Kahn: Explain yourself, Earthrealmer...
  • And so does Jacqui, apparently.
    Jacqui Briggs: There have been other Nightwolves?
    Nightwolf: I am the latest in a long line.
    Jacqui Briggs: Mind: Blown.
• Who says that the Native American people can't be sarcastic?
  Nightwolf: If we'd met, I'd remember it.
  D'Vorah: This One always makes an impression.
  Nightwolf: You're going to give me nightmares.
• Historical feuds can't be dealt with, as this intro can attest.
  Cassie Cage: How do we fix this, Nightwolf?
  Nightwolf: Give back our ancestral lands!
  Cassie Cage: Wish I was the person who could help with that...
• Erron's banter isn't always original:
  Erron Black: Are those horns holdin' up that halo?
  Cetrion: What an uninspired sense of humor...
  Erron Black: I'm the one takin' shots, goddess.
  • Cetrion's line is incredibly deadpan and annoyed, totally unlike her typically regal tone. Guess even gods hate clichés.
• Johnny's apparently been harping on Scorpion's bug-themed name:
  Johnny: All I'm sayin' is it's brand confusion.
  Scorpion: D'Vorah is a mere bug.
  Johnny: But she IS scorpion-adjacent!
  • Even funnier: the whole exchange sounds like the tail end of a long argument, so Scorpion may be about to impale Johnny just to shut him up.
• Fans of Arnold Schwarzenegger's filmography will get a kick out of many of the Terminator's intro lines.
  Sonya Blade: I hear you're an automated killing machine.
  Terminator: Cyberdyne systems. Model 101.
  Sonya Blade: At least you're not a damned Cyber Ninja.
  
  Johnny Cage: To be, or not to be?
  Terminator: Leave - or be terminated.
  Johnny Cage: Not to be.
  
  Baraka: You've never fought a Tarkatan.
  Terminator: If you bleed, I can kill you.
  Baraka: Ha! A delusional machine.
  
  Shao Kahn: You will serve me, cyborg.
  Terminator: What is your mission?
  Shao Kahn: To crush my enemies and see them driven before me.
  
  Terminator: Your proposals are irrelevant.
  Erron Black: Can't bargain or reason with you, can I?
  Terminator: No.
  
  Jacqui Briggs: Five bucks says you're here to kill me.
  Terminator: Of course. I'm a Terminator.
  Jacqui Briggs: You can do this, Briggs.
  
  Jax: How long have you been here?
  Terminator: Two weeks.
  Jax: Two weeks too long, you ask me.
  
  Terminator: You take me to Sarah Connor?
  Johnny Cage: Think of me as your Johnny cab.
  Terminator: You lie.
  
  Cassie Cage: What? No roses?
  Terminator: Just guns.
  Cassie Cage: Welcome to the jungle.
  
  Kabal: Are you sure about that?
  Terminator: Yes. Show me your speed.
  Kabal: Alright, then, it's Turbo Time!
  
  Geras: You cannot answer the Riddle of Steel.
  Terminator: That information is not within my files.
  Geras: Then be cast out from these realms!
  
  Terminator: Stand down.
  Cassie Cage: You wouldn't hurt me, would you, sweetheart?
  Terminator: Wrong.
  
  Terminator: Your observation is incorrect.
  Jacqui Briggs: You sure? That neck is pretty thick.
  Terminator: It is not a tumor.
  
  Baraka: What did Cage teach you to call me?
  Terminator: An "ugly motherfucker".
  Baraka: I will eat him alive!
  
  Terminator: Why are you upset?
  Jax: Because Cage turned on your learning computer!
  Terminator: Chill out, Jax.
  
  Liu Kang: Your Mars has blue skies?
  Terminator: I can recall those files totally.
  Liu Kang: This I have to see...
  
  Terminator: Take me to Sarah Connor.
  Cassie Cage: Can't. Gotta get to the chopper.
  Terminator: Now.
  
  Jacqui Briggs: Is it true Sub-Zero is now "plain zero"?
  Terminator: My mission objective is complete.
  Jacqui Briggs: Damn...
  
  Jax: You just can't go around killing people.
  Terminator: Why not?
  Jax: You just can't! Trust me.
  
  Erron Black: Any chance we can settle this peaceably?
  Terminator: No.
  Erron Black: Hasta la vista, baby.
  
  Kitana: You've been sent here to protect me?
  Terminator: And save the realms from a dark fate.
  Kitana: Why would I trust a machine?
  
  Terminator: I have come across time for you.
  Frost: Why? Because you love me?
  Terminator: To terminate you.
  
  Terminator: Have you killed anyone?
  Johnny Cage: Yeah, but they were all bad.
  Terminator: Why make that distinction?
  
  Terminator: I have detailed files on human anatomy.
  Sonya Blade: To make you a more efficient killer.
  Terminator: Correct.
  
  Shang Tsung: You do not feel pity or remorse.
  Terminator: I cannot feel human emotion.
  Shang Tsung: Perfect.
  
  Terminator: Your guns and your cape. Give them to me.
  Spawn: You forgot to say "please".
  Terminator: It was not a request.
  
  Mileena: It is unwise to challenge my father.
  Terminator: Who is your father, and what does he do?
  Mileena: He is Shao Kahn, ruler of Outworld!
  • Johnny has another reference to Arnold's movie history.
    Johnny Cage: Dude, you have "blockbuster" written all over you!
    Terminator: Where?
    Johnny Cage: And he's a comedian!
• Shao Kahn is very interested in Earthrealm's future...
  Shao Kahn: There is an entire legion of Terminators?
  Terminator: In the future, we drive humanity to extinction.
  Shao Kahn: Tell me more!
• An amusing case of Mistaken Identity.
  Terminator: Sarah Connor?
  Sonya: Sonya Blade!
  Terminator: Also targeted for termination.
• Skynet has absolutely no patience.
  Terminator 1: Why send a replacement?
  Terminator 2: You failed in your mission.
  Terminator 1: I've only just arrived.
  • Bonus funny points if the first Terminator to speak used the time sphere intro animation.
• Sorry, Frost, but you're not getting any help...
  Frost: You will help me fight the Lin Kuei?
  Terminator: Who is Lynne Quay?
  Frost: Stupid machine!
  • Speaking of "stupid machines"...
    Terminator: Did Skynet create you?
    Frost: No, this body's by Kronika.
    Terminator: Who is Kronika?
• Kano may have found his favorite customer.
  Terminator: I need guns.
  Kano: Rifles? Semi-autos? What kind?
  Terminator: All.
  • Made double funnier when the Terminator uses any intro animation but the time sphere one.
• The Terminator is not familiar with the Mortal Kombat world:
  Shang Tsung: Perhaps, technology is superior to magic.
  Terminator: Magic is an artificial construct.
  Shang Tsung: You're not from around here, are you?
• Even the literal killing machine doesn't miss the chance to give a funny nickname to someone. Indirectly.
  Terminator: Johnny Cage gave you a code name.
  Jade: And just what did his lewd mind come up with?
  Terminator: Doris.
• Behold - the ultimate roasting, courtesy of the Terminator.
  Terminator: You are also a Terminator?
  Kano: Only thing "cyber" about me is the eye.
  Terminator: Too bad.
  • By contrast, Kano isn't impressed.
    Kano: Got electric nets? Rocket launchers?
    Terminator: No.
    Kano: Ain't much of a cyber, then.
• Cassie, meet Sindel. Sindel, Cassie.
  Cassie: Ding-dong, the bitch is back.
  Sindel: Who is this insufferable child?
  Cassie: Cassie, the Shinnok Slayer!
• Sindel gets savage... and sexy... at the same time.
  Sindel: Kneel and lick my boots.
  Johnny Cage: Maybe on our second date, sweetheart.
  Sindel: I. Said. Kneel.
  
  Sindel: Is Johnny Cage a competent lover?
  Sonya Blade: That's none of your goddamn business!
  Sindel: Perhaps he'll serve as my consort.
  
  Sonya Blade: Your empire picked the wrong fight.
  Sindel: Nothing on Earthrealm can stop us.
  Sonya Blade: Two words, bitch: Nuclear Weapons.
  
  Sindel: Earthrealmer! You will die.
  Erron Black: Damn, that voice is sexy! ^note  Even funnier when you remember Noob's voice...
  Sindel: Want me to scream for you?
  
  Sindel: Ever lie with an Edenian woman?
  Jax: That's not something on my bucket list.
  Sindel: What pathetic fool rejects me?!
  
  Sindel: Have you ever been dominated?
  Raiden: Are you offering, Sindel?
  Sindel: Submit. You may enjoy it...
• Jax tries to display some gentleman attitude.
  Jax: Fighting ladies? Not my thing.
  Sindel: There are other ways to be physical.
  Jax: Woman, I'm an officer - not some gigolo!
• Another mention of a certain alliance?
  Sindel: How are we to move forward?
  Shang Tsung: Perhaps we should form an alliance.
  Sindel: We're both too deadly for that...
• Even Edenian queens desire grandchildren.
  Sindel: Kitana will always belong to me.
  Liu Kang: Not her. Not your grandchildren.
  Sindel: Now you've gone too far.
• Local clown crime boss finds a new market to corner.
  Joker: Those blades! Those teeth!
  Baraka: Realizing the ways I can kill you?
  Joker: The bucks I'll make selling them in Gotham!
• When The Comically Serious meets The Clown Prince of Crime.
  Noob Saibot: You have no soul.
  Joker: I have two, one on each shoe!
  Noob Saibot: Your "humor" will die with you.
• When Clowns Collide
  Joker 1: We'll have to make do as a dynamic duo.
  Joker 2: Only two of us? That's an injustice!
  Joker 1: What we could do with a third...
• Joker's most heinous crime yet...
  Jax: I'll never forgive you, Joker.
  Joker: Which of my crimes has your panties twisted?
  Jax: Making Kano seem less like a monster.
• Joker paying respect to classical comedy.
  Joker: I hear you do impressions!
  Shang Tsung: Unlike you, I am no cheap vaudevillian.
  Joker: It takes a lot of money to look this cheap!
  • Joker takes a lot of pride in his appearance.
    Joker: You son of a bitch, you stole my face!
    Shang Tsung: I could steal a lot more, clown.
    Joker: Never rub another man's rhubarb!
• Netherrealm Studios loves their Mythology Gags.
  Joker: We didn't meet the last time I was here.
  Cassie: This isn't your first visit?
  Joker: Nobody told you? I was all the rage!
  • There's more than a few nods to DC, as well
    Joker: There's a gal I know you would love.
    Frost: Is she a great cryomancer?
    Joker: She's killer, Frost!
    
    Joker: Manitou Raven, is that you?
    Nightwolf: The name is Nightwolf.
    Joker: Are you some kind of Apache chief?
    
    Joker: A lifetime of sacrifice, and for what?
    Jax: The pride of serving my family and country.
    Joker: You sound like that big blue boy scout.
    
    Kotal: You threaten Outworld's order!
    Joker: Of course I do, Witchdoctor Fate!
    Kotal: Then you shall face Osh-Tekk judgement.
• They also love Casting Gags!
  Joker: Love the feathers! Do you talk to birds?
  Kotal: A ludicrous suggestion, jester!
  Joker: Really? I know a king who talks to fish!
  • A blatantly obvious one:
    Joker: Well, aren't you a Vixen.
    Jacqui: I'm off limits, Joker.
    Joker: As if I respect boundaries.
• Sorry, Batman, but you've been replaced in Joker's heart.
  Joker: *sigh* Yet another high-kicking goody-goody...
  Liu Kang: I have no qualms taking your life.
  Joker: Hehe! Maybe this will be fun!
• When a clown meets someone who doesn't get why things are funny...
  Joker: Y'know, you remind me of Bats.
  Terminator: Who is "Bats"?
  Joker: Just another jerk with no sense of humor.
• Joker and Terminator: now performing their Straight Man and Wise Guy routine!
  Joker: Would it kill you to smile?
  Terminator: That is beyond my programming.
  Joker: Such a party pooper!
• Watch out, Joker, she's a mean one!
  Joker: I love your flair for the dramatic.
  Sindel: Speak again, knave, and I'll punish you!
  Joker: Hehe, please do!
• Service with a (crooked) smile!
  Sindel: (smugly) You may have the privilege of serving me.
  Joker: ...HeheHYAHAHAHAHA!!
  Sindel: (visibly angered) ...did I say something funny?
• You know it's Serious Business when you can make Johnny Cage look good.
  Joker: Hehehehe, "Grandmaster Blueberry Ice", eh?
  Sub-Zero: Only Johnny Cage may use that name and live!
  Joker: You're hardly intimidating, snow cone!
• Who knew Joker spoke fluent Hawaiian?
  Joker: There's a name for people like you.
  Scorpion: Choose your next word carefully, Joker.
  Joker: Humuhumunukunukuapua'a!
  • To give you some context (as noted in a comment), the Joker basically called Scorpion a triggerfish with a snout like a pig.
• Not really much of a threat...
  Raiden: I will banish you to Chaosrealm.
  Joker: "Chaos"? Now, you're talking!
  Raiden: Begone, jester!
• Even the Black Dragons have standards.
  Joker: I'm here to join your merry band of cutthroats!
  Kano: It's invitation only, you drongo!
  Joker: I've got your invitation right here!
• Joker's seen it all.
  Joker: Everywhere I go, there's a speedster...
  Kabal: My apologies for boring you.
  Joker: None needed! You'll be dead in a flash!
• Kabal ain't having none of it!
  Kabal: I can't kill you fast enough.
  Joker: Heha, my boy, you can't kill me at all!
  Kabal: I've had it with that shit-eating grin.
• Some more backstory behind the Black family:
  Erron: My uncle was a clown.
  Joker: Was he? I hope he was funny!
  Erron: "Funny" ain't the word for it.
• Not even the gross bug people can stand Joker!
  D'vorah: Your chaos disrupts the Hive.
  Joker: Oh, goodie! Mission accomplished!
  D'vorah: You will die for your meddling.
• Only someone like Joker could get this strong a reaction out of people.
  Frost: Your next stop is a slab.
  Joker: Why give me the cold shoulder?
  Frost: You exist, Joker.
• Johnny Cage's bored tone shows that he is just done with the Joker!
  Johnny Cage: Is there a point to your evil?
  Joker: HA HA HA—No. Should there be?
  Johnny Cage: I do not want to know your origin story.
• Baraka's streak as Outworld's whipping boy continues.
  Spawn: I don't like your ugly face.
  Baraka: Sticks and stones, human!
  Spawn: I also brought chains and bullets.
• Spawn, who hates clowns, meets the Joker, a psychotic clown. It goes as well as you might expect. Bonus points if the player has the "Violated" intro equipped, in which Spawn presents Violator's head on a piece of rebar as if to show just how much he hates clowns.
  Spawn: No more jokes, no more laughs.
  The Joker: (pouty face) Sounds like you've got a case of the grumps!
  Spawn: (sotto voce) I fucking hate clowns...
  
  Joker: You look like a hugger! Bring it in!
  Spawn: I'll turn you inside-out ass-first, clown.
  Joker: I love it when they talk dirty!
  
  Spawn: Your Angel of Death awaits.
  The Joker: (with a hint of irony) You can't kill me! Heroes have moral codes!
  Spawn: Who said I was a hero?
• Speaking of Violator, and how much of a vile piece of work he is...
  Erron Black: You're a hard man to pin down.
  Spawn: Why're you following me, dirt bag?!
  Erron: This, uh...clown paid me to.
• Even Johnny Cage seems to know about Spawn's hatred for clowns.
  Johnny Cage: I know, I seem like a clown to you...
  Spawn: And I HATE clowns!
  Johnny Cage: Then do NOT watch Ninja Mime.
  • This is funnier if you have the "Violated" intro equipped for Spawn AND if Johnny Cage is in his Ninja Mime outfit.
• Spawn meets Shao Kahn. It's gonna be a hell of a fight!
  Spawn: Imagine Outworld, free of slaves.
  Shao Kahn: Over my dead body!
  Spawn: Today's the day, skull-fucker.
  
  Spawn: Another dime-a-dozen petty dictator.
  Shao Kahn: Petty?! I am mighty!
  Spawn: Mighty stupid's what you are, Shao Kahn.
  • By contrast, Shao Kahn ain't having any of Spawn's Hell threats.
    Shao Kahn: Who is this? A new contender?
    Spawn: Hell's got a special place for you, Shao Kahn.
    Shao Kahn: Keep it warm, I'm not done living yet.
    
    Shao Kahn: Only one of us walks out of here.
    Spawn: You've sinned on a scale reserved for gods.
    Shao Kahn: And you can't beat that.
• Don't just talk about it, be about it!
  Spawn: Speak for yourself, not Kano.
  Kabal: My blades are sharper than my tongue.
  Spawn: Then shut the fuck up and fight.
• And then, there is this exchange with Spawn and Kabal.
  Spawn: Any idea who I am?
  Kabal: Some kind of Japanese luchador?
  Spawn: I'm the ghost that goes BANG in the night, punk.
• This bit between Spawn and Noob Saibot.
  Spawn: Your Hell is mine.
  Noob Saibot: Argue that with the Deadly Alliance.
  Spawn: You'll be my messenger.
• Not even Spawn has a droplet of respect for Sindel!
  Sindel: Your sulfur stench is putrid.
  Spawn: I've seen alley trash worth more than you.
  Sindel: For that, I'll have your head.
• Spawn and Raiden discuss their Crossover appearances.
  Raiden: You remind me of another dark knight.
  Spawn: The billion-dollar crusader? He's a friend.
  Raiden: It seems we are both well-travelled...
  • Scorpion gets in on it, too.
    Spawn: You've been to other dimensions.
    Scorpion: Each has had its own injustices.
    Spawn: Maybe that's why my soul still burns.
  • Three for three!
    Sub-Zero: I have met caped wonders before.
    Spawn: Your days of icing people end here!
    Sub-Zero: They spoke like that, too.
• Spawn calling Nightwolf out on the obvious.
  Nightwolf: You're not from this realm.
  Spawn: No shit, Sherlock... Is it a problem?
  Nightwolf: Only time will tell.
• Might wanna tell Cassie that Spawn's not from the circle of lust...
  Cassie Cage: Guns, magic, you can't just choose?
  Spawn: I can go both ways.
  Cassie Cage: Well, that explains the fetish wear...
  • That's not the only shot Cassie takes at Spawn:
    Cassie Cage: I hear you're Satan's general.
    Spawn: No. I'm King of Hell.
    Cassie Cage: And I'm Queen Shit of Fuck Mountain.
• Being a picky eater was never something that could be said about Baraka, but now it is.
  Baraka: Your meat smells burned.
  Spawn: Try "deep-fried in Hellfire."
  Baraka: Eh, that passes for edible...
• Kano apparently likes to kill with a certain flair.
  Kano: This eye isn't fashion, it's functional.
  Spawn: What is it with bad guys and laser eyes?
  Kano: What's the point in a covert kill?
• Spawn is not amused with Johnny Cage's ego.
  Spawn: I've got no time for struggling actors.
  Johnny Cage: Struggling?! You wanna see my residuals?
  Spawn: I'd rather hit you with reality.
  
  Spawn: The choices we make in life matter.
  Johnny Cage: Which is why mine are all so amazing.
  Spawn: You need a mortician...
• Is there some kind of convention for Big Creepy-Crawlies, or something?
  Spawn: Last giant bug I met tried to eat me.
  D'vorah: You speak of the Phlebiacs?
  Spawn: Of course you uglies know each other...
• What's better than running? Teleport-spamming, of course!
  Kabal: Don't run, that's too easy.
  Spawn: Shit... I can teleport.
  Kabal: Isn't that convenient, Freakazoid!?
• An Odd Couple if ever there was one.
  Spawn: A man who can never die.
  Geras: Against a man who can never live.
  Spawn: Aren't we a pair?
• Sheeva does not hold back with her Brutal Honesty.
  Sheeva: So you're Raiden's brother?
  Fujin: We are partners in defending Earthrealm.
  Sheeva: Are you also partners in incompetence?
• Baraka has never seen anyone quite like Alex J. Murphy.
  Baraka: What in the ten hells are you?!
  RoboCop: The future of law enforcement.
  Baraka: Ha! You'll soon be a scrap heap!
• Deja vu?
  RoboCop: Haven't we done this before?
  Terminator: I have no record of a previous encounter.
  RoboCop: We have met... I'm sure of it.
• Always duplicated, but never replicated!
  RoboCop 1: Where did you come from?
  RoboCop 2: The RoboCop program, phase 2.
  RoboCop 1: I will not be cloned.
• Murphy's jurisdiction reaches as far as Outworld.
  Shao Kahn: My actions are not your concern!
  RoboCop: Even you must obey the law.
  Shao Kahn: I am the law, fool!
  • This becomes more Hilarious in Hindsight given Rambo's inclusion.
• Officer Murphy takes cop films very seriously...
  RoboCop: Your police films are unrealistic.
  Johnny Cage: Fans don't want real, they want BOOM!
  RoboCop: It's a disservice to the public.
  • ...but not seriously enough to consider being in one.
    Johnny: You ever consider doing movies?
    RoboCop: Are you serious...?
    Johnny: Absolutely! Can you sing?!
  • These intros become more hilarious if the below intro is established as context. It sounds like the beginning of a long discussion about police films and Johnny Cage's movie career, with the above intros sounding like different points of said discussion. The intro below also doubles as a small heartwarming moment because Johnny Cage finally found someone who is willing to help him with a movie idea.
    RoboCop: How can I help you, Cage?
    Johnny: Research! I'm a robot cop in my next blockbuster.
    RoboCop: What do you want to know?
    • Made doubly hilarious with this intro, which sounds like Johnny Cage's first meeting with Robo, as a precursor to all of the above intros, of which would then become Brick Jokes in hindsight.
      Johnny: Part Man, Part Machine, All Cop.
      RoboCop: That is correct.
      Johnny: Please, tell me no one's signed you.
• First impressions are important.
  RoboCop: You are Johnny Cage's daughter?
  Cassie: Hah! Shocked I'm not some Beverly Hills brat?
  RoboCop: Yes.
• LANGUAGE!
  Spawn: There still a man under all that shit?
  RoboCop: Bad language makes for bad feelings.
  Spawn: Perfect. You're about to feel real bad, motherfucker.
• The reason RoboCop is even on this Earth shouldn't come as a surprise.
  Jax: So you're after Kano too?
  RoboCop: He's wanted for many crimes on my Earth.
  Jax: Damn, that guy gets around.
• YES! HE SAYS IT!
  RoboCop: You're done making trouble.
  Joker: You'll have to catch me first, officer!
  RoboCop: Dead or alive, you're coming with me.
  
  RoboCop: Come quietly, Joker.
  Joker: Or what, Dodo-Cop?!
  RoboCop: There will be trouble.
  
  RoboCop: You can help capture Kano?
  Liu Kang: And expedite your return to your realm.
  RoboCop: I'll buy that for a dollar.
  
  RoboCop: Come with me. You must stand trial.
  Sindel: Ha! I am not bound by your laws!
  RoboCop: You have twenty seconds to comply.
• Unfortunately for Jacqui, word spreads quickly.
  RoboCop: I have heard about the Fiji mission.
  Jacqui: Oh god! What were you told?
  RoboCop: It's a great story, Jacqui.
• Part Man, Part Machine, 0% tolerant of Kano's BS.
  RoboCop: You have the right to remain silent.
  Kano: And you have the right to bugger off.
  RoboCop: Your waiver of rights is noted.
• Even the Wind God is able to have fun... in a certain way.
  Jacqui Briggs: Frost and Cetrion tried taking you out?
  Fujin: Thankfully, I got my second wind.
  Jacqui Briggs: You been hanging with Dad, Fujin?
• Sounds like not only Tremor sincerely enjoys Johnny Cage's work...
  Fujin: It's true, Johnny. I'm a fan.
  Johnny Cage: You, sir, have excellent taste!
  Fujin: Say nothing to Lord Raiden.
  • Guess what happens next?
    Fujin: Who else knows, Cassandra?
    Cassie Cage: That you are Dad's biggest fan? Uh, everyone.
    Fujin: I told him not to say anything!
• Discussion of Mythology with a god probably would end this way, wouldn't it?
  Fujin: Is there a wind god in your pantheon?
  Nightwolf: Far too many to name.
  Fujin: Any of them named Fujin?
• It really does run in the family, doesn't it?
  Fujin: I blessed the ancient tribe that bore your line.
  Johnny Cage: Wait a tick, are you my great-great-grampa?
  Fujin: No, he was insufferable. Just like you.
• Being a Pop-Cultured Badass doesn't mean a 100% track record on references, it seems.
  Johnny Cage: I've beaten Earth and Fire.
  Fujin: The Elementals have returned?
  Johnny Cage: Nah, I was reaching for a music reference.
• What might be the most scathing insult ever delivered in the history of Mortal Kombat.
  Fujin: There is nothing here for you. Begone.
  Kano: Rack off, Raiden Lite.
  Fujin: Have it your way, Hsu Hao.
• A choice piece of Naknadan wit and wordplay.
  Kollector: Is it corrupt to extract gold from fools?
  Fujin: Yes, that is called a confidence scheme .
  Kollector: Well, I am confident in my scheme.
• Kotal Kahn certainly loves Jade, and Jade alone... or does he?
  Sheeva: Ages ago, I had a crush on you.
  Kotal Kahn: And now, Queen Sheeva?
  Sheeva: Now I will simply crush you.
• Like most Outworlders in this game, Sheeva's done with Shao Kahn.
  Shao Kahn: You will be my first female champion.
  Sheeva: Some honor, to be YOUR champion.
  Shao Kahn: You meant to say "Thank you, emperor."
• Jeez, Shao, keep your fantasies to yourself...
  Sheeva: Does it surprise you that I'm Queen?
  Shao Kahn: No, but I miss your skimpier attire.
  Sheeva: I do not dress for you, Shao Kahn.
• Sheeva threatens to rip Geras to bits, but she doesn't realize she's threatening someone who can't die.
  Geras: Hail Kronika, Keeper of Time.
  Sheeva: Hail me or I'll rend you to bits.
  Geras: By all means, Sheeva, make me stronger.
• Erron, being the Casanova he is, hitting a Shokan Queen.
  Erron Black: My heart wants to love you, Miss Sheeva.
  Sheeva: So say many men to the Queen.
  Erron Black: I ain't many men, I'm Erron Black.
• Even with Mileena's return, NRS isn't done poking fun at the sheer amount of requests she got.
  Mileena: A koin for your thoughts, Erron?
  Erron Black: Just trying to reckon why the hell you're back.
  Mileena: A million souls cried out for my return.
• A bit of snark from the Kahnum herself.
  Scorpion: You choose enemies poorly.
  Mileena: You're right, this will be too easy.
  Scorpion: (audibly pissed off) Burn in hellfire, Mileena!
• Seems Johnny finally found someone who wants to act with him... and it's the one HE has doubts about.
  Mileena: We both despise D'Vorah.
  Johnny Cage: That doesn't mean we're making a buddy picture.
  Mileena: Think of the possibilities.
  • Speaking of the above, allow Mileena to present her acting credentials, courtesy of a quick bit of showing off by Kari Wahlgren.
    Kabal: Bullshit you can imitate Kitana. Not with that mouth.
    Mileena: *flawlessly mimicking Kitana's voice* Now do you believe, Kabal?
    Kabal: How in the hell is that possible?!
    
    Mileena: (laughing cruelly) I fooled you completely, Liu Kang!
    Liu Kang: No. Not for one minute.
    Mileena: *pulling the Kitana voice off again* Help me, Liu Kang! Help me!
• Seems Mileena's not above hissy fits when Daddy doesn't get her what she wants.
  Mileena: You didn't teach me blood magic!
  Shao Kahn: Sorcery is Skarlet's gift, not yours.
  Mileena: You wouldn't know. You never gave me a chance!
• Baraka's way of courting...
  Mileena: You reek with desire.
  Baraka: Submit to the Fakas Rakatan!
  Mileena: (laughs) I will never mate with you, Baraka.
  • Even funnier if one remembers her intro with Johnny Cage in Mortal Kombat X, when he disses her precisely for that and she angrily questions his source without denying it.
• The war never ends...
  Rambo: In the future, machines are in charge?
  Terminator: All human life is terminated.
  Rambo: ...fuck.
• The mental imagery of Rain on vacation at the Grand Canyon is worth a laugh in and of itself.
  Rain: What is this "Arizona?"
  Rambo: It's where I'm from.
  Rain: I'll have to visit it, once it's conquered.
• A new guest character means even more Mythology Gags! This time, it's a reference to Sly's movie history.
  Johnny Cage: Are you sure you've never been on camera?
  Rambo: Not in this life, friend.
  Johnny Cage: Damn, you look familiar.
  
  Rambo: Your pop, is he serious?
  Cassie Cage: Like poison oak on your private parts.
  Rambo: There is no way I'm an action star.
  
  Joker: Nah-ah-ah! These lips are sealed!
  Rambo: What happens next? Spill it!
  Joker: Hahaha, and ruin the cliffhanger?
  
  Rambo: You get what I'm gonna do to you?
  Joker: *Laughing at the idea of it* Even for me, it's Over the Top.
  Rambo: For what you did, it's justice.
  
  Rambo 1: You from Bowie, too?
  Rambo 2: No, I'm from Philly.
  Rambo 1: No kidding...
  
  Cassie Cage: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!
  Rambo: Your mother's not even here.
  Cassie Cage: Don't worry...She'll find you!
  
  Jax: You took out Shao Kahn's army singlehandedly?
  Rambo: Just did what had to be done.
  Jax: You got a gift for demolition, man!
  
  Kotal Kahn: Why were you sent here?
  Rambo: Only I can complete the mission.
  Kotal Kahn: Or perhaps you were deemed expendable.
  
  Kotal Kahn: You will not draw First Blood.
  Rambo: It's who draws last blood that matters.
  Kotal Kahn: Neither are in your future!
  
  Skarlet: A most impressive specimen.
  Rambo: There's nothing here for you.
  Skarlet: Then Farewell, My Lovely.
  
  Rambo: I came all the way here to fight you?
  Terminator: Correct.
  Rambo: Your ass is gonna be terminated.
• Rambo's had to eat bugs before, but that doesn't mean he'd accept being on the receiving end.
  Rambo: What do you want with me?
  D'vorah: To feed your flesh to the Hive.
  Rambo: That is seriously fucked up.
• Kung Lao's streak as Earthrealm's whipping boy continues.
  Rambo: People find you intimidating?
  Kung Lao: Those with any sense do.
  Rambo: ...guess I got none, then.
  • Johnny Cage isn't catching a break either.
    Rambo: Had a guy like you in my platoon.
    Johnny Cage: He must've been a natural born leader.
    Rambo: He was an asshole who wouldn't shut up.
• Poh-tay-to, poh-tah-to...
  Rambo: So, you're a vampire?
  Skarlet: I am a blood mage, not a vampire.
  Rambo: The difference being...?
  • Made funnier when you remember that, at least in the original timeline, vampires do exist in the Mortal Kombat universe (remember Nitara?). There is a difference!
• Rambo consistently does not react well to the supernatural madness he's suddenly fallen into.
  Rambo: I've seen some pretty scary shit.
  Jacqui: You ever fight zombies, John?
  Rambo: (panicked) Zombies?! Is that a thing here?!
  • Not to mention it being a world where hell is a place one can literally get dragged to.
    Rambo: You've actually been to hell?
    Scorpion: My soul was enslaved by its darkest forces.
    Rambo: What kind of place is this?
• One that's both chucklesome and an Awesome Moment for John since even though he's kinda afraid, he doesn't want the likes of Shao Kahn giving him shit for it.
  Rambo: My god, you're big.
  Shao Kahn: Hahaha, filled with dread, human?
  Rambo: Yeah, but don't judge me for it.
• Rain's tongue might just be as sharp as Noob's, eh, Shao Kahn?
  Shao Kahn: I presume you still covet my throne?
  Rain: (mocking laughter) Your throne? Isn't it Kitana's?
  Shao Kahn: Watch your tongue, Edenian!
• Low blow, Kabal.
  Kabal: So who the hell names their kid "Rain"?
  Rain: Do not dare insult my mother!
  Kabal: She didn't do you any favors, friend.
• A quick look into one of Cassie's pet peeves.
  Cassie Cage: Like all Angelenos, I hate the rain.
  Rain: Why hate the rain, Earthrealmer?
  Cassie Cage: Everyone forgets how to fucking drive!
• When you find out one of your comrades is a traitor...
  Mileena: You weren't helping me, you were using me!
  Rain: And you were a most useful idiot.
  Mileena: (angry snarl)
• Protest too much?
  Rambo: I heard you were a freak.
  Mileena: By whom?! I will eat them alive!
  Rambo: Guess I heard right.
  
  Mileena: You aided Kotal Kahn against me.
  Cassie Cage: Well, duh, fuckwit. You're a crazed she-beast.
  Mileena: For that, I will DEVOUR YOUR FLESH!
• Mileena rolls an intimidation check, fails hard.
  RoboCop: I never anticipated this fight.
  Mileena: Do I make you nervous?
  RoboCop: No.
• The writers make the most of Rain's Punny Name, loading in numerous Prince references:
  Rain: You must miss being Kahnum.
  Mileena: I enjoyed its glamorous life.
  Rain: A pity you won't have it again.
  
  Rain: Outworld is conquered?
  Joker: All hail the new king in town!
  Rain: What are you?
  
  Joker: We meet again, sweet prince!
  Rain: This time we battle to the last.
  Joker: Let's go crazy!
  
  Frost: What's on your Dirty Mind?
  Rain: I need someone cool to rule my world.
  Frost: That's some fantasy, but it's not mine.
  
  Rain: I offer vast wealth, Frost.
  Frost: I want power, not diamonds and pearls.
  Rain: Serve me, and you shall have it.
  
  Johnny Cage: That look just screams "artist"!
  Rain: I am a god, fool.
  Johnny Cage: Baby, you're a star!
  
  Jax: We've got you surrounded, Rain.
  Rain: Then shall we begin the party?
  Jax: Party's over. You're out of time.
  
  Jax: You should've left Jacqui alone.
  Rain: I never meant to cause you any sorrow.
  Jax: Well, now I'm going to cause you pain.
• Johnny has another song reference for Rain, but about a completely different artist.
  Rain: You dare fight Rain?
  Johnny Cage: It's a glorious feeling, I am happy again!
  Rain: You will be dead, Earthrealmer!
• Tonight on "Kombat's Most Fucked Up Families"...
  Erron Black: From what I hear, you got daddy issues.
  Rain: He disavowed me, then framed me for murder!
  Erron Black: Shoot, is that it? Hell, he ain't got nothing on mine.
  
  Rain: So, we're both bastards.
  Erron Black: If I ever meet Pa, he's a dead man.
  Rain: We have that in common, too...
• Just a reminder, this is Johnny Cage saying this. The fact that Rain of all people seems offended by not being in his movies makes this even more hilarious.
  Rain: There's no role for me in your films?
  Johnny Cage: Yeah, life's too short to work with assholes.
  Rain: Yours grows shorter with each breath.

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