"My children, you should know something. I'm packing."
Voiced by: Matt Stone
Son of God and host of his own talk show, "Jesus and Pals."
"My geologist? Now? Tell him the infection is fine and I don't need another check-up."
Voiced by: Mary Kay Bergman (1997-1999), Eliza Schneider (1999-2003), April Stewart (2004-present)
Corrupt and idiotic mayor of South Park.
- Bi the Way: She's implied to be in a relationship with Officer Barbrady and slept with Chef, but she's also slept with Mrs. Cartman and was shown looking at a porn magazine of busty women in one episode.
- Characterization Marches On: Originally she was a lot stupider than most of the other South Park adults, but as they got dumber she's generally become smarter; modern episodes tend to vary on whether she's just as dumb as them or the Only Sane Adult in town.
- Pointy-Haired Boss
- Surrounded by Idiots: Is perfectly aware of the absurd hijinks that occur in the town and has little respect for the idiocy of its citizens, though she rarely comes off as much smarter.
- You Gotta Have Blue Hair: No, it's not a shower cap.
"Sister, the Jews crucified our Lord and Savior. I mean, if you don't go to hell for crucifying the Savior, then what the hell do you go to hell for?"
Voiced by: Matt Stone
South Park's resident Catholic priest.
- Ambiguously Gay: Claims in one episode to be an ex-homosexual.
- The Fundamentalist: He believes that Jews and the handicapped will end up in hell. He's right, but what he doesn't know is that so will Catholics, since only Mormons go to heaven.
- Only Sane Man: In "Red Hot Catholic Love", we find out that he's the only Catholic priest in the universe that doesn't molest children.
"Okay, people, move along. Nothing to see here."
Voiced by: Trey Parker
The town cop, incredibly stupid and unhelpful. His squad car says "To Patronise And Annoy".
Sergeant Harrison Yates
Voiced by: Trey Parker
An incompetent and corrupt police officer who hates rich black people. Works under the Park County Police Department.
- Bad Cop/Incompetent Cop
- By-the-Book Cop: When it comes to rich black men. Otherwise, he is pretty much a Cowboy Cop.
"We've got another rich black guy. I want him humiliated and dragged through the dirt, and I want it done by the books!"
- Clueless Detective: Partially subverted; he does figure out the culprit behind the left-hand murders using his own police work, but it was unnecessary police work because the evidence was screaming right in his face. He also would have never seen said evidence had it not been for Kyle.
- The Commissioner Gordon: In "The Coon," he is this to Mysterion and the Coon wants him to be it for him.
- Custom Uniform: He and his partner Mitch Murphy are plainclothes detectives.
- Dirty Cop
- Jerkass: He snubs Kyle more than anyone else.
Dammit Marsh, why couldn't you have just kept your stupid ugly kid in line?!
- Lawful Stupid
- Officer O'Hara
- Police Are Useless: Whenever Kyle reports something.
- Retcon: First shown as part of the FBI and then the South Park Police.
- Satellite Character: Detective Mitch.
- Too Dumb to Live
- Villain Protagonist: In "The Jeffersons" and arguably "Butters' Bottom Bitch," seeing as how the first 2 men he arrested were portrayed sympathetically.
Terrance and Phillip
Phillip: "Terrance, I-"
Terrance: "No. No, Phillip, don't say it. I was an asshole, and this is mostly my fault."
Phillip: "That's what I was gonna say: You were an asshole, and this is mostly your fault."
Voiced by: Matt Stone (Terrance) and Trey Parker (Phillip)
A comedy duo from Canada who host a show that seems to consist entirely of fart jokes, and is a favorite of the four main boys.
- Author Avatar: For Trey Parker and Matt Stone, most prominently in "Canada on Strike" and The Movie.
- Brought to You by the Letter "S"
- Canada, Eh?: To an extreme, eh, buddy?
- Cluster F-Bomb: "Terrance and Phillip: Asses of Fire"
- A Day in the Limelight: Terrance & Phillip: Not Without My Anus
- Distaff Counterpart: The Queef Sisters, Katherine and Katie.
- Early-Installment Weirdness: In their first appearance, Trey Parker was the voice of Terrance while Matt Stone voiced Phillip.
- Gasshole: They fart a lot.
- Happily Married: To the Queef Sisters.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: Although there is some question about Phillip.
Terrance: Why do you think Scott hates us so much Phillip?
Phillip: Maybe he's homophobic.
But we're not gay, Phillip.
Phillip: We're not?!
- Out of Focus: Appeared a lot more frequently in the show's early seasons than in the later ones.
- Retcon: Their show was originally referred to as a cartoon, and the whole intent was that the animation was even worse than South Park's. However, it was later established that the "crappy animation" is how all of Canada (and Saddam Hussein) looks. Lampshaded with the fact that they had an Saturday morning cartoon, which "started to breed confusion over whether Terrance and Phillip were animated characters or real people." They were also originally intended to be British (as revealed on a DVD commentary), before being retconned into Canadians for season 2. This also lead to Ike being revealed as adopted, due to his resemblance to them.
- Self-Deprecation: They were originally created in response to criticisms that South Park (in season 1 mostly) was a badly animated and vulgar show filled to the brim with fart jokes and foul language. So Trey and Matt created an in-universe show with even worse animation that is nothing but fart jokes.
- Snipe Hunt: The duo are prone to randomly deciding to search for treasure within their immediate surroundings.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: In The Movie.
- Spell My Name with an S: Is it Terrance or Terrence? It's usually the former, but sometimes the latter can crop up.
- Toilet Humor: Every joke on their show seems to have the same punchline: One of them farts in the other's face.
Phillip: Say Terrance, what did the Spanish priest say to the Iranian gynecologist?
Terrance: I don't know Phillip, what?
Terrance and Phillip: HAHAAHAHAAHA!
- Trademark Favorite Food: Kraft Dinna.
- What Do You Mean, It's Not for Kids?: Zig-zagged In-Universe. Sometimes Terrance & Phillip is referred to as a children's show, sometimes it's for adults, either way kids love it.
"Don't forget to bring a towel."
Voiced by: Vernon Chatman
A talking, drug-addicted towel made in a lab. Intentionally a flat "ancillary character with a few amusing catchphrases."
- Animate Inanimate Object
- Breather Episode: "A Million Little Fibers" and "Crippled Summer", two Towelie-centric episodes, aired immediately after "Cartoon Wars" and "200/201", which were controversial even by South Park standards.
- Catch Phrase: "Don't forget to bring a towel" and "You wanna get high?"
- A Day in the Limelight: "A Million Little Fibers". (Although, in all fairness, the few times Towelie does appear he is usually the focus of the episode.)
- No, You: "You're a towel!"
- The Scrappy: In-universe, though "A Million Little Fibers" didn't help in real life.
- The Stoner: He's also used and is addicted to crystal meth, and crack cocaine, and tried using heroin and inhaling computer duster.
- Vague Age: He's 17 in towel years. Whatever those are.
"Ooh, Jethuth Chritht!"
Voiced by: John Hansen
Mr. Garrison's former lover and current husband of Big Gay Al.
- Catch Phrase: "Ooooooh! Jethuth Crhitht!"
- Charles Atlas Superpower: How else to describe his ability to insert an entire Paris Hilton into himself?
- Depraved Homosexual: A subversion, for the most part. Sure, he does dip into it with him killing small animals by shoving them up his ass, but despite that and his choice in clothing, with humans he only engages in mutually consensual acts and emphasizes that whores like himself and Paris Hilton are not good role models for children.
- Everyone Calls Him Mr. Slave: No one knows what Mr. Slave's real name is, though it may be possible that it is his real name.
- Happily Married: To Big Gay Al.
- Hooker with a Heart of Gold: Appears to be just a submissive whore to Mr. Garrison, but he has a lot of common sense and knows that children should not look up to him as a role model. He tells Wendy, who wanted to be a whore like him at one point, that being a whore isn't all fun and games and there's more to life than just partying and having sex.
- Macho Camp
- Only Sane Man: When you go beyond his self-admitted depravity, he is one of the few adults to give good advice and generally not be useless.
- He's also the only adult to realize that being a whore is a bad thing and shouldn't be something you want to be.
- Orifice Invasion/Evacuation: He enjoys forcing small animals to crawl up his ass. Most of these animals die, but one gerbil named Lemmiwinks manages to traverse Mr. Slave's entire digestive system and crawl out his mouth.
- You read it: you can't un-read it.
- Speech Impediment: Talks with a stereotypical gay lisp.
Big Gay Al
"I'm super, thanks for asking!"
"Hey! We don't take kindly to your types in here."
Voiced by: Matt Stone
A man who gets pissed off about a lot of things, often seen in the bar or passionately leading inane movements. Usually depicted as more of a redneck than the main fathers (who are just whatever the plot calls for), but still considered one of the Guys.
Dr. Alphonse Mephesto
"I've done it, Kevin. I've successfully spliced this chipmunk with a piece of provolone cheese. Do you know what this means, Kevin? No more will the world have to look in two different places for squirrels and provolone cheese."
Voiced by: Trey Parker
The proprietor of the South Park Genetic Engineering Ranch. In addition to traditional Mix-and-Match Critters
, he likes to create multi-assed creatures.
- Aesop Amnesia: In his first appearance, he learns that it's best to "just leave nature alone, to its simple one assed schematics." In his second appearance, he genetically engineered ill-tempered turkeys for Thanksgiving. At the end of the episode, he even starts saying the exact same aesop he learned in his first appearance until Chef interrupts him with a "yeah, yeah, yeah."
- Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: He hasn't been seen much for a while.
- Internal Retcon: He falsely revealed Cartman's father to be his mother for the sake of the Denver Broncos, who were among the people suspected to have fathered Cartman at the time.
- Mad Scientist
- Satellite Character: Kevin, a midget who follows Mephesto almost wherever he goes. In season one's "Starvin' Marvin," Chef interrupts an important speech to ask Dr. Mephisto what the hell Kevin is supposed to be.
- Shout-Out: To The Island of Doctor Moreau (the film version starring Marlon Brando). Lampshaded in "Cartman Joins NAMBLA", where he has a completely different NAMBLA of his own — the North American Marlon Brando Look-Alikes (filled with men who look like Marlon Brando — most of which are Brando as Don Vito Corelone from The Godfather).
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Until season 14, he hadn't been seen in ten years bar a few background cameos. Trey and Matt mentioned in the commentary for his season 14 episode that they "stopped finding him funny" and wish they'd permanently taken him off the show in the NAMBLA episode.
Flush him down, but he's never gone!
His smell and his spirit ling-er on!
Voiced by: Trey Parker
Christmas-themed sapient poo. Based on a character made up by Trey Parker's father, who told him when he he was a kid that if he did not flush the toilet after going, Mr. Hankey would jump out and bite him.
Santa: "Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand
just like that river twistin' through the dusty land"
Jesus: "Uh, Santa, Santa, Santa. That's not a Christmas song, bud."
Santa: "I know, but there's, like, 300 Jesus Christmas songs and only four fucking Santa ones!"
Voiced by: Trey ParkerSanta Claus
. Jesus' best friend
The Super Best Friends
Narrator: In the great hall of the Super Best Friends there are assembled the leaders of the world's biggest religions. Jesus! Buddha! Krishna! Muhammad! Lao Tse and Joseph Smith! And the mighty Semen.
Announcer: And their mission, to right that which is wrong and to serve all mankind!
An organization of religious superheroes and Sea-Man
, seemingly led by Jesus.
"You will hit puberty when the time is right. But you will never have a period, because you are a man — with titties. Thus spaketh the Lord. And now I return to heaven."
Voiced by: Trey Parker
Jesus' father and a Buddhist, even though only Mormons, Kenny (sometimes), and Saddam
are allowed into Heaven.
- Big Good
- He Who Must Not Be Seen: His true form has only appeared twice; other times he appears just as a beam of light shining on a person while they speak.
- Mix-and-Match Critter
- Physical God
- Too Dumb to Live: In "A Ladder To Heaven," he's been hearing rumors that Saddam Hussein has been constructing chemical weapons (in heaven). God confronts him about it...:
Saddam: (ordering around people on what is clearly a chemical weapons plant complete with working missiles) Get those nitrogen capsules over there by the warheads. Chop chop, come on! (a light shines on him from the sky)
God: (from offscreen) Saddam, I've been hearing rumors that you're secretly building weapons of mass destruction up here.
Saddam: Weapons of mass destruction? Nooooo! This is just a chocolate chip factory, see? (gestures to a logo on on of the silos that reads "Saddam's Heavenly Chocolate Chips)
God: It looks like a chemical weapons plant.
Saddam: (chuckles) Stupid asshole.
- But then again, what is He to be afraid of?
Scott the Dick
"Awrah! I hate you more than ever, Terrance and Phillip! I absolutely abhor you both!"
A grumpy television critic from Canada. Everyone hates him. He REALLY
hates Terrance and Phillip.
- Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: "You're a dick, Scott! You've always been a dick! And then you got radiation poisoning in Ottawa and now you're a giant dick!"
- Berserk Button: His loathing of fart jokes.
- Brought to You by the Letter "S": The letter "S" on his shirt.
- Canada, Eh?
- Catchphrase: "You'll rue this day!" usually as he's walking off screen.
- "I'll fix you!", usually after calling them a fart lover.
- Disproportionate Retribution: He's willing to team up with Saddam Hussein and let Canada get taken over if it means getting rid of you-know-who.
- Even Evil Has Standards: He's the biggest patriot of Canada and he would never harm the royal family and helps save the Princess.
- Grumpy Bear
- I Love Nuclear Power: Becomes a giant after getting radiation poisoning.
- Non-Standard Character Design: A minor example. His head isn't round like most Canadians; it's... pear-shaped?
- Phrase Catcher: "Watch out for Scott! He's a dick!"
- Poke the Poodle: He may be a Big Bad, but only by Lighter and Softer Canadian standards.
Scott: "I'm wishing cancer upon you!"
Scott: "That's right! I'm trying to give you cancer with my mind!"
Terrance: "Ah! Stop that!" (hides behind Philip)
Philip: "Hey! Don't give me cancer!"
- Politically Incorrect Villain: He's vocally and absurdly prejudiced against Inuit, calling them no-good "Ice Beaners" and "Polar Gooks".
- Real Men Wear Pink: He dons a pink blanket/wrap in Royal Pudding.
- That Makes Me Feel Angry: "I hate you more than ever, Terrance and Phillip! I absolutely abhor you both!"
- Satellite Character: He pretty much exists to hate Terrance and Phillip. In later episodes, however, he has begun to antagonize the boys and even all of Canada, though he has an Enemy Mine moment to save the Princess of Canada. Basically, his entire character exists to be a dick.
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Was this for Terrance and Philip in "Not Without My Anus", then became one for all of Canada whenever he appeared.
Tuong Lu Kim/Dr. Janus
"Herro, wercome to Shitty Wok, tay your order pree?"
Voiced by: Trey Parker
A stereotypical Chinese man who is the owner of the City Wok restaurant, and the dissociative alter ego of Caucasian therapist, Dr. Janus.
- Asian Speekee Engrish: Milked for all its hilarious worth.
- Clasp Your Hands If You Deceive: The episode "City Sushi" turns this into a sort of tic for him.
- Japanese Ranguage: Though he's Chinese. Justified as he's actually white.
- Jerkass: Acts like this to the Japanese. Dr. Janus is like this to Butters.
- Janus is arguable since, despite being an incompetent quack who misdiagnoses Butters, he is rather soft spoken and understanding to Butters' "condition" and genuinely believes he is helping him. One of his other personalities on the other hand...
- Meaningful Name: Dr. Janus is a reference to the Roman God Janus which is normally depicted with two or more faces; a clear reference to his multiple personality disorder.
- Put on a Bus: After The Reveal.
- Split Personality
- Tomato Surprise
Eric Cartman's pet cat.
"They took our jobs!"
A redneck and member of the Construction Workers' Union who is known for his catchphrase and his conservative views.